ROBOGEISHA -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/3/10

 

Every once in a while I come across a movie that's pure brain candy, which is the best way I can think of to describe the utterly demented ROBOGEISHA (2009).  To say that it's like a live-action cartoon doesn't even scratch the surface of how deliriously nutty this movie is.

We've seen geishas popping up all over the place in Japanese action cinema these days, but few can compare to these deadly and unpredictable robo-geishas.  Bristling with built-in weaponry, they leap into action with a dazzling array of chest guns, saber tongues, napalm wigs, armpit swords, ass swords, and, in one case, a mouth that turns into a buzzsaw.  But the most startling and unexpected of all, according to their hapless targets, seem to be the dreaded ass stars.  As a dying yakuza warlord complains after receiving a faceful of them:  "Something like this is just...in a sense, it's really unfair."

Kidnapped and turned into cyborg geishas against their will, they act as bodyguards and assassins for Kenzan Kageno and his son Hikaru, a pair of power-mad steel tycoons who are building a giant super-bomb with which they plan to take over Japan.  Into their ancient castle lair come the timid, unsuspecting Yoshie (Aya Kiguchi) and her cruel older sister Kikuyakko (Hitomi Hasebe), a beautiful geisha with romantic designs on Hikaru.  But he's only interested in Yoshie once he discovers that anger transforms her into a super-strong warrior.


 

After Yoshie defeats Kikuyakko in a forced battle, she's delighted with the positive attention she receives and submits to her captors while her older sister is reduced to menial servitude.  Kikuyakko gets fed up with this pretty quick, however, and undergoes body reconstruction which turns her into a cyborg with a built-in chest machine gun among other modifications.  While the sisters compete for status among the robo-geishas, Yoshie encounters a group of distraught family members who are planning to rescue their loved ones from the Kagenos.  She comes to her senses and decides to help them wage war against the bad guys, including her own sister. 

Scenes of the robo-geishas being dispatched to seduce and eliminate the Kagenos' political and business enemies brought to mind, of all things, AIP's old "Dr. Goldfoot" movies in which Vincent Price creates an army of exploding bikini-clad robot assassins.  I was also reminded of the "Pink Panther" films during a side-splittingly funny early scene with Yoshie accidentally causing great embarrassment to Kikuyakko as she entertains Hikara and his friends.  Some of the other humor and bizarre situations are reminiscent of the similarly ultra-strange BIG MAN JAPAN, which also made good use of CGI to create some delightfully surrealistic visuals.


 

What really helps make the film so funny, though, is its deadpan mock-seriousness.  The melodramatic conflicts between sisters Yoshie and Kikukyakko are as heartwrenchingly maudlin and emotional as the soap operas of yore, and are played so straight that its almost painful.  Here, the lead performances are perfectly in tune with the screenplay's sensibility.  "I am she who fells festering evil through machinery, the clockwork courtesan," Yoshi intones with solemn conviction right before unleashing her wig napalm.

Much of the other humor comes not from "funny" lines, but from various people stating the obvious with a kind of stunned disbelief.  One victim of the "ass stars" mutters:  "It can't be...they came out of...their asses..."  Seconds away from being sliced to ribbons while in the grip of the buzzsaw-mouthed geisha, another man groans:  "I'm feeling...a lot of stress!  This kind of stress...really hits you later!"

Best of all are Cay Izumi and Asami (who should be receiving my marriage proposal just as soon as I can find somebody to translate it) as the gleefully kill-crazy GobliSquadron, a pair of gorgeous babes with dazzling battle skills and really bad attitudes who give ROBOGEISHA some of its liveliest moments.  Wearing scary masks with long, "erect" noses similar to those worn by the Droogies in Kubrick's A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, they get the movie off to a rousing start as they take on the sword-wielding bodyguards of a political candidate marked for death.  In another scene that had me howling with "WTF?", they shield Hikaru from a vengeful former lover by showering her with their highly-corrosive secret weapon, "Hell's Breast Milk."

While the middle section lags a bit, things really go over-the-top as we head into the final clash between Yoshie and the Kagenos.  Having suffered a major setback (she gets blown up), Yoshie is rebuilt with modifications she isn't even aware of herself ("Incredible!  I didn't know I could turn into a tank!") just as Hikaru unveils his secret weapon, the Giant Robot Castle.  While this towering monstrosity threatens Japan, Kikuyakko attacks Yoshie with new-and-improved cyborg abilities of her own in a climactic free-for-all.

The direction by Noboru Iguchi, who also wrote the script, is a prime example of controlled chaos.  Even the shaky-cam and whiplash pans and zooms are done with the precision of an animated film.  Not too flashy but endlessly kinetic and creative, the look of ROBOGEISHA is colorful and stylish. 

The DVD from Funimation Entertainment is 16:9 with soundtracks in English 5.1 surround and Japanese stereo.  Besides the trailers for this and other Funimation releases, there's a fifteen-minute short film called "Geishacop: Fearsome Geisha Corps--Go to Hell" which is a spin-off of the main feature and is so violent, bizarre, and perverse that you just have to see it to believe it.

After such a gushing recommendation, I should probably take a moment to stress that ROBOGEISHA definitely isn't for everyone.  It's a weird movie and you have to be a little weird yourself in order to enjoy it. As for me, I've already seen it three times!

 

ROBOGEISHA -- DVD Review by Porfle

DISCIPLES OF THE 36TH CHAMBER -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 12/9/10

 

Not quite up to par with the previous entry in the Shaw Brothers' series, DISCIPLES OF THE 36TH CHAMBER (1985) still has a lot of exciting fight scenes amidst a barrage of slapstick comedy.

Hou Hsaiao stars as Fang Shiyu, an incorrigible class clown who's so averse to study that he must be tied to his two brothers during class.  He's so strong and sinewy that any blow directed at him is bounced back against his attacker, making him difficult to punish.  When a dour Manchurian education officer visits the school, Shiyu manages to offend him so grievously (in one of the film's funnier scenes) that the Manchus threaten to close the school. 

Things get even worse when Shiyu offends the entire membership of the Qing Imperial Gym and must seek sanctuary from the Imperial Court by becoming a secular pupil in the Shaolin Temple.  Even under the strict tutelage of Master San Te (Gordon Liu), Shiyu can't stay out of trouble and soon gets mixed up in a plot by the Manchu governor to destroy the Shaolin temple.

The opening titles sequence is fun, with a stylized presentation of how Shiyu gained fame by defeating the terrible Tiger Lei.  He then must take on the beautiful Li Xiahuan who seeks to avenge her husband, and whose skills are great.  Then Li Bashan shows up to avenge his son-in-law in a battle that takes place on upright log poles with steel spikes between them.  As in much of the film, the fight choreography here is intricate and rather dance-like at times, with an emphasis on humor and playfulness but always with an impressive degree of acrobatic skills.

The rivalry between the Hans and the Manchus provides the opportunity for several exciting fight scenes, in addition to the lively Shaolin training sequences.  All of this leads to an intense climactic battle between the Shaolin students and the Manchu governor and his men during a wedding, which becomes a furious free-for-all.  Hou Hsiao and Gordon Liu get to show off their martial arts abilities to the fullest, pulling out every trick in the book as the Shaolins bring all their extensive training to bear against their foes.

As Fang Shiyu, Hou Hsiao is a good comic performer whose acrobatic skills and boundless energy make for a wildly kinetic character.  Gordon Liu, who played San Te in the first film, THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN, and then the comedy lead in the sequel, returns to the role of San Te here and is appropriately monk-like.  Lily Li does a great job as Fong Sai-Yuk's mysterious mother, Miao Cuihua, who has had past experiences with San Te and the Shaolin monks and really shines in the big fight finale.  Chia-Liang Liu's punchy, hyperkinetic direction keeps things moving at an almost cartoonish pace at times.

The DVD from Dragon Dynasty is widescreen with Dolby 2.0 mono in Mandarin and English, and subtitles in English and Spanish.  The sole bonus feature is a commentary track by Hong Kong cinema expert Bey Logan, which, as usual, is exhaustively informative.

DISCIPLES OF THE 36TH CHAMBER is a fast-moving and comedic actionfest that should please Shaw Brothers fans. 




Read our review of RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER

DISCIPLES OF THE 36TH CHAMBER -- DVD Review by Porfle

RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 2/15/10

 

 

It's not every day you get to watch a kung fu movie that's as much pure, hyperkinetic fun as RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER (1980), a thrilling fists 'n' feet comedy from the Shaw Brothers that's a sequel to the classic THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN.

The story opens with the shady boss of a fabric mill hiring some Manchurian thugs to intimidate his employees into working harder while giving them a pay cut. Horse-faced worker Chao (sporting a set of buck teeth that would embarrass Mortimer Snerd) enlists his con artist pal Chou Jen Chieh (Gordon Liu, who's most widely-known these days from the KILL BILL movies) to pose as revered Shaolin monk San Te in order to frighten Boss Wong and his men. The ruse works at first, but when the suspicious Wong challenges Chieh to demonstrate his skills, the result is a humiliating defeat that sends him fleeing for his life as the hapless workers are thrashed into submission.

Vowing to help his friends somehow, Chieh resolves to learn kung fu for real and bluffs his way into the Shaolin temple only to come face-to-face with the real San Te (Ching Chia, in the role originated by Gordon Liu himself in the first film). Thus begins the middle section of the film which is a non-stop slapstick delight, with Chien bumbling around like a dervish amidst the solemn monks and apprentices and comically mimicking their training.

 

When San Te orders him to construct bamboo scaffolding around the entire temple in preparation for its renovation, which will take years, Chien thinks he's being shunted aside. As he labors at his task he observes the trainees going through their paces and applies their movements to his own work, thereby eventually learning kung fu without even realizing it. This lengthy sequence is incredibly inventive and endlessly fun, and Gordon Liu displays a boundless energy and natural comic ability that's downright infectious.

His task completed, Chien is expelled from the temple and returns home in defeat, believing himself a failure. But it doesn't take long for him to realize that he's not only inadvertently learned kung fu but has also created his own variation--"Scaffolding Style"! His final confrontation with Mr. Wong and the Manchurians leads to a frenetic 20-minute action sequence that beats the hell out of MATRIX: RELOADED's CGI-laden "Burly Brawl", with no special effects and little or no wirework in sight. The action doesn't let up for a second and the fighting style is dazzlingly inventive, building to the final showdown between Chieh and Mr. Wong on--what else?--a scaffold.

 

The direction (by Liu Chia-Liang), camerawork, and editing are all first-rate for this kind of film, with fight choreography that doesn't always look totally realistic but is lots of fun anyway. The ways in which Chieh's "Scaffolding Style" is worked into the final battle is almost cartoonishly effective as he leaves his opponents hogtied to bamboo poles or wrapped together in bunches with lightning-fast moves. In some ways, the film is wonderfully cheesy and the castmembers overact their roles with abandon, which, in this case, is entirely appropriate.

With his amazing feats of dexterity and comedy timing, Gordon Liu carries the story with a full-throttle performance that never lets up. Pretending to be an experienced kung fu master, he blunders his way through one obstacle course with such artless abandon that one monk marvels, "Your kung fu is incredible! I could hardly follow it." Low comedy rears its head as he tricks another pupil into drinking some laxative-laced tea and then calls after him, "Better find a place to take a dump!" My favorite line, though, comes during the final battle with the evil boss, when Chieh brings things to a sudden halt and states magnanimously, "That's it, Mr. Wong. I will hurt you if we continue."

 

The single-disc DVD from Dragon Dynasty and Celestial Pictures is in widescreen with Mandarin, Cantonese, and English mono. Subtitles are in English and Spanish. With naught but a few trailers at the start, this is surprisingly barebones for a Dragon Dynasty release.

A fast-moving, fun, and colorful romp with lots of old-fashioned kung fu-movie charm, RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER is a must-see for Shaw Brothers fans and anyone else who's in the mood for a hefty dose of thrills and laughs. I had a ball watching it.

Read our review of  DISCIPLES OF THE 36TH CHAMBER

RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER -- DVD Review by Porfle

SHAOLIN MANTIS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/9/10

 

Another one of those Shaw Brothers gems from the 70s, SHAOLIN MANTIS (1978) is an absorbing story with some nice atmosphere and lots of furious fight action from director Chia-Liang Liu of the 36TH CHAMBER series. 

An elder scholar presents his son, Wei Feng (David Chiang, THE ONE-ARMED SWORDSMAN), to the Qian dynasty emperor but lives to regret it when Wei is enlisted in the emperor's plan to infiltrate a rebel clan working to overthrow him.  Wei is given a three-part deadline for returning with evidence against the Tian clan: in three months, his father will lose his title; in six months, his family will be imprisoned; and in one year, they'll be executed.  Real peach of a guy, this emperor. 

Wei manages to enter the Tian household by becoming a teacher to the cute but extremely spoiled Zhizhi (Huang Hsing-hsiu), granddaughter to the Old Master (Chia Yung Liu).  Zhizhi falls in love with Wei and they marry, but he isn't allowed to leave the house after Old Master discovers that he's a Qian spy.  After finding some evidence which the emperor needs to arrest the Tians, Wei must then fight his way out by confronting Zhizhi's uncles in battle and finally facing the Old Master himself. 

The first action scene comes early on as the Qian emperor demands a demonstration of Wei's abilities.  He first defeats a Mongol warrior, then a monk played by Chia Hui Liu, aka Gordon Liu (RETURN TO THE 36TH CHAMBER, KILL BILL), in a lively sequence with plenty of action. Later, when Wei begins teaching the unruly Zhizhi, the story gears down and becomes a romantic comedy for awhile as the young girl flirts with her handsome tutor and begins to fall for him.  The relationship is light and fun, carrying us through a mostly uneventful stretch as we wait for the other shoe to drop.
 

 

Things get serious again around the halfway point when Wei and Zhizhi decide to defy the Old Master and leave the house, at which point the film becomes an almost non-stop series of deadly battles.  Making their way from one room to the next, Wei and Zhizhi team up to fight her three uncles in turn (Huang Hsing-hsiu is impressive) as a myriad of exotic weaponry comes into play.  Each has a different fighting style which proves difficult to overcome.  Last in their gauntlet of foes is the Old Master himself, using his invincible Shadow style which brings the escape attempt to a disastrous conclusion for the young rebels. 

This middle section of the film is a feast for old-style martial arts fans, thanks in large part to Chia-Liang Liu's no-frills directing style which consists mainly of long, carefully-choreographed takes punctuated by a minimum of flashy directorial touches and quick editing.  The familiar whiplash pans and zooms are there but are unobtrusive, while the use of slow-motion is kept to a bare minimum.

After Wei's escape from Five Sun Manor comes my favorite part of the film, in which Wei inadvertently invents the Mantis fighting style while hiding out in the forest.  While toying with a fiesty preying mantis one day, he notices the grace and dexterity of its movements and begins to adapt them to his own fighting technique, which seems to be just the thing for combatting Old Master's seemingly unbeatable Shadow style.
 

 

There are some really beautiful shots of both Wei and the mantis sharing the frame as he prods it with his finger, observing its movements as it defends itself.  More amazing closeup shots of the mantis make it appear as though, like a wise old mentor, it is actually teaching Wei its moves as he imitates them.  This exquisitely shot-and-edited sequence is wonderfully captivating and unlike anything I've ever seen in this kind of film. 

Returning to Five Sun Manor, Wei plunges through the gauntlet with a renewed determination and skill in another series of bouts that culminates with a decisive Mantis-versus-Shadow rematch against the Old Master.  Chia-Liang Liu builds excitement and suspense with increasingly innovative moves which keep the long sequence from becoming monotonous.  Once again the scene is loaded with lengthy takes involving intricate choreography that is expertly performed. 

The DVD from Vivendi's Dragon Dynasty label is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Mandarin and English mono soundtracks.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  There are no extras.

SHAOLIN MANTIS is an involving story which invests us in the characters before thrusting them into a maelstrom of furious and thrilling martial arts battles.  I found it thoroughly enjoyable right up to its startling ending, which comes from right out of left field.  If you're like me, the final freeze-frame will leave you knee-deep in "WTF?"  

SHAOLIN MANTIS -- DVD Review by Porfle

FATHER'S DAY -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/24/12

 

I didn't know quite what to expect when I started watching FATHER'S DAY (2011), a condition which persisted throughout the entire movie.  Just when you think you've pretty much figured out what it is you're watching, it turns into something a whole lot weirder and several times nuttier.

Written, directed, and starred in by a group of Winnipeg filmmakers who call themselves Astron-6, it's an unashamedly stupid, gore-drenched grab bag of tongue-in-cheek tough-guy action-horror-comedy antics done in the fake-grindhouse style of PLANET TERROR, but with real grindhouse production values and attitude. 

Most nostalgic of all for me, it's presented as though home-taped sometime during the 80s off a late-night cable station called ASTR-TV, complete with promo bumpers, smarmy announcer, and a mid-movie faux trailer for something really, really cheesy called STAR RAIDERS.

The story begins in semi-sane fashion with corpulent "Father's Day Killer" Chris Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock) raping and butchering dads, including that of gay street hustler Twink (Conor Sweeney).  This repellent character also killed the father of young Ahab and cut out his right eye in the bargain. 

Now grown up, Ahab (Adam Brooks) is a growly-voiced, eye-patched "Snake Plissken" type out for revenge along with his stripper sister Chelsea (Amy Groening), the addlebrained Twink, and a jittery young priest named Father John (Matthew Kennedy) whose blind, aging mentor also met a horrific Fuchman-related fate. 

What follows makes ARMY OF DARKNESS look like a Doris Day/Rock Hudson comedy as this simple revenge flick gets progressively more absurd.  Characters obsess "Monty Python"-style over simple figures of speech, as when Ahab tells Father John that it's time to harvest his maple syrup before it turns bitter and Father John wrongly interprets this as a metaphor for Ahab and his sister Chelsea, after which a confused Ahab spends five minutes trying to figure out why Father John just compared him to a tree.

Twink, meanwhile, begins the film as a deceptively serious character grieving over his dead dad (Billy Sadoo's acting while being murdered by Fuchman is strikingly realistic), making his descent into extreme goofiness even more pronounced.  Elsewhere, Father John's odyssey takes him from a meltdown in the pulpit worthy of Richard Burton on laughing gas (in a scene which may have been inspired by the opening to NIGHT OF THE IGUANA) to a hostage situation in Heaven with the desperate priest holding God (Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman) at gunpoint. 

While all this is going on, Fuchman continues his reign of terror complete with a cornucopia of wet 'n' wild gore effects including entrails, exploding heads, and one shocking moment that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "eat me."  None of this, however, is quite as disturbing as the image of a full-on naked Mackenzie Murdock displaying his eye-watering genitalia and humping everyone in sight. 

Just when you think our heroes have defeated the bad guy and made everything right with the world again, FATHER'S DAY pulls out all the stops and goes totally off the deep end with Ahab, Twink, and Father John descending into Hell to rescue Chelsea, who's been kidnapped by Fuchman to be the bearer of his evil seed or whatever. 

While this may sound pretty horrible, it's all basically just an excuse to ramp up the bizarre off-the-wall comedy to even greater heights (or should I say depths) of calculated idiocy.  Along with even more squishy gore effects, of course.  Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention the extreme incest sequence and the buxom, chainsaw-wielding stripper played by my future wife, Zsuzsi. 

As nastily nostalgic as the more expensive, star-studded PLANET TERROR and packed with more grindhouse-verite' style than HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN, the gleefully horrendous FATHER'S DAY will be a riotous romp for some, a nauseating nightmare for others.  You probably know which camp you're in by now. 


Our coverage of the film's premiere

Official website

FATHER'S DAY -- Movie Review by Porfle

MIDNIGHT COWBOY -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/20/21

 

Currently rewatching: MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969). The only X-rated film ever to win Best Picture (it was later reduced to an R).

The two great lead performances consist of Dustin Hoffman as skid row denizen "Ratso" Rizzo and Jon Voight as a naive Texas stud named Joe Buck who thinks he can make money hustling rich New York matrons who are "just beggin' for it."

Rarely has this sort of life been portrayed in such a bleak and desolate manner as the two unlikely friends struggle to scrape up a meager buck while living in a condemned building. 

 

Joe's prospects grow dimmer every day, forcing him to engage in the lowest forms of prostitution, while Ratso's physical deterioration mirrors that of their increasingly hopeless living conditions.

John Schlesinger's creative direction and the sometimes free-form editing are amazingly, deliriously experimental.
 
Flashbacks, fantasies, and delusions often combine to turn the narrative into a fever dream that's alternately humorous (Ratso's fantasies of a sunbaked life in Florida) and frightening (Joe's garbled memories of childhood sexual and emotional confusion and warped romantic encounters).

Yet the funny, perversely sentimental, and at times achingly tragic story always remains grounded and strong, leading to a heartrending and overwhelmingly sad ending that is rendered for maximum effect with the skill of a virtuoso by director Schlesinger.

 

The supporting cast includes Brenda Vaccaro, Barnard Hughes, John McGiver, Sylvia Miles, and Bob Balaban. A dizzying party sequence features some familiar names associated with Andy Warhol and the New York avant garde scene.

I hadn't seen MIDNIGHT COWBOY for quite some time before revisiting it just now, and what I vaguely remembered as a "sad" ending hit me full force this time and I cried pretty much all the way through the closing credits. Some of the most innovative and creatively self-assured films ever made came out of the late 60s, and this is one of the best.

MIDNIGHT COWBOY -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/28/13

 

Like so many soldiers throughout the ages, returning World War II veterans were faced with a special dilemma--they were back in the homefront they'd yearned for, yet surrounded by people who had no idea what they'd just been through and what they were going through now. 

The problems these men had fitting back into peacetime society--including becoming members of their own families again--are skillfully and sympathetically explored in director William Wyler's Oscar-winning masterwork THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946), now available on Blu-ray from Warner Home Video.

Three ex-servicemen--Army sergeant Al Stephenson (Frederic March,  DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE), Air Force captain Fred Derry (Dana Andrews, CURSE OF THE DEMON),  and Navy swabbie Homer Parrish (Harold Russell)--hitch a long ride on a military transport to their hometown and become bosom buddies along the way. 

We begin to feel their tension at seeing family and friends again as they liken it to "storming the beaches", with Homer especially dreading the impending reunion due to the loss of his hands during his ship's sinking.  He fears not only how his folks will react but mostly whether or not his prospective bride, girl-next-door Wilma (Cathy O'Donnell, BEN HUR), will now reject him.

Fred has a different problem--his blond bombshell wife, Marie (a drop-dead gorgeous Virginia Mayo), to whom he had been married a mere twenty days before going overseas, is a party animal whose recent job in a nightclub has made her accustomed to a fast lifestyle which her unemployed husband can't provide. 

The young Andrews is ideally cast as a once-proud soldier who now must return to his old job as a drugstore soda jerk, biting his lip as a former underling orders him around while an uncaring boss, as did many at the time, regards him and other returning vets as a nuisance to society.  With Marie constantly berating him for not being successful or ambitious enough, and openly flaunting her intentions to "step out" on him, we can hardly blame Fred when he falls for Marie's exact opposite, the lovely and understanding Peggy (a vibrant Teresa Wright).

Trouble is,  Peggy is Al's daughter, and he's having his own problems without having to worry about her hooking up with a married man.  Unlike his two pals, former banker Al returns to a luxurious apartment but feels just as out-of-place among his wife and two kids.  Their reunion is tense and uncomfortable--empathetic viewers, in fact, may feel this way for much of the film--with Al first glimpsing his wife Milly (Myrna Loy) across the expanse of a long hallway that symbolizes the gulf still lying between them.  (He'll later describe the feeling of crossing that hallway as "like going overseas again.")

In  the film's opening scenes, it's heartrending to see the near-desperation with which the three main characters cling to each other's sympathetic company rather than face the prospect of returning to the families who now seem almost like strangers to them.  Later,  we fear that they'll never reassimilate back into normal life. 

This is especially true when restless Al urges Milly and Peggy to join him for a night out on the town.  March, seemingly slipping  into his celebrated Mr. Hyde persona at times,  portrays Al as a manic, nearly out-of-control drunk on his first night back--it's almost as though he's decompressing, or trying to put on the brakes like a speeding jet landing on a runway.  

It makes us glad that Milly is such a strong, sensible, supportive wife, with a rock-solid Myrna Loy (THE THIN MAN) lending her the stature of a woman any man would fight to come back home to and be glad to have on his side.  With her help, Al will eventually "mature" into a self-assured, no-nonsense personality whose unshakable principles threaten to get him into hot water back at the bank when he starts granting loans to other veterans with little or no collateral.  His drinking is another concern, as is the growing rift between him and Fred over daughter Peggy.

Even though we know Fred's marriage to Marie hasn't much of a future, his impulsiveness worries us when he steals a kiss from Peggy after an innocent lunch date.  Her growing attraction to him draws her into a terrible quandary which puts her at odds with her parents, and the scene of their most emotional confrontation is powerfully done. 

Meanwhile,  Fred's feelings of worthlessness are dramatically illustrated when he visits a "graveyard" for derelict bomber planes that are to be junked.  Sitting in the nose of a rusty, engineless plane and reliving his experiences as a bombadier, he realizes that he, too, is a wartime relic to be either recycled or tossed on the junk heap.  Director Wyler renders the sequence with exquisite skill, while Andrews gives it his all and musical composer Hugo Friedhofer pulls out all the stops--it's a gripping scene. 

Still, this is nothing compared to the emotional rollercoaster in store for the viewer regarding the unfortunate sailor, Homer.  Portrayed by real-life amputee Harold Russell, himself a former serviceman who won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his debut role, Homer endures excruciating emotional torment which we can't help but share as he feels isolated amidst his own family and impotent as a man. 

During a scene in which he silently allows his father to remove his "arms" and dress him in his pajamas--in what was certainly a reflection of his own real-life experiences-- Russell's face and demeanor tell us everything we need to know about the thoughts and emotions roiling inside him.  When he angrily thrusts his hooks through a windowpane in response to the curious looks of his little sister and her friends, it's a shocking and disturbing moment in cinema. 

Russell gives an earnest, painfully uninhibited performance that lends added dimension to what is already a devastatingly effective and multi-faceted story.  Andrews has probably never been better, nor has Teresa Wright, with their final scene together delivering a substantial payoff for the film as a whole.

March and Loy, the two old pros, come through like gangbusters as a couple whose problems only seem to make them stronger as long if they face them together.  And in a role that displayed her dramatic talent at a time when she was known mostly for comedy, Virginia Mayo proves that she's not only a knockout but can deliver a raucous, punchy performance (her "mirror" scene with Wright dazzles, as do her frenetic exchanges with Andrews.)  Also in the cast are stalwarts such as Hoagy Carmichael, Ray Collins, Steve Cochran (as Marie's oily-haired new beau), Don Beddoe, and Gladys George.

The single-disc Blu-ray from Warner Home Video is in 1.77:1 widescreen and English 1.0 sound.  Subtitles are in English, French,  and Spanish.  Bonus features consist of a brief introduction by Virginia Mayo, interview footage with Mayo and Teresa Wright, and the theatrical trailer. 

After THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES has already put us through the wringer with its other stories of desperation and redemption,  it saves its deepest felt and most lasting impact for the final scenes between Harold Russell's "Homer" and girl-next-door Wilma (Cathy O'Donnell is sweetness incarnate in the role) finally resolving the long-running uncertainty that has lingered between them since his return.  It's one of the most heartrendingly emotional sequences I've ever seen, and if you can get through it without blubbering like a baby, then, as Kipling once said, "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!"

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE MASTER -- Blu-Ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/13/13

 

It wasn't until I looked up the lyrics to the song "Slow Boat to China" that I really started to get what Paul Thomas Anderson's THE MASTER (2012) is about.  When I understood that, the ending suddenly took on the emotional significance that I'd missed first time around. 

But that happens now and then with a movie as enigmatic as this one.  You think that little of any real depth is happening for over two hours until you can stop and look back at it all.  Anderson isn't methodically connecting the dots to reveal a big plot here.  He's interested mainly in telling us about some intriguing people and what they mean to each other.

Joaquin Phoenix plays troubled WWII veteran and drifter Freddie Quell, a man whose crudely manic obsession with sex is intertwined with a need for closeness and acceptance.  Struggling to find his way after leaving the Navy, he ends up with a burgeoning cult called The Cause, which is led by the eccentric, charismatic genius Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman, JACK GOES BOATING). 

Despite the disapproval of Dodd's domineering wife Peggy (Amy Adams) and other members of the group, Dodd finds the impulsive, unpredictable, and sometimes violent Freddie both a challenge and an inspiration, eventually making him a valued confidant and symbol of the movement's beneficial effect.  "If we cannot help him," he tells a dubious Peggy, "then it is we who have failed."

This is first demonstrated when Dodd, as payment for some wonderful homemade hooch that Freddie is known for, gives him an informal "processing" session meant to help him relive a past event and alter it for the better.  Dodd is later accused of being a simple hypnotist but we're never really sure whether or not he's a complete charlatan, especially since his wife seems so fiercely devoted to The Cause.  But he clearly thinks he can help Freddie for real, or at least turn him into everything he himself wants to be if he only had the freedom ("You will be my guinea pig and protege", he tells him) which seems to invigorate him with a genuine sense of purpose.

Dodd's strange methods both anger and fascinate Freddie until he begins to actively seek his spiritual counselling.  We find out enough about Freddie during these sessions to make him even more of a sympathetic character, while in the two men we see the beginnings of a deep platonic love that will come to dominate both their lives.  Most of the rest of THE MASTER is an exploration of this strange symbiotic relationship that brings out the best and worst in both men while disrupting those around them.

In a brilliant, endlessly inventive performance by Joaquim Phoenix, Freddie Quell is wiry, twitchy, and heartrendingly needy despite an air of self-assurance.  His confusion and uncertainty are underscored by Paul Thomas Anderson's disorienting and often dreamlike images which, augmented by some stream-of-consciousness editing and a dizzying musical score, keep the viewer off-balance much of the time.  Still, Anderson's direction is utterly surehanded and glows with a keen visual sense.

Hoffman's role is less showy but, as Lancaster Dodd, he radiates an off-kilter genius similar to that of Orson Welles while letting a childlike glee show through during certain unguarded moments with Freddie.  Amy Adams, who was so wonderfully appealing in SUNSHINE CLEANING, is no less impressive here as what may be the true power behind The Cause.  The rest of the cast are fine, including Laura Dern as a fervent follower and BAD SEED Patty McCormack as a wealthy dowager who first sponsors and then takes legal action against Dodd.

The Blu-Ray/DVD combo from Image Entertainment is in 1.85:1 letterbox with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras consist of 20 minutes of outtakes and additional scenes  (very nicely edited together and scored), an 8-minute short "Unguided Message", teasers and trailers, and (Blu-Ray only) John Huston's 1946 documentary about WWII veterans, "Let There Be Light."  The keepcase contains a postcard of Philip Seymour Hoffman to send to some unsuspecting person on your mailing list.

Paul Thomas Anderson seems to be inviting viewers to watch his enigmatic character study more than once and figure things out for themselves.  It's not a movie that lays everything out neatly for us to fully assimilate first time around.  If you want, you can explore it, mine it for nuggets, and interpret it freely.  THE MASTER ends with a whispered, acapella rendition of "Slow Boat to China", in a lovely platonic love scene that's about as disarming as anything I've seen in quite awhile.

THE MASTER -- Blu-Ray/DVD Review by Porfle

PROTEGE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/20/09

 

If you saw DONNIE BRASCO (or better yet, read the riveting book by Joe Pistone, who lived it), you'll already have an idea of the conflicting loyalties and constant fear of discovery experienced by undercover cop Nick (Daniel Wu) in the offbeat Hong Kong cop thriller PROTEGE, aka "Moon To" (2007).

For years Nick has been living as the trusted protege to Lin Quin (a makeup-aged Andy Lau), an ailing heroin kingpin who wishes to make a last big score so that his family will be set for life when he dies. Not the usual cartoon villain, Lau portrays Quin as a practical businessman who loves his family and rationalizes that his drugs only ruin the lives of weak-willed lowlifes. But when a botched drug raid indicates a rat within the organization with Nick as a suspect, Quin displays his ruthless and lethal side in a tense interrogation scene.

As Donnie Brasco developed warm feelings for his aging mob mentor Benjamin 'Lefty' Ruggiero over the years, so Nick finds himself caring for the dying Quin and his unsuspecting family. But the pain and suffering caused by Quin's heroin is brought home when Nick meets Fan (Zhang Jing Chu), a single mother living in his apartment building with her adorable three-year-old daughter. Fan is a wretched addict hiding from the abusive husband (Louis Koo) who got her hooked and who uses their own daughter to help him smuggle drugs. As Nick becomes more involved with Fan, trying his best to help her and her daughter, his inner conflicts slowly begin to reach a breaking point.

PROTEGE isn't your typical Hong Kong actioner--there isn't a single chop, kick, or really outlandish stunt--but the human drama is pretty intense. Just as you start to think it's going to be all about police vs. bad guys, the story goes in unexpected directions as Nick's relationships with Quin and Fan keep him in constant emotional turmoil.

The very first scene gives a good indication that we're in for something unusual. With brilliantly sunlit clouds swirling past outside, Fan shoots up in her crumbling apartment, then slowly sinks onto the couch, dead to the world. As harsh light shines through paper-patched windows and ragged curtains drift in the breeze, a bright red doll carriage rolls into the frame. Fan's daughter approaches her mother tentatively, plucks the needle from her arm, toddles over to the wastebasket, and daintily drops it in, as though she's done this countless times before. The scene is both horrible yet somehow dreamily ethereal, and a provocative way to start a movie.

Former Shaw Brothers actor Derek Yee's direction is sharp and imaginative yet remarkably unflamboyant, allowing him to emphasize certain scenes using only subtle stylistic changes. When he slowly rocks his camera from side to side during Nick and Fan's disturbing sex scene (Nick is awakened on the couch by a heroin-addled Fan and then frightened by her ecstatic convulsions during intercourse) it isn't merely to make the visuals more kinetic but to convey her disorientation from reality and his own confused feelings.

Certain moments related to Fan's shocking deterioration seem right out of a horror movie, while time-lapse shots of roiling clouds speeding past her slumlike apartment building (Yee photographs this location and its slovenly interiors beautifully) are unsettlingly surreal. Conversely, the film assumes a colorful travelogue look when Quin takes Nick to Thailand to meet the main man in the heroin chain. Beautiful country settings with hazy blue mountains and dazzling poppy fields serve as a stark contrast to the dark, miserable end result of such an endeavor.

Yee's screenplay is intended to enlighten us about the various aspects and consequences of heroin trafficking, and from this pastoral starting point (which sometimes has the bland instructional tone of an educational film) we're shown how the raw materials are refined in Quin's warehouse "kitchen" and turned into bricks of almost pure heroin for distribution. Early on, a mixup of ingredients that threatens to ruin an entire batch leads to a tense montage with Quin and his employees scrambling to salvage it. Yee and editor Kong Chi-Leung speed things up here and almost have us rooting for the bad guys to succeed, which gives us an idea of what Nick's daily life must be like.

The one really riveting action sequence in the film comes when a group of Customs officers, unaware that Nick is an undercover agent, apprehend him after he leaves the kitchen and brutally beat him until he leads them back to it. Suddenly all hell breaks loose as Quin's "cooks" dash to destroy the evidence while the Customs officers break down the steel door. Their leader is played by Liu Kai Chi, who was a renegade cop in 2005's KILL ZONE (aka "Saat po long") and is even more wonderfully out-of-control here. Graphic violence ensues, and a harrowing escape attempt from a window to a balcony below leads to one of the most realistic high-fall death scenes ever filmed. This sequence definitely got my heart pounding for awhile.

Daniel Wu brings a quiet strength and intensity to his role--we can see how Nick cares not only for Fan and her child but for the devastation Quin's family will endure when his crimes are exposed. Andy Lau is so likable as Quin that we can almost sympathize with him until he expresses his contemptuous disregard for the misery he causes. As Fan, Zhang Jing Chu does a remarkable job conveying a delicate waiflike quality one moment and then transforming into a mindless degenerate the next. (Described as a "cunning linguist" in Bey Logan's commentary, she had to learn Cantonese for the part.) Louis Koo comes off as a bit of a caricature as her no-good husband, yet he's interesting to watch and his eventual fate is nicely-played. Director Yee himself appears as Nick's boss on the police force. As for Liu Kai Chi, well, he's a wild man. I love the guy.

In 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound, the DVD looks and sounds fine. While this Dragon Dynasty release contains only one disc, there are the usual substantive extras, including the highly-informed and enthusiastic commentary we've come to expect from Hong Kong cinema expert Bey Logan. There's a well-produced "making of" featurette that lasts almost half an hour, followed by low-key, thoughtful interviews with Daniel Wu, Zhang Jing Chu, and producer Peter Chan. These indicate the depth of interest in the subject by all involved and how much research was done, particularly in talking to actual addicts and trying to discern what leads them to pursue heroin use at the cost of their own lives. The theatrical trailer is included, and the film can be watched in either the original Cantonese or the English dub with subtitles for the hard-of-hearing.

PROTEGE is that rare thriller that is so emotionally involving that it doesn't need to keep the viewer's interest stoked with a succession of fights and stunts. Rapid-fire editing and flashy camerawork are used sparingly (and are all the more effective for it in certain scenes), with the emphasis placed instead on rich characterizations, gripping suspense, and some images that are genuinely haunting. "Why do people take drugs?" Nick keeps asking himself throughout the story, and at the end, he finds out the hard way.

 

PROTEGE -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted in 2006 

 

Heather (Agnes Bruckner) is a troubled girl who doesn't get along with her mom.  One day she decides to express her pent-up feelings by setting fire to the woods next to her house, almost burning it down.  Now her bitchy, self-centered mom (Emma Campbell) and her sympathetic dad (the redoubtable Bruce Campbell) are taking her to an exclusive and very secluded girls' boarding school in the middle of a dense, dark forest.  Here, in this strict and highly regimented atmosphere deep in THE WOODS (2006), it is hoped that Heather will learn to be a proper young lady who doesn't set things on fire.

Things begin to look creepy right away; the school is a large, foreboding building that is hundreds of years old and has vines growing through all the windows and across the walls, all the teachers are spinsterish former students who are weird, and the headmistress, Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson), is a strange woman who always looks like there's something dark and ominous on her mind.  She gives Heather a peculiar aptitude test, ostensibly to determine whether or not she qualifies for a scholarship.  But, as it turns out later, this test is for a far different purpose altogether.



Heather makes friends with a timid girl named Marcy (Lauren Birkell) and enemies with the school bitch, Samantha (Rachel Nichols), while doing her best to alienate her teachers enough to get sent home.  Meanwhile, she begins to have frightening nightmares about wandering through the dark woods and encountering ghostly figures that come after her.  She also notices that a particular bed in the corner, about four bunks down from hers, is always empty.  It belongs to Ann, a girl who supposedly tried to kill herself a few weeks earlier. 

When Ann finally returns, her wrists wrapped in gauze, she appears haunted and deeply disturbed.  Heather awakens that night to see a thick tangle of vines creeping over the floor toward Ann's bed, covered by a blanket of mist. Was this a dream?  In any case, the next morning Ann's bed is empty once again, save for a pile of leaves shaped like a human body.  Woo-OOO-ooo...!

And things are just getting started.  THE WOODS is an engaging and very well-rendered spook tale that has a few elements in common with SUSPIRIA, and although it isn't quite as scary or as beautiful as Dario Argento's masterpiece, it's still directed with great care and skill by Lucky McKee (MAY) and exquisitely photographed and edited.  It also reminds me of some of those atmospheric Canadian horror flicks I used to watch on cable and VHS back in the early 80s.  And the fact that it's a period piece, taking place in 1965 and featuring some cool Leslie Gore songs including the classic "You Don't Own Me", gives it added ambience. 



It doesn't rely on blood and gore for its scares, but doesn't shy away from it, either--there are some pretty splattery scenes here and there, especially when certain characters start to wield a big, red axe that figures prominently throughout.  And when the woods attack and it's time to crank up the old CGI, it actually looks fairly convincing for a change.

The mystery behind the school deepens as Heather discovers more about its history--mainly the story of three strange girls who emerged from the woods one day about a hundred years earlier and were taken in.  They later turned out to be witches, and began to exert their evil influence in bad ways.  The headmistress at the time tried to stop them, and the main witch introduced her to the big, red axe.  Now, Heather realizes that the school is still in the witch business and is recruiting girls who excell in Ms. Traverse's "aptitude test", and who can hear the voices in the woods calling to them as Heather does. 

In fact, as it turns out, "the force" is particularly strong with Heather and Ms. Traverse has something especially bad planned for her.  And as bad turns to worse, Heather is eventually told that it's her turn to sleep in the empty bed in the corner.  Woo-OOO-ooo...!  (Okay, I'll stop doing that now.)

Agnes Bruckner is an appealing young actress and does a fine job as Heather, and the rest of the cast, both young and old, are outstanding as well.  As Ms. Traverse, Patricia Clarkson is just as good at playing restrained, understated creepiness as she was as Margaret White in the excellent TV remake of CARRIE.  And Bruce Campbell...well, he's Bruce Campbell.  He's great as good ol' Dad, eventually racing to his daughter's rescue as she's trapped in the horrific culmination of the witches' evil machinations.  He even gets to wield the big, red axe!  But watch out, Bruce...as Scotty tried to tell you way back in THE EVIL DEAD:  "But the trees, Ash.  They know.  Don't you see, Ash?  They're alive!"

THE WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE FOREST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/4/16

 

Try getting lost in a forest, and you'll understand what a scary place it can be.  Naturally, it's been the setting for horror films that either pretty much get it right (THE WOODS) or woefully get it wrong (THE EVIL WOODS).

Director Jason Zada's THE FOREST (2016) pretty much gets it right.  In fact, for a movie about a forest in which a forest is the star--namely, the lush, legendary Aokigahara Forest in Japan, in which people are said to lose themselves in order to commit suicide--this one is about as spooky and evocative as such a film can get.

From the moment we see Sara Price (Natalie Dormer, W.E., THE HUNGER GAMES, "Game of Thrones") getting her first psychic premonition that her identical twin sister Jess is in danger in said forest, and immediately flying to Tokyo where the missing sister teaches English, we're already beginning a gradual descent into this film's somber and oppressively ominous mood. 

Not only is an overall ambience of creepiness established early, but Sara hasn't even left her hotel and entered the forest before we're subjected to the first in a series of jump scares that flash-freeze the blood. 

Some of these, as in HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959), involve frizzy-haired old ladies.  Who, coincidentally, have often been left to die in the forest in years past by families who didn't know what else to do with them. 

Even when THE FOREST isn't goosing us, it's creeping us out in other ways.  Not the least of these is when Sara enters a visitors' center and is left in a room full of dead bodies that have been retrieved from the forest.  When one of them appears to move, is it really happening, or is Sara's mind already playing tricks on her?  This question will be a major concern throughout the story.

Sara meets a handsome Australian journalist named Aiden (Taylor Kinney, ZERO DARK THIRTY) who's about to trek into the woods with an experienced guide, Michi (Yukiyoshi Ozawa), and invites her along if he can include her in the article he's writing.  We share her relief in finding a kindred spirit such as he, but also her misgivings about his motives. (Was that a glint of recognition in his eyes when he first saw her?)

Thus begins the heart of the film's gripping story, replete with the dead bodies of those who have committed suicide, angry and terrifying ghosts who may or may not be real, teasing clues concerning Jess' whereabouts, and Sara's continuing doubts about both Aiden's trustworthiness and her own sanity.  Doubts which we, the viewers, must apprehensively share as things get scarier and scarier and we see it all through her eyes.

THE FOREST establishes an extremely effective fact-based mythology about the "suicide forest" that makes us fear any deviation from the beaten path (from which the main characters must, of course, deviate) and dread the prospect of being left out there all alone in the dark of night. 

It also has a way of deriving supernatural-type scares from even the more realistic situations in which Sara's overactive imagination gets the better of her.  This eventually brings us to a point where potential madness and delusion are far more frightening than ghosts. 

The beautifully-photographed forest locations are richly foreboding, while the Japanese setting with its history of ghost stories and legends adds to the exotic nature of the story. 

The filmmakers really run with this premise--ghosts, dead people, horrifying visions that may or may not be there--and just keep thinking of ways to creep us out with it.  Even when the film is unable to fully maintain its level of sustained fear, it stays interesting enough to keep our attention the whole time. 

Dormer finds just the right note to play Sara, somewhere between anxiety and resignation, while searching for her trouble-prone twin.  Kinney remains jovial but enigmatic as Aiden, and like Sara we're never quite sure of him.  The rest of the cast are good including Eoin Macken ("Merlin") as Sara's concerned husband Rob.

The Blu-ray+Digital HD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment is in 1080p high resolution widescreen with English DTS-HD master audio 5.1.  Subtitles are in English, French, and Spanish.  Extras include the featurette "Exploring 'The Forest'", galleries, storyboards, and an intimate commentary track by director Jason Zada.

With moments that'll have you jumping in your seat and an overall feeling of creeping fear, THE FOREST overcomes even its occasional lapses and a not-quite-satisfying ending (for me, anyway) to succeed as a memorably effective and exceedingly well-made modern horror story. 

THE FOREST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

A GOOD WOMAN -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(This review originally appeared online in 2006 and was reposted on 3/4/13.)

 

When I first saw the trailer, I got the impression this was going to be an utterly serious drama about infidelity. So I was pretty surprised to find that A GOOD WOMAN (2004) is not only studiously droll, but it's based on Oscar Wilde's play "Lady Windermere's Fan."

I like Oscar Wilde because no matter what he wrote, almost every page has several quotable quips that are amusingly clever and insightful, or just amusingly snide. This movie has a good number of such lines, but I only recognized a few of them from the play itself, so scriptwriter Howard Himelstein must've either come up with them on his own or mined other Oscar Wilde works for them, or both.

"Some women bring happiness wherever they go. Others--whenever they go."

The latter is certainly true of Mrs. Erlynne (Helen Hunt), whose livelihood consists of leeching off of well-to-do married men until their wives finally get wise and start closing her bank accounts. Currently finding herself without such support, she hops an ocean liner to Italy in search of greener wallets and soon casts a predatory eye on the husband of young Lady Windermeyer (Scarlett Johansson), or "Meg" when she's at home.

Meg and Robert (Mark Umbers) have been married for only a year and are blissfully happy, which will soon change drastically after Mrs. Erlynne encounters Robert in a shop as he's picking out a gift for Meg's birthday. Mrs. Erlynne persuades him to buy her a fan, which will figure prominently in the plot later on, and then goes about sinking her claws into him.

"Marital bliss is a great burden to place on two people. Sometimes a third person is needed to lighten the load."

Before long, all the wealthy vacationers along the Italian coast are abuzz with gossip about Robert's numerous secret visits to "that wicked woman's" apartment, especially the dotty old Contessa Lucchino (Milena Vukotic). Not only is she Meg's friend, but her brother-in-law Tuppy (Tom Wilkinson, who played Carmine Falcone in BATMAN BEGINS and is very likable here) has fallen under Mrs. Erlynne's spell and is resolved to marry her despite her infamous reputation.

Meanwhile, the amorous and gleefully immoral Lord Darlington (Stephen Campbell Moore) has the hots for Meg and is circling around her seemingly doomed marriage like a vulture. And Meg, of course, eventually discovers what everyone else is already gossiping their heads off about and is devastated.

Up to that point, A GOOD WOMAN seems to be a rather dry attempt at comedy with an overly-realistic tone, and the fact that most of the characters go around spouting impossibly witty, though amusing, one-liners with every breath gives the dialogue an artificial quality. These jaded sophisticates just aren't farcical enough to rattle off epigrams like "sausages and women--if you want to enjoy the experience, never watch the preparation of either" or "I like America...name me another society that's gone from barbarism to decadence without bothering to create a civilization in between" off the top of their heads. That sort of thing plays okay in a broader comedy, especially if it's being performed onstage and set in an earlier era. But against the backdrop of the Italian coast in 1930, with the realistic atmosphere and period detail of a film like THE GREAT GATSBY, it seems almost surreal.

And when Meg happens to look through her husband's checkbook and finds that he's been paying large sums of money to Mrs. Erlynne all along (the final tip-off that he's cheating on her), the movie takes a somewhat jarring turn into the utter seriousness that the trailer seemed to suggest. Director Mike Barker even gives us a shot in which an overhead camera pulls slowly away from Meg as she sits at the desk, heartbroken. Later, on Lord Darlington's yacht after Meg has made the agonizing decision to leave Robert and run away with her foppish admirer, a final showdown between Meg and Mrs. Erlynne is painfully melodramatic, almost soap-operatic. There's even a "you're hurting me!" thrown in for good measure (I thought Frank Drebin was the only person who could still say that with a straight face).

So, curious as to just how far the tone of A GOOD WOMAN had strayed from the play on which it is based, I resolved to actually read "Lady Windermere's Fan." To my surprise, the original play isn't the lighthearted farce I expected it to be. There are a lot of great comedy lines and funny situations, to be sure, but there's also a good deal of straight-faced drama. Although the movie takes enormous liberties with the play, the most important scenes--Meg's birthday party being disrupted by the arrival of Mrs. Erlynne, their confrontation at Lord Darlington's, and the final resolution--are represented well enough to remain more or less true to the tone of the play.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

The best part of the movie, in fact, is its handling of the play's final act, in which Mrs. Erlynne pays a last, highly-emotional visit to the Windermere home and finds redemption. Earlier on, there's a huge plot twist that I'm not even going to hint to you about, and the way it and everything else is resolved in the end is very satisfying, right up to a final surprise just before the fade-out that actually put a smile on my face. So, while I had mixed feelings about the rest of A GOOD WOMAN, the fact that I felt pretty good about it when it was over compels me to cut it considerable slack.

A GOOD WOMAN -- Movie Review by Porfle

WE ARE THE FLESH -- Movie Review by Porfle

(Originally posted in 2017)

 

Sometimes you finish watching a movie and think, "Well, that was weird."  With WE ARE THE FLESH (2016), you may find yourself saying that after every scene.  Maybe even every single thing that happens in every scene.

The premise is simple--a very strange and twisted man named Mariano (Noé Hernández in gleefully-crazed mode) is up to something very strange and twisted in an abandoned building, and when homeless brother and sister Lucio (Diego Gamaliel) and Maria (Maria Evoli) enter the building seeking food and shelter, they enter into Mariano's world.  What follows is complete and utter madness.

Mariano's madness is expressed verbally through his incessant wild-eyed philosophizing, which lays bare the inner roilings of his squirming id.  Since philosophy and madness can be an unsettling combination, this alone is enough to leave us reeling. 

Fueled by endless exuberance and made manifest with a manic industriousness--in which he forces his two unwilling charges to participate--the result is a nightmare of horror and perversion limited only by a wholly unfettered imagination.

What follows is a dizzying cinematic freefall into the most extreme depths of depravity in which such things as incest and necrophilia are only the start.  This is filmmaking on a subconscious level, with no limits or boundaries. 

The abundant amounts of sex and violence are both graphic and grotesque.  In fact, once this film gets cranked up, very little occurs that isn't shockingly, disturbingly grotesque. 

 

Needless to say, this film is not--I repeat, NOT--for everyone.

Eventually I reached a point where I stopped trying to evaluate WE ARE THE FLESH on a technical level--that this is writer-director Emiliano Rocha Minter's first feature film is something of an artistic marvel--and just found myself trying to endure it.  Most of it is very hard to get through, and I couldn't wait for several of the scenes to end. 

Comparisons to other filmmakers come to mind.  I kept being reminded of the work of Spanish surrealist Fernando Arrabal, whose images are similarly outlandish and disturbing, and that of David Lynch during his willfully strange ERASERHEAD days. 

The joyful reveling in the grotesque also reminded me of PINK FLAMINGOS-era John Waters, while some of the imagery that's just plain out-there seems like it could've been conceived by a deranged Stanley Kubrick tripping his head off on LSD. 



Much of the story takes place within a giant fabricated womb, writhing with naked bodies caked in blood and filth and engaged in acts so degrading as to give even the most jaded viewer second thoughts about whether or not they should even be watching.  I began to seriously question if doing so could by any stretch of the imagination be described as "entertainment." 

So there you have it.  WE ARE THE FLESH, whatever else it may be, is a stunningly effective descent into the underbelly of cinema which, depending on your individual tastes, tolerances, and/or convictions, has the power to either rivet or repel. 

As for me personally, I didn't enjoy it, but I don't think I was supposed to.  And I'm a little relieved that I didn't.

 

Spanish w/ English subtitles / 80 minutes / 1.85:1

Los Angeles Theatrical Release:
Friday, January 13, 2017
Laemmle's Ahrya Fine Arts Theatre
8556 Wilshire Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

This title will be released on Blu-ray and DVD February 14, 2017

WE ARE THE FLESH -- Movie Review by Porfle

PLANET TERROR / DEATH PROOF -- Movie Reviews by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/21/09. Contains spoilers.

 

If you grew up going to big, dark, seedy movie theaters or rundown drive-ins that showed battered, tattered, spliced-and-diced prints of cheap exploitation flicks--and loving every minute of it-- then Robert Rodriguez' incredibly well-rendered homage to all that great stuff, PLANET TERROR (2007), just might be more fun than you can handle. 

 Originally part of the Rodriguez-Tarantino team-up GRINDHOUSE, which also featured QT's roadkill thriller DEATH PROOF, PLANET TERROR now stands alone on DVD in an extended, unrated version that is pure adrenaline-fueled goofy fun from beginning to end. 

The movie plunks us smack-dab into the old grindhouse atmosphere right off the bat with original "prevues of coming attractions" and "our feature presentation" clips, along with a kickass, spot-on trailer parody for a fictitious flick called MACHETE starring the ever-popular Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding badass for hire. It's only a couple of minutes long, but it contains enough outrageous action clips and gravely-intoned taglines ("If you're going to hire him to kill the bad guy--you'd better make damn sure the bad guy isn't YOU!") to make us wish it was a real movie. (Which it soon will be, apparently--according to IMDb, Rodriguez is preparing MACHETE for an 2010 release.) 

After a vintage clip informing us that the following movie is intended for adults only, PLANET TERROR kicks in full blast with a title sequence featuring scantily-clad star Rose McGowan doing a very energetic pole-dance in a seedy Texas club. Holy G-strings, Batman! I don't know how you'll react, but it got my full attention. Rose is definitely lookin' good these days. 

Her character, Cherry Darling, quits the club in the not-too-likely hope of becoming a stand-up comedian. On the walk home she's almost run over by a convoy of vehicles on its way to an abandoned military base. Here, a shady deal goes down between greedy scientist Abby (Naveen Andrews, "Lost") and a group of renegade soldiers led by Lt. Muldoon (Bruce Willis) concerning a mysterious toxic gas called DC-2. The soldiers, it turns out, have been exposed to the gas and now need to inhale it in measured doses to counteract its horrific effects. But the deal erupts into a bloody gunfight, and before long a cloud of DC-2 is headed toward town. 

Meanwhile, Cherry runs into her old lover Wray (Freddy Rodríguez, "Six Feet Under") in a roadside barbecue joint called The Bone Shack, which is run by the grizzled J.T. Hague (an almost unrecognizable Jeff Fahey). Cherry bums a ride home in Wray's wrecker truck, but they're attacked by some flesh-eating DC-2 zombies who make off with Cherry's right leg. 

At the hospital, soon-to-become-zombies are pouring into the emergency ward, where Josh Brolin is doing his best Nick Nolte imitation as the burnt-out, hypochondriac Dr. Block. Block is preoccupied by the fact that his wife, Dakota (Marley Shelton, SIN CITY) is having an affair with another woman played by "Fergie" of the Black-Eyed Peas, Stacy Ferguson. But he'll have more pressing concerns on his hands when the hospital begins to fill up with pus-spewing, gut-chomping zombies. 

Wray gets hauled off to jail by Sheriff Hauge (Michael Biehn), who has had previous legal troubles with him. The sheriff is J.T.'s brother, and one of the funniest running gags in the film is him desperately trying to coerce J.T. into sharing his secret barbecue sauce recipe with him. But while he's booking Wray for whatever he can think of, zombies strike the police station in force and there's another extremely bloody battle. Wray eventually makes his way back to the hospital to rescue Cherry, ramming a table leg onto the end of her stump in lieu of a more traditional prosthesis. 

The "Lt. Dan"-style missing-leg effects are awesome here, especially when Wray later replaces the table leg with a machine gun/grenade launcher that turns Cherry into one of the coolest warrior women in movie history. Yet another awesome shoot-em-up scene occurs at the besieged, flame-engulfed barbecue joint, where the non-infected survivors have congregated and we discover that Wray is really El Wray. The significance of this is never explained (not only does the film "melt" during the big sex scene, but there's actually a missing reel!) but it's enough to convince Sheriff Hague, who tells his deputy, "Give him a gun. Give him all the guns." 

The survivors' flight down the highway in whatever escape vehicles they can scrounge up is a thrilling sequence highlighted by the sheriff bashing zombie pedestrians to bloody smithereens in Wray's wrecker while Wray heads the convoy on a tiny pocket bike. The finale occurs at the old military base after they've all been detained by Lt. Muldoon and his renegade soldiers. Tarantino turns up as a lecherous psycho who tries to act out his women-in-cages fantasies with Cherry and Dakota, and ends up "getting the point", so to speak. His performance has been derided by some, but Tarantino knows exactly what kind of character he's playing and does it to a tee. (He also gets to perform the film's biggest gross-out scene, and boy, is it gross.) 

The good guys eventually escape from their cells and battle their way toward a helicopter, and not only does everything blow up real good but Cherry gets a mind-boggling opportunity to display her newly-developed battle skills in one of the coolest scenes ever. All of this weird, wild stuff is wrought with all the directorial skills, grindhouse nostalgia, and giddy Monster Kid glee that Robert Rodriguez can muster. Once this thing gets started, it's non-stop over-the-top action all the way, drenched in gouts of fake blood 'n' guts and brimming with all the wonderful 70s exploitation elements Rodriguez can cram into it. 

Stylistically, it's a near-perfect homage, complete with scratchy film, bad edits and splices to give it the look of an old, battered print that's been shown too many times, arch dialogue, and special effects that are well-rendered while being intentionally cheesy-looking. With the DVD's audience-reaction track activated, which to me is the only way to watch this film, it's like sitting in a cheap theater back in the old days. Rodriguez' conviction to go all the way with this concept has resulted in one of the most fun movies I've ever seen. 

The entire cast is outstanding. Michael Parks returns as Texas Ranger Earl McGraw, a character that has appeared in Rodriguez' FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and Tarantino's KILL BILL and is further developed here. Gore makeup master Tom Savini and the original "El Mariachi" himself, Carlos Gallardo, appear as deputies. Rodriguez' twin nieces, Elise and Electra Avellán, play the Crazy Babysitter Twins, who should definitely be in their own movie. And his son Rebel does a nice job as the Blocks' young son, Tony, who loves tarantulas and scorpions but should never be trusted with a gun. 

This DVD is one of the best Christmas gifts I ever got. Rarely have I had this much pure, unadulterated fun watching a movie. Of course, if you're one of those people who post on IMDb asking puzzled questions like "what's with all the scratches?" or pointing out all the obvious "goofs" and "gaffes", this movie probably isn't for you. But if you're an old-school flick fan who gets what Robert Rodriguez is up to here from the git-go, then chances are PLANET TERROR is an exploitation extravaganza that will be held over for an extended run in your home grindhouse theater.  

 

Having gone ga-ga over PLANET TERROR, I couldn't wait to see the other half of the GRINDHOUSE double-feature he and collaborator Quentin Tarantino unleashed on widely unsuspecting audiences in '07. QT's muscle-car mayhem epic DEATH PROOF, while not as over-the-top awesome as Rodriguez' film, is still a pure, giddy joy that revels in the down and dirty delights of its low-budget inspirations. 

We're first introduced to four lovely young wimmins cruising the Tex-Mex diners and bars of Austin, Texas, yakking endlessly about guys and planning an all-girl party at Lake LBJ. There's the petite blonde, Shanna (Cheryl Ladd's daughter Jordan of HOSTEL PART II and CABIN FEVER), leather-clad tough chick Lanna-Frank (Monica Staggs), sexy Brooklyn gal Butterfly (Vanessa Ferlito), and locally-famous radio DJ Jungle Julia (Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Sidney's daughter). 

Rose McGowan, the star of PLANET TERROR, plays a smaller role here as Pam, Julia's grade-school rival who shows up at the Texas Chili Parlor run by Warren (Tarantino) while the girls are there partying with some horny guys that include a funny Eli Roth (HOSTEL). And, for the record, PLANET TERROR's ever-popular Crazy Babysitter Twins are there as well. 

Also sitting at the bar stuffing himself with nacho platters is the burly, scarfaced Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a washed-up Hollywood stuntman who takes an interest in the girls and, through a series of circumstances, ends up getting a lap dance from Butterfly in a steamy set-piece. While Stuntman Mike seems friendly enough, there's something creepy and vaguely dangerous about him. 

But Pam needs a ride home and climbs into his black '69 Dodge Charger, which, as Mike tells her, is so heavily-reinforced for stuntwork as to be "death proof." This, however, only applies to the person behind the wheel, which Pam finds out to her immense regret as soon as they hit the street. 

The first half of DEATH PROOF has the same battered, scratchy, spliced-to-hell look of PLANET TERROR, which should bring back fond memories to anyone who's actually been in a grindhouse or watched a midnight show where the print was as old as they are. For me, the nostalgic joy began in the very first seconds as soon as I heard that awesome bass line from Jack Nitszche's VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS theme, otherwise known as "The Last Race." Then the title, which, for a split second, is "Quentin Tarantino's Thunder Bolt" until the words "DEATH PROOF" are crudely spliced in, mimicking the look of all those cheap films that have been re-released under different titles. Another jarring splice cuts the title sequence short and dumps us into the movie proper. 

 Later, reel changes are clearly heralded by splotchy indicators and one of the biggest moments of the film, Butterfly's lap dance for Stuntman Mike, ends abruptly due to missing footage. This is the kind of stuff that will mean nothing to a lot of viewers, and in fact seems to put many of them off--which is probably one of the main reasons public reaction to this movie has been so divided--but it makes me as giddy as a schoolgirl. 

What happens midway through DEATH PROOF is one of the most thrilling and totally unexpected scenes of recent years--I had to rewind and watch it two or three times just convince myself that this flabbergasting event really happened. Then, after a denouement which features yet another welcome appearance by Michael Parks' Texas Ranger character Earl McGraw, who got his brains blown out way back in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN but refuses to die, the movie blinks forward fourteen months and transports us to Lebanon, Tennessee, where Stuntman Mike is up to his old tricks again. 

This time, we meet four more young women who are in town for the making of a softcore "cheerleader" movie. Rosario Dawson (SIN CITY) is makeup artist Abbie, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is the movie's cutie-pie star, Lee. Their two friends are hardcore stuntwomen Kim (Tracie Thoms) and real-life stuntwoman Zoë Bell, who plays herself. Zoë's dream is to drive a white 1970 Dodge Challenger with a 440 engine, just like the one in VANISHING POINT. 

 Sure enough, there's a guy in town with one for sale, and before long, the girls (minus Lee) are out for a pedal-to-the-metal test drive that includes a hair-raising stunt called "Ship's Mast" with Zoë sprawled across the car's hood. This, of course, is when Stuntman Mike makes a surprise reappearance, crashing into the Challenger and then trying to run it off the road in a prolonged, stunt-packed pursuit over rural roads and highways. 

 Having a real stuntwoman playing a main role adds to the excitement because we see her face the whole time and know she's really doing all of this dangerous and thrilling stuff herself. Tarantino also uses legendary veterans such as Buddy Joe Hooker and Terry Leonard for the driving stunts, allowing him to indulge his imagination with some of the most incredible set-ups ever filmed. "Adrenaline-charged" would be an apt way to describe this harrowing car chase sequence, all the way up to the truly kooky ending in which the girls turn the tables on ol' Stuntman Mike. 

 The battered-print look disappears in DEATH PROOF's second half, as though we're now seeing another kind of exploitation flick--perhaps the more upper-scale stuff (GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS, VANISHING POINT, et al) that Kim and Zoë like to gush about. One thing that remains consistent throughout the movie, though, is Quentin Tarantino's well-known obsession with female feet. If you're a foot fetishist too, you'll love this movie from the very first frame, as this appears to be Tarantino's substitute for the gratuitous "boob shots" often seen in the usual grindhouse fare. 

There's also an abundance of big butts, gorgeous legs, and stuffed shirts, all lovingly photographed by a gleefully leering QT. Sydney Tamiia Poitier, in particular, proves a highly photogenic focus for such directorial indulgence. I'm not complaining. 

I have heard complaints that much of the girls' dialogue scenes in this movie are too ponderous and not as witty or clever as the "royale with cheese"-type stuff from PULP FICTION. Me, I just like to hear Tarantino's characters talk, even when it isn't all deliciously quotable. These long yakkity-yak scenes also help us get to know the characters before they're subjected to extreme terror and peril by Stuntman Mike. As the crazed highway stalker, Kurt Russell is simply wonderful. Relaxed, jovial, but somehow not quite right, Mike is a great character and Russell is obviously having a ball playing him. 

Tarantino has already wowed the mainstream with RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION--here he's content to give us old-time, pre-multiplex movie fans like himself a thoroughly entertaining thrill ride down memory lane in a souped-up exploitation flick with a defiant get-it-or-don't attitude. Like PLANET TERROR, the other half of this heartfelt love letter to grindhouse fans, DEATH PROOF doesn't need mainstream acceptance to validate it or make it good. It's critic-proof.

 

 

PLANET TERROR / DEATH PROOF -- Movie Reviews by Porfle