HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 9/11/2011

 

An irresistible treasure trove of blood red Lewis-abilia, Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video's HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE is just about the most absorbing and utterly delightful documentary that fans of the pioneering filmmaker could hope for.  Covering his entire career in exhaustive detail, we're treated to first-hand insider accounts along with a wealth of film clips, outtakes, press materials, and other goodies. 

"Part filmmaker, part carny" describes both Lewis and his longtime partner, producer/distributor David Friedman, who take an active part in the production and supply us with most of the behind-the-scenes information.  A teacher of English and Humanities, Lewis drifted into advertising before buying half interest in a film studio and making his first erotic exploitation film, "The Primetime" in the late 50s.  ("It wasn't the greatest film in the world," says Friedman, "but it had sprocket holes and could run through the machine.")  For his next one, "Living Venus", he discovered frequent star William Kerwin and a young Harvey Korman in a home economics film called "Carving Magic." 

Self-distribution led to screenings in burlesque houses, which then got Lewis and Friedman started making "nudie cuties" (which the documentary's co-director Frank "Basket Case" Henenlotter calls "the stupidest movies ever made.")  Russ Meyer's "The Immoral Mr. Teas" inspired them to expand these short films into nudist-camp features such as "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre" (shot for $8,000) with Lewis and Friedman serving as the entire film crew.



Just about any film or individual mentioned during the narrative is accompanied by clips and/or photos--even "Carving Magic" is briefly seen.  The first part of the film is a concise history of nudie cuties and nudist camp features in the 50s and early 60s, with generous feature clips and behind-the-scenes footage.  Even a nude and surprisingly fit Mal Arnold, who would later play villain Fuad Ramses in "Blood Feast", can be spotted in shots from "Goldilocks and the Three Bares." 

As the novelty value of these films began to wear off, Lewis and Friedman moved on to the next logical frontier of exploitation--gore.  Here we get into the real meat, so to speak, of the documentary, with detailed accounts of the making of "Blood Feast" (1963), "Two Thousand Maniacs" (1964), "Color Me Blood Red" (1965), and other horrors that were extremely shocking at the time and brought the ire of local censor boards down upon anyone connected with them.  Again, this segment is packed with highlights and outtakes from each film, with an enthusiastic Lewis speaking at length about what went on during production and Mal Arnold adding his own recollections about "Blood Feast"--which was shot in four-and-a-half days for $24,500.

Lewis non-gore efforts are covered as well, including the ripped-from-the-headlines "The Girl, the Body, and the Pill" and a delightfully lame rock'n'roll comedy called "Blast-off Girls" (both from 1967), which featured, of all people, Colonel Harlan Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame (who supplied the cast and crew with free chicken in return for some product placement).  We also see scenes from Lewis' director-for-hire film "The Magic Land of Mother Goose" and the outrageous bad-girl biker flick "She-Devils on Wheels."



Briefly flirting with a more mainstream appeal, Lewis made the less violent "A Taste of Blood" in 1967 before delving back into gore with a vengeance.  As is demonstrated by the numerous clips, films such as "The Wizard of Gore", "The Gruesome Twosome", and 1972's horrendous "The Gore-Gore Girls" (his final film, which featured legendary comedian Henny Youngman) are some of the most cheerfully depraved forays into graphic violence Lewis ever directed.

Despite his reputation, however, Lewis comes off as an earnest and personable guy whose excitement and sense of fun are infectious.  In addition to the talking head stuff (which in no way dominates the film) we see him at the home he shares with wife Margo and addressing a direct-market advertising conference, which is his current passion.  We also follow him and Friedman to St. Cloud, Florida, the location for "Two Thousand Maniacs", where they're warmly received by the town's current citizens (in a funny re-enactment of the film's opening scenes) and reunited with longtime junior partner Jerome Eden. 

Best of all, the film ends with Lewis appearing along with "Blood Feast"'s Mal Arnold and Connie Mason at the 2005 Chiller Theater Expo, where he performs a rousing rendition of his "Two Thousand Maniacs" theme. "Ya-HOOO!  The South will rise again!" he croons with boyish glee as the crowd goes wild.

Also appearing in the film are Lewis devotees Joe Bob Briggs, John Waters, and Frank Henenlotter, whose insights into the maverick filmmaker's career are invaluable, and a host of Lewis associates with extensive personal experience in the making of these films.  Lewis' son Robert gives us the lowdown on the fine art of squeezing an eyeball for the camera.  Actor Ray Sager enhances his comments with a spot-on Lewis impersonation, while cinematographer Steven Poster admits, "I don't know if I've ever actually seen one of his movies."  Andy Romanoff, who accurately opines that these films are memorable "for their lack of craft" and "because they're so terribly made", inspires this exasperated remark from Lewis: "The problem I had with Andy Romanoff was that he wanted to make a good movie!"



Fans of the great Bill Kerwin (probably best known as the star of "Blood Feast" along with the non-Lewis trash classic "Playgirl Killer aka Decoy For Terror") will be happy to discover much behind-the-scenes footage and information about this legendary actor.  In addition to "Carving Magic", we also get to see a scene from an industrial short which actually shows Kerwin involved in a happy, shiny song-and-dance routine.  Described as a hard-working, hard-drinking go-to guy who proved invaluable to Lewis on the set, Kerwin is showcased in footage from the unfinished "An Eye for an Eye", which was unearthed and partially assembled by Something Weird to give us an idea of what this lost film might have been like.

The DVD from Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby stereo.  No subtitles.  Extras include H.G. Lewis trailers (with taglines such as "It's tantalizing, titillating, and tantamount to tremendous!"), a Lewis nudie short entitled "Hot Night at the Go-Go Lounge!", and a photo gallery.  Best of all is a full hour of deleted material from the documentary, which is practically a whole extra feature in itself.  One of the highlights is the sight of Bill Kerwin punching out a plate glass window with his bare hands.

H.G. Lewis fans can't go wrong with HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE, which captures the excitement of making underground films about forbidden subjects which shocked and horrified contemporary sensibilities.  As Lewis tells us, "That was the entire intent, to make something outrageous.  And in that respect, yes, we did succeed."  To which Friedman adds: "We had fun."


Buy it at Amazon.com
Read our coverage of the "Blood Trilogy" Blu-Ray collection

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE DARK KNIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

(First posted Dec. 17, 2008)

How dark should a "Batman" movie be? Some fans despise the Frank Miller-influenced take on the character that's become popular in recent years, especially after Tim Burton exorcised all of that jolly Adam West campiness once and for all back in '89. Others, like me, loved the Michael Keaton version of the caped crusader and were even happier to see director Christopher Nolan's BATMAN BEGINS take the subject to still greater heights of realism. Now, with Nolan's 2008 sequel THE DARK KNIGHT, Batman gets his darkest and most adult screen adventure yet, and--unless you prefer your Batman scurrying around on giant pennies with Robin and Bat-Mite--it's a complex and magnificent achievement.

The story opens with a Gotham City beseiged by a hornet's nest of gangland criminals stirred up by the Batman's tireless efforts to thwart their underworld enterprises. Desperate to stop him, they turn to the only person who seems crazy enough to take him on--The Joker, a mysterious, seemingly fearless psycho in clown makeup who lives to create as much chaos as possible. He also aims to prove that anyone is corruptible by taking on Gotham's dauntless new D.A., Harvey Dent, who rivals Batman as a crusader against crime. To do this, Joker plans to murder Dent's one true love, assistant D.A. Rachel Dawes, and place the blame on Batman and newly-appointed police commissioner James Gordon, thus twisting Dent himself into a vengeful agent of terror.

There's a lot of story packed into this film's 152-minute running time, perhaps even too much--it took me two or three viewings to get everything straight and fully appreciate all the twists and turns--but it's riveting. More than just a superhero flick, THE DARK KNIGHT is a top-notch crime drama that takes itself seriously in every respect, while also fully exploring the dimensions of each character. Mix all that with a series of breathtaking action sequences featuring Batman in some of his most dazzlingly audacious exploits ever, and the effect is nothing less than exhilarating.

The best thing about the action scenes in this movie is how much of it is done without CGI, using good old-fashioned stuntwork and practical effects instead of digital cartoon figures slugging it out. This is especially true of the film's central setpiece, in which Harvey Dent is being transferred to the county lock-up after publicly confessing that he is Batman. It's all a ruse, of course, to draw the Joker into the open, and it results in a no-holds-barred chase scene involving police and SWAT vans, a tractor-trailer rig, a garbage truck, and the Batmobile. At one point, Batman emerges from the wreckage of the Batmobile riding his new Batcycle (officially it's called the "Batpod", but I like Batcycle better), which you gotta see to believe. The Joker takes one look at this contraption careening out of an alleyway and remarks appreciatively, "Now THERE'S a Batman."

It's this admiration and respect for Batman that helps make the Joker character interesting. Heath Ledger doesn't act stereotypically evil as much as gleefully, insanely prankish, almost childlike at times, as though the Joker simply gets a thrill from messing things up and causing trouble, and rather than try to kill Batman, he finds him a delightfully fun playmate with whom to engage in deadly games. With little regard for self-preservation and a pronounced suicidal streak ("HIT ME!" he shrieks as the Batpod bears down upon him), he hurls himself into each harrowing situation with utter abandon. But he's incredibly dangerous, too, as evidenced by his explosive escape from police custody and his lethal dealings with Gotham's mob underworld.

Ledger's Oscar-worthy performance is amazing from start to finish, consistently fascinating and endlessly surprising. Some have said that the script gives him too many speeches explaining his behavior, as in his "I'm an agent of chaos" scene with a bedridden Harvey Dent, but I could listen to him all day. He's just plain fun to watch. People have mentioned detecting elements of Richard Dreyfuss or Jack Lemmon in his portrayal, while I thought I heard a little of Al Franken's "Stuart Smalley" in there as well. He's got that insane laugh down pat, too, but it isn't an affectation--he really comes off as a total loon.

The rest of the cast is awesome as well. There's Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman from the first film (that's a kickass lineup right there), with the addition of Aaron Eckhart (THE CORE) as Harvey Dent, who later morphs into the hideous Two-Face. Maggie Gyllenhaal takes over the role of Rachel Dawes and is effective in a non-glamorous, down-to-earth way. Cillian Murphy makes a brief return as the Scarecrow early on, and Anthony Michael Hall appears as Gotham's leading television newsman. A really pleasant surprise for me was the appearance of one of my all-time favorite actors, Eric Roberts, as the head of Gotham's criminal element, and it's great to see him in a high-profile role such as this. Likewise, I enjoyed seeing Tommy "Tiny" Lister, who appeared with Roberts in the classic RUNAWAY TRAIN, in a brief but pivotal role, as well as Melinda McGraw as Gordon's wife Barbara and William Fictner as a shotgun-wielding bank manager during the film's exciting opening sequence.

As you might expect, the movie looks and sounds great on DVD. The standard two-disc edition is a little light on extras, though. There are two brief featurettes, one covering the creation of the new Batsuit and Batpod, the other describing Hans Zimmer's musical themes for the Joker. Six sequences from the movie are presented in their IMAX aspect ratios. My favorite is the six-episode series of segments from a fictional news show, "Gotham Tonight", with Anthony Michael Hall's character interviewing various Gotham notables. Rounding out the selection are production stills, poster art, trailers, and a digital copy of the film.

In addition to these, the Blu-Ray edition includes the following:
Movie with Focus Points (picture in picture)
Batman Tech: The incredible gadgets and tools (in HD)
Batman Unmasked: The Psychology of The Dark Knight--Delve into the psyche of Bruce Wayne and the world of Batman through real-world psychotherapy (in HD)
Galleries: The Joker cards, concept art, poster art, production stills, trailers and TV spots.

THE DARK KNIGHT ends on a suitably dark note with the Batman on the run from the law, now a suspect in several murders and a pariah in Gotham City. Is this the traditionally downbeat middle chapter of a trilogy? In any case, the untimely death of Heath Ledger makes it a memorably unique cinematic experience that, regrettably, can never be reprised. But with just about everyone else on board for the following sequel--and not a trace of giant pennies or Robin in sight--I can't wait to see what Christopher Nolan has in store for us next.

THE DARK KNIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

BAD ASS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/27/12

 

If you've followed actor Danny Trejo's career from the young prison boxer (which he actually was at the time) of RUNAWAY TRAIN to the fearsome knife-throwing assassin in DESPERADO to the even more fearsome killing machine Machete in MACHETE, then no doubt the lively trailer for BAD ASS (2012) made you think "Hey, this could really be cool."  And if you're like me, actually watching the movie made you think "Hey, this is really...ehh."

Not that seeing perennial bad ass Trejo, now in his late 60s, as a geriatric do-gooder bopping around in a baseball cap, baggy shorts, and sneakers isn't funny and somewhat endearing.  The scene in which he intervenes between two hostile skinheads and an old man on a city bus, kicking their butts and becoming a YouTube hero in the bargain, is feelgood stuff that satisfies my urge to vicariously dole out vigilante justice to those who deserve it. 

Other scenes with Trejo's "Frank Vega" character taking on various attackers and administering gut-busting stomach punches and granite-knuckled haymakers, all in a quest to find the killers of his best friend Klondike (Harrison Page) while the police do nothing, have a similar visceral appeal.  But the movie surrounding all of this is a hit-and-miss affair that resembles some cheesy 70s flick you might have paid scant attention to at the drive-in whenever there wasn't something kinetic taking place on the screen. 

Of course, this may have been director and co-writer Craig Moss' intention and, if so, he has succeeded.  The cheese factor begins early with a flashback of young Viet Nam veteran Frank (Shalim Ortiz) unsuccessfully readjusting to civilian life while wearing what looks like a Halloween wig that was cut and styled at a dog-grooming parlor.  The actress playing the elder Frank's mother (Tonita Castro) later on appears to be between 5-10 years older than him at most. 

When Frank comes to the rescue of pretty young Amber (Joyful Drake), the battered wife next door, their May-December romance is handled in about as embarrassing a fashion as you might imagine.  Amber's son Martin (John Duffy) sports a 70s-style 'fro and is one of those hip wisecracking kids we're supposed to find funny even though we actually want to place-kick him through a bay window.  The dialogue during all this is pretty wince-inducing although Danny, bless his heart, brings his best game to the whole thing, even giving us a crying scene at one point.

Forgetting the film's dumber elements and concentrating on the action is your best bet.  Ron Perlman makes a brief appearance as the city's crooked mayor, but it's his henchman Charles Dutton who gets quality screen time with Frank when he discovers that the local hero is in possession of a flash drive (given to him by Klondike) that could send the mayor to prison. 

Once Frank is captured and tortured via some painful-looking booby electrodes, Dutton does the actor equivalent of Hulking out with some big, and I mean really big-big bad-guy acting that culminates in one of those epic dirty fistfights that makes you wish the camerawork and editing were better.  And right before that, we get a crash-tastic chase between two city buses which pretty much makes the whole movie worth watching. 

The DVD from 20th-Century Fox Home Entertainment is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English, French, and Spanish.  Extras consist of a director's commentary track and a making-of featurette.

The oddest thing about this film is that in the midst of Frank's occasionally lighthearted quest for justice (Danny Woodburn, the midget from "Seinfeld", has a funny cameo) there's a jarringly nasty scene that's so violent, with the basically decent Frank suddenly turning so heartlessly sadistic, that it's like something out of a torture porn flick.  Yet in his commentary, director Moss seems to regard this as just another cool scene topped off with a couple of funny zingers.  It's just this sort of thing that makes BAD ASS such a disjointed and not particularly cohesive movie--not really bad but not all that good, either.

BAD ASS -- DVD Review by Porfle

FORCE OF EXECUTION -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 12/7/13

 

Steven Seagal continues to keep one big foot planted firmly in the action sub-genre that he himself created--namely, the "Steven Seagal movie"--but in the case of the mildly entertaining FORCE OF EXECUTION (2013) his participation is noticeably limited to little more than "guest star" status.

Just as the titles of these movies are now mostly random combinations of the same group of words, the plot of this latest Seagal foot-fest is a simple mix of action and gangster movie tropes upon which to hang fight sequences like Christmas ornaments. 

But let's face it--that's just what we want, as long as it's put together with skill and a little pizzazz, as this minor but watchable effort is.  This time, Seagal plays his usual ex-military badass who now uses his training to advance himself to kingpin status in the world of crime.  When he sends his most trusted man, Roman Hurst (Bren Foster, MAXIMUM CONVICTION, "Days of Our Lives") on an important hit, it's deliberately botched by Ice Man (Ving Rhames), an up-and-coming gang boss who wants to move up in Steve's crime family before taking it over himself.  Roman gets the blame, is punished by having his hands broken, and is sent into exile as a street bum.  

While drinking his way through his new life, Roman befriends an ex-con named Oso (Danny Trejo) who runs a diner along with Roman's heartthrob, the lovely Karen (Jenny Gabrielle, SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN).  When Oso and Karen get drawn into the escalating war between Steve and Ice Man, Roman realizes he must knock himself back into some kind of fighting shape in order to protect both them and his former boss, to whom he is still loyal for some damn reason I couldn't quite figure out. 

It's the same tired old plot about warring crime lords vying for top-dog spot in a particular hood, but you really don't have to worry too much about the details as long as you keep track of who the good bad guys are as opposed to the really bad, evil, nasty bad guys.  The violence-enriched story by Richard Beattie (MAXIMUM CONVICTION) and first-timer Michael Black doesn't quite flow but instead jerks forward from one cliched situation to the next, coming to life when these trash-talking bastards threaten, torture, or physically attack each other.

Seagal, thank goodness, seems to have managed to keep his weight down lately and wears something that looks more like a regular suit than a muu-muu.  In fact, he seems to be in the same relatively spry shape as in the recent MAXIMUM CONVICTION, another film by director Keoni Waxman (HUNT TO KILL, THE KEEPER) which really scored a home run while giving stars Seagal and Steve Austin plenty to do. 

But even though he's more sedentary these days, Steve's strengths lie in how he uses his still considerable presence, talking trash and being the baddest mofo in whatever room he happens to saunter into.  And by now, director Waxman knows how to work his movie magic in order to make it look as though the big guy is doing more than just flailing his arms and letting a stand-in do all the heavy lifting.  Steve's fans are well aware that he does a minimum of the agile stuff himself these days, so just getting the illusion right is pretty much all we can ask. 

Waxman does well with a decent script and knows how to put together a terse, coherent action scene in which quick cutting adds to the excitement rather than the confusion. In fact, you can almost sense his own cinematic excitement  gearing up when the talking's done and it's time to get down to business. 

With the young and athletic Bren Foster, whose character is actually FORCE OF EXECUTION's main attraction, Waxman has someone he can work with to create some wildly furious fight scenes in which guns and knives come into play as well as fists and feet.  As an actor, Foster reminds me of a perpetually nonplussed Colin Farrell, which is either good or bad according to your own tastes.  Action-wise, he's got the kind of moves (including a very good spin-kick) that make fans of this kind of flick happy. 

Ving Rhames has some fun chomping on the scenery as a more jovial version of PULP FICTION's Marcellus Wallace, delivering lines like "It's lucky for you I promised my mama I wouldn't kill anybody today" and shooting off two guns at a time with both eyes shut tight.  The ever-reliable Danny Trejo, who should be well on his way to "national treasure" status by now, also seems to be having a good time, especially when using his witch doctor skills to apply deadly scorpions to an unwilling patient in order to "heal" his wounds.  As Karen, Jenny Gabrielle makes an appealing love interest/damsel-in-distress for Foster's hero to rescue from her dastardly captors.

The 2-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby  5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  The sole extra is a behind-the-scenes featurette.

By the final reel, Steven Seagal has geared up into commando mode to fight off Ving and his men in his own fortress of crime, which leads to a highly eventful (but seemingly rushed) finale.  While nowhere near the rollicking success of MAXIMUM CONVICTION,  and lacking anything resembling URBAN JUSTICE's cool-as-hell ending, FORCE OF EXECUTION still manages to provide more than the minimum requirement of entertainment that we've come to expect from the latter-day Seagal.

FORCE OF EXECUTION -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

VENICE UNDERGROUND -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/20/11

 

The first thing I thought after watching VENICE UNDERGROUND (2005) for a couple of minutes was, "This looks like an episode of a TV series."  But after awhile I began to realize that if this were indeed the pilot for a series, no network executive in his right mind would pick it up.  In fact, if your dad had followed you around with a movie camera when you were a kid and filmed you and your friends playing cops and robbers, he would probably accidentally make a better movie than this one.

A prologue takes us to the office of police captain John Sullivan (veteran character actor Ed Lauter) as the mayor chews him out over the phone because of the ongoing carnage caused by two Venice Beach gangs, the Northside Surf Crew and the Southside Crips, who are waging an ongoing battle to control the local drug trade.  It seems like a hopeless situation until one of his underlings, an ambitious young sergeant named Frank Mills (Randall Batinkoff), waltzes in with a peach of a idea -- they will pluck a group of raw but attractive cadets out of the police academy, set them up in a beach house, and have them go undercover! 

That, of course, will be a lot better than putting experienced cops on the case, because, as Mills explains:  "The kids are all instinct and street smarts.  They know no boundaries."  Visions of "The Mod Squad" and "21 Jump Street" begin to dance around in Capt. Sullivan's head, with a little "Charlie's Angels" and "Baywatch Nights" thrown in for good measure.  What a great idea!

With their origin story out of the way even before the day-glo main titles have hippity-hopped their way across the screen, we are thrust right into the non-action as we join the J.N.F. (Junior Narc Force) keeping tabs on various gang members and trying to fathom their nefarious activities.  But they must deal with their own raging hormones as well, as Agent Tyler (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe) jealously observes her heartthrob, Agent Gary (a not-looking-too-good-these-days Edward Furlong), cavorting with a bikini babe.  It's all part of his cover, of course, but darn it, he just seems to be enjoying it a little too much.



Meanwhile, Agent Samantha (Nichole Hiltz) just failed her home pregnancy test, and isn't quite sure whether the father is Agent Danny (Eric Mabius), who wants to marry her, or good ol' Sergeant Mills, who just can't seem to keep his own member away from certain other members of the task force. 

These romantic entanglements play like a bad script from "Beverly Hills, 90210" performed by a grade school theater group, and the scenes of actual detective work that we witness from time to time seem to have been inspired by random episodes of "Scooby-Doo."  They even have their own mystery-mobile, a candy-apple red, mid-60s Mustang convertible, in which they all sit in broad daylight brandishing their guns as if to announce to any passing bad guys, "Yes, we are undercover narcs." 

Amazingly, though, no one ever figures this out, except for a mysterious figure who seems to anticipate their every move as he secretly watches them through blurry POV-shots like a stalker in a slasher flick, and, early in the story, actually kills one of them with his gold-plated revolver.  Who is this unknown enemy?  You're not supposed to know until the end, so try to act surprised.  Here's a hint:  it isn't the old caretaker at the haunted amusement park.

Director Eric DelaBarre is your basic point-and-shoot man but tries to "hip" things up with shaky camerawork, scattershot editing, and various other effects cribbed from music videos.  The acting, except from old pro Ed Lauter and Robert Rodriguez stock player Danny Trejo, is hopelessly amateurish, and the dialogue they're forced to recite is frequently laughable. 

This film resembles the kind of cheap exploitation flick they used to show on USA's "Up All Night" -- you know, the ones with all the good R-rated nudity and violence cut out and just the boring junk left in, although a few bare boobies make a cameo appearance about halfway through.  Soon after that we see a brief fistfight, and then later there's a small shootout, and at the end the mystery bad guy gets shot and a car blows up.  Actionwise, that's about it. 

I kept thinking about what Andy Sidaris, the guy responsible for all those great low-budget sex-and-violence thrillers like PICASSO TRIGGER and SAVAGE BEACH, could've done with a premise like this.  He wasn't a great filmmaker, but at least he gave us something fun to look at. VENICE UNDERGROUND barely even makes an effort.

 

VENICE UNDERGROUND -- Movie Review by Porfle

IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN -- Movie Review by Porfle

(Written for Bumscorner.com in 2005, this review was reposted here in 2011 in light of later events involving the film's writer-producer-director-star Joe Brooks.)


Joe Brooks has written some of the most successful and well-known commercial jingles of all time, including "You've got a lot to live, and Pepsi's got a lot to give" and many more that have probably been forever lodged in your memory over the years. At one point back in the 70s, he decided to try his hand as a songwriter-slash-Hollywood film auteur as well, resulting in the wildly successful YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE (both the song and the movie were huge hits).

Joe wrote, scored, produced, and directed the film, and actually won an Oscar and a Golden Globe for Best Original Song. With this remarkable debut under his belt, Joe set his sights even higher -- for his next trick, he would not only perform all the duties he had on his first film, but would star in it as well. And that, bad movie fans, is how IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN (1978) came to be.

This movie has to be seen to be believed. It fails miserably on every level. Fortunately, since Joe Brooks handled the production, direction, writing, music, and lead acting role himself, there are fewer people to blame for it.



As a romantic lead, he has about as much appeal as a potted plant. His leading lady, Shelley Hack, acts as though she were posing for the picture on front of a box of All Bran. The supporting players include, for some reason, authors Jimmy Breslin and George Plimpton, about whose acting the best thing that can be said is that they are good authors. It's pretty bad when the most professional acting performance in a movie is delivered by a little girl (Danielle Brisebois).

Joe plays a jingle writer named "Bob Morrison" who dreams of being a serious musician, even though all of his "serious" songs still sound like extended commercial jingles, and the classical piece he composes to show off his true talent later in the film would be better suited for a group of musical saw players than an actual orchestra. Watching his dramatic gestures as he conducts this ear-splitting opus in the recording studio, as the dazzled Shelley Hack grins at him like a stuffed loon, is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever filmed.

If this movie is indeed as autobiographical as we suspect it is, then this scene must be the realization of one of Joe Brooks' fondest fantasies -- having the girl of his dreams gaze at him with naked, worshipful awe as he lurches about among the musicians, grandly flailing his arms as if to literally mold the wafting notes into an aural work of art. Unfortunately, this piece of music is so badly arranged that it could make even the London Symphony Orchestra sound like a high school band at a pep rally.

And then, of course, there's the romance. When "Bob Morrison" makes the trip from New York to L.A. to pursue his musical ambitions, he also decides to look up his old college girlfriend (Shelley Hack's "Jennifer Corly") for whom he still carries a torch. When they are reunited, their scenes together generate all the excitement of sitting in a dentist's waiting room with nothing to read but a year-old copy of "Field And Stream." Shelley Hack, who proved later on to be a pretty good actress in certain roles, seems here to be hovering in and out of a coma. But it would be difficult even for a great actress to pretend that she was falling back in love with Joe Brooks' incredibly bland character, especially with the brain-numbing dialogue she must recite.



Music-wise, Joe was obviously hoping for another big chart-topper like "You Light Up My Life", but its inexplicable success was not to be matched by the cringe-inducing dirge that is this film's theme song. I don't know who performed it, but he doesn't sing it as much as he suffers through it. He seems to be battling his way through a particularly intense bout of constipation as he strains to expel the stomach-churning lyrics, though I doubt if even Debby Boone could've made this song any more tolerable.

The same singer also gets to croak the other big tune in the movie, "California", which is Joe's musical tribute to the state of the same name, but after hearing it you might get the impression that California is the most horrible place on Earth. A more upbeat version performed by a group of singers accompanies a scene of Joe traveling by plane, and sure enough, it looks and sounds just like an airline commercial. We see the plane banking off over the sunlit clouds as the song informs us: "Caaa-lifornia! Wherever you may roam! Californiaaa...is caaaa-lling you hoooome!" You almost expect to see the TWA logo pop onto the screen.

When I saw this movie on HBO several years ago, I just had to have it. I still watch my old tape every so often just to gape in wide-eyed amazement at how truly awful a movie can be. As a bad-movie lover, I hold this perversely-entertaining cinematic messterpiece in high esteem -- it's the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of romantic movies. Still, you gotta hand it to Joe Brooks -- he decided he wanted to make movies in the worst way, and he sure enough went out and done it.

IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN -- Movie Review by Porfle

OUTPOST EARTH -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/2/17

 

Remember that cool low-budget monster flick where the giant stop-motion-animated crab terrorized a small town? No, I'm not talking about one of the great black-and-white 50s classics, but 2015's QUEEN CRAB, which came as a welcome CGI-free throwback to the old days when filmmakers with limited resources were trying to make Ray Harryhausen movies.

Now, the same team behind that bundle of old-school fun is at it again, this time going the pulp sci-fi route with their alien invasion thriller OUTPOST EARTH (2016).

Human civilization gets destroyed during the opening titles in a scaled-down riff on INDEPENDENCE DAY by way of EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS, leaving a devasted dystopian world whose few human survivors are being hunted down by hostile aliens and their mutant mongrel pets.

 

Erin Waterhouse plays Kay, a bow-hunting babe with supermodel looks who encounters brash, wisecracking anti-hero Blake (Titus Himmelberger) while wandering the wasteland "hunting wabbits" and avoiding other hungry humans out for food.

After Blake saves her from some "goons" (slang for aliens) Kay invites him back to her hideout which she shares with naive sister Penny (Kristen Gylling), dour den-mother Kagen (Yolie Canales, QUEEN CRAB), and brilliant theoretical physicist Uncle Zayden (Mason Carver), a white-bearded egghead who's always in his makeshift lab trying to figure out what makes the aliens tick.

It takes Blake a while to gain the trust of the others, especially the skeptical Kagen.  But when Penny gets captured by a group of bad humans (including QUEEN CRAB's Ken Van Sant as the loathsome eye-patched Manny) he comes through during a daring rescue and then later discovers the secret to operating one of the crashed alien spacecraft (part of which involves getting really drunk).

 

OUTPOST EARTH plays a bit like a small-scale DAY OF THE DEAD (Uncle Zayden reminds me of that film's giddy scientist, Dr. Logan) and 50s classic THE DAY THE WORLD ENDED, both featuring the remnants of humanity battling outside forces from their secluded hideout. There's also a hint of the flash-forward scenes in THE TERMINATOR albeit much less populated. 

Locations are well-chosen for their desolate, bombed-out look, bringing to mind the final segment of "Threads."  Performances and dialogue are good and the characters are likable, particularly the two leads whom we just know will eventually form a twosome and help repopulate the Earth. 

But that's for later--in the meantime, it's interesting how writer-director Brett Piper (QUEEN CRAB, TRICLOPS, A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL) takes what is basically a James Cameron-level scenario and drastically scales it down while still coming up with something that's fun to watch.

 

Much of the fun, in fact, comes from seeing how he solves various SPFX challenges without simply being able to throw money at them.  This includes not only humanoid aliens in nifty masks and full-body suits, but a delightful array of stop-motion creatures, some of which do battle in the time-honored monster movie tradition. 

These SPFX remind one of such films as EQUINOX, THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER, and THE EVIL DEAD, along with the stop-motion creatures on the 70s Saturday morning series "Jason of Star Command." 

One humanoid mutant, who may or may not have once been human (he's played by Steve Diasparra in full body-suit before morphing into a towering animated behemoth), even resembles something out of those old Jack Kirby monster comics as well as KING KONG animator Willis O'Brien's sketches for his proposed KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN.

The film ends with a wild sequence involving Blake getting good and loaded (for the cause, of course), hopping into that crashed spacecraft with Kay, and making a daring attack run (aka "drunken joyride") on an alien outpost thought to be one of their main command centers.  The ending is left wide open for a sequel.

Despite the miniscule budget, OUTPOST EARTH is loaded with entertainment value--especially for us nostalgic Monster Kids--and intriguing elements of both serious and pulp sci-fi.  It's the kind of flick I used to run home from school to watch on the afternoon movie.

OUTPOST EARTH -- Movie Review by Porfle

All the Black Scorpion Scenes From "THE BLACK SCORPION" (1957) (video)

Richard Denning and Mara Corday star...

...in this Mexican-American giant monster extravaganza.

Legendary "King Kong" animator Willis O'Brien supervised the special effects.

His assistant, Pete Peterson, performed most of the actual stop-motion animation.
Peterson also worked on "Mighty Joe Young" and "The Giant Behemoth."

It is one of the most effects-intensive stop-motion animation films ever made...
...filled with detailed sets, multiple models, and inspired animation.

It is reminiscent of some of the most horrific scenes from "King Kong."
And also foretells some of the monster effects for "Starship Troopers."

The cavern sequence hints at what the "spider pit" scene in "King Kong" may have looked like.
Some of the models may, in fact, be left over from that scene.

The final monster vs. military battle is a SPFX spectacle...
...and ranks as one of the finest stop-motion sequences ever filmed.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

All the Black Scorpion Scenes From "THE BLACK SCORPION" (1957) (video)

QUEEN CRAB -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/23/15

 

"Let me get this straight--your best friend is a giant crab?"

Like one of those old Roger Corman B-movie creature features, or a giant-monster cheapie that wanted to use stop-motion animation for its oversized critters but couldn't afford to get Ray Harryhausen to do it (think MONSTER FROM GREEN HELL or CRATER LAKE MONSTER), the monster-movie spoof QUEEN CRAB (2015) is a giddy, goofy throwback to those hokey flicks we grew up eating TV dinners to.

The first "crab" we see is an ill-tempered young wife and mother who constantly berates her well-meaning but mischievous daughter Melissa and henpecks her nerdy scientist husband whose upstairs laboratory is home to experiments in unnatural animal growth.  While dancing around on the banks of Crabbe Creek Pond, Melissa finds and makes a pet of a small crab which she feeds with some strange berries grown in her father's lab.  You can pretty much guess what happens next.

Skip ahead a decade or two, and Melissa (Michelle Miller, who earlier played the part of Melissa's mother), orphaned by an unfortunate lab explosion, is now an eccentric trigger-happy hermit with an isolated cabin near Crabbe Creek Pond where she can commune with her crab-monster significant other, whom she has dubbed "Goliath."

But encroaching on her personal space are childhood friend Jennifer Kane (Kathryn Metz), now a Hollywood actress popping in for an unexpected visit, and state wildlife agent Stewart MacKendrick (A.J. DeLucia), drawn to the area after examining Sheriff Ray's plaster cast of a giant crab pincer print made at the scene of a cow-devouring. (It seems something really big and awfully hungry has been crashing through barn walls and chowing down on the local livestock.)

What really sets the colossal crustacean off, however, is when she pops out a passel of football-sized crab eggs that are shotgunned by Sally (Yolie Canales), another of the reclusive local loons who all seem to wield shotguns.  The eggs that actually hatch into little baby giant crabs are crunched by a recklessly driving  yokel who laughingly careens all over the highway while his terrified passenger, a woman he picked up after her own narrow escape from the creatures, screams in terror (one of my favorite scenes).

The caustic relationship between burly Sheriff Ray (Ken Van Sant), who raised niece Melissa after her parents' death, and boneheaded deputy Sonny Huggins (Rich Lounello) is also rife with lowbrow humor.  Some of it takes place in the town biker bar where Sonny picks a fight with Jennifer and, unaware that she has received martial arts training for one of her films, gets the old foot to the face until dizzy.

This comic interlude is interrupted, however, by the beginning of what will become a full-scale crab attack, which is when QUEEN CRAB really takes off.  Once Goliath goes into action, the fun barely lets up with a succession of stop-motion animation sequences that are a real treat to anyone who loves this particular medium and is a little tired of seeing nothing but CGI at every turn. 

While not exactly spectacular, the effects are smoothly executed and well integrated into the live action.  One particularly nice shot is when Melissa actually mounts Goliath and rides her "like a pony" as MacKendrick describes it.  It reminded me of one of those shows about a circus kid and their pet elephant.  Also impressive are some of the attack sequences with the crab pursuing her human prey and disposing of them in well-animated fashion.

There's even some nicely rendered miniature backgrounds, model vehicles (including a jeep and an army tank), and a couple of jet planes that dive bomb the creek where Sheriff Ray and a well-armed local militia (called into service with the promise of something to shoot at like they're never seen before) have the Queen Crab cornered.

The acting ranges from serviceable to pretty good, with even the lesser-skilled non-thespians in the cast managing to be rather amusing.  (I like the guy who plays the mechanic filling in for the bartender and getting everyone's drinks wrong.  The guy can't act but he's still funny.)  Prolific schlock filmmaker Brett Piper (TRICLOPS, A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL) handles the technical end of things well enough and knows how to direct this kind of hokey material.

The DVD from Wild Eye Releasing is in widescreen with 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  Extras include a commentary with director Piper and producer Mark Polonia, a blooper reel, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and trailers for this and other Wild Eye releases including some of Piper's other films. 

It's definitely lightweight stuff and it isn't likely to win many awards, but QUEEN CRAB is the kind of movie that intentionally tries to be "so bad it's good" and actually succeeds.  Although don't be surprised if you pop it into the DVD player and then end up watching it alone after the unenlightened have fled the scene.

QUEEN CRAB -- DVD Review by Porfle

Classic Kirk Douglas Scene: 3 Slaps, You're Out (IN HARM'S WAY, 1965) (video)

 Here's a powerful scene from Kirk Douglas' performance in the WWII classic IN HARM'S WAY.

Commander Owynn (Patrick O'Neal) and his aide Lt. Jere Torrey (Brandon De Wilde)...

...are sneaky undercover informants for an inept admiral (Dana Andrews).

Capt. Eddington (Kirk Douglas) is determined to get rid of them.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Classic Kirk Douglas Scene: 3 Slaps, You're Out (IN HARM'S WAY, 1965) (video)

THE BIRDS (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/9/15

 

The Alfred Hitchcock classic THE BIRDS (1963) shows us how vulnerable we'd be if our little feathered friends suddenly started attacking us en masse for no discernible reason.
 
Long, talky stretches with no music (electronic bird noises take the place of an actual score) lull the viewer into a sense of normalcy that is suddenly shattered by the bloody, violent, and shocking (especially for the time) bird attacks. 

We also get the sense that all of the interpersonal drama between the humans ultimately means nothing in the face of nature's indiscriminate wrath. 

There's a coy will-they-won't-they romance between seemingly aloof jetsetter Melanie Daniels ("Tippi" Hedren) and down-to-earth Mitch Brenner (Rod Taylor), who lives with his nervous mother (Jessica Tandy) and sweet-tempered little sister Cathy (Veronica Cartwright) in the sleepy coastal town of Bodega Bay.  Former lover Annie Hayworth (Suzanne Pleshette), the town's schoolteacher, adds a touch of melancholy by still carrying a smoldering torch for Mitch.

Melanie follows Mitch home from San Francisco one day to deliver some lovebirds to Cathy for her birthday--an elaborate practical joke that demonstrates her impulsive nature and lack of responsibilities.  She will mature before our eyes during the oncoming ordeal, befriending both Cathy and Annie and becoming a worthy match for Mitch even in the eyes of his clinging, judgmental mother.

But none of this matters when the birds attack, except to increase the stakes for Melanie and Mitch who now have more to live for.  Melanie risks her own life without hesitation to help a class full of children escape when a flock of crows descend upon their school, while Mitch will perform heroically during the grueling nighttime siege upon their boarded-up house. 

Both episodes are Hitchcock at his most relentlessly cinematic.  Hitchcock builds suspense masterfully in these and other memorable sequences and delivers the occasional jolt, such as the startling discovery of a bloody victim in his bedroom.

Melanie's attic ordeal in which she suddenly becomes engulfed in a mass of ripping beaks and claws is Hitchcock's attempt to duplicate the shower scene from PSYCHO, to lesser but still impressive effect. (I love the fact that right before she passes out, the once vain and selfish Melanie mutters "Where's Cathy?")

His direction falls short only when the execution fails to match his ideas.  As in the horse-jumping sequence from MARNIE, also starring Hedren, Hitchcock's mental storyboards and creative fancy don't always transfer to film as intended. 

This is true mainly in a series of static closeups of Hedren intercut with a trail of burning gasoline leading up to a horrific gas station explosion.  Earlier, a process shot in which she sits in a rowboat in front of a Bodega Bay backdrop is fake-looking enough (on the big screen, anyway) to evoke laughter in audiences. 

Most of the time, however, Hitchcock proves himself to be one of the most brilliant film stylists of all time with one impressive sequence after another.  The attacks on the school and town are sudden, chaotic, and disorienting.  Jessica Tandy's discovery of the dead neighbor with the pecked-out eyes is a high point of horror, mainly in the way the director leads up to the reveal for maximum shock value. 

With Mitch's family and Melanie barricaded inside the Brenner house awaiting the most intensive attack of all, the final segment of the film is both harrowing and riveting.  It's also a clear influence on George Romero's 1968 zombie classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, including the idea of a sudden and unexplained rash of attacks upon humanity that force groups of people to seek shelter and wait in fear of an unknown, incomprehensible menace. 

The fact that these attacks are never explained helps to give THE BIRDS the feeling of a nightmare, perhaps moreso than any other Hitchcock film.  Its enigmatic, inconclusive ending, criticized by some, is Hitchcock's own Mona Lisa smile, hinting that a little mystery--along with a nasty little jolt now and then--is good for the soul.

Trailer
Hitchcock teaser trailer

THE BIRDS (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Don Sullivan's 3 Classic Songs In "GIANT GILA MONSTER" (1959) (video)

Everyone knows about Don Sullivan's classic "Mushroom Song."

But he also sings a snappy acapella love ballad...

...and a mystery single that rocks a teen dance hop.

Still, it's the undying classic "Mushroom Song" for which Don will always be remembered.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Don Sullivan's 3 Classic Songs In "GIANT GILA MONSTER" (1959) (video)

Goofy G-Force Grimace In 1950s-60s Space Movies (video)

 

Space movies in the 1950s-60s speculated on what futuristic space travel would be like.

One of the most common features of these movies was the ever-popular "G-Force Grimace."

As a kid I could never figure out why they all made those weird girning faces during take-off.

ROCKETSHIP XM (1950)
DESTINATION MOON (1950)
PROJECT MOONBASE (1953)
CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON (1953)
CONQUEST OF SPACE (1955)
MISSILE TO THE MOON (1958)
12 TO THE MOON (1960)


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Goofy G-Force Grimace In 1950s-60s Space Movies (video)

MEMORIAL DAY (2011) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Some war flicks serve up non-stop, blazing battle action for us to pound down popcorn by, while others are dark political nightmares that have us suffering the existential horror of it all.  And then there's MEMORIAL DAY (2011), the kind of war movie that just wants to get inside some soldiers' heads for awhile.

While Staff Sergeant Kyle Vogel (Jonathan Bennett) serves in Iraq, his experiences keep drawing him back to a lazy Memorial Day in 1993 when, as a 13-year-old boy in Minnesota, he found his grandfather's WWII footlocker filled with "souvenirs."  Bud Vogel (James Cromwell) tells Kyle to put it back, but the boy insists on hearing some of the old man's war stories.  Bud makes a deal--three items, three stories, and if Kyle behaves like a man, Bud will talk to him like one.

That special afternoon between Bud and Kyle on the porch, embued with all the golden-hued notalgia of a lemonade commercial, is the heart of MEMORIAL DAY, when the mentally failing old man recalls his precious stories one last time for the boy who is now mature enough to appreciate them.  Kyle's first choice, naturally, is a pistol, but rather than yielding a tale of daring adventure it takes the old man back to one of those days that still haunts him deep in his soul. 

 

 

 
All of the action we see during these flashbacks is peripheral to such emotional trauma, with soldiers such as Bud not only losing beloved comrades but sharing moments of grief and anguish with the enemy as well.  A battle in a Belgian forest in '44 serves mainly to establish the bond between the men involved (along with how Bud happened to get shrapnel from a potato masher in his butt), while another confrontation ends with Bud losing his best friend via an almost anticlimactic final shot.

Director Samuel Fischer handles the WWII sequences in a more traditional style than the "Saving Private Ryan"/"Band of Brothers" look we expect nowadays.  The latter is used during the present-day Kyle's day-to-day experiences in Anbar Province, Iraq, which are also shown to consist of long periods of dull drudgery and mounting tension punctuated by moments of horror and chaos.  

Again, the brief battle scenes are practically beside the point, and one mission to capture a terrorist leader, which is given considerable build-up, is aborted before it begins.

 

 

When a shrapnel injury lands him in the hospital, a sympathetic nurse (Emily Fradenburgh) allows Kyle to wax reminiscent himself, his stories often containing parallels to those of his grandfather as he harkens back to that long-ago Memorial Day.  

 Thus, we learn that a soldier's life is pretty much the same no matter the time or place, with the emotional significance of an event taking precedence over anything else.

Cromwell, who by now could probably play a part like this in his sleep, gives his usual sturdy performance as old Bud, while his son John plays the younger version in flashbacks.  The fact that John looks and sounds so much like his old man, in addition to being a pretty good actor himself, gives these scenes added authenticity.  As the older Kyle, Jonathan Bennett underplays enough to come across as a regular guy. 

 

 

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  Extras consist of a commentary from director, producer, and actor John Cromwell, and a very brief behind-the-scenes short.

If you're expecting lots of action, be prepared to spend a leisurely afternoon on the porch with Grandpa during much of MEMORIAL DAY, which lives up to its title in a wistful, contemplative, and melancholy way.  This is the story of everyday soldiers doing a job which, at times, happens to exact an overwhelming emotional toll that stays with them for the rest of their lives.  

However, chances are that this well-meaning but ultimately rather bland movie won't affect you nearly that long, because although it does what it sets out to do fairly well, it never comes close to the kind of emotional crescendo that it labors to achieve.

MEMORIAL DAY (2011) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Risque' Lingerie Scene in "WHITE ZOMBIE" (1932) Madge Bellamy, Bela Lugosi (video)

Risque' Lingerie Scene in "WHITE ZOMBIE" (1932) 
Madge Bellamy, Bela Lugosi

In "White Zombie", Madge Bellamy appears in a lingerie scene that is quite daring for 1932.

It's brief, but memorable. 


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Risque' Lingerie Scene in "WHITE ZOMBIE" (1932) Madge Bellamy, Bela Lugosi (video)

When Ava Gardner Co-Starred With The East Side Kids ("Ghosts On The Loose", 1943) (video)

This East Side Kids comedy was Ava Gardner's first credited role.

She played "Betty", bride of Rick Vallin and sister of "Glimpy" (Huntz Hall).

Ava grew up on a North Carolina tobacco farm, the youngest of seven children.

She got her first break in Hollywood on the strength of a single portrait...
...in the window of a photographic studio.

Ava was once dubbed "The World's Most Beautiful Animal" in a publicity campaign.
A director once gushed, "She can't talk, she can't act, she's sensational!"

By 1945 she smoked three packs of cigarettes a day...
...and was known for her drinking and salty language.

She was married to Frank Sinatra, Artie Shaw, and Mickey Rooney.

She was nominated for Best Actress for "Mogambo" in 1953.
And later won critical praise for her role in "Night of the Iguana."

Ava died of pneumonia in 1990 at age 67.

Her last words were: "I'm so tired."


Factoids by IMDb
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

When Ava Gardner Co-Starred With The East Side Kids ("Ghosts On The Loose", 1943) (video)

Bela Lugosi At His Nicest! ("Invisible Ghost", 1941)(video)

Bela Lugosi At His Nicest!

Bela shows what a really, really sweet guy he could be in this one.

"APPLE pie? My, dat VILL be a treat!"


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Bela Lugosi At His Nicest! ("Invisible Ghost", 1941)(video)

Title Role Recast Mid-Scene in "Return of the Ape Man" (1944) (video)

Actor George Zucco, as "The Ape Man", received third billing after Bela Lugosi and John Carradine.

But a sudden illness (or, perhaps, second thoughts) made him drop out before a single scene was completed.

It begins with two brief shots of Zucco on the table. 

Then Zucco is replaced mid-scene by actor Frank Moran.  

Read our review of the film HERE.
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Title Role Recast Mid-Scene in "Return of the Ape Man" (1944) (video)

Legendary "King Kong" Volkswagen Ad (1972): Stop-Motion Animation By Dave Allen (video)

(Originally posted on 10/6/18)

 

Dave Allen was one of film's leading stop-motion animators.

His work can be seen in such films as "The Crater Lake Monster", "Equinox", and "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids."

In 1972 Volkswagen hired him to recreate the classic King Kong for a TV commercial.

The woman is Fay Wray's daughter, Victoria Riskin.

The commercial was aired only once.

Volkswagen pulled it because viewers didn't remember the car...just Kong.
(I got to see it!) 


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Legendary "King Kong" Volkswagen Ad (1972): Stop-Motion Animation By Dave Allen (video)

All the Killer Shrews Scenes In "THE KILLER SHREWS" (1959) (video)

(SPOILERS)

Ken Curtis produced both this and "The Giant Gila Monster" in 1959.

Both were filmed outside of Dallas, TX.

A frequent John Wayne co-star, Curtis would gain fame as Festus in "Gunsmoke."
Director Ray Kellogg would co-direct "The Green Berets" with John Wayne.

James Best would find TV fame in "The Dukes Of Hazzard."
Ingrid Goude was Miss Sweden of 1956.
Baruch Lamet was the father of director Sidney Lumet.

The "killer shrews" were actually dogs wearing long hair and fangs.


(Read our review of the movie HERE!)


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

All the Killer Shrews Scenes In "THE KILLER SHREWS" (1959) (video)

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em ("FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE", 1956) (video)

 

For those of you who go in for drinking games, here's one...

Take a drink every time one of these low-rent astronauts lights up a cigarette.

With all the butts being lit up in this flick, you'll be blotto in no time!



I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em ("FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE", 1956) (video)

The Classic Party Scene From "Dead Kids" (aka "Strange Behavior") 1981 (video)

 

As "Strange Behavior", this intensely atmospheric horror flick was a Cinemax fave.

Years later we got to review it under its original title, "Dead Kids", and it seemed better than ever. 

The cast is amazing, including Dan Shor ("Tron"), Marc McClure ("Superman"), Dey Young, Louise Fletcher ("One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"), Fiona Lewis ("The Fury"), and Michael Murphy ("MASH"). 

Here's the classic party scene which features the song "Lightning Strikes Again" by Lou Christie.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

The Classic Party Scene From "Dead Kids" (aka "Strange Behavior") 1981 (video)

Skelton Knaggs At His Most Endearing ("Isle Of The Dead", 1945) (video)

 

Skelton Knaggs usually played bad guys...

...and/or nutjobs, largely because of his rather unpleasant looks and creepy demeanor.

But in Val Lewton's 1945 classic "Isle of the Dead", in all-too-brief a role, Skelton gets to play a fellow so quietly endearing that you just wanna give him a hug.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

Skelton Knaggs At His Most Endearing ("Isle Of The Dead", 1945) (video)

HARD REVENGE MILLY -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 5/13/10

 

(This double-feature DVD contains HARD REVENGE MILLY and HARD REVENGE MILLY: BLOODY BATTLE.) 

 

Milly wears a black leather trenchcoat to conceal the patchwork ruin of her ravaged body, and walks stiffly due to all of its robotic enhancements--including a shotgun embedded in her right leg that loads at the hip and fires at the knee, and a horrendous razor-edged rig that sprouts from her torso which, thank goodness, we never quite get a good look at. 

She moves quickly and purposefully, preparing a bloody revenge against the thugs who massacred her family and left her for dead two years before. And when the blood-drenched hyper-action of HARD REVENGE MILLY (2008) kicks into high gear, it's a clear case of love at first sight for this giddy viewer. 

After the repeal of all gun and sword laws, Yokohama, Japan 20XX A.D. is a wasteland of crime and violence where murder is sport and only the strong survive. Milly (Miki Mizuno, CARVED: THE SLIT-MOUTHED WOMAN) gets by on nothing more than the desire for revenge against the loathesome Jack Brothers, whose sadistic thrill-murder of her husband and baby grows more horrific with each flashback. 

We never get a good look when she opens her jacket but it must be pretty messed-up, especially after we see her being brutally stabbed 20 or 30 times, and the extent of her surgical body modification is suggested rather shockingly during the finale. 

Milly is an interesting character who's fun to watch, even if she's just preparing for her next duel or sitting somewhere reflecting on the past. Her meeting with former blade-sharpener Jubei in his dingy coffee bar, whom she asks to sharpen her retractable elbow-sword although he's retired from the death business, echoes Beatrix' meeting with Hattori Hanzo in KILL BILL. 

All of the performances are fine, with Miki Mizuno and Mitsuki Koga as Jack being the stand-outs. In a cool opening sequence, Milly makes short work of Jack's drug-dealing brother Kyoshiro (splitting his torso with a bloody flash of her elbow sword), uses his body to create a grotesque welcoming display, and gives Jack a call inviting him to drop by. 

When the surviving Jack Brothers arrive and encounter her in an abandoned building, it's one thrilling action-packed death duel after another. The dialogue leading up to this is funny as male and female Jack Brothers Tetsu and Yuma discuss how hungry they are after getting a whiff of Kyoshiro's roasting corpse on their way in. After that comes what is now one of my favorite death scenes ever--it's so cool that I found it wonderfully hilarious in its offhand audacity. 

Milly's fight with Jack himself is an extended setpiece that yields a wealth of pleasures--their climactic clash of swords, guns, fists, and other arcane weaponry is dazzling. Takanori Tsujimoto's direction and editing are exquisite, and like the rest of the sublimely-staged action in this film it's executed with such imagination and style that watching it made me giddy. The furious choreography is first-rate considering that no doubles are used, and even the wirework is convincingly handled. 

This is low-budget filmmaking driven by skill, creativity, and imagination to exceed its limitations and become a unique and scintillating entertainment that's every bit as satisfying as any multi-million-dollar production. Short and sweet (only 44 minutes long), it left me keen with anticipation for the feature-length follow-up. 

HARD REVENGE MILLY: BLOODY BATTLE (2009) takes up where the previous film left off, with Milly now being hunted by Jack's bombastic gay lover Ikki (Kazuki Tsujimoto) and his accomplice Hyuma (Ray Fujita). "Jack was the craziest, sexiest man in the world!" Ikki declares as they plot their revenge. 

Meanwhile, a timid young woman named Haru (Nao Nagasawa) has sought out Milly for a different purpose--to help her get revenge against the person who killed her lover. When they're both attacked in Milly's warehouse hideout (in the film's first bloody action scene), Milly takes the injured Haru to a fortified outpost called LAND to be treated by the same crazy doctor who delights in keeping Milly's mechanically-enhanced body in working order ("Don't let any other doctor touch that thing in your chest," he urges). Milly empathizes with Haru and agrees to help her, but this must be postponed when Ikki and his gang of killers invade LAND and launch a blazing attack. 

With more time to develop the story and characters, writer-director Takanori Tsujimoto gives us more to contemplate while ratcheting up the action factor. The quiet moments are effective, such as Milly's melancholy reflections to Haru on the futility of revenge. Often the film looks and feels the way BLADE RUNNER might've been if Ridley Scott had done it as a no-budget indie feature. (Like certain characters in Scott's film, part-machine Milly begins to doubt the validity of her own memories; she won't let the doctor X-ray her head for fear of what he might find.) There are also welcome hints of such films as MAD MAX and THE CROW. 

The script is brimming with interesting dialogue and the performances are outstanding. Again, the stunning and intricately choreographed (not to mention delightfully gory) fight sequences are bristling with imagination and the execution is often breathtaking. Takanori Tsujimoto keeps coming up with interesting ways to shoot and edit these scenes and introduces some thrilling variations on traditional weapons--I was on the verge of cheering when Milly went up against a horde of bad guys with her laser-sighted, bullet-spewing nunchaku. 

As in the first film, there's a climactic battle with the baddest bad guy that's a free-for-all of frenetic fun, ending with another of my new all-time favorite multi-rewindable death scenes. (This one's a real doozy, folks.) There's even a surprising story twist that (hopefully) sets up the next sequel. 

The double-feature DVD from Well Go USA, Inc. is in 16:9 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 stereo. Soundtrack is Japanese with English subtitles. Extras include trailers and "making of" featurettes for both films. 

Visually interesting throughout, with an involving story and vivid characters, HARD REVENGE MILLY: BLOODY BATTLE is compelling sci-fi on a limited budget. It definitely gets a permanent spot in my DVD collection, in that special place where nobody can walk off with it and the dog won't eat it. I love this movie. 

 

HARD REVENGE MILLY -- DVD Review by Porfle