42nd St Pete Reviews Crap That Makes Him Want To Rip His Eyes Out: 100 Million BC, Feast 2, and Hell Ride

Some Reviews on some current stuff that is just a waste of electricity

100 Million BC 2008 Asylum Home Entertainment Starring Michael Gross, Greg Evigan, & Christopher Atkins. Directed by Louie Myman

Time travel epic with an elite team sent back in time to retrieve another team that was sent back in the 40’s . Premise is good, but the bad CG stuff kills it. Raptors attack and kill most of the rescue team. The T-Rex is red and Michael Gross looks pretty gross with his balding head covered with liver spots. Guess the budget didn’t allow for make up.

The 40’s women have 2000 style enhanced boobage, the CG stuff sucks and nobody noticed a bright red T-Rex roaming around LA at night. Christopher Atkins seems to be a fixture in these crappy films as of late.





Hell Ride 2008 from Dimension Extreme Starring David Carradine, Dennis Hopper, Larry Bishop & Vinnie Jones. Directed by Larry Bishop. Presented by Quentin Tarentino.

OK, in the Grindhouse scheme of things, biker films were low on the Richter scale. Most weren’t that good and if someone was going to write a book on that genre , it would be about 50 pages. The good ones were The Wild One, The Wild Angels, The Losers , Hells Angels ‘69 & Stone Cold. The rest pretty much sucked.

So now we get another QT presents 90 minutes worth of BS. A threadbare plot, a treasure that we never see, throat slashings, immolation's, sluts, shooting, and no freaking plot to go with them. This played for two whole days in my area before it was yanked because no one gave a shit. You would think with all the money Grindhouse lost that someone would reign QT in a bit. Hopper & Carradine seem to be there for name value as Carradine dies rather quickly. Total waste in my estimation.






Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds Starring Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, & Diane Ayala Goldner. Directed by John Gulager. From Dimension Extreme.

I did have high hopes for this as I really liked the first one. Now this is being billed as a new “classic” horror series. Someone better look up the definition of classic because this isn’t it. Two survivors from # 1, the Bartender & Honey Pie are now holding off the CG monsters in a small town with an all girl biker gang, two midget wrestlers, and some other disposable characters. This plays out like a video game and that seems to be it’s target audience.

Some of it is funny, most of it sucks, especially the “autopsy” scene were people puke, get slimed, and get ejaculated upon. Yeah, you read right, the dead monster’s Ron Jeremy like wazoo winds up all over the cast. I could read into something here, but I won’t .Highlights are a baby getting eaten, a monster screw a cat, Clu beating the shit out of Honey Pie for running off in the first film, a dissolving old lady, and more slimy, pukey, fluids than an Annie Sprinkle porn film.

Obviously this film has an audience, but I’m not in it.

42nd St Pete Reviews Crap That Makes Him Want To Rip His Eyes Out: 100 Million BC, Feast 2, and Hell Ride

Warner Brothers Presents Scoopy Doo: Where Are You Volume 2 on DVD

Let's face it fining children's programing to watch on a trip that is tolerable for both the child and the adult passengers can be a pain sometimes. Luckily, Warner Brothers comes through with 4 classic episodes from the 1970s Hanna-Barbra classic Scooby Doo: Where Are You? Scooby Doo is a show that both young and old can enjoy with it's perfect mix of humor, scares, and fun. Thus Scooby Doo Volume 2 makes the perfect thing to watch when taking a trip in the car or when you are just watching the kids at home. Volume 2 contains the Decoy for a Dognapper, What the Hex is Going On?, Never Ape an Ape Man, and Foul Play in Funland. There is also a bonus episode from the Shaggy & Scooby Doo Get a Clue series. All the episodes are the original versions and in the proper full frame aspect ratio and look and sound great. The total running time is about 88 minutes making it a comprable experience to watching a regular movie for children, but for the adult not feeling like your brain is melting from within because it's Shrek. So if you have kids or are just a fan of Scooby Doo, than this new WB Kids release is the perfect pick up for both young and old.

Warner Brothers Presents Scoopy Doo: Where Are You Volume 2 on DVD

First Blood Short Review

I just saw it again for the first time since I think I was 9 or 10.

First Blood was excellent. I never appreciated Richard Crenna character much the first time as I did this time. He did a great job with the role (the interaction with the civilians and his distrust and dislike of them, and his connection to Rambo almost as a father figure). I suspect that the fact he didn't do that much (as I interpreted the character when I was younger) is the reason I wasn't impressed the first time around. Also considering even the first time I had actually seen the imitation's before the original, may not have helped.

Still I always wondered how did Trautman first learn about Rambo's escape and what drove him to come? Is it discussed in the book at all?

The strangest thing about the whole movie is just how Stallone really is a man who wants to be left alone and doesn't truly relish in what he does. It's a powerful tale of disaffection and alienation. The 'switch' description Rambo gives is quite apt. It's a violent action film that at the same times is disgusted with the violence. Stallone does a great job with the role as it requires dialog at certain key moments, but is almost a mute role. Even with the almost anti-violence vibe of the film, you still cheer for Rambo or as I do the the involuntary yes hand movement, like when he escapes the police station. It truly is the best of the series and really different than the series as a whole.

I don't think I really need to go on about how amazing Jerry Goldsmiths music is. Brian D. turns in a nice performance too as the lead 'villain'. One thing thats nice is Rambo's destruction visually stays with the viewer (most of the wide shots and even some closeups show fires burning in the background from the gas station explosion. It's a very well shot film in terms of cinematography.

In short, First Blood is just an excellent film.

First Blood Short Review