SINFONIA EROTICA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 3/23/18

 

Spanish director Jess Franco burned his way through cinema like a fuse, voracious and volatile, leaving the ashes of his endeavor in his wake for us to sift through.

Much of it is of mere passing note to me, interesting only to see what such a prolific filmmaker produces when free to work fast and furious and pour out his id on film with little or no restraint.
 
But with this outpouring comes the occasional work that demands my attention and admiration (VAMPYROS LESBOS, SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY, COUNT DRACULA), and one such example is his 1980 anti-romantic, anti-erotic sexual nightmare SINFONIA EROTICA (Severin Films), based upon the writings of the Marquis de Sade. 

Franco's real-life love and muse Lina Romay (THE HOT NIGHTS OF LINDA, PAULA-PAULA) plays Martine de Bressac, returning home after months of confinement to a sanitarium by her husband, the Marqués Armando de Bressac (Armando Borges).

During her absence Armando has acquired and become addicted to a seductive, effeminate male lover named Flor (Mel Rodrigo), both of whom taunt and torture poor Martine with their flagrant contempt for both her emotional needs and urgent sexual desires.

Norma (Susan Hemingway), a timid young escapee from a nunnery, is found lying unconscious on the grounds during one of Armando and Flor's nature romps, and is taken in to become a part of their cruel sexual games. 

She ends up falling in love with Flor, and the two of them plan to not only aid in Armando's plan to murder Martine but to then get rid of Armando himself, leaving them free to run away together. Martine's only allies during all this are a sympathetic maid and a psychiatrist who may or may not believe her story.

Needless to say, SINFONIA EROTICA belies its opulent Victorian romance novel setting--Franco shot it in Portugal using gorgeous mansion interiors and magnificent exterior locations--with fervid, disturbing images of mental and physical cruelty in the form of ugly, non-erotic sex. 

When Franco makes a sex movie instead of a horror movie, the sex seems to replace the horror, or rather it becomes another kind of horror, of a deeper and more Freudian kind.

Here, he gives us a perversely erotic thriller that hates sex even as it's preoccupied with exploring Lina Romay's offbeat beauty and ample breasts as well as showing various joyless lovers rutting like animals in scenes that waver between softcore and hardcore action.

Although involved in several projects at the time (including THE SADIST OF NOTRE DAME and TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES), Franco seems neither rushed nor slapdash here, despite his usual shakily handheld camera. 

He lingers over his finely-rendered, sometimes impressionistic imagery as though following a deeply-pondered train of thought, and many of the shots are arranged with both a painter's sensibilities and a perceptive filmmaker's orchestration of character and movement.

Romay is at her best as Martine, looking strangely enticing at all times while also surrendering to the role with an intensity that evokes excitement and sympathy for her character. 

As Armando, Borges plays the heartless cad to a tee, relishing his own sadistic impulses which will eventually include coldblooded murder, which Franco depicts in non-graphic yet chilling style.

But the lack of graphic violence is made up for by the horrific depiction of sex and sexual desire as a Freudian nightmare that leads to madness when infused with malevolence and perversion.

Severin's Blu-ray disc (also available in DVD) is a 4k restoration of an uncut 35mm print which is the only known copy of this cut to exist.  There are some rough spots here and there, but, as I've often said, I prefer for a wizened exploitation print such as this to look like it's been around the block a few times. Otherwise, picture quality is fine. The soundtrack is in Spanish with English captions.

The visually rich fever dream that is SINFONIA EROTICA draws us into Martine's dark, corrupting psycho-sexual ordeal and has its way with us until somebody dies.
 

Special Features:
Jess Franco On First Wife Nicole Guettard – Interview With Director Jess Franco
Stephen Thrower On Sinfonia Erotica – Interview With The Author Of ‘Murderous Passions – The Delirious Cinema Of Jesus Franco’

SINFONIA EROTICA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 11/9/2019

 

I was never a fan of "China Beach", but after taking a long look at Time-Life's CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES (1988-1991), I can only conclude that those who are fans will have a field day with this lavish 19-disc collection of 62 episodes, including the original pilot movie and over five hours of bonus features.

The show's premise, of course, is the odyssey of U.S. Army Nurse Colleen McMurphy (Dana Delany, TOMBSTONE) serving a frantic tour of duty at a combination evac hospital and R&R facility set on a picturesque beach near Da Nang in Viet Nam.

Thus we observe the daily dramas of all the nurses, doctors, soldiers, Red Cross volunteers, and various civilian personnel, most of which are based on the real-life experiences of actual people.  (Not the least of these being former nurse Lynda Van Devanter, whose book "Home Before Morning" was the inspiration for the McMurphy character and her story.)

The show's setting is richly authentic, managing to give those of us with no such experience whatsoever an idea of what life was like there. McMurphy's days and nights are filled with the blood, horror, and tragedy of war, yet she must try to keep herself grounded by maintaining some semblance of normality in her personal life and dealings with friends and coworkers.

We also meet a widely-diverse cast of characters including Dr. Dick Richards (Robert Picardo, "Star Trek: Voyager"), whose playboy lifestyle helps him deal with a deteriorating marriage; SP4 Samuel Beckett (Michael Boatman), who processes dead bodies and thus has a unique perspective on mortality; and Red Cross volunteer Cherry White (Nan Woods), a painfully naive young woman searching for her MIA brother, Rick.

Local prostitute K.C (a stunning Marg Helgenberger, "CSI") is basically there to leech off the servicemen but eventually forms a meaningful relationship with Corporal "Boonie" Boonwell (Brian Wimmer), China Beach's lifeguard and recreation manager.  We also get to know enigmatic recon operative Sgt. Evan "Dodger" Winslow (Jeff Kober, THE BABY DOLL MURDERS), trying to hold onto his humanity after having served in the jungle for too long.

Like "M*A*S*H" before it, everyday moments of happiness or strife are often interrupted by either a sudden influx of wounded G.I.s or harrowing enemy attacks, the worst being an intense episode which occurs during the TET offensive. 

For me, these segments represent "China Beach" at its most compelling. I find it least interesting when it lapses into soap opera, concentrates too much on characters such as USO singer Laurette Barber (Chloe Webb), whom I found obnoxious, or borders on the morally ambiguous, as when McMurphy allows a Viet Cong patient who blew up several G.I.s in a bar to go free and perhaps kill again simply because she feels sorry for her.

The show also tends, in my opinion, to come off as rather sanctimonious, as though basking in its own nobility for being so lavishly well-intentioned. Other viewers, I happily concede, may not get this impression at all.

Indeed, being quite aware of the immense and generally well-deserved popularity of the show, I can heartily recommend CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES to those devoted fans who will fully appreciate having all 62 episodes (not to mention the wealth of featurettes, commentaries, interviews, and bonus booklets) in their DVD collection.

CHINA BEACH: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/7/16

 

For his debut feature film, Frank Darabont burst out of the starting gate with a vengeance by directing one of the most beloved American classics of modern film as well as writing the screenplay.

When I first heard that a movie was being made from Stephen King's novella "Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption" I figured that the short, somewhat sketchy story would have to be heavily padded out to make an entire feature. Darabont proved otherwise by augmenting King's prison yarn in ways that were a deeply satisfying enhancement to the original material, and then turning THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994) into an engrossing, visually and emotionally rich cinematic experience that few who have seen it will ever forget.

The story involves a brilliant young banker named Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) unjustly convicted and sentenced to life for the murder of his wife and her lover. Aging lifer Red (Morgan Freeman) gradually forms a grudging respect for Andy due to his quiet perserverance and refusal to be cowed or dehumanized by the prison system, which is embodied by a hypocritical warden (Bob Gunton as Warden Norton) and the brutally sadistic guard Capt. Hadley (Clancy Brown).

Andy becomes an invaluable resource to his jailers when he starts doing their tax returns for them and helping the warden launder all the money he's skimming from various illegal endeavors. But whenever he steps out of line by asserting his basic humanity, he's slapped down hard. This comes to a head when a new inmate (Gil Bellows) who may have information about the true killer of Andy's wife is murdered by the warden and Hadley.

After this, it appears as though Andy, who has become something of a heroic inspiration to his fellow convicts, has finally been beaten down and demoralized. There even comes a point in which they and we fear he's on the verge of suicide.

But the beleagered and embittered Andy Dufresne has a trump card up his sleeve, one which he's been holding for several years until just the right time to play it. And when he does, it leads to one of cinema's most dazzling and satisfying examples of comeuppance and righteous revenge, not to mention the exhilarating redemption promised by the title.

Proving himself a consummate screen artist, Darabont presents this story with the richest period production design and cinematography that the viewer could wish for and populating it with a cast filled with great A-list and character actors, each of whom seems inspired by his role.

Robbins is keenly attuned to what makes Andy Dufresne tick, letting us see both the sharply-perceptive intellect and deep emotions beneath the character's sometimes aloof manner. As Red, Freeman (whose character provides the film's soulful narration) expresses wisdom, melancholy, and an aching remorse for the crime he committed as a youth, and we're glad when Andy is able to instill in him--as well as the other prisoners--a feeling of hope after years of despair.

Darabont contrasts this with the frequent brutality of prison life, including Andy being beaten and raped by the monstrous Bogs (Mark Rolston of ALIENS and ERASER) and "The Sisters" while being subjected to lengthy stays in solitary confinement whenever he courts the warden's displeasure. A particularly sad interlude occurs when an old, institutionalized con named Brooks (played by the great James Whitmore) is released against his wishes and finds himself half a century behind the times in a world that's completely alien to him.

 

Yet even at its darkest THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION doesn't revel in graphic violence or ugliness for its own sake. Darabont displays admirable taste and restraint, relying on his rock-solid screenplay to convey what is needed while filming it in a beautifully classical, deliberate style that takes its time and eschews such things as shaky-cam and attention-deficit editing.

The actual prison location is remarkable. The abandoned complex, filmed shortly before a date with the wrecking ball, looks almost like a medieval castle, while Darabont's team has worked their movie magic with the interiors. The vast, specially-built cell block that houses our main characters is worthy of a Ken Adam 007 set.

Among those familiar faces adding their acting talents to the project are William Sadler (the main bad guy from DIE HARD 2, later to appear in Darabont's THE GREEN MILE), Jeffrey DeMunn (THE GREEN MILE, THE MAJESTIC), Larry Brandenburg (FARGO's Stan Grossman), Neil Guintoli (MEMPHIS BELLE), David Proval ("The Sopranos"), Jude Ciccolella (SIN CITY), and Paul McCrane (ROBOCOP, THE BLOB, "ER").

While stuck with a title that didn't exactly draw people into theaters or encourage positive word-of-mouth (nobody could remember it), THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION overcame initial bad box office and a seven-nomination strikeout at the Oscars to become one of the most popular home video and cable-TV favorites of all time. (As of this writing, it's voted #1 by members of the Internet Movie Database.) Redemption indeed, both in the film's heartrendingly upbeat ending and in real life as well.



Read our review of THE FRANK DARABONT COLLECTION

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION -- Movie Review by Porfle

THINGS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/8/11

 

While one review hails THINGS (1989) as "a movie that defines what 'cult' really is", you'd be quite accurate in saying that this low-budget, straight-to-VHS Canadian gorefest also defines what "100% brain-rotting crap" really is. 

There's no denying that this is one of the worst excuses for a movie ever made.  It's one of those films whose status as either "so bad it's good" or "totally unwatchable dreck" depends entirely upon the charity of the viewer.  That said, though, if you catch it in the right mood--as the film's many fans apparently did--you can have an awful lot of fun watching it.

Shot on Super-8mm by high-school pals Andrew Jordan (co-writer, director) and Barry J. Gillis (co-producer, co-writer, star), THINGS is the story of a man named Doug Drake (Doug Bunston) who seeks medical help when he and his wife Susan are unable to conceive a child.  Unfortunately, Dr. Lucas (Jan W. Pachul) turns out to be a giggling, sadistic psycho who takes time out from torturing people in his dungeon of horror (the torture scenes are amateurish-looking but extreme) to impregnate Susan with a monster fetus.



Later, Doug's brother Don (Gillis) and his friend Fred (Bruce Roach) drop by Doug's secluded cabin in the backwoods of Toronto for an exciting evening of drinking beer and watching TV.  Suddenly, Susan gives birth to a creature that looks like a cross between a chest-burster from ALIEN and a giant cootie.  The thing begins to multiply at an alarming rate until the house is crawling with them, plunging Don, Fred, and Doug into a nightmare of insect insanity and gratuitous gore. 

While all of this sounds exciting, it isn't, and the most interesting thing about the film is the bizarre and illogical behavior of its main characters.  After Susan's horrific death (during which actress Patricia Sadler is unable to suppress a smile whenever she's on camera), Doug's initial grief quickly gives way to lighthearted prankishness and an overall "who cares" attitude, in addition to a concern that his nice shirt has been ruined by Susan's gushing blood.  Don interrupts the somber mood with a gruesome campfire story at the kitchen table, while Fred wonders what kind of cool TV shows are on. 

Characters appear and disappear seemingly at random--we don't even know Doug is in the house with Don and Fred until there's a sudden closeup of his butt, after which he disappears again.  The total lack of basic storytelling skills forces us to decipher what's going on in almost every scene, even down to figuring out whether we're supposed to find certain drawn-out sequences funny, suspenseful, or scary.
 


There seem to be several deliberate attempts at comedy throughout the story, but the serious and funny elements are so equally stupid that it's hard to tell.  I laughed out loud when the dog got killed, and I don't even know why.  Other scenes are equally amusing for unknown reasons, such as the part where Doug and Don are searching the bathroom for bug-monsters and find one perched on the toilet, and then each of them insists on using the bathroom anyway. 

Much of the running time is padded with shots of them wandering around the house with their flashlights, trading goofy dialogue and doing things that don't make sense.  When they finally go down into the basement to change out some fuses, a sudden bug attack results in Don bludgeoning Doug with a club.  More excitement ensues when Fred finds an electric chainsaw and goes commando against the critters while Don wields a power drill as though he were building the world's most insane birdhouse.  The film's most hilarious moment ("I'm still alive!") is followed by a surprise visit from none other than the gleefully insane Dr. Lucas, after which things just go totally whacko until the film abruptly ends. 

THINGS supposedly cost around $40,000 to make, but I can't imagine it costing any more than forty dollars.  A sizable chunk of the budget ($2,500) went to 80s porn goddess Amber Lynn, who consented to appear as a TV news reporter making intermittent appearances throughout the film.  Reading her lines cold from a cue card held way off to the side, Amber doesn't come off too good here.  This is irrelevant, though, since her presence is mainly an excuse to use sexy pictures of her in the advertising.  The film's only nudity comes in the first scene, in which a woman (a real-life hooker who appeared under the condition that her face not be shown) strips naked while wearing a devil mask that makes her resemble a deranged Ed Wood.



The DVD from InterVision is in full-screen with 2.0 sound.  Extras include two commentaries, trailers, Barry J. Gillis TV appearances promoting the film, a cast and crew 20th anniversary reunion, a ten-minute behind-the-scenes look at Amber Lynn filming her scenes, and testimonials for the film including comments by Tobe Hooper (TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE) and Jason Eisener (HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN).  After the closing credits crawl there's more candid footage of Amber Lynn and some outtakes.

The first commentary, an audio viewing party with the Cinefamily, is fun, but the cast and crew commentary is a wonderfully raucous affair during which Gillis' daughter, Victoria Elizabeth Turnbull (who also appears in the anniversary segment), mercilessly mocks the film while a growing air of inebriation seems to prevail.

With camerawork and editing that seem to have been performed by blind people and dubbing that might've been done from across the street--not to mention some of the most delightfully atrocious acting of all time--you might think that THINGS was made by people who have never seen a movie before.  As things grow more bizarre and nonsensical, however, the film begins to look more like something made by aliens who have never seen human beings before.

THINGS -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE MORGUE -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/1/11

 

A young woman named Margo (Lisa Crilley) is the happy-go-lucky janitor in a big, creepy mausoleum.  She's a bouncy-peppy type who bops around with her earbuds plugged in while mopping the floors and scrubbing the bloodstains off the bathroom wall where a previous mortician recently slashed his own throat.  Lately, though, she keeps having these unsettling little flashes of alternate reality, and for some reason the night watchman, George (the venerable Bill Cobbs), acts like she isn't there. 

Five minutes into THE MORGUE (2008) and we're already starting to see the surprise ending coming from a mile away.  But there's more--a dysfunctional family, including a belligerent dad, a mousy mom (yes, that Heather Donahue), and an owlish little girl, show up because their SUV has run out of gas, and, of course, when you run out of gas in the middle of nowhere, the first thing you do is head straight for the nearest mausoleum.  Minutes later, two more guys come staggering in covered with blood after crawling out of a car wreck.  And with our cast of characters thus established, we now get to see them all trying desperately to contact the outside world and escape from the mazelike mausoleum while some dark figure in a hoodie is chasing them all around with a shovel.  Oh yeah, and whenever one of them tries to talk to the night watchman, George, he acts like they aren't there.  Pretty scary stuff, right?  Ehh... 

THE MORGUE tries awful hard to be scary, but it's mainly just confusing and somewhat tedious.  We see endless scenes of our heroes sneaking out of their safe haven, running up and down the dark halls from the shovel-wielding hoodie guy while trying to get out of the building, and then scrambling back to home base and locking the door.  When Bad Dad and Car Wreck Dude attempt an excursion into town, they keep coming right back to the mausoleum.  Weak "shock cuts" and other earnest but unsuccessful attempts to frighten us abound.  The characters' actions often defy any conceivable logic.  And when the twist ending finally comes, it's telegraphed so far in advance that the whole movie is basically one long twist ending. 

I kinda got an 80s vibe from THE MORGUE, which made me think about how much better even the cheaper flicks seemed back then compared to this.  Some parts also have a faint hint of Rod Serling's "Night Gallery" with a dash of PHANTASM thrown in.  It's nice to see somebody trying to do something different by playing around with the supernatural and slasher genres, but it never really comes off like the filmmakers must've imagined.  The constantly blaring music doesn't help, either.  The lead actors do their best to sell it, with Lisa Crilley (ANNAPOLIS) giving it her all and BLAIR WITCH PROJECT's Heather Donahue adding a nostalgic touch. 

Ultimately, though, the ending that THE MORGUE has been so frantically building up to for its entire running time comes as more of a foregone conclusion than a surprise.  There are a few fill-in-the-blanks shots to explain some of the loose ends, but that's about it.  And without the catharsis of a satisfying twist, it's a real downer.  The thing that makes the "Jordy Verrill" segment of CREEPSHOW stick out like a sore thumb is that not only does the ending lack irony, but Jordy doesn't deserve his awful fate, which is at odds with most EC horror stories.  The same applies to THE MORGUE, which left me wondering what the point of it all was.

THE MORGUE -- Movie Review by Porfle

AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/13/11

 

If you're in the mood for something spicy, saucy, and hot, try some buffalo wings.  Otherwise, you may prefer AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK (1975), one of the dullest schock-u-mentaries ever.  It's like cashing in all your boredom points and taking a cross-country bus ride to Yawnsville.

Ozploitation director John Lamond, who would later give us NIGHTMARES (so to speak) and FELICITY, leads us on a MONDO CANE-inspired tour through the down-under of Down Under with this disjointed cinematic grab bag.  Opening with what looks like a poor man's Bond-movie titles sequence (nude blonde slowly rotates against black backdrop as strobe light flashes) and some understandably sad-looking aborigines, we're then treated to a leisurely succession of unrelated vignettes ranging in interest from slight to none, roughly half of which involve naked people. 

Unfortunately, Lamond's lens seems to have attracted some of the homeliest 'roo babes in Ozzie Land like moths to a flame, and some of them brought their butt-nekkid boyfriends with them.  As the monotonous narrator drones relentlessly on, we watch them sunbathing in the nude, swimming in the nude, painting each other's nude bodies, and nuding it up during Satan-worshipping rituals and custom bikini fittings.
 


The low-budget cinematography and painful 70s fashions combine with the meandering narrative to create an effect that's strangely enervating.  A promising drive through the King's Cross district (sort of like Times Square in its sleazy days) leads to a body-painting segment that resembles an old Alka-Seltzer ad.  A visit to a gathering of sado-masochists ends just as someone's being racked up, then segues into a study of ancient aboriginal rock paintings, a tour of the gallows at Old Melbourne Gaol, and an upper-class restaurant that serves snakes and grubs.  It's kind of like watching "History Channel After Dark."

More weirdly boring stuff includes a bunch of beer-guzzling losers in a field betting on a game in which they toss coins onto an outstretched blanket, followed by some waterless boat races held in an arid region (even during this non-sexual sequence, the camera lingers under a stairway and peeks up the skirts of passing girls like a dirty old man).  Then, before we've had a chance to catch our breath, the film whisks us out to the airport to watch planes taxi around for awhile.  It's exciting because this is how jet-setters travel to different places!

After tattling on the inordinate alcoholic intake (52 gallons per person annually) in Australia's Northern territories and showing us more sad aborigines boozing their troubles away, we go to the country's gay capitol, Perth, to witness (gasp) two guys getting married.  This sequence proves once and for all that gay weddings are just as boring as straight ones, and we don't even get cake.  A sexually-ambiguous stripper performs, then a woman talks about all the "saucer craft" that have landed in her field as we see a montage of familiar UFO photographs.



Things start to heat up a tad when a naked blonde is tied to an inverted cross and boffed by a guy in a fright mask (it's those pesky Satan-worshippers I mentioned before).  A lengthy stretch near the end tries to regain our dwindling attention by focusing entirely on nude women engaged in various activities such as bathing in milk and mud (the latter being a spiritual return to the primordial slime or whatever) and having guys slurp food off their bodies.  Dispensing with the subject of Australia altogether, the narrator then gives us a lecture on what a "fetish" is while a lingerie-clad woman poses.

In the penultimate segment, we meet transvestite oddball Count Cornelius, who is what you might call a "lifestyle comedian."  The Count amuses himself by spouting proclamations ("Beautiful schoolgirls remind me of sexy nuns") and festooning his environment with placards containing "Laugh-In" style one-liners.  Talk about After-Darksville!  The film mercifully draws to a close at last with some relaxing shots of a nude Gina Allen snorkeling on the Great Barrier Reef with some fish, as the narrator informs us that she's returning to--you guessed it--the primordial something or other.

After trying to find a way to enjoy this movie--the usually surefire "so bad it's good" deal wasn't working here--I finally realized that a trancelike surrender is required to endure it, much like the educational films they tried to bore us to death with in grade school (only with more full-frontal nudity).  One of the nicer things about AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK is that the score seems to have been gleaned from the same music library used by the better porn filmmakers of the 70s.

The DVD from Intervision is "fully restored from a print discovered in the cellar of the Lower Wonga Drive-In" and is widescreen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound.  There's an audio commentary with director Lamond and "Not Quite Hollywood" director Mark Hartley, but my copy of the DVD seems to be missing the trailer reel mentioned on the box. 

About as shocking and titillating as a pile of wet socks, AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK does boast a kind of tranquil monotony, and is, in the words of Douglas Adams, "mostly harmless."  Finally making it to the end credits is a catharsis similar to walking out of the hospital after a long stay--you feel weak as a kitten but pleasantly relieved that it's over.

AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE ABC OF LOVE AND SEX AUSTRALIA STYLE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/18/11

 

Ozploitation director John D. Lamond returns to titillate us once again with 1978's THE ABC OF LOVE AND SEX AUSTRALIA STYLE, a by-the-letters primer on "doin' it" that manages the remarkable feat of making sex boring.

Unlike the previous Lamond documentary we talked about, AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK, this one eschews the scattershot approach and focuses on a single subject.  Assuming we know little or nothing about it ourselves, the film opens during Professor Leonard Lovitt's sex education class for kids and invites us to join them in listening to his lecture.  This sequence is done with stop-motion animated puppets and is pretty much the only marginally charming part of the whole thing. 

As the professor starts his projector, the film proper begins with two women in leotards dancing badly around some giant alphabet blocks to an innocuous disco tune.  This gives way to a letter-by-letter journey through the alphabet beginning with "A" for "anatomy", in which we're introduced to the differences between male and female genitalia.  (More on that when we get to the letter "G.")  "B" is for "birth", offering some extreme close-ups of a nursing baby that had me thinking, "Huh?"

 

"C" for "contraceptive" seems to be an excuse for some product placement along the lines of the "Budget Rent-a-Car" shots in AUSTRALIA AFTER DARK, and "D" for "dreams" informs us that people like to dream about sex.  Surprisingly, "E" for "erotic", while managing to define the word, comes up short actually demonstrating it.  An attempt to mimic the "erotic" eating scene in TOM JONES consists of two stiffs staring meaningfully at each other while gnashing chicken, grapes, and bananas in an affected manner.  

Elsewhere, another couple pretend to have oral sex in a movie theater--mainly we just see the guy's face--and then join the "mile-high club" by kissing real hard in an airplane.  Kissing real hard seems to be the prevalent means of simulating the sex act in many of these vignettes. 

"F" for "fun" shows us a couple of people hopping around in a bubble bath.  "H" for "homosexual" is an excuse to indulge in "funny" stereotypes as a bunch of queens camp it up during a gay party, followed by a somewhat more enjoyable lesbian encounter.  "Innocence" is equated with "ignorance" as virginity gets the bird.  The scenario used to illustrate "J" for "jealousy", in which a woman tries to pick up a man in a bar, is intended as a startling role-reversal while having nothing at all to do with "jealousy."  As you might guess, "K" for "kiss" shows various couples kissing real hard.

Onward we slog through the rest of the letters as "love", "masturbation", something starting with an "N" that I can't recall, and of course the big "O" are similarly dramatised in lighthearted but relentlessly dull fashion as narrators Michael Cole and Sandy Gore drone monotonously.  This isn't just a parody of a dry, clinical sex manual--it often comes off as one, even throwing in the occasional comment by some Swedish sexologist who resembles Quasimodo's mom.  For anyone actually trying to get off to this movie, her appearances would be the equivalent of thinking about baseball. 

 

It's hard to imagine this tepid pseudo-educational film appealing to the raincoat crowd, though, or even the "watch naughty movies on cable after Mom and Dad have gone to bed" faction.  Observing various (mainly unattractive) couples acting out the enervating voiceover isn't the kind of thing one might want to use as a sex aid, or see at a drive-in or grindhouse.  So who the heck is this largely unerotic sex movie meant to appeal to?  Even the captive audience of an actual "Introduction to Sex" class would find it hard to sit through.

Aside from a snippet of cuteness here and there (the elevator-sex scene reaches the film's peak of verbal humor by deftly including the words "lift" and "elevate" in the narration), the only interest is in the brief bits of nudity, including, at around the halfway point, some actual shots of penetration. 

However, for any couples desperate enough to be using this film to put a cheerful charge into their love life, up jumps "R" for "rape" to throw some cold water on it with a jarringly out-of-place lapse into grim seriousness.  Lamond cheats a bit by giving us "X" for "excellence", and then "Y" for "you" gives him an excuse to recap the entire film with a montage of scenes that were already dull the first time.  As for "Z"...well, he couldn't think of anything for "Z."  What about "zipper"?  Or "zoo"?  Okay, maybe not "zoo."

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is widescreen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  There's a commentary with director Lamond and "Not Quite Hollywood" director Mark Hartley.  The box mentions a trailer reel but I couldn't find one.

A mildly interesting peek at 70s sexual mores and dull filmmaking, THE ABC OF LOVE AND SEX AUSTRALIA STYLE (which, incidentally, has absolutely nothing to do with Australia) pits lots of nudity and some brief scenes of hardcore sex against unrelenting boredom in a touch-and-go battle that left me teetering on the edge of indifference.  Around about the twentieth time some random couple was shown toying with each other's buttons and kissing real hard, I found myself wishing the alphabet wasn't so darn long.

 

THE ABC OF LOVE AND SEX AUSTRALIA STYLE -- DVD Review by Porfle

MURDERLUST (w/ PROJECT NIGHTMARE) -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/14/17

 

One of the joys of movie watching is discovering new (to me anyway) low-budget filmmakers with a knack for turning straw into gold.  Or at least making the straw look better.  1985's serial killer thriller MURDERLUST (like its Intervision DVD companion PROJECT NIGHTMARE) is very good straw. 

Here, two very independent filmmakers--writer/director Donald M. Jones and writer/producer James C. Lane--have joined their noteworthy talents together to concoct a viewing experience which, while not exactly something to write home about, is admirably well-rendered considering that the budget was around $30,000.  That includes shooting on 35mm film, which in the pre-digital days ate up budgets like Homer Simpson going through a box of donuts.

In their script, which was begun by Jones and completed by Lane, Eli Rich (THE JIGSAW MURDERS) plays Steve Belmont, whose activities at the local church (he teaches Sunday School and counsels troubled kids) mask the fact that he's a vicious serial killer in his spare time.

Steve actually leads a triple life, since in addition to these two sides of his personality there's a third--that of a surly working stiff whose real jobs are marred by extremely disrespectful and irresponsible behavior.  When he isn't planning his next kill or being Mr. Nice Guy at the church, he's telling off his boss, trying to cajole his landlord to extend his rent deadline, or soaking his straight-laced cousin Neil (Dennis Gannon) for loans and favors. 

Interestingly, it's the non-serial-killer stuff that MURDERLUST spends the most time on.  In fact, the film is more about how Steve struggles to maintain his everyday life and keep up his clean image at church than about his homicidal activities.  So those looking for blood and gore or a series of graphic, cinematic murders for their own sake will likely find much of this story rather slow going.  Maybe even boring.

But if you get caught up in Steve's story then that should be sufficiently involving.  His standing at church is threatened when a disturbed young girl accuses him of inappropriate touching (of which, surprisingly, he's innocent) and a chance encounter with a fellow member who professes her secret love for him (Rochelle Taylor as "Cheryl") has Steve thinking that maybe he has a chance for a normal life after all.

"Normal", however, just isn't in Steve's makeup, and he keeps returning to what he does best, which is luring women into his apartment or his "creep" van, dispatching them, and then driving them out to the desert to dump the bodies.  (He'll eventually be known by the press as the "Mohave Murderer.")

Jones stages the murder scenes pretty matter-of-factly, without lingering over any of the details or indulging in anything gratuitous.  It's the drama and suspense that occur between these scenes in this leisurely-paced character study that he and co-writer Lane are concerned with.  That, and delivering as good-looking a film as they can for their meager budget.

This is where Jones' knack for solid, economical staging comes to the fore, with the help of a highly capable cast led by the talented Rich as our anti-hero Steve.  Producer Lane also adds his valuable expertise in various technical aspects (camerawork, lighting, sets, etc.) as well as pulling off some beautiful helicopter shots in the desert which he describes in detail in his informative commentary track.

As you can probably guess, Steve's veneer of normalcy comes crashing down around him in the film's climax, as his true nature is revealed to a horrified Cheryl.  Even here, though, the main goal of MURDERLUST is to draw us into its story rather than shock us.

I found MURDERLUST to be involving, if perhaps a bit overly low-key, and was interested to see how it had been put together with such limited resources.  (Watching it along with Lane's detailed commentary is especially enlightening.)  Stalker-slasher fans in the mood to be thrilled and horrified, however, will likely deem it a yawner.



The second film on the disc is Jones and Lane's first feature effort, PROJECT NIGHTMARE, which finally found distribution in 1987 after some of their subsequent films had already been released.

With an even lower budget and a soundtrack in which all the dialogue was looped, the film manages to look better and, in my opinion, present a much more intriguing "Twilight Zone"-esque story.

The brash, outgoing Jon (Seth Foster) and the quiet, introspective Gus (Charles Miller) are two old friends whose camping trip in the mountains is interrupted when a strange, unknown force begins to chase them through the woods.

Seeking shelter in a secluded cabin, they meet Marcie (Elly Koslo), a strangely accomodating woman who not only trusts them implicitly on sight but quickly falls for Gus, whose feelings are guarded but mutual.

After a series of vain attempts to return to civilization, all three eventually find themselves fleeing the mysterious force and end up stranded in the desert.  Several events bordering on the supernatural occur, but after Gus finds his way down into an underground bunker, he discovers the true origin of all the strange occurrences that have been plaguing them.

Up to this point PROJECT NIGHTMARE has been having a ball leading us through a maze of inexplicable twists and turns which it must now labor to explain.  Thankfully, the ending isn't one of those copouts that leaves us hanging, and the resolution to all the mysteries consists of some pretty interesting science fiction for us to wrap our heads around.

Technically, the film is thoughtfully directed by Jones and is rife with great outdoor locations that are well-photographed in 35mm. The underground facility betrays its low budget at times but not really to the film's detriment.

A nightmare sequence early on is quite expertly conceived and edited, ending dramatically with a series of still shots timed to a pounding heartbeat.

With a combination of "Twilight Zone", "The Outer Limits", and, according to Lane in his commentary track, FORBIDDEN PLANET, the story manages to maintain our interest throughout.  This is helped in no small measure by a very capable cast.

Despite playing second fiddle to MURDERLUST on this Intervision double-feature disc (whose bonus features consist of the two James Lane commentary tracks and a MURDERLUST trailer), I consider PROJECT NIGHTMARE the more interesting and rewarding of the two features.  Together, they make for one very worthwhile DVD which I found richly entertaining.

MURDERLUST (w/ PROJECT NIGHTMARE) -- DVD Review by Porfle

DREAM STALKER/DEATH BY LOVE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 4/4/17

 

In THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY, Clint Eastwood tells us: "In this world, there are two kinds of people, my friend.  Those with loaded guns...and those who dig."  Well, he was half right.  There ARE two kinds of people in the world: those who think shot-on-video movies from the 80s and 90s are unwatchable crap, and those who'd sooner watch one of them than anything that won an Academy Award this year. 

I fall into the latter camp--not completely, perhaps, but mainly--which is why I regarded Intervision Picture Corp.'s new DREAM STALKER/DEATH BY LOVE double-feature DVD with a sort of giddy delight instead of flinging it away with a cry of "ICK!" as some less adventurous individuals might be compelled to do.

Granted, these SOV features are a diverse lot which vary wildly in quality from the above-average (PHOBE:XENOPHOBIC EXPERIMENTS) to somewhere in-between (SLEDGEHAMMER, the first-ever SOV movie) to the downright pathetic (I'm looking at you, THINGS).

But however relatively good or bad they may be, they all share one thing in common--the fact that they're such a renegade, "outsider" form of cinema automatically makes them instantly interesting to a lot of people.

In the case of DREAM STALKER (1991), director Christopher Mills does a competent job with a cast that's unpolished but earnest, and comes up with something that resembles an actual movie.  Some of the photography, in fact, is actually rather nice, especially a gorgeous shot of a car crossing Golden Gate Bridge in the rain. Some of the sound, unfortunately, is the pits. (I'm looking at you, leaf-blower scene.)

Scriptwise, there's some perversely amusing dialogue and a glorious mess of a plot about a budding supermodel named Brittney Marin (Valerie Williams) whose dirt-bike-racing, mullet-sporting boyfriend Ricky (Mark Dias) gets killed shortly after their engagement. 

The increasingly troubled Brittney discovers, through the help of the eccentric Dr. Frisk, that her nightmares about Ricky (in which he tries to run her over with his bike before dragging her down kicking and screaming into his grave) have taken on telekinetic properties.

What even he doesn't know, however, is that when Brittney is asleep, Dead Ricky is able to return to this world, kill anyone who bothers or shows any romantic interest in her, and, in a twist on the old "dream lover" fantasy, make some really yucky nocturnal mookie with her. 

By this time, Ricky's looking a little icky, thanks to a nifty makeup job that makes him look like Two-Face only worse.  He hasn't lost his sick sense of humor, though, bemoaning the breakage of his condom in the zombie rape scene and giving a hapless mortuary worker some serious guff for cheaping out on his burial. 

In desperation, Brittney leaves her hot older-Pat-Benetar-looking mom behind and flees to their vacation cabin in the woods, only to find that it's now right next to a camp for "troubled teens" who are all in their 20s and 30s.  These insufferable post-juvenile delinquents could all use a good Jasoning, but after the chicks beat up on poor Brittney and the dudes try to molest her (by now, this movie has elements of NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, FRIDAY THE 13TH, and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE comin' at ya) they're all prime fodder for Dead Ricky to wade into just as soon as Brittney goes night-night.

Love-starved Brittney finally drives old Rottin' Rick right over the edge when she shows interest in a handsome new neighbor, Greg (John Tyler).  A nice softcore sex scene with brief nudity (bookending the earlier one between Brittney and a pre-dead Rick) sets up the raucous finale in which everybody gets seriously Rick Rolled, with plenty of blood and gore effects. 

All things considered, DREAM STALKER may very well be regarded as a classic of its kind.  The horror scenes are generally well-staged, the drama is pleasingly goofy, and SOV fans should find it as restful and invigorating as a good night's sleep. 


The same can pretty much be said for the follow-up, DEATH BY LOVE (1990), which, while not quite as over-the-top as the previous feature, is still one of the better SOV flicks that I've seen. 

Producer-writer-director Alan Grant stars as Joel Falk, a well-known sculptor who's quite a fit, bronzed figure of a man himself.  At least, enough to attract the interest of several equally attractive young women who, unfortunately, tend to turn up dead after hooking up with him.  And not only dead, but drained of blood, with ugly gashes on their throats.

But is Joel the killer?  Or is it the mysterious, unidentified man (Frank McGill) who's always spying on him from afar?  Every time Joel hooks up with a woman, this guy's peering through a window or hedge, seemingly up to no good. 

So...is he the killer, and if so, why does he seem intent on murdering every woman that Joel shows romantic interest in?  

Like DREAM STALKER, this is a decent-looking enough feature to have been shot on video, and it's about as well-directed.  Since it was shot in Dallas, Texas, almost everyone has a thick Texas accent, which, as a Texan myself, I find to be a definite plus.  The acting, as usual, is much more enthusiastic than refined, and in general the movie is technically adequate and more. 

Whether he's killing these women without being aware of it, or his unknown stalker is disposing of them himself for some ungodly reason, Joel earns our sympathy early on thanks partly to Grant's earnest performance.  McGill comes into his own later as his character makes his way to the fore and the mystery surrounding him is revealed. 

This revelation, in fact, turns out to be a dandy of a twist, which I'd be loathe to expound upon here lest I give it away. Suffice it to say, the second half of the story gets a lot livelier and involves some nifty monster makeup.  Also of interest are the copious amounts of lovingly-shot softcore sex scenes throughout much of the running time, accompanied by the requisite smokey jazz music. 

With the help of a couple of likable police detectives, DEATH BY LOVE builds to a suitably intense climax that viewers should find satisfying.  (Be sure to stay through the closing credits for the final sting.) Together with DREAM STALKER, this double-feature DVD from Intervision should prove quite a tasty treat for shot-on-video connoisseurs who just can't get enough of that funky stuff.

Special Features:

Remembering Ricky: With Actor Mark Dias
Dirtbike Dreams: Executive Producer Tom Naygrow
Alan Grant Remembers Death By Love Via Video Skype
Yvonne Aric and Brad Bishop Remember Death By Love Via Video Skype
English subtitles

Release date: 4/11/17

DREAM STALKER/DEATH BY LOVE -- DVD Review by Porfle

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/14/14

 

When famous TV personality Grace Forsyte's ratings start to plunge, so does her integrity--leading to a desperate attempt to boost viewership by taking a film crew into the jungles of South America to record the most horrible atrocities she can find amongst savage tribes of (gasp!) flesh-eating cannibals!

Thus, Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei (working under the name "Vincent Dawn"), responsible for such films as RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR, WOMEN'S CAMP 119, CALIGULA'S PERVERSIONS, and SCALPS, enriches the world of cinematic art with this offering entitled MONDO CANNIBAL (2004, Intervision Picture Corp.), known also as "Cannibal World", "Horror Cannibal 2", "Cannibal Holocaust 2", and "Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning." Needless to say, it's about cannibalism.

The "Mondo" angle is a bit misleading, however, since this is neither an actual "Mondo Cane"-type documentary nor a mockumentary, although there's one scene near the beginning that looks real enough. Grace (played by Helena Wagner) and her boss, the TV network president, are viewing footage of what's purported to be actual cannibals preparing a corpse for feasting, and it looks like the real thing--disgustingly so--although it might simply be a prelude to a crude cremation.

Still, it's the one part of the movie that you won't want to watch while eating a nice, drippy, all-meat pizza or a steaming bowl of goulash. In other words, it's wicked grotty, innit.

The rest of the movie consists of Grace and her crew on an increasingly wacky jungle adventure filming fake natives running around killing each other with rubber clubs and feasting on the bloody entrails of their victims like a bunch of freaked-out "fast-moving" zombies.

The grossest thing about these scenes (and their rudimentary but fun gore SPFX) is wondering what the hell is that stringy slop the energetic extras are shoving into their mouths with such ravenous glee--it looks like spaghetti mixed with something somebody dug out of a dumpster behind a butcher shop.

Recording all this horror eventually isn't enough for Grace and her gang, who before long are in the thick of the carnage themselves as they attack a village and set fire to the huts, which are filled with screaming natives, while gleefully raping and massacring everyone in sight.

This rampant savagery is a weird and sudden change for Grace's environmental-advocate partner Bob Manson (Claudio Morales)--supposedly the "conscience" of the group--and her technical crew including cute blonde Cindy (Cindy Matic), whose main purpose on the expedition is to add to the film's brief nudity quotient.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, the TV executives (with the sole exception of one gray-haired bigwig with a weak stomach) are, to coin a phrase, "eating it all up" as the ratings skyrocket.

MONDO CANNIBAL is surprisingly competent in the technical department, with some nice location work including lovely shots of what is supposed to be Hong Kong (although the credits state that this was filmed entirely in the Phillipines). One of the funniest parts of the film is the title at the beginning of this sequence: "Hong Kong: Some Mouths Before..."

Performances are fair to, well, fair, but what star Helena Wagner lacks in finesse she makes up for with pure wire-taut intensity. Her efforts and those of the rest of the cast are hampered by bad dubbing and some jarringly dumb dialogue that adds to the perverse entertainment value.

The main drawback is that much of the earlier part of the film is just plain boring. Things definitely pick up later on, however, when the story starts edging its way over the top before spilling all the way over into a bloodbath of goofy gore and even goofier plot twists.

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in full frame with Dolby Digital stereo sound. No subtitles. The only bonus feature is a trailer.

In case you haven't gleaned as much from my description already, MONDO CANNIBAL isn't exactly the sort of entertainment to accompany your next Martha Stewart-style dinner soirée. But if you're in the mood for some severely whacked-out ultra-gore goodness packed with psychotic sadism and lacking any sense of decency whatsoever, then this should serve as a suitably sordid main course.

MONDO CANNIBAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/31/11

 

WRISTCUTTERS (2006) is quirky as hell but doesn't make a big deal about it, and it's this deadpan, matter-of-fact attitude that makes it so irresistible.  Wonderful characters, situations, and bits of business just keep emerging from this low-key comedy as it unwinds. 

As the story begins, Zia (Patrick Fugit, ALMOST FAMOUS, DEAD BIRDS) is slitting his wrists over a girl named Desiree (Leslie Bibb).  The next time we see him he's working in a crappy pizza place called Kamikazee's and sharing a dingy apartment with a foul-tempered Austrian guy.  It turns out that people who commit suicide end up in a world just like this one, except it's even worse.  Everything's falling apart, most of the people are listless and depressed (no surprise there), and it's physically impossible for anyone to smile.  Furthermore, everyone still retains the bodily damage resulting from their chosen methods of suicide. 

When Zia discovers that Desiree also "offed" (the local term for killing oneself) shortly after he did, he sets out to find her along with his new friend Eugene (Shea Whigham, FIRST SNOW, LORDS OF DOGTOWN). Eugene's a Russian guy who lives with his family, who all committed suicide at different times.  Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker named Mikal (Shannyn Sossamon, A KNIGHT'S TALE), who is searching for the people in charge because she believes she's there by mistake due to an unintentional drug overdose.

For awhile, WRISTCUTTERS is a fun road picture with the three of them traveling through the hot, desolate landscape in Eugene's crummy little car.  When they break down, there's a nice scene in a roadside garage where Mark Boone, Jr. (MEMENTO, SE7EN) plays a psychic auto mechanic who diagnoses their trouble by laying hands upon the car.  At one point Zia drops something under the passenger seat and finds that there's a black hole under it, which sucks in all the cassette tapes, sunglasses, and other items that he's continuously fumbling to Eugene's irritation.



Later Mikal almost gets arrested for vandalism--she has a tendency to deface signs that she disagrees with, such as scrawling "unless you want to" under a "No Smoking" sign--until Zia talks the cop out of it.  In this world, the cops all look like bums, restaurants are rundown shacks with the word "FOOD" crudely painted over the door, and there's junk scattered everywhere.  It's an interesting, well-realized environment, and it makes us wonder what the next level of existence must look like to anyone driven to off themselves on this one.

Eventually they encounter a strange man named Kneller (Tom Waits), who presides over a shantytown by the tracks.  Kneller takes in all the aimless wanderers who pass by and offers them a chance to live together in relative happiness (Etger Keret's short story upon which the screenplay is based is entitled "Kneller's Happy Campers").  But just as Zia and Mikal begin to settle in and develop romantic feelings for each other, they discover the presence of a nearby cult led by a would-be messiah (Will Arnett) who promises his fervent followers deliverance from their purgatory.  And his devoted consort is none other than Zia's ex-girlfriend, Desiree.

In a bold move, director Goran Dukic actually keeps his camera still and allows things to happen in front of it without instructing his cinematographer to hop around like his pants were on fire.  Hopefully this revolutionary technique will catch on.  The washed-out hues convey the dreary atmosphere of the present while flashbacks of the real world, where we get to see how various characters happened to snuff themselves, are shot in vivid color. 

The very likable leads compliment the dry tone of the script by giving restrained, semi-realistic performances and not trying to funny things up too much.  Tom Waits is just right as Kneller, proving once again that he's an outstanding character actor.  John Hawkes, the liquor store clerk in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, pops up as one of Kneller's "happy campers", and early on there's a cameo by Jake Busey, an old friend of Zia's who still wants the 200 bucks he owes him even if they're both dead.

It's rare that you see a movie with a premise this odd that doesn't screw it up before it's over.  But WRISTCUTTERS stays the course without once getting too cute or trying too hard to bowl us over with how clever it is.  It feels almost like Tim Burton's BIG FISH with the fairytale cream filling sucked out of it.  And when two of the characters smile at each other right before the fadeout--which, in the context of this story, is a pretty big deal--they had me doing it, too.

WRISTCUTTERS: A LOVE STORY -- Movie Review by Porfle

DOOM PATROL: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- Blu-ray/Digital Review by Porfle

(Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own.)

Originally posted on 9.30.2019

 

It's binge-watching time again with another entertaining superhero-centric season set, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment's 3-disc Blu-ray DOOM PATROL: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON. 

I never read the classic DC comic book (which inspired Marvel's "The X-Men") as a kid, but these 15 episodes proved, for the most part anyway, to be some of the most fun, engaging, and utterly surreal superhero stuff I've seen on any screen.

The pilot/origin story tells how the seemingly benign but unfathomably eccentric wheelchair-bound scientist Dr. Niles Caulder (Timothy Dalton) rescues various people from horrific physical injuries, mental and/or biological catastrophes (such as suddenly turning into a monster, etc.), rehabilitates them in some way, and assembles them into a motley gang of super-powered misfits who are expected to save the earth from all manner of extreme evil and paranormal calamity.



Thus, much of the action is as mental as it is physical, leading to some real "Twilight Zone"/"X-Files" type plots with the same dark, mind-expanding "sense of wonder" as a good Clive Barker novel but with a rich vein of often lowbrow humor running through all the deeply weird, sometimes downright bizarre character drama.

It's good to see Brendan Fraser (BLAST FROM THE PAST, THE MUMMY) with such a meaty role again even if he does resemble a robot version of Ron Perlman as former race car star Cliff Steele, whose horrific auto accident turns him--with Dr. Caulder's help--into the group's version of the Tin Man. Cliff's tragic loss of his wife and daughter add to the complexity of his character even though he provides most of the show's comic relief.

Joivan Wade plays Cyborg, the closest thing to a real "superhero" on the team (I couldn't figure out where I'd seen the character before until it finally hit me that he'd been one of the Teen Titans) but subject to his own problems due to technical malfunctions in his semi-robotic body in addition to doubts as to the motives of his own father (Phil Morris), a brilliant scientist who saved his life by making him less than human.

April Bowlby plays the former movie star who, through a weird on-set mishap, frequently turns into a pulsating blob against her will. Matt Bomer is Larry "Negative Man" Trainor, an aspiring Mercury astronaut who, during a high altitude test flight, picked up a strange alien hitchhiker now residing in his body and giving him unpredictable powers.

But most unpredictable of all is the volatile Crazy Jane (Diane Guerrero), an incredibly disturbed young woman with 64 different personalities, each with its own unbridled superpower. 

The result is a fascinating and mostly likable bunch of anti-heroes (with special emphasis on the "anti") who spend much of their time getting into each other heads (in one episode Cliff literally gets into Crazy Jane's head and almost doesn't make it back out) or trying to fathom the deep, dense mysteries of Dr. Caulder himself.

What looks at first as though it's going to be mostly comedic eventually becomes deeply moody and introspective, subjecting the characters to episodes of heavy soul-searching that often result in their acting out in reckless superhero style. 

Still, some of the episodes are heavy on the action, such as when an evil government organization bent on wiping out anything or anyone who's too "abnormal" captures our heroes in their underground bunker, which becomes the site of a battle royale.  During it all the team members are still learning how to use and control their own powers, often resulting in chaos.

Direction and photography are endlessly kinetic and eye-pleasing (especially in this pristine Blu-ray edition) and performances are uniformly fine, with Fraser, Dalton, and the versatile Guerrero as the standouts. Alan Tudyk (A KNIGHT'S TALE) tries his best as the team's arch-enemy, Mr. Nobody, but despite the show's intention to make him a strongly engaging (and funny) villain I never really found the character all that effective.

This is especially true in the season finale, a poorly-conceived episode that I prefer to consider apocryphal in relation to the mostly excellent fourteen episodes which precede it. When the team's final adventure of the season ultimately features a giant kaiju cockroach and a giant kaiju rat locked in a passionate French kiss in the middle of town with various members of the Doom Patrol crawling around in their stomachs, I found myself hoping that the writers would calm down, go back to the drawing board, and get a fresh start for season two. 

Be that as it may, the majority of episodes in DOOM PATROL: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON are first-rate fantasy/sci-fi/superhero entertainment that's just brimming with fun. Rather than giving us one "origin story" episode followed by various adventures, the entire season is an ongoing origin tale where everything that happens is yet another step in the evolution of these reluctant heroes and their bumbling yet earnest efforts to save the universe.


DIGITAL FEATURES

    Gag Reel 

BLU-RAY & DVD FEATURES

    Gag Reel
    Deleted Scenes
    Featurette: "Come Visit Georgia"

15 ONE-HOUR EPISODES

    Pilot
    Donkey Patrol
    Puppet Patrol
    Cult Patrol
    Paw Patrol
    Doom Patrol Patrol
    Therapy Patrol
    Danny Patrol
    Jane Patrol
    Hair Patrol
    Frances Patrol
    Cyborg Patrol
    Flex Patrol
    Penultimate Patrol
    Ezekiel Patrol

Read our original coverage HERE

DOOM PATROL: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- Blu-ray/Digital Review by Porfle

THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 50TH ANNIVERSARY COLLECTOR'S EDITION -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

  Originally posted June 12, 2014

 

(THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, perhaps Jerry Lewis' most celebrated comedy, is now available on Blu-ray [as of June 3rd] in a brand-new 50TH ANNIVERSARY COLLECTOR'S EDITION. The set also includes DVDs of THE ERRAND BOY and CINDERFELLA, along with the CD "Phoney Phone Calls 1959-1972.")

Mention Jerry Lewis and you get some extreme reactions, and likely a few remarks along the lines of "Well, the French love him." This is mainly because some of the best French filmmakers, such as Francois Truffaut and Jean-Luc Godard , have recognized and appreciated Jerry's talent, even comparing him favorably with the great screen comedians of yore. But you don't have to be French to do that, as I and many millions of his fans worldwide have found out for ourselves over the years.

With his lavish Technicolor comedy THE NUTTY PROFESSOR (1963), writer-director-star Jerry Lewis made his bravest and most wildly imaginative statement as a film comic. This outlandish variation on Robert Louis Stevenson's classic "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"--particularly the film adaptations starring Frederic March and Spencer Tracy--finds him abandoning his familiar child-friendly comic persona of "The Kid" to take on two totally different, and at times even unlikable, personalities.

As college chemistry professor Julius Kelp, he's a gawky, ineffectual uber-nerd bullied by his burly jock students and totally lacking in confidence. This prompts him to create a chemical formula to enhance his personality and physique, turning him (in a frightening transformation sequence) into the handsome, cool, and extremely debonair Buddy Love. In this guise he's able to become popular singing and playing piano for the young crowd at a local nightclub while wooing a gorgeous student, Stella Purdy (an incandescently beautiful Stella Stevens), with whom Kelp is smitten.

The trouble is, Kelp's a nice guy and Buddy Love is arrogant, vain, and insensitive. There's been much speculation over the years as to whom Lewis based the character on--is he former partner Dean Martin, or is he Lewis' own dark side? (Or, as some believe, Frank Sinatra?) Jerry himself says Buddy is simply a combination of bad traits he's seen in several showbiz types. The important thing is, however, that his performance as Buddy is so fascinating to watch, especially when brief flashes of Kelp show through whenever the formula begins to wear off.

While Lewis is definitely "saying something" about human nature here, what has always drawn me to THE NUTTY PROFESSOR are his hilarious antics as the supremely geeky Professor Julius Kelp. This, in my opinion, is his greatest comic creation, one which he would reprise in later films such as THE BIG MOUTH and THE FAMILY JEWELS.

He is most similar to the great silent comics when performing his imaginative sight gags (while working out in a gym, a heavy barbell stretches his arms all the way to the floor) but his use of sound is also brilliant. In one scene, while Kelp is sneaking into the university lab at night to continue his experiments, he removes his squeaky shoes only to discover that it is his feet which are squeaking. In another sequence, Kelp suffers the hangover from one of Buddy's drinking binges as every tiny sound in his classroom--chalk on a blackboard, gum-chewing, water dripping--is amplified to gargantuan proportions.

Besides Lewis and Stevens, THE NUTTY PROFESSOR is brimming with Lewis stock company members and other familiar faces such as Kathleen Freeman, Del Moore (hilarious as the harried college dean Dr. Warfield), the great Howard Morris (who, in a nightmarish flashback, plays Kelp's horribly henpecked father), Norm Alden, and Buddy Lester, whose performance as a bartender encountering the abrasive Buddy Love gives the film one of its most memorable comedy bits. (Lester would also score big laughs in Lewis' other truly great film THE LADIES' MAN.)

 If you look quick, you'll catch Gavin Gordon of BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (in the p.o.v. introduction to Buddy Love which Lewis copped from the Frederic March version), Francine York, "Laugh-In" castmember Henry Gibson, and a young Richard "Jaws" Kiel.

The story comes to a head when Kelp is enlisted to serve as a chaperone at the senior prom where Buddy has been hired to perform. Here, Lewis stages his most daring and emotional scene yet (with some Oscar-worthy acting), skirting the boundaries of bathos without going over (which he has been known to do frequently). It's the perfect and ultimately quite cathartic capper for THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, Lewis' greatest film. Others may cringe at the sound of his name, but I consider Jerry a national treasure--no matter what nation one might happen to live in.

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Also included in this collection are two more Lewis solo comedies on separate DVDs, THE ERRAND BOY and CINDERFELLA. THE ERRAND BOY (1961) recalls the previous year's THE BELLBOY in that we find writer-director-star Jerry shooting a low-budget black-and-white feature which is simply a plotless series of gags set in one location (in THE BELLBOY it was a busy Miami Beach hotel, while this takes place in and around a bustling movie studio).

There's a semblance of plot involving studio head Brian Donlevy and his obsequious toady, played with verve by Howard McNear (Floyd the barber from "The Andy Griffith Show") but it's just an excuse to give Lewis the run of the place once again, packing each scene with as many imaginative gags as he can devisewith a cast that also includes Stanley "Cyrano Jones" Adams, Kathleen Freeman, Doodles Weaver, Sig Ruman, Fritz Feld, Iris Adrian, and some surprise guest stars.

Much of it is as laugh-out-loud funny as you'd expect, while the rest is rather hit-and-miss. Jerry, of course, disrupts the orderly filmmaking process at every turn, at one point dubbing his own ear-splitting vocals into a lovely young actress' song interlude and elsewhere attempting to eat a quiet sidewalk lunch on the set of a war film.

The usual bathos occurs when the errand boy befriends some cute little puppets which come to life for him in a dusty storeroom--it's in these moments that Lewis tries too hard to be charming when we really want him to keep making with the funny. This he does in one of his most celebrated sequences, in which he pretends to be the chairman of the board non-verbally chewing out his underlings while broadly pantomiming the instruments in a blaring big band tune. For this scene alone THE ERRAND BOY is well worth a look for Lewis fans, but it has much more to offer as well.

1960's CINDERFELLA, as you might guess, is a gender-reversed take on the famous fairytale "Cinderella" with Jerry as the gentle soul ("Fella") harrassed by a wicked stepmother out to steal his inheritence (Dame Judith Anderson, giving the film much added class) and two hateful stepbrothers played wonderfully by exploitation film mainstay Henry Silva and Robert Hutton of THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY and THE SLIME PEOPLE.

When Dame Judith hosts a ball for a visiting princess (cute Anna Maria Alberghetti), Fella's fairy godfather Ed Wynn makes it possible for him to attend and steal the young girl's heart. The ball sequence is best known for Jerry's amazing first-take dance down the massive staircase and also includes some genuinely charming choreography as he and the princess enjoy a spirited dance together.

(There seems to be a scene missing before this, however, since we never see his goldfish being turned into a chauffeur or his bicycle into a limosine, or find out why he must flee the ball at the stroke of midnight, leaving behind one of his Italian loafers.)

Much of the rest of CINDERFELLA is of the "charming" variety, yet there's plenty of the old Lewis hilarity to enjoy as well. The film is directed by Frank Tashlin (of the superb Martin and Lewis hit ARTISTS AND MODELS as well as other of Jerry's solo ventures) and thus we get to see where some of Jerry's own directorial influences came from.

There's another musical pantomime bit, and one great sequence which has Fella trying to eat his own supper at the end of a mile-long dinner table while also scrambling to serve as waiter for his stepmother and stepbrothers. The sets and costumes are opulent, and, like THE NUTTY PROFESSOR, CINDERFELLA is in dazzling Technicolor.

Finally, this collection comes with a CD entitled "Phoney Phone Calls 1959-1972", which finds Jerry displaying his unparalleled talent for prank phone calls years before The Jerky Boys came along. Some of the gags are a little flat, but several are screamingly funny. In "The Lost Watch", he answers an ad from a woman searching for a misplaced heirloom and by the end of the track almost has her believing that it's his ad and that she called him.

One phone gag was recorded live during an appearance on "The Steve Allen Show" with an appreciative audience reaction. But it's the final cut, "Bill Lynch", in which Jerry pretends to be his own thick-headed private secretary while thoroughly exasperating some hapless guy calling for a favor, which had me almost breathless with laughter.

All three films in this collection feature some wonderfully warm and chummy (and sometimes even informative) commentary tracks with Jerry and his old pal, singer Steve Lawrence. For THE ERRAND BOY, commentary is included for selected scenes only, along with bloopers, promo spots, and theatrical trailer. CINDERFELLA comes with bloopers as well.

THE NUTTY PROFESSOR Blu-ray is packed with extras, including:
•Jerry Lewis: No Apologies NEW! An intimate look at the artist who has entertained and educated audiences for more than eight decades

•Directors Letter NEW! A letter specially written by Jerry to present this new collection

•Recreated "Being A Person" book: 96-pages made up of drawings and quotes inspired/written by Jerry Lewis and drawn by his personal illustrator. 250 copies of this book were originally made and distributed to members of the cast and crew of The Nutty Professor after the director heard of general conflicts among them.

•CD: Phoney Phone calls 1959-1972: Years before the Jerky Boys were harassing unwitting shop clerks, housewives and businessmen, Lewis perfected the art, as these recordings show. Released in 2001 on the Sin-Drome label, this is a collection of private prank calls secretly recorded by Jerry Lewis over the years.

•48-Page Storyboard Book

•44-Page Cutting Script with Jerry’s notes

•Commentary by Jerry Lewis and Steve Lawrence

•The Nutty Professor: Perfecting The Formula Behind-The-Scenes Footage

•Jerry Lewis at Work

•Jerry at Movieland Wax Museum with commentary by son Chris Lewis

•Deleted Scenes

•Jerry and Stella Promos

•Bloopers

•Screen Tests

•Outtakes

•Original Mono Track

•Trailers

(Pictures shown are not stills from the actual discs.)

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WB update: Warner Bros. and Jerry Lewis celebrated the 50th Anniversary of The Nutty Professor this past week in New York. Jerry Lewis, the consummate entertainer, world-renowned humanitarian, cultural icon and motion-picture innovator was celebrated in an entertaining laugh-filled tribute by his friends and peers. In attendance were Jerry Lewis, Brett Ratner, Larry King, Richard Belzer, Kerry Keagan, Danny Aiello, Ed Norton, Russell Simmons, Rosario Dawson, Dominic Chianese, Ron Raines and more.

The event took place in honor of the Blu-ray release of THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 50th ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION which Lewis personally supervised, helping to compile loads of entertaining extra content for the release.

Event Sizzle Reel
  

THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 50TH ANNIVERSARY COLLECTOR'S EDITION -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle