"Love Happy" was conceived as a solo vehicle for Harpo.
But, as usual, Chico needed the money. And Groucho got lured into it too.
Before it was over, the producers were short on cash as well... ...and sold ad-space in the movie.
Thus, the big chase finale is wall-to-wall product placement.
(See if you can spot the blooper in the Mobilgas shot at 1:15.)
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!
Originally posted on 5/21/21
I've always loved the American-International "Beach Party" series, and I always will. This gives you a good idea of the overall tenor of my assessment of HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (Olive Films, 1965). As for WHY I love these movies so much, well...err...uhh...
To be honest, a lot of people will hate this movie and others like it, and, as far as they're concerned, rightfully so. It's a supremely silly slapstick sex farce with the lowest teen denominator in mind, and it was made to shower undiscerning audiences with brightly-colored pop culture confetti made up of whatever seemed like it might appeal to them, including girls in bikinis, bikes, surfing, jangly rock 'n' roll, cartoonish action, really corny jokes, and cameo appearances by faces familiar to both the younger and older generations.
All of which is why I find these movies to be such irresistible fun--because that's all they try to be, and in their own stupefying way, they succeed. It helps if you're a fan of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (I am), two of the most appealing young stars of the 60s, and enjoy occasionally turning off your mind, relaxing, and floating downstream. It is not dying, even though some might feel that way about it.
This time, Frankie's serving six weeks of naval reserve duty in Tahiti, separating him from Annette and tempting him to indulge in the local "social scene." Even so, he expects Annette (as "Dee Dee") to be faithful to him back there in Malibu, so he enlists the help of witch doctor Bwana Chicky Baby (none other than the venerable Buster Keaton, whose assistants include the beautiful Irene Tsu and Bobbi Shaw) to help him keep an eye on her with the help of a magical pelican.
Bwana Chicky Baby also plans to divert the beach boys' attention away from Annette by creating the perfect woman, who appears to everyone first as an empty leopard skin bikini. The great John Ashley (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER), an American-International mainstay doing beach duty for the studio, then gets to croon the title song before the bikini is suddenly filled by the gorgeous Cassandra (Beverly Adams).
In short order, a nattily-dressed Mickey Rooney and Dwayne Hickman show up as big business types looking for the "girl next door" to accompany Dwayne in a motorcycle race which Mickey hopes will improve the image of cyclists (an image that Eric Von Zipper and his bumbling biker gang do their best to sully when they show up and Eric falls in love with Cassandra).
Dwayne, against Mickey's wishes, falls for Annette, who plays hard to get as usual while the magic pelican keeps watch over their activities for the absent Frankie. And thus the film's main action is established with lots of romantic complications and slapstick nonsense until the big bike race, which turns the final quarter of the film into a live-action cartoon that's like a cross between "Wacky Races" and "Road Runner."
This is the seventh film in A-I's "Beach Party" series (if you count "Pajama Party" and "Ski Party") and by this time the concept was starting to wind down. The next related films would be SERGEANT DEADHEAD and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, then one more "bikini" movie, the financial flop THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI. After that, the emphasis would be on stock car racing with FIREBALL 500 and THUNDER ALLEY.
But there's still fun to be had with this formula if it strikes your fancy as it does mine. Annette is just as appealing a fantasy girlfriend as ever, and gets to sing a couple of songs (one with The Kingsmen as her backup band) while fending off Dwayne Hickman's romantic overtures.
Rooney seems to be having a good time spoofing HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (his character's name, J. Peachmont Keane, is a variation of that play's J. Pierpont Finch). He even participates in some of the many musical numbers that keep cropping up at the darndest times.
Most of the silliness comes from Harvey Lembeck's familiar Eric Von Zipper and his gang of "stupids", with "Seinfeld" regular Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser turning up as their cohort in crime, the evil North Dakota Pete. The bike race finale throws any semblance of coherence or sanity to the winds, making the old Looney Tunes cartoons look like models of adult sophistication in comparison.
In addition to the great Keaton and Rooney, the film offers supporting roles and cameos from the likes of Brian Donlevy as Rooney's boss B.D. "Big Deal" McPherson and director William Asher's wife at the time, "Bewitched" star Elizabeth Montgomery, as (what else?) a witch. Frankie, by this time, was demanding more money and is relegated to just a few "Tahiti" scenes. Annette, bless her heart, is just as wonderful as ever.
Will Dwayne and Annette win the big race instead of the devious Von Zipper and Cassandra? Will Annette finally forget her vow to stay faithful to the unfaithful Frankie and give in to Dwayne's advances? Will the rest of the boys (including Jody McCrea's "Bonehead") forget hypnotic Cassandra and return their attention to the rest of the jealousy-inflamed girls? Will John Ashley sing another awful song? Will Mickey Rooney finish doing whatever it is that he's doing?
If you couldn't care less, there are probably a lot of other people who feel exactly the same way you do. I don't care that much myself, but as a lifelong beach movie lover, I sure do have a great time watching movies like HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI anyway. It's the ultimate in light entertainment, and if you take it lightly enough, the rational part of your brain will enjoy the vacation.
Originally posted on 10/26/21
I remember reading one of those capsule-review books that deemed director Richard Cunha's 1958 monster thriller FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER so bad as to be "practically unwatchable." Well, there's no denying it's definitely bad in a variety of ways. But for those of us who happen to like that quality in certain films, "unwatchable" it certainly isn't.
Cunha's list of films also includes GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN, MISSILE TO THE MOON, and the ever-popular SHE DEMONS, all of which share a similar appeal as low-budget fare with a certain something that just makes them fun to watch despite how lacking they may be in production values and polish.
For this effort, he continues the classic "Frankenstein" saga, this time in the form of the famous scientist's unhinged grandson, Oliver (Donald Murphy), who now goes under the name "Mr. Frank."
Oliver works as an assistant to benevolent old research scientist Prof. Morton (Felix Locher, familiar to "Star Trek" fans from the 1967 episode "The Deadly Years") but is really just using the old man's home laboratory to create an artificial being out of dead body parts as his forefathers did before him.
Meanwhile, Prof. Morton's cute teenage niece Trudy (Sandra Knight) is an unknowing test subject for Oliver, who slips her a formula that turns her into a "Miss Hyde"-type monster who runs around the neighborhood in a nightgown or bathing suit, terrorizing old ladies and such.
Her boyfriend Johnny (the great John Ashley, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, BEACH PARTY, BRIDES OF BLOOD) scoffs at her hazy memories of being a stalking beast, as do their friends Don (Harold Lloyd, Jr., son of the famous silent film comedian) and Suzie (sexy blonde Sally Todd, a former Playboy Playmate of the Month). Suzie will eventually throw boyfriend Don over for the scheming Mr. Frank, who plans to kill her and use her head on his patchwork creature.
From this brief description alone, one gets an idea of what a crazy mixed-up story this is, made all the better by earnest performances, an often downbeat and even noirish atmosphere (some of the black and white photography is actually quite good), some wonderfully wild scenes of Trudy during her monster rampage, and one of the worst monsters of all time, big-lug actor Harry Wilson (who specialized in brawny thug types) as "Frankenstein's Daughter."
Once we're told that the late Suzie's head has been transplanted onto the body of Oliver's monster, Wilson assumes the role under a badly-applied heavy makeup complete with lipstick-smeared lips and what appears to be a nylon jumpsuit with black rubber gloves.
It's quite a sight, seeing him do a sort of robotic walk while advancing on his hapless victims who must all back away slowly enough for him to catch them.
More fun comes when Prof. Morton persuades Trudy to have a pool party to cheer her up. Here, Page Cavanaugh and His Trio perform "Daddy Bird" and "Special Date" with vocal help from Harold Lloyd Jr. while Johnny and Trudy cook hot dogs for a gang of "teens" made up of MILFs and guys who look like they have their own teenage kids.
As the police and a not-too-bright Johnny close in on Oliver's nefarious undertakings, Donald Murphy keeps things hopping with his deliciously dastardly performance. Likable Sandra Knight, who would later co-star with then-husband Jack Nicholson in THE TERROR, wanders through the film in a daze, while John Ashley is his usual awesomely faux-Elvis self.
Director Cunha, who could keep things hopping even on a rock-bottom budget, delivers a film that looks good (thanks in no small part to The Film Detective's terrific new restoration--bonus features listed below) and has enough nutty plot twists to keep us mildly agog for the full running time, especially when that wildly improbable "female" monster is stalking the screen.
Naturally, those who don't enjoy bad movies as much as us junk-film junkies may very well agree with that old assessment of FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER as "practially unwatchable." But if you do get a kick out of them, this one should be right up your dark alley.
Buy it at Amazon.com
SPECIAL FEATURES:
Full Commentary track with Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
Full Color Booklet with original essay by Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
"RICHARD E. CUNHA: FILMMAKER OF THE UNKNOWN" - A new career retrospective from Ballyhoo Motion Pictures featuring an archival interview with director Richard E. Cunha
"JOHN ASHLEY: MAN FROM THE B'S" - A new career retrospective featuring film historian C. Courtney Joyner
Frankenstein’s Daughter
The Film Detective
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Original Release: 1958 (BW)
Not Rated
Running Time: 85 Minutes
Language: English
Subtitles: English, Spanish
SRP: $24.95 (Blu-ray) / $19.95 (DVD)
Discs: 1
UPC Code: 760137658283 (Blu-ray) / 760137658191 (DVD)
Catalog #: FB1014 (Blu-ray) / FD1014 (DVD)
Originally posted on 10/27/21
I'll admit, I had my initial doubts that THE AMAZING MR. X (The Film Detective, 1948) was going to be all that amazing, judging from the pics that made it look like some kind of faux-supernatural romance fantasy with a few mildly Gothic touches.
It didn't take long for director Bernard Vorhau (whose filmography contains several interesting-sounding films that I've never seen) and original story author Crane Wilbur (who wrote and directed the wonderfully hokey potboiler THE BAT) to dispel such notions.
Right off the bat, we find wealthy, still-grieving widow Christine (Lynn Bari, FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS, ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE KEYSTONE KOPS) rising from her bed in the dead of night and wafting onto the dizzying balcony of her mansion overlooking the ocean because she hears her dead husband Paul croaking her name from the great beyond.
This claim is met with skepticism by her ardent suitor Martin (Richard Carlson, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), who doesn't want to compete with a ghost for Christine's affections, and her kid sister Janet (Cathy O'Donnell, BEN HUR, THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES), who fancies herself more sensible and mature than her older sister.
Again right off the bat, this movie pulls us down into a dark sea of scintillating mystery and spooky atmosphere photographed in rich, gloomy black and white that's often quite beautiful.
That sheer cliff looming over the constantly rushing waves, along with stunning interiors of vast, ornate rooms strewn with shadows, makes for some exquisite production design which gives it all a noirish and at times dreamily indistinct quality.
Being in such a suggestible state makes Christine easy game for supposed psychic Mr. Alexis (Turhan Bey, THE MUMMY'S TOMB, THE MAD GHOUL) who promises to pierce the veil of the spirit world and put her in contact with Paul. But is he for real, or just a slick, money-grubbing phony?
Bey is just right as the handsome and very smooth Mr. Alexis, who pretty much had me convinced from their first nocturnal meeting on the beach. We then follow the investigation as a more logical-minded Martin hires a private detective to dig up dirt on "Mr. X." Even Janet does some undercover work as a prospective client but ends up taken in by the apparent huckster herself, finding him not only intriguing but also quite exotic.
What follows is a dizzying journey into the world of creepy seances, ghostly visitations, and other fever-dream stuff that's a pleasure to watch as the plot's various secrets slowly unravel themselves in satisfying fashion.
The two female leads are fine, especially the very young Cathy O'Donnell. Richard Carlson does the "mundane guy" routine to a tee. Also on hand is prolific character actress Virginia Gregg who would later enjoy a lead role in OPERATION PETTICOAT and turn up in the original DRAGNET movie as well. Donald Curtis appears as the apparition of dead but not quite gone Paul.
The Blu-ray from The Film Detective gives us a new 4K transfer restored from original 35mm film elements, the result being a treat for those who appreciate good old black and white photography. Special features consist of audio commentary from professor and film scholar Jason A. Ney, the original documentary "Mysteries Exposed: Inside the Cinematic World of Spiritualism", and a full color booklet with the essay "The Amazing Mr. Bey" by Don Stradley.
A very pleasant, and very spooky, surprise, THE AMAZING MR. X emerges from its seeming cinematic obscurity (for me, anyway) to offer lovers of old-fashioned supernatural thrillers a heady experience that's so deliciously dark and moody that it's almost immersively atmospheric.
Media Format : Anamorphic, Dolby, NTSC, Widescreen
Run time : 1 hour and 18 minutes
Subtitles: English, Spanish
Release date : October 26, 2021
Actors : Turhan Bey, Lynn Bari, Cathy O'Donnell
Studio : Film Detective
ASIN : B096WNY182
Country of Origin : USA
Originally posted on 12/12/21
Currently rewatching: My favorite Mary Pickford movie and one of my favorite silent films ever, DADDY-LONG-LEGS (1919), which I haven't seen since it was on PBS back in the 80s.
Mary is radiant and utterly disarming in this classic film that's filled with laughs and pathos.
As usual, Mary's fascinating facial expressions and physical acting are a delight and her slight stature enables her to play the plucky orphan character from pre-teen to young woman.
The story maintains a light tone most of the time despite some dark elements, such as Mary's character, Jerusha Abbott, being abandoned in a trash can as an infant and winding up in an orphange run by a cruel woman and her spiteful toady.
"Judy", as the children call her, is a rambunctious rebel and full of mischief, which Mary Pickford plays to the hilt.
We see her in lots of frantic action of this nature (the sequence in which she and a younger boy inadvertently get drunk is particularly funny) until the years pass and Judy, now a young woman, is sponsored by a mysterious benefactor--whom she knows only as "Daddy-Long-Legs"--and sent to college.
Mary handles the transition between pre-teen and young lady flawlessly, as two different upper-class boys vie for her affection while her benefactor, "John Smith", remains in the background.
In addition to struggling with romantic matters, she also must deal with the prejudice her classmates and acquaintances have for her "common" status.
While much of the story leans toward sentiment, it never becomes maudlin or descends into bathos even when Judy serves as a surrogate mother for a terminally-ill orphan.
All of the story elements are deftly interwoven and augmented by cleverly-written and rather witty intertitles and art. Direction, cinematography, and performances are uniformly fine.
I got a used copy of this rare DVD which, thank goodness, is in very good condition and features a great print of the film.
It even has a good musical score that was written for it and performed by a chamber orchestra.
This title along with TESS OF THE STORM COUNTRY and SPARROWS are my favorite Mary Pickford films. DADDY-LONG-LEGS in particular is one of the most delightfully entertaining silent films I've ever seen.
Originally posted on 1/31/19
A primer, a history, and a celebration of giallo all rolled into one 3-disc set, Severin Films' ALL THE COLORS OF GIALLO pretty much covers all the bases for new fans wanting to learn more and old ones who just want to revel in it all.
As the publicity states, "‘Giallo’ is Italian for ‘yellow’, the color of the lurid pulp novels that inspired one of the most intense, extreme and influential genres in movie history."
The genesis of all this is the krimi, or German crime novel, which contains elements (shadowy settings, shocking murders, mysterious phantom killers, police procedurals) that would later be adopted by Italian filmmakers but jacked up to new levels of violence and lavish indulgences in cinematic style for its own sake.
Originally posted on 4/20/21
Currently rewatching: MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969). The only X-rated film ever to win Best Picture (it was later reduced to an R).
The two great lead performances consist of Dustin Hoffman as skid row denizen "Ratso" Rizzo and Jon Voight as a naive Texas stud named Joe Buck who thinks he can make money hustling rich New York matrons who are "just beggin' for it."
Rarely has this sort of life been portrayed in such a bleak and desolate manner as the two unlikely friends struggle to scrape up a meager buck while living in a condemned building.
Joe's prospects grow dimmer every day, forcing him to engage in the lowest forms of prostitution, while Ratso's physical deterioration mirrors that of their increasingly hopeless living conditions.
John Schlesinger's creative direction and the sometimes free-form editing are amazingly, deliriously experimental.
Flashbacks, fantasies, and delusions often combine to turn the narrative into a fever dream that's alternately humorous (Ratso's fantasies of a sunbaked life in Florida) and frightening (Joe's garbled memories of childhood sexual and emotional confusion and warped romantic encounters).
Yet the funny, perversely sentimental, and at times achingly tragic story always remains grounded and strong, leading to a heartrending and overwhelmingly sad ending that is rendered for maximum effect with the skill of a virtuoso by director Schlesinger.
The supporting cast includes Brenda Vaccaro, Barnard Hughes, John McGiver, Sylvia Miles, and Bob Balaban. A dizzying party sequence features some familiar names associated with Andy Warhol and the New York avant garde scene.
I hadn't seen MIDNIGHT COWBOY for quite some time before revisiting it just now, and what I vaguely remembered as a "sad" ending hit me full force this time and I cried pretty much all the way through the closing credits. Some of the most innovative and creatively self-assured films ever made came out of the late 60s, and this is one of the best.
Originally posted on 6/18/22
The Film Detective does it again with a nicely-restored special edition of the 1957 fan favorite THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS, which looks way better now than most of us have ever had a chance to see it.
Of course, the scratchy old prints on my local station's afternoon movie show sufficed for me as a kid back in the 60s. While very low-budget and admittedly hokey at times, the film gave me chills back then and still delivers on sheer entertainment value for those of us who grew up on these lurid sci-fi/monster thrillers.
BRAIN boasts a solid cast, with genre stalwart John Agar as scientist Steve March, who stumbles upon strange radioactive signals coming from deep within a desert mountain. Robert Fuller plays Steve's assistant Dan, years before he would become a TV icon in such shows as "Laramie", "Wagon Train", and "Emergency."
Joyce Meadows vividly plays Steve bride-to-be Sally, who grows concerned when Steve returns from the cave without Dan and displaying strange, frightening new personality traits (including a wildly increased libido). This is because he's been taken over by Gor, an evil alien entity bent on conquering the world.
While Gor's appearance has evoked laughter from many viewers over the years--he's basically a giant floating brain with eyes--I've always had a fondness for both him and his counterpart, a benign floating brain named Vol whose mission is to capture the criminal fugitive.
Whenever Steve's body is ruled by Gor, it gives John Agar a chance to display maniacal, homicidal villainy as never before, which he seems to enjoy despite the pain caused by a pair of silver-painted contact lenses designed to make his eyes glow.
It was this indelible vision, and not the floating brains, that gave me such shivers as a kid as Steve/Gor gleefully blew up passenger planes and fried hapless victims with that sinister glare.
The film is skillfully and econically directed by Nathan Juran (aka Nathan Hertz), whose eclectic career also included such diverse titles as THE SEVENTH VOYAGE OF SINBAD and ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT WOMAN. Camerawork and lighting are particulary good, as is a rousing musical score by Walter Greene.
The disc from The Film Detective offers some nice featurettes (listed below) including a recently-shot tour of the film's outdoor locations with star Joyce Meadows, who also appears along with other guests in the commentary track by leading film historian Tom Weaver. Weaver also penned the illustrated booklet on the career of producer Jacques Marquette. Viewers of the film can choose between full-screen and matted widescreen.
Good production values, amusing dialogue, and a few actual chills are some of the reasons why THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS should appeal to fans of low-budget 1950s sci-fi thrillers. For a film which, on first glance, looks like just another of those "so bad it's good" flicks, it's actually not bad at all.
THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS
Retail Price: $29.95
Release Date: 6-21-2022
Runtime: 71 min.
Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Language: English
Closed Captions: English, Spanish
Color/BW: BW
SPECIAL FEATURES -
Full Color Booklet with original essay by Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
Full commentary track by historians Tom Weaver, David Schecter, Larry Blamire, and PLANET AROUS star, Joyce Meadows
The Man Before the Brain: Director Nathan Juran - an original Ballyhoo Motion Pictures production
The Man Behind the Brain: The World of Nathan Juran - an original Ballyhoo Motion Pictures production
The film will also be included in a full frame format, 1.33:1
Now including a special, all new, introduction by Actor Joyce Meadows!
Originally posted on 5/21/21
Currently watching: bouncy blonde beach goddess of the 1960s, Joy Harmon, in the incredibly obscure beach flick ONE WAY WAHINE (1965).
If you're a fan of the divine Joy Harmon, chances are you've already watched her magnum opus, VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (also from 1965) numerous times. You'll also have fond memories of her legendary car-washing scene in COOL HAND LUKE two years later.
And vintage TV fans will even recall her charming appearances with an eyebrow-waggling Groucho Marx on his classic 1950s-era shows "You Bet Your Life" and "Tell It To Groucho" under the name "Patty Harmon."
Joy popped up in several other movies and TV episodes during her career, which spanned from 1956 to 1973, but her only starring role seems to be in the little-known ONE WAY WAHINE. ("It rhymes with bikini!" the poster tells us.)
Shot on a miniscule budget by a long-forgotten production company, this odd little film features Joy as Kit, an impossibly tanned beach bunny who, when not drawing the attention of every man in sight sunbathing on a Hawaiian beach, likes to wander from party to party while making a meager living doing whatever she can to get by.
We first see her stretched out on a beach towel looking almost as dark as "Tan Mom" but without the use of a tanning booth. She's being ogled via binoculars by a couple of fugitives from a Chicago bank robbery, Charley and Hugo (character actors Lee Kreiger and Ken Meyer, familiar faces from such films as THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN and LITTLE BIG MAN), as they lounge on the balcony of their Hawaiian getaway pad.
When Kit's friend Lou (David Whorf) delivers some hooch to the crooked pair and deduces that they're sitting on a bundle of stolen cash, he enlists his roommate Chick (Anthony Eisley) to help cook up a plan to steal the stolen loot themselves by setting up Kit and Chick's girlfriend Brandy (Adele Claire) as call girls who will seduce the bank robbers and then slip a Mickey into their drinks.
From the plot description, one can easily surmise that this is anything but the usual "beach party" teen movie. In fact, it's hard to figure out just who the filmmakers were aiming this pleasantly odd diversion at besides Joy Harmon fans hoping to catch her in and out of her clothes while basking in her bubbly dumb-blonde (but not that dumb) persona. (Her energetic dance to the film's theme song is a highlight.)
And unlike the standard beach movies, there's no surfing, romantic complications, zany supporting characters (unless one counts a bearded, unrecognizable Edgar Bergen as aging beach bum Sweeney and "Green Acres" icon Alvy Moore as Kit's amorous landlord), or big-name rock 'n' roll stars.
In fact, most of the people in this movie are well past even pretending to be teenagers. (Pretty Adele Claire could even be described as a "milf.")
Despite various attempts at lightheartedness, the plan that our two main couples are hatching has an air of real danger about it (especially after we see bank robber Charley cleaning his automatic weapon which he always keeps at the ready).
When a dolled-up Kit and Brandy finally show up at Charley and Hugo's pad with knockout pills ready to slip into their drinks, the preliminary partying leads to one bad break after another for the girls until, to our dismay, fists start flying and the attempts at sex become wildly non-consensual. And the situation actually escalates from there.
While the first half of the film drags a bit and gives no indication that it will ever actually become more than a somewhat endearingly cheap novelty, the second half got my movie-watching juices flowing nicely. And the Hawaiian backdrop is a big improvement over the dreary beaches where Frankie and Annette used to hang out.
The cast is made up mainly of recognizable old pros (Eisley, Kreiger, Meyer, Bergen) who help us get past the film's low budget and its bland "point and shoot" directing style. (I won't comment on the image and color quality, sound, etc. since the copy I watched was anything but optimum.)
And of course there's the divine Joy, who provides fans with some delectable eye candy while fully displaying her sparkling personality. She's the main reason for spending time on a mildly diverting but otherwise wholly unexceptional obscurity like ONE WAY WAHINE, and it's to her credit that the time, for me anyway, felt not so badly spent.
Sure, he's always shooting at us through that gun barrel.
But how often has James Bond really broken the 4th wall and acknowledged our presence?
Or even talked to us?
I count three, and here they are...
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!
Originally posted on 9/25/21
Currently watching: LAND OF THE PHARAOHS (1955), a staggeringly epic film by Howard Hawks.
While not Biblically inspired, this breathtaking cinematic fever dream of ancient Egypt rivals the greatest works of Cecil B. DeMille in sheer spectacle, with huge sets and the proverbial cast of thousands.
It's the sort of thing that's mostly left to CGI effects whizzes these days, and the fact that it's all real--even the magic of matte paintings and other photographic effects of the time is sparse--makes the grandeur on display throughout the film even more impressive.
The story is simple yet compelling. Jack Hawkins plays the Pharaoh as one who believes himself a living god, and the thought of his tomb being raided of his precious store of treasures after his death prompts him to hire the greatest architect available to design for him a theft-proof tomb, nestled inside the largest pyramid ever built, which will take many years and hordes of slaves to complete.
The architect is himself a slave, but he persuades Pharaoh to release his people if the theft-proof tomb is a success. Meanwhile, Joan Collins (at her most gorgeous) plays a would-be queen whose avarice rivals Pharaoh's, and she conspires to have him entombed as soon as possible so that she may claim both the throne and the treasure.
How director Howard Hawks manages to make all this so compelling is a wonder to behold. The film is not only visually intoxicating but exceedingly literate (with William Faulkner among the screenwriters) and well acted.
Hawks stages it all to perfection, and seems to thrive on this sort of spectacle even without his trademark rapid-fire overlapping dialogue and touches of lighthearted humor.
While stately and exquisitely dry, the script also leaves Hawks plenty of room for the sort of gaudy visual and thematic indulgence which is the very stuff of the most satisfyingly over-the-top cult classics. This helps him keep things effortlessly involving for the film's entire running time, all the way up to the not-so-surprising yet still rewarding twist ending.
(Thanks to William De Lay for the DVD)
Originally posted on 5/22/21
Currently rewatching: SKI PARTY (1965). By this time, American-International were starting to see the writing in the sand, and, even though they still had a couple of "beach party" movies left in them, started trying to branch out into other areas of interest for ticket-buying teens.
Hence, this weird hybrid of beach-pic elements but with sand and surfing replaced by snow and skiing. This time we start off with our fun-loving teens still in college, on the verge of winter break and just roiling with hormones looking for somewhere to go and something to do.
Frankie Avalon is no longer make-out king "Frankie", but instead plays strike-out king "Todd", who, along with equally inept Craig ("Dobie Gillis" star Dwayne Hickman), spends every waking hour frantically trying to get to first base with the most romance-averse girls in the universe, Linda (Deborah Walley) and Barbara (a pre-Batgirl Yvonne Craig).
I mean, these girls are pathologically repelled by anything even slightly resembling hugging and kissing, to such a degree that they make Annette Funicello's "Dee-Dee" look like a raving nymphomaniac. (Which, in her brief cameo as a teacher, she sorta is, since we find her smooching away with a student at the drive-in.)
In one scene, the girls get together in their room for cocoa, pillow-fighting, and other girl-type stuff while enjoying a spirited discussion of all the things they've done to boys who tried to get next to them (one guy ended up with one arm, and another with a parole officer). And through it all, Linda and Barbara remain in a constant state of fuming indignance toward the guys for no apparent reason whatsoever.
Lucky for them, Todd and Craig are so irrationally devoted to winning these resolutely platonic party poopers as steady girlfriends that they follow them on a ski club field trip to the snowy slopes, despite not being able to ski.
This results in the usual sight gags about flying out-of-control down steep mountains on skis or sleds, screaming for their lives, as we cringe at the memory of various real-life celebrities who have done the same thing but with fatal results.
But that's nothing compared to some of the film's more cartoony gags, such as Todd attempting to win a ski jump contest by donning a scuba suit under his clothes and filling it with bottled helium until he's bloated like a weather balloon and drifting helplessly over the stunned crowd. Helpful pal Craig shoots him down with a starter pistol and Todd goes spewing all over the place as the helium escapes.
I won't even try to explain why, but a major plotline involves the boys disguising themselves as girls, "Some Like It Hot" style, and pretending to be Jane and Nora from England while looking about as much like actual females as Aldo Ray in drag.
