THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/11/21

 

Currently watching: THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966), the last American-International teen flick to bear even the slightest resemblance to the studio's original "Beach Party" series that began in 1963 and lasted until original stars Frankie and Annette had moved on to other things and only a few hardy supporting players and extras still remained.

For the first time, there's no reference whatsoever to the beach or surfing. In a repeat of the earlier PAJAMA PARTY, the action takes place in a large mansion (this time, it's the haunted hideaway of recently-deceased Hiram Stokely, played by a very aged Boris Karloff) and its swimming pool, giving the cast an excuse to cavort in bikinis and swim trunks and flail around to the music of a bland rock 'n' roll band, the Bobby Fuller Four.

Basil Rathbone (SON OF FRANKENSTEIN, "Sherlock Holmes" series) plays Hiram's crooked attorney, Reginald Ripper, who plans to eliminate the old man's heirs after they assemble for the reading of his will. They include beach-movie veterans Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley, along with venerable comic actress Patsy Kelly as "Myrtle Forbush." 

 

Aiding in Ripper's deadly scheme is his cohort J. Sinister Hulk (Jesse "Maytag Repairman" White), along with series regular Bobbi Shaw and Benny Rubin as Princess Yolanda and Chief Chicken Feather. All three characters are holdovers from PAJAMA PARTY, although Rubin replaces an ailing Buster Keaton who originated the role.

Of course, Harvey Lembeck is on hand as motorcycle gang leader Eric Von Zipper, with his usual motley mob of sycophantic cycle stupes. This time, he falls in love with Princess Yolanda, thus giving the writers an excuse to have Von Zipper and crew scurrying around the mansion along with everyone else once the plot, as it is, finally goes into high gear.

When Myrtle's nephew Bobby (Aron Kincaid, whom I think of as "the male Joy Harmon") shows up with a double decker bus full of swinging teens who turn the mansion into party central, the search for Hiram's hidden fortune quickly becomes a frenetic free-for-all as the rightful heirs clash with Ripper's dastardly baddies and a gaggle of spooks and monsters have the freaked-out teens going ape.

 

This will lead to an extravagantly silly finale that's like a deluxe live-action episode of "Scooby-Doo", only dumber and less coherent as everyone runs screaming hither and yon throughout the mansion (finally ending up in old Hiram's ghastly torture chamber) while some of the hoariest gags and haunted house tropes imaginable are recycled by former Three Stooges writer Elwood Ullman, who co-wrote the script with beach-party regular Louis M. Heyward.

Amidst all this, the simple romantic subplot between Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley is barely given a chance to develop. Meanwhile, Ripper's gorgeous but evil daughter Sinistra (Quinn O'Hara) directs all her considerable seductive powers toward eliminating Myrtle's nephew Bobby (I forgot why), a goal that's repeatedly thwarted by her extreme nearsightedness.

Also appearing in the film are Nancy Sinatra (who sings the wince-inducing "Geronimo"), a young Danny Thomas discovery named Piccola Pupa (who's cute but not much of a singer), famed gorilla suit actor George Burrows as "Monstro", and former silent film star Francis X. Bushman (BEN HUR), who joins the rest of the cast's rather impressive group of vintage stars having some late-career fun (we hope) in this bit of nonsense.

 

Not the least of these is the great Boris Karloff, whose scenes with gorgeous Susan Hart were added, according to Wikipedia, after AIP producers James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff were unhappy with the film and thought it needed improvement. In their framing scenes, Karloff, as Hiram Stokely, is awakened from death's slumber by the ghost of his dead wife Cecily (Hart) and told that they will be reunited in the afterlife if he performs one final good deed.

The result is Hart's character, clad in an "invisible bikini", being awkwardly inserted into already filmed scenes as a mischievous but helpful ghost, with cutaways to Karloff observing the action in his crystal ball and making various comments being fed to him from off-camera.

One of the film's best assets is its use of lavish sets that are obviously left over from other AIP productions. That, along with the interesting cast and an occasionally infectious sense of fun, are just about the only reasons to recommend THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI to all but the most diehard beach movie fans and lovers of bad movies in general.  As part of the latter group, I enjoyed it, but others may find it just shy of unwatchable.

THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966) -- Movie Review by Porfle

ONE WAY WAHINE (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/21/21

 

Currently watching: bouncy blonde beach goddess of the 1960s, Joy Harmon, in the incredibly obscure beach flick ONE WAY WAHINE (1965).

If you're a fan of the divine Joy Harmon, chances are you've already watched her magnum opus, VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (also from 1965) numerous times. You'll also have fond memories of her legendary car-washing scene in COOL HAND LUKE two years later.

And vintage TV fans will even recall her charming appearances with an eyebrow-waggling Groucho Marx on his classic 1950s-era shows "You Bet Your Life" and "Tell It To Groucho" under the name "Patty Harmon."

 

Joy popped up in several other movies and TV episodes during her career, which spanned from 1956 to 1973, but her only starring role seems to be in the little-known ONE WAY WAHINE. ("It rhymes with bikini!" the poster tells us.)

Shot on a miniscule budget by a long-forgotten production company, this odd little film features Joy as Kit, an impossibly tanned beach bunny who, when not drawing the attention of every man in sight sunbathing on a Hawaiian beach, likes to wander from party to party while making a meager living doing whatever she can to get by.

We first see her stretched out on a beach towel looking almost as dark as "Tan Mom" but without the use of a tanning booth. She's being ogled via binoculars by a couple of fugitives from a Chicago bank robbery, Charley and Hugo (character actors Lee Kreiger and Ken Meyer, familiar faces from such films as THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN and LITTLE BIG MAN), as they lounge on the balcony of their Hawaiian getaway pad.

 

 

When Kit's friend Lou (David Whorf) delivers some hooch to the crooked pair and deduces that they're sitting on a bundle of stolen cash, he enlists his roommate Chick (Anthony Eisley) to help cook up a plan to steal the stolen loot themselves by setting up Kit and Chick's girlfriend Brandy (Adele Claire) as call girls who will seduce the bank robbers and then slip a Mickey into their drinks.

From the plot description, one can easily surmise that this is anything but the usual "beach party" teen movie. In fact, it's hard to figure out just who the filmmakers were aiming this pleasantly odd diversion at besides Joy Harmon fans hoping to catch her in and out of her clothes while basking in her bubbly dumb-blonde (but not that dumb) persona. (Her energetic dance to the film's theme song is a highlight.)

And unlike the standard beach movies, there's no surfing, romantic complications, zany supporting characters (unless one counts a bearded, unrecognizable Edgar Bergen as aging beach bum Sweeney and "Green Acres" icon Alvy Moore as Kit's amorous landlord), or big-name rock 'n' roll stars. 

 

 

In fact, most of the people in this movie are well past even pretending to be teenagers. (Pretty Adele Claire could even be described as a "milf.")

Despite various attempts at lightheartedness, the plan that our two main couples are hatching has an air of real danger about it (especially after we see bank robber Charley cleaning his automatic weapon which he always keeps at the ready).

When a dolled-up Kit and Brandy finally show up at Charley and Hugo's pad with knockout pills ready to slip into their drinks, the preliminary partying leads to one bad break after another for the girls until, to our dismay, fists start flying and the attempts at sex become wildly non-consensual. And the situation actually escalates from there.

 

 

While the first half of the film drags a bit and gives no indication that it will ever actually become more than a somewhat endearingly cheap novelty, the second half got my movie-watching juices flowing nicely. And the Hawaiian backdrop is a big improvement over the dreary beaches where Frankie and Annette used to hang out.

The cast is made up mainly of recognizable old pros (Eisley, Kreiger, Meyer, Bergen) who help us get past the film's low budget and its bland "point and shoot" directing style. (I won't comment on the image and color quality, sound, etc. since the copy I watched was anything but optimum.)

And of course there's the divine Joy, who provides fans with some delectable eye candy while fully displaying her sparkling personality. She's the main reason for spending time on a mildly diverting but otherwise wholly unexceptional obscurity like ONE WAY WAHINE, and it's to her credit that the time, for me anyway, felt not so badly spent.

ONE WAY WAHINE (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

BIKINI BEACH (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 5/16/21

 

Currently re-watching: The third film in the "Beach Party" series, 1964's BIKINI BEACH. This one begins as they usually do, with our fun-loving teens on another school break and hitting the beach and the girls sequestering themselves in separate sleeping quarters that the boys would love to move into themselves.

Naturally, good girl Annette Funicello serves as unofficial chaperone, making it even more difficult for horn-dogging hot-dogger Frankie Avalon to score with her. Both sides are caught up in constant ogling and lusting after each other, and must spend all that pent-up energy by frantic dancing and loads of surfing.

This time, however, a new wrinkle presents itself when new British singing sensation The Potato Bug sets up a lavish tent compound on the beach and gives the girls something to really scream and dream about.  

Since this is 1964, and the movie was written by out-of-it old fogies (including director William Asher, who would go on to helm TV's "Bewitched"), the Potato Bug is used to ridicule current sensations The Beatles although the character looks and acts like a cross between Terry-Thomas and Jerry Lewis' "Nutty Professor."

Of course, Annette is on the outs with Frankie again (the guy just doesn't want to get married yet) and uses Potato Bug to make him jealous. This opens up a whole new angle on the "beach movie" premise when they end up challenging each other to a drag race presided over by local club owner/abstract painter/drag strip manager Big Drag, played by the great Don Rickles.

An additional subplot involves fuddy-duddy newspaper publisher Keenan Wynn, who wants to discredit the kids as dangerous delinquents in his papers while sympathetic teacher Martha Hyer runs interference for them. 

Keenan's assistant is a chimp named "Clyde" (Janos Prohaska, the Horta in the Star Trek episode "Devil in the Dark"), who proves how dumb the kids are by surfing, drag racing, and abstract-painting just as well or better than they do.

Motorcycle moron Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his "army of stupids" return to cause their usual trouble, helping Keenan in his efforts to thwart their mutual foes, the surfers.

Having learned how to administer "the finger" (a paralyzing move applied to the temple) from Bob Cummings in the first film, Von Zipper proceeds to accidentally use it on himself numerous times and must be carried away by his gang to sleep it off.

 

The film's fervent desire to entertain us results in a big chase scene through town involving dragsters, motorcycles, and go-carts, a combination brawl and pie fight at Big Drag's place, and much semi-hilarity involving the zany Potato Bug, who is in fact played by heavily made-up Frankie Avalon himself (although a stand-in is used in several shots) in a surprisingly comedic performance.

Perky singer Donna Loren returns to the series, and we also see the return of regulars Deadhead (Jody McCrea), hyper-kinetic go-go dancer Candy (Candy Johnson), and pretty boy John Ashley. Future "Petticoat Junction" co-star Meredith MacRae replaces Valora Noland as "Animal", and Timothy Carey is menacing as Von Zipper cohort "South Dakota Slim." As the previous films ended with cameos by horror stars Vincent Price and Peter Lorre, this one is graced by none other than the venerable Boris Karloff. 

 

Rock and roll songs are provided by some bands you probably never heard of, including one group who cocks a snoot at those wacky mop-tops from Liverpool by taking the stage at Big Drag's club in shaggy Beatle wigs and then yanking them off to reveal shaved heads.

Frankie and Annette get their own crooning in amongst the other cacophony, of course (including one number Frankie sings as "Potato Bug"), while none other than Little Stevie Wonder (as he was known then) sings us into the marathon closing credits during which world-class shaker Candy Johnson and one of the ladies from the local old folks' home have a frenzied dance-off.

Having already established the basic premise of the series and many of its recurring tropes in the first film, BIKINI BEACH wastes no time diving into all of this colorful cinematic chaos with utter abandon and a total disregard for how incredibly dumb and groan-worthy it all is. But this serves not as a drawback but as a license to pile as much dumb fun into the whole thing as possible.

BIKINI BEACH (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

SKI PARTY (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/22/21

 

Currently rewatching: SKI PARTY (1965). By this time, American-International were starting to see the writing in the sand, and, even though they still had a couple of "beach party" movies left in them, started trying to branch out into other areas of interest for ticket-buying teens.

Hence, this weird hybrid of beach-pic elements but with sand and surfing replaced by snow and skiing. This time we start off with our fun-loving teens still in college, on the verge of winter break and just roiling with hormones looking for somewhere to go and something to do.

Frankie Avalon is no longer make-out king "Frankie", but instead plays strike-out king "Todd", who, along with equally inept Craig ("Dobie Gillis" star Dwayne Hickman), spends every waking hour frantically trying to get to first base with the most romance-averse girls in the universe, Linda (Deborah Walley) and Barbara (a pre-Batgirl Yvonne Craig).

 

 
I mean, these girls are pathologically repelled by anything even slightly resembling hugging and kissing, to such a degree that they make Annette Funicello's "Dee-Dee" look like a raving nymphomaniac. (Which, in her brief cameo as a teacher, she sorta is, since we find her smooching away with a student at the drive-in.)

In one scene, the girls get together in their room for cocoa, pillow-fighting, and other girl-type stuff while enjoying a spirited discussion of all the things they've done to boys who tried to get next to them (one guy ended up with one arm, and another with a parole officer). And through it all, Linda and Barbara remain in a constant state of fuming indignance toward the guys for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Lucky for them, Todd and Craig are so irrationally devoted to winning these resolutely platonic party poopers as steady girlfriends that they follow them on a ski club field trip to the snowy slopes, despite not being able to ski.

This results in the usual sight gags about flying out-of-control down steep mountains on skis or sleds, screaming for their lives, as we cringe at the memory of various real-life celebrities who have done the same thing but with fatal results.

But that's nothing compared to some of the film's more cartoony gags, such as Todd attempting to win a ski jump contest by donning a scuba suit under his clothes and filling it with bottled helium until he's bloated like a weather balloon and drifting helplessly over the stunned crowd.  Helpful pal Craig shoots him down with a starter pistol and Todd goes spewing all over the place as the helium escapes.

I won't even try to explain why, but a major plotline involves the boys disguising themselves as girls, "Some Like It Hot" style, and pretending to be Jane and Nora from England while looking about as much like actual females as Aldo Ray in drag.

As anyone who's seen "Some Like It Hot" can guess, the school's #1 makeout king, blonde pretty-boy Freddie (Aron Kincaid, who could pass for Joy Harmon's twin brother) falls madly in love with Nora, with the usual comic complications. I almost expected a reprise of the old "Nobody's perfect" gag at the end.

Certain surefire elements from the beach movies are served up again to help things along, including bikinis (thanks to the ski lodge's big heated pool), a comical old fogie (Robert Q. Lewis as a psychologically maladjusted activity director slash chaperone), and the voluptuous Bobbi Shaw, this time given actual dialogue as a Swedish ski instructor who has Todd's heart (and other parts of his body) all a-flutter. 

 

 
Also served up are the usual bland songs, which Frankie and Deborah (and the ever-bland Hondells) try their best to croon some life into. Thankfully, however, we're treated to a couple of bonafide Top 40 legends, with Lesley Gore singing "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" on the bus to the lodge and James Brown (back in his pompadour days) and the Famous Flames performing the classic "I Feel Good" in front of the fireplace.

The film manages yet another cartoony chase sequence and ends up, strangely enough, right back on the beach for a happy fadeout. (Did you expect any other kind?) SKI PARTY is just as dumb as it sounds, but if you watch it in the right frame of mind, it's the kind of harmless fun that goes down easy.

(Note: At the end of the closing credits we're told to be on the lookout for a follow-up entitled "Cruise Party." Since I don't believe such a film exists, it seems American-International may have intended to continue their teen-movie series with variations on the "Party" theme, but the plan didn't work out.)

SKI PARTY (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Elizabeth Montgomery's Cameo In "How To Stuff A Wild Bikini" (1965) (video)

 

Elizabeth Montgomery is best known for her role as Samantha the suburban  witch in the long-running 60s-era television series "Bewitched."

Her then-husband William Asher, who produced and directed many of that show's episodes, also directed most of the original "beach party" movies...

...hence Elizabeth Montgomery's amusing cameo in "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" (1965.)

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Elizabeth Montgomery's Cameo In "How To Stuff A Wild Bikini" (1965) (video)

BEACH PARTY (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 5/16/21

 

Currently watching: I bought a DVD set with 8 of the original Frankie and Annette movies so I could relive a fun part of my childhood, and the first movie on the menu tonight is the one that started it all, BEACH PARTY (1963). 

 

Just this once, the two stars aren't Frankie and Annette, but grown-ups Bob Cummings and Dorothy Malone. 

 

Bob plays an eccentric bearded anthropologist studying teenage behavior and its similarities to the pagan rituals of primitive tribes, with Dorothy as his gorgeous female companion. 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Frankie's miffed that Annette won't fool around until marriage so he tries to make her jealous by getting cozy with the statuesque Eva Six. 

 

Annette retaliates by making moves on straight-laced Bob and helping him shed his square ways and get more into the groove.

 

Regular cast members John Ashley, hip-shaking Candy Johnson, and functioning moron Deadhead (Jody McCrea) are introduced, as are Harvey Lembeck as cycle stupe Eric Von Zipper and his loyal gang of idiots.

 

 

 

Morey Amsterdam plays an aging hipster, and even Vincent Price pops in for a cameo as "Big Daddy." Dick Dale and the Del Tones are on hand for some surf music, while Frankie and Annette take turns crooning a few sappy love songs.

 

BEACH PARTY's plot is pretty thin but that doesn't matter, since the purpose of this breezy comedy is to have a good time, ogle some bikini babes and/or beach hunks, groan at a lot of bad gags, and forget your troubles for an hour and a half.

 

 

BEACH PARTY (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

BEACH BLANKET BINGO (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/20/21

 

Currently watching: BEACH BLANKET BINGO (1965), the fourth--and arguably one of the best--of American-International's "Beach Party" series.

Anyway, it has what is probably the catchiest theme song, sung with gusto by Frankie, Annette, and the gang over some bouncy opening titles.

All the usual ingredients are here: vacationing teens having a ball at the beach, lovebirds Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello having a tiff and making each other jealous by flirting with others, an opportunistic adult trying to make a buck off them all (and played by a well-known older actor), cycle stupes Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his gang, lots of mostly bad songs, and a whole lotta slapstick nonsense.

 

 

This time, legendary comedian Paul Lynde (with whom director William Asher would later work on the TV series "Bewitched" along with Asher's wife Elizabeth Montgomery) is the greedy manager of future "Big Valley" star Linda Evans as teen singing sensation Sugar Kane, who performs a couple of bland songs.

Deborah Walley hits the beach at last as Bonnie, Sugar's skydiving stand-in during a publicity stunt, with regular John Ashley's "Johnny" character rebooted as her jealous pilot, now named "Steve." (Deborah and John would later marry in real life.) This leads to a whole subplot about Frankie and Annette competing to see who can learn to be the better skydiver.

From this comes a surprisingly jarring bit of real-world intrigue when Deborah puts the moves on Frankie while airborne and then, upon his refusal to comply, rips her blouse and threatens to accuse him of attempted rape when they land. 

 

 

 
Whoa, Nelly! Good thing Annette knows Frankie too well to fall for such a lowdown ruse, but yikes...this goes way beyond the usual teen hijinks and into genuine "fatal attraction" stuff.

The best subplot involves Jody McCrea, whose "Deadhead" character has been upgraded to "Bonehead." While helping to rescue Sugar after her pretend skydive into the ocean, he encounters a beautiful mermaid named Lorelei (played by future "Lost In Space" star Marta Kristen) and they fall in love.

Nobody will believe his claim to have met a mermaid, and their tentative romance proves both charming and genuinely heart-tugging, with Marta a winning mermaid and Jody getting to do something besides be a total blithering moron for a change.

Screen legend Buster Keaton makes his first appearance in a beach movie, along with gorgeous sidekick Bobbie Shaw as Swedish knockout "Bobbi." Despite his advanced age, The Great Stone Face still proves game enough to provide a couple of his trademark pratfalls. 

 

 

Don Rickles goes from "Big Drag" to "Big Drop" to reflect his new role as a skydiving instructor as well as owner of the club where the kids hang out and listen to The Hondells. Timothy Carey returns to up the creep factor (as only he can) as unsavory bad guy "South Dakota Slim."

Naturally, biker boob Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) eventually blows in with his army of stupids to disrupt everything by kidnapping Sugar and setting into motion an even more chaotic and cartoony chase scene than the last one, ending with Sugar tied to a log that's headed for a buzzsaw, "Perils of Pauline" style. He also manages to give himself "the finger" (a lingering holdover from the first film) a time or two as well.

By this time, the "beach party" series was on the verge of winding down and American-International would start putting its stars into different variations of it (such as "Ski Party" and "Fireball 500"). But with BEACH BLANKET BINGO we're still riding the crest of the wave along with Frankie, Annette, and the gang, and it's still just as much dumb fun as ever.

BEACH BLANKET BINGO (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

PAJAMA PARTY (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/7/21

 

Currently rewatching: If you ever wondered what a cinematic insane asylum would look like, search no farther than PAJAMA PARTY (1964).  

The fourth entry in American-International's "Beach Party" series, it takes everything from the previous films, adds a bunch of bad-sitcom-level situations, strips away any logic, dignity, and sense it may have had, and dumps it all in an industrial-strength cuisinart with no lid.

This time, the beach is barely an afterthought--we get a couple of scenes of our youthful protagonists cavorting in the sand, playing volleyball, dancing along with a dynamic young Toni Basil (who would spend the rest of the 60s in such films as VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS and EASY RIDER), and grooving to the poppy song stylings of Donna Loren.

 

After that, the gang hang out around the swimming pool of a big old mansion belonging to Aunt Wendy (Elsa Lanchester, the BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN herself) and getting ready for the big titular (so to speak) pajama party.

The mansion next door, as it turns out, houses con man J. Sinister Hulk (Jesse White, known to most boomers as the Maytag repairman) and his henchpersons Buster Keaton (as wacky Indian, Chief Rotten Eagle), gorgeous Bobbi Shaw in her trademark fur-lined gold lame' bikini, and a simpering toady named Fleegle (Ben Lessy), who are scheming to steal a hidden fortune in cash from their neighbor, Aunt Wendy.

But as if that weren't enough, Tommy Kirk (VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS, IT'S A BIKINI WORLD) stars as Go Go, a Martian sent to Earth to scout things out in preparation for an invasion. As fate would have it, he not only starts to like the life of an Earth teen, but also falls head over heels for everyone's beach bunny sweetheart, Annette. 

 

Still hanging in there from the first three films are motorcycle gang the Rats, led by the vain but totally incompetent Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck), who still can't stand the idea of these surf bums invading their beach or its environs. If you thought they were funny before, you'll continue to enjoy their usual antics and wait expectantly for Lembeck to utter his immortal line: "Why me? Why me all the time?"

If that sounds like a lot of plot for a simple teen movie, it is. Everything is dumped into a pot to boil with the various plotlines bubbling randomly to the surface, with editing that looks like film footage was chopped into pieces, tossed like a salad, and then stuck together by a nearsighted chimp.

All of which is to say that PAJAMA PARTY should appeal to those who enjoyed the undiluted silliness of the first three films but were put off by the occasional brief moments of sanity. Here, the constant clash between all the doggedly farcical plotlines results in an epic concentration of pure cinematic stupid that assails the viewer with an exhilarating abandon.

 

This includes what may be the wackiest chase sequence in the entire series--and that's saying a lot--which includes, of course, Von Zipper and his gang. The result is something that makes Looney Toons look like British drawing room drama. A few minutes in, and I'd forgotten who was chasing whom, and why, and it didn't matter.

The final segment of the film depicts what happens when poolside pajama party, bungling burglary, and impending invasion from Mars all come together to the music of generic rock 'n' roll band The Nooney Rickett Four. The Rats show up (naturally) in red long johns, just in time to engage the pajama set in a riotous free-for-all brawl that's mostly in fast-motion with lots of cartoon sound effects.

Many of the familiar background players (such as dancing dervish Candy Johnson) are back, with the addition of the aforementioned Toni Basil and future comedy legend Teri Garr. The highlight of the film for me is the presence of the incomparable Susan Hart in various states of...well, being Susan Hart. (Just for the record, she looks better in a red nightie than anybody else, ever.)

 

 

Hollywood icon Dorothy Lamour gets to sing one of the film's many awful songs, while Don Rickles and a certain young teen idol we all know and love appear in cameos as Martians.

Oddly, the returning stars play completely different characters than before. Annette is no longer "Dee Dee" but is now "Connie", and Jody McCrea, previously known as "Deadhead", is now Connie's beefcake boyfriend, "Big Lunk", who is so obsessed with volleyball that he drives Connie into the arms of neophyte Earth visitor Tommy Kirk.

It's difficult for mere words to convey just how...well, stupid all of this is. It's actually quite a staggering achievement in stupid, one which I found impressive even as I winced and cringed my way through it. Granted, I love this kind of stuff. But to watch PAJAMA PARTY is to gorge one's self on pure, concentrated stupid the way you might eat an entire gooey cheesecake with a spoon in one sitting. 

PAJAMA PARTY (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

MUSCLE BEACH PARTY (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 5/19/21

 

Currently re-watching: MUSCLE BEACH PARTY (1964), the predictably meat-headed sequel to 1963's raucous romp BEACH PARTY. As the title suggests, it's the same frothy free-for-all only this time with muscles.

The muscles are supplied by a group of strongmen led by Jack Fanny (Don Rickles in a spoof of gym maven Vic Tanny), whose star beefcake, Flex Martian, is played by "Mission: Impossible" and "Police Squad!" regular Peter Lupus under the name "Rock Stevens."

Spoiled rich girl Julie (Italian beauty Luciana Paluzzi, later to play evil Fiona Volpe in the James Bond epic THUNDERBALL) spots Flex from her nearby yacht, is impulsively smitten, and orders her obsequious business manager S.Z. (Buddy Hackett) to purchase the entire strongman squad from Jack Fanny. Deals are made, contracts are signed, and then...

 

...fickle Julie falls in love with Frankie, breaking Flex's heart and igniting the usual jealous tiff between Frankie and girlfriend Annette that will have them at odds for the rest of the movie.

All of this is set against the same milieu as the previous film, with a bunch of vacationing teens living in ramshackle beach houses and springing into action with every fervent cry of "Surf's up!"

Returning are John Ashley as handsome smoothie Johnny, Jody McCrea as the brain-dead Deadhead, Candy Johnson as dancing dervish Candy, and various other somewhat familiar faces amongst the bikini-clad beach bums. 

 

Cute blonde Valora Noland's character name has been changed here from "Rhonda" to "Animal" (she would later pop up in John Wayne's THE WAR WAGON and the "Patterns of Force" episode of "Star Trek"). Also on hand once again are guitar-twanging Dick Dale and his Del-Tones, and Morey Amsterdam as kooky club owner, Cappy.

Chipper pop singer Donna Loren makes her debut in the series along with burgeoning superstar Little Stevie Wonder singing "Happy Street." (He'll share the marathon closing credits with Candy.) Future "Grizzly Adams" star Dan Haggerty, sans beard and long hair, is unrecognizable as one of the strongmen, Biff.

Conspicuous by their absence this time are Harvey Lembeck's Eric Von Zipper and his cycle stupids, although one female member, Alberta Nelson, returns as part of the Jack Fanny camp. 

Annette's hair-trigger jealousy and constant pressure on free-spirited Frankie to settle down and get married are just as tiresome as ever.

Still, the bickering lovebirds each get to croon a few pleasantly sappy love songs, with Frankie also delivering a real ear-bending banger in Cappy's club that gets the joint rocking.

Dick Dale proves that he and the Del-Tones are much better suited to cool surf-rock instrumentals when their attempts at lyrics about the surfing life evoke deep, rumbling groans. 

 

There's no fast-paced, colorful chase sequence this time, but the cartoony action of a no-holds-barred brawl between surfers and strongmen in Cappy's club sorta makes up for it.

This is topped off by an appearance by none other than the great Peter Lorre, who, along with Vincent Price (BEACH PARTY) and Boris Karloff (BIKINI BEACH), was currently under contract with American-International.

Semi-serious scenes (the gang rejects Frankie when he announces he's hooking up with sugar-mama Julie) clash with the unabashedly cartoony and often surreal  nonsense that makes up the bulk of the film, all leavened with heaps of bad rock and roll (some co-written by Brian Wilson) and numerous old school comics adding their seasoned silliness to the usual youthful antics to make MUSCLE BEACH PARTY a dizzyingly dumb distraction for the easily amused.

 

(Note: this is the one that my big brother and his friends were going to see at the theater and I wanted to go but he wouldn't take me with him, so I started crying and Mom made him take me. It was the classic case where Mrs. Cleaver made Wally and Eddie take Beaver to the movies with them. So I got to see "Muscle Beach Party" at the theater when it came out and had a wonderful time!)

MUSCLE BEACH PARTY (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle