HARRY O: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/25/12

 

David Janssen was always good at playing a character who was wounded in some way.  His celebrated portrayal of Dr. Richard Kimball in the classic TV series "The Fugitive" showed us a man perpetually devastated by his wife's murder and his exile from society after being wrongly convicted of it. And with his soulful expressions, hesitant half-smiles, and awkward body language, Janssen made us feel his pain.

On a much lighter note, HARRY O: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON (Warner Archive, 6-disc DVD) gives us another wounded Janssen protagonist, only this time the injury is more physical than psychological.  Former police detective Harry Orwell has been forced into retirement by a bullet lodged near his spine, and now lives in a beachfront cottage in San Diego making his living as a private detective.

But unlike the terminally ill-at-ease Dr. Kimball, "Harry O" allows David Janssen to play an amiably world-weary guy who doesn't really have to give a damn unless he feels like it.  He's amusingly grouchy but too softhearted to be a total cynic, with a kind of guarded optimism that keeps him afloat (unlike the battered boat that he's perpetually working to restore).  Those who come to him for help will find him loyal and compassionate if they deserve it, and grumpily dismissive if they don't.

The series, which ran for two seasons from 1973-76 (including two pilot movies), is rich in the kind of 70s cop-show nostalgia one expects while being a few notches above the standard Quinn Martin-type product.  Harry himself is more wistful and introspective than the usual TV cop of the era, and thanks to his physical condition he sometimes has to stop and catch his breath during an exciting chase scene.  Not only that, but with a car that spends more time in the shop than on the road, Harry often arrives at the scene of the crime by bus.

While mainly serious, a wry humor permeates the show even in its darkest moments.  Much of it is contained in Harry's gruff voiceovers ("Personally, I don't mind being tailed...if I were ashamed to be seen someplace, I wouldn't go there") while the dialogue is often laced with amusing zingers such as when Harry calls on a woman known for her psychic abilities.  "Is she expecting you?" the maid asks at the door.  "If she's psychic, she is," Harry answers.  Most of the fun comes from Harry's pleasantly abrasive relationship with Lt. Manuel "Manny" Quinlan (Henry Darrow) of the San Diego police and his rookie assistant Sgt. Frank Cole, likably played by future cult actor Tom Atkins. 

Although the writing is consistently good, much of the appeal of "Harry O" is simply the chance to hang out with these characters and enjoy watching them go through their paces along with a variety of familiar guest stars of the era.  The first regular episode, "Gertrude", is a nifty enough mystery about a highly eccentric woman whose brother is missing from the navy, but seeing the appealing Julie Sommars in the quirky title role is what makes it worth watching. 

"Coinage of the Realm" not only gives us the great Kenneth Mars (YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN) but also shows that Dawn Lyn was actually a fairly promising child actress despite the idiotic "Dodie" character she played on "My Three Sons."  And speaking of child actresses, Lisa Gerritsen of "Phyllis" fame gets a surprisingly adult guest role in "Ballinger's Choice" as Paul Burke's 16-year-old lover, with Juliet Mills and Tim McIntyre also in the cast.

Episodes 11 and 12 form the season's only two-parter, "Forty Reasons to Kill", which features Joanna Pettet, Craig Stevens, and Broderick Crawford.  "The Last Heir" is a delightfully offbeat whodunnit in the Agatha Christie mold, with Harry stranded in a desert hacienda with a family of kooks trying to kill each other over an inheritance.  Jeanette Nolan is outstanding as the eccentric millionairess, with Whit Bissell and Katherine Justice lending support.

With episode 15, "For the Love of Money", comes a retooling of the series that finds Harry transported from San Diego to Santa Monica--thus losing co-star Henry Darrow, regretfully--and moving into another oceanfront abode, this time next door to a bevy of beautiful stewardesses!  (Which, not surprisingly, brightens Harry's disposition considerably.)  Billy Goldenberg's gorgeous cool-jazz musical theme is altered as well, while the opening titles sequence reflects a more action-guy persona for Harry (more running and shooting, less bus travel). 

Anthony Zerbe joins the cast as Lt. K.C. Trench, whose relationship with Harry will be alternately friendly and contentious, and Farrah Fawcett debuts in episode 19 ("Double Jeopardy") as a tentative romantic interest for the now inexplicably irresistible Harry.  The season's next-to-last episode, "Elegy for a Cop", features the shocking demise of a regular character in one of the season's most serious episodes (penned by series creator Howard Rodman).  The final episode in the set, "Street Games", is notable for giving us "Brady Bunch" alumnus Maureen McCormick as a teen drug addict.

Other guest stars featured during season one include Linda Evans, Jim Backus, Cab Calloway, Leif Erickson, Sharon Acker, Charles Haid, Stephanie Powers, Barry Sullivan, Linda Evans, Anne Archer, Gordon Jump, Lawrence Luckinbill, David Dukes, Rosalind Cash, Margaret Avery, James McEachin, Jack Mullaney, Diane Ewing, Marla Adams, Michael Strong, James Olson, Barbara Anderson, Robert Reed, Jerry Hardin, Sharon Farrell, Bernie Kopell, Mariclaire Costello, John Rubenstein, Diana Hyland, Kathleen Lloyd, James Wainwright, William Sylvester, Jack Riley, Lawrence Pressman, Kurt Russell, Ben Piazza, and Karen Lynn Gorney.

The first of two pilot TV-movies for the series--"Such Dust as Dreams are Made On", with Martin Sheen, Sal Mineo, Margot Kidder, Will Geer, and Marianna Hill (Fredo's wife in THE GODFATHER PART II)--is included on disc six, but not the second pilot, "Smile Jenny, You're Dead", which, sadly, is missing here. 

Sheen, an extremely familiar television presence at the time, plays Harlan Garrison, the petty thief who shot Harry years earlier during a hold-up and forced him into early retirement.  A young Cheryl Ladd appears briefly under her real name, Cheryl Jean Stoppelmoor.  The frantic motorcycle chase finale, with Harry hightailing it after a fleeing Sal Mineo, would be reused in its entirety for the episode "Elegy for a Cop."  

The six-disc DVD set from Warner Archive is in the original full-screen with Dolby mono sound.  No subtitles.  Picture quality shows its age a bit at times but still looked fine to me, although videophiles will no doubt notice every scratch.

While enjoying respectable ratings during its second season, "Harry O" would nevertheless be cancelled by ABC president Fred Silverman in favor of the jigglier "Charlie's Angels", causing a disillusioned David Janssen to pretty much retire from series TV altogether until his untimely death in 1980.  But we're lucky to have two good seasons of "Harry O", the first of which is now preserved in HARRY O: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON for 70s cop show fans to enjoy and wax nostalgic over. 

HARRY O: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

DISPLACEMENT -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/5/17

 

I like a good time displacement story in which, for whatever reason, the main character somehow becomes "unstuck in time", either figuratively (MEMENTO) or literally (Kurt Vonnegut's SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE).  Or, as in both TIMECRIMES and David Gerrold's fascinating novel "The Man Who Folded Himself", creates different versions of himself with each time jump which then interact in unexpected ways. 

With the aptly-titled DISPLACEMENT (2016), writer-director Kenneth Mader (CARNIVORE) has come up with a humdinger of a time displacement yarn that begins when physics whiz Cassie Sinclair (Courtney Hope, "The Bold & the Beautiful", ALLEGIANT) wakes up in an ice bath, with boyfriend Brian (Christopher Backus) lying dead on the bed with a fatal gunshot wound. 

Then, after a weird flash of light, the sun has changed position in the sky and her dead boyfriend, Brian (Christopher Backus), isn't dead anymore.

And that's just the start.  It turns out that Cassie's college master's thesis on time travel has been "borrowed" by the usual secret government agency in order to be militarized, and she's been swept up in the whole thing as sort of a guinea pig.

But something's gone seriously wrong with the experiment, something which threatens the stability of the entire universe, and it's up to Cassie to locate and correct the fault before it's too late for her and everyone else.

This is one of those mentally-stimulating "hard sci-fi" yarns that's brimming with technobabble that only an ardent science enthusiast could make total sense of, yet somehow I didn't have to follow every little nitpicky detail in order to keep up with it.

 

The general idea of the whole thing is well conveyed and we easily get caught up in Cassie's various intellectual conundrums, while the action and suspense angles are well covered by the organization's attempts to capture and "process" her.  We're also kept guessing as to just who she can and can't trust.

Brian becomes a suspect when she discovers her stolen notes in his backpack; her friend Josh (Karan Oberoi) to whom she turns for help seemingly betrays her; and even her own estranged father (Lou Richards) is in possession of her original notebooks and seems to be helping the bad guys develop her theory into a working time travel device.

Complicating things for her emotionally is the fact that her mother, Carol (Susan Blakely, THE CONCORDE: AIRPORT '79), has recently died of cancer, which triggers Cassie's desire to successfully complete the experiment and somehow help her despite the danger.

 

This part of the story gives it an emotional core that resonates amidst all the cold science and Hitchcock-like intrigue, making it one of the most all-around enjoyable sci-fi flicks I've settled into in a while.

Mader's film is well-crafted and immediately displays eye-pleasing art design and photography that contribute much to the overall experience.  Add to that some fine performanes from an outstanding cast (Courtney Hope is particularly good as Cassie) including Susan Blakely, Bruce Davison (WILLARD, X-MEN) as the enigmatic Professor Becker, and SUPERMAN II's Sarah Douglas as a shadowy government operative intent on gaining Cassie's cooperation by any means necessary.

If the recent TIMECRIMES wasn't enough to totally blow your mind when it comes to time travel thrillers, or you just want more of that wonderfully weird vibe that only comes from a good old-fashioned time displacement tale, the scintillating DISPLACEMENT is well worth devoting some of your time to. 


Arcadia Releasing Group will release writer/director Kenneth Mader’s award-winning sci-fi thriller DISPLACEMENT for an exclusive LA theatrical run at Laemmle’s Monica Film Center as well as on VOD April 28th, followed by play dates in Chicago and Dallas. 

VOD platforms include: Amazon Prime, iTunes, and Google Play, and the DVD will be available for rental from Family Video in May. Further DVD/BD release to follow.

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DISPLACEMENT -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE FOREST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/4/16

 

Try getting lost in a forest, and you'll understand what a scary place it can be.  Naturally, it's been the setting for horror films that either pretty much get it right (THE WOODS) or woefully get it wrong (THE EVIL WOODS).

Director Jason Zada's THE FOREST (2016) pretty much gets it right.  In fact, for a movie about a forest in which a forest is the star--namely, the lush, legendary Aokigahara Forest in Japan, in which people are said to lose themselves in order to commit suicide--this one is about as spooky and evocative as such a film can get.

From the moment we see Sara Price (Natalie Dormer, W.E., THE HUNGER GAMES, "Game of Thrones") getting her first psychic premonition that her identical twin sister Jess is in danger in said forest, and immediately flying to Tokyo where the missing sister teaches English, we're already beginning a gradual descent into this film's somber and oppressively ominous mood. 

Not only is an overall ambience of creepiness established early, but Sara hasn't even left her hotel and entered the forest before we're subjected to the first in a series of jump scares that flash-freeze the blood. 

Some of these, as in HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959), involve frizzy-haired old ladies.  Who, coincidentally, have often been left to die in the forest in years past by families who didn't know what else to do with them. 

Even when THE FOREST isn't goosing us, it's creeping us out in other ways.  Not the least of these is when Sara enters a visitors' center and is left in a room full of dead bodies that have been retrieved from the forest.  When one of them appears to move, is it really happening, or is Sara's mind already playing tricks on her?  This question will be a major concern throughout the story.

Sara meets a handsome Australian journalist named Aiden (Taylor Kinney, ZERO DARK THIRTY) who's about to trek into the woods with an experienced guide, Michi (Yukiyoshi Ozawa), and invites her along if he can include her in the article he's writing.  We share her relief in finding a kindred spirit such as he, but also her misgivings about his motives. (Was that a glint of recognition in his eyes when he first saw her?)

Thus begins the heart of the film's gripping story, replete with the dead bodies of those who have committed suicide, angry and terrifying ghosts who may or may not be real, teasing clues concerning Jess' whereabouts, and Sara's continuing doubts about both Aiden's trustworthiness and her own sanity.  Doubts which we, the viewers, must apprehensively share as things get scarier and scarier and we see it all through her eyes.

THE FOREST establishes an extremely effective fact-based mythology about the "suicide forest" that makes us fear any deviation from the beaten path (from which the main characters must, of course, deviate) and dread the prospect of being left out there all alone in the dark of night. 

It also has a way of deriving supernatural-type scares from even the more realistic situations in which Sara's overactive imagination gets the better of her.  This eventually brings us to a point where potential madness and delusion are far more frightening than ghosts. 

The beautifully-photographed forest locations are richly foreboding, while the Japanese setting with its history of ghost stories and legends adds to the exotic nature of the story. 

The filmmakers really run with this premise--ghosts, dead people, horrifying visions that may or may not be there--and just keep thinking of ways to creep us out with it.  Even when the film is unable to fully maintain its level of sustained fear, it stays interesting enough to keep our attention the whole time. 

Dormer finds just the right note to play Sara, somewhere between anxiety and resignation, while searching for her trouble-prone twin.  Kinney remains jovial but enigmatic as Aiden, and like Sara we're never quite sure of him.  The rest of the cast are good including Eoin Macken ("Merlin") as Sara's concerned husband Rob.

The Blu-ray+Digital HD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment is in 1080p high resolution widescreen with English DTS-HD master audio 5.1.  Subtitles are in English, French, and Spanish.  Extras include the featurette "Exploring 'The Forest'", galleries, storyboards, and an intimate commentary track by director Jason Zada.

With moments that'll have you jumping in your seat and an overall feeling of creeping fear, THE FOREST overcomes even its occasional lapses and a not-quite-satisfying ending (for me, anyway) to succeed as a memorably effective and exceedingly well-made modern horror story. 

THE FOREST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

HEROES SHED NO TEARS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 6/21/19

 

John Woo had already been directing films for 12 years before making HEROES SHED NO TEARS, aka "Ying xiong wu lei" (Film Movement Classics, 1986), but it's the earliest of his films that I've seen which already makes it an interesting watch for a fan of his dazzling, flamboyant directing style.

It was actually completed in 1984 but shelved until Woo's subsequent film A BETTER TOMORROW became a hit.  Sort of a contractual obligation film for Golden Harvest, Woo's heart wasn't completely in it, yet he packed this blazing war thriller with as much bloody, bone-crushing action and tearful sentiment as it would hold.

The story is simple: a group of seasoned Chinese mercenaries are hired by the Thai government to attack the jungle lair of a powerful, loathsome drug lord, destroy it, capture him, and make their way through Thailand, Cambodia, and Viet Nam to the coast and their pickup point.

But once they have him (after the film's first explosive action sequence gets things off to a rousing start), everything goes wrong. The next thrilling scene occurs when the group's leader Chan Chung (Eddy Ko) stops off at his home to check on his family (his son, sister-in-law, and her father), only to find them already taken hostage.

The tense, bullet-riddled mayhem that follows sets the tone for the rest of the film, which will consist of action scene after action scene connected by interludes of both sticky sentiment (Chan Chung and his son have many touching father-son moments) and out-and-out comedy relief supplied by two very gregarious young battle chums.

This is in addition to instances of shocking sadism supplied by an evil Vietnamese colonel with whom the group runs afoul when they rescue a female French journalist from being executed, during which the colonel loses an eye.

He not only orders his own men to go after the group, but also terrorizes a local tribe of villagers into tracking them down as well. With the Thai drug soldiers, the Chinese soldiers, and the native spear-carrying trackers all after our heroes, the film becomes sort of a jungle variation of Walter Hill's THE WARRIORS.

The aforementioned drastic shifts in tone are pretty much all over the place (a quality Woo was aware of while filming), but one hardly has time to take note of this before the next battle fills the air with bullets, blood, and fiery explosions.

At one point Chan Chung runs into an old American friend, one of those "never went home" ex-soldiers whose hut is rigged with about a ton of explosives, all of which will eventually go off when the bad guys find their way there.

Stylistically, the film has little or none of Woo's usual finesse, that certain artistic blend of slow-motion, creative camera angles, and meticulous rapid-fire editing to create a heady visual experience that goes beyond simply recording events.  Here, he uses more of a sledgehammer approach, well-staged but boisterous and bombastic. 

Along the way to their pickup point, our heroic mercenaries go through hell and have their number violently reduced one by one.  It's almost painful to watch when characters we care about are killed and situations go dreadfully wrong, but this is a testament to the relatively crude (by Woo standards) yet viscerally effective HEROES SHED NO TEARS, which is an absolute must-see for John Woo fans.  

Film Movement Classics
1986
99 Minutes
Hong Kong
Cantonese, English, Thai, Vietnamese (English subtitles)
Action, Drama
NR

Blu-ray Features

Interview with star Eddy Ko
New Essay by Grady Hendrix
Sound: 5.1 surround and 2.0 stereo

DVD Features

Interview with star Eddy Ko
New Essay by Grady Hendrix
 

HEROES SHED NO TEARS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

BORDER RUN -- Blu-Ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/22/13

 

Sharon Stone as a conservative, "fair and balanced" TV reporter who's against illegal immigration?  Well, I just knew that sounded too un-Hollywood to be true, and sure enough, before BORDER RUN (2012) is over, her character has an epiphany that revs her overacting dial up to eleven and beyond.

Sharon plays "hard-nosed right-wing journalist" Sophie Talbert, who, with a black fright wig emphasizing her pale skin, hardly looks like someone who lives right on the Arizona-Mexico border.  Like Jane Fonda's initially conservative TV newswoman in THE CHINA SYNDROME, she's on the wrong side of the issue at hand (by Tinseltown standards, that is) until shown the error of her ways--in this case, when her own relief-worker brother Aaron (Billy Zane) disappears in Mexico and she must enter the world of the illegal immigrant herself in order to find him. 

After Sophie arrives in Mexico, Aaron's co-worker Rafael (Rosemberg Salgado) offers to take her in his pickup to a meeting with someone named Javier who may be able to help her.  On the way there, they form an instant romantic bond that has them stopping off at a roadside bar to get drunk and dance while precious minutes in the missing Aaron's life tick away.  This odd passage indicates how awkward some of the tone shifts and scene transitions will be for the rest of the film.

Before we know it, Sophie and Rafael get separated and she meets up with Javier (Miguel Rodarte), joining a group of migrants whom he's smuggling across the border.  Naturally, Sophie's rigid attitude toward the whole thing begins to change when she discovers that some of the migrants are nice people with heartwarming personal stories (imagine that!), and that the process tends to be both dangerous and uncomfortable. 

Just how dangerous becomes clear when the tanker truck they're stashed inside gets diverted to a remote farmhouse well short of the border, where Sophie meets the film's main villain, Juanita (Giovanna Zacarías), a real piece of work who could easily be the poster girl for PMS.  We've already seen this mega-bitch-on-wheels repeatedly beating up the bound Aaron, who's also being held there, and now we get to see her kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach while one of her fat, sweaty henchmen has his way with the bound Sophie. 

This decidedly unpleasant rape scene gives Sharon Stone yet another chance to do some full-tilt emoting and it will be far from her last.  I won't go into everything that occurs next but after an escape, a chase, and the proverbial run for the border, Sophie ends up in a border station where her newly-found righteous indignation against U.S. immigration policy is given full vent.  Here, Sharon lets loose with a "big acting" moment by throwing a fit that is borderline (excuse the phrase) hilarious.

You might think that the film, having made its point, will fade out on Sophie's return to the USA to crusade against immigration reform, but this is when BORDER RUN pulls a plot twist on us that's worthy of a horror movie, with Sophie suddenly ending up in more grave peril than ever.  With this added sequence, the film finally lurches all the way into "so bad it's good" territory and makes me wish I'd been watching it as a wacky exploitation flick instead of a misguided message pic all along.

As mentioned before, Sharon Stone's performance here is wonderfully bad, especially since director Gabriela Tagliavini seems intent on photographing her as unflatteringly as possible from start to finish.  Billy Zane, who plays Aaron, demonstrates once again that if a project doesn't make him feel like turning on the old "Billy Zane" magic, he's Stiff City.  And as the monstrous Juanita, Giovanna Zacarías almost makes Al Pacino look like a study in subtlety.

The Blu-Ray disc from Anchor Bay is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  No extras.

BORDER RUN is ridiculously melodramatic where it means to be hard-hitting, and goes for big emotional moments that it hasn't really earned.  A weird combination of social relevance and pure exploitation, it fails as a "good" movie but succeeds, to some extent anyway, as a perversely entertaining train wreck. 

BORDER RUN -- Blu-Ray Review by Porfle

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS (1955) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

 (Originally posted on 11/22/2009. My reviews were pretty spoiler-y back then--in fact, I pretty much recapped the entire movie. So fair warning.)

 

I saw the 2001 Vin Diesel remake of this when it first hit home video, and now I can't remember a friggin' thing about it. Except it had some hinky CGI car-driving shots in it. They gotta use CGI just to show people driving cars now? They can't get actual stunt drivers to do actual cool car stunts? Anyway, I do remember one single zoopy-doopy CGI shot of Vin Diesel driving a car. Real memorable flick there.

Of course, it wasn't really a remake--it just used the same cool title. The original THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS (1955) was the historic first film released by American International Pictures, the undisputed kings of the low-budget exploitation flick during the 50s and 60s, and one of the first films produced (and co-written) by the legendary Roger Corman. 

 

It was co-directed by Edwards Sampson (MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR) and the film's star, John Ireland (RED RIVER), and probably didn't cost very much to make, since most of the running time consists of people driving around, walking around, having picnics, and reacting to some ragged stock footage of auto races.

Ireland plays Frank Webster, an independent trucker falsely accused of running another trucker off the road and killing him, when this was actually the other trucker's intention--(hmm, "other trucker" sounds kinda dirty somehow)--since lone wolf Frank was cutting in on a big trucking company's business. Well, Frank breaks out of jail and takes it on the lam with half the cops in the state hot on his trail. 

 

 

 

When he meets free-spirited racing enthusiast Connie Adair (Dorothy Malone) on her way to participate in a big race, he kidnaps her and heads for the border in her souped-up Jaguar with her as his beard. It turns out that the cross-country race will end in Mexico, so he enters it. Along the way, he and Connie fall in love (awwww) when she realizes he's really a nice guy who only acts mean and tough when he's kidnapping people and threatening to kill them.

Bruno VeSota, who played living-doll Yvette Vickers' cuckolded husband in ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES and popped up in about half a million other things later on, turns up in an early diner scene in which innocent fugitive Frank practically puts him into a coma. Another familiar face, Iris Adrian (BLUE HAWAII, THAT DARN CAT!), plays Wilma the gabby waitress. And during Frank and Connie's picnic interlude, who should turn up as the park caretaker but silent-film star Snub Pollard, whose movie career began in 1915. Pretty interesting cast, if you're warped like me.

The first half of the movie consists of Frank and Connie driving around and arguing a lot while evading the police, often while sitting in front of a screen with highway footage projected on it. The best thing about this is getting to look at the gorgeous Dorothy Malone. Holy schnikes! You may remember her as Bob Cummings' girlfriend in the original beach party movie, BEACH PARTY. Or not. 

 

Anyway, she was definitely easy on the eyes, and she gives a lively performance as Connie, constantly griping about being hungry and tired, and throwing the keys out of the moving car and trying to get away every time Frank turns around, and generally getting on his nerves as much as possible. Which he deserves, since he's pretty much of a horse's ass, actually. 

 

 

 

When they get to the place where the big race is being held, Connie runs into an old acquaintance, Faber (Bruce Carlisle, who was only ever in one other movie, FEMALE JUNGLE, thank god), who has the hots for her and starts trying to squeeze ol' Frank out of the driver's seat. Faber is a huge, irritating turdhead who is so creepy that he even makes Frank look like a barrel of laughs in comparison. When the race starts, Faber and Frank go at each other like characters out of the old "Wacky Races" cartoon all the way to Mexico.

And just as you're thinking "Die, Faber, die!" he crashes, setting up the startling ending that is dripping with irony. Well, maybe not dripping. More like a faint irony condensation around the rim. So when this happened I checked the running time to see how much time was left for the wrap-up, and it said forty seconds. Forty seconds? Yikes--when this movie decides to end, it doesn't let the screen door bang its sprockety ass on the way out.

One more thing I feel compelled to mention: right before the race, Frank decides to lock Connie in a secluded shack so she can't call the police and turn him in for his own good (she's convinced he'll get a square deal since he's really innocent, ha ha). So what's the first thing she does? She sets it on fire. I don't know about you, but setting the old wooden shack that I'm locked up in on fire wouldn't be my first idea. It would be around #11 or #12 on the list, tops.

Fortunately, a passing motorist sees the smoke and gets her out, and he's played by none other than an unbilled Jonathan Haze of LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS. Heck, Roger Corman himself even turns up early on as a state trooper. But, please--if you ever find yourself locked in a wooden shack, don't set it on fire right off the bat just because Dorothy Malone does it in this movie, because chances are that in real life, the guy who played Seymour Krelboin isn't going to toodle by and let you out.

So, while THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS isn't exactly an edge-of-your-seat nailbiter, it's fun to watch if you're into low-budget exploitation flicks from the 50s, and especially if you're a Roger Corman fan. And it actually has real people driving real cars. You even get to see Dorothy Malone tearing ass down the highway in one scene, which is cool in some weird sexual way that I can't even begin to explain. Plus, it was made twelve years before Vin Diesel was even born, so there's absolutely no danger of him being in it.

 

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS (1955) -- Movie Review by Porfle

FROZEN -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/20/10

 

"Predicament" movies are weird.  If they're done badly, they're boring, but if they're done well, they can be torture to endure.  So the only way to judge a movie about stranded people struggling to survive the elements, or trying not to get devoured by man-eating sharks or giant crocodiles, is by how unpleasant it is to watch.  FROZEN (2010) is unpleasant all right, though perhaps not quite the ultimate ordeal the filmmakers were aiming for.

The set-up is about as simple as it gets--three college kids go skiing for the weekend, get stuck on the ski-lift as the lodge closes for the week, and must either figure out a way to get down or slowly freeze to death.  Dan (Kevin Zegers, IT'S A BOY GIRL THING, Zack Snyder's DAWN OF THE DEAD) and Lynch (Shawn Ashmore, "Iceman" in the X-MEN movies) are childhood buddies who have grudgingly invited Dan's girlfriend Parker (newcomer Emma Bell), a novice skier, along on what is usually a "guy" outing. 

Like your typical teen movie, FROZEN begins with the three friends frolicking on the slopes to jaunty rock music and engaging in insubstantial dialogue back at the lodge, with the hint of romantic complications cropping up amongst them.  It's only when the ski-lift suddenly stops as they head up the mountain for one last late-night run that the harsh reality of the "predicament" flick hits our now totally helpless trio with a sickening thud.  While at first it seems like the set-up for an episode of "Seinfeld", they gradually realize that they're in big trouble and the viewer settles in for the ordeal to come.


 

To the movie's credit, the formerly lighthearted tone turns dark pretty quick as the hopeless situation goes shockingly wrong.  We've only had a brief time to get to know the characters, who aren't all that deep to begin with, but we've been made to care about them just enough to cringe during their increasingly desperate attempts to save themselves.  Meanwhile, they're buffeted by icy cold sleet and stricken with frostbite, and--wouldn't you know it--the bolts holding their ski-lift chair in place are coming loose.

With only three characters, you know something bad's going to happen to somebody sooner or later.  It proves to be sooner when one of them decides to jump, hoping the snow will break the fall.  It doesn't.  At that point, the film offers its equivalent to those man-eating sharks and giant crocodiles when a pack of ravenous wolves emerges from the forest.  This leaves only one remaining course of action--climbing up to the razor-sharp cable overhead and dangling hand-over-hand to the nearest support tower, where a ladder awaits.  Again, the suspense is painfully nerve-wracking.


 

Performances by the leads are as good as they need to be, with Emma Bell ably supplying most of the histrionics (especially when she starts worrying about what will happen to her dog if she dies).  Writer-director Adam Green (HATCHET, GRACE) wrings a good deal of tension from his simple premise and uses the camera well, with most or all of the outdoor scenes shot on location to establish a realistic sense of windswept isolation.  The stuntwork is coordinated by Jason Voorhees himself, Kane Hodder, who plays a bit part in the film. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with English Dolby Surround 5.1 and Spanish Mono.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a commentary track with director Green and the three lead actors, plus four "making of" featurettes, altered and deleted scenes, a trailer, and an Easter egg. 

Not quite as gruelingly suspenseful as BLACK WATER or some other films of its ilk, FROZEN is still one of the most nail-biting flicks I've seen in recent years.  I doubt if it will have much rewatch value for me, but it's just the thing to get the old adrenaline going. 

FROZEN -- DVD Review by Porfle

PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 1/19/22

 

Serials are a wonderful phenomenon unto themselves. They aren't self-contained units like movies or TV show episodes.  They're something that we watch in a different way entirely, with each open-ended chapter gradually adding up to a cumulative whole. 

And since the usually rather uncomplicated overall story must be sustained throughout these multiple chapters, it must necessarily be rambling, padded, stretched-out, repetitive, and filled with dead ends and shaggy-dog subplots.  (This is why so many serials have so easily been edited down into regular-length feature films.)

Because of this, serials seem to take place in their own unique, utterly unreal universe where actions are rash, dialogue is corny, the laws of physics don't apply, and logic as we know it simply doesn't exist.

Regarding the serial-like Saturday morning TV series "Jason of Star Command" I once said: "There's nothing like a show that's both stupid and cool at the same time to bring out the kid in me." This is, to me, a perfect summation of the appeal of the serial.  Since it's resolutely unlike anything else, it offers a whole different appeal and a refreshingly naive and uncomplicated kind of fun that's simply indescribable. 

Which brings us to PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO (1954), the latest classic serial to be released on Blu-ray and DVD by Olive Films.  The penultimate chapter play from Republic Pictures, who gave us THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MARVEL, it came near the end of the glorious serial era but still serves as a fun and exciting example of it.

The lovely and talented Phyllis Coates, who first played Lois Lane opposite George Reeves in the TV series "The Adventures of Superman", stars as Jean Evans, known as "The Panther Girl" by the local natives due to an earlier incident which has become legend.  Jean's profession as a fearless wildlife photographer makes her a bit of a female Carl Denham, who once boasted that he would've gotten "a swell shot of a charging rhino" if his assistant hadn't run away with the camera.

 

Here, however, the charging rhino is replaced by a "claw monster" created by Dr. Morgan (Arthur Space, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, THE RED HOUSE), a shady scientist operating in the area.  Morgan and his burly henchmen Cass (John Day, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, SILVER STREAK) and Rand (Mike Ragan, EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS, THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) have an illicit diamond mine but can't work it until the natives and other snooping interlopers have been run out of the area. 

To this end, Morgan has created a growth formula to turn crawdads--yes, crawdads!--into giant lobsters known as "claw monsters" which Cass and Rand then herd toward the village to wreak fear and havoc.  (And, potentially, one hell of a seafood dinner.) 

The whole thing's too much for even the intrepid Jean to handle by herself, so she calls upon the aid of her pal, big-game hunter Larry Sanders (Myron Healey, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, THE UNEARTHLY, RIO BRAVO) to come join in the hunt for the claw monsters and to help deal with Cass and Rand, who make quite a nuisance of themselves at the behest of Dr. Morgan.

Thus, we have the groundwork for 12 entire chapters filled with furious fistfights, blazing shootouts, jungle perils, and an ample serving of giant lobsters.  Sanders handles the frequent fisticuffs, with Jean usually falling and conveniently getting knocked out at the onset of each fight.  The shootouts are a different matter, as Jean wields a rifle or a pistol with equal skill. 

Each chapter ends, of course, with a cliffhanger, with Healey's character being the subject of a surprising number of them.  Most aren't all that imaginative, involving falling trees, exploding dynamite, quicksand, etc. but some end on a more exciting note with Jean being menaced by a giant lobster claw or an advancing gorilla-suit suitor. 

Phyllis Coates, who somehow looked appealingly MILF-y even in her 20s, makes for a fetching heroine when Healey isn't hogging the action limelight himself.  Many viewers used to seeing her in the prim 50s fashions Lois Lane wore in "Superman" will delight at the sight of Phyllis running around in her jungle miniskirt and boots for 12 chapters.  (She also sports a robust, chest-heaving scream that rivals that of the great Fay Wray herself.)

While much of the action consists of stock footage from the 1941 Frances Gifford serial JUNGLE GIRL, Phyllis gets ample opportunity to show off her character's derring-do when the usually self-reliant Sanders stumbles into a few sticky situations that require rescue by the Panther Girl.

In one scene she executes a thrilling high dive off a cliff to save the drowning hunter.  In another, she does a backflip off a swinging vine just in time to wrestle a crocodile that's about to eat him. 

Since this is a budget-conscious jungle adventure, the Republic backlot is pressed into service to stand in for darkest Africa, along with a standing town set, a simple native village, and a limited number of interior sets including the doctor's lab, the diamond mine, a saloon, and Jean's rustic jungle bungalow.

Special effects by the ubiquitous Howard and Theodore Lydecker (COMMANDO CODY: SKY MARSHAL OF THE UNIVERSE, JOHNNY GUITAR) include some cool rear-projection shots of those wonderfully hokey-looking claw monsters with Jean and Sanders blasting away at them in the foreground. 

The DVD from Olive Films has an aspect ratio of 1.37:1 with mono sound and optional English subtitles.  No extras.  The transfer is from a near-pristine print with beautiful black and white photography that's just a joy to look at.  (Note to subtitle writers: in 1954 it was "Miss", not "Ms.")

PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO probably wouldn't rank among the best serials of all time, but darn if it isn't one of the most downright fun and enjoyable ones that I've seen.  There's just something about these things--stupid, yes, but totally cool--that I find utterly irresistible.

PANTHER GIRL OF THE KONGO -- DVD Review by Porfle

Phantom Hand Blooper in "From Russia With Love" (1963) (video)

When Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) greets Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) at the door in the second James Bond movie "From Russia With Love" (1963, with Sean Connery), something odd happens--a phantom hand appears where you might least expect it.  See if you can spot it!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Hope you enjoy it!

Phantom Hand Blooper in "From Russia With Love" (1963) (video)

Nudity In The Sean Connery "James Bond" Films? (video)

Connery's Bond operated in the less-permissive 60s.  

Thus, little or no nudity was seen.

Ursula Andress seems to briefly bare all in "Dr. No."
But a closer look reveals her dignity remains intact.

As for the bedroom shot of Daniela Bianchi in "From Russia With Love"...
...is she, or isn't she?

"Goldfinger" comes close a couple of times.

Most of the time, however, a bit of suggestion was enough.

(Note: the emphasis here is on shots intentionally staged by the director, not accidental slips.)


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Nudity In The Sean Connery "James Bond" Films? (video)

Switcheroo Stunt in "DR. NO" (1962) James Bond (video)

It's a common but fun trick when the star "becomes" the stunt person in one unbroken take.

My favorite example is in the first James Bond film, "Dr. No."  First, we see Sean Connery and Ursula Andress.

They run behind some scenery, and, without cutting away, the stunt people emerge to dazzle and amaze us. 


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Switcheroo Stunt in "DR. NO" (1962) James Bond (video)

LIQUID SKY -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/15/18

 

 

I first saw Russian director Slava Tsukerman's 1982 avant-garde cult sci-fi classic LIQUID SKY back in the early 80s when it came out on VHS looking a heck of a lot cheaper and dingier than it does on Vinegar Syndrome's richly vivid new Blu-ray/DVD combo set (scanned and fully restored in 4k from the 35mm original negative and packed with special features).

Now, the film still looks low-budget but the talent and imagination that went into transcending that budget are allowed to shine through.  The visuals are a feast of 80s proto tech and economical cinematic imagination, all day-glo and neon and glam-punk and New Wave and ugly fashion and jaded cynicism set to robotic industrial music performed on a Fairlight. 

The setting is an urban milieu where sneering androgynous scarecrows get made up as though for Halloween so that they can express derision to either clicking cameras or their fellow drugged-out dance club denizens.

Our heroine, tall blonde beauty Margaret (co-scripter Anne Carlisle, CROCODILE DUNDEE, DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN), is one such model so disaffected by her lifestyle that any hint of normality now seems abrasively foreign.

Margaret is a victim not only of the lecherous men she invites back to her apartment simply because they have drugs--making her a victim also of her own flagrant self-destructiveness--but of the equally-violent, overbearing, profane, drug-pushing dyke Adrian (the great Paula Sheppard of ALICE, SWEET, ALICE) with whom she shares both a penthouse apartment and a sick, abusive relationship.

The main attraction of LIQUID SKY for me has always been Carlisle's exquisite dual-role performance as both Margaret and her nemesis, a preening male model named Jimmy with whom Margaret shares a mutual loathing.  Carlisle pulls off the feat of creating two intensely interesting and perversely compelling characters whose split-screen interactions are always utterly convincing and scintillating. 

But the weirdness really starts when tiny aliens land their spaceship on a nearby rooftop and start feeding off both the heroin-enhanced brainwaves of Margaret's visitors and also the chemical reactions caused by their orgasms, which proves lethal to them.  Thus, anyone who has sex with Margaret dies.

In this world the most appealing characters, for me anyway, are the more normal ones such as Margaret's older friend Owen, whose genuine concern for her makes him the first alien orgasm casualty, and Jimmy's indulgent single mother (to whom he is utterly dismissive except when begging for money) who lives nearby and is visited by an eccentric German scientist on the trail of the alien ship. 

It turns out her apartment window offers a fine telescope view of the tiny spaceship, giving her a chance to vainly try and seduce the man while he keeps an eye both on the ship and the lethal sexual activity going on in Margaret's apartment.  There's a mundane charm to their scenes that's a stark contrast to the infinitely stranger things going on elsewhere.

Meanwhile, our wacky nihilistic misfits continue courting death, a condition hastened by constant drug use--they live to snort and shoot up--and sexually-transmitted disease, upon which dwells much of the film's symbolism. 

Their casual cruelty to each other comes to the fore when they get together in the penthouse for one of their tacky, drug-fueled modeling shoots, during which Margaret's deadly new sexual side-effect will shock even these jaded louts of their curdled complacency in a big way.

LIQUID SKY is a low-key slice of wildlife that doesn't explode like THE FIFTH ELEMENT or mesmerize like 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY.  It's simply the story of an aimless New Wave waif named Margaret numbly wandering through a harsh world of hurtful people and some weird little aliens who help her by hurting them.  And watching it is like a dark but colorful carnival ride through a combination art gallery and spook house. 

TECH SPECS:Vinegar Syndrome/OCN Digital Distribution 
Genre: Cult/Science Fiction
Blu-ray/DVD Combo (2 Discs)
Original Release: 1982 Color
Rated: R
1:85:1
DTS-HD Master Audio Mono
Running Time: 112 Minutes (Plus 160 Minutes Special Features)
Suggested Retail Price: $32.98
Pre-Order: April 3, 2018
Street Date:  April 24, 2018

BONUS FEATURES:

Director’s introduction and commentary track
Interviews with Tsukerman and Carlisle
Alamo Drafthouse screening Q&A with Tsukerman, Carlisle and Clive Smith (co-composer)
“Liquid Sky Revisited” (2017), a 50-minute, making-of feature
Behind-the-scenes rehearsal footage
Never-before-seen outtakes
Isolated soundtrack
Alternate opening sequence
Photo gallery
Reversible cover artwork by Derek Gabryszak
Multiple trailers
English SDH subtitles

LIQUID SKY -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle