THE BLOOD ISLAND COLLECTION (Severin Films) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

  (Originally posted 11/11/2018)

 

"THE BLOOD ISLAND COLLECTION" is a Blu-ray box set from Severin Films which contains the following titles: Terror Is a Man/ Brides of Blood/ Mad Doctor of Blood Island/ Beast of Blood.  Here are our collected reviews of each separate title.

TERROR IS A MAN -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle


Being as it's the prelude film to what is known as the "Blood Island Trilogy", I watched TERROR IS A MAN (Severin Films, 1959) expecting something cheap and lurid--in a "so bad, it's good" sort of way--and was delighted to find that it's a terrific film, well-made, with a fine cast, and all the flavor of the best horror/sci-fi thrillers of the 50s.

It's a modest production, to be sure, but its budget is well-used and the sets and locations--a reclusive scientist's island home and laboratory, and the surrounding jungle--more than adequate.

Expertly and stylishly directed by Gerardo de Leon and Eddie Romero, the film is photographed in crisp, atmospheric black-and-white (this 4k restoration from a recently-discoverd fine grain print looks great in Blu-ray) that's noirish and often gorgeous to look at. It also boasts a robust musical score.

Sort of a cross between "The Island of Dr. Moreau", "The Most Dangerous Game", and "The Creature Walks Among Us", the story begins when a lifeboat containing one William Fitzgerald (Richard Derr) washes ashore on a secluded island in the Philippines, where Dr. Charles Gerard (Frances Lederer) lives with his wife Frances (Greta Thyssen), sadistic animal wrangler Walter (Oscar Peesee), and a native boy and girl who are their servants.

It doesn't take long for Fitzgerald to discover that Gerard is involved in some pretty unethical experiments in evolution--namely, attempting to surgically transform a panther into a human being.

Fortunately for us, this has resulted in a horrific but very cool monster that tends to escape pretty often and go on murderous rampages which have already driven the island's terrified native population to flee in boats.

Naturally, Gerard's wife Frances is a beautiful woman who hates her husband's work and is strongly attracted to the handsome stranger, an attraction that he reciprocates in record time.  Before long, they plan to escape the increasingly-unbalanced Gerard and leave the island together, but before this can happen the panther-man breaks loose again and his current rampage will result in catastrophic death and destruction for several of those involved.

For those who love vintage 50s horror films, this one should fit the bill quite nicely--at times it even has shades of the old Universals in a slightly low-rent sort of way, with a tragic, tortured (but adequately frightening) monster who evokes sympathy even as it strikes out in bloody violence against those who have caused it pain.

The cast is fine, starting with Frances Lederer who was so effective in the title role of THE RETURN OF DRACULA and the gorgeous Greta Thyssen, best known as the leading lady in the Three Stooges' final Columbia shorts such as "Sappy Bullfighters."  Richard Derr, a veteran of such films as FIREFOX and AMERICAN GIGOLO and a two-time Admiral on "Star Trek" ("The Alternative Factor", "The Mark of Gideon") gives a solid performance as well.

Giving it a touch of the old William Castle bally-hoo is the announcement in the film's foreword of a warning bell intended to give the squeamish time to close their eyes when something ghastly is about to happen. It's only used once, and the scene isn't all that ghastly, but it's the sort of touch that makes movies like this just a bit more fun.

Severin Films' Blu-ray comes with the usual array of fun bonus material, including:

Man Becomes Creature: Interview with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
Dawn of Blood Island: Interview with Co-Director Eddie Romero
Terror Creature: Interview with Pete Tombs, Co-Author of “Immoral Tales”
When the Bell Rings: Interview with Critic Mark Holcomb
Trailer
Poster & Still Gallery
Reversible BLOOD CREATURE Cover

(NOTE: Something I didn't notice the first time I watched the Severin Blu-ray disc is an annoying buzzing noise that begins somewhere near the middle of the film and lasts for several minutes. Others have reported hearing this on their copies as well. I checked an earlier posting of the film on YouTube and this noise was not there.)

As the film that kicked off the "Blood Island Trilogy" of American/Filipino horror productions, TERROR IS A MAN is an old-school monster lover's delight that's just pure fun to watch.

BRIDES OF BLOOD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle


As the first film in the "Blood Island" trilogy, which was kicked off nine years earlier by its unofficial prequel "Terror Is a Man", the American-Filipino co-production BRIDES OF BLOOD (Severin Films, 1968) gets this particular horror cycle off to a lively, lurid, and very colorful start that's nothing if not wildly frenetic and fun.

This time the island is inhabited by a tribe of natives who are regularly attacked by a terrifying jungle monster that is only appeased when they sacrifice their lovely young maidens to it two at a time.  Lashed to poles and stripped, the unfortunate lasses await the toothy, snarling beast who then has its horrible way with them before ripping them to pieces.

None of which sets well with idealistic young Peace Corps worker Jim Farrell (John Ashley), who arrives at the island to oversee various work projects and promptly falls in love with native girl Alma (Eva Darren), who, naturally, promptly becomes one of the next women chosen as a sacrifice to the jungle monster.

Also getting involved are seasoned research scientist Dr. Paul Henderson (Kent Taylor) and his neglected, sex-starved, and rather voluptuous wife Carla (exotic dancer-turned-actress Beverly Hills).  Dr. Henderson is interested in gauging the effects of nuclear tests on the islands in the area.

The three outsiders soon meet Estaban Powers (Mario Montenegro), a wealthy gentleman who invites them into his nearby mansion which is stocked with all manner of odd servants including the ogre-like Goro.  He seems nice and hospitable enough, but there's something off about him that won't become blindingly obvious until later.

Meanwhile, Powers shows the astonished outsiders some of the surrounding jungle's bizarre features, which include snakelike vines and tree tentacles which are alive and very carnivorous (all due, of course, to those nuclear tests and their radiation).  When these puppet-like tentacles get riled up, they give the living forest in THE EVIL DEAD a real run for its money.

With such a set-up, it doesn't take long for BRIDES OF BLOOD to become a free-for-all of mutated flora and fauna attacks (even the butterflies and cockroaches get into the act) along with a deadly conflict between Jim Farrell and the natives when he rescues his love Alma from the jungle monster's hungry clutches and both must flee for their lives.

Meanwhile, the mansion serves as a backdrop for sexual tension with poor Carla wandering around looking for love after trying in vain to arouse her husband and continuously throwing herself at Mr. Powers.  This works out nicely for the viewer since the generously-endowed Beverly Hills (aka Beverly Powers) is very easy on the eyes.

Some long, talky sequences soon give way to lots of action, especially when the slavering, comically-outlandish jungle monster is ready for its closeups.  This thing has to be seen to be believed--it's like a big, mutant escapee from a deranged Sid and Marty Krofft series and is constantly bellowing for victims to ravage and rend asunder.

Production values are pretty good although not as polished as those of its predecessor, "Terror Is a Man."  In color this time, the film is loaded with action that's vividly staged and fast-moving.  Graphic violence consists mainly of quick glimpses of body parts and such.  Nudity is also brief and seen mainly from a distance.

Kent Taylor played in lots of prestigious films in his career but I think of him most fondly in stuff like THE CRAWLING HAND, THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, and this.  Beverly Hills, who lent her talent and looks to a wide array of films such as SPEEDWAY and I'LL TAKE SWEDEN, is ideal as the sexy wife.

Best of all is the great John Ashley, former teen idol and star of such classics as FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, and the legendary "Beach Party" series.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films features a 4k scan from a recently discovered 35mm interpositive and is presented absolutely uncut for the first time ever.  The usual bundle of bonus features includes:

Audio Commentary with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
Jungle Fury: Archival Interview with Co-Director Eddie Romero
Here Comes the Bride: Interview with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
Beverly Hills on Blood Island: Interview with Actress Beverly Powers a.k.a. Beverly Hills
Alternate BRIDES OF BLOOD ISLAND Title Sequence and JUNGLE FURY Title Card
Teaser Trailer
Trailer
Poster & Still Gallery
Reversible ISLAND OF LIVING HORROR Cover  

Not quite a top-drawer production, BRIDES OF BLOOD is still technically far superior to the gore-drenched jungle exploitation dreck we'd start to see in the coming decades.  Thanks largely to its great cast and freewheeling style, it's a barrel of fun from start to finish.

MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle


The middle entry in the American-Filipino "Blood Island Trilogy" that started with "Brides of Blood" (and its sort-of prequel "Terror Is a Man"), MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND (Severin Films, 1969) moves the dial much closer to eleven with more blood (much of it green), more gore and severed limbs, more grotesque monsters, and, last but not least, more sex and nudity.  In other words, more exploitation for our twisted viewing pleasure.

This time the boat to the island carries Dr. Bill Foster (John Ashley of "Brides of Blood" again), investigating reports of a green-blooded maniac on the island; Sheila Willard (Angelique Pettyjohn), a woman searching for her long-missing father; and a young man named Carlos (Ronaldo Valdez) returning to his old village in hopes of persuading his widowed mother to return to civilization with him.

What all of these people have in common is Dr. Lorca (Ronald Remy, THE LONGEST HUNDRED MILES, FLIGHT OF THE SPARROW), a research scientist who may or may not be an insane crackpot performing horrifying experiments on anyone he or his henchman Razak can get their hands on. The local natives provide a steady supply of subjects, several of whom now roam the jungle as hideous chlorophyll plant-monsters attacking people and disemboweling them.

These scenes are way more graphic than in previous entries in the series, as we're treated to bloody severed limbs and heads flying about while copious amounts of actual animal entrails ooze from a procession of hapless victims.  The gore effects are crude but plentiful, while the grotesque monster makeup, especially on the main chlorophyll creature, makes them look as though they're wearing spinach and asparagus pizzas on their faces.

The steamy melodrama within Dr. Lorca's mansion takes up much screen time, providing not only heaps of interpersonal conflict (along with some amusingly biting dialogue) but also a much larger sex and nudity quotient than before.

This is especially true for Carlos when he's reunited with a young village girl from his past who seduces him while still carrying a torch for his dead father, and for Dr. Foster and Sheila who are destined to go at it eventually.  Various village girls scamper around nude in the jungle as well before coming face-to-face with Chlorophyll Man.



As in the previous film, John Ashley ends up on the run with his girlfriend from a group of hostile villagers who think he's brought misfortune to their island.  Meanwhile, we get to see a tomb opened up, a graphic monster attack inside Dr. Lorca's own home, some eyebrow-raising plot twists, and, finally, an explosive finish that takes place within a subterranean laboratory of horror.

Production values are considerably less polished this time although the beautiful natural settings are a huge asset.  There's an odd stylistic affectation that grows tiresome real quick--whenever a monster is present, the camera lens zooms in and out in jittery fashion.  Before long I was wishing I could get my hands on the cameraman's zoom lens and smash it to pieces.

There's also a disturbing element of needless, sadistic animal cruelty in one scene that puts a damper on the entire film.  It's a really nasty scene, and I couldn't view anything else that followed without repeatedly going back to it in my mind.  This is the sort of thing that would also ruin my enjoyment of other jungle exploitation films to come.



The great John Ashley once again lends his considerable presence to the proceedings, this time accompanied by the equally noteworthy Angelique Pettyjohn.  "Star Trek" fans will remember her as the warrior woman with the Jiffy-Pop bra and silver hair in "The Gamesters of Triskelion" as well as numerous cult pics like "The Last Empire" and "Repo Man."

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned in 4k from a recently discovered camera negative and presented totally uncut for the first time ever, including the legendary “Oath of Green Blood” prologue.  Extras include:

Audio Commentary with Horror Film Historians Nathaniel Thompson and Howard S. Berger
Audio Commentary with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
Tombs of the Living Dead: Interview with Pete Tombs, Co-Author of “Immoral Tales”
A Taste of Blood: Interview with Critic Mark Holcomb
The Mad Doctor of Blood Island: Archival Interview with Co-Director Eddie Romero
Trailer
Poster & Still Gallery
Bonus Disc: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack CD (in box set only)
Reversible TOMB OF THE LIVING DEAD Cover

As a continuation of the "Blood Island" series, MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND ups the exploitation ante on all counts and comes through for anyone who likes their monster/horror action cheap, lurid, and drenched with sex and gore.  The animal cruelty element is indefensible--for some, it will even be a deal-breaker--but otherwise this is down and dirty monster fun. 

BEAST OF BLOOD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle


Like many horror fans, my first look at the "Chlorophyll Man" was in Dennis Gifford's celebrated book, "Pictorial History of Horror Movies."  Now, with Severin Films' Blu-ray release of BEAST OF BLOOD (1970), we get to see the movie behind that picture in all its gruesome, exploitative glory.

The finale of the "Blood Island Trilogy", which includes "Brides of Blood" and "Mad Doctor of Blood Island" (along with the 1959 prequel, "Terror Is a Man"), this lurid shocker is pure grindhouse goodness for horror lovers who enjoy wandering the dark territory of the grotesque and bizarre.

The story picks up right where "Mad Doctor of Blood Island" left off, with Dr. Bill Foster (the great John Ashley) leaving Blood Island on a boat which, unbeknownst to him, contains a stowaway--none other than the dreaded Chlorophyll Man himself.  When this creature attacks in a frantically-staged scene, the ship ends up sinking and Foster is the only survivor.

He returns to the island some time later to investigate brand new sightings of the "green men" created by evil Dr. Lorca, and discovers that the doctor has also survived the previous film albeit with some severe facial burns and a renewed interest in creating green-blooded chlorophyll monsters using the local island inhabitants as his guinea pigs.

Foster and a hardy crew of local men set off through the jungle to Dr. Lorca's remote subterranean lair, accompanied by plucky lady reporter Myra Russell (Celeste Yarnall, LIVE A LITTLE, LOVE A LITTLE, "Star Trek: The Apple") and even pluckier island girl Laida (Liza Belmonte) who is as handy with a machete as she is beautiful.

Much of the first half of the film covers their trek through the jungle, which tends to drag a bit until finally we rejoin Dr. Lorca in all his mad-doctor glory. "Beast of Blood" kicks into fun-gear at this point, thanks mainly to the fact that Chlorophyll Man's decapitated head is being kept alive while his headless body is strapped to a lab table, also alive.

Lorca's laboratory set and its surrounding cave tunnels look like something out of "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." and give the movie a pleasantly low-rent science fiction vibe. But it's the horror of that really hideous animated head leering back at Lorca and baring its fangs, biding its time for a chance to get revenge, that gives these scenes a satisfying shudder.

As usual, Lorca keeps a fresh stock of native captives caged for his ghastly experiments, with the goriest scenes consisting of some actual animal entrails being sliced and diced by the mad doctor's scalpel under the camera's loving gaze.

The film's sex quotient is filled early on when Foster and Myra have a steamy sex scene containing quite a bit of nudity.  Soon after, Myra is kidnapped by Lorca's men and serves mainly as a damsel in distress, giving Foster and crew added incentive to descend on Lorca's compound bearing spears and guns in the film's delightfully action-packed battle royale.

The machete-wielding Laida is especially fine during this sequence, and even Myra gets a chance to impale a bad guy or two.  John Ashley fans will enjoy seeing him in James Bond/Indiana Jones mode as well.  But the best part is when Chlorophyll Man takes telepathic control of his headless body (in a finale reminiscent of "The Brain That Wouldn't Die") and goes after Dr. Lorca while the laboratory crumbles around them.

Visually, this Severin Films Blu-ray (available only as part of the "Blood Island Collection") is less refined and restored than the rest of the trilogy, but it's a look that I find deeply appealing in a nostalgic way.  Extras consist of the following:

Audio Commentary with Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
Celeste and the Beast: An Interview with Celeste Yarnall
Dr. Lorca’s Blood Devils: Interview with Actor Eddie Garcia
Super 8 Digest Version (approx. 15 minutes)
Trailer
Poster & Still Gallery

With no arthouse pretensions whatsoever, BEAST OF BLOOD simply wants to shock, appall, and exploit our basest entertainment needs, which it does in shameless earnest.  It's prime, joyfully perverse drive-in fodder, and I'd rather watch it than whatever they threw Academy Awards at this year.  


"Terror Is a Man", "Brides of Blood", and "Mad Doctor of Blood Island" can be ordered separately. "Beast of Blood" is available only as part of "The Blood Island Collection."  

THE BLOOD ISLAND COLLECTION (Severin Films) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

EMANUELLE AND THE LAST CANNIBALS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/20/18

 

Sex and cannibalism--two great tastes that go great together.  That is, if that particular combination appeals to you.  And if it does, then you'll be in for quite a treat when you watch Joe D'Amato's 1977 Italian flesh feast EMANUELLE AND THE LAST CANNIBALS (Severin Films).

Finding a clue to a lost tribe of people-eaters deep in the Amazonian jungle, intrepid journalist Emanuelle (Laura Gemser, VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN'S PRISON, THE ALCOVE) heads south in the company of handsome anthropologist Prof. Mark Lester (Gabriele Tinti, who would co-star with Gemser in VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN'S PRISON and also marry her in real life).

Lester's young lady friend Isabelle (Monica Zanchi), a trader's daughter, agrees to take them and a nun, Sister Angela (Anne Maria Clementi), on a supply run to the isolated mission of a priest who knows about the lost tribe. 

During the trip, they're also joined by a gruff big-game hunter named McKenzie (Donald O'Brien) and his oversexed wife Maggie (Susan Scott), whose sexual dysfunctions--he's frustrated and impotent while she's a nympho making out with the help behind his back--add fuel to the film's dramatic fire.

Once we meet all the players, it's time for a long jungle trudge that's frequently interrupted by intense softcore sex scenes involving various combinations of characters. 

It quickly becomes apparent that these people have sex the way race car drivers have pit stops, and they're all in a constant state of arousal.  This leads to a few volatile exchanges, mostly due to McKenzie's jealousy, that play out like something from a steamy pulp novel.

But just when we think we're simply watching a jungle skin flick, in swoop the ever-stalking cannibals to make off with someone and stake them out for some maniacal dismembering, disemboweling, and devouring. 

While not entirely convincing, the graphic gore FX (often using actual animal entrails) are above-average for this kind of flick and those not already desensitized by frequent viewing of such cinematic atrocities will likely be properly shocked and appalled.

When Isabelle herself is kidnapped by the ravenous horde and made the main attraction in a horrific sacrificial ceremony, those who remain must undertake a desperate rescue mission in which they're vastly outnumbered. 

Still more blood 'n' guts cannibal action ensues, as well as a thoroughly unpleasant gang-rape sequence, after which the film's rousing finale takes place with a daring escape attempt that ends it all on a high note.

The cast of familiar genre stalwarts is in top form here, particularly the lovely Laura Gemser in her signature role as Emanuelle.  Despite some long stretches of repetitive hiking through the jungle and monotonous sex, the story manages to build to a suspenseful pitch in the latter half as things grow more hopelessly bleak for our main characters. 

D'Amato (BEYOND THE DARKNESS) handles the direction with his usual rough-hewn style, in which moments of placid sexual imagery are harshly juxtaposed with tawdry, stomach-churning gore. 

With that in mind, potential viewers should have no problem deciding whether or not this is their kind of movie. For those who are intrigued by the prospect of such horrific goings on, EMANUELLE AND THE LAST CANNIBALS delivers enough sex and violence to satisfy the most voracious appetites.


Buy it at Severin Films

Special Features:
The World Of Nico Fidenco: An Interview With Composer Nico Fidenco
A Nun Among The Cannibals: An Interview With Actress Annamaria Clementi
O’Brien MD: An Interview With Actor Donal O’Brien
From Switzerland To Mato Grosso: An Interview With Actress Monika Zanchi
I Am Your Black Queen: Laura Gemser Archive Audio Interview
Theatrical Trailer
Reversible Box Art
Italian and English/English captions

Reversible Box Art:

EMANUELLE AND THE LAST CANNIBALS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

DRIVE-IN MASSACRE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 (Originally posted 2/27/2017)

 

When a movie is described as "so bad, it's good", often the "it's good" part is solely up to the charity and goodwill of the viewer.  If you simply don't like bad movies at all, chances are DRIVE-IN MASSACRE (1976) won't appeal to you at all.  But if you qualify as a bonafide junk-film junkie, then this no-budget little effort will likely tickle your fancy in a big way even though, at times, it really does tend to get just a tad dull.

What it mostly does for me is to let me indulge in some good old-fashioned nostalgia and wallow in hazy, golden memories of things like drive-in theaters (natch), renting obscure VHS horrors from the local hole-in-the-wall video store (which is how most people probably first caught this one), and reliving those crazy wonderful early days of slasher flicks before the genre wore itself out through sheer repetition.

Like BLACK CHRISTMAS and THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (and before HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH), DRIVE-IN MASSACRE was right there on the ground floor of the slasher era, when poor but plucky filmmakers were still making up the rules and flying by the seat of their pants.

Here, of course, most of the film's shortcomings--limited funds, rushed schedule, less than stellar acting and dialogue, crude gore effects--are, in hindsight, what makes it so endearingly fun to watch. 

And speaking of gore, there's considerably less here than in the average H.G. Lewis movie, but what there is scores major fun points.  My favorite is the guy who leans out his car window to snag a speaker and gets his head cleanly lopped off by a samurai sword. 

Most of the kills happen to people sitting in their cars watching the drive-in movie, including a double skewering (later reprised in FRIDAY THE 13TH) and a sword through the throat which elicits a wonderfully expressive reaction from the actress (that's her on the poster).

While semi-competent police detectives Leary (co-scripter John F. Goff as "Jake Barnes") and Koch (Bruce Kimball as "Michael Alden") bumble their way through the murder investigation in seriocomic style, suspects include foul-tempered drive in manager Austin (Robert E. Pearson as "Newton Naushaus") and feeble-minded janitor Germy (Douglas Gudbye)--both of whom happen to have carnival experience working with knives and swords! 

(Note: all the cast aliases have something to do with SAG rules.)

There's also a perv named Orville (Norman Sheridan as "Norman Sherlock") who likes to creep around from car to car, peering in at the more amorous couples and--err--"gratifying" himself.  While we're busy keeping up with all the potential suspects and red herrings, much screen time is devoted to those couples yakking away (some of the dialogue is amusing) while the guy tries to score. 

Not all the action is confined to the drive in, however.  In addition to scenes of the two cops grilling people at the station or running down (literally) suspect Orville who flees an interview at his house, there's a lengthy detour in which another likely candidate gets cornered in a warehouse while holding a young girl hostage.

This nutty-looking psycho is none other than familiar character actor "Buck" Flowers (ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, THE FOG), who, it turns out, co-wrote the screeplay along with Goff and director Stu Segall (as "Godfrey Daniels"). 

Buck's hostage here is his own daughter Verkina Flowers, and the cat-and-mouse sequence that follows her escape, while nominally entertaining, seems most likely intended to pad out the running time. 

This is also true of a long interlude in which former carnival geek Germy wanders through a brilliantly-lit carnival at night for several minutes while dialogue from earlier in the film wafts through his mind.

While the scene serves little purpose, it's beautifully photographed (looking particularly good in Blu-ray) and offers yet more nostalgia value, this time for the days when a carnival was just about the most fun place I could imagine being at.  Besides a drive-in, of course.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films (which boasts a cool reversible cover) is widescreen with 2.0 English audio and optional English subtitles. Severin comes through again with some cool extras which include an informative director's commentary, a trailer, and recent interviews with star/co-writer John Goff, actor Norm Sheridan, and director Segall. Despite some occasional imperfections (or, in my case, because of them), the picture is a joy to behold.

Many people, of course, will have no idea why this cheap little gore flick would appeal to anyone at all.  But if you're one of those to whom the very sight of the cover of DRIVE-IN MASSACRE elicits a giddy tingle of excitement, no explanation is necessary.  It's just plain fun, period.

DRIVE-IN MASSACRE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

The Amazing Tumbling Salad Bowl From "The Godfather" (1972) (video)

 

Of all the great performances in "The Godfather" (1972)...

 

...perhaps the least appreciated is that of Connie's incredible acrobatic salad bowl.

 

A tumbling run such as this would surely rate a "ten" at any dinner-table-related Olympics.

 

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. Music from the TV series "CHiPs."  I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

 

 

 

The Amazing Tumbling Salad Bowl From "The Godfather" (1972) (video)

Elmer Bernstein's Early Sci-Fi/Horror Themes: "Robot Monster" and "Cat Women of the Moon" (1953) (video)

Before scoring such classics as THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, THE GREAT ESCAPE, and THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN...

...legendary film composer Elmer Bernstein supplied the music for the notorious turkeys ROBOT MONSTER and CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Elmer Bernstein's Early Sci-Fi/Horror Themes: "Robot Monster" and "Cat Women of the Moon" (1953) (video)

FULCI FOR FAKE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/28/20


 

For an unusual filmmaker such as Lucio Fulci comes an unusual approach to a screen biography, FULCI FOR FAKE (2019), which gets points for trying something new even though the attempt isn't always a success.

Writer-director Simone Scafidi, a longtime admirer of his subject, came up with the odd conceit of placing a fictional character, that of an actor hired to play Fulci in a fictitious film about his life, in the position of interviewing actual people from Fulci's life in order to lay the groundwork for his portrayal.

Thus, when we see Fulci's daughters Camilla and Antonella along with various friends and coworkers being interviewed by Scafidi, closeups of the actor are inserted asking the questions.  We also see occasional glimpses of the actor contemplating the role as he goes about his daily business.

For me, this unique form of presentation never really gels, and I began to view the actor segments as more of an intrusion than anything else. It's a cinematic affectation that doesn't really do anything to augment the actual interview material or the film as a cohesive whole.

Still, for Fulci fans the documentary material will prove priceless, as we're treated to extensive contemplations, ruminations, and revelations about the famed Italian film maestro by those who knew and loved him best.

Daughters Camilla and Antonella give the most intimate details of their father about whom they still get visibly emotional.  More essential perspectives on Fulci as a filmmaker and as a man are supplied by the likes of close friend Sandro Bitetto, film composer Fabio Frizzi, actor Paolo Malco (NEW YORK RIPPER), cinematographer Sergio Salvati (THE BEYOND, THE WAX MASK), director Michele Soavi, writer-producer Enrico Vanzina, and official biographer Michele Romagnoli.

The film is at its best when these notable personalities are waxing nostalgic about Fulci. Where I find it most lacking is in the almost total absence of film clips. We never get to see actual examples of the scenes to which the interviewees are referring, and the only visuals besides the talking heads consist of still photos and some home movie footage.

The narrative also tends to stray from the more interesting cinematic aspects of Fulci's life into less compelling areas such as his love for horses and even such trivial things as how unruly his hair tended to be. This results in some rather dry passages that don't really add much to the film.

More pertinent to many viewers will be details such as the making of the maestro's final film, THE DOOR INTO SILENCE, and his beginning work on THE WAX MASK (which was conceived for him by friend Dario Argento) during which he died due to heart complications.

In addition to this is some fascinating coverage of Fulci's most essential works in the horror genre during the late 70s and 80s, including AENIGMA, THE DEVIL'S HONEY, and ZOMBIE 3.

Perhaps the most fulfilling parts of Severin Films' Blu-ray edition of FULCI FOR FAKE (which is in Italian with English subtitles) are contained in the generous bonus menu, which contains Camilla Fulci's entire interview along with extra interview footage with Salvati, Frizzi, Malco, Soavi, Vanzani, and Romagnoli.

We also get more of those vintage home movies (with commentary by Fulci and Romagnoli) and audio recordings by Fulci himself. Rounding out the menu is some zombie footage from the Venice Film Festival and a trailer.

Scafidi himself reveals in a bonus interview that his docudrama isn't intended to be a comprehensive biography of Lucio Fulci--the internet now exists, he says, to fill interested parties in on such details--but is more of an esoteric celebration of the essence of the man. 

This makes watching FULCI FOR FAKE a rather fruitless pursuit for the uninitiated, while those already interested in and somewhat knowledgable about the subject should find it an enriching experience.

FULCI FOR FAKE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT MYSTERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/19/14

Some movies can pretty much divide a roomful of people in half. That is, one half will sit in rapt attention while the other half flees the room in all possible haste to escape paralyzing, soul-crushing boredom.

IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT MYSTERIES (1973) is one of those movies. Many viewers will find its dry, pseudo-scholarly tone, glacial pace, and static images of crumbling ruins and desolate landscapes to be the absolute opposite of entertainment.

And yet, those who used to sit fascinated week after week by every episode of the subsequent television series "In Search Of" (1976-1982, hosted by Leonard Nimoy) will most likely be riveted to the screen from beginning to end.

The open-mindedness of this film's producers and writers--which skeptics would no doubt find excessive--is what allows host/narrator Rod "Twilight Zone" Serling to pose baffling questions about ancient civilizations and then offer theories involving alien visitors from outer space and other paranormal phenomena.

Most of the now-familiar subjects are touched upon, from the mysterious lines carved into the vast Nazca plains of Peru--which Serling supposes may have been a landing field for alien aircraft--to the gigantic etchings of people and animals seen here and in England which can only be discerned from the air. Were these created for the benefit of our ancestors from the sky?

The ruins of Inca cities and other wondrous sites such as Troy and Jericho are examined for further evidence of such visitors sharing their advanced knowledge with ancient humans. Serling, along with various scientists, historians, and other experts whose credentials may or may not be impeccable, endeavors to explain why we should suspect an alien influence shaping much of our shared history as citizens of Earth.

In a seemingly stream-of-consciousness manner, Serling whisks us from Peru to the Bermuda Triangle for a quick retelling of the famous tale of disappearing military planes, and then it's off to search for the fabled lost city of Atlantis.

Unexplained artifacts are examined as well, including human skulls that display evidence of successful brain surgery, intricately designed machines created seemingly ahead of their time, and painted or sculpted images that resemble modern-day astronauts or aircraft.

Serling follows all of this up with some NASA-related anecdotes and a tale of unexplained radio waves received from outer space, again told by guest "experts" whose reliability we must either accept or discount. More interstellar speculation wraps things up, unsurprisingly, on an inconclusive note.

The DVD from Film Chest is in full screen (4 x 3) with original mono sound. Running time is 53 minutes. No subtitles or extras. The picture quality varies between okay and "ehh" (some of the stock footage shots in particular look like somebody's home movies) but then again the "In Search Of" shows always looked like that and it never really made that much difference.

While I don't know how every diehard skeptic will react to IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT MYSTERIES, I'm pretty sure the less patient ones would rather skip it altogether. But if you've ever entertained the notion that we've been visited and indeed colonized by aliens throughout history, you may find this documentary's earnest "what if" tone to be both intriguing and fun.

IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT MYSTERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

World-Class Overacting By Richard Burton As Heathcliff In "Wuthering Heights" (1958)(video)

 

In 1958, DuPont Show Of The Month presented a live TV production of Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights."

But the world may not have been ready for a strapping young Richard Burton in the role of Heathcliff.

His extreme display of robust, mega-hammy overacting in the role is the stuff of legend...

...as seen in these mind-boggling final moments of Heathcliff's shattering despair.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

World-Class Overacting By Richard Burton As Heathcliff In "Wuthering Heights" (1958)(video)

Shocking Effects Of Marijuana On Users: "REEFER MADNESS" (1936) (video)

More vicious...more deadly...

...even than the soul-destroying drugs opium, morphine, and heroin...

...is the menace of marijuana!

The next tragedy may be that of your daughter...or your son...

...or yours...or yours...OR YOURS!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Shocking Effects Of Marijuana On Users: "REEFER MADNESS" (1936) (video)

LET ME IN -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 1/31/11

If you're a fan of the celebrated Swedish vampire flick LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, chances are you greeted the news of this remake with extreme pessimism.  My own feeling was that it would be a pale imitation rushed into production for the simple purpose of selling a copycat product to American audiences who don't like to read subtitles.  Finding out how wrong I was about this is one of the things that makes the mesmerizing LET ME IN (2010) such a pleasure to watch.

The snow-covered desolation of the New Mexico locations provides a suitable replacement for icy Sweden.  From the dramatic opening shot of a distant ambulance and two police cars screaming down a mountain road at night, we get our first hint of how interesting this film is going to look.  Matt Reeves' imaginative direction and visuals are consistently compelling, with a lushly dark color palette that's a refreshing change from the faded bluish tint of so many recent films.

After the opening flash-forward, we meet Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee), an odd, introspective little boy who lives in fear of the bullies who torment him at school.  His parents' divorce has all but made them ghosts in his life, and he yearns for a friend.  Enter Abby (Chloë Grace Moretz), a little girl who just moved into the apartment next door with her sullen father (Richard Jenkins).  Distant at first, she warms up to the smitten Owen and he finds her a sympathetic friend.  What he doesn't know is that she's also a vampire.


 

While her "father" goes about the ghastly task of procuring sustenance for her, Abby's bond with Owen grows stronger.  But when he eventually discovers her secret, their relationship becomes a strange, life-altering experience for the troubled boy.  Meanwhile, his harrassment at school reaches a potentially deadly level as a police detective (Elias Koteas) investigating a rash of violent murders in the area gradually closes in on Abby.

Director Matt Reeves (CLOVERFIELD) describes LET ME IN as a labor of love, and it shows.  His adaptation of John Ajvide Lindqvist's screenplay (Lindqvist wrote the original novel as well) sticks pretty close to it most of the time but with a number of interesting and well-considered revisions.  Everything from the first movie is reimagined in such interesting ways that I found myself looking forward to seeing how each familiar occurrence would be reinterpreted.

The scenes with Owen's dad are dropped, although a phone conversation in which the desperate boy vainly reaches out to him serves the same purpose.  While the other tenants in his apartment complex are much less developed, the tunnel attack and that horrible hospital scene with the unfortunate Virginia are no less effective.
 

 

The police detective becomes a major player in this version, especially during a crucial moment in Abby's apartment.  The circumstances surrounding the Richard Jenkins character's nightly activities on Abby's behalf have been considerably fleshed-out and come to a dramatic conclusion.  Throughout the film, things that I thought couldn't be redone as well--particularly the climactic swimming pool scene--are artfully handled.

One thing that did disappoint me about the remake is how bad some of the CGI is.  When Abby attacks a jogger in a tunnel beneath a bridge, the movements are jerky and unconvincing.  Later glimpses of a CGI-Abby figure in action are similarly jarring.  Fortunately, though, a reprise of the original film's infamous "cat scene" isn't even attempted.

The juvenile leads are amazingly good.  Both Kodi Smit-McPhee as Owen and Chloë Grace Moretz as Abby have haunting, expressive faces that convey deep feeling.  This isn't just child acting by imitation or rote--they give mature, fully-realized performances.  (Moretz is pretty creepy in her vamp-out makeup, too.)  Also noteworthy is Dylan Minnette as Kenny, the embodiment of the vile schoolyard bully.


 

As Abby's mysterious "father", Richard Jenkins displays his knack for portraying a deeply tragic figure with quiet subtlety.  Elias Koteas is equally good as the police detective, in whom we sense an innate humanity that makes it hard not to root for him.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a director commentary, "From the Inside: A Look at the Making of 'Let Me In'", "The Art of Special Effects", "Car Crash Sequence: Step-By-Step", some interesting deleted scenes (including how Abby became a vampire), green and red-band trailers, and a poster/stills gallery.  Also enclosed is a mini-comic book, "Let Me In: Crossroads", which is #1 in a four-part prelude to the film from Dark Horse Comics.

There's a fascination to watching a remake that's so good that it doesn't constantly draw unfavorable comparisons to the first film.  Dark and richly atmospheric, LET ME IN never feels like an imitation, nor does it self-consciously try to be different.  It's a remake that feels like an original.

LET ME IN -- DVD Review by Porfle

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 3/7/09

 

One of the topic titles on the IMDb forum for this movie dismisses it as "FRIGHT NIGHT + MY GIRL." Which, superficially, is a fairly accurate way to describe the Swedish film LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, aka Låt den rätte komma in (2008). It isn't strictly a horror film, although it's filled with horrific elements, nor does it try to be particularly scary even though certain moments are rather chilling. What makes it so affecting is the way it explores a visual and emotional territory that your typical horror flick rarely bothers with.

Oskar (Kåre Hedebrant) is a troubled 12-year-old boy who is terrorized daily by bullies at school and spends most nights in an empty apartment while his mother works. Preoccupied with sensational newspaper stories of murder and mayhem, he fantasizes about slashing his schoolyard tormentors with the knife he carries about. One night, an older man and a little girl move into the apartment next door. As Oskar and Eli (Lina Leandersson) gradually get to know each other during their nightly encounters in the snow-covered courtyard of the building, he's glad to find that she is also lonely and troubled, and their friendship grows. But there's something very mysterious and strange about her.

People in the area start to turn up violently murdered, and we find that Eli's guardian, Håkan (Per Ragnar), is killing them and collecting their blood in large containers. When he's captured by the police, Eli is forced to go on the prowl herself, and as we see her attacking and killing people with little effort, it becomes clear that she is, in fact, a vampire. As Oskar realizes this, his initial reticence is overcome by his feelings for her, and in turn she begins to help him gain the confidence he needs to fight back against his cruel schoolmates. But as their hostility toward him reaches lethal proportions, Eli's secret is discovered and she must flee just when Oskar needs her help the most.

When I started watching what the Washington Examiner calls the "Best. Vampire Movie. Ever" (I wouldn't go quite that far), I had no idea that it was going to be a sensitive, contemplative love story filled with moments of haunting beauty. Oskar is so alone--his parents are divorced so he rarely sees his father, and none of the adults in his life can help him anyway--that we can feel the enormously uplifting effect Eli has on him. And being that Eli is even more alone in the world, the fact that she has a friend her own physical age (we never know how old she really is), who comes to accept her for what she is, gives some meaning to her useless life.

At times we see them merely lying together, holding hands--this simple contact makes each feel more substantial and alive. In a deleted scene, Oskar playfully hisses at her and she hisses back at him, gently mocking the image of the traditional screen vampire. Even the fact that Eli isn't quite what she appears to be ("I'm not a girl," she cryptically tells him at one point) ultimately doesn't matter to Oskar.

In a way, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN is almost like a blood-drenched version of those somber made-for-TV children's films I used to watch when I was growing up, about two lonely misfits who find each other. In those films, the story was about two kids, or a kid and a dog, or a kid and a cat, or a kid and an understanding old person. Here, it's about a human kid and a vampire, but the slow, thoughtful story development and heartfelt empathy for the lead characters are the same. And within this framework, the matter-of-fact way that the shocking horrors are presented makes them all the more unsettling.

Eli's guardian, Håkan (is he her father, or an older version of Oskar?), prepares for his night's work as though he's going to any other routine job, calmly abducting people off the street and hanging them upside-down to drain their blood. His eventual fate is suitably grim, leaving Eli to fend for herself in a series of violent nocturnal attacks. Virginia (Ika Nord), a woman in Oskar's building who survives an encounter with Eli, enters the apartment of a cat-loving friend and is viciously mauled by his enraged felines, then later deals with the problem of her impending vampirism in a spectacular manner.

Tomas Alfredson, who has directed this film with impressive skill and restraint, saves the best for last in the climactic sequence. In a placid and almost silent underwater environment, we suddenly witness several violent killings without actually seeing them, in a shot that's so cleverly conceived that it comes as a delightful surprise. I had to watch it two or three times before I could get over what a visually imaginative piece of storytelling it is. (The behind-the-scenes featurette shows the filming of this shot in detail.) There are other interesting touches throughout the film, such as a glimpse of Eli climbing up the side of a building in the far background, or the pivotal scene in which Oskar, torn between feelings of love and loathing, demands to know what will happen to Eli if she enters his apartment without being invited. I also like the way Alfredson often slowly moves his camera around until something unexpected enters the frame.

The adult actors are all good but it's the juvenile leads who carry the film. As Oskar and Eli, Kåre Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson couldn't be better as each gives a performance that is complex and moving. The film itself has the cold, icy look of a Swedish winter but is warmed by their affection and concern for one another. Every aspect of the production is similarly well-done. I've never read John Ajvide Lindqvist's novel, but his screenplay adaptation is fine. As for the ending, I'm still wondering whether or not it's a happy one (Alfredson contends that it is). It's definitely thought-provoking.

The DVD from Magnolia Home Entertainment is 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound, both of which are good, and the soundtrack comes in the original Swedish or an English dub with subtitles. Bonus features include four deleted scenes, a "making of" featurette, a photo gallery, and a theatrical poster gallery. There are also trailers for this and other features in the Six Shooter Film Series.

Viewers looking for a fast-moving succession of shocks and visceral thrills will likely be disappointed in LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. But most people who can appreciate extremely compelling filmmaking--even those who may have trouble getting past the fact that it's a "vampire" movie--will be glad that they let this one in. The most famous screen vampire, Bela Lugosi's DRACULA, unknowingly gave this worthy successor a fitting recommendation way back in 1931: "Listen to them...children of the night. What music they make."


Read our review of the remake LET ME IN

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN -- DVD Review by Porfle

The Spoken Words That Caused A Sensation In "The Jazz Singer" (1927)(video)

 

When Warner Brothers made "The Jazz Singer" in 1927, it was a silent film like the others of its era.

Except that the songs performed by star Al Jolson would be done using their new Vitaphone sound process.

But it wasn't hearing the songs that astounded audiences at the time.
It was the spoken patter ad-libbed by Jolson between the songs. 

Later in the film, when Jolson's character entertains his adoring mother...
...his off-the-cuff remarks during the songs charmed and delighted viewers, making them want more. 

The first all-spoken film was yet to come. But because of Jolson's chatty ad-libs...

..."The Jazz Singer" is still often regarded as the first "talkie."

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

(Read our review of THE JAZZ SINGER)

The Spoken Words That Caused A Sensation In "The Jazz Singer" (1927)(video)

Amazing World-Class Bad Acting! ("BLOOD FEAST", 1963) (video)

 

Herschell Gordon Lewis' "Blood Feast" was the first major "gore" film.

Although Bill Kerwin is the only decent actor...

...the other actors are encouraged to emote wildly.

Thus giving us some truly, impressively bad performances...

...including that of Playboy Playmate of the Month (June 1963) Connie Mason.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Amazing World-Class Bad Acting! ("BLOOD FEAST", 1963) (video)

DRAGNET (1954) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(Originally posted on 7/1/21)

 

 

Currently re-watching: DRAGNET (1954), the feature-length theatrical version of the classic 1950s TV series in its original incarnation.

It's all the stuff I love about the TV show, but grittier and more hardboiled and violent. (A dark-haired Dub Taylor gets two blasts from a double-barrelled shotgun in the first scene! "They killed him twice," Joe Friday remarks later.) There's a very downbeat, melancholy ending too.

Jack Webb stars as the iconic Sgt. Joe Friday, a dedicated, no-nonsense cop who's still fairly young yet made prematurely sober and even somewhat cynical by his experiences. Ben Alexander is Friday's dependable partner and friend, Frank Smith. 

 

 

In addition to his beautifully measured performance, I love the way Webb's often innovative direction combines some imaginative touches with extreme economy and a briskly efficient shooting style.

As usual, dialogue delivery is very terse. I wonder if the actors are reading their lines from cue cards and/or teleprompters (did they have those then?) as they did on the TV series, or if the longer schedule gave them time to actually memorize their lines. (I suspect the former.)

Ann Robinson (WAR OF THE WORLDS) plays an undercover police woman and Richard Boone is the captain in charge of the case. The movie also features Virginia Gregg, Dennis Weaver, Vic Perrin (the "Outer Limits" control voice), Olan Soule, James Griffith, and Virginia Christine.

Friday is tougher and more doggedly relentless than ever as he and Frank try to wear down an arrogant, seemingly untouchable suspect (Stacy Harris as "Max Troy") and pin the murder on him and his thug cohorts. 

 

 

One scene even erupts in a rare fistfight that's full of action and leaves the two detectives bandaged and bloodied.

Friday gets his usual allotment of sharply-delivered cutdowns, telling one punk "Unless you're growing, sit down!" and countering an insult against his mother with "I'll bet your mother had a loud bark."

DRAGNET the movie is as sharply-folded and tightly-wound as the TV series, yet somehow there's just more of everything and it all has an irresistible noirish quality that blends in a very satisfying way with the show's inherent realism.

And as the laconic Joe Friday, lanky in his rumpled suit and observing it all from beneath the wide brim of his fedora, Jack Webb is better than ever.

 

DRAGNET (1954) -- Movie Review by Porfle

QUANTUM OF SOLACE -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/4/16

 

First things first--much of the editing in QUANTUM OF SOLACE (2008) is horrible.  I mean, it's shockingly bad.  Sometimes damn near incomprehensible, in fact.

If you're going to stage elaborate and expensive action setpieces, you don't chop the footage into confetti and blast it at the audience with a salad shooter.  Imagine the best scenes in CASINO ROYALE done in this style.  It would've been a jumbled mess, too, instead of a generally recognized success.

I'd love to see the raw footage of this film given over to someone who knows what to do with it. Imagine it in the hands of original Bond editor Peter Hunt, who helped create the series' style.

 

Fun stuff like Bond's womanizing and sexual innuendos have been toned down.  (At the time I feared this was because everyone was afraid of offending Barbara Broccoli.) He doesn't even score with the main "Bond girl" of the film, Camille, well played by Olga Kurylenko ("Magic City") as an emotionally-damaged survivor out for revenge.

Bond does have a quick fling with MI6 field agent Miss Fields (Gemma Arterton, THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED).  We never learn her first name, but being that she's a redhead and this is a Bond film, it isn't hard to imagine. 

At any rate, subsequent viewings of QUANTUM OF SOLACE, during which I no longer have to spend all my time figuring out what's going on, have caused me to grow increasingly fond of it.

 

Not only is there a whole lot of action, but the continuation of the previous film's storyline relating to Vesper Lind and the mysterious "Quantum" organization is quite satisfying to me, as is its resolution, which is like something right out of a bonafide spy thriller. (Shades of DR. NO and FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.)

Some sequences, such as the airplane setpiece, the various hotel scenes, and the explosive desert finale, are quite well done.  There's a nice scene between Bond and his CIA friend Felix Leiter (Jeffrey Wright) in a seedy bar, and a reunion with Mathis (Giancarlo Giannini, HANNIBAL) from CASINO ROYALE which is sublime.

We get what may be the first "breaking the fourth wall" moment in an Eon Bond film [not counting the one in the pre-titles sequence for ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE] when 007 is pulled over by Bolivian cops and ordered to open his trunk.  Bond glances right at us for half a tick and mutters aloud, "Now why would he want me to do that?"

 

The evil megalomaniac Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric) isn't the best Bond bad guy of all time, but this neurotic, narcissistic flake isn't the worst either. And his scheme to control all the precious water rights in an entire South American country is plausible enough, even if it isn't all that exciting.  (It's just a McGuffin anyway.)
    
Plus, we finally get to see what all the hostility between Bond and M (Judi Dench) has been leading up to.  With her faith in everyone else around her eroding, and the supposed good guys making Faustian deals with the bad guys left and right (this is the most politically pessimistic of all the Bond films), M realizes that Bond is the one person she can depend on because he's the only one who doggedly insists on actually trying to do the right thing.

"He's my agent," she tells her aide Tanner, "and I trust him."  And Bond proves that he's been worthy of this trust all along. It's a cathartic moment, one of the most important of the entire Daniel Craig era.

But best of all...we finally get to see the return of NUDE SILHOUETTE BABES in the title sequence!

Not all that crazy about the theme song, though.  Here's one I came up with, which I think is much more Bond-like:

GREENE FINGER (to the tune of "Goldfinger" by John Barry, Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley)

Greene Finger
He's the man, the man with Polanski's puss
An evil wuss

Thus, a mean finger
Buying up, the stuff that's worth more than gold
His water's cold

H2O he will pour up your nose
And no telling what else, I suppose
For an oily girl, knows when he's dipped her
It's the dip of death, from mister

Greene Finger
Beckons you to jump in his lake of sin
But don't dive in

Stay away from his desert abode
If you go there, you just might explode
When he catches you, trying to sneak out
He will grab an axe, and freak out

Greene Finger
Pretty girls, you're not what excites him so
It's H2O

He loves H2O, H2O
He loves H2O, H2O
H2 OOOOOOOOOOOOOH

QUANTUM OF SOLACE -- Movie Review by Porfle

JAMES BOND: Breaking the Fourth Wall (video)

Sure, he's always shooting at us through that gun barrel. 

But how many times has James Bond really broken the 4th wall and acknowledged our presence? And maybe even talked to us?

I count three, and here they are... 

 

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

JAMES BOND: Breaking the Fourth Wall (video)

James Bond's "Man With The Golden Gun" Corkscrew Car Jump With NO Slide Whistle! (video)

 

 

The Roger Moore "James Bond" era played fast and loose with 007's serious image...

...even during some of its best and most impressive stunts.

A key example is the infamous corkscrew car jump from "The Man With The Golden Gun", which, although thrilling on its own, is ruined by a cartoony slide-whistle sound effect.

But what if, instead of that silly whistle, we got to hear the fabulous James Bond theme in all of its glory?

As we can see and hear in this video, it makes quite a difference.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for listening!

 

James Bond's "Man With The Golden Gun" Corkscrew Car Jump With NO Slide Whistle! (video)

Bond Girl Falls Flat in "THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN" (1974) (video)

Britt Eklund signed on to the ninth Bond picture as a featured actress, not a stuntwoman.

Yet during the traditional "exploding of the bad guy's base" finale...

...she takes a rather impressive (and unscripted) header.

And Bond comes tumbling after.

Flat on their coup de grâce!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Bond Girl Falls Flat in "THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN" (1974) (video)

Why "OCTOPUSSY" Is The WORST James Bond Movie (video)

There are more reasons why OCTOPUSSY is the worst James Bond movie ever, but these are the most egregious. 

Gags, gags, and more gags--all of them bad.

And culminating in our having to see James Bond 007 not only reduced to wearing a gorilla suit, but to being literally turned into a clown.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Why "OCTOPUSSY" Is The WORST James Bond Movie (video)

"What'd He Say?": A Great 3 Stooges Running Gag (video)

When somebody mumbles something hard to understand...

...Moe asks one of the other Stooges "What'd he say?"

...and the Stooge responds by imitating the mumble exactly. (ThreeStooges.net)


"Hold That Lion" (1947) Footage later reused in "Loose Loot" (1953)
"Jerks Of All Trades" (TV, 1949)
"Scrambled Brains" (1951)
"Outer Space Jitters" (1957)


I don't own or claim any rights to any of these materials--just having a little fun with them. Thanks for watching!

"What'd He Say?": A Great 3 Stooges Running Gag (video)