HK and Cult Film News's Fan Box

Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Saturday, August 2, 2025

DROP DEAD SEXY -- Movie Review by Porfle



(Originally posted at Bumscorner.com in 2005) 

 

Seeing the front cover picture for DROP DEAD SEXY (2005), which shows Crispin Glover and Jason Lee lugging the dead body of a beautiful blonde, I immediately thought "Weekend At Bernadette's." But this isn't about two guys trying to pass off a corpse as alive--the writers were actually able to come up with something a little different, thank goodness, and for the most part, it's pretty entertaining.

Lee and Glover star as Frank and Eddie, two dumb 'n' dumber Texas boys who try to earn some extra cash on the side by performing certain illegal tasks for a corpulent strip-club owner named Spider (Pruitt Taylor Vince), who gives new meaning to the term "shifty-eyed." 

Frank works for a used car dealer named Big Tex (Burton Gilliam), dancing around in the street in a cowboy outfit with a big cartoony head, while Eddie makes his living as a gravedigger (or "subterranean architect" as he likes to put it, proudly proclaiming: "People spend the rest of their lives in my holes!") 

Their latest task for Spider is to drive a pickup full of bootleg cigarettes to Mexico to sell them, with the promise of ten percent of the take. Spider tells Frank that he'll kill them if they mess things up, which is no problem until Frank stops in the middle of nowhere to take a leak and the truck explodes, destroying all $250,000 worth of Spider's cigarettes.


They decide to hide out for a while at Frank's boyhood home, where they find his mother, Ma Muzzy (Lin Shaye--she's the one who made you want to throw up in THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY and KINGPIN) stuffing her beaver--she's an taxidermist. Later, while scanning the newspaper, Frank notices an obituary for Crystal, the recently-deceased young wife of the town's richest man, Tom Harkness (Xander Berkeley, who played the milk-drinking stepdad in T2), and the picture shows her wearing a hugely expensive-looking necklace. Eddie recalls seeing her wearing it right before he buried her, and suddenly a lightbulb goes off in Frank's head--all they have to do is dig her up, grab the necklace, fence it, and pay back Spider, keeping whatever's left over for themselves. ("What if she's not dead?" Eddie worries.) Easy, right? 

Wrong, because she isn't wearing the necklace, and when the night watchman shows up before they can re-bury her, they end up having to take her with them back to Frank's house, which will be a direct violation of Ma Muzzy's rule against having girls in their room.

This, of course, is where the main complications of the story commence, especially when Frank hatches a new plan to ransom Crystal's body back to her wealthy husband. Meanwhile, Eddie is becoming a bit too infatuated with the beautiful dead woman lying on his bed, and for a few brief moments we get the idea that this movie is going to head off into some really weird directions. Fortunately, though, Eddie's interest remains platonic, and when he finally recognizes her as one of his favorite strippers at a club called "The Mean-Eyed Pussy Cat", the boys begin to investigate her past. 

This is where DROP DEAD SEXY stops being a total farce and morphs into a murder mystery. Eddie's pal, the coroner (Brad Dourif) informs them that Crystal had swimming pool water, not lake water, in her lungs when she was examined, but that the police didn't follow this up. Frank and Eddie suspect the husband of murder and hatch a plan to bring him to justice while ripping him off at the same time. What follows is still pretty funny but a lot of attention is paid to this increasingly complicated plot, which I didn't mind since it's pretty well handled and supplies a few nice surprises, and leads up to a cool shootout at the end. And the lead actors are so good in their roles that when the movie changes tone somewhat, they don't miss a beat.


The best thing about DROP DEAD SEXY, in fact, is the comedy team of Jason Lee and Crispin Glover. Lee displays a great "Bud Abbott" straight-man style here, but he's a lot funnier--he's forever impressed with his own brilliance even as everything he does backfires, and his reactions to the constant stupidity of his partner are often priceless. Crispin Glover, as usual, seems to have just dropped in from another planet. I find him fascinating to watch in whatever he does, and his deadpan portrayal of a laconic, hypersensitive, terminally-confused Texas boy is a wonder to behold and manages somehow to be restrained and over-the-top at the same time. I love the scene where Frank and Eddie visit the coroner, because it gives us a chance to see two of Hollywood's finest oddballs, Crispin Glover and Brad Dourif, trading dialogue over the dead body of a beautiful naked woman who, oddly enough, is holding a glass of white wine, while Jason Lee looks on in utter consternation. (You just knew there had to be some necrophilia in this movie, right?)



Share/Save/Bookmark

Thursday, July 24, 2025

BATMAN: THE MOVIE (1966) -- Movie Review by Porfle


 

Originally posted on 10/31/09

  

I remember when Bat-mania hit. When the Adam West TV series premiered, millions of kids were glued to their sets. We thrilled to the colorful adventures of the Caped Crusaders, Batman and Robin, as they fought to keep flamboyant foes such as Joker, Riddler, Penguin, and Catwoman from terrorizing the good citizens of Gotham City. It was like seeing the old Bob Kane comics brought to life, and we all went batty over it. In no time the Batman logo was all over T-shirts, lunch boxes, bubblegum cards--you name it. It was cooler than cool.

We didn't know it was a comedy. Most of our parents and older siblings didn't either--they just thought it was the silliest, stupidest thing they'd ever seen, and as we sat there watching each episode in Bat-ecstacy while the older folks poured on the derision, the jokes just went zooming like Batarangs right over all our heads. As I got a little older, I finally started to catch on to how dumb it was myself. But it wasn't till much later, when the Tim Burton movie prompted a lot of local stations to start showing reruns, that it finally dawned on me that "Batman" was one of the most deliriously funny comedies to ever hit the airwaves.

Meanwhile, back in my childhood...the show had been on for one season when word hit the playground that there was gonna be a movie. HOLY HOLLYWOOD, Batman! The local theater was packed to the gills with screaming kids on a Saturday morning back in '66 when BATMAN:THE MOVIE lit the place up. 

We sat in awe as our formerly TV-sized heroes went widescreen with bigger adventures, a bevy of bad guys, and better Bat-gadgets such as the Batcycle, the Batboat and the Batcopter, in addition to the already-awesome Batmobile. 

What we didn't realize at the time was that the movie was just as dumb as the TV series--maybe even dumber! Along with the POW!, WHAM!, and THUD! graphics that "Batman" was famous for, there might as well have been a giant ZOOM! above our heads as the jokes continued to sail right over them.


Back in the Batcave--that is, my livingroom, present day--I can now enjoy BATMAN:THE MOVIE as the wonderfully funny spoof that it is. Adam West as the wise, mysterious, somber Batman and Burt Ward as his earnest, straight-arrow yet boyishly-impetuous sidekick Robin are almost painfully deadpan. 

They take their responsibility as the Dynamic Duo, tireless protectors of Gotham City, with utmost seriousness, and they totally crack me up as they swoosh down their Batpoles, leap into the Batmobile, and Bat-a-pult into action against the nefarious foes of all that is decent.

Their dialogue is often hilarious, as in this Batcave think-session which features them trying to decipher two of the Riddler's fiendishly clever brain-teasers:

BATMAN: "Listen to these riddles, Robin...tell me if you interpret them as I do. One: what has yellow skin and writes?"
ROBIN: (after a moment's reflection) "A ballpoint banana!"
BATMAN: "Right! Two: what people are always in a hurry?"
ROBIN: "Rushing...people...Russians!"
BATMAN: "Right again. Now what would you say they mean?"
ROBIN: "Banana...Russian...I've got it! Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break their neck!"
BATMAN: "Precisely, Robin! The only...possible...meaning!"

Giving Batman and Robin a run for their money in the deadpan humor department is Neil Hamilton as Commissioner Gordon. To him, each new outbreak of villainy is the gravest catastrophe and would spell certain doom for Gotham City save for the intervention of the Caped Crusaders. His constantly apprehensive expression and dead-serious line delivery are perfect. 

When it appears that Gotham's most foul enemies have become partners in crime, he's utterly crestfallen. "Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and now, Catwoman..." the commissioner solemnly intones. "The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!"


The bad guys, on the other hand, get to have all the fun. Back then, everyone wanted to play a super-foe on "Batman"--even Frank Sinatra tried to land a role--and people who hated or didn't "get" the show were astonished by the list of big-name guest stars lining up to be on it. Here, Latin romantic star Cesar Romero plays the treacherous trickster, the Joker, his trademark moustache covered in white greasepaint (he refused to shave it off!) 

Distinguished actor Burgess Meredith is delightful as the foul-feathered fiend, the Penguin, while well-known actor and impressionist Frank Gorshin goes nuts as the Riddler. Julie Newmar, who was busy filming something else at the time, is replaced here by the equally statuesque Lee Meriwether as the felonious feline, Catwoman. The scenes with all four of them together in their secret waterfront lair or in Penguin's submarine are sparked with manic intensity and unrestrained nuttiness as these actors get to ham it up without any of the usual restraints.

There's a story floating around somewhere, but it isn't really important. The villains kidnap a guy named Commodore Schmidlapp (Reginald Denny) in order to obtain his new invention that dehydrates people into powder so they can make off with a group of United World ambassadors and somehow end up ruling the world. Who cares? It's all just an excuse to have fun.

Highlights include: Batman on a rope ladder below the Batcopter with a rubber shark hanging from his leg ("Robin! Hand me down the Shark-Repellent Batspray!"); Batman scrambing all over the waterfront trying to find a safe place to discard a huge bomb he's carrying, but surrounded by nuns, mothers with baby carriages, and baby ducks ("Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!"); Batman scolding a Pentagon offical over the phone for selling a war surplus pre-atomic submarine to a Mr. "P.N. Guinn", who didn't even leave his full address; and a long sequence involving Batman's alter ego, millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, on a date with a Russian reporter named Miss Kitka, who is really Catwoman. 

Bruce becomes deliriously smitten with the lovely Miss Kitka, and the screen practically drips with romantic cliches that are played so relentlessly straight by Adam West that the result is almost excruciating.

Of course, since the TV series always featured a nail-biting cliffhanger every week, the movie is filled with certain-death situations for Batman and Robin. We also get to see the famous Bat-climb, and we're finally shown how Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson, always leap onto the Batpoles in their street clothes but end up at the bottom in full costume. ("An instant costume-change lever!" I remember thinking as a kid. "So that's how they do it!")

On the downside, the movie gets a bit draggy in spots, and the ending isn't exactly what I'd call a big pay-off. I've always been disappointed by the opening titles as well--no supercool "Batman Theme", no cartoon Batman and Robin POW-ing their way through a horde of evildoers. There's even a lame-joke foreword that betrays the mock seriousness of the whole concept. But most of the time, BATMAN:THE MOVIE is a colorful rush of nostalgic fun that raises pure, straight-faced Bat-silliness to a level rarely experienced by anyone who isn't huffing nitrous oxide. TO THE BATPOLES!
 


Share/Save/Bookmark

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Batman & Robin Rescue Chief Brody! ("BATMAN" 1966/ "JAWS" 1975) (video)

 


The Orca is sinking! The shark is hungry! Chief Brody's in peril!

It looks like our sea-soaked citizen has only one hope for rescue...

...the Caped Crusaders, Batman and Robin!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!



Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

DOLEMITE -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 4/26/16

 

If the 70s were heroin, DOLEMITE (1975) would be an O.D.  This is one of the quintessential Blaxploitation flicks of the decade, and it revels in the era's day-glo tackiness with an avalanche of pure kitsch.

Rudy Ray Moore takes his popular comedy act to the screen with the character of super bad-ass pimp Dolemite, serving a bum rap in prison but released in order to redeem himself by bringing the real criminals terrorizing his neighborhood to justice.

This includes current pimp lord Willie Green (D'Urville Martin, ROSEMARY'S BABY, GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER, SHEBA BABY, BLACK CAESAR), who framed Dolemite and took over his nightclub, The Total Experience.  When Dolemite and Willie go at it head to head, the whole hood erupts in intermittent bursts of shooting, pummeling, extreme profanity ("You rat-soup-eatin' mutha****er!"), and really unconvincing martial arts choreography.


The film is chockful of gloriously bad acting, with the occasional good performance (Hy Pyke, who played "Taffey Lewis" in 1982's BLADE RUNNER is a crooked mayor) standing out like a sore thumb.  Moore and his co-star Lady Reed as madam Queen Bee are unpolished to say the least, but thoroughly earnest and into their roles. 

Along with the standard black crime boss come the requisite bad honkeys, who are, unsurprisingly, crooked cops representing The Man.  They're led by another capable actor, John Kerry (no, not THAT John Kerry), as the vile Detective Mitchell.  Scripter Jerry Jones is good black cop Blakely, while Vainus Rackstraw steals his scenes as a drug-addled informant known as "The Hamburger Pimp."

The script veers easily from drama to comedy and back.  After we hear the tragic story of how Dolemite's nephew was gunned down in the street and the whole neighborhood's going to hell, Dolemite's "ladies" bring him his colorful pimp clothes at the prison gate and he changes into them while the guards and inmates look on with mouths agape.


Minutes later he cheerfully ventilates some bad guys who were tailing his car with a machine gun, making the last one dance ("Girls, this muthaf***er's got rhythm, hasn't he!") before blowing him away.

Of course, Moore gets to perform some of his rhyming comedy routines during the film, as when he reopens his nightclub with a big event that quickly degenerates into all-out war with Dolemite and his kung-fu ho's (they've been studying martial arts while he was away) taking on Willie Green's pistol-packing thugs.

The film is loaded with vulgar sexuality and plenty of violence, although we're spared the sight of what appears to be Dolemite plunging his hand into someone's chest by a crude edit.  Production values are conspicuously low.  First-time director D'Urville Martin reportedly didn't take the project very seriously and it shows.  The overall look of the film is delightfully garish, with Moore himself credited as set designer.


The Blu-ray/DVD set from Vinegar Syndrome offers the feature film, which is restored from a newly-discovered 35mm negative, in both 1.85:1 matted widescreen and unmatted full screen (called the "Boom Mike" version for obvious reasons). An informative commentary by Rudy Ray Moore biographer Mark Jason Murray also includes comments from Moore and actor-writer Jerry Jones. 

Extras also include the making-of doc "I, Dolemite", raw footage from an interview with Lady Reed, a "Locations: Then & Now" featurette, and trailers for this and the sequel, "The Human Tornado." The DVD's cover artwork is reversible.

Back before home video and cable made such things commonplace even for kids, an "R" rating before a movie made us feel like we were really going to see something.  In achingly, blazingly 70s style, the unabashedly irreverent DOLEMITE delivers on that promise.






Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, April 15, 2025

WTF! -- Movie Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 7/22/17

 

It isn't often that your run-of-the-mill teen slasher pic actually defies and/or exceeds expectations, but WTF! (2017) lives up to its title by doing just that.

Not that it reinvents the wheel or anything.  It's just that debut director and co-writer Peter Herro has managed to toss in all the familiar ingredients and whip up something that doesn't taste like the same old microwaved mess.

Perez Hilton's cameo is, thankfully, brief, as he yells "F***ing spring break, pussies!" at a pool party (perfectly setting the film's early tone) and tries to be Steve-O for five minutes before disappearing.  (Yay!)


Then, it's off to a secluded cabin in the woods for our cast of bratty young party-hearty-ers and a fun-filled weekend of alcohol, weed, sex, skinny-dipping, and death.

(Oh, and just to get a couple of things out of the way to begin with -- there's no Wi-Fi and no cell phone service.)

All the stereotypes are here and then some, along with many of the familiar tropes (including the gas-station hick who warns the kids to "stay away from that place") which, by now, are so comforting that we sort of welcome them.

In fact, this movie wants to be predictable so that it can play around with, and sometimes bend, all our expectations.  Not to mention the fact that letting go and indulging in all the foolishness this genre has to offer, if done right and with tongue firmly in cheek, can be fun.


WTF! does just that by being a nicely-filmed self-parody pretending to be a serious horror flick.  The kids inhabit their roles to the hilt--the spoiled rich girls, the horny frat boys, the various loners (final girl, sensitive boy, etc.)--and actually play them with conviction.

This is especially true once it finally dawns on them that party time is over and the gore has hit the fan.  It's rare, but in this case the ensemble acting actually improves once the cast are expected to emote their heads off.  They're terrific, in fact, as is Herro's direction. 

Not only that, but after some pretty brutal kills, there's a nifty twist that I didn't see coming.  Or rather, I sorta saw it coming but not quite from that direction.  "WTF!", indeed. 






Share/Save/Bookmark

Sunday, April 6, 2025

THE BEST OF HARVEY KORMAN -- DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 7/25/17

 

A lot of people these days only know Harvey Korman from his Mel Brooks movies ("That's Hedley!"), but there was a time before that when his star shone brightly as the Emmy-winning second banana on TV's legendary "The Carol Burnett Show."

Time-Life's DVD release THE BEST OF HARVEY KORMAN assembles four complete (more or less) nostalgia-heavy episodes from 1969-71, three of which haven't been seen in 40 years, and they serve as a real time machine back to the way variety shows looked in those days.

Watching them now, the show's comedy is as incredibly corny as it can be, with paper-thin writing and forced punchlines, but also with a laidback informality (the performers break character often to either ad-lib or crack up at each other) that continues to appeal.


Production-wise, it often looks almost like a local TV production even though it was a top-rated show on a major network.  Strangely enough, this also adds to the show's charm--it didn't need a big budget with such likable performers to keep audiences happy.

Chief among these of course was Carol, that lovable, rubber-faced genius of physical and verbal comedy who always came across as the superstar next door.  She was a bundle of sparkling personality, especially during the celebrated Q & A segments with the studio audience.

Korman was second only to her in versatility, playing everything from henpecked husbands to weaselly lotharios (as in the lengthy and tedious Latin lover sketch) and everything in between. 


Rounding out the cast was cartoonishly handsome Lyle Waggoner, forever goodnaturedly spoofing his own manly image, while a sweetly callow Vicki Lawrence was the perennial "kid sister" before her eventual breakthrough as "Mama."

Comedy skits alternate with often cringe-inducing song and/or dance numbers, with the first episode in the set giving Lyle and Vicki solo songs that are less than memorable. Even veteran performers such as Bernadette Peters, Nancy Wilson, and Diahann Carroll can't do much with the tacky arrangements they're given. (A pre-"Jeffersons" Isabel Sanford appears briefly as a housekeeper in one segment.)

As for Korman, his appearances in the set are sporadic--the episodes seem pretty much picked at random and don't really showcase his best work at all.  The fact that he's in them seems enough to qualify them for inclusion here.


A skit in which he appears in drag seems to be the collection's highlight. Other points of interest are "The Old Folks" (Harvey and Carol as a doddering elderly couple), a solo comedy song emphasizing Harvey's vanity, Harvey as Richard Nixon, and a guest appearance by future castmember Tim Conway who would become Harvey's most frequent comedy foil. 

While not exactly THE BEST OF HARVEY KORMAN as the title suggests, it's fun to watch these episodes again after all this time and relive those decades-old memories.  Still, viewers who aren't seeing these creaky old skits and corny musical numbers through a golden haze of nostalgia might wonder what all the fuss is about.


PROGRAM INFORMATION
Format: DVD/Single
Running Time: 178 minutes
Genre:  TV DVD/Comedy
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
Audio: Stereo



Share/Save/Bookmark

Monday, February 17, 2025

THE BLOODY APE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Just so I don't give you the wrong impression, I want to say up front that this is a favorable review. I had loads of fun watching THE BLOODY APE, writer-director Keith J. Crocker's affectionate homage to the drive-in trash of yesteryear, and will enthusiastically recommend it to people who come knocking at my door trying to sell me a satellite dish or invite me to their church. 

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way and we can speak freely, I'll try to describe this surreal cinematic artifact to you. Imagine a cross between LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, BLOOD FEAST, and your dad's worst home movies. Whatever your mind comes up with, this is worse. Though filmed in 1997, it looks as though it were shot in 1967, buried, and then dug up by somebody's dog in 1997. It makes PINK FLAMINGOS look like it was directed by Terrence Malick. In fact, it makes almost literally every other movie ever made look good in comparison, unless, of course, Billy Crystal is in it. 

All of this, however, is simply part of THE BLOODY APE's makeshift charm. Crocker, a devoted grindhouse film aficionado who for several years published the popular fanzine "Exploitation Journal" with his pal George Reis, eschewed the "shot-on-video" look of much of today's indy titles and went instead for the more traditional look of actual film. Super 8mm film, that is--exactly the same stuff that all of us pre-home-video auteurs used in order to make our own geeky home monster movies back in high school. Except here, Crocker managed to shoot a feature film and get it released, so you gotta admire him for that. It's this homespun ingenuity and love for moviemaking that help make THE BLOODY APE such a strangely fascinating experience. 

The gleefully bizarre screenplay by Crocker and Reis is another factor. Loosely inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's "Murders in the Rue Morgue", it's the story of a carnival barker named Lampini (after George Zucco's character in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN) and his beloved performing gorilla, Gordo. After being screwed over by an abusive garage mechanic and a crooked rabbi, and then rejected by his girlfriend Ginger while he's proposing to her, Lampini decides to use his ape as an instrument of revenge. Taking a cue from Bela Lugosi's diabolical aftershave murders in THE DEVIL BAT, Lampini mails Ginger some of his special homemade banana cream soap. This lures Gordo to Ginger's apartment, where he kills her roommates in a frenzy of fake blood and banana-scented soap suds. 

In one scene, we get to see what would've happened in PSYCHO if Janet Leigh's shower had been interrupted by a crazed gorilla instead of Norman Bates. Then Gordo chases another naked roommate around the livingroom couch a few times before squeezing the life out of her as she looks into the camera and laughs. Rabbi Rabinowitz and Vic White, the incredibly racist garage mechanic, are next on the list, having been given bunches of bananas by Lampini beforehand. I don't want to spoil too much of the intricate plot, but this is where Gordo rapes Rabbi Rabinowitz' wife and then disembowels her. Although this sounds horrible, the fact that the victim is giggling through the whole ordeal tends to soften the heinousness a bit. 

Gordo's reign of terror then goes on to include car theft--he drives around until stopped by a cop, whose head he pulls off--and the murder of an ill-mannered video store clerk, which is justifiable. Equally shocking is the scene in which a hippie is furtively taking a leak in some bushes when the confused ape mistakes part of his anatomy for a banana, and... During all of this, an incredibly racist police lieutenant named LoBianco (Reis, who also plays Gordo) is irrationally convinced that the whole killing spree is the work of an innocent black man named Duane Jones (after the lead actor in George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD), which is a whole other subplot. With his ridiculous hair-helmet wig and fake goatee, Reis is as over-the-top hilarious as everything else about this movie. And as mechanic Vic White, Larry Koster is like a Jerky Boys character come to life. The early scene in which he browbeats the incredulous Duane (Chris Hoskins) out of the garage simply for wanting his car fixed sets the goofball tone for the rest of the film. 

Acting honors, however, must go to Paul Richichi as Lampini. With his dopey porkpie hat, cane, and Dracula cape, the ever-cheerful Lampini is a delightfully absurd character brimming with memorable quotes, as during his romantic dinner with Ginger: "The sky has never been bluer, the grass has never been greener, and Japanese sports cars have never been smaller, ever since I laid my head between your breasts," he gushes over a plate of Spaghetti-O's. "My love for you is as deep and as wide as the expanses of your vaginal cavity." To which the nonplussed Ginger responds: "What's the matter with you tonight? You're acting like a crackpot--like one of those self-proclaimed medicine men from the days of yore." Later, regretting his callous treatment of Gordo, he laments that he has become "so overwhelmed with repugnance for my enemies, that my love for my ape completely disappeared." 

Now, this is where I usually mention stuff like image and sound quality, but we'll skip that part and go on to the bonus features. The audio commentary is an entertaining gabfest with Crocker, Reis, Richichi, and Wild Eye DVD's Rob Hauschild, who directed the informative "making of" featurette, "Grindhouse Gorilla." Next is a Crocker short film, "One Grave Too Many", which boasts a crude sort of creepiness. Lots of other miscellaneous stuff is included: a gallery of covers from the "Exploitation Journal" 'zine, trailers for THE BLOODY APE and BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69, a pressbook, original VHS cover art, lobby cards, stills, and other related art. 

If you've read this far, you already know whether or not you should watch THE BLOODY APE as soon as possible or avoid it like the plague. It's loaded with exploitation goodies--nudity, violence, badly-done gore, bizarre situations, extreme characters, weird comedy--and done in such an unabashedly crude way that it radiates its own strange kind of fascination. As a Poe adaptation, George Reis accurately comments: "If you're running down the films based on Edgar Allan Poe, it's--one of them." As a study in miscommunication, as Crocker describes it, you couldn't find characters that are more miscommunicative. As cinema, it's like some kind of Super 8mm folk art whose worth can only be measured by each individual who watches it. As for me, I found it to be one of the funniest and most entertaining comedy-horror films that I watched yesterday.

 


Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

SNATCHERS -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle




(Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray TM I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own.)

Originally posted on 2/10/20


It's always a treat for fans of full-blooded (so to speak) 80s horror flicks to run across a new movie that captures that feeling as well as SNATCHERS (2019), which also also functions as a delightfully quirky teen comedy amidst the flying body parts and gouts of gore.

Mary Nepi stars as Sara, who wants to be accepted by the snooty in-crowd, and Gabrielle Elyse is Hayley, Sara's nerdy friend (one of those movie nerds who's pretty but wears glasses) whom she has recently "ghosted" in her quest for social status.

Their high school is the usual conglomeration of bitchy rich girls, hunky athletic dudes, nerds, and everything in between, with a satirical "Mean Girls" vibe running through the scenes in which mean-girl Kiana (Ashley Argota) holds court in the cafeteria.


Enter Skyler (Austin Fryberger), Sara's one-time boyfriend who left due to her constant refusal to put out. Now that Sara wants to lose her virginity, she and Skyler hook up for a night of unprotected sex after which she gets instantly pregnant and comes to full term in a single day.

Hayley grudgingly gives in to Sara's pleas for help, and together they visit a free clinic where (a) the ultrasound scan reveals something very ominous, (b) Sara gives birth to that something, and (c) that something not only kills everyone it gets its claws into but can also sink those claws into the back of a person's neck and operate their zombified body like a puppet.

Already we've got more than enough for a full-tilt horror flick, but SNATCHERS is just getting started. Sara and Hayley are a delightfully funny team as they scramble around trying to escape the creature (whose origin, it turns out, is connected to Skyler's recent visit to some ancient Mayan ruins) and bringing death and horror with them wherever they go.


Directors Stephen Cedars and Benji Kleiman, who co-wrote the lean, mean screenplay with Scott Yacyshyn, shoot it all in impeccable style with lots of creative camerawork and a non-stop pace.

Some choice found locations add much to the production values, including a soon-to-be-demolished city building that doubles as police station, jail, and hospital.

Horror fans with a yen for great practical effects will have a ball with the creatures (plural, since Sara quickly has a second one that intends to mate with the first one and create a race of kill-crazy aliens) and good old-fashioned hardcore gore, all of which is tastefully augmented by just the right amount of CGI.


It's like a throwback to the days of "The Reanimator", "The Thing", and "Dead Alive", with hints of the "Alien" movies (including a "queen") set against a kind of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Mean Girls" backdrop.

The two sensibilities are finely balanced and compliment each other in ways that generate a high level of giddy fun that never lets up.

Performances are top-notch, including Nick Gomez as an earnest young cop who falls for Sara's ditzy mother (J.J. Nolan) while battling the beasts, and, to my pleasant surprise, Rich Fulcher of "Snuff Box" fame as Dave, a veterinarian who lends his dubious skills to trying to help Sara through her natal crises.


Everyone, human and alien, eventually winds up at the big party being thrown at Kiana's house, where the gore really hits the fan and Sara and Hayley are forced to step up and go into action-hero mode with an array of makeshift weapons. Happily, the story is resolved in such a way that's both satisfying and worthy of these characters whom we've come to like.

It's all tongue-in-cheek horror fun in high style, and anyone who appreciates those visceral thrills of the 80s should find SNATCHERS a solidly-done throwback to them.



SPECIAL FEATURES
 

The Birth of Snatchers: A Behind-the-Scenes Look
Unexpected: The Snatchers Blooper Reel 
Commentary featuring Directors and Writers Stephen Cedars, Benji Kleiman and Writer  Scott  Yacyshyn

BASICS
Blu-ray/DVD Release: February 18, 2020
Order Due Date: January 14, 2020
Blu-ray and DVD Presented in 16x9 widescreen format
Run Time: Approx. 96 min
Enhanced Content Run Time: Approx. 117 min


DVD
Price: $19.98 SRP ($24.99 SRP in Canada)
1 DVD-9s
Audio – English (5.1), French, Spanish
UPC# 883929697977
Catalog# 1000749305


BLU-RAY
Price: $24.98 SRP ($34.97 SRP in Canada)
1 Blu-ray + 1 DVD + Digital Copy
BD Audio –DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 – English, French, Spanish
UPC# 883929697984
Catalog# 1000749306


On Digital January 7
Blu-ray Combo Pack & DVD February 18












Share/Save/Bookmark

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

"Police Squad!" Coffee Commercial (Episode 4: 3/25/82) (video)

 


Detective Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) is pursuing a mad bomber...

...in this hilarious parody of coffee commercials.

He consults with Police Squad's resident forensic expert.

But too much caffeine has made him cranky.

Decaf to the rescue!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

 


Share/Save/Bookmark

Sunday, September 15, 2024

SLEDGE HAMMER!: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle


 

Originally posted on 12/8/11

 

Having just watched the 5-DVD set SLEDGE HAMMER!: THE COMPLETE SERIES, I find that, once again, I dislike something at first and then end up liking it after further consideration.  This proves either one of two things: (a) I'm wishy-washy, or (b) you can't always go by first impressions.  I'm going to go with the second alternative, since it's less uncomplimentary toward me.

I have a vague memory of seeing an episode of this show during its first run (1986-88) and dismissing it as a crappy "Police Squad!" wannabe.  That criminally brief 1982 series (six big  episodes and out) by the Zucker brothers, which introduced Leslie Nielsen's celebrated "Frank Drebin" character and inspired the NAKED GUN movie trilogy, continued the same outlandishly farcical yet totally deadpan vibe of the Zuckers' AIRPLANE! on a smaller scale. 

Naturally, I was disappointed when I approached "Sledge Hammer!" expecting it to be more of the same.  What I finally realized after watching several episodes, however, is that this show is its own addlebrained entity--it's still a lightheaded farce that often resembles something out of MAD Magazine and celebrates silliness for its own sake, but the deadpan humor is shot through (pun alert!) with heaps of pure, giddy goofiness.  In fact, "Sledge Hammer!" works both when it's aping the bone-dry "Police Squad!" comedy style and when it's making funny faces at us.



It takes awhile to get its groove on, though.  The first episode is a bit of a mess--production values are murky, the direction and editing are flabby, and, worst of all, there's a laugh track pointing out the funny parts to us.  Still, it has John Vernon (ANIMAL HOUSE) as the mayor, who demands that Sledge be let loose on the case when his daughter is kidnapped by terrorists. 

There are some funny bits and Hammer's character, who is a cross between Dirty Harry and his watered-down TV equivalent "Hunter" (also a likable fascist cop with a female partner), is well established when he uses a bazooka to demolish an entire building in order to stop a sniper ("Trust me, I know what I'm doing" is his oft-heard motto).  Overall, though, it's pretty limp.

We get to watch the show get its bearings and start firing on more cylinders as the season progresses, with the scripts getting funnier and more daring, and the direction improving (Bill Bixby eventually helmed eight of the series' best episodes, with Dick Martin of "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" contributing a couple of good ones).  Despite its lesser moments, there's a relentless quality to the hot-and-cold-running gags and a sort of earnestness from the stars that makes the first season somehow likable.  And some of the gags actually score big laughs, as when Hammer and an informant (guest star Dennis Fimple) conduct a secret conversation via adjoining pay phones.



Before long, the chemistry between Hammer and his female partner Det. Dori Doreau starts to click.  RUNAWAY's Anne-Marie Martin (who, incidentally, co-wrote TWISTER with Michael Crichton) is an appealing foil for Hammer even though her comedic skills take awhile to develop, and their relationship has a certain charm--Doreau sees the good behind Hammer's fascist, violence-loving, ultra-right-wing exterior and eventually finds herself falling for him even though Hammer's first love is his gun, which he talks to and sleeps with. 

As Hammer, David Rasche (BURN AFTER READING, UNITED 93) has a firm grasp on the character from the start but also gets better as he goes along.  Rasche has a field day in the role, with his trigger-happy detective shooting first and asking questions later while gleefully roughing up everyone from jaywalkers to the mayor's wife.  He reels off one-liners like nobody's business--when a nagging reporter asks if he has any predictions, Hammer's deadpan response is, "Yes...scientists will perform the first brain transplant, and you'll be the recipient."  We eventually learn that Hammer thinks the death penalty is too lenient, his favorite song is "Taps", and the only thing he fears is world peace.

As season one comes to a close, just about the time Patrick Wayne does a delightful guest shot as Hammer's long-lost brother, the show really starts getting serious about being funny.  The season-one cliffhanger is insane, opening with a introduction by Robin Leach in which he announces that the series is making a bid for renewal by packing more sex and violence into the upcoming episode and ending with Hammer frantically trying to disarm a nuclear warhead that could annihilate the entire city.  Cult star Mary Woronov plays the mad villainess in this one, which actually does end with a nuclear explosion. 

How they resolve this open-ended situation at the start of season two is undoubtedly one of network television's nuttiest moments, with the show even changing its name temporarily as part of the joke!  And this is just the beginning of a series of episodes that get progressively more willing to be weird, while cast and crew all seem to be on the same page at last and making funny things happen.  Movie spoofs dominate, with films such as SHAMPOO, JAGGED EDGE, and VERTIGO getting the treatment (with the occasional misfire such as a weak parody of PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM). 

"Hammeroid" finds Hammer seriously wounded by a juggernaut robot (which is reminiscent of a similar character on the cult series "The Avengers") and turned into a cyborg a la ROBOCOP.  Fans of that movie should love this affectionate spoof, while Bela Lugosi fans are in for a treat with "Last of the Red Hot Vampires", in which "Love Boat" alumnus Bernie Kopel does a surprisingly good Lugosi imitation.  (The episode is "dedicated to Mr. Blasko", the actor's real last name.)



In "Jagged Sledge", Rasche gives a tour-de-force performance when Hammer must defend himself while on trial for the murder of a mob boss (the great Tige Andrews of "Mod Squad" fame).  Another episode, which finds Hammer going undercover as a prison convict involved in a breakout attempt, actually beats NAKED GUN 33 1/3 (1994) to the punch with a strangely similar premise.

Harrison Page (CARNOSAUR) is undoubtedly the funniest supporting actor in the role of Captain Trunk, a dead-on spoof of the perpetually screaming squad captain whose blood pressure is always sky-high thanks to Hammer's destructive hijinks.  Avoiding what could've been a one-note performance, Page is one of the best things about the show and is a constant delight.  In addition to those already mentioned, a sterling roster of guest stars includes Ronnie Schell, Bill Dana, Nicholas Guest, Ray Walston, David Clennon, Armin Shimerman, Richard Moll, Adam Ant, Brion James, Bud Cort, Mark Blankfield, and Russ Meyer regular Edy Williams.  Directors Bixby and Martin pop up in cameos.

The 5-disc DVD (22 episodes) from Image Entertainment is in 1.33:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital mono.  No subtitles or extras.

It's interesting watching a show go from blah to good as we see with SLEDGE HAMMER!: THE COMPLETE SERIES.  It may not be perfect but it's just plain fun, and by the time the last few episodes rolled around, I didn't want it to stop being Hammer Time. 




Share/Save/Bookmark

Sunday, July 14, 2024

WILD IN THE STREETS -- DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 8/16/16

 

What would happen if a rock-singing hippie in his early 20s could run for President?  And 14-year-olds could vote for him?  And Shelley Winters was his mom? 

These and hundreds of other questions are answered in goofy and sometimes scary psychedelic splashes of cinematic wonderfulness in the 1968 American-International classic WILD IN THE STREETS (Olive Films, Blu-ray and DVD). 

The film vividly depicts a Hollywoodized view of the 60s counter-culture era with its constant clashes between the younger and older generations--represented by bellbottoms, long hair, groovy lingo, and drug use on one side, and either straitlaced moral rigidity or sad attempts to remain "relevant" to the younger set, despite encroaching age, on the other--and is packed to the gills with knowing satire that skewers them both to the very core at every delightfully hokey turn.


If it seems dumb, it's deliberately so, almost in the same way that the "Batman" TV series with Adam West risked looking stupid to deliver its payload of delicious deadpan humor.  (Minus, that is, the more farcical elements of that show and plus a stern voiceover by Paul Frees.)

And yet, it's this quality that allows the story at times to sneak up on the unsuspecting viewer with a powerful emotional wallop which, especially during the film's downbeat climax, turns the improbable fantasy into a too-close-for-comfort Orwellian nightmare. 

The film's nominal "hero", Max Frost (James Dean lookalike Christopher Jones), who mass-produces LSD in the basement of his family home, rebels against his conservative father (Bert Freed) and dippy, clinging mother (Shelley Winters at her overpowering, self-deprecating best), leaving them to become a millionaire rock star with a loyal entourage that includes Richard Pryor, Larry Bishop (HELL RIDE, KILL BILL VOL. 2), and Diane Varsi as sexy acid-head "Sally LeRoy."


Ambitious senatorial candidate John Fergus (Hal Holbrook) makes the mistake of enlisting Max and his band to help him court the youth vote, but Max uses it as an opportunity to rouse his frenzied followers into a movement to lower the voting age to fourteen. 

When this (improbably) occurs, Max then rides his superstardom all the way to the presidency itself, whereupon he declares thirty to be the new mandatory retirement age.  At thirty-five, all citizens are to be interned in concentration camps where they'll be fed LSD to keep them docile and out of the younger generation's way.

Along the way, we're treated to some really great scenes that run the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime.  Winters is hilarious in her bull-in-a-china-closet efforts--doomed from the start--to ingratiate herself with her newly-moneyed son and appear young and hip.  She's really amazing to watch.


Max's rise to power, taunting disrespect for the establishment, and easy manipulation of the masses are potent fantasy, while seasoned actors such as Hal Holbrook and Ed Begley, Sr. lend needed dramatic weight to their scenes.  (Seeing Begley and the rest of Congress tripping out on LSD after Max and his "troops" have spiked Washington, D.C.'s water supply is a trip in itself.)

The songs aren't half bad, either, including the haunting "The Shape of Things to Come" which follows a Kent State-style shooting during a massive protest rally. 

Director Barry Shear worked mainly in television and gives WILD IN THE STREETS the look of a gilt-edged TV movie with welcome bursts of color and style.  Scripter Robert Thom adds another winner to a body of work that also includes DEATH RACE 2000, BLOODY MAMA, THE LEGEND OF LYLAH CLARE, and ALL THE FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS. Importantly, his "generation gap" screenplay doesn't choose sides--it's a wickedly satirical putdown of both. Composer Les Baxter contributes his usual lively musical score. 


In addition to the rest of the standout cast, a major part of the film's appeal is its star, Christopher Jones, whose uncanny resemblance to James Dean (in looks if not acting skill) is of constant visual interest.  He carries the picture as its charismatic focal point and makes us feel a dramatic involvement in scenes that might otherwise seem insubstantial while deftly revealing to us his "Angel of Light" character's inner corruptness. 

The DVD from Olive Films is in 1.85:1 widescreen with 2.0 mono sound and English subtitles.  A trailer is the sole extra.

My older sister used to take me to grown-up movies all the time back in the pre-ratings-system days when such films, as does this one, carried a "suggested for mature audiences" disclaimer.  (It has since been rated "R" mainly for its depiction of drug use.)  I vividly remember watching WILD IN THE STREETS with her in our local movie theater then, and now, 48 years later, I still find it just as disturbing, just as crazy, and just as wildly whacked-out--but a whole lot funnier. 




Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, July 9, 2024

THE SPOILS OF BABYLON -- DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 2/29/16

 

Remember when one of the big, big deals on primetime TV was the mini-series?  Back when they first started, we were captivated by these serialized soap-opera-esque epics, these melodramatic cheesefests in which we could wallow in kitsch and gorge ourselves on the exaggerated antics of the immoral upper crust. 

Names like "Rich Man, Poor Man", "The Winds of War", "The Thorn Birds", and "North and South"--as well as such weekly night-time soaps as "Dallas", "Dynasty", and "Falcon Crest"--still have the power to make us cringe as we recall the eye-rolling acting and sudsy storylines that assailed us once upon a time.

Now, stepping up to give such efforts their satirical due in a world of SCARY MOVIE and other such genre-deflating spoofs is IFC's mock mini-series THE SPOILS OF BABYLON (2014).  This six-episode saga is to its target genre what "Police Squad!" was to cop shows and "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" was to regular soap operas, except for one key factor--it isn't all that funny.


In fact, this story of the Morehouse family--oil-rich patriarch Jonas Morehouse (Tim Robbins), ambitious daughter Cynthia (Kristen Wiig), and rebellious stepson Devon (Tobey Maguire), whom they found wandering along a dusty Texas road as a child--tries so hard to be deadpan funny while ladling on its curdled veneer of pseudo-sophistication that it tends toward the turgid. 

One problem is that some of the leads aren't all that adept at this kind of comedy.  Tobey Maguire, in particular, is out of his element doing straight-faced satire, especially when his character runs away from home and goes through a beatnik phase (this episode, done up like a black-and-white art film, is so far removed from the show's original premise that it seems to belong in a different series altogether). 

Tim Robbins manages some laughs as Jonas, the millionaire with the heart of a humanitarian, but familiar castmembers such as Jessica Alba and Val Kilmer seem out of place.  Kristen Wiig of "Saturday Night Live" and the first season of "The Joe Schmo Show" (I loved her as "Dr. Pat") does the best she can with the "Cynthia" character as she takes over the Morehouse empire and becomes the archetypal evil, scheming villainess who seethes with a forbidden and ultimately doomed love for stepbrother Devon. 


Strangely enough, it's a grown-up Haley Joel Osment (THE SIXTH SENSE, FORREST GUMP) who comes off best as Cynthia's even-more-evil son Winston, who's so evil that he plans to sell a nuclear device to a terrorist dictator.  Osment is a hoot as he inhabits this role to its fullest and gives THE SPOILS OF BABYLON many of its more watchable moments.  Elsewhere in the cast, SNL alums David Spade and Molly Shannon show up for brief cameos (Spade's character is named "Joseph Soil").

Bookending each episode are introductory segments by the show's ostensible author, Eric Jonrosh (Will Ferrell, straining to be funny), a bloated, pretentious blowhard along the lines of the later Orson Welles. 

Jonrosh identifies himself as "Author, Producer, Actor, Writer, Director, Raconteur, Bon Vivant, Legend, Fabulist, Birdwatcher" and boasts of how his magnum opus, which he wrote, produced, directed, financed, and guest-starred in, was done on 93MM film using a process known as "Breath-Take-O-Scope."


The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  There are no extras.

Mildly amusing at times, THE SPOILS OF BABYLON tries everything including doubletalk dialogue, surrealism (Devon's new wife, Lady Anna, is played by an actual storefront mannequin), and sketch-level satire in the vein of "Mr. Show."  To say that the constant throwaway gags and one-liners have a 50/50 success rate would be generous.



Share/Save/Bookmark

Friday, May 3, 2024

GENTLEMEN BRONCOS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/8/10

 

I imagine that comedies about total nerds appeal to two seperate groups--the cool people who look down on the characters and laugh derisively at them, and the total nerds who can identify with them. Personally, I've always aspired to be part of a third category--the "cool nerd"--and thus able to enjoy GENTLEMEN BRONCOS (2009) from both perspectives. (Yeah, I know--all nerds think they're cool.) Either way, it's an exceedingly funny and inventive film that anyone can appreciate in one way or another.

Benjamin Purvis (Michael Angarano) is a high school nerd who lives with his widowed mother Judith (Jennifer Coolidge), a really bad clothing designer. Benjamin loves cheesy sci-fi/fantasy novels and has just finished his own epic entitled "Yeast Lords: The Bronco Years." During his stay at a writers' camp known as Cletus Fest, he submits his story in an amateur writers' contest which will be judged by legendary author Dr. Ronald Chevalier (Jemaine Clement) of the famed "Cyborg Harpies" trilogy. The stuffy and conceited Chevalier, who has run out of ideas and is about to get the boot from his publisher, goes ga-ga over Benjamin's manuscript and submits it as his own work, whereupon it becomes a huge bestseller.

Angarano wisely underplays the role of the introspective, world-weary but guardedly optimistic Benjamin, serving as the outwardly calm center for the storm of goofball characters swirling around him. Clement's bad-sci-fi author Ronald Chevalier is the quintessential full-of-himself minor celebrity who is as pretentious and self-important as he is achingly banal. Two fellow nerds whom Benjy meets on the bus to writers' camp are Halley Feiffer as the friendly but manipulative Tabatha and Héctor Jiménez as overtly eccentric amateur filmmaker Lonnie Donaho (Jiménez pulls the most awesomely extreme fish-face in every shot) who end up making a hideously awful videotape version of "Yeast Lords" with Lonnie playing the female lead.


Fans of Sam Rockwell (GALAXY QUEST, THE GREEN MILE) should have a ball watching him play two wildly different characters here: first, he's Benjy's mental image of the "Yeast Lords" hero Bronco, a bearded, long-haired wild man (based on Benjy's late, lamented father whom he barely knew) whose potent gonads are sought after by bad-guy Daysius as cloning stock; and second, as Chevalier's altered version of the character (renamed "Brutus") as a mincing, platinum-blonde transsexual who looks like a cross between Captain Kangaroo and one of the Nelson twins. Scenes from both versions of Benjy's sprawling saga supply some of the most outrageously funny moments in the film.

Best of all is the great Jennifer Coolidge (AMERICAN PIE, BEST IN SHOW) as Benjy's equally nerdy mom, Judith. Her dream is to be a clothing designer specializing in nightgowns--when she proudly displays her sketches, they're deliciously awful. She also makes horrible matching outfits for Benjy and herself, which, to his credit, Benjy wears without protest because his eternally supportive mom is also his best friend. Coolidge plays the role with utter sincerity which makes her that much funnier, and she's a joy to watch. (The outtakes reel features some of her hilarious ad-libs breaking up the cast and crew.)


The blissfully spaced-out Dusty (Mike White), a member of the "Guardian Angel" program at Judith's church whom she has enlisted to be a friend to Benjy, teaches him how to use a homemade blowgun, and when Benjy accidentally fires a dart into Judith's left boob, her screaming reaction is priceless. Later, Judith is molested by a rich buyer who has expressed interest in her designs, and when Benjy leaps to her defense, the guy starts shooting at them from the balcony of his mansion as they cower behind their car.

Another highlight occurs as we see Lonnie's dreadful screen adaptation of "Yeast Lords" get its grand premiere at a local movie theater, with Dusty starring as Bronco. This prompts Chevalier to threaten Lonnie with a lawsuit for plagiarising his new novel (which he stole from Benjy), setting up the final confrontation between Chevalier and an increasingly-indignant Benjy.


Some of the humor in this movie is so painfully deadpan that it almost dares us not to laugh. At other times, the unbridled absurdity abounds in waves of pure delight as we're treated to sights that might make you wonder what filmmakers Jared and Jerusha Hess (of NAPOLEON DYNAMITE and NACHO LIBRE fame) have been smoking. Much of the funny stuff is the kind that can be appreciated in an intellectually-stimulated silence, but now and then there are instances (usually involving Jennifer Coolidge) that provoke the kind of cathartic belly-laughs that make good comedy such a joy to experience.

The DVD from 20-Century Fox is in 1.85:1 widescreen with English Dolby 5.1 and Spanish and French Dolby Surround. Subtitles are in English and Spanish. Extras include outtakes, deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes featurette, and a fun commentary track with Jared and Jerusha Hess and DP Munn Howell. (The Blu-Ray edition contains additional featurettes not found on the DVD--well, isn't that special?)

The opening titles feature a collection of wonderfully cheesy sci-fi paperback covers, one of which I actually remember seeing on the rack back in the late 60s or early 70s--something called "Gender Genocide", I think. My consumption of such literature at the time was mainly confined to "Star Trek" and the occasional Andre Norton novel, but it's still fun to see all of this old paperback cover art. The accompanying main title song is the soul-deadeningly horrible "In the Year 2525" by Zager and Evans, one of the most horrendously godawful songs ever written and thus exquisitely appropriate in this context.

I had a great time watching GENTLEMEN BRONCOS and, admittedly, identifying with a lot of it. Heck, it's fun to be a nerd sometimes, which Jared and Jerusha Hess seem to know quite well, and when Benjy finally, really smiles for the first time during the triumphant last scene, their obvious love for this oft-maligned class of people is infectious.



Share/Save/Bookmark

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOLUME 1 -- DVD Review by Porfle



Originally posted on 3/12/14

 

Chances are that, sooner or later, many people who watch Troma Entertainment's latest cinematic outrage, RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOLUME 1 (2013), will reach a particular point in the action where they hold up their hand and say, "Okay, that's just going TOO far."  For some, that point will begin during the pre-titles sequence and last for about an hour and a half. 

For others, it may not happen until the disintegrating penis scene, the tossing-a-dog-over-Niagara-Falls scene, the "duck rape" scene, or the corrosive green slime lactation scene.  For me, incidentally, it was when two guys are arguing about music and one of them keeps insisting "Justin Bieber is the best!  The BEST!!!"

But first, there's a nostalgic opening montage of mayhem from previous Troma "Nuke 'Em High" films (with relatively much lower production values than this one) and a surprise narrator.  A tone of breezy irreverence sets in early and doesn't let up--in fact, it increases with each new and more imaginative atrocity,  beginning with an obligatory teen sex scene in the high school janitor's room that degenerates into horrific extreme gore in which both teens dissolve into heaps of gooey detritus.  (The girl's dramatic last words, "What kind of a god...?" become a running gag.) 

This scene is so colorfully, so gleefully over the top that we know "Okay, we don't have to worry about any kind of censorship, limits, boundaries, or taste--WHATSOEVER--for the next hour and a half."


The cause of this boundless horror is the former nuclear power plant site next to the school, which is now a sleazy "health food" factory called Tromorganic whose product is so rancid that even fast food joints won't carry it, and whose CEO (Troma chief Lloyd Kaufman himself, hilarious as the profoundly unscrupulous Mr. Herzkauf) has a deal with the school principal for his chemically contaminated vittles to be served to the unwitting students.

This will be the cause of serious trouble later on when bully magnets The Troma Poofs, a glee club composed of the school's biggest nerds, eat Tromorganic tacos and start morphing into sadistic monsters known as The Cretins who then terrorize their former antagonists along with whomever else gets in their way.  Much of the resulting mayhem may remind viewers of Peter Jackson's blood-and-guts-drenched horror comedy DEAD ALIVE not only in the high level of gore but in how downright bizarre much of it is. 

Comedy-wise, RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOLUME 1 makes NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE look like GIDGET GOES HAWAIIAN.  Director Kaufman stages crowd shots that are as densely packed with sight gags and elaborate set design as early MAD magazine panels, with Tromaville High so fully realized that it comes off like the legendary "National Lampoon High School Yearbook Parody" on acid. 


Against this backdrop comes the new girl, Lauren (Catherine Corcoran), whose pampered life is envied by the lower-class orphan Chrissy (Asta Paredes), an activist-blogger with her sights set on bringing down Tromorganic.  They meet-hostile at first, but somehow we know (since everyone's a familiar stereotype and every situation is a takeoff of the usual teen movie plot developments) that after a couple of highly stimulating catfights the girls will become friends. 

What we don't know, but I'm giving away now, is that despite the constant urging of her ultra-horny boyfriend Eugene (Clay von Carlowitz) to have sex with him, Chrissy is actually a budding lesbian, and that, even though obese, ultra-horny geek Zac (Zac Amico,  who's like a cross between Harry Knowles and Harry Knowles) begs her to go to the prom with him, Lauren is, in fact, also a budding lesbian and the two former enemies are now falling in love with each other.  (Wow!  This movie has everything!) 

Surprisingly, after the action has been barrelling along non-stop since the fade-in,  it's the lesbian sex scene which finally brings everything to a grinding halt (so to speak), but most viewers who have stuck it out this far (so to speak) won't be complaining.


Dialogue includes memorable lines such as "F*** me with your fish dick, Gil!",  which, unless I'm mistaken,  is an original.  There's also a series of those obligatory freeze-frame introductory thingies for each character that are so funny ("Caught masturbating to the Food Network") ("Black guy")  I didn't even care that I was never going to remember half of these nimrods or their quirky traits.  The script by Kaufman and four co-writers doesn't just deliver a gag and bow out gracefully but pounds us over the head with gleefully horrible variations of it until I can imagine a live audience screaming with laughter and literally rolling in the aisles.  Okay, figuratively.

All of the lead actors are fine, with Kaufman playing Lee Harvey Herzkauf with such unreserved wackiness that he makes Mel Brooks look like Emo Phillips.  Herzkauf's cohort in sleaze, Principal Westly (played by someone named Babette Bombshell) is like a fatter David Frye doing a more extreme version of his famous Nixon impression.  (As it turns out, he's the only person who has actually read Chrissie's anti-Tromorganic blog.)  Familiar faces such as Debbie Rochon and Lemmy pop up in welcome cameos, along with the aforementioned surprise narrator.  The gore effects, needless to say, are extreme and plentiful, as is the requisite boobage. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 widescreen with stereo sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  There are two commentary tracks, one with the main cast and the other featuring Kaufman and several fellow writer/producers.  Other extras include the featurettes "Casting Conundrum", "Pre-Production Hell With Mein Kauf (Man)", "Special (Ed) Effects", "Cell-U-Lloyd Kaufman: 40 Years of TROMAtising the World", a music video from the film's consistently awesome soundtrack, and a preview trailer for Vol. 2. 

RETURN TO NUKE 'EM HIGH, VOLUME 1 is the kind of resolutely "wild" and "crazy" comedy that can become tiresome, lame, and/or overwrought real quick if the people making it don't know what they're doing.  Wonder of wonders, the people making this one actually knew what they were doing!  Needless to say,  decent folk are hereby warned to stay far, far away from this movie.  As for me,  the only thing I found disappointing about it was the abrupt ending--when Kaufman says "VOL. 1" he really means it.




Share/Save/Bookmark