OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/15/14

 

As all movie fans know, there's nothing more kickass than a collection of movie trailers!  Unless, of course, it's a collection of trailers for rom-coms or Merchant Ivory films.  Those don't get described as "kickass" very often.  But you know what does?  Ozploitation flicks!!!  So you know what would be a really kickass trailer collection?  OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION!!!

This 2014 DVD from Intervision doesnt literally explode, of course, but there may be times when you'll think it is, or that your brain itself is exploding from the overload of pure, unadulterated exploitational trash-cinema goodness that you're subjecting it to. 

It's a delirium-inducing cornucopia of drive-in fodder that offers ample evidence that the Australian film industry was a beehive of activity back in the glorious 70s and 80s, with directors such as the great Simon Wincer ("Lonesome Dove", "Quigley Down Under"), actor and Rick Wakeman album narrator David Hemmings, the prolific Colin Eggleston, and even Peter Weir and Bruce Beresford manning the director's chair.  (If the production could afford a director's chair, that is.)

The three things that best transcend a low budget are sex, horror, and action, so these trailers fit snugly within those categories.  "Sexploitation and 'Ocker' Comedies" ("ocker" meaning "consisting of broad and uncultured Aussie stereotypes") gets the ball rolling with a string of low-class and often painfully corny flicks that are as twangy and hick-ified as "Hee Haw."

Barry Crocker and Barry Humphries give us the rowdy musical "The Adventures of Barry McKenzie" (with a young Peter Cook) and its sequel, "Barry McKenzie Holds His Own", guest-starring none other than Donald Pleasence as Count Plasma the vampire.  Graeme Blundell, who went on to play Padme's father in deleted scenes from "Attack of the Clones", stars in a couple of "Alvin Purple" romps about the sexploits of a nerdy-looking chick magnet who is given this valuable business advice: "There are openings everywhere for the right man!"

"Plugg" offers the gorgeous Cheryl Rixon along with some really bad cop hijinks, while Susannah York and Trevor Howard find themselves ensconced in a dreary-looking period costume farce called "Eliza Fraser."  The trailers for "Fantasm" and "Fantasm Comes Again" feature a too-close-for-comfort view of John Holmes' trouser snake while giving us teasing glimpses of favorite 70s porn stars Candy Samples (as "Mary Gavin"), Uschi Digard, Roxanne Brewer,  Rene Bond, and Rainbow Smith. 

In addition to the slapdash and gleefully vulgar comedies are nudge-nudge wink-wink mockumentaries such as "The Love Epidemic", which exhorts viewers to have sex while warning them of V.D., and "The ABC of Love and Sex Australia Style", which we examined in detail here.  All serve as naughty looks at what was considered shocking in "Strine" society in those days and, like the comedies, are brimming with a multitude of boobies and great gobs of softcore sex. 

The ubiquitious Jack Thompson ("Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence") plays the no-nonsense, ultra-manly "Petersen", who takes no guff and tells people to "get stuffed."  Arthur Dignam of "Dead Kids" (aka "Strange Behavior") co-stars, but it's the welcome sight of a topless young Wendy Hughes who makes this trailer interesting.  Thompson turns up again (and again) in "Libido", which offers the usual sexual situations with a lurid and melodramatic leer. 

Much of this material seems to be the same kind of stuff that turned up as late-night filler on the Playboy Channel in the 80s.  Like most of OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION, I'm not sure I'd care to actually sit through some of these films yet their trailers provide non-stop entertainment in handy capsule form.

Moving on to "Horror and Thriller",  we get another staple of Aussie cinema that was either well-done or utterly gosh-awful in seemingly equal measures.  Roo-doo potboilers such as "Outback" and "Night of Fear" appear to represent the latter, while something called "Inn of the Damned" ("in the tradition of Hitchcock!") manages to boast none other than Dame Judith Anderson in what is known as "slumming" with a capital "S." 

Returning to sex-comedy territory is "The Night The Prowler", about a woman named Felicity who turns the tables on her nocturnal rapist and becomes a sex-starved prowler herself. "End Play" mixes two brothers, a secluded country house, and a pretty young hitchhiker to give us something that is, the announcer warns, "terribly, terribly wrong."

Reprenting the best of low-budget Australian horror cinema are the trailers for some familiar faves.  "Patrick" tells of a comatose man who may be causing chaos on a subconscious telekinetic level.  "Thirst" is a story of modern-day vampires, while "Dead Kids" is the richly compelling horror thriller by filmmaker Michael Laughlin which stars Michael Murphy, Louise Fletcher,  Fiona Lewis, Dan Shor,  Marc McClure, and Arthur Dignam. 

Peter Weir's "The Last Wave" stars Richard Chamberlain in a nightmare of supernatural evil.  Sigrid Thornton looks great topless in "Snapshot" while being menaced by Vincent Gill and propositioned by "Thirst" star Chantal Contouri.  "Nightmares" is as lurid a horror-slasher flick as they come.  A personal favorite of mine, "Roadgames" (1981), stars Stacy Keach and Jamie Lee Curtis as a truck driver and a hitchhiker on the trail of a highway serial killer. 

Of the three categories featured here, perhaps "Cars and Action" is the one the Australians do best.  Ever since "Mad Max" roared through American drive-ins and cable TVs there's been a string of imitations and outright clones of it and its superior follow-up, "The Road Warrior", which really set the standard for white-line mayhem. 

The same cast members keeping turning up too--not the least of which is probably the busiest man in Oz cinema, Bruce "Gyro Captain" Spence, who seems to be in damn near everything in this collection.  "Mad Max"'s ever-popular "Goose",  Steve Bisley,  heads sci-fi action-thriller "The Chain Reaction", which has its own incredible car chases, crashes, and stunts. 

More automotive vehicles are destroyed and stunt drivers endangered in the hair-raising "Stunt Rock", "Stone" (the guy flying off a cliff on a motorcycle is a stunner), "Fair Game" (another beleaguered woman turns the tables on her antagonists), and the mind-boggling "Midnight Spares" with, you guessed it, Bruce Spence. 

Judging by their trailers, these films are jam-packed with the kind of stuff that makes Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" look like a fender-bender.  I can only guess at how wide-open the stuntman trade must've been in Australia during that era.  Some of them seem to be risking life and limb with utter abandon. 

Elsewhere, Alan Arkin does a funny turn as a washed-up superhero in "The Return of Captain Invincible."  "Terminator" rip-off "The Time Guardian" stars Dean Stockwell and Carrie Fisher.  Jimmy Wang Yu goes up against erstwhile 007 George Lazenby in "The Man From Hong Kong." 

There are would-be spaghetti westerns such as "Raw Deal" and Dennis Hopper (in a series of horrible fake beards) as "Mad Dog Morgan."  Aerial thriller "Race for the Yankee Zephyr", with Ken Wahl, George Peppard, Lesley Ann Warren, and Donald Pleasence, is directed by David Hemmings ("Thirst") and features some of the most exhilarating helicopter photography I've ever seen. 

"Attack Force Z" is a mercenary shoot-em-up with Mel Gibson, Sam Neill, Olivia Hussey, and John Phillip Law.  Getting short shrift here is Nicole Kidman's teenage debut,  "BMX Bandits", whose brief trailer seems more like a TV spot.  Peter Weir's "The Cars that Ate Paris" (1974) is just as nutty and stunt-packed as it sounds, and yes, Bruce Spence is in it.

Among the other luminaries popping up here and there in this collection are Broderick Crawford, Judy Davis, Robert Powell, Jenny Agutter, Tom Skerritt,  and James Mason, along with frequent Ocker faves such as Frank Thring and Briony Behets. 

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital mono sound.  No subtitles or extras.  The picture quality is about what you'd expect from a bunch of forty-year-old trailers (give or take a decade).  Running time is 165 minutes.  Many more trailers besides those mentioned here are included (65 in all).

If you're not in the mood for a sit-down meal but fancy a snack tray of sex, horror, and violence goodies, then Mama always said you should try OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION.  Because even though you never know what you're gonna get, you can be sure it'll be chock full of fine Strine cui-sine.

OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION -- DVD Review by Porfle

"KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN" Main Titles (video)

 

Here's a fun "what if" I concocted based on a concept by "King Kong" (1933) chief animator Willis O'Brien.  

His proposed sequel, for which he made some fascinating preliminary sketches (like the one in the very last shot of this video)...

...involved the giant ape going into battle against an oversized Frankenstein Monster.

 

I neither own nor claim any rights to any of this material, nor am I profiting from it.  Just having a little Monster Kid fun with it!

 

"KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN" Main Titles (video)

"The Matrix": Trinity's Escape Set to Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes" (video)

Somehow this music just seems to go with this scene.

For us, anyway. In a weird way.

If you like this, please check out the entire movie, "The Matrix"...

...as well as other music by Janet Jackson.


I don't own or claim any rights to any of these materials--just having a little fun with them. Thanks for watching!

"The Matrix": Trinity's Escape Set to Janet Jackson's "That's the Way Love Goes" (video)

BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS -- DVD Reviews by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/30/10

 

 

As great as Universal Studios' classic "Frankenstein" movies of the 30s and 40s are, there was always one key ingredient curiously missing from all of them--beautiful naked babes having sex. Whether this was merely an oversight or, for some inexplicable reason, directors such as James Whale and Rowland V. Lee intentionally omitted this vital element, legendary "B" moviemaker Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia Entertainment has finally corrected this problem with the release of BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN (2009).

And rest assured, there's a veritable buttload of steamy softcore, simulated sex scenes in this film, with the story serving as a sort of connective tissue between them. It's kind of a shame, in fact, that we don't get to see more of that story since it's really fun and the actors all give exceptional comic performances. Unlike some preening 70s porno stud like Randy West donning a pair of glasses and trying to be "funny", Frankie Cullen is genuinely, cartoonishly amusing as Dr. Victor Frankenstein, a nebbishy scientist who gets booted (yes, "booted") out of his university teaching job for banging a buxom cheerleader on his desk.

Tony Marino is also funny as Victor's rival, Clive, who gleefully reports the Doc's carnal activities to Professor Van Sloane (actor-filmmaker Ted Newsom in fine comic form). As it happens, both Cullen and Marino happen to be a couple of pretty buffed-out hunks, which should keep the straight chicks and gay dudes in the audience occupied while the heterosexual males get an eyefull of the gorgeous female-type characters. These include voluptuous blonde knockout Brandin Rackley as Dr. Frankenstein's ditzy lab assistant Ingrid, exotic Christine Nguyen as Clive's sexy wife Claudia, and the delightfully winsome Alexis Texas as the aforementioned cheerleader, Debbie.

Retreating to his castle in Transylvania, Victor vows to prove his theories to his skeptical colleagues by bringing life to the dead, which in this case is the tall, lissom Jayden Cole as "Eve." She doesn't actually wear a bikini--more like two strips of gauze--but that doesn't matter since she gets naked pretty quick anyway. A carnal encounter with Ingrid reveals Eve's tendency to crackle with electricity whenever they connect the minus to the minus, so to speak.

Later, Victor returns to the States along with Eve and Ingrid, where, at a cocktail party attended by Clive, Claudia, Professor Van Sloane, and Dr. Waldman (Ron Ford with an enormous fake moustache), he plans to reveal Eve as his triumphant creation after she's sufficiently impressed everyone. Eve does this by having sex with Clive and then engaging in a three-way with Ingrid and Claudia (Claudia also finds time to get it on with Victor as well) which ultimately comes to an unfortunate and, to me, rather abrupt conclusion.

Nicholas Medina's direction is quite good and Sherman Scott's screenplay is stocked with fun references to the classic Frankenstein films. Aside from all the obvious name-dropping, the opening scene has Victor illustrating a scientific procedure that seems inspired by a certain Dr. Neimann from HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (dog included) and Ingrid is obviously inspired by Teri Garr's character in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, albeit with even more impressive "knockers." One of the film's best features is its cinematography, which looks just plain great, and the musical score is also easy on the ears.

Personally, I find long, drawn-out sex scenes to be pretty boring after the first minute or so, but the ones in this film benefit from truly great-looking performers and skillful execution. Add to this a nutty cast, lighthearted script, and pleasing production values, and BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, while lacking a satisfactory ending, is a creation that's more than the sum of its parts.

TWILIGHT VAMPS (2009), on the other hand, isn't quite as enjoyable comedy-wise but maintains the same high standards in regard to the sex scenes while boasting pretty much the same cast. This time Frankie Cullen and Tony Marino play Jack and Roger, a couple of office drones who decide to unwind at a flashy new strip club called Shadows, which just happens to be a front for a bunch of beautiful vampires who drain male customers of their money, sexual energies, and blood.

Having just been dumped by his girlfriend Louise after discovering that she was a dyke interested only in banging her girlfriends and emptying his bank account, Jack falls for sexy blonde dancer Tabitha (Brandin Rackley) while Roger is smitten with Angela (Christine Nguyen). Before long, however, Jack discovers the blood-splattered truth and is forced to become an amateur vampire hunter armed only with a bottle of holy water that's gone past its expiration date.

With the same above-average production values, cinematography, and performances as BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, TWILIGHT VAMPS is breezy low-budget entertainment that's pleasing to the eye. In addition to the usual plethora of simulated sex scenes which are equally well-done, the strip club setting affords lucky viewers the opportunity to watch the leading ladies show off their considerable poledancing skills. Ultra-fabulous babe Brandin Rackley, who has instantly leapt into the top five of my favorite actresses of this week, is especially awesome in this department (although the exquisite Christine Nguyen offers her close competition in terms of hotness). The opposite of her goofy "Ingrid" character from BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, Brandin's "Tabitha" is sublimely gorgeous and seductive. In fact, she should be receiving my marriage proposal in the mail any day now, and my fingers are crossed that she'll check the "yes" box. Wish me luck!

Ron Ford returns as Jack's unappreciative boss, Mr. Cartwright, this time sporting an outlandishly fake beard, while Ted Newsom shows up again as a terse, suspicious police detective who questions Jack in regard to one of the vampire murders. In addition to giving his usual solid performance, Ted gets to reprise one of the most celebrated quotes from Ed Wood's classic PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and delivers the line with much relish. (Or whatever the craft services people were serving that day.)

Once again, Nicholas Medina handles the directing chores while also contributing the screenplay, which, according to the opening titles, is "based on the poem by Edgar Allen Poe." What poem by Edgar Allen Poe? I don't remember him writing anything called "Twilight Vamps." Maybe it's one of his lesser-known works. The associate producer is identified as one "Thorn Sherman", although it's unclear whether or not this is the same Thorn Sherman portrayed by actor James Best in THE KILLER SHREWS. If so, my hat's off to the guy for defeating those horrible monsters and scoring Miss Universe 1957 in the bargain.

Infinity Entertainment Group's DVDs of TWILIGHT VAMPS and BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN are presented in 16 x 9 widescreen and 2.0 Dolby Stereo. Special features include original trailers.

TWILIGHT VAMPS is filled with visual delights and, while not quite as much giddy fun, makes a fitting companion piece to BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN. Both films are worth checking out for the sex scenes alone, with the added benefit of talented actors and production values that are clearly superior to the usual low-budget fare. So the next time the guys are over at your place for the usual Saturday night drunken wing-ding, leave GIRLS GONE WILD on the shelf and pop one of these babies into the DVD player, and go nuts.

BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS -- DVD Reviews by Porfle

GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 9/5/2014

 

The most recent movie trailer compilations I've seen have been theme-oriented--namely, the self-explanatory OZPLOITATION TRAILER EXPLOSION and VIDEO NASTIES: A DEFINITIVE GUIDE--which is as good a way to watch a bunch of trailers as any.

But as demonstrated by Intervision's new DVD release, GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS, you don't really need any kind of an excuse at all to watch a bunch of trailers, just as long as they're shamelessly exploiting the most down-and-dirty sex, violence, horror, and gore flicks that ever snaked their way through a hot projector.

If you can make it past the startling cover pic of a severed female zombie head with blank, demonic eyes chowing down on a dismembered hand--or are, in fact, lured in by it--you know this is your kind of entertainment. What you're in for during the next 129 minutes is fifty-five stomach-churning, mind-warping trailers for the kind of titanic trash that kept grindhouses and drive-ins in business back in the 60s and 70s.

Here, you get all the good scenes smashed together (it seems like every trailer was a "red band" trailer in those days) and liberally garnished with some of the most purple prose ever to gush from the mouth of an overheated voiceover guy. In fact, you're in for a letdown if you actually see some of these flicks after checking out the trailers.

After the classic "Prevues of Coming Attractions" bumper to get our nostalgic juices flowing comes the first selection, the infamous double bill of I DRINK YOUR BLOOD/ I EAT YOUR SKIN. Another double feature, BLOOD SPATTERED BRIDE and I DISMEMBER MAMA, is heralded by faux news footage of police dragging a man out of the theater after the films have driven him berserk.

Next comes Tarantino favorite SWITCHBLADE SISTERS followed by Barbara Steele in the women-in-prison classic CAGED HEAT. (Paul Frees fans will recognize his dulcet tones in the voiceovers.) The lurid EYEBALL ("You may not live to see the end of it!") is followed by the even more twisted Ed Gein-inspired DERANGED with Roberts Blossom.

More kill-crazy caged women and soapy shower scenes follow in THE BIG DOLL HOUSE with beauties Pam Grier and Roberta Collins and the less-than-beauteous Sid Haig. Then comes statuesque blonde Dixie Peabody on "a roaring rampage of revenge" in the biker classic BURY ME AN ANGEL, which my older sister took me to see at the drive-in when I was a kid. (Thanks, sis!)

LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, which I really don't like, gives way to another Tarantino fave, THE STREET FIGHTER with Sonny Chiba, and the grandmammy of all Nazisploitation flicks, ILSA: SHE WOLF OF THE S.S. starring the gorgeous Dyanne Thorne (who will later turn up in ILSA: HAREM KEEPER OF THE OIL SHIEKS with Ushi Digard and Joyce Mandell).

Also on the maniacal menu: Bernie Casey as DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE, DON'T OPEN THE WINDOW, rappin' Rudy Ray Moore as THE HUMAN TORNADO ("I got a dong as big as King Kong!"), the skin and sadism of CAGED VIRGINS, "angels of vengeance on a massacre marathon" EBONY, IVORY, AND JADE, and the mind-boggling boobs of Chesty Morgan in the Doris Wishman sleaze-tacular DEADLY WEAPONS.

And that's not even the first hour. More titles include TORSO, THEY CALL HER ONE-EYE, DEATH SHIP with George Kennedy, Richard Crenna, and Kate Reid, MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE, HOUSE OF WHIPCORD, THE THING WITH TWO HEADS with Rosey Grier and Ray Milland ("A white bigot's head on a black soul brother's body!"), and David Cronenberg's early horror shocker THEY CAME FROM WITHIN (aka "Shivers").

There's a lot more, but you get the idea. The DVD from Intervision is in anamorphc widescreen with Dolby Digital sound and English subtitles. A gallery of grindhouse poster art is accompanied by the gorgeous Emily Booth hosting a featurette entitled "Bump 'N' Grind."

But it's those gloriously sleazy, lurid, and credulity-straining GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS that make this a must-see for anyone who enjoys a good wallow in cinema's most celebrated sewage.

GRINDHOUSE TRAILER CLASSICS -- DVD Review by Porfle