How "Tombstone" Should Have Ended (video)

 

"Tombstone" is pretty much the perfect Western...right?

Well, maybe and maybe not. Because after much extensive research and development... 

...we have come up with a way to actually improve the ending of this classic. 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

How "Tombstone" Should Have Ended (video)

THREADS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 2/4/18

 

One of the most rigidly uncompromising and dramatically brutal films you'll ever see, the BBC production THREADS (Severin Films, 1984) is the result of director Mick Jackson and writer Barry Hines' desire to present the effects of thermonuclear war on humanity in the most harshly realistic manner, both visually and thematically, as possible. 

It was beaten to the airwaves by the American Broadcasting Company's TV-movie THE DAY AFTER (directed by STAR TREK: THE WRATH OF KHAN's Nicholas Meyer), a film I like a lot but which, in comparison, only went about halfway in conveying the true horrors of an utterly ravaged post-nuclear society.

Now, of course, THREADS is rightly recognized as the true pinnacle of its kind, presenting, despite a budget of only half a million pounds and a shooting schedule of little over two weeks, what is with little doubt the most nightmarish, frightening, and ultimately disheartening film ever produced for television. 

Elements contributing to this include a cast of unknowns and a shooting style reminiscent of the British "kitchen sink" drama, showing everyday people going about their lives before and after the catastrophe which obliterates the very civilization upon which they depend for their survival.

Much early emphasis is placed upon simple comforts and joys of modern life, shot in extreme close-up inserts--a colander of fresh peas rinsed in clean water, a tin of cat food being opened, a handheld video game, a cold glass of milk, crocheting, etc.--things which we take for granted until they're all gone.

Everyday life itself is depicted through two families--one lower class, the other well-to-do--joined together by the love of a son, Jimmy Kemp (Reece Dinsdale), for a daughter, Ruth Beckett (Karen Meagher), engaged to be married due to her unexpected pregnancy. Their playful romance and optimistic plans for a simple but happy life together are darkened by an impending world-crisis situation growing increasingly troubling as constantly portrayed on TV and radio news. 

With the situation reaching a flashpoint, we see how local government and civil defense measures would be activated in the event of a nuclear attack.  Nobody really knows what they're doing and it all seems rather ineffectual, as will soon be proven out.  Meanwhile, the expected run on supermarkets and inevitable price gouging heighten the sense that the threads of civilization are in the first stages of unraveling at the seams.

As THREADS begins to weigh more heavily on the viewer, a dispassionate narrator delivers exposition concerning inexorable world events and the effects impending nuclear war will have on resources, infrastructure, utilities, and basic human needs. 

Even the teletype sound effect that accompanies the on-screen text becomes more and more unsettling. Before long, the film has established a sense of foreboding that increases with every new scene of panic and desperation as people grasp in vain for ways to avoid or escape what is coming.  The pleasures of everyday life we've been shown earlier are slipping away, replaced by fear and despair.

That's when the bombs hit and THREADS dials it all the way up to eleven with an almost fiendish resolve.  Despite the lack of expensive and elaborate special effects, the nuclear devastation is shown in  extremely graphic terms as director Jackson creates harrowing images that haunt and terrify.  What follows comes as close to depicting the unimaginable as any film has ever achieved.
   
The rest of THREADS details the eventual breakdown and disintegration of every aspect of civilized society and a return to the Dark Ages (or worse) with millions of unburied dead, radiation sickness and other deadly diseases sweeping the dwindling populace, rampant starvation, and the oncoming effects of the darkening deep-freeze of nuclear winter. 

We follow what's left of our main characters as they struggle, and mostly fail, to survive on an almost purely animal level.  The story pulls no punches whatsoever and, considering the filmmakers' limited resources, is masterfully realized in harshly effective visual terms and a narrative that's utterly riveting until the final, heartbreaking image sends THREADS off on a haunting and unforgettable note.

The Blu-ray disc from Severin Films is in the original full-screen with 1080p HD resolution (in other words, it looks a lot better than the copy I taped off the TV in the 80s) and English mono sound with subtitles.  A stocked bonus menu consists of director's commentary, a recent interview with actress Karen Meagher ("Ruth"), interviews with the film's director of photography and production designer, an interview with film historian Stephen Thrower, and the US and re-release trailers.

I first saw THREADS in the mid-80s when it was picked up by Ted Turner for broadcast on his TBS Superstation. Both as an unremittingly grim cautionary tale and a powerful documentary-style drama/horror film, it has lost absolutely none of its power. 

THREADS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

SLIPSTREAM (2005) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(NOTE: This was one of my first reviews from back in 2005 when I loved recapping the plots to movies in detail,  so there are a lot of spoilers here.)

 

There are plenty of time-travel stories about people going back hundreds, even thousands of years into the past.  But ten minutes?  If you think about it, this could come in quite handy in a wide range of day-to-day situations. 

You could win arguments, say just the right things to people you want to impress, avoid a variety of mishaps, missteps, and mistakes, or -- as Stuart Conway, inventor of The Slipstream Device, seems to have noticed -- you could cash the same paycheck over and over.

Stuart (Sean Astin, LORD OF THE RINGS) doesn't seem like a particularly dishonest person, but as SLIPSTREAM (2005) begins, we find that the beyond-top-secret government research agency that this beyond-intelligent-physicist is working for has cut the funding on his pet project and stuck him in a back room out of everyone's way. 

So, well, he's feeling a bit underappreciated lately, and decides to prove the validity of his theories on time travel by using his new invention, a "poly-dimensional translocation device" (which looks a lot like a cell phone) to cash his latest paycheck as many times as he wants to. 

So there he is, standing at the teller's window at the bank, trying in his worst beyond-super-geek way to sweet-talk the bank clerk he has a crush on, when a particular observation he makes about the highly distracting properties of her low-cut blouse prompts her to pick up the decaf, non-fat, soy concoction she's been sipping and hurl it right at his face. 

Reflexively, he whips out his Slipstream Device and pushes a button.  The liquid slows to a snail's pace and then freezes in mid-air.  Then it begins to retrace its path back into her cup.  Time suddenly zips backward ten minutes -- and their encounter is now at its starting point again.  Cool! he thinks giddily.  While she's counting out my money again, I'll have another chance to shower her with suave witticisms!

Suddenly the doors to the bank fly open and in bursts a band of armed bank robbers, a motley assortment of scruffy, lower-class Brits led by Winston Briggs (Vinnie Jones) and his punky fiancee of twelve years, Gillian (Victoria Bartlett), who are extreme movie fans and fancy themselves as either Bonnie and Clyde or Butch and Sundance according to the situation.  And the situation gets a lot tenser when two FBI agents who have been keeping Stuart under surveillance whip out their guns. 

At first it's a standoff, but in no time there's a heap o' lead flying around, and one of the slugs catches Stuart right in the chest.  The robbers take the money and run.  Agent Sarah Tanner (Ivana Milicevic, CASINO ROYALE) rushes to Stuart's aid.  He tells her to pick up the device and press the button, which she does. 

In a flash, it's ten minutes earlier and Sarah is back standing with her partner Jake (Kevin Otto) before the robbery.  Since she was holding the device when it was activated, she is aware of the time-jump and is understandably flabbergasted.  She looks at Stuart, then at the clock, and realizes that a bank robbery is about to occur.

Or reoccur, that is.  This time there's even more shooting, and things go even more wrong.  Jake runs outside in pursuit of the fleeing bank robbers, and is shot dead as they escape.  Sarah is stricken with grief because she's in love with Jake -- they've even been perusing the classifieds for a nice house to move into together -- and it dawns on her that if Stuart is able to turn back the clock ten minutes, he can save Jake's life. 

One problem, though -- the bank robbers have The Slipstream Device!  And if she and Stuart don't get it back within ten minutes, they won't be able to go back in time far enough to save Jake!

And that's just the start of it!  (Pardon me while I catch my breath.)  Briggs and his gang have a freeway crack-up in their van and end up taking a busload of people hostage.  Sarah and Stuart try to get on the bus, but Briggs shoots Stuart -- again.  So Sarah has to tell him about the device in order to be able to use it to save Stuart.  Briggs thinks this would be a great way to rob the same bank over and over.  When the chopper he's demanded arrives, he and Gillian rig the bus to explode and take off with their gang and Stuart in tow. 

Fast-forward a bit (we can do that, even if Stuart can't) and we find Briggs and Stuart on an airplane headed out of the country.  Sarah has managed to board the same plane.  She gets The Slipstream Device away from Briggs, but it is broken in the struggle.  Briggs would rather die than be caught, so he shoots out a window, and the sudden decompression causes the plane to go into a dive. 

The pilots try their best to pull out, but there's a really big mountain in their windscreen, and it's getting bigger and bigger.  To make things worse, a stewardess whacks Briggs over the head with a fire extinguisher while he's pointing his gun at Sarah, causing him to shoot her at point blank range.  Sarah goes down, dead.  The plane hits the mountain.

As you can see, a lot happens in this movie, and most of it is pretty entertaining.  It's a bit derivative at times -- the bank sequence reminded me a lot of an old OUTER LIMITS episode with Barry Morse, Grace Lee Whitney, and Carroll O'Connor called "Controlled Experiment", in which a woman shoots her husband in a fit of jealousy and a Martian who has come to Earth to study the act of murder uses a device to replay the event backwards, forwards, in slow-motion, etc., and the climax owes a bit to 1964's THE TIME TRAVELERS, although I have no idea whether or not the filmmakers have seen it. 

But there's also a great deal of inventiveness going on here.  David van Eyssen throws everything but the kitchen sink into his directing style at times, especially in the bank shoot-outs that get wilder and more dizzyingly cinematic (though a bit overdone) with every ten-minute replay.  The final moments aboard the airplane are nice -- time stands still, or is slowed down and extended so that we're able to appreciate the effects that certain actions or events have on the characters at crucial instances, and then images begin to flash by and become almost subliminal impressions rushing toward the inevitable conclusion. 

The actors are all very good in their roles, so much so that you even begin to care about the bad guys (Vinnie Jones and Victoria Bartlett make a lovely couple).  Sean Astin and Ivana Milicevic are appealing leads.  The musical score by Rob Lord is outstanding. 

This isn't a great film by any means, but it's definitely a thought-provoking, action-packed good time.  Ten minutes after it was over, I pressed the button on my poly-dimensional translocation device (okay, my DVD player) and watched it again.

SLIPSTREAM (2005) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Two Fun Bloopers from "OUR MAN FLINT" (1966) (video)

(1) During the explosive finale of the James Coburn spy thriller OUR MAN FLINT (1966), everyone's in a blind panic--except for the guy who doesn't know he's in the shot. 

(2) Later, Gila Golan proves she has a thick skull when a rubber boulder bounces off of it. 


MUSIC: DJ QUADS

Two Fun Bloopers from "OUR MAN FLINT" (1966) (video)

DEEPWATER HORIZON -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/3/17

If you could combine the raw thrills of the old-time disaster epics like THE TOWERING INFERNO, EARTHQUAKE, and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE with a literate script and a story whose basis in fact gives it both realism and a genuine poignance--well, you'd have something.  And that something would be DEEPWATER HORIZON (2016).

The 2010 explosion in the Gulf of Mexico of the offshore drilling rig "Deepwater Horizon" is vividly depicted in this fast-paced and thoroughly engrossing film, which pays as much attention to the personal stories of its characters as it does to the dazzling and often heart-stopping action.

Mark Wahlberg plays chief engineer Mike Williams, who leaves his faithful wife Felicia (Kate Hudson) and young daughter behind for a three-week stint aboard the title rig, which is actually a large, untethered ship from which a probing pipeline, the deepest ever, is drilled into the ocean floor in search of oil deposits to be harvested later.

When he and his boss, known affectionately by all as "Mister Jimmy" (Kurt Russell), find that corners are being cut and safety measures ignored by the arrogant, penny-pinching company executive Vidrine (John Malkovich), their urgent warnings are ignored. 

Naturally, disaster is imminent, and by that I mean the kind of "disaster-movie" disaster which, if done right, can keep us on the edge of our seats from the first fiery blast to the last smokey cinder.

Director Peter Berg (late of "Chicago Hope" and director of such films as FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS and PATRIOTS DAY) knows exactly how to handle a movie like this, starting out with a slowly building sense of unease and gradual increase of tension as the drilling technicians are ordered to exert pressure on the submerged pipeline that we, along with our two main heroes, know it can't handle.

The fact that these characters are based on real people whom we get to know and like as they go about their daily lives gives the prospect of their imminent peril even more gravitas.  Wahlberg and Russell are experts at playing this kind of blue-collar hero, with Gina Rodriguez as rig designer Andrea and Dylan O'Brien as drilling floor worker Caleb also adept. 

On the opposite end, John Malkovich plays the coldly-calculating company man Vidrine to the fullest of his considerable abilities. Not too sure about his accent, though--I think it's supposed to be cajun but it's kind of hard to tell. Russell's real-life daughter Kate, on the other hand, seems to have done a little homework on hers.

The first half of the film is all suspense mixed with, in my case, a sort of wide-eyed awe at the vastness and complexity of this modern offshore drilling rig whose bridge resembles that of a futuristic starship. 

We're made even more uneasy when it becomes clear that the new vessel is ridden with bugs and woefully unprepared for what's to come--nothing seems to work, not even the telephones, and even worse, not even crucial alarm systems. 

When the inevitable occurs at about the halfway point, DEEPWATER HORIZON suddenly becomes one of the most mind-bogglingly epic and consistently thrilling action flicks I've seen in many years.  Everything hits the fan once the big pressure test on the pipeline goes wrong, and when this monster goes up in flames, the result is one of the most astounding and downright hellish conflagrations ever filmed.

After that, the latter half of DEEPWATER HORIZON is pure non-stop action and suspense mixed with heartrending human drama which director Berg pulls off with nary a misstep. 

Camerawork and editing are exquisite, while the SPFX, including an amazing full-scale mockup of the rig itself topped by a working heliport, are a near-flawless combination of practical and digital effects which help to engage the viewer in a thrillingly immersive experience.    

The two-disc set from Lionsgate's Summit Entertainment offers the feature film on both Blu-ray (1080P High Definition 16x9 Widescreen) and DVD (16x9 Widescreen) in addition to instructions on downloading a digital copy.  Needless to say, picture and audio quality are excellent.

Blu-ray Audio: English Dolby Atmos (Dolby TrueHD compatible), Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital, English 2.0 Dolby Digital Audio Optimized for Late-Night Listening, English Descriptive Audio.  DVD Audio: English 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio, English Descriptive Audio. Subtitles are in English and Spanish.

Blu-ray extras consist of the following featurettes:

“Beyond the Horizon” Hour-Long Five-Part Series
“Captain of the Rig: Peter Berg” Featurette
“The Fury of the Rig” SPFX Featurette
“Deepwater Surveillance” Raw Footage Featurette
“Work Like An American” Tributes

The DVD contains “The Fury of the Rig”, “Deepwater Surveillance” and "Work Like an American."

All too rarely does a movie comes along which sets out to do something amazing and then does it so well that it leaves the viewer in a state of prolonged astonishment.  DEEPWATER HORIZON does exactly that, and I would, without hesitation, call it one of the finest and most spectacular action/disaster epics that I have ever seen.

DEEPWATER HORIZON -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

GRACE KELLY COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/4/14

Although widely regarded as one of the leading Hollywood actresses of all time, Grace Kelly always struck me as a nice but rather unexciting presence. This is probably why I never sought her out but simply happened to see her in various movies that I was going to watch anyway, such as Alfred Hitchcock's REAR WINDOW and other such familiar titles as HIGH NOON and THE COUNTRY GIRL.

These three, in fact (out of a total of eleven), are the only Grace Kelly movies I'd seen before tucking into the 7-disc DVD set GRACE KELLY COLLECTION (2014) from Warner Home Video, which includes MOGAMBO (1953), THE BRIDGES OF TOKO-RI (1954), DIAL M FOR MURDER (1954), THE COUNTRY GIRL (1954), TO CATCH A THIEF (1955), and her final film, HIGH SOCIETY (1956). (Disc 7 contains her final interview, entitled "Princess Grace De Monaco: A Moment in Time.")



After that last filmic effort, her seemingly charmed life of rich girl turned model turned Oscar-winning actress (not to mention former Girl Scout) reached its storybook peak when she met and married Prince Rainier in 1956 and became Princess Grace of Monaco.

 

As in Hollywood, Her Royal Highness lived up to her name, exuding...well, "grace"...while giving birth to three children and being beloved by her subjects (all the while still courted in vain by Hollywood) until her tragic death in a car crash in 1982.

"I came to success very quickly," she once said, according to IMDb. "Perhaps too quickly to value its importance." While probably true, she seemed to "find herself" in her second life away from the tinsel-strewn decadence of Hollywood. But her cool beauty and elegant demeanor remain for film fans to appreciate in the movies that she left behind. Thanks to this DVD collection, I'm finally beginning to appreciate her considerably more myself.



In MOGAMBO (1953), her third film (for which she received an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress in a Supporting Role), Grace Kelly plays Linda Nordley, the timid, pampered wife of anthropologist Donald (Donald Sinden), with whom she has traveled to the wilds of Africa in search of gorillas to study. Their guide is a rough, uncouth big-game hunter named Vic Marswell (an aging but still great Clark Gable) who traps animals for circuses and zoos.

 

Vic is currently semi-involved with the darkly beautiful Eloise Y. Kelly (a gorgeous young Ava Gardner), a soiled-dove city gal marooned in Vic's wilderness compound after being dumped there by a duplicitious maharajah. But the arrival of the Nordleys creates a heated love triangle between Vic, Eloise, and the unhappy-in-marriage Linda--whose skittish vulnerability prompts burly Vic to become hopelessly smitten--turning their gorilla-country expedition into a jungle soap opera.

Along with the slow-moving and only mildly engaging melodrama, virtuoso director John Ford gives us plenty of breathtaking African scenery in glorious Technicolor. Authentic African tribespeople and locations lend the production an air of authenticity that helps offset the hokey "forbidden love" story, as does our simple enjoyment in watching the appealing Gable and Gardner injecting a little life into things.

Grace Kelly, meanwhile, inhabits her flighty character to a tee, which viewers will probably find either endearing or annoying. Your reaction to this remake of the 1932 Clark Gable-Jean Harlow film RED DUST may fall along similar lines. Personally, I prefer the similarly-themed Howard Hawks comedy-adventure HATARI!, but found MOGAMBO to be a passable time-waster which, thanks to Africa and Ava, looks terrific. Gable and Kelly, however, are hardly a romantic screen couple for the ages.

Director Mark Robson's THE BRIDGES AT TOKO-RI (1954) finds Grace in a role which barely gives her enough screen time to make an impression. She plays Nancy, the wife of fighter pilot Lt. Harry Brubaker (William Holden), currently assigned to an aircraft carrier in order to help fight the Korean War.

Nancy brings their two daughters to Tokyo to meet the carrier when it docks and give Harry a pleasant surprise, but their romantic reunion is interrupted when he must leave to rescue buddies Mickey Rooney and Earl Holliman (who saved Harry's life that very day when his jet went down in the freezing ocean) after the two helicopter jockeys land in the brig. With little to do otherwise, Grace's best moment in the film is when her family ends up bathing nude with a Japanese family (as per local custom) and the result is a charming intermingling of disparate cultures.

Grace gets second billing here but it really belongs to Fredric March as Rear Admiral Tarrant, who takes an interest in Harry since the young pilot reminds him of his son who was killed in WWII. March is excellent portraying the wisdom and compassion of an officer with the responsibility of sending Harry and his fellow pilots on a highly dangerous mission to knock out the titular target (which could hasten the end of the war) while agonizing over their possible fate.

This film was produced during that magical Hollywood era when they could still make war pictures that were stirring and patriotic (instead of cynical and downbeat) while still exploring the human side of the soldiers involved--particularly their psychology and that of their loved ones, often encompassing feelings of disillusionment and isolation, with even a little existentialism thrown in.

"Militarily, this war is a tragedy" Admiral Tarrant laments at one point, while Brubaker (nicely played by a vibrant young Holden) feels cheated that this new war has forced him to give up the life he'd begun to forge after having already served in WWII.

Rooney and Holliman, two of my favorite actors, also give solid performances as the intrepid helicopter rescuers. They figure prominently in the film's exciting conclusion which, after some tense action aboard the aircraft carrier, comes to a head during the final thrilling raid on Toko-Ri.

This sequence is loaded with incredible aerial footage and top-notch special effects (reminiscent, I thought, of the rebel fighters' attack on the Death Star in STAR WARS) and is topped by a harrowing firefight on the ground in which the lives of our heroes are in grave jeopardy. THE BRIDGES OF TOKO-RI may not be one of the all-time greatest of war films, but it's a solid, affecting effort that should remain in your memory for some time.

Grace Kelly's first association with Alfred Hitchcock came in 1954 with DIAL M FOR MURDER, adapted by Frederick Knott from his own stage play. The theatrical origins of the story are apparent since Hitchcock made little effort to hide them--indeed, he probably considered the limited locations (most of the action takes place in a single apartment) a challenge along the same lines as LIFEBOAT and ROPE.

In one of the disc's bonus featurettes, "Hitchcock and Dial M", Peter Bogdanovich relates that in directing the film Hitchcock didn't feel the need to "open it up" cinematically, fearing that this would interfere with the play's intricate construction.

And he finds enough with which to busy himself artistically to keep things visually interesting while briskly moving the dialogue-driven plot along--in particular, since the film was originally released in 3D, Hitchcock seems inspired to explore the possibilities of this novelty device without resorting to the more obvious gimmicks.

Ray Milland is at his slimy-smooth best as former tennis pro Tony Wendice, now living with wife Margot (Kelly) in a luxurius apartment in London. The arrival of an old friend from the USA, Mark Halliday (Robert Cummings)--with whom Margot once had an affair--helps set into motion Tony's plan to murder Margot for her money and blame it on a blackmail scheme gone wrong.

To carry out the murder, Tony hires a cash-strapped con man named Lesgate (Anthony Dawson, who, as "Professor Dent", was famously executed by agent 007 in the first James Bond film, DR. NO). Their lengthy dialogue scene in which Tony lays out his plan in intricate detail is talky, almost static, yet Hitchcock and his able cast manage to bring the script to vivid life as we hang on every word.

The actual murder scene is executed (so to speak) with exquisite suspense, helped in no small part by Grace Kelly's outstanding performance as the frantic victim. Later, during the investigation, the introduction of a new character in the form of Chief Inspector Hubbard (John Williams, whom many baby-boomers will recognize as Sebastian Cabot's replacement in the TV series "Family Affair") turns DIAL M FOR MURDER into a crackerjack investigative procedural reminiscent of "Columbo" in that the actual culprit arrogantly underestimates the detective. The resulting cat-and-mouse game of wits makes this suspense thriller one to savor.

A busy year for Grace, 1954 would bring what was arguably her greatest success as an actress--namely, the Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of Georgie Elgin in director George Seaton's Best Picture contender THE COUNTRY GIRL. Bing Crosby snagged a Best Actor nomination as Georgie's alcoholic husband Frank. (The movie received seven nominations in all.)

William Holden's back and bursting with energy in the role of Bernie Dodd, a hot-shot Broadway director who ignores his backers' misgivings by wanting to hire the washed-up Frank for the lead role in a new musical despite his potential unreliability. After a successful audition, insecure Frank disappears when he discovers he's up for the pivotal part instead of a simple supporting role. Bernie tracks him down to convince him that he can handle it--but can he?

As Frankie's mousey wife Georgie, Grace Kelly gains extra critical cred by toning the glamour dial way down. In fact, she's probably as close to "dowdy" here as our future princess could possibly get without going full Jane Hathaway. (Bernie evens chides Georgie for trying to hard to look plain.)

Since their young son (a pre-"Lassie" Jon Provost) was killed while in Frank's care, the distraught dad has been on a downward spiral that Georgie's tried her best to stop even if it means overly protecting him to the point of being domineering, of which Bernie accuses her. When the play's early notices aren't exactly glowing and Frank starts hitting the bottle again, it becomes apparent to Bernie that Georgie's influence over her husband may have been more crucial than he suspected. Not only that, but more secrets about Frank's past come to light which convince Bernie he's got a much bigger problem on his hands than he ever imagined.

Grace not only holds her own next to both Holden and a very effective Crosby, but spars expertly with them in several emotionally-charged exchanges that really give her acting skills a workout. Any reservations I might've had about her getting by mainly on girlish good looks and an elegant charm are put to rest watching her make the most of this demanding role. One thing's for sure after the fadeout--she deserved that Oscar. THE COUNTRY GIRL skirts the line between pathos and bathos and ends up just on the right side of it with a satisfying conclusion which rewards our emotional investment in it.

Hitchcock rears his familiar head again (see if you can spot it) in TO CATCH A THIEF (1955), a smoothly sophisticated vehicle in which some of the director's favorite actors get to engage in shadowy intrigue laced with coy dialogue and wry witticisms.

The French Riviera forms a gorgeous backdrop for this tale of a reformed cat burglar, John "The Cat" Robie (Cary Grant), trying to prove his innocence after a new rash of daring jewel thefts put him under intense police suspicion. How to do that, you ask? Simple--he hangs around some of the most likely future targets at the most expensive beachfront hotel, hoping to catch the unknown thief in the act.

Not surprisingly, the most prominent potential victims turn out to be lovely playgirl Frances Stevens (our own Grace Kelly) and her mother Jessie (Jessie Royce Landis, who'd play Grant's mother in NORTH BY NORTHWEST), who is practically dripping with priceless jewelry at all times. It's not hard to guess that John and Frances will form a mutual infatuation, especially when she figures out his true identity and excitedly expresses interest in joining him in his next heist.

As a refined but irreverent heiress living the life of leisure, Kelly is as far removed from THE COUNTRY GIRL as one can get. But her seductive playgirl is cool as a champagne cocktail despite an effort by the actress to loosen up. Even in the heat of passion, she's as flawless and silky-smooth as the sumptuous frosting on a wedding cake.

Not that I mind, of course--what man wouldn't want to romance such a woman at least once in his life? And especially a man who happened to be as impossibly handsome and effortlessly suave as Cary Grant?

Indeed, in addition to the delectable mystery and giddy suspense which Hitchcock (as expected) handles like the virtuoso that he is, one of the irresistible attractions of TO CATCH A THIEF is seeing two of the most beautiful people in Hollywood history having a ticklish go at each other with postcard-pretty France as their playground. Hitchcock's having fun here, and he wants us to have fun, too. And we do.

Wrapping up both Grace Kelly's career and this DVD set in fine style is her final film, HIGH SOCIETY (1956), MGM's musical remake of THE PHILADELPHIA STORY which starred Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, and James Stewart. The film was rushed into production since Grace was already preparing to marry Prince Rainier and leave showbiz forever, and her cinematic swan song ended up breaking box office records upon release.

As "Tracy Lord", Grace is back to being a pampered rich girl, only moreso--she's on pins and needles planning her upcoming wedding to some stiff named George Kittredge (John Lund) whom we know doesn't have a chance in hell because Tracy's cutely tomboyish li'l sister Caroline (Lydia Reed, pretty much a Virginia Weidler clone) doesn't like him and prefers Tracy's easygoing ex-husband C.K. Dexter-Haven, or "Dexter" (Bing Crosby), whom Tracy rejected because, among other negligible reasons, he chooses that awful lowbrow jazz over serious music.

One of those hyperactive romantic comedies brimming with "comic complications", HIGH SOCIETY tries so hard to be lighthearted it tends to be lightheaded at some times, and turgid at others. Bing, of course, comes off as smooth as molasses and just as thick--it's fun watching him try to be "breezy." He does have that voice, though, and we can't blame even the great Louie "Satchmo" Armstrong (he and his band serve as the story's Greek chorus) for wanting to jam along with it.

Grace, meanwhile, has that coltish quality Peter Bogdanovich was aiming for when he cast Cybill Shepherd in AT LONG LAST LOVE (although in Cybill's case the word "horsey" might be more apt), breathlessly reciting wisecracks and pithy exclamations while hitting all her marks as though running the bases. She isn't quite "funny" as much as she's simply formidable, although when things veer more toward the dramatic she handles herself with aplomb.

Helping to round out the stellar cast are Frank Sinatra and Celeste Holm as correspondents for a cheap gossip rag who've been allowed to cover the wedding lest a damning story about Tracy's father Seth (Sidney Blackmer) be printed. They, too, are obviously meant to be together, so of course Frank will fall for Tracy while Celeste fends off the advances of Tracy's elderly Uncle Willie (Louis Calhern).

In turns amusing and tiresome, HIGH SOCIETY is a harmless way to pass some time in between worthwhile moments such as Bing and Grace dueting on "True Love", the hit song that earned them both gold records. The Cole Porter score itself isn't one of his most stellar achievements--the song and dance interludes seem rather shoehorned in at times--but it's kind of fun anyway. The same can be said for the film as a whole.

The title of the set's seventh disc, "Princess Grace De Monaco: A Moment in Time", is tragically ironic since she would be gone only ten short days later. Producer-director Robert Kline and journalist Pierre Salinger went to Monaco to interview the princess in her natural surroundings, encountering a still-lovely woman who seemed happy, confident, and at peace with herself.

She speaks at length and with great pride of Monaco, which she describes as "a little wedge between Italy and France that has managed to survive all the upheavals of history." Also discussed are the challenges of parenthood, the differences between American and European cultures, why monarchy can be beneficial, etc. Interestingly, Salinger dwells less upon the expected show business questions in favor of exploring Princess Grace as a person who exudes wisdom and intelligence.

As an actress, Grace Kelly often came off as such an "ice goddess" that it made her moments of warmth even more appealing. And there were more of these than I previously suspected, denoting the range and versatility of an actress who played a sheltered, sexually-naive prig in MOGAMBO, a devoted wife and mother in THE BRIDGES AT TOKO-RI, a two-timing spouse-slash-victim in DIAL M FOR MURDER, a plain-Jane pillar of domestic integrity in THE COUNTRY GIRL, a jet-set playgirl in TO CATCH A THIEF, and a romantically-confused heiress in HIGH SOCIETY. Warner Home Video's GRACE KELLY COLLECTION gives us all of these personas, and, like Grace Kelly herself, they're worth getting to know.

Special features:

Mogambo--theatrical trailer

The Bridges at Toko-Ri--theatrical trailer

Dial M for Murder--"Hitchcock and Dial M", "3D: A Brief History", theatrical trailer

The Country Girl--none

To Catch a Thief--commentary by Peter Bogdanovich and Laurent Bouzereau, "Writing and Casting To Catch a Thief", "The Making of To Catch a Thief", "Alfred Hitchcock and To Catch a Thief: An Appreciation", Edith Head: The Paramount Years", theatrical trailer

High Society--"Cole Porter in Hollywood: True Love", premiere newsreel, radio ads, Tex Avery cartoon ("Millionaire Droopy", 1956), trailers for this and "The Philadelphia Story", production notes (text)

Plus: thirteen colorful mini-posters and production stills and Bing Crosby's personal remembrance of Grace Kelly

Format: Multiple Formats, Box set, Collector's Edition, Color, Dolby, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)

Official WB Shop
Official Facebook

Street date: July 29

GRACE KELLY COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle

Addams Family: "Wednesday & Pugsley's Halloween Costumes" (10/24/64) (video)

 

(Originally posted on 10/23/19)

 

It's Halloween night for Wednesday and Pugsley...

...who have chosen the most frightening costumes imaginable.

They're dressed as "normal people"!

So scary are these costumes that they must recite a pre-prepared disclaimer...

"Do not be alarmed. We are only little children."


Film clips are the exclusive property of MGM

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!
 

Addams Family: "Wednesday & Pugsley's Halloween Costumes" (10/24/64) (video)

GRANNY OF THE DEAD -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/7/17

With all the zombie flicks crawling out of the woodwork and trying to take a bite out of us ever since George Romero assailed us with NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD way back in 1968, you'd think the genre would be nothing more than a withered, decaying corpse by now. 

But then, every once in a while a movie like GRANNY OF THE DEAD (2017) shambles along to breathe new life into it.

There's not a whole lot of exposition.  We meet a group of fun-loving youths having a reunion in an old church in the hinterlands of Wales, but barely get to know them before they're chased away by an old lady who then seems to get taken over by an unseen force and transformed into a slavering, black-eyed zombie.

Obviously some diabolical curse has descended upon this small Welsh town, because immediately all of its older people begin to get infected as well and morph into some of the most horrific, unstoppable zombies you've ever seen. 

Ed (Marcus Carroll), whom we met earlier at the church, wakes up to find his nan coming at him like a deranged spider monkey and hungering for his flesh.  Not only is she extremely frightful-looking, but she seems to have been mainlining Geritol as well.

We're barely ten minutes into GRANNY OF THE DEAD and already the full-scale zombie attack is on.  Barricaded in his room against his living-dead nan, he observes all manner of ghastliness through his window while trying to contact his friends via cell phone.

 

They, it turns out, all have similar problems with the various flesh-hungry oldsters who are either shambling, lurching around with walkers, or sprinting after them with such vigor that their prey must scramble to stay out of reach.  Some even manage to operate heavy machinery.

The gore is plentiful and the zombie action comes fast and furious.  Things really get going when Ed decides he must escape from his room and confront the zombies head on.  Meanwhile, his friends all have their hands full with touch-and-go situations of their own.

Writer-director Tudley James (SHARKNADO) handles it with a sort of anything-goes style that's consistently interesting, bombarding us with hand-held shots, Dutch angles, jittery camerawork and editing, and whatever else it takes to keep our nerves stretched taut.

These are some ugly zombies, too, and best of all, they're actually scary.  In fact, much of the film consists of nerve-jangling scenes of blood-chilling suspense that should keep you on the edge of your seat despite an undercurrent of mordant satire. 

The story is rife with a very dry, deadpan humor that's played absolutely straight (performances are excellent) and doesn't detract at all from the horror effect.  It's dark, dense, with the intertwined currents of morbid humor (I especially loved the JURASSIC PARK reference) and ghastly horror making it all the more effective.

Brimming with all-out gory goodness, GRANNY OF THE DEAD is the real deal for zombie fanatics, a living dead flick that's both exciting and full of genuine shivery scares and apocalyptic atmosphere.  I had a giddy good time watching it.


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grannyofthedeadmovie/
Twitter: @Grannyofthedead

Read our original coverage

Watch the trailer:

GRANNY OF THE DEAD -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE TOM WEAVER INTERVIEW

 

[NOTE: This interview originally appeared online in October 2005.]

If you watch a lot of horror and sci-fi movies on DVD, chances are you've listened to a Tom Weaver commentary track. You may also have read some of his many celebrity interviews in magazines such as "Fangoria", "Starlog", and "Video Watchdog." He has penned several books of interest to genre fans, including ATTACK OF THE MONSTER MOVIE MAKERS, SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY FILM FLASHBACKS, and THEY FOUGHT IN THE CREATURE FEATURES.

Tom lives in Sleepy Hollow, New York, which is a pretty good place for a noted horror film historian to live. Recently he was nice enough to offer his responses to some some questions that I'm sure a lot of horror fans would like to ask.

porfle: Thanks very much for taking the time to answer some questions for us. Can you give us a preview of any current projects you may be working on?

Tom: For better or worse, my attention span has gotten so short that, to keep my enthusiasm way up, it helps to have a bunch of projects going at once, so that when one gets to be a bit of a drag, I can jump to something else. I'm still pumping out the interviews--I just did one that I really enjoyed, talking to Lee Meriwether about playing Catwoman in the old BATMAN movie. The Brunases and I are updating and slightly expanding UNIVERSAL HORRORS, and my friend Steve Kronenberg and I are doing a sequel, UNIVERSAL HORRORS--THE 1950S.

I've also just finished helping an actor named Paul Picerni--he was the hero in HOUSE OF WAX, he was the number two man on THE UNTOUCHABLES with Robert Stack--write his autobiography.

porfle: Who were your best interview subjects? Most fascinating, most cooperative, most informative, etc.

Tom: Well, I consider ALL of them cooperative--the ones who WEREN'T cooperative, didn't talk to me at all! The Donnie Dunagan [young Peter von Frankenstein in SON OF FRANKENSTEIN] interview I did last year was very well-received--he had fabulous stories, and that's certainly ONE of my favorites right now. But one that got less attention, but which I thought was just as good, was the one I did with Arch Hall Jr.
No, his movies, EEGAH and THE SADIST, don't have the number of fans SON OF FRANKENSTEIN does, but for a guy who supposedly won't GIVE interviews, I found him to be fabulously forthcoming. He answered every question--and I had SCORES of 'em!--in detail, and I don't get the impression he held ANYthing back. There was so little behind-the-scenes info "out there" about some of his movies that I really felt like the interview he gave was really something special. Well, for fans of Fairway Films, anyway!

porfle: And now I have to ask -- who was the worst?
(No names necessary, but it would be nice.)

Tom: The worst are the ones who you call up...who say, grudgingly, "Okay, okay, I'll give you an interview, call me next week." So you re-watch some of the movies and you hit the library and you prepare a list of questions, you put a lot of time into it, and then when you call back, they say, "Y'know what? I've thought about it some more, and...no thanks." Dan Haller did that to me, Bert I. Gordon, Arthur Franz--there've been a bunch, I'm afraid.

porfle: You've met a lot of celebrities associated with the genre. Who would you say was generally the nicest one? Who was the biggest jerk? (No names necessary, but...)

Tom: Well, the nicest ones are UNBELIEVABLY nice--after the interview, THEY do half of the work involved in maintaining contact and maintaining a FRIENDSHIP, even. Some have even, out of the blue, encouraged me to stay at their HOUSE whenever I come to California! Robert Shayne, who was Inspector Henderson on SUPERMAN [the TV series], was the first to make that offer, I think--I didn't take him up on it, but he was obviously sincere. Robert Clarke, THE HIDEOUS SUN DEMON, and Paul Picerni were both that way too.
William Alland remembered me in his WILL, he left me a lot of his photos--which I since gave back to the family, but...wow.

A lot of them, after I've interviewed them, say, "Hey, you know who I'm friendly with? So-and-so. Do you want to interview HIM/HER?" It's amazing how one contact, one interview, will lead to another and another and another.

As for the biggest jerks ... well, Arthur Franz wasn't very nice. I'd ask him if he wanted copies of some of his horror/sci-fi movies, and he'd bark, "What would I wanna watch THAT (bleep) for??" The whole conversation was like that. Yeah, he was a real charmer!

porfle: Who do you most regret never getting the chance to interview?

Tom: Well, the "standard" answer, naturally, would be Lugosi, Karloff, Chaney Jr., etc. But the "ones that got away" that piss ME off are the ones I contacted, and said yes to an interview, and then **I** stupidly dragged my feet, and they died within a few weeks.

Every time I watch MIGHTY JOE YOUNG I remember that I called up Ben Johnson and he seemed so nice and said yes to an interview, and I blew it by diddling around. Same for Kay Aldridge from the Republic serials, and...you know what?, I'm don't even like to think about those [laughs]!

porfle: Do you recall one particular horror, fantasy, or sci-fi movie you saw as a child that first sparked your interest?

Tom: Honestly, no. I can tell you, though, that here in New York, I started watching the old horror/sci-fi stuff at a time when the real classics weren't on TV much or at all. In the mid- to late '60s, I grew up watching on TV the 1950s movies, good and bad, and the old '40s Monograms and THAT stuff. It wasn't until I was about 12, around 1970, that the GOOD stuff, the classic Universals and movies like that, started playing in New York again, after having been off TV throughout my childhood. So I have to admit, it was some good but mostly BAD movies that got me into this hobby!


porfle: Is there a genre film that is loved by fans and revered by critics, and you can't for the life of you figure out why?

Tom: I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE. I've probably seen it eight, ten times but except for a couple key scenes, it all goes in one eye and out the other, and I can't remember sitting here now which brother walks into the ocean at the end and which one survives!

porfle: What do you feel is the most underrated genre film ever made?

Tom: ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN. Sheer perfection!

porfle: If you could choose any previously-unfilmed novel to bring to the screen, what would it be?

Tom: I'd love to see some more of Lovecraft done. I've always been such a sucker for his stuff that even the NOT-so-good Lovecraft movie adaptations float my boat.

porfle: Which film would you totally erase from existence if you had the power to do so?

Tom: Well, about 95 percent of the horror movies made in the last 25 years could vanish off the face of the Earth and I could go to bed tonight and sleep like a baby!

porfle: You're well known for your DVD commentaries. Which one(s) did you have the most fun doing?

Tom: Well, for "fun," it would have to be the ones I did with Bob Burns for the two Creature sequels, with Lori Nelson sitting in on the REVENGE OF THE CREATURE one also. And to be doing it AT Universal, in the Henry Mancini Building -- Henry Mancini having done some of the music for those movies -- and walking distance from the sets where they were shot ... well, for a guy who grew up, and STILL lives, in Sleepy Hollow, New York, where there are farms on the other side of town ... it felt kinda strange.

porfle: Is there a film that has yet to be released on DVD that you would jump at the chance to do the commentary for?

Tom: Oh, gosh, dozens. Especially if I could drag some of the people who MADE those movies in the room with me too. I'd love to think that the early, black-and-white AIP monster movies will start coming out soon, while the guys and gals who made 'em are still with us. And THOSE I'd love to be a part of.

porfle: For those of us who have never done one, what is the process? Do you view the film on a television monitor? How much of the commentary is done in real-time?

Tom: It's done in real time until you get TOO tongue-tied, or you've screwed up and started missing some of your cues. Then you ask 'em to stop recording while you get your wits about you again. Yes, in most cases you sit in front of a TV, and you've got your script that you've written with the help of a tape of the movie with a time-code on it. Or, better yet, you're sitting there with one of the people who MADE the movie and then you don't even NEED a script, you just have a list of questions for him or her, and some general notes in front of you, and you just enjoy yourself.

porfle: There are a lot of remakes being done these days. Do any of them surpass the original films?

Tom: The only one I ever saw that I liked better than the original was the 1988 THE BLOB. Most of the rest--just about ALL of the rest, that I can think of off the top of my head, sitting here today -- I wouldn't want free DVDs of, I wouldn't know what to DO with them. Certainly not WATCH 'em again -- that'd be the LAST thing I'd ever do with 'em!


porfle: What do you feel is the general state of the horror film today?

Tom: I think I've given you clues to that a COUPLE times already [laughs]!

porfle: Are young people losing interest in the classic horror films of the past? Or will there always be an audience for them?

Tom: Yeeeeesh. I hope so, but I doubt it. When I was a kid, I was interested in "current" stuff, of course -- TV shows, movies, music -- but I also liked the older stuff on TV, and the old-time music my parents had on the radio, and so on. Today, just every young person I know -- not that I know that many, but most of the young people I know, or am exposed to, just turn up their nose at anything that isn't up-to-the-minute. And I love that they call two-year-old movies "old," and something that's like FIVE years old they call "OLD old." When they get to be older, are they going to change their ways and start sitting around watching WHITE ZOMBIE? In a word, "Pfffffffffft!!" So, yeah, I'm afraid I do have a bad feeling that, once we're gone, a lot of these movies are gonna be headed for Boot Hill.

porfle: Any subjects you haven't covered yet in book-form, but would like to?

Tom: I won't lie to ya, I'd have had more fun writing a FILMS OF LON CHANEY JR. than I did writing a FILMS OF JOHN CARRADINE. But there's a perfectly good Chaney Jr. book already out there -- and of course Lugosi and Karloff and Price have been written about to death, and VERY well. Sooooo...I got "stuck" with Carradine. But I would get a kick out of going into an alternate universe library and seeing what "my" FILMS OF LON CHANEY JR. would have been like. I bet it would have been fun to do.

porfle: If you could interview Edward D. Wood, Jr. (PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE, GLEN OR GLENDA?), what would you most like to ask him?

Tom: When Richard Bojarski interviewed you, did you really go after him with a broken bottle [laughs]?

porfle: Being such an experienced interviewer, what question would you have asked yourself that I neglected to ask?

Tom: [Laughs] It's funny, I often end interviews with "What great observation, what fun story do you like to tell, and I haven't asked you to tell?" -- and the interviewee usually dries up at that point, and CAN'T give me one more. And I always think to myself, "Oh, COME on, there must be one more good one. Come on, THINK!" Well, guess what? Now you've pulled that one on ME, and I can't think of a freakin' thing!

 

THE TOM WEAVER INTERVIEW

THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 8/30/09

 

If you ever wanted to see Rob Zombie's mind take a technicolor dump, then THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO is just the movie for you.

Combining a whirlwind of influences from Ralph Bakshi, John Kricfalusi, Adult Swim, R. Crumb, underground comics in general, HEAVY METAL, old theatrical cartoons, classic Universal horror flicks, and probably a ton more that I missed, this colorful and visually delightful conglomeration of dirty jokes and ADD-friendly action comes at us like all the different elements are being stuffed into a cannon and fired through the screen. Some of it sticks, while a whole bunch of it just flies in all directions. It's as though Robin Williams' genie character from ALADDIN improvised the script while tripping his ass off on acid and crystal meth.

El Superbeasto is a Santo-like Mexican wrestler-slash-actor (he wears a suit and a mask) with a magnificently massive ego who loves gorgeous babes with magnificently massive hooters. His sister, Suzy X, is an eyepatch-wearing super-sexy superheroine who battles Zombie Nazis with the help of her lovesick and painfully horny robot pal, Murray (who is right out of the 1939 Bela Lugosi serial THE PHANTOM CREEPS).

Meanwhile, their nerdy high school nemesis Steve Wachowski has reinvented himself as Dr. Satan and is searching for a woman with the numbers "666" on her ass. Once he marries her, according to legend, he'll be transformed into a fearsome, unstoppable colossus to whom El Superbeasto will never, ever give another wedgie again. The woman with the fateful mark on her tush turns out to be spectacularly-endowed stripper Velvet von Black, who is kidnapped by Dr. Satan's gorilla henchman Otto as a smitten El Superbeasto follows the trail. All of this results, as you may have guessed, in a final showdown with El Superbeasto and Suzy X battling a super-sized Dr. Satan, his minions, and those pesky Zombie Nazis.

It goes without saying that this movie doesn't take itself very seriously, which is a plus. I didn't find all of it funny--the jokes, good and bad, just keep pummelling us non-stop until the whole thing is somewhat numbing--but it's tuneful and fun. Amidst all the frenetic activity, I found the quiet, subtle scenes with ape-henchman Otto and Lenny the schlubby elevator operator in Dr. Satan's castle to be the most laugh-out-loud funny. As for the songs by Hard 'N' Phirm, they're often delightfully twisted and amusing comments on the action. The Zombie Nazi theme is especially fun as it reels off lyrics that are simply the most painfully obvious stream-of-consciousness exposition set to music.

Creatures of all kinds fill the screen along with a bevy of outrageously sexy (in a cartoon sense, that is) babes. Velvet von Black is so hot, in fact, that her theme song contains the line: "She could suck the gay right off a painting of a unicorn." Another song which is heard as Dr. Satan enjoys a wank in his private bed chamber tells us:

"It's all right to jerk off to cartoons
The Japanese do it every day
So rub one out for the USA."

Super-stacked action babe Suzy X keeps her robot ally Murray in a constant state of excitation, especially when he transforms into a vehicle that Suzy operates via a strategically-placed joystick. And, needless to say, there's a Suzy vs. Velvet catfight setpiece.

Younger viewers may recognize a few of the guest cameos that pop up all over the place, but the majority of cultural references that Rob Zombie has lovingly stuffed into this movie will just sail right over their heads. The first few minutes should be a real treat for Universal horror fans--they're a reproduction of the 1931 FRANKENSTEIN'S opening titles right down to the music, visuals, and that famous "friendly warning" from Edward van Sloan.

The vocal talent is pretty impressive. I'd never heard of comedian Tom Papa, who voices El Superbeasto, but he's very good. Sheri Moon Zombie is perfect as Suzy X since she already sounds like a cartoon anyway, and Rosario Dawson ably spouts all of Velvet von Black's incessant homegirl blather. "Mr. Show" faves Brian Posehn and Tom Kenny breathe comic life into Murray and Otto, respectively, while Paul Giamatti is dastardly nerd Dr. Satan.

Other notable voices include Danny Trejo as Rico, Dee Wallace as Trixie, Tura Satana as Varla, Geoffrey Lewis as Lenny, Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson as Amber, Clint Howard as Joe Cthulu, Daniel Roebuck as talk show host Morris Green, Ken Foree (DAWN OF THE DEAD) as Luke St. Luke, and Laraine Newman as Betty Sue Lou. Sid Haig and Bill Moseley reprise their characters Captain Spaulding and Otis Driftwood.

The DVD's 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen image and Dolby 5.1 surround are very good. English subtitles for the deaf and hearing-impaired are available. Extras consist of some deleted scenes and shots, plus about half an hour of alternate scenes in various stages of completion.

I didn't find THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO to be totally engaging, but I enjoyed it anyway thanks to its constant barrage of colorful eye candy, sex 'n' violence, and good-natured stupidity. The numerous film and pop-culture references are also fun. I never read Rob Zombie's comic book on which this is based, but the film reminds me of the kind of underground comics that I used to skip over to get to the R. Crumb and Gilbert Shelton ones, and then eventually come back and read later. They weren't as good but they had their own charms.

THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO -- DVD Review by Porfle

INALIENABLE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/23/09

 

 

"From the mind of Walter Koenig", erstwhile Ensign Chekov of the Starship Enterprise, comes INALIENABLE (2009), which starts out as a horror tale of a man who isn't quite sure whether he's carrying a deadly parasite or an alien offspring, and ends up itself resembling the unearthly lovechild of SyFy and Lifetime.

Research scientist Eric Norris (Richard Hatch, a veteran of both versions of "Battlestar Galactica") is trying to discover a cure for AIDS while dealing with the endless guilt caused by the death of his wife and son in a car crash in which he was driving. One day his friend brings him a piece of rock that broke off of an alien wessel--sorry, a meteor--that crashed on his property. Eric wakes up the next day to find that the rock has transformed into a jellyfish-like creature and invaded his body, nestling in a pouch-like protrusion over his left hip and sending tendrils throughout his body which intertwine with his vital organs.

It soon becomes apparent that Eric is "pregnant" with something, and when the FBI finds out about this potential alien threat, he must flee along with a sympathetic coworker, Amanda Mayfield (Courtney Peldon), who has fallen in love with him. After giving birth to the grotesque, tentacled baby (which he christens "Benjamin") in a barn, Eric and his new son are captured and placed under strict observation. Meanwhile, Amanda hooks up with a space-case civil rights lawyer named Ellis (Erick Avari) to help free Eric and allow him to have custody of Benjamin without government interference. This results in a courtroom drama in which Benjamin's humanity, or lack thereof, is in bitter dispute.

INALIENABLE begins with all the elements of early David Cronenberg body horror, but that all changes as soon as the proud dad gets a gander at his new butt-ugly baby with the octopus tentacles and goes all sappy. After that it's all tears and hugs and courtroom intrigue designed to tug at our heartstrings. When Eric and Benjamin are reunited in a holding cell under the watchful eyes of coldhearted government types, their impromptu Charlie Chaplin dance will either make you smile or retch. Most interesting is the battle of wits between the two lawyers over Benjamin's basic "human" rights, bringing to mind similar questions about robot sentience as seen on some of the best episodes of shows like "Star Trek" and "The Outer Limits."


Richard Hatch sells his character convincingly and makes his scenes with Courtney Peldon seem a little lopsided by consistently out-acting her. Koenig, as Eric's boss and eventual enemy (for reasons we discover later on), proves that he's a pretty solid screen presence himself when he isn't having to portray the biggest weenie in Starfleet. Special credit goes to Marina Sirtis for her impressive turn as the queen-bitch prosecutor, a far cry from ST:TNG's compassionate Deanna Troi. Other familiar sci-fi faces pop up here and there throughout the story, including Alan Ruck and Tim Russ (both alumni of different Trek incarnations), Richard Herd, Gary Graham, Jay Acovone, Erick Avari, and longtime sci-fi/horror stalwart and stuntwoman Patricia Tallman ("Babylon 5", "Star Trek", the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake).

Production values are adequate but rather spartan, and Robert Dyke directs without a whole lot of energy. The film is low-key to the point of timidity, as though it were aware that someone was taking a nap in the next room and didn't want to wake them up. Some of the courtroom scenes are undercut by the constant drone of strangely soothing music which seems intent on lulling us to sleep ourselves. Worse, Amanda's first meeting with lawyer Ellis is accompanied by an intrusively whimsical tune that lets us know Ellis is supposed to be a funny character, even though he isn't funny.

The alien SPFX aren't very convincing, although it's nice to see something like this done with animatronics and puppetry rather than cheap CGI for a change. The newborn infant is a nicely-rendered creation that's somewhat reminiscent of the baby in ERASERHEAD. Later, the older Benjamin's makeup makes him look more like an aged midget than a cute little alien child, and the less said about his bobbling tentacles the better. Again, however, Richard Hatch does such a good job of interacting with this weird little gremlin that he manages to give their scenes together a surprising amount of pathos.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 2.0 and English subtitles. The sole extra is a trailer, but if you zip to the end of the closing credits you get to see Walter Koenig cutting up on the set for about half a minute.

INALIENABLE's heart is in the right place and for the most part it's a fairly absorbing though slow-moving little sci-fi tale. The first half, with its potentially horrific imagery of an unknown alien lifeform incubating inside a human host, would be good fodder for a Cronenberg film or episode of "The X-Files." The second half, though, is a rather listless stroll through KRAMER VS. KRAMER territory with an ending that fails to generate much tension or suspense. All in all, an amiable little flick that I can neither condemn nor recommend with much enthusiasm.

INALIENABLE -- DVD Review by Porfle

FRANKY AND HIS PALS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted 6/27/20


There are movie lovers who love bad movies--we all know about them. And then there are those hardy souls who take it a whole 'nother step farther than a simple fondness for such films as PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE and MANOS: HANDS OF FATE. These are the people who love bad shot-on-video movies from back in the days of VCRs and camcorders.

Yes, I'm talking about the obscure, murky, mind-numbing video relics of which our subject for today, FRANKY AND HIS PALS (Intervision, 1991), is a prime example. For most people, trying to watch such barrel-scraping stuff would be an insufferable ordeal. For others, it's a special kind of fun that can't really be logically explained.

Suffice it to say, this story of five "classic" monsters (more or less) who happen upon a treasure map and then try to find a cache of hidden gold, is only as good as you imagine it to be. If this is your cup of weak tea, you'll have a ball. If not, you may have a cow just trying to get away from it.

It all begins with the monsters, who have been trapped in a cave for years by a landslide, escaping thanks to the extreme flatulence of gassy monster Franky blowing a boulder away from the entrance.

The others include Drak, Wolfie, Mummy and the parasitic smart-aleck reptile who lives in his tummy, and Humper the lecherous hunchback.  If Drak sounds familiar to you, it's because the actor playing him seems to be attempting to channel Christopher Lloyd. (A helpful disclaimer during the closing credits assures us that "celebrity voice are simulated.")

When Humper produces the treasure map during a poker game, they set off on foot for the small backwoods town where the hotel containing the gold is located. Here, they search for the hidden riches under tables, in books, behind shelves--wherever a fortune in gold wouldn't be in a million years--while a costume party-slash-dance taking place in the hotel keeps them from attracting too much undue attention.

This sets up filmmaker Gerald Cormier (BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD) to give us a parade of bad jokes and vignettes that make "Hee Haw" look like A NIGHT AT THE OPERA. Humper makes good on his name by descending upon every female derriere in sight, while Wolfie hooks up with a gay guy in a tutu named Clover and Mummy can't get anywhere with the ladies because his scaly alter-ego keeps making offensive quips and getting him slapped.

Drak avails himself of an available neck here and there, delivering what is probably the movie's funniest line after one particularly good snack ("Mmm...type O, vintage '65. A very good year!") It all comes to an explosive finale when Franky discovers an entire pot of chili beans cooking on the stove and gulps them down.

The monster makeup is passable when the camera isn't too close to it. Performances are about as good as one might expect, while, surprisingly, the technical aspects actually display a certain rudimentary level of professionalism that lifts this effort above most other shot-on-video fare. 

Serving as backdrop during all the fart and pee-pee jokes, naughty sex scenes, and a climactic bikini contest are some of the worst rock and rap songs one could possibly hope to never hear. Somehow, though, it would spoil much of the fun if they were actually good.

Rounding things off are a peripheral subplot about a mad scientist with a time machine and a couple of black gravediggers whose dialogue is of the "Are you jivin' me?" variety.

The DVD from Intervision is in full frame with English captions. Extras include an interview with actor Eric "Big Franky" Weathersbee, an interview with actor/FX artist Keith "Humper" Lack, an interview with actor Shawn "Clover" West, interviews with members of the "Franky and His Pals" party band, and a "Radio Beach" music video by same.

A disclaimer informs us that the original materials have been lost, and that this DVD print comes from the only surviving element which is a commercial copy of the film. Thus, FRANKY AND HIS PALS looks exactly the way it should look--as though you'd just rented it on VHS from some hole-in-the-wall video store in 1991. I wouldn't have it any other way.


Limited Edition, Hand-Numbered DVD/Limited to 1000 Copies
 

FRANKY AND HIS PALS -- DVD Review by Porfle