GHOSTS OF GOLDFIELD -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/10/09

I didn't like the film version of THE SHINING, so any horror movie about ghosts in a big old hotel is going to have to outdo Kubrick in order to win me over. (Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration.) And like the little engine that could, GHOSTS OF GOLDFIELD (2009) huffs and puffs its little heart out trying to do just that. But despite the best efforts of all involved, it never really builds up much steam.

Julie (Marnette Patterson of "Charmed") is a psych major who's doing a thesis on ghosts, so she rounds up some college friends to help her shoot a film inside the haunted Goldfield Hotel, situated in a ghost town in the middle of the Nevada desert. The main reason the place is haunted is because long ago, the rich bastard who built it tortured his mistress Elizabeth (Ashly Rae) to death in one of the rooms after finding out she was cheating on him with the hotel's bartender. He also tossed the couple's illegitimate baby down a mine shaft (what a sweet guy!), so now Elizabeth's ghost roams the corridors wailing "Where's my baby?" (And no, dingos are not involved.)

There's some other stuff mentioned about the hotel being a portal between the worlds of the living and the dead, but nothing much ever comes of this. And the fact that Elizabeth (who resembles Juliette Lewis after a bad weekend) seems to be the only ghost in the whole place for much of the movie really cuts down on the haunt factor. First-time director Ed Winfield displays little skill at building suspense or putting together effective scare sequences, while the cast seem unable to convincingly convey extreme emotions when necessary. Even their casual banter often seems awkwardly improvised, though much of the blame for this is probably due to the writers not giving them much to work with.

Besides Julie, there's her straitlaced boyfriend Dean (Scott Whyte), nice-guy cameraman Chad (TWILIGHT's Kellan Lutz), obligatory jackass Mike (Richie Chance), who stays drunk most of the time and likes to jump out and scare people, and Keri (Mandy Amano), the whiner who's constantly griping about being hungry or tired when she isn't swiping stuff from the hotel to sell on eBay. You know your cast isn't too impressive when the best performance comes from "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who plays Elizabeth's secret lover Jackson Smith (in flashback) with something resembling two strips of beef jerky glued to his jowls to represent old-timey sideburns.

As expected, members of the group begin to wander off by themselves down dark, spooky corridors as soon as they enter the hotel. Director Winfield relies heavily on shots of mysterious figures flitting past the camera, clutching hands, and other familiar stuff to keep us on edge. The ghostly image of Elizabeth wandering around with her blazing red eyes, flowing white gown, and crazed expression are somewhat effective at times. Late in the story we begin to get a few gory kill scenes, but nothing very elaborate. Also as expected, nobody is able to get a signal on their cell phones! It's inevitable nowadays that horror movies must deal with this issue, and lately it seems more and more as though scriptwriters are simply saying "Screw it--the cell phones don't work."

The DVD is in 16x9 widescreen with 2.0 stereo sound. Direction and photography are average at best, and at times not very good. I viewed a screener with the movie only, but the release version promises a director's commentary, stills gallery, and trailers.

During the story, Julie begins to have visions of herself in the hotel during a past life, and her possible connection with Elizabeth's tragic demise leads to a downbeat and somewhat surprising finale that sends the movie off on a high note. GHOSTS OF GOLDFIELD is an okay time-waster if you're not in a very demanding mood; otherwise, chances are you'll find it more tame and tedious than scary.

GHOSTS OF GOLDFIELD -- DVD Review by Porfle

GHOST CAT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/30/09

This 2003 Canadian made-for-TV film was originally known as "Mrs. Ashboro's Cat" and has appeared as an Animal Planet original movie. Now, North American Motion Pictures is giving it a Sept. 22 DVD release as the somewhat more intriguingly-titled GHOST CAT, with special emphasis in the ads on Oscar-nominated Ellen Page (HARD CANDY, JUNO, X3) in an early starring role.

At first I thought this was going to be a zany combination of THAT DARN CAT and CASPER, but it's actually a pretty serious movie. Michael Ontkean ("Twin Peaks", "The Rookies") plays Wes Merritt, a recently-widowed writer moving to his deceased wife's New England hometown with his young daughter Natalie (Page). While house-hunting they meet a nice elderly woman named Mrs. Ashboro (Shirley Knight) whose weaselly banker nephew Boyd (Tom Barnett) is trying to get her to sell her house so he can replace the money he's been embezzeling before the bank examiners find out.

Mrs. Ashboro withdraws her savings from the bank with the intention of helping her friend Brenda (Lori Hallier, MY BLOODY VALENTINE, MONTE WALSH) who's being pressured to sell her animal shelter to a crooked land developer named Riker (Nigel Bennett). But soon after stashing the money in her house, Mrs. Ashboro dies suddenly and her loyal cat Margaret expires soon after out of grief. Wes and Natalie move into Mrs. Ashboro's now-vacated house and soon become involved in Brenda's struggle to keep her animal shelter as the increasingly ruthless Boyd and Riker join forces against her. Meanwhile, the good guys discover they have an unexpected ally--the ghost of Mrs. Ashboro's cat, Margaret.

Low-key and thoughtful, GHOST CAT has a subtle charm and warmth that sets it apart from the Disney Channel-type film you might expect. The characters, for the most part, behave in a realistic manner. This is especially true of Wes and Natalie, who still display a wistful melancholy after having lost wife and mother respectively, and Brenda, whose lifelong dream of operating her animal shelter is being wrested away from her. Tom Barnett's "Boyd" comes closest to stepping over the line as the stereotypical villain, but even he has an air of clumsy desperation not unlike that of William H. Macy's "Jerry Lundergaard" in FARGO, which keeps him believable.

I liked Lori Hallier as the "hardware widow" in 2003's MONTE WALSH and her down-to-earth performance here is very good. Ontkean does a nice job as the understanding single dad (who you just know is going to get romantic with Brenda sooner or later), and Ellen Page manages to portray a teenage girl without being flighty or precious or insufferable, which is no small feat. Of course, Shirley Knight is wonderful as Mrs. Ashboro and it's a shame her character disappears so soon. The rest of the cast is up to par, particularly Shawn Roberts as Natalie's budding love interest Kurt, whose troubled past makes him a suspect in some of the vandalism that takes place at the animal shelter.

I can't recall any scenes that are supposed to be out and out funny--in fact, the funniest thing about GHOST CAT is that it could've gotten along as a fairly serious drama without having a ghost cat in it at all. Not that I'd want that, since I'm a cat lover and Margaret is a very sweet and likable character. But she isn't really necessary to the plot at all and exists mainly to either lighten things up or to give the filmmakers an excuse to include some mildly spooky stuff like a seance, or a scene where Natalie is awakened in the middle of the night to find the piano playing itself.

In addition to that, Margaret's other functions are to wake people up when the barn's on fire or to lead them to the hidden stash of money, or to attack the bad guys when they're escaping in their car. And with all of that stuff going on, the last third of the movie manages to build a fair amount of suspense.

Direction by "Road to Avonlea" vet Don McBrearty is good; cinematography has that "Canadian made-for-TV" look. The DVD is 16 x 9 widescreen with 2.0 stereo audio. I watched a screener with no bonus features, but the official disc should include a stills gallery and closed captioning.

GHOST CAT is a fine choice for family viewing since the story is interesting, suspenseful, and heartfelt enough for adults, and since it has a ghost cat in it for the kids. Although they're liable to be disappointed that the movie isn't as kooky or as spooky as they might expect a movie called GHOST CAT to be.

GHOST CAT -- DVD Review by Porfle

SUFFERING OF NINKO -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/26/18

 

For those with a taste for the unusual, SUFFERING OF NINKO (2016) should prove a delectable, perhaps even sumptous treat. While hardly the nuttiest Asian supernatural film set in ancient Japan that I've ever seen, it easily ranks as one of my more keenly unusual movie-watching experiences.

The establishing shots alone let us know that we're in for a beautifully rendered film by first time feature director (and writer and producer and editor) Norihiro Niwatsukino, whose credits on the project mark it as an intensely personal vision.

Set in Japan's Edo period (around the 16th century or so), the story begins in a monastery where young monk Ninko (Masato Tsujioka) is the most ardent and hardworking of all his peers. But for all his virtue and spiritual purity, he suffers from a terrible burden--he is incredibly, insanely irresistible to every woman he comes into contact with.

At first this is depicted with subtle hints of lighthearted comedy despite the film's solemn tone, with Ninko's excursions into a nearby village with his brothers to beg for alms descending into chaos as all the women in the area converge upon the group to grab, grope, drool over, and attempt to seduce the hapless Ninko with every feminine trick in their book and a few that are clearly made up on the spot.

Ninko's ordeal is deftly portrayed by showing us how his zen meditation sessions first serve as a source of peace and spiritual comfort but gradually evolve into furious psycho-sexual fever dreams that have him writhing in sexual agony before finally driving him out of his mind.

This sequence is the most surreal of the film and is enhanced by Edo-inspired drawings and animations (which recur throughout the film to add to its old Japanese storytelling style) and an unusual rendition of Ravel's "Bolero" played with traditional Japanese instruments.

Here we also get one of the first hints that Ninko is being haunted and perhaps stalked by a powerful supernatural female entity with long black hair, whom we see dancing seductively behind a bland-expression mask.

After recovering his senses, Ninko is ordered to set off on a journey of self-discovery to confront his problems and deal with them head on.  The narrative really gets going when he meets a mercenary ronin named Kanzo (Hideta Iwahashi) and the two of them are hired by local villagers to hunt down an evil sorceress, Yama-onna (Miho Wakabayashi), who seduces men with her irresistible sexuality and drains them of their lifeforce, leaving only lifeless, mummified husks.

We've seen hints of Yama-onna appearing teasingly to Ninko throughout the film, as though she senses his own sexual power and sees it, and him, as a challenge.  Ninko, meanwhile, suffers even more when it occurs to him that he may in fact be some kind of inhuman sexual creature himself.

Kanzo, the roguish swordsman, looks upon all this as an amusing (he likes Ninko) and profitable challenge to his skills.  Writer and director Norihiro Niwatsukino brings them all together for a surprising and, in some ways, exhilarating climax (in more ways than one) in which the film's narrative subtleties and eye-filling supernatural wonders intertwine. 

Old-fashioned storytelling blends with modern sex and violence to create a unique viewing experience in SUFFERING OF NINKO.  Those indulging in this enticing buffet of ancient Japanese delights will be well served.

TECH SPECS
Running Time: 70 mins.
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Audio: Stereo
Language: Japanese w/English Subtitles
Street Date: August 14, 2018
DVD SRP: $19.95

SUFFERING OF NINKO -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE VICTIM -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/29/08

 

Remember that "really scared" feeling you used to get when you watched horror movies as a kid, but hardly ever experience now that you're a grownup and movies don't affect you that way anymore? Well, I'm feeling it again right now after watching the 2006 Thai terror film THE VICTIM from Tartan Asia Extreme. Jeepers, this sucker is flat-out scary.

The story begins with an aspiring young actress named Ting (Pitchanart Sakakorn) who gets a gig playing the murder victims in police reenactments. She's so enthusiastic and convincing at this that she actually starts to develop a fan base. Fearing that she may anger the souls of the victims she portrays, she offers prayers each time to assure them that her intentions are good--while, unseen by her, their spirits surround her. When a popular beauty queen named Meen disappears and evidence points to a brutal murder, Ting becomes so wrapped up in accurately portraying her that she begins to receive supernatural help which leads her to the killer, endangering her own life in the process.

Pitchanart Sakakorn is cute as a button and her character is a lot of fun. Her story, while containing some scary elements, is also a tantalizing mystery that comes to a suspenseful conclusion about halfway through the movie. And then, suddenly, something deviously unexpected happens that pulls the rug out from under the viewer and transforms THE VICTIM into a whole different movie altogether. And this one is a lot darker, stranger, and scarier than before.

Now, the emphasis is on a film crew shooting a movie about Meen's death and Ting's involvement in the aftermath. Strange things start to happen on the set, and spectral images show up on the film during editing. Worse, the actors and crew begin to experience terrifying ghostly encounters and die off one by one. May, the actress portraying Ting in the film, shows indications of being possessed by Meen's vengeful spirit. And things just get worse from there.

Director Monthon Arayangkoon displays great skill at building a tense, tautly-drawn aura of dread and luring the viewer into one blood-chilling "gotcha!" scene after another. Usually I get numb to these after awhile, but here, almost every one of them had me jumping as though I were being poked with a cattle prod. Whenever a character turns around, chances are something awful's going to be standing there. When the camera moves slightly off center during a closeup and reveals empty space behind the actor, we just know something horrible's going to pop up. And knowing it doesn't help.

There are some really good makeup effects here, and the staging of the scare scenes is excellent. A few of them are flawed by obvious CGI, though--by now we all know what it looks like, and it can really kill the mood when it's too cartoonish-looking. But many of the images, especially one of a ghoulish, decayed Likae dancer jerkily lurching toward us, are utterly nightmarish.

The DVD image is 1:66:1 with 5.1 Dolby Digital, featuring a Thai soundtrack with optional subtitles. Both music and sound design are memorably creepy.

In addition to a trailer and TV spots, there's a 22-minute "The Making of 'The Victim'" which is scarier than the film itself. We learn that the murder scenes Ting reenacts were not only based on real events, but shot on the actual locations as well. The actors were kept in the dark about this particular factoid, though, so as not to distract them, and were understandably freaked out when this was finally revealed to them. Worse, we're shown several pieces of footage(which were used in the movie itself) that appear to have authentic ghostly images on them. It's like one of those Fox TV specials--you don't know if it's true, or if they're just pulling our chains--but it's told in a straightforward manner, with corroborating testimony from cast and crew, and is just plain disturbing.

You may be more desensitized to stuff like this if you've seen a lot of scarier Asian horror films, but it's been a couple of hours since I watched THE VICTIM and I'm still feeling uncomfortably nervous and spooked-out. At this rate, I'm gonna have to pop a Walt Disney antidote into the DVD player and happy myself up before I go to bed.

THE VICTIM -- DVD Review by Porfle

UGLY SWEATER PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/25/18

 

I don't usually do this, but I'm going to leave it up to IMDb to describe UGLY SWEATER PARTY (2018) to you.

"An ugly sweater party turns into a bloodbath when an evil Christmas sweater possesses one of the partygoers." There, that's it!  I'm outta here!

Okay, not really, but that's a pretty concise summary of this movie for starters.  After that, writer-director Aaron Mento simply piles on as much graphic gore, extreme gross-out humor, and unbridled sacriledge as can be heaped like a ton of bird droppings onto a low-budget 81-minute horror comedy.

Going into more detail: horny but shy Cliff (Charles Chudabala) and his comically (?) crude friend Jody (Hunter Johnson) drive deep into the woods after receiving an email invitation to an "ugly sweater party" from two sisters, Samantha and Susan, whom they previously sorta had sex with at another party. (The first time we see Jody, he's in the john shaving his nads, and that's one of the more tasteful scenes.)

When they get there, however, they discover that they're in a backwoods Bible camp and that the girls, since born again, just got baptized that day. Their parents are total weirdos, especially their horny mom, Mrs. Mandix (Felissa Rose, SLEEPAWAY CAMP, DARK CHAMBER, CAESAR & OTTO'S SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE), and the girls are still pretty flaky, so the guys hang around in hopes of still getting laid.

What they don't know is that the ugly sweater that Cliff stole from a roadside drifter is haunted by the evil spirit of dead serial killer Declan Rains (Sean Whalen, LAID TO REST, ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE, THE FP), and before long the possessed Cliff will be trying to stab, strangle, and chainsaw everyone in sight, including a passel of secondary characters who are so obnoxious that we can't wait for it to happen.

Overall, the film is like a Robin Williams stand-up routine in that it keeps launching oozing gobs of hit-and-miss humor at your face until, if you're like me, you just want to start batting it away with a cricket bat.

Add to that enough splattery mayhem to keep gorehounds in seizures of bliss and the less discerning viewer will stay well occupied until fadeout.

Finally, the sacriledge quotient of this film is off the charts, so if that bugs you (as it does me), you're going to find UGLY SWEATER PARTY about as much fun as dental work without novacaine.  And if  in addition to that, you also despise death metal (really, this flick seems to have it out for me),  then you're going to hate the fact that this movie has a death metal band and it plays a whole lot of, yes, death metal.

But if you and those no-good friends of yours get off on all that vile, repellant stuff, then this is the movie to watch during your next keg party or mutual toenail clipping circle or whatever.

In fact, I can imagine certain people jumping up and down with joy and leaping out of windows due to their extremely positive reaction to the utter, unrestrained crudeness (which, surprisingly, is very nicely shot with several sweeping aerial views and other drone-camera effects) and gleeful offensiveness generated by this cinematic affront.

There's also some nudity (mostly hairy guys), some death-ray carnage from an ousted groundskeeper out for revenge against Mr. and Mrs. Mandix, and some other assorted amusements.

So if you're like me, you're going to enthusiastically refrain from wholeheartedly endorsing UGLY SWEATER PARTY, but if you're not like me, you're just as likely to think it's the most delightful film you've seen all afternoon.  Choose wisely!

UGLY SWEATER PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle

SICK NURSES -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(This review has appeared online in 2007 and again in 2012.)


SICK NURSES (2007) is a mind-boggling horror flick from Thailand that plays around with all those Asian ghost-story cliches and offers some of the most flabbergasting, over-the-top death scenes I've seen in quite a while.  It's a wickedly fun tale of revenge, summed up pretty well by Michael Madsen's "Budd" in KILL BILL:  "That woman deserves her revenge...and we deserve to die."  But Budd got off easy in that movie, because if he'd been in this one, he would've ended up worse off than Paula Schultz.

Dr. Tar (Wichan Jarujinda) is a celebrated young doctor who's engaged to the lovely nurse Tahwaan (Chon Wachananon).  But when she catches him fooling around with another nurse--her own sister, Nook (Chidjan Rujiphun)--she goes ballistic and threatens to expose the dirty secret that he sells bodies on the side.  As the rest of the nurses hold Tahwaan down, one of them stabs her to death.  Exactly seven days later, right before midnight, the ghost of Tahwaan returns to the hospital to wreak bloody vengeance upon Dr. Tar and the other nurses. 

This is one weird, gory, surrealistic movie.  Tahwaan's ghost is jet-black with piercing eyes and long, long black hair, which she uses for all sorts of fun things like cocooning people or hanging them from the ceiling.  And that's just for starters.  She can also turn your arms and hands black and take control of them, causing you do commit grave and usually very ironic injury to yourself.  A bulemic nurse who spends most of her time binging and purging ends up stuffing herself with some extremely unhealthy items until her jaw-dropping demise, while a couple of cute twins who deeply admire one another's beauty are eventually compelled to lay into each other with hacksaws.  As for Nook, who is pregnant with Dr. Tar's child...well, you can imagine her ironic fate.

The setting is what must be the emptiest hospital since HALLOWEEN II--there isn't a patient in sight--and the nurses all seem to have their own private, girly bedrooms and don't ever actually do anything except scamper around in sexy uniforms.  It's more like a big giddy sorority house run by SCTV's Johnny LaRue than a hospital.  This doesn't matter, though, because once the terror begins, logic would just get in the way.

At first it seems as though there's barely any story at all, but little scraps of the narrative fall into place along the way, mostly in flashbacks, to make things interesting between bursts of bloody horror.  And there's an awesome twist ending which, I must admit, I didn't see coming at all.  It doesn't make total sense, but that's one of the endearing things about this movie--it's so freakishly entertaining that it doesn't have to.

The simple premise is similar to dozens of killer-on-the-loose borefests we've sat through over the years, but here, lots of visual style and a truly imaginative sense of the bizarre set it apart.  SICK NURSES benefits from an enthusiastic young cast (composed mainly of lovely young ladies), impressive gore effects with a minimum of bad CGI, and an attitude that's as gleefully sick as those titular nurses.

SICK NURSES -- Movie Review by Porfle

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/19/17
 

 

It's funny how computer-animated cartoons that would've amazed people and won technical awards back in the 80s have become such an everyday thing now.  Still, I sometimes get a kick out of seeing one of these CGI cartoons with the colorful 3D-ish characters and elaborate backgrounds that remind me of moving Viewmaster reels.  And if the story is engaging enough, all the better.

Disney Junior's SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN (Cinedigm) meets those criteria well enough for a TV production, at least for me anyway.  The characters are expressive and likable, the settings eye-pleasing, the songs enjoyable, and the story by children's book author Joe Troiano is sweet, simple, and comfortingly predictable.

It all begins when a square pumpkin is discovered in the pumpkin patch of Holiday Hill Farm.  This causes grave unrest among the more intolerant in the garden, embodied by a George-and-Lenny pair of pumpkins ("Big Tom" and "Litte Tom") joined by a weirdly umbilical-like vine and very vocal against any pumpkin who isn't properly round as they are. 

These bullies and their bigotry against anyone different from themselves form the basis for the story's lesson on acceptance, which, thankfully, doesn't pile-drive us quite as much as one might suspect. 

In fact, most of the characters, including friendly scarecrow Jack (the patch's amiable leader), brother and sister bats Boris and Bella (Boris craves bugs while Bella admonishes him for wanting to devour their sentient friends), spiders Edgar, Allan, and Poe ("With an 'E'!"), and vain beauty-queen pumpkin Bobo, are actually more-or-less pretty decent toward Spookley.

Square peg Spookley remains insecure even when his comical spider friends persuade him to enter Jack's "Jack-A-Lympics" competition to decide the Pick of the Patch (mainly so they can get their hands on the candy corn crown). 

Naturally, his unusual shape dooms his chances in each round, inviting a fair amount of thoughtless ridicule from the others.  It isn't until a raging storm hits the farm and everyone comes frighteningly close to a bad end that the little square pumpkin's shape enables him to rescue everyone.

As I said, it's all comfortingly predictable.  I must confess to not knowing just how kids these days react to this kind of stuff--I would've been entranced by it, and even now find it pleasantly watchable.   

The characters are pretty funny, and the frequent song-and-dance numbers--some with backup by Pointer Sisters-like trio "The Honey-Doos" and even a few musical ghosts--not only entertain with their clever lyrics and bouncy choreography but also come and go without outstaying their welcome. 

The 2-disc Blu-ray/DVD combo from Cinedigm is in standard television format with English, Spanish, and French 2.0 soundtracks and English SDH subtitles.  Extras consist of five (non-HD) video storybooks, each based on a Joe Troiano book and lasting about five minutes: The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin, The Legend of Beacon the Bright Little Firefly, The Legend of JellyBean and the Unbreakable Egg, The Legend of Lyla the Lovesick Ladybug, and The Legend of Mistletoe and the Christmas Kittens. 

The first of these, "The Legend of Spookley the Square Pumpkin", is read by none other than Bobby "Boris" Pickett of "Monster Mash" fame.  Pickett also sings the main feature's "Monster Mash"-like end titles song, "The Transylvania Twist."

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN is ideal small-scale fun for (say it with me) "kids of all ages."  The little ones won't suspect they're being taught a lesson about tolerance even as Spookley's ultimately heartwarming tale leaves them with a Jack o' Lantern smile.

SPOOKLEY THE SQUARE PUMPKIN -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Creepy Scene From "Woman Who Came Back" (1945) (video)

 

"Woman Who Came Back" is a dark, eerie little supernatural tale from 1945.

This scene occurs early in the film and sets the tone for the rest of the story.

It features Nancy Kelly, who went on to play the mother in "The Bad Seed", and Elspeth Dudgeon, who had already creeped us out in James Whale's classic "The Old Dark House." 

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

  

Creepy Scene From "Woman Who Came Back" (1945) (video)

THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/11/21

 

Currently watching: THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966), the last American-International teen flick to bear even the slightest resemblance to the studio's original "Beach Party" series that began in 1963 and lasted until original stars Frankie and Annette had moved on to other things and only a few hardy supporting players and extras still remained.

For the first time, there's no reference whatsoever to the beach or surfing. In a repeat of the earlier PAJAMA PARTY, the action takes place in a large mansion (this time, it's the haunted hideaway of recently-deceased Hiram Stokely, played by a very aged Boris Karloff) and its swimming pool, giving the cast an excuse to cavort in bikinis and swim trunks and flail around to the music of a bland rock 'n' roll band, the Bobby Fuller Four.

Basil Rathbone (SON OF FRANKENSTEIN, "Sherlock Holmes" series) plays Hiram's crooked attorney, Reginald Ripper, who plans to eliminate the old man's heirs after they assemble for the reading of his will. They include beach-movie veterans Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley, along with venerable comic actress Patsy Kelly as "Myrtle Forbush." 

 

Aiding in Ripper's deadly scheme is his cohort J. Sinister Hulk (Jesse "Maytag Repairman" White), along with series regular Bobbi Shaw and Benny Rubin as Princess Yolanda and Chief Chicken Feather. All three characters are holdovers from PAJAMA PARTY, although Rubin replaces an ailing Buster Keaton who originated the role.

Of course, Harvey Lembeck is on hand as motorcycle gang leader Eric Von Zipper, with his usual motley mob of sycophantic cycle stupes. This time, he falls in love with Princess Yolanda, thus giving the writers an excuse to have Von Zipper and crew scurrying around the mansion along with everyone else once the plot, as it is, finally goes into high gear.

When Myrtle's nephew Bobby (Aron Kincaid, whom I think of as "the male Joy Harmon") shows up with a double decker bus full of swinging teens who turn the mansion into party central, the search for Hiram's hidden fortune quickly becomes a frenetic free-for-all as the rightful heirs clash with Ripper's dastardly baddies and a gaggle of spooks and monsters have the freaked-out teens going ape.

 

This will lead to an extravagantly silly finale that's like a deluxe live-action episode of "Scooby-Doo", only dumber and less coherent as everyone runs screaming hither and yon throughout the mansion (finally ending up in old Hiram's ghastly torture chamber) while some of the hoariest gags and haunted house tropes imaginable are recycled by former Three Stooges writer Elwood Ullman, who co-wrote the script with beach-party regular Louis M. Heyward.

Amidst all this, the simple romantic subplot between Tommy Kirk and Deborah Walley is barely given a chance to develop. Meanwhile, Ripper's gorgeous but evil daughter Sinistra (Quinn O'Hara) directs all her considerable seductive powers toward eliminating Myrtle's nephew Bobby (I forgot why), a goal that's repeatedly thwarted by her extreme nearsightedness.

Also appearing in the film are Nancy Sinatra (who sings the wince-inducing "Geronimo"), a young Danny Thomas discovery named Piccola Pupa (who's cute but not much of a singer), famed gorilla suit actor George Burrows as "Monstro", and former silent film star Francis X. Bushman (BEN HUR), who joins the rest of the cast's rather impressive group of vintage stars having some late-career fun (we hope) in this bit of nonsense.

 

Not the least of these is the great Boris Karloff, whose scenes with gorgeous Susan Hart were added, according to Wikipedia, after AIP producers James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff were unhappy with the film and thought it needed improvement. In their framing scenes, Karloff, as Hiram Stokely, is awakened from death's slumber by the ghost of his dead wife Cecily (Hart) and told that they will be reunited in the afterlife if he performs one final good deed.

The result is Hart's character, clad in an "invisible bikini", being awkwardly inserted into already filmed scenes as a mischievous but helpful ghost, with cutaways to Karloff observing the action in his crystal ball and making various comments being fed to him from off-camera.

One of the film's best assets is its use of lavish sets that are obviously left over from other AIP productions. That, along with the interesting cast and an occasionally infectious sense of fun, are just about the only reasons to recommend THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI to all but the most diehard beach movie fans and lovers of bad movies in general.  As part of the latter group, I enjoyed it, but others may find it just shy of unwatchable.

THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI (1966) -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE CHANGELING -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 8/2/18

 

One of the last of the "pure" ghost stories to appear on the big screen, 1980's THE CHANGELING (Severin Films) is noteworthy for its intent to send chills up and down our spines without resorting to any graphic violence or gore, and with hardly a jump scare to be found.  

The premise, reportedly based on actual events, is simple: composer and music teacher John Russell (George C. Scott), deeply grieving the tragic loss of his wife and daughter, moves into a massive old mansion that turns out to be haunted.

His raw emotional state seems to attract a troubled spirit within the house, which reaches out to him.  As frightening paranormal events continue to frazzle his nerves and ours, John and a sympathetic lady friend, Claire (Scott's real-life wife Trish Van Devere), endeavor to solve the mystery behind whoever may have died violently in the house and is now a restless and potentially dangerous supernatural entity.

There's a vaguely Argento quality to this setup (DEEP RED comes to mind), but director Peter Medak (ROMEO IS BLEEDING, THE KRAYS) intends to scare us using only images and situations rather than shocking violence or gouts of blood.  It's like a campfire tale that's effective because of evocative storytelling alone.

Still, the visuals are key, especially the huge, three-storey mansion that's so full of deep shadows, long passageways, endless stairways, and one of those hidden rooms accidentally discovered by our hero which is creepy, cobwebby, and stocked with disturbing clues including a child's ancient wheelchair. (A couple of ghostly manifestations are also highly effective.)

George C. Scott, of course, is about as good in the role as anyone could be, revealing the occasional insight into John Russell's unending grief while giving the impression that he's much too rational and in control to let a little thing like a haunted house scare him away.

Indeed, it's the intrigue of the murder mystery he's stumbled upon that keeps him there--when most of us would be out the door at the first errant creak--along with a growing sympathy for the ghostly, unknown victim of whatever terrible crime occurred there.

To this end, Russell and Claire enlist the aid of a female medium and her husband/assistant for a late night seance which proves to be one of the film's eeriest sequences.

Further clues in the mystery later lead them to tear up the floorboards of a nearby house where they discover an abandoned well which may hide a horrible secret. This is dark stuff from which director Medak derives every possible shivery scare.

Medak's visual style is mostly low-key and formal, with very little use of handheld camera and, at times, a bit of the coldness of Cronenberg's early work.  The influence on later ghost stories such as THE OTHERS is clear, as both films show a reliance on the supernatural as well as a bleak, shadow-strewn setting in evoking fear the old-fashioned way.

The film does herald an unfortunate future trend in ghost stories, which is the use of loud noises and sometimes raucous visuals in order to elevate the fear factor.  One of the eeriest scenes in the film uses neither--John is sitting at his piano, unaware that a door behind him is slowly opening. We expect the maid or handyman to be standing there when it swings open wide, but there's no one there at all.

THE CHANGELING resorts to sound and fury mostly during the finale, adding wind and fire effects and slow-motion for no apparent reason except to give us something to occupy our attention after the mystery has already been resolved and the actual scare factor pretty much faded out.

In fact, it has always been this final segment of the film that I found most unsatisfying ever since my first viewing during its initial theatrical run in 1980. But one or two people in the group I saw it with found it deeply frightening throughout.

This indicates that some, such as myself, will find THE CHANGELING a mostly, if not completely, effective old-fashioned ghost story with more than its share of chills but a not-quite-effective conclusion.  And others will sit in rapt, fearful, goose-pimpled thrall, holding their breath till the last flickering frame. 


Buy it from Severin Films

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Special Features:
Audio Commentary With Director Peter Medak and Producer Joel B. Michaels Moderated By Severin Films’ David Gregory
The House On Cheesman Park: The Haunting True Story Of The Changeling
The Music Of The Changeling: Interview With Music Arranger Kenneth Wannberg
Building The House Of Horror: Interview With Art Director Reuben Freed
The Psychotronic Tourist: The Changeling
Master of Horror Mick Garris On The Changeling
Poster & Still Gallery
Trailer
TV Spot

THE CHANGELING -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

SECRETS IN THE WALLS -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 9/6/11

 

Lightweight chills may semi-scare you when you learn the SECRETS IN THE WALLS (2010), a Lifetime Channel ghost flick that takes us by-the-numbers into familiar fright territory.

Jeri Ryan stars as Rachel, a divorced mom raising daughters Lizzie and Molly in a cramped city apartment.  A new job takes her to one of those quiet, tree-lined neighborhoods where she ends up buying a large old house after getting the full B.S. treatment from a smarmy real estate agent.  At first, it seems the place is just perfect, until Rachel and the girls discover that it's haunted.

As is often the case, the scenes which gradually introduce the supernatural element into the characters' lives are the spookiest.  It's only later when the filmmakers have to start showing and explaining more that things get less convincing and more contrived.  A latter-half plot twist really pushes the whole thing to a new level of incredulity.



Till then, though, we're treated to a rather politely unsettling thriller that zings us with a few minor jump scares, plus some creepy situations revolving around a hidden room in the basement which hides a decades-old secret.  Claiming the basement as her bedroom, teenage daughter Lizzie (Kay Panabaker, "CSI", "No Ordinary Family") is the focus of the haunting, with her "night terror" ordeal providing the most effective chills in the entire story.  Later, when that thing I referred to happens, she proves a rather generic presence even when trying to be menacing.

All of the characters are pretty shallow, with the still-striking Jeri Ryan ("Star Trek: Voyager"'s Seven of Nine) serving as both the standard strong-single-mom and the derisively eye-rolling skeptic type who always irritates me by condescendingly poo-pooing any notion of the supernatural until it hits her right over the head.  Peyton List as Molly performs her current specialty, which is being somebody's cute little blonde daughter as in the recent BEREAVEMENT. 

Molly, it turns out, is psychic and senses what's going on in the house although naturally Mom chalks it up to an overactive imagination.  Thanks to writer's convenience, Rachel's new co-worker Belle (Oscar nominee Marianne Jean-Baptiste, "Without a Trace", TAKERS) is also a "sensitive" and offers to help, giving us a psychic duo to double-team the invasive entity.  Molly, of course, sees it popping up all over the place in the early scenes, which gives Peyton List plenty of chances to act scared.
 


The script by William Penick and Chris Sey is almost a checklist of comfortably familiar elements, some of which I've already mentioned.  They include (1) the real estate agent pawning off a haunted house on an unsuspecting buyer, (2) the "strong" single mom who is also (3) an annoying skeptic, (4) the sensitive child who can see ghosts and (5) whose strange drawings concern her teacher, (6) the secret room that's been walled off, (7) the medicine cabinet mirror that reveals a ghost when opened, and (8) the "main character digs up a shocking old news story at the library" scene.  And when the real estate agent mentions that the house is the only one in the neighborhood with an open staircase, you pretty much know that sooner or later someone's going to fall over the railing.

The DVD from Vivendi is in widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  No subtitles, but closed-captioning is provided.  No extras.

Not great by any means but not bad enough to avoid, SECRETS IN THE WALLS is easy-to-take entertainment for viewers who want to shudder at some mildly spooky happenings without being taken too far out of their comfort zones.

SECRETS IN THE WALLS -- DVD review by porfle

BLOOD CHILD -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 9/18/18

 

Get ready to duck, because BLOOD CHILD (Random Media, 2017) throws everything it can get its hands on at the viewer, including the bloody kitchen sink.

We know right away that Ashley (Alyx Melone) is either nuts or dabbling in the supernatural when we see her and her obsequious maid from Singapore, Siti (Cynthia Lee MacQuarrie) cavorting in the backyard with a little girl in a red dress not long after Ashley's tragic, traumatic miscarriage.

It's made pretty clear that not only does Ashley not have a daughter, but Siti has a penchant for the black arts and has somehow cooked up a phantom replacement for Ashley's lost child.

Ashley's husband Bill (Biden Hall), a semi-dickish business executive whose friends are all cretins, and her obnoxious BFF neighbor Naomi (Charlotte Cattell), both find Siti creepy and both begin to experience nerve-wracking visions of Ashley's "blood child" suddenly popping up in dark, spooky places.

When Ashley's home pregnancy test reads positive one day, the semi-happy couple are joined by Ashley's mom Renee (Lisa Kovack), who will finally experience enough weird stuff going on in and around the house to put her foot down and demand Bill take action.  But will it be too late to save Ashley's unborn baby from her jealous, clinging ghost daughter?

What makes BLOOD CHILD watchable is the fact that writer-director Jennifer Phillips has embellished this rather simple story with such a non-stop string of shocks, stings, and spooky "gotchas" that some of them occasionally work, while the rest generate enough fun and interest to keep us watching.

The best scares come whenever the ghoulishly-grinning ghost girl appears lurking in a dark corner or under a couch in the middle of the night, or popping up behind someone's back in a mirror.  Of course, these moments don't work every time and aren't always pulled off that effectively, so it's all a bit hit and miss.

This is also true for the usual mysterious odors, loud noises, and other stuff that the typically skeptical characters dismiss with "it's just an old house" until enough freaky stuff happens to finally convince them.

The cast is adequately frantic even when their reactions don't make sense, as when an extremely disturbing experience is followed by a shot of everyone sitting around the dinner table.

The script just keeps barreling along despite all improbabilities, serving up more derivative ghostly goings-on to grab our attention until the usual ironically-downbeat ending.

There's a shocking bit of gore here and there, and plenty of creepy action that scarcely lets up.  There's isn't a lot of finesse to be found in BLOOD CHILD,  but horror fans not in an overly demanding mood should find it a pleasantly unpleasant diversion. 

BLOOD CHILD -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE HAUNTING -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/16/10

In 2010, Fangoria magazine teamed up with Lightning Media and Blockbuster for a series of eight horror/thrillers which were available exclusively on DVD, VOD, and digital download under the "Fangoria FrightFest" banner. This film is part of that series.


Hardly the sort of flashy, pyrotechnics-packed SPFX show POLTERGEIST turned out to be, 2009's THE HAUNTING (aka NO-DO: THE BECKONING) is the kind of slow-building, stately-paced ghost story that really gets under your skin if you're willing to settle in and let it go to work on you.

In 1940s Spain under General Franco, propaganda newsreels known as "No-Dos" packaged the latest news for general theater audiences, but a certain number of these films containing sensitive material were made for privileged eyes only.  Thus, only high-ranking members of the Catholic church were allowed to view footage involving a mysterious prostitute purported to be able to perform miracles, and the ill-fated process of judging her suitability for canonization which resulted in her supposed suicide and other unfortunate consequences.

Jump ahead to the present day, where Francesca (Ana Torrent), Pedro (Francisco Boira), their young daughter Rosa, and their infant son have just moved into the imposing old country mansion, formerly a school for priests, where the previous events took place.  Having lost their first child ten years earlier, Francesca is overprotective of their new baby to the point of frazzled obsession, which worries her husband.  And making things worse is the fact that Francesca is beginning to experience a growing number of terrifying paranormal visions as Pedro fears that she's losing her mind.  But we know better, don't we?

One thing that has always creeped me out is the use of scratchy, faded old black and white film as a mysterious element in stories such as this.  THE HAUNTING really scores on this count, with the forbidden No-Do reels playing a crucial role in ratcheting up the creep-out factor.  We discover that they were made using a special emulsion that made it possible to capture supernatural entities on the film, which is demonstrated by some pretty disturbing images.  When Father Miguel (Héctor Colomé), a psychiatrist priest bent on helping Francesca, opens up a shadowy, top-secret vault and plays one of the forbidden reels for her and Pedro (thus risking excommunication), it's one of the skin-crawling highpoints of THE HAUNTING. 

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, we find that the couple's new home isn't going to help Francesca's unstable mental condition much.  In fact, they might as well have just moved into the friggin' Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.  The distraught new mother keeps waking up in the middle of the night by banging noises and footsteps coming from the attic, which naturally her annoying skeptical husband never hears, and before long she's seeing ghostly figures floating around.  In one scene she grabs a flashlight and follows a trail of footprints into one of the upper rooms, where they go right up the wall and onto the ceiling.

The house is so alive with restless spirits that the film soon has us watching the shadows in every shot, waiting for them to coalesce into eerie figures.  Adding to the nightmare is Francesca's constant concern for her baby, whose incessant screaming has her at wit's end, and the presence of a weird old woman named Blanca (María Alfonsa Rosso) who keeps hanging around the house due to her involvement in the ghastly events of years past.  Even Francesca's daughter Rosa is starting to act strange, as though she knows something she's not telling.
 

The film is directed with stylish assurance by Elio Quiroga and elegantly photographed, with a very deliberate pace that allows us to wallow in the deeply atmospheric mood.  Argento fans should feel at home here, as will those who enjoy creepy old B-movies such as THE SCREAMING SKULL.  Special effects for their own sake are kept to a minimum and serve the story, with some genuinely unsettling ghostly images augmented by two or three blood-chilling jump scares.  A robust musical score alternates between sinewy subtlety and ear-splitting cacophony. 

As the story builds to a climax there's a fairly shocking surprise ending with some nasty twists.  (I'm glad I'm not one of those "I saw it coming" people--who wants to always know the surprise before it's revealed?)  In one of the best moments, Francesca, following one of the ghosts into the house's musty attic, finds herself inside the darkest and most ghastly of the old No-Do films and witnesses firsthand the horrors which inspired the haunting itself.  Unfortunately, the appearance of a final apparition which is meant to be the ultimate embodiment of evil is a bit of a letdown after all the anticipation, its monsterish countenance rather conventional and not very imaginatively designed.  But this is a minor quibble since the rest of the film is so pervasively effective.

DVD specs were unavailable, but according to Fangoria.com the film, "arriving as a Blockbuster exclusive August 6, will include a subtitled making-of featurette, the 8 FANGORIA FRIGHTS cable special and the eight FrightFest trailers. The DVD will offer both Spanish (with subtitles) and English-language soundtracks."

I've seen THE HAUNTING twice now and liked it even more the second time because I could better appreciate its visual style, good performances, and devious little nuances.  It's an old-fashioned ghost story with the visceral impact of a modern horror tale, and it left me feeling satisfied if not entirely terrified.

 

THE HAUNTING -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/27/21

 

I'll admit, I had my initial doubts that THE AMAZING MR. X (The Film Detective, 1948) was going to be all that amazing, judging from the pics that made it look like some kind of faux-supernatural romance fantasy with a few mildly Gothic touches.  

It didn't take long for director Bernard Vorhau (whose filmography contains several interesting-sounding films that I've never seen) and original story author Crane Wilbur (who wrote and directed the wonderfully hokey potboiler THE BAT) to dispel such notions.

Right off the bat, we find wealthy, still-grieving widow Christine (Lynn Bari, FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS, ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE KEYSTONE KOPS) rising from her bed in the dead of night and wafting onto the dizzying balcony of her mansion overlooking the ocean because she hears her dead husband Paul croaking her name from the great beyond.

 

This claim is met with skepticism by her ardent suitor Martin (Richard Carlson, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), who doesn't want to compete with a ghost for Christine's affections, and her kid sister Janet (Cathy O'Donnell, BEN HUR, THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES), who fancies herself more sensible and mature than her older sister.

Again right off the bat, this movie pulls us down into a dark sea of scintillating mystery and spooky atmosphere photographed in rich, gloomy black and white that's often quite beautiful.

That sheer cliff looming over the constantly rushing waves, along with stunning interiors of vast, ornate rooms strewn with shadows, makes for some exquisite production design which gives it all a noirish and at times dreamily indistinct quality. 

 

Being in such a suggestible state makes Christine easy game for supposed psychic Mr. Alexis (Turhan Bey, THE MUMMY'S TOMB, THE MAD GHOUL) who promises to pierce the veil of the spirit world and put her in contact with Paul. But is he for real, or just a slick, money-grubbing phony?

Bey is just right as the handsome and very smooth Mr. Alexis, who pretty much had me convinced from their first nocturnal meeting on the beach.   We then follow the investigation as a more logical-minded Martin hires a private detective to dig up dirt on "Mr. X." Even Janet does some undercover work as a prospective client but ends up taken in by the apparent huckster herself, finding him not only intriguing but also quite exotic.

What follows is a dizzying journey into the world of creepy seances, ghostly visitations, and other fever-dream stuff that's a pleasure to watch as the plot's various secrets slowly unravel themselves in satisfying fashion.

 

 

 The two female leads are fine, especially the very young Cathy O'Donnell. Richard Carlson does the "mundane guy" routine to a tee. Also on hand is prolific character actress Virginia Gregg who would later enjoy a lead role in OPERATION PETTICOAT and turn up in the original DRAGNET movie as well. Donald Curtis appears as the apparition of dead but not quite gone Paul.

The Blu-ray from The Film Detective gives us a new 4K transfer restored from original 35mm film elements, the result being a treat for those who appreciate good old black and white photography. Special features consist of audio commentary from professor and film scholar Jason A. Ney, the original documentary "Mysteries Exposed: Inside the Cinematic World of Spiritualism", and a full color booklet with the essay "The Amazing Mr. Bey" by Don Stradley.

A very pleasant, and very spooky, surprise, THE AMAZING MR. X emerges from its seeming cinematic obscurity (for me, anyway) to offer lovers of old-fashioned supernatural thrillers a heady experience that's so deliciously dark and moody that it's almost immersively atmospheric.

 

Media Format ‏ : ‎ Anamorphic, Dolby, NTSC, Widescreen
Run time ‏ : ‎ 1 hour and 18 minutes
Subtitles: English, Spanish
Release date ‏ : ‎ October 26, 2021
Actors ‏ : ‎ Turhan Bey, Lynn Bari, Cathy O'Donnell
Studio ‏ : ‎ Film Detective
ASIN ‏ : ‎ B096WNY182
Country of Origin ‏ : ‎ USA 

THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle