THE BARRENS -- DVD review by porfle

Is it a supernatural horror film?  Or is writer-director Darren Lynn Bousman (SAW II-IV) pulling the old dipsy-doodle on us by making us think it is and then rationally explaining everything at the last minute? 

That's what you may be trying to decide while watching THE BARRENS (2012), which has all the ingredients of a supernatural horror film but tries out a different recipe than usual.  It begins with your standard "couple stalked and killed in the woods by an unseen beast" pre-titles sequence--could be a bear, or, as the title graphics suggest, it could be...the Jersey Devil. 

Well, as soon as we cut to the Vineyard family getting ready to go on a camping trip, we pretty much know that they're going to find out for themselves one way or another before this thing's over.  Richard (Stephen Moyer, "True Blood") is one of those dads who wants his kids to experience the joys of camping whether they like it or not because, damn it, he and his dad had such a great time when he was a kid.
 
His wife Cynthia, one of those eager stepmoms still trying to win over her new husband's kids, is played by Mia Kirshner, and it's funny seeing her in this kind of role since I still think of her as the teenage bad girl in the unjustly-maligned NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE.  She does a fine job, though--her emoting later on in the movie is very good as is that of co-star Moyer.

Peter DaCunha plays Danny, a whimpery little boy still pining over his missing dog Oscar, and Allie MacDonald (HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET) is teen daughter Sadie, who really, really doesn't want to go camping.  Maybe it's my age showing, but I'm starting to really hate the snotty teenage characters in these movies who don't want to go on the family camping trip.

Then again, considering how high-strung Dad turns out to be, I think I'd opt to stay home myself.  For some reason, and we suspect it has something to do with what happened when he was a kid, Richard starts to freak out as soon as they enter the park area and find themselves elbow-to-elbow with a bunch of other campers, including some horny young boys who take an interest in Sadie.  By the time he makes the family trudge miles deeper into the woods looking for a more secluded campsite, he's starting to get scarier than whatever's lurking around out there.

What's wrong with Dad?  Does he really think that the Jersey Devil's out there in the woods and is coming to get them?  Or is there something even more sinister going on in his rapidly-deteriorating mind?  There are some teasing glimpses of a misshapen monster (along with some pretty nice cinematography, especially in scenes of a fog-shrouded forest) but we never know if they're real or just images in Richard's fevered imagination. 

The suspense begins to build when his mental state makes him a clear and present danger to everyone in his family, as much or more so in his own way than Jack Torrence in THE SHINING.  And director Bousman does manage to ratchet up the tension as his film builds inexorably to its very dramatic (and startlingly abrupt) conclusion.  By now, I wasn't sure if I wanted a supernatural basis for what was going on or not--it would certainly work that way, yet, unlike in Tod Browning's MARK OF THE VAMPIRE, a rational explanation wouldn't seem like so much of a cheat in this case because it would be bizarre enough in itself. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Bonus features consist of a commentary track with director Bousman and director of photography Joseph White, and a deleted ending (added for the overseas version) that clears up much of what is left hanging in the original cut.

Real or fake?  You'll be wondering this about the Jersey Devil up until the final frames of THE BARRENS, a fairly entertaining little horror flick that held my interest despite being a rather unpleasant experience.  One thing's for sure--there is a monster in the film, but you'll have to see for yourself if it's a winged, mythical beast, or just dear ol' Dad.


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THE BARRENS -- DVD review by porfle

HOLLISTON: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

For their very first original series, cable horror channel FEARnet has enlisted writer-director-star Adam Green (HATCHET) to come up with--a sitcom.  But it isn't just any old sitcom, because "Holliston" (named after a small town in Massachusetts) is a surrealistic, irreverent romantic comedy with graphic horror elements and non-stop references to just about everything.  In other words, it plays pretty much like a live-action Adult Swim cartoon. 

Image Entertainment's 2-disc DVD set HOLLISTON: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON brings us the first six episodes of the series.  The droll, deadpan Green and his partner in slime, Joe Lynch (WRONG TURN 2), play Adam and Joe, roommates who work at the local cable access company making commercials and hosting a horror movie show called "The Movie Crypt."  In their spare time, they're also trying to launch an independent horror feature called "Shin Guards" (about a zombie soccer team from Mexico) by piecing together a mock trailer. 

While the show strives to "break the mold" and "twist the rules" of the traditional sitcom (lots of fourth-wall breaking, self-references, etc.), it's pretty similar to all the other sitcoms over the years that have done exactly the same thing.  Still, despite the fact that there are very few genuine laughs to be had in all of Adam and Joe's raucous hijinks, the fast-moving show has a certain freshness and, yes, "quirky" quality that I found enjoyable in its own cartoonish way and appealing on a basic fanboy level. 

I could do without the heavy metal aspects, complete with ear-splitting transition music--not all horror fans like that stuff, and, in fact, some of us can't stand it--although this does give us Twisted Sister's Dee Snider in a funny turn as station owner Lance Rockett, who is also the long-in-the-tooth lead singer for a Van Halen cover band called "Diver Down."  Snider (who, admittedly, looks like "my grandmother in her coffin") is a hoot in the role, as his swaggering macho mannerisms sometimes set off Adam and Joe's "gaydar" in unexpected ways.  (Rob Zombie stock player Bill Moseley also turns up a couple of times as local business owner Crazy Max.)

The boys themselves are super geeks--their apartment overflows with monster figures and toys while they agonize over which of their old VHS horror movies to burn onto DVD--making them instantly identifiable to a lot of us viewers.  Much ado is made of their romantic problems, especially those of lovesick loser Adam and his unrequited obsession with high school sweetheart Corri (Corri English, who reminds me of Britney Spears), which yields its share of mildly funny comic complications.  Joe's perky but not-so-bright Colombian girlfriend Laura is portrayed by the incredibly cute and funny Laura Ortiz (CHILLERAMA), who plays "ditzy" like a virtuoso and rocks a pair of knee-high Chuck Taylors. 

You never know what kind of graphic violence is going to befall Adam and Joe via dreams and fantasy sequences (after all, this is FEARnet), including a sudden SCANNERS-style head explosion, a POLTERGEIST-inspired face shredding, and, most impressive of all considering the show's modest SPFX budget, a RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK triple head melt.  Green gets hacked in bed by his own creation, the hideous killer from HATCHET, and skewered by Ghostface from SCREAM.  One episode ends with the entire cast being machine-gunned to death in a hail of CGI bullet hits. 

The stories are a mix of the bizarre with generous helpings of standard sitcom-style situations.  The pilot episode, "The Hooker", is practically a romp through rom-com territory with Adam trying to make Corri jealous by hiring a skanky hooker to pose as his girlfriend.  Some fantasy is supplied by Adam's imaginary friend, GWAR's Oderus Urungus (Dave Brockie), who lives in his closet and dispenses not-so-sage advice while only managing to be occasionally funny. 

"Camera Rental" features a bland plotline about the boys renting out one of the cable company's expensive cameras for the weekend and then sweating over its return, while the girls liven things up by renting an extremely haunted apartment from guest star Ray Wise (CHILLERAMA, "Twin Peaks").  "Skunked" finds Adam and Joe sharing a bathtub after getting sprayed by the title critter, while Corri and Laura attempt to purchase large amounts of vinegar to counteract the odor but eventually must settle for fifteen boxes of douche and end up getting arrested for their trouble.

The great Tony Todd lends his considerable presence to "Candyman" as he moves in with Adam and Joe and then moves in on Corri, overstaying his welcome to the extreme while the boys try to think of a way to tell the overbearing actor to get lost.  In "Laura's Little Twitter", a cutely amusing subplot about accidental "cameltoe" in Laura's Twitter pic gives way to a welcome guest appearance by Seth Green as a schizophrenic SPFX expert who agrees to do the effects for the "Shin Pads" trailer for free.  Which is great until his alternate personality unexpectedly surfaces and goes nuts. 

Season finale "Weekend of Horrors" begins with that triple face melt after which the gang attend a horror convention and encounter Kane Hodder, Danielle Harris, and John Landis.  The latter is presented with a disc of Adam and Joe's "Shin Pads" trailer after they break into his autograph line pretending to be disabled.  

The high point for me is when Hodder decks Joe with one punch for a joke that Joe told about him earlier back at the apartment.  I also welcome any opportunity to see Danielle Harris, especially when she mentions the words "Last Boy Scout."  Meanwhile, scriptwriter Green makes the most of this opportunity to vividly illustrate the kind of unsavory convention fans he has encountered in real life.

The 2-disc DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles or closed-captioning.  Bonus features include cast commentaries, deleted and alternate scenes, bloopers, and several behind-the-scenes featurettes.  (Also available in a 1-disc Blu-Ray edition.)

While seldom as funny as it thinks it is, HOLLISTON: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON gets by on its sheer enthusiasm and likability (and Laura Ortiz).  I can take it or leave it, but it isn't hard to take at all. 



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HOLLISTON: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

GABRIEL -- movie review by porfle

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2007.)


According to the somber 2007 Australian film GABRIEL, Purgatory is an actual city inhabited by lost souls for which Heaven and Hell fight for possession.  The angels that are sent into battle by each side--seven archangels (or "arc" angels as they're called in the film) from Heaven and seven fallen angels from Hell--must become human although they still retain healing powers and certain other supernatural abilities. 

When the seventh arc angel Gabriel arrives, he finds that evil has taken over the city under the leadership of the dreaded Sammael, and that the other arc angels are either dead, missing, or eking out the rest of their miserable lives in defeat. 

Gabriel tracks down the surviving arc angels, including the lovely Amitiel (Samantha Noble), now working as a drug-addicted prostitute named Jade in a brothel run by Sammael's narcissistic cohort Asmodeus (Michael Piccirilli). But the most powerful of their number, Michael, is MIA.

The rest of the ragtag remnants of the arc angels include Uriel (Harry Pavlidis), now an alcoholic who lives in a wrecked bus in an abandoned drive-in theater, and Ithuriel (Matt Hylton Todd), who runs a soup kitchen while tending to the gravely-wounded Raphael (Jack Campbell) in an underground hideout beneath it.

Among Sammael's forces are Ahriman (Kevin Copeland), a brawny black guy with long blonde dreads; the loathesome Balan (Brendan Clearkin); and a bloodthirsty dominatrix named Lilith (Erika Heynatz), who resembles a really scary Jean Kasem. 

Most of the "angels" in GABRIEL aren't all that different from the warrior vampires in UNDERWORLD (the two films share a similiar look as well).  They all dress like Goths, carry firearms, and engage in a lot of quick-cut, slo-mo fights. 

Purgatory itself is a bit like the title location of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK with a little BLADE RUNNER and SIN CITY thrown in.  Many of the visuals, from bleak derelict interiors to moody nocturnal landscapes with dark clouds rolling overhead, are richly atmospheric. 

As the brooding, melancholy Gabriel, relative newcomer Andy Whitfield does a good job with the dramatic scenes while capably handling the shoot-em-up stuff as well.  Samantha Noble is an effectively forlorn presence as the pale, haunted Amitiel. 

Unfortunately, Dwaine Stevenson's Sammael isn't nearly as frightening and intimidating as intended.  Stevenson does his best with the cliche-ridden role, with the usual sinister scowls and fake-iris leers, but his not-quite-shoulder-length black hair and pinched expressions cause him at times to resemble a deranged Courtney Cox in the midst of a Hulk-out.

Some of the action scenes are quick and to the point--Gabriel breaks down a door and POW! POW! the bad guys are dead--while others, like the extended Gabriel-Sammael showdown, are a bit overlong and not that sharply choreographed.  My favorite is the imaginatively-staged shootout which takes place in total darkness, with strobe-like gun flashes providing the only illumination. 

 Gabriel's fight with Asmodeus within his own brothel is also fun, although some of the speed-up slow-down effects come off as a bit dopey-looking.  The dramatic scenes in between the bang-bang stuff occasionally tend to drag a bit, but not to the point of actual boredom.

What impressed me the most about this movie came afterward, when I found out that it was done on a tiny budget of only $150,000 dollars.  (This isn't taking into account the fact that everyone's paychecks were deferred, but still...)  With that in mind, it's amazingly well-done, capable of standing alongside similar efforts with much higher budgets. 

If it performs well, first-time director and co-writer Shane Abbess plans to make this the first episode of a trilogy, which I wouldn't mind checking out.  The story of GABRIEL does have a satisfying stand-alone resolution, but it's a downer and leaves much room for further exploration.


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GABRIEL -- movie review by porfle

GHOST HUNTERS: SEASON SEVEN PART 2 -- DVD review by porfle

"I've just been goosed by a ghost!"

No, that isn't a quote from an Abbott and Costello movie.  It's one of the paranormal highpoints of Image Entertainment's 4-disc DVD set GHOST HUNTERS: SEASON SEVEN PART 2. 

As always, the SyFy Channel series "Ghost Hunters" follows the ectoplasmic exploits of The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS), whose founders Jason Hewes and Grant Wilson are Roto-Rooter plumbers by day and seekers of the supernatural by night. 

As they explain it, they want to help those who call on their services by getting to the bottom of whatever hauntings they're experiencing by either communicating with the spirits or debunking them.  (The fact that they expose so many sightings as natural occurrences and/or simple misperceptions seems to enhance their credibility, at least as far as I'm concerned.)

Some of the episodes in this set begin with the familiar dramatizations of Jason and Grant grimly struggling to fix someone's toilet when they get a call from TAPS case manager Amy Bruni, informing them of their next assignment.  Then it's off in their SUV caravan to the ghost-plagued location with the rest of the team, which includes tech guy Steve (who's in charge of all the equipment such as monitoring cameras, electromagnetic field and heat-seeking devices, spectral voice detectors, ion generators, etc.) and team members Amy, Dave, Adam, Britt, and sometimes K.J.  Maddie the dog returns but does little this time besides look cute and growl at a few things that aren't there.

I don't know why I enjoy watching this stuff so much, but somehow I just like hanging out with these guys on their investigations.  I do seem to be getting kind of used to the show by now, though.  "Lights out" isn't as scary as it used to be--guess I'm getting used to seeing them creeping around in these old buildings with the night-vision camera making them all ghostly white.  And all the disembodied footsteps, knocks, and other noises begin to take on a numbing sameness after awhile.  Even the TAPS gang don't get as giddy and freaked-out by this stuff as they used to.

But just when I think I'm immune to it, "Ghost Hunters" gives me the creeps in spite of myself.  Usually it isn't because of any one major scare, but just an accumulation of subtle events that are unsettlingly spooky.  Although every once in a while, the guys will visit a location--usually some hellish old prison or mental institution, or the site of a major tragedy--in which the haunting goes beyond some benign residual presence and ventures into the truly bizarre and frightening. 

"Dark Shadows" features the Seaview Terrace in Newport, Rhode Island, where exteriors for the famous horror soap-opera were filmed.  "Ghostly Evidence" takes place in a Lizzie Borden-type setting in Massachusetts, with both a solid debunking and some rather convincing visual evidence caught on camera.  In "Ghosts of Carnegie", the team experience several unexplained noises and voices in the Carnegie Library in Pennsylvania, followed by a disappointing night in a haunted police station that yields more debunkings than ghosts.

Yet more debunkings highlight "Harvesting Murder", both on a Hawaiian sugar plantation and in a Massachusetts mansion where the scariest occurrence is when Steve gets dive-bombed by a bat.  "Well of Horror" doesn't live up to such a promising title, and is notable mainly for the first appearance of Jason's daughter Haily as a sometime apprentice member of the team.

"Roasts and Ghosts" takes place at New York's famed Friar's Club, where the ghost of a comedian who died in the Frank Sinatra room still seems to be wandering the hallways.  A theater near Niagra Falls is home to a tragic female spirit in "Stage Fright", a spooky one in which the team experience all sorts of strange phenomena.  In another eerie episode, "Murdered Matron", a sailors' retirement home in Staten Island is supposedly haunted by the ghost of a woman killed by her developmentally-challenged son whom she'd been keeping chained up in the basement until his escape.  Guest ghost-hunter Meredith Viera joins the team on this very eventful case.

The huge, crumbling Missouri State Penitentiary is the site of "The Bloodiest 47 Acres", which sounds scary but is notable mainly for giving us (and some creeped-out TAPS members) a firsthand look at what it's like to sit in a darkened gas chamber and a dungeon still heavy with the aura of suffering and death.  "Distillery of Spirits" lightens things up as we tour a Kentucky bourbon distillery benignly haunted by its former owner, who may or may not be the spirit responsible for giving that ghostly goose to both Jason and Grant at the same time in different locations!

"Membership Denied" tells of an Elks' Club building where a deceased member doesn't seem to approve of the new rule allowing women to join.  "Christmas Spirit" takes us to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania for the show's season ender, in which a sad little boy haunts one inn while a seemingly happy and playful little girl lingers in another.  One of the show's best pieces of visual evidence occurs when the dark figure of a little girl appears to be captured by one of the team's cameras. 

My favorite episode of the season, "Voices of Pain", takes the team back for a third visit to the Waverly Hills Sanitorium in Kentucky, voted in a viewer poll as the show's "Scariest Location" thus far.  The rambling compound of dark, decaying buildings, where 60,000 (!) inmates are said to have died over the years, doesn't disappoint, yielding a wealth of shadows, dark figures, loud knocks and other noises, and some eerily distinct disembodied voices that seem to be conversing amongst themselves.  This, to me, is "Ghost Hunters" at its best, the kind of spine-tingling foray into the unknown that makes me hesitant to watch the show after sundown. 

The 4-disc set from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby stereo sound.  No subtitles or closed-captioning.  Discs 1-3 contain the set's 13 episodes, while disc 4 is loaded with deleted scenes.

Even if you don't believe in the supernatural, it's still unsettling to watch these guys creep around such spooky locations in the dark of night, reacting to various sudden noises and movements with their familiar startled cry of "Wuh-wuh-ZAT?"  (Or its variant, "HELL-wuh-zat?")  And if you do believe, it's enough to have you sleeping with the lights on.  While GHOST HUNTERS: SEASON SEVEN PART 2 isn't quite as consistently blood-curdling as some other sets in the series, fans should still get a nice ghostly goose out if it.


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GHOST HUNTERS: SEASON SEVEN PART 2 -- DVD review by porfle

MAGIC CITY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

Like a tipsy drunk trying to pass a sobriety test, Starz' "Magic City" walks a fine line between Martin Scorcese toughness (think "Casino" Lite) and the kind of melodramatic behind-the-scenes industrial procedural that Arthur Hailey used to excel in (a la "Hotel").  In Anchor Bay's 3-disc DVD set MAGIC CITY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON, the result is a crime drama-soap opera combo that's sporadically entertaining but not quite involving or convincing enough to keep us glued to the screen.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan stars as Ike Evans, the stern-but-fair head honcho of Miami Beach's biggest, swankiest resort hotel, the Miramar Playa, as 1958 draws to a close.  Ike's a family man with two grown sons--Stevie (Steven Strait), a chip off the old block, and Danny (Christian Cooke), an aspiring lawyer who wants to work in the state D.A.'s office.  Trouble is, the state D.A., Jack Klein (Matt Ross), is doing everything he can to nail Ike to get to his silent partner, a Chicago mobster named Ben Diamond (Danny Huston).

Huston does his best to make Diamond a silkily sinister mob figure but he's most effective when he isn't exploding in petulant outbursts of anger (the casual shooting of his wife's noisy dog during a phone call is his most unsettling moment).  Ike, a basically decent man, has made a deal with this devil to keep his hotel afloat and must accept all the not-so-decent stuff that goes with it, including the mysterious death of union organizer Mike Strauss (the ubiquitous Leland Orser) who threatened to picket the hotel during Frank Sinatra's New Year's Eve show. 

The hotel's most popular escort girl, Judi Silver (Elena Satine), is D.A. Klein's main link between Ross' death and the hotel, making her much sought-after by both Klein and Diamond.  This storyline, in addition to several increasingly hostile showdowns between Klein and Ike and an escalation of the violence by Diamond and his gang, gives "Magic City" its edgiest moments.  Even at its darkest, though, the series is too soft-edged and refined to deliver the heart-palpitating rawness of a Scorcese thriller or the subdued intensity of THE GODFATHER PART II (which it resembles at times in its look and musical score).

As Ike Evans' new wife Vera, the beautiful Olga Kurylenko is a much more charismatic and likable presence than she was in QUANTUM OF SOLACE, escorting us through some of "Magic City"'s more soap-opera-level subplots.  These include Vera's attempts to replace Ike's first wife as "Mom" in the eyes of his young daughter Lauren (Taylor Blackwell) and her desire to have children of her own--the latter leading to one of the show's most unnecessary sequences as Vera seeks supernatural help from a Santeria priest who ceremonially sacrifices a chicken to increase her fertility. 

On a less fanciful level, Vera's other dramatic concerns include trying to snare Jackie Kennedy as a special banquet guest and trying to talk Ike's father Arthur (THE GODFATHER's "Moe Green" Alex Rocco in a thankless role) into attending Lauren's bat-mitzvah despite his dogged aversion to religion.  We also see a spark of interest (on his part, anyway) between her and a former lover, a TV director overseeing a broadcast from the hotel, in a "will they? won't they?" situation that I'm hoping will be a dead-end.

The rest of the time Kurylenko serves as part of the show's seemingly endless supply of eye candy as she and Morgan function as one of several very active sexual couples whom we observe going at it like rabbits on a regular basis.  Another of these is son Stevie and his extremely ill-chosen sex partner, Ben Diamond's gorgeous wife Lily (Jessica Marais), as they go at it in a variety of locations including a public dressing room. 

Stevie's prediliction for photographing the two of them together with his Polaroid leads to a blackmail situation when the photos are stolen by a cat burglar working the hotel, in yet another subplot that does little for the show besides fill time between more important and interesting events.  Ditto for brother Danny's romance with pretty hotel maid Mercedes (Dominik García-Lorido), daughter of Ike's general manager Victor (Yul Vazquez), who is desperately trying to get his wife out of Cuba after the fall of Batista. 

During all of this, we actually get to see Ike trying to keep the hotel solvent by hosting live network television events such as the "Miss 1959 Pageant."  The prospect of snagging "The Garry Moore Show" will mean nothing to some viewers while igniting a warm spark of nostalgia for others, especially when the names of potential guests such as Jonathan Winters, Don Knotts, and George Gobel pop up.  Other name-dropping (the McGuire Sisters, "the Lawfords", Kim Novak) will go right over the heads of younger viewers.

The show basks, revels, even wallows in its period atmosphere and all the dirty-money decadence that goes with its particular setting.  Things look and feel just right most of the time, thanks partly to a faded, sunbleached look in the exteriors and opulent, smoky interiors (almost everybody smokes) that boast some of the most elaborate sets ever constructed for a television series.  Car lovers will be in heaven at the sight of all the beautiful vintage automobiles on hand here.  The show has a distinctive noirish look that's lush, romantic, and practically dripping with sexuality, with a main titles sequence worthy of a James Bond film. 

The 3-disc DVD set from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby English 5.1 and Spanish mono.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a making-of featurette, brief looks at the show's cars, styles, set design, and music, and a history of Miami Beach. 

While it's nice, for a change, to see this subject done without all the usual Italian mobsters stabbing, shooting, and dismembering each other, and with a main character who hasn't completely turned to the dark side, MAGIC CITY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON is only moderately as hard-edged and ruthless as it wants to be.  What it does right, though, is to be cool and sexy and to look good (I can almost hear Fernando Lamas say, "It is better to look good than to be good"), and to be marginally entertaining despite a tendency to meander down its own Memory Lane.


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MAGIC CITY: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

THE TALL MAN -- DVD review by porfle

Whatever you think writer-director Pascal Laugier's THE TALL MAN (2012) is going to be about when you start to watch it, chances are you're going to be surprised.  At first, I thought it was going to be a horror flick.  Then I thought it was going to be a Dean Koontz-style "plucky woman singlehandedly confronts unimaginable evil" type of deal.  And finally, I thought it was going to turn into something that resembled a collaboration between SyFy and Lifetime.  And even after all that--I was surprised.

Jessica Biel emotes her buns off as nurse Julia Denning, who continues to run a small clinic in rural Washington after the death of her doctor husband.  Due to a mine closure, the town she lives in is dying and the people all seem to suffer from a sort of shared sickness of the soul, exacerbated by the fact that an enigmatic "Tall Man" is said to be kidnapping their children from their beds at will and carrying them off into the woods one at a time, never to be seen again.

When we see Julia happily playing with her little boy David after work we know that the same fate will befall them, and indeed it does.  But rather than submit passively, Julia runs down the Tall Man's escaping van and hangs on Terminator-style until she's somehow able to cause a crash.  After that she tracks the fiend through the woods despite her injuries and locates his secret hideaway, where...

Well, I can't really say any more, but this is the point where THE TALL MAN starts to get really surprising and go off in all directions, with not just one or two twists but a twist a minute, leaving us disoriented and wondering what the hell's going on.  I like that in a movie, as long as it's able to keep its own twists and turns sorted out and there's some definite point to it all. 

Here, there seems to be some kind of deep-seated evil coursing through the populace of Julia's hometown, her actions uncovering a potential conspiracy that she could never have suspected and we can only guess at.  You'll really wonder where it's all headed when Julia herself is accused of being behind all the kidnappings and the townsfolk start coming after her like rabid dogs. 

The mystery deepens despite the efforts of state police Lieutenant Dodd (a typically intense  Stephen McHattie) and local lawman Sheriff Chestnut ("The X-Files"' own Smoking Man, William B. Davis), who, for all we know, are in on the whole thing themselves.  And what does a disturbed mute girl named Jenny (talented young actress Jodelle Ferland) know about the Tall Man that would make her actually want to meet him?

THE TALL MAN is helped considerably by its setting, the dark, foreboding forests of the American northwest (actually Canada) where you never know what might be lurking.  From the start, it goes out of it way to be visually interesting--camerawork and editing have a pleasing flow to them--and establishes a melancholy ambiance that's maintained throughout. 

The film becomes a thriller with the first abduction, a pulse-pounding headlong rush of a sequence, but soon settles into Twilight Zone territory when everything we think we know suddenly goes askew.  Strangely enough, in spite of my initial expectations, it never really becomes a horror movie.

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 2.40:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Bonus features consist of a deleted scene, a trailer, and a gallery of beautifully rendered production paintings.

As the scintillating mystery that sustains THE TALL MAN for most of its running time winds down, the film seems to get a little talky and, surprisingly, starts to wind up a little too pat.  But just as the extended ending threatens to get a little sappy, the last shot manages to strike just the right chord to give the film a disquieting, yet satisfying, fadeout.  I'm not sure how you'll react, but one thing's for sure--it's one odd, unexpected movie.


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THE TALL MAN -- DVD review by porfle

Acorn Media (British TV) and Athena (Best Documentaries) DVD Release Calendar

“Acorn Media, chief curators of the best Brit TV” –TIME Magazine

This week/Sept. 18:

JOSEPH CAMPBELL: MYTHOS – The Complete Series and UNDERSTANDING ART: IMPRESSIONISM (U.S. Debut)

Sept. 25:

THE CRIMSON PETAL AND THE WHITE (DVD Debut) – “The outstanding drama of the year” (The Times) – DVD release coincides with recent broadcast premiere as the first program in Encore’s “The Big Miniseries Showcase” on Sept. 10-11. Based on the sensational novel by Michel Faber, this new provocative period drama boasts a stellar cast and a boldly original look and feel. This BBC psychological thriller won three Royal Television Society awards and was nominated for five 2012 BAFTAs, including best miniseries and best actress. The gripping drama follows the fortunes of Sugar (Romola Garai, The Hour, Atonement, Emma), an ambitious prostitute, as she navigates the dark underbelly of Victorian London in pursuit of a better life. The miniseries co-stars Chris O'Dowd (Bridesmaids, The IT Crowd), and Gillian Anderson (Bleak House, The X-Files).

SPECIAL BRANCH, SET 1 (U.S. Debut) – A gritty, realistic procedural akin to spy classics Callan, Man in a Suitcase, and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, this classic British spy drama provides a suspenseful ride through the underbelly of Britain’s international affairs and the Special Branch of London’s Metropolitan Police—a force dedicated to stopping terrorist activities. Stars George Sewell (Get Carter), Patrick Mower (Callan), and Richard Leech (Doctor Who). Aired on ITV in the U.K. for four series from 1969-1974 but is available to U.S. audiences for the first time with its DVD release.

NEW TRICKS, SEASON 8 (DVD Debut) – “Mysteries are top notch, twisty and ingeniously solved…Great fun” (PaperMag) – Another season from Britain’s highest-rated TV drama in its unedited UK edition. Amanda Redman (Sexy Beast), Dennis Waterman (The Sweeney), Alun Armstrong (Garrow’s Law, Bleak House, Patriot Games), and James Bolam (The Beiderbecke Affair) star as a team of semi-retired and somewhat curmudgeonly detectives investigating cold cases. Aired on BBC for eight seasons so far and has ongoing broadcast exposure on public television; however the DVD set features the unedited UK edition, which includes an additional six minutes per episode not seen on public television.

MIDSOMER MURDERS: MAYHEM & MYSTERY FILES – “Simply the most entertaining mystery series in TV history…Absolutely addictive” (ICv2) – Acorn’s top-selling series returns with fourth value priced collector’s set. Beloved British mystery series stars John Nettles. Set features the next 15 stand-alone mysteries in broadcast order with the episodes from Series 10 and 11 (2006-2008)

Oct. 2:

VEXED, SERIES 1 (U.S. Debut) – Featuring sharp scripts, strong performances, and an enjoyable mix of comedy and crime solving, this ongoing series features Toby Stephens (Jane Eyre, Die Another Day, Wired) and Lucy Punch (Doc Martin, Bad Teacher) in a fresh approach to the police procedural as two mismatched police detectives who banter and bicker their way through London’s toughest cases. Broadcast on BBC Two in 2010 and a second series in 2012, Vexed has not aired in the U.S. and is available to U.S. audiences for the first time with this DVD release.

KIDNAP & RANSOM, Complete Series 1 & 2 (U.S. Debut) – Acclaimed new thriller about international kidnapping makes its U.S. debut from Patrick Harbinson (Persons of Interest, 24, Law & Order: SVU). Featuring outstanding casts and a gritty, realistic feel, the series revolves around master negotiator Dominic King (Trevor Eve, Waking the Dead) as he travels to exotic locales to bring kidnapping victims home, offering a captivating look inside a dangerous business. Filmed on location in South Africa, the series also stars Helen Baxendale (Cold Feet, Friends, An Unsuitable Job for a Woman) with guest stars John Hannah (The Mummy, Spartacus). Aired on ITV (2011-12), but this release makes it available to U.S. audiences for the first time.

THOMAS & SARAH – The follow-up to the blockbuster British series, Upstairs, Downstairs, features two beloved characters. Real-life couple John Alderton (Little Dorrit, Calendar Girls) and Oscar® nominee Pauline Collins (Shirley Valentine) return as two of the series’ most colorful characters: the wily chauffeur and the sassy cockney parlor maid. In these 13 episodes, the scheming pair embarks on adventures of smuggling, swindling, matchmaking, and magic. Aired on ITV in the U.K. in 1979 but never broadcast in the U.S.

Oct. 16

WATERLOO ROAD, SERIES 1 (DVD Debut) – U.K.’s most popular drama series makes its North American DVD debut. Featuring contemporary settings, sharp scripts, strong characters, and realistic dialogue, the smash-hit BBC America (2006) serial drama follows the students and teachers at the beleaguered Waterloo Road Comprehensive School as they confront issues ranging from teen pregnancy to bullying. Series 1 stars Jason Merrells (Lark Rise to Candleford) and Jamie Glover (Emma). The highly popular program has aired for seven series on BBC One in the U.K. with several more in production.

BRAVE NEW WORLD (U.S. Debut) – Hosted by Stephen Hawking, fascinating documentary explores the recent headline-grabbing advancements in machines, health, technology, the environment, biology, and physics. Hosted by famed professor Stephen Hawking, the series travels the globe to explore the amazing research and awesome inventions that will change the course of the world. Hawking is joined by a stellar cast of notable scientists offering expert commentary on today’s scientific revolutions, including naturalist David Attenborough, evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins, physicist Kathy Sykes, and reproductive-medicine pioneer Robert Winston. Broadcast in the U.K. on Channel 4 in 2011, the series is available to U.S. audiences for the first time with its DVD release.

BILL MOYERS: A WORLD OF IDEAS II – GREAT THINKERS – Peabody Award-winning PBS interview series features conversations with winners of The Nobel Prize, the Pulitzer, an Academy Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Bill Moyers (Moyers & Company, PBS) sits down with 16 of the world’s smartest people for comprehensive conversations about American life. Eclectic, engrossing, witty, and profound, A World of Ideas shows “how good television can be” (San Jose Mercury News).

THE COMPLETE RED GREEN SHOW: HIGH (QUALITY) QUANTITY COLLECTION – Bringing together all 300 episodes/15 seasons (1991-2006) of the cult classic Canadian comedy and longstanding PBS hit in value-priced collection in nice collectible packaging. 50-disc collector’s edition is perfect for fans of all things manly, Canadian, and duct taped and offers the perfect excuse to grab a seat, crack open a cold one, and put off your next home-improvement project ($299.99, Very limited quantities available).

Oct. 23

AGATHA CHRISTIE’S POIROT: THE EARLY CASES COLLECTION (DVD, Blu-ray) – First six series of Agatha Christie’s beloved mysteries in a value-priced collector’s edition; 45 mysteries remastered and in original U.K. broadcast order. Seen on PBS’s Masterpiece Mystery! and A&E, David Suchet stars as Agatha Christie’s mustachioed mystery-solver as a “near-perfect Poirot” (USA Today). Brimming with opulent 1930s period details, these lavish adaptations look better than ever. Agatha Christie’s Poirot has aired on ITV1 in the U.K. since 1989 and on PBS and A&E in the U.S. The 13-disc Blu-ray and 18-disc DVD sets include all 45 mysteries from Series 1-6, now with SDH subtitles and collectible foil packaging ($249.99/$199.99, Very limited quantities available). Guest stars include Damian Lewis (Homeland)

THE DUCHESS OF DUKE STREET COMPLETE COLLECTION – Value-priced collector’s set of the beloved BBC series seen on Masterpiece Theatre. Created by Emmy® winner John Hawkesworth (Upstairs, Downstairs) and fondly remembered from its Emmy®-nominated PBS Masterpiece Theatre run (1979-80), The series remains a standard of BBC excellence to this day. Gemma Jones (Bridget Jones’s Diary, Sense and Sensibility) stars as Louisa Leyton, a culinary wizard who ascends from servant to manager of a posh London hotel. Christopher Cazenove (A Knight’s Tale, TV’s Dynasty) co-stars as Charlie, the dashing love of her life. Nominated for an Emmy® and multiple BAFTAs, including Best Drama Series and Best Actress.

WISH ME LUCK: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION – “Impossible not to be hooked” (The Guardian) – All three series of the riveting British WWII drama about British heroines who crossed enemy lines to work undercover with the French Resistance. Broadcast on ITV from 1988-1990 and U.S. public television in the 1990s, these three complete, acclaimed series feature plots rife with tension and danger and outstanding casts including Kate Buffery (Trial and Retribution), Jane Asher (A Voyage Round My Father), and Julian Glover (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade). Filmed on location in Britain and France, Wish Me Luck features strong female characters, historical authenticity, and spectacular scenery. (6-Disc Set, 23 episodes)

Nov. 6:

VERA, SET 2 (U.S. Debut) – “One of the best mysteries…in the last decade” (The Baltimore Sun) – Two-time Oscar® nominee Brenda Blethyn (Little Voice, Secrets & Lies, Pride & Prejudice) returns in the acclaimed British mystery series, which returned to record ratings in the U.K. in 2012. Based on the award-winning novels by Ann Cleeves, the ITV series stars Blethyn as Vera Stanhope—a brilliant police detective with a disheveled exterior, a sharp tongue, and an uncanny ability to solve crimes. The first series of Vera currently airs on select public television stations, however, the DVD release of Set 2 marks the first time the second series is available to U.S. audiences.

NARROW ESCAPES OF WORLD WAR II (Original uncut U.K. broadcast edition) – “Extraordinary tales of wartime courage” (The Daily Telegraph) – Riveting new documentary reveals the exploits of bravery that helped shape the outcome of the WWII. Broadcast on the Military Channel in May 2012, the series explores 13 daring escapes by Allied and Axis forces including the Doolittle raid, the Amiens Prison raid, and the siege of Kohima. The DVD 4-vol. boxed set features the original uncut U.K. broadcast edition with more than 65 minutes of additional footage not seen on the U.S. broadcast.

CORNWALL WITH CAROLINE QUENTIN (U.S. Debut) – Appealing to fans of Rick Steves and Samantha Brown, this lighthearted travel documentary, explores the glorious scenery and fascinating people of the Cornish coast. Hosted by two-time British Comedy Award winner Caroline Quentin (Blue Murder, Men Behaving Badly), this eight-part documentary takes a rollicking ride through southern England’s coastal playground where surfers catch big waves, vintners harvest sun-ripened grapes, and pirates swarm over a medieval fortress. Broadcast on ITV in January 2012, the production features exceptional cinematography and stunning views of the coast and countryside.

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Acorn Media on Facebook and Twitter

ACORN TV: Full press access upon request. Streaming now are the Upstairs, Downstairs spin-off THOMAS & SARAH, Judi Dench in A FINE ROMANCE, U.S. debut of VEXED, beloved period drama POLDARK, a new cop dramedy, Robson Green in TOUCHING EVIL, James May’s 20TH CENTURY, and hit detective series: VERA, Agatha Christie’s POIROT and MARPLE, MIDSOMER MURDERS, GEORGE GENTLY, PIE IN THE SKY, and SINGLE-HANDED. Acorn TV streams full seasons of critically acclaimed, classic and contemporary British series. Acorn TV is available on Roku, Nook, iPhone, iPad, among others.

January – Sept. 4, 2012 DVDs:

From Acorn: THE FORSYTE SAGA COLLECTION starring Damian Lewis (Homeland, Band of Brothers); THE STORY OF THE COSTUME DRAMA (U.S. Debut); THE COSTUME DRAMA CLASSIC COLLECTION; THE KENT CHRONICLES (DVD Debut); INJUSTICE (DVD Debut); Agatha Christie’s POIROT, SERIES 6 (Blu-ray and DVD); HOLY FLYING CIRCUS (Blu-ray/DVD Combo Debut); CLOUDSTREET (DVD Debut); YOUNG JAMES HERRIOT (U.S. Debut); THE SINKING OF THE LACONIA (DVD Debut); GARROW’S LAW, SERIES 3 (U.S. Debut); DOC MARTIN, Series 5 (DVD Debut); WASHINGTON: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS (Home Video Debut); LOVE IN A COLD CLIMATE (long-awaited DVD Debut) starring Judi Dench; THE BEST OF FOYLE’S WAR; MIDSOMER MURDERS, Set 20 (U.S. Debut, Blu-ray and DVD); GEORGE GENTLY, Series 4 (U.S. Debut, Blu-ray and DVD); MONROE, Series 1 (U. S. Debut); MURDOCH MYSTERIES, Season 4 (U.S. Debut, DVD/Blu-ray); I, CLAUDIUS: 35th Anniversary Edition (bonus packed with many previously unavailable extras); BBC’s TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY (Now on Blu-ray); ABOVE SUSPICION, Set 1 (U.S. Debut); AGATHA CHRISTIE’S POIROT Series 1-5 (Blu-ray debut, DVD); and POLDARK: The Complete Collection (Value-priced collection).

From Athena: JAMES MAY’S 20th CENTURY (U.S. debut); BILL MOYERS ON ADDICTION: CLOSE TO HOME and CAPITOL CRIMES; THE CODE (U.S. Debut); THIS IS CIVILIZATION (DVD Debut); TIME TEAM: UNEARTHING THE ROMAN INVASION (U.S. Debut); TREASURE HOUSES OF BRITAIN (DVD Debut); IN THEIR OWN WORDS (Athena, U.S. Debut); SECRET WAR (DVD Debut); BATTLEFIELD DETECTIVES (Athena, DVD Debut); and THE WINDSORS (U.S. Debut, Athena).

About Acorn Media:

Headquartered in suburban Washington, D.C., Acorn Media U.S. releases the best of British television on DVD/Blu-ray, while Athena releases provide an authoritative and entertaining learning experience through high quality, informative, non-fiction programming. On April 2, 2012, RLJ Acquisition, Inc. (OTCQB: RLJAU; RLJA; RLJAW) entered into agreements to acquire each of Image Entertainment, Inc. (OTCQB:DISK) and Acorn Media Group, Inc., two highly complementary media businesses to create one of the largest independent distributors of digital and video content globally. The new combined company will be named RLJ Entertainment, Inc.

Acorn’s and Athena’s DVD sets are available from select retailers, catalog companies, and direct from Acorn Media at (888) 870-8047 or www.acornonline.com and www.athenalearning.com.

Acorn Media (British TV) and Athena (Best Documentaries) DVD Release Calendar

KING OF THORN -- Blu-Ray/DVD review by porfle

What starts out as an intriguing sci-fi tale loses its way in director Kazuyoshi Katayama's KING OF THORN (2010), which ends up as a collection of hit-and-miss scenes searching for a satisfying whole.

This visually compelling anime epic begins with some gorgeous shots of New York City, where the suicide of a young girl suffering from the dreaded Medousa virus--she leaps from a tall building and her petrified, dried-white body shatters on the pavement--heralds the start of a catastrophic new epidemic that will threaten the world's population.  Billionaire chemical tycoon Coral Vega offers to place 160 lucky subjects into "cold sleep" pending a cure, in a Scottish castle science facility overseen by his shadowy religious cult "Venus Gate." 

When this "Noah's Ark" of preserved humanity is inadvertently awakened after some unknown calamity within the facility, they find themselves surrounded by huge, thorn-covered plants and beseiged by vicious mutant creatures that seem inspired by somebody's nightmare (which they were, thanks to their computer caretaker "A.L.I.C.E." reading their thoughts during cold sleep).  Seven survivors find themselves in a fight for life as they try to escape the castle and discover what has happened to the world during their sleep, however long it may have been. 

After an extended sequence in which much exposition is delivered via simulated news broadcasts, we see the 160 traveling by bus caravan to the Scottish castle in a series of semi-photorealistic shots that mimic reality but with a heightened pictorial beauty.  It's one of my favorite passages in the film and some of the lush backgrounds here look as though they may have come from Studio Ghibli (which is mentioned in the closing credits). 

A couple of typical anime schoolgirl types, Kasumi Ishiki and her twin sister Shizuku are on one bus with Katherine Turner, an introspective woman who likens their current situation to the "Sleeping Beauty" fairytale, and a little boy named Tim who will find striking parallels in the perilous events to come with the videogames he plays on his Game Boy.  (Neither of these similarities will be coincidental.)  Kasumi has been chosen for cold sleep and her sister is merely there to see her off, but they will both play key roles in what occurs later on. 

Other characters include wisecracking bad boy Marco Owen, a convicted computer hacker with a hidden agenda; Ron Portman, a burly African-American; Alexandro Pecchino, an Italian senator who bought his way into the program; and Peter Stevens, an engineer who, as it turns out, created the cold sleep capsules for Venus Gate only to then contract the Medousa virus himself. 

Once inside the facility, KING OF THORN becomes an uneasy combination of clinical-looking sci-fi and feverish gothic fantasy-horror.  While the survival story is intermittently suspenseful, with plenty of shoot 'em up action and serial-style escapes, I found the group's constant clashes with the "demonsaurus" creatures and other fanciful beasts to be tiresome after awhile. 

Likewise with Kasumi's constant angst-ridden memories of twin sister Shizuku and all the teasing glimpses of how both girls secretly fit into the overall scheme by Venus Gate to do whatever it is they're scheming to do, which I found more unfathomable with each passing scene.  The plot becomes unnecessarily complicated to the point where I had no idea what was going on half the time, and thus found myself merely concentrating on the impressive but confusing visuals.

The Blu-Ray/DVD combo from Funimation is in 16x9 widescreen with English and Japanese 5.1 sound and English subtitles.  Extras include a Q & A with the director and producer, a director interview, and several trailers and TV spots. 

Based on a manga that is comprised of several volumes, KING OF THORN perhaps tries to squeeze too much story into its running time and ends up cluttered and uninvolving after a promising start.  I would recommend it to anime fans for the animation and artwork alone (although it relies a bit too much on CGI for my taste), because it really is nice to look at.  But what is obviously intended as a deeply emotional finale left me feeling pretty indifferent to it all.


Buy the Blu-Ray/DVD combo at Amazon.com

KING OF THORN -- Blu-Ray/DVD review by porfle

Commemorate Veteran’s Day with these War-Time Classics from Image Entertainment

America will honor all those who serve in the armed forces with the Monday, November 12th observance of Veteran’s Day. Originally called “Armistice Day,” the holiday was enacted by Woodrow Wilson in 1919. From all of us at Image Entertainment, we salute and celebrate our men and women in uniform for their devotion and sacrifice.

The story of the U.S. soldier also goes back to the history of American cinema itself.  Image Entertainment marks Veteran’s Day 2012 with a sampling of the films and television shows that chronicled, documented and ultimately celebrated the triumphs and tragedies of those who answered to our nation’s highest calling.

COMBAT! FAN FAVORITES 50th ANNIVERSARY (DVD)

One of television’s most popular shows, the 1960s’ groundbreaking series COMBAT offers a gritty, unflinching look at American soldiers battling on the front lines in Europe during World War II, confronting imposing odds and demonstrating remarkable levels of ingenuity and courage. Vic Morrow and Rick Jason head a stellar cast in this long-running war drama featuring an incomparable list of guest stars as well as top directorial talent. This special 5-DVD collection includes 20 classic episodes from the series and includes guest stars include Lee Marvin, James Coburn, John Cassavetes, Tab Hunter and more!

For REAL fans of the iconic series, there’s the 40-disc COMBAT! THE COMPLETE SERIES DVD box set, containing all 152 episodes of this action-packed series, including the final season in color, and featuring over 30 hours of bonus features, including audio commentaries, video interviews, “oddities” and bloopers!

MEMORIAL DAY (Blu-ray, DVD, Digital Video)

It’s Memorial Day 1993, when 13-year-old Kyle Vogel stumbles upon his grandfather Bud’s (James Cromwell, The Artist, Babe) World War II footlocker. Though reluctant to discuss the war with his grandson, Bud strikes a deal with Kyle: He’ll tell the stories of any three objects from the footlocker that Kyle chooses. As we flash back to see Bud’s WWII tales from Europe unfold through his souvenirs and memories, we also flash forward to see how the present day SSgt. Kyle Vogel’s (Jonathan Bennett, Mean Girls) experiences in Iraq parallel them—and how that day on the porch with his grandfather will affect how he ultimately deals with the losses, regrets and moral dilemmas that unite all soldiers across all wars and generations.

IWO JIMA: 50 YEARS OF MEMORIES (DVD, Digital)

It was one of the last major battles of WWII, fought on a tiny Pacific island only eight miles square. And when it was over, nearly 30,000 American and Japanese men were dead, with thousands more wounded. This is the story of Iwo Jima, told entirely through the voices of American servicemen who survived the hell that was "Operation Detachment." Interviewed 50 years after the last shot on Iwo was fired, many of these brave men had never before spoken to anyone about their experiences on "Sulpher Island" — a silence that haunted them for decades. Originally broadcast on PBS, IWO JIMA: 50 YEARS OF MEMORIES has been digitally remastered with added footage and photographs, including additional maps and archival film not previously available to the public.

WWII: THE COMPLETE HISTORY (10-DVD SET)

World War II was different from other wars due to the unparalleled scope of rare and, in some cases, previously unseen images from archives around the world. Now these images have been brought together in one of the most powerful documentary series on the 20th century's greatest conflict. This is the complete Second World War from the islands of the Pacific to the frozen Steppes of Russia. From the rise of Hitler to the celebration of VJ day, you will learn about the hardware, the heroes and the heartbreak of war.

VIETNAM: WAR IN THE JUNGLE (10-DVD SET)

The Vietnam War was one of the worst horrors of the second half of the 20th century and the causes behind it continue to baffle people to this day. How did it start? What were the justifications for America's involvement in Nam? Could it have been avoided altogether? Now in this stunning and detailed five-disc collection, see the war as it was – warts and all. This extraordinary series, produced with the official cooperation of the U.S. Army and U.S. National Archive, features hours of rare, recently declassified film footage, making this the ultimate Vietnam War collection.


Buy COMBAT! FAN FAVORITES 50th ANNIVERSARY at Amazon.com

Commemorate Veteran’s Day with these War-Time Classics from Image Entertainment

GONE HOLLYWOOD -- DVD review by porfle

If you like your comedy on the bland side because you're afraid of the potential internal injuries that actual laughter may inflict on you, then the almost terminally low-key GONE HOLLYWOOD (2010) may appeal to you.  Otherwise, watching it might make you appreciate the relative pleasures of being in a coma.

Fernando Carrillo plays Al, a down-on-his-luck TV actor who returns to his tiny south Texas hometown after his father dies because in order to inherit the old man's billiard bar--and then sell out to a radio station owner who wants to demolish it--he has to work in it for thirty days.  Of course, the employees are like a family and don't want him to sell, so they go about selling Al on keeping the place. 

One of the fun things about the bar that's supposed to make Al want to keep it is "Mariachi Madness Night", which consists of a lot of people filing onstage in mariachi outfits and playing instruments.  Yeah, that's pretty insane, all right.  Another big selling point is "Chicken Poop Bingo", a Sunday tradition that involves actual chickens picking the bingo numbers by pooping on them.  Whoa, stop it--my sides are hurting. 

The really weird thing about these scenes is that there are no reaction shots of the bar's customers.  The camera remains pointed at the stage the entire time, as though we're watching a local cable-access broadcast from a cheap bar.  There aren't even any "people" sound effects.  It's a little on the nightmarish side, which tends to counteract the happy comedy feeling the movie is supposed to be instilling in us.
 
Other detrimental factors are the film's murky photography, sluggish pace, and Demetrius Navarro's amazingly uninspired direction--the whole thing just sits there like an undercooked comedy pancake that's been smothered in molasses.  The acting is goodnatured but not very good, and everything's so dead-calm that the funniest gags involve a gang of senior citizens on scooters who are fans of Al's TV reruns (only old people like his show) but angry with him for wanting to sell the bar. 

Erlinda Orozco is kind of cute as bar maid Nena, whom we know will get together with Al because this movie isn't about to do anything surprising, and the rest of the cast perform with such a talent-show earnestness that it's hard not to give them pity points.  Carrillo himself, as washed-up TV star Al, reminds me of what might happen if you took a young Joaquim de Almeida (DESPERADO) and replaced his brain with half a pound of potato salad and a hamster wheel. 

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78.1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  Closed-captions but no subtitles or extras.  The closing credits feature some behind-the-scenes tomfoolery.

I can't totally diss GONE HOLLYWOOD simply because it's so inoffensive.  As a comedy, it's almost passive-aggressive.  You may want to watch it just so you don't hurt its feelings.  Better yet, turn on the DVD player and then sneak out of the house while it isn't looking.


Buy it at Amazon.com

GONE HOLLYWOOD -- DVD review by porfle

GOATS -- DVD review by porfle

When David Duchovny left "The X-Files" for a movie career, I'm sure one of his fondest dreams was to play "Goat Man" in a movie called GOATS (2012).  Or not. 

Looking like a cross between Billy Gibbons and Gabby Hayes, Duchovny plays an overaged dope-smoking slacker who came to clean the pool and never left.  Now he's the live-in surrogate father and mentor for 15-year-old Ellis (Graham Phillips) and a companion for Ellis' wacky, dissolute New Age mom Wendy (Vera Farmiga), who lives off a perpetual trust fund in a hacienda in the Arizona desert.

Growing up with these two delirious hipster-doofuses, there's no way Ellis would be as well-adjusted as he seems to be, especially with Javier (Goat Man's semi-real name) feeding him lungfuls of weed at every turn and taking him on "goat treks."  But the kid wants to go to prep school, the same one his father attended in fact, and seems to be a bit of a genius.  He even wants to get to know his estranged dad Frank (Ty Burrell) over his mom's strenuous objections, and meet Frank's new wife Judy (Keri Russell), now pregnant with Ellis' new half-brother.

We're supposed to care about Ellis as he deals with the various disparate influences that are trying to dominate his life, but he never seems to get all that upset about anything and indeed doesn't really have it all that bad.  His main conflict, in fact, is with his overweight, insecure roommate Barney (Nicholas Lobue), whose biggest problem is a somewhat neglectful mom.  Ellis' mom Wendy may be an insufferable nut but she loves him, and his dad never really abandoned him but was forced out of his life by a spiteful Wendy. 

Frank, it turns out, is a pretty cool guy even though he's a bit overly protective and straightlaced, and Ellis seems slightly confused because Frank's conservative lifestyle is somewhat attractive to him after years of bong hits and goat treks.  This constitutes pretty much the extent of the main conflict in GOATS, so as far as that goes, it's a dramatically bland movie.  Which leaves us with the comedy.

Wendy's over-the-top New Ageism supplies us with a few fairly hearty chuckles as she chatters about spirit guides, "healing vortex" workshops, primal screaming, and veggie Thanksgiving dinners with tofu turkeys.  But she tends to get rather annoying after an hour-and-a-half of this, and she also comes off as a fairly spiteful bitch when we discover how she has deliberately alienated Ellis from his dad all those years. 

As for Goat Man, a little of his character goes a long way, especially when he's roaming around naked (I saw as much of Duchovny as I needed to on "The Larry Sanders Show").  Humorwise, the movie is at its most fun during the conflicts between Goat Man and Wendy's latest romantic interest, Bennet (Justin Kirk), a slimey, conceited gigolo trying to weasel his way into her bank account.

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 2.40:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras include a brief making-of featurette, deleted scenes, a trailer, "Home Movies", and something called "The Mailman's Lament" (audio only). 

A mildly amusing and, at times, blandly wistful story about the not-so-earth-shaking experiences of a pampered prep-school brat, GOATS is a take-it-or-leave-it flick that I wouldn't go out of my way to either see or avoid.  It helps, though, if you enjoy watching an inordinately hirsute David Duchovny cavorting with goats in his birthday suit.


Buy it at Amazon.com
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GOATS -- DVD review by porfle

TOUCHBACK -- Blu-Ray/DVD review by porfle

Sort of a cross between a guy flick and a chick flick (a "Chuck" flick?), TOUCHBACK (2011) mixes the rah-rah suspense of a gridiron yarn with the heart-tugging emotion of a Hallmark Channel weepie.  And it pretty much works, or at least it did for me.

Scott Murphy (Brian Presley, END GAME) is a former "Mr. Football" who quarterbacked his tiny high school's team to the state championship before sustaining a career-ending injury while making the game-winning touchdown.  Now a bitter and down-on-his-luck bean farmer stuck forever in Coldwater (or as he calls it, "Backwater"), Scott suffers a series of setbacks that finally prompt him to attempt suicide so that his wife Macy (Melanie Lynskey, HEAVENLY CREATURES) and two daughters will benefit from his life insurance.

TOUCHBACK starts out as a seriously downbeat flick as things just keep going from bad to worse for Scott, coming to a head when frost threatens to ruin his entire bean crop.  But then, suddenly, his aborted suicide becomes a trip back in time to his senior year in high school and the story takes an abrupt left turn into fantasy territory.  ("What's going on?  Am I dead?" he asks himself.)

Faced with the chance to do it all over again, Scott is now able to tweak everything so that it all turns out better than before, with his main emphasis being to avoid his career-ending injury and go on to become a big-time pro football player. 

This is where Scott's plan hits its biggest snag, however.  His injury, it turns out, was the reason he met his future wife Macy, a volunteer hospital worker when she wasn't playing in the school band.  Lacking this special circumstance, Scott is destined to marry his high school flame Jenny (Sarah Wright), a blonde homecoming queen who dreams of becoming Mrs. Football. 

Scott's desire to get back together with his beloved Macy despite everything else is what forms the emotional heart of TOUCHBACK, along with his attempts to make right other bad relationships he's had with various people (i.e.,"nerds") whom he previously felt were beneath him.  Another heart-tugging aspect of the story is his reunion with his late mother Thelma (Christine Lahti), a factory worker who toils endlessly to make him happy while trying to teach him the really important things in life. 

The film has its lighthearted moments, as when Scott, still dazed by his sudden transition back to youth, hits the field for his first practice session in several years and is knocked for a loop while still having the time of his life.  His tentative friendships with social "undesirables", including Macy herself, are both awkwardly amusing and touching, including his efforts at matchmaking between shy geek Todd (Kevin Covais) and a formidable blonde waitress named Sasha (Sianoa Smit-McPhee, lookalike sister of Kodi Smit-McPhee of LET ME IN).  

Naturally, the whole thing builds up to the big game with a powerhouse rival team--which we glimpsed at the start of the movie, including Scott's wince-inducing knee injury--and whether or not he has learned anything from his recent "instant replay."  Having gained a whole new appreciation for his hometown and the people in it, we get to see how his newfound enlightenment plays out on the field, particularly when one of the team's perpetual benchwarmers is summoned onto the field to take part in a major play. 

It's an exciting enough sequence that's very nicely directed (by Don Handfield) and choreographed so that even non-football fans should be able to keep up and stay interested.  Kurt Russell is a warm and likable presence as Coldwater's Coach Hand, the motivational heart of the team.  As the game winds down to its final seconds, we're wondering what course Scott will choose--the glittering road to success and fame in pro football, or the well-worn path of a humble farmer's life with Macy.

The Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby TrueHD 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Bonuses are a making-of featurette and a commentary featuring Handfield and Presley.

I like the shots of quarterback Scott gazing over at his beloved Macy in her band uniform during the big game--heck, by that time I wanted to marry her myself.  What follows is a tearful wrap-up that aspires to the emotional heights of Frank Capra's IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.  I didn't find the climax of TOUCHBACK to be quite that effective, but was moved nonetheless. 


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TOUCHBACK -- Blu-Ray/DVD review by porfle

Beware THE TALL MAN! Coming September 25th to Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Download from Image Entertainment

“Pascal Laugier’s film is brave and enjoys toying with our expectations” – JoBlo.com

“The Tall Man keeps you plugged in – right up until it pulls the rug out from under you.”– Marshall Fine, Huffington Post

“Spellbinding” – Horror News

IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS "THE TALL MAN"

Starring Jessica Biel, Jodelle Ferland and Stephen McHattie.

He’s Coming to Blu-ray™, DVD and digital download September 25th

Chatsworth, CA – When does myth give way to reality? For the tiny, isolated hamlet of Cold Rock, the line between what’s real and what’s not becomes all too frighteningly real... Coming off its national theatrical engagement, Image Entertainment unleashes The Tall Man on Blu-ray™, DVD and digital download September 25th.

Written and directed by Pascal Laugier (Martyrs), the film stars Jessica Biel (Total Recall, The Illusionist), Jodelle Ferland (Cabin in the Woods, Silent Hill), Samantha Ferris (Grace)  and Stephen McHattie (300, Watchmen), The Tall Man appears on Blu-ray™ for an SRP of $29.97 and DVD for an SRP of $27.97.

In an isolated, slowly dying mining town, children are vanishing without a trace – abducted, the townsfolk whisper, by a mysterious entity known locally as “The Tall Man.” Town nurse Julia Denning (Jessica Biel) seems skeptical…until her young David disappears in the middle of night. Frantic to rescue the boy, Julia lives every parent’s darkest nightmare in this terrifying, shock-around-each-corner thriller.

Filled with twists and turns that both thrill and chill, The Tall Man is an unforgettable journey into the dark recesses of what has been heralded as “the first sociological horror thriller ever” (Anything Horror).

Available in collectible “O-card” packaging, The Tall Man Blu-ray™ and DVD feature an 8-minute Deleted Scene, and a Visual Concepts gallery.

Please see www.tallmanthemovie.com for trailers and more information.

THE TALL MAN is a Minds Eye Entertainment, Radar Films and Forecast Pictures Co-Production in association with SND, Highwire Pictures and Ocean Films

About Image Entertainment:
Image Entertainment, Inc. is a leading independent licensee and distributor of entertainment programming in North America, with approximately 3,700 exclusive DVD titles and approximately 300 exclusive CD titles in domestic release and more than 550 programs internationally via sublicense agreements. For many of its titles, the Company has exclusive audio and broadcast rights, as well as digital download rights to approximately 2,600 video programs and approximately 400 audio titles containing more than 5,600 individual tracks. The Company is headquartered in Chatsworth, California. For more information about Image Entertainment, Inc., please go to www.image-entertainment.com.   

The Tall Man Blu-ray™
Genre:                         Thriller
Street date:                  September 25, 2012
Year:                           2012
Catalog #:                    SND8138BD
UPC:                           014381813852
Run time:                     106 minutes
Rating:                         R
SRP:                            $29.97
Format:                        Anamorphic Widescreen (2.40:1)
Audio:                         DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1

The Tall Man DVD
Genre:                         Thriller
Street date:                  September 25, 2012
Year:                           2012
Catalog #:                    SND8136DVD
UPC:                           014381813623
Run time:                     106 minutes
Rating:                         R
SRP:                            $27.97
Format:                       Anamorphic Widescreen (2.40:1)
Audio:                         Dolby Digital 5.1


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Beware THE TALL MAN! Coming September 25th to Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Download from Image Entertainment

"Harry O: The Complete First Season" Starring David Janssen--Classic TV Series Comes to DVD

Beloved mystery man Harry O is finally on DVD!

HARRY O: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON

Harry Orwell is a decidedly different detective. And Harry O is decidedly different TV show. Forced off the force thanks to a bullet lodged near his spine, former police detective Harry Orwell gets by on his disability pension and the occasional private detecting gig (“100 bucks a day. Plus expenses”).

No flashy car for the downtrodden Harry – he’s as apt to get around town on bus as he is on foot. But he’s as savvy as he is sophisticated, and though he might have to avoid the slugfests, he can crack any case. Even if it sometimes breaks his heart.

Harry O features an actor at the top of his game--DAVID JANSSEN ("The Fugitive")--playing a character complex enough to contain his talents. This Six-Disc, 22-Episode Collection features the entire first season, co-starring Henry Darrow and Anthony Zerbe. Special guests include Stefanie Powers, Linda Evans, Martin Sheen, and Cab Calloway.

Special Bonus: Contains the Original Pilot – "Such Dust as Dreams Are Made Of"

#  Actors: David Janssen, Henry Darrow, Anthony Zerbe
# Format: NTSC
# Region: All Regions
# Number of discs: 6
# Studio: Warner Archive
# DVD Release Date: August 9, 2012
# Run Time: 960 minutes


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"Harry O: The Complete First Season" Starring David Janssen--Classic TV Series Comes to DVD

THE VICTIM -- DVD review by porfle

Inspired by the fake-grindhouse ambience of Robert Rodriguez' PLANET TERROR (in which he played a pivotal role), actor Michael Biehn promised the director of that exercise in old-school exploitation that he would someday make his own directorial foray into similar territory.  The result, THE VICTIM (2011), fulfills that promise by being not so much a self-aware homage as a genuine example of low-budget, anything-goes grindhouse filmmaking.

Biehn's film, in fact, resembles the sort of cheap exploitation flicks I used to watch at my local drive-in when I was growing up.  It has a small cast and crew (mostly friends and family), takes place mainly in that most cost-effective location of all--the woods--and contains generous amounts of affordable sex and violence.  It even boasts a slumming big-name star for marquee value, along with a cult fave (the bubbly Danielle Harris of those crappy HALLOWEEN sequels and other noteworthy genre films). 

There's just enough plot to get things going and keep them chugging along till the semi-suspenseful conclusion.  We join strippers Mary and Annie (Harris and Jennifer Blanc, Biehn's wife and a producer on the film) in the forest, making out with a couple of cops--virile young narc Cooger (Denny Kirkwood) and sheriff's department big wheel Harrison (Ryan Honey), whose political aspirations are placed into jeopardy when he accidentally breaks Mary's neck during some rough sex.

The coked-up cops decide they must cover up the crime--literally--which sends Annie fleeing for her life through the woods until she stumbles upon the secluded cabin of recluse Kyle (Biehn), whose troubled past has prompted him to shun society.  Suddenly finding himself with a screaming woman on his doorstep followed by two nosey cops searching for a "fugitive" forces Kyle to step up and get involved in a big way.

This leads to the aforementioned sex, as Annie uses her "feminine wiles" to convince Kyle to help her and they end up in a steamy softcore bump 'n' grind sequence.  This is followed quickly by a series of action-suspense scenes as Harrison and Cooger make their move and each side gains, then loses control of the situation. 

A red-hot tire iron becomes an incentive for the captive Harrison to reveal the whereabouts of Mary's body--the only proof of his crime that Kyle and Annie can offer police--until the tables are turned and Kyle finds himself in the hot seat while Cooger leads Annie outside to be executed.  Fights are realistically messy and awkward (little choreography was used) and in one instance ends with some quick but nasty graphic violence.

All of this is competently though rather artlessly directed by Biehn, who has a future in direct-to-DVD filmmaking but needn't start making room on his mantlepiece for any awards just yet.  His performance is as good as one might expect although he isn't quite channeling Stanislavsky here--in fact, he seems at times to be holding back in order to help the rest of the cast come off better than they actually are.

Biehn's screenplay (from a story by Reed Lackey) is similarly rough-hewn but contains a few zingy exchanges here and there, mainly between Kyle and Harrison, and allows Biehn to play one of his scruffier characters.  I like their first conversation as the two cops try to gain entry into Kyle's cabin:

HARRISON: "Can we come inside?"
KYLE: "No one's here."
HARRISON: "You seem nervous."
KYLE: "You seem nervous, too."

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Bonus features include a commentary track with Biehn and Blanc, and a lighthearted making-of featurette, "THE VICTIM: Behind the Scenes."
 
If you're looking for one of those startling revelations in which an actor proves himself an amazing new directorial talent, you're in the wrong place.  But if you'll settle for a fun night at the old grindhouse (or the local drive-in), take a chance on THE VICTIM and you probably won't be disappointed.


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THE VICTIM -- DVD review by porfle

LAKE EFFECTS -- DVD review by porfle

Sometimes a chick flick is just good enough to be tolerable for people who hate chick flicks.  And then there's LAKE EFFECTS (2012), the kind that should be preceeded by a warning from Wilford Brimley that watching it may cause dia-beet-us. 

Jeff Fahey is Ray, a laidback retiree who gives his wife Vivian (Jane Seymour) a single pink rose every day (awwww...) and loves nothing more than gettin' up at the crack of dawn for a day of fishing on his beloved Smith Mountain Lake.  Ray's the most likable character in the movie, so naturally he gets killed in the first five minutes.  Don't worry, though, because thanks to dream sequences and flashbacks he'll manage to wear out his welcome in ghostly form.

Ray's death has a big effect on his three gals.  His wife Vivian withdraws into a morose, teary-eyed bore who could use a good dose of electro-shock therapy to snap her out of it.  His free-spirited daughter Lily (Madeline Zima, who used to be cute on "The Nanny" but now is just kind of odd) finds herself stifled and resentful because she has to stay home and take care of Vivian now that Ray's been gone for, like, two days.  And Sara (Scottie Thompson, "NCIS", "Trauma"), a business lawyer who got the hell out of there early on, resents having to come back to Hicksville for her dad's funeral. 

We know Sara is uptight because she wears a business-suit-and-skirt outfit that looks like a mobile torture device.  We know Lily is a free spirit because she does transcendental meditation and tells a little kid in her art class that it's okay to paint a green sky.  When they get together at the local bar to have a sisterly whine over old times, their fellow townspeople are all so warm, folksy, and eccentric that it would make even Garrison Keillor sick to his stomach.  It didn't take long before their stifling folksiness had me sympathizing with Sara's original desire to get out of there and never come back.

While Sara's inexplicably being excoriated by both Lily and Vivian for actually having a life, we're meant to be charmed by a subplot involving a group of emotionally-stunted geeks who believe there's a prehistoric monster living in Smith Mountain Lake.  The film tries to shoehorn such sitcom-level humor together with the teary-eyed stuff, which means that a scene featuring the unfunny lake monster geeks is followed immediately by one of Vivian bawling over a box of withered rose petals as the maudin music swells, and we're expected to switch gears into "cry mode" just like that. 

The entire film is like an emotional check list with a series of crappy emo ballads telling us how we're supposed to feel so the script won't have to.  The dialogue is so lame that one running gag between the sisters consists of the "in bed" thing--if you haven't heard that one, don't feel bad for being lost. 

Disjointed editing shuffles us from one scene to the next like an impatient tour guide, while the acting itself, with the possible exception of Thompson and Fahey, is surprisingly awful--Madeline Zima in particular just doesn't come off very well here.  Casper Van Dien is okay in a subplot featuring him as Sara's corporate pretty-boy fiance' Ash, who conveniently becomes the film's bad guy when it's discovered that he...well, I won't give away the big twist.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with English Dolby 5.1 and French 2.0 sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Bonus features include some deleted scenes and a featurette, "The Ripple Effect: The Making of 'Lake Effects'." 

As much as I hate chick flicks, I'll give a good one the benefit of the doubt if it's clearly a cut above the rest.  But when you hook one as dull and dumb as LAKE EFFECTS, my advice is to throw it back.


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LAKE EFFECTS -- DVD review by porfle

PIRANHA 3DD -- DVD review by porfle

What if they made a SyFy Channel original movie but with a much bigger budget, and they got John Gulager (FEAST) to direct it, and he spent half the extra money on better SPFX and the other half on pure, unadulterated stupid? 

Well, 2012's PIRANHA 3DD (or, just PIRANHA DD if you're watching the flat version) may not be a SyFy Channel flick but it might as well be one because, for me anyway, it exists in the same goofy, insubstantial "take it or leave it" zone as all the sharktocrocs and dinogators.

Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) returns home from college to find that her sleazy stepdad Chet (David Koechner) has stocked their family-owned water park with "water-certified strippers" as lifeguards and has installed a special Adult Pool that's like an aquatic nudie bar. 

With the park's grand opening looming, marine biologist Maddy discovers that the underground lake Chet's been illegally drilling into for free water also contains ravenous prehistoric piranha that threaten to start chowing down on all those tasty pool patrons.

With an opening that features Gary Busey and Clu Gulager as old-timers accidentally blowing up a flatulence-spewing cow (which also happens to be filled with piranha eggs), you'd expect PIRANHA 3DD to be a total spoof from start to finish. 

But despite all the farcical touches--including a corpulent park employee who's constantly humping the water jets and ends up with a live piranha lodged up his ying-yang--much of it is played straight, or at least as straight as the more "serious" movies of this kind. 

Teenagers pair off and get attacked before, during, and after sex, with the usual lame attempts at comedy relief thrown in before the carnage begins.  Since we've seen all this stuff a thousand times before, and since the movie isn't doing much to funny it up more than usual, it's not all that exciting. 

Only when virginal Shelby (Katrina Bowden) and Josh (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) finally go "all the way" after their initial aborted attempt does something really over-the-top occur, which may have viewers of both genders crossing their legs.

Maddy, whose story is also told pretty much straight here, gets young cop Kyle (Chris Zylka) and nerdy park employee Barry (Matt Bush), who's had a crush on her since childhood, to help her try and head off the impending piranha attack.  They visit an expert on the subject played by Christopher Lloyd, who, believe it or not, actually gives one of the more subdued performances in the film as the usual "Mr. Wizard" type who supplies us with all the exposition we need to prepare us for what's to come. 

Naturally, the big draw here is the extravaganza of blood 'n' guts that will take place on the water park's opening day, and director Gulager pretty much goes all out with the gore effects along with the expected shots of big, bouncing double-D's coming at the camera in glorious slow-motion 3D.  The sequence is a frenetic, choppily-edited mess really, but by this point it doesn't really matter as long as there's lots of gory stuff happening and plenty of T and A flying at us. 

Oddly, it's here that the film finally becomes the all-out comedy we expect, with David Hasselhoff hilariously spoofing his "Baywatch" image as a guest celebrity lifeguard (and appearing to enjoy himself immensely while doing it) and Ving Rhames reprising his role as the now-legless Sheriff Fallon from the 2010 PIRANHA remake, picking the wrong day to try and overcome his fear of water ("I ain't afraid of no punk-ass water," he chants to himself before the piranha attack).  The final gag is, admittedly, pretty outlandish.

The 3D Blu-Ray/Blu-Ray/DVD (plus Digital Copy) 3-disc combo pack from Anchor Bay and the Weinsteins is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras include a filmmakers' commentary track, deleted scenes, a short film featuring John McEnroe, and the following featurettes--"The Story Behind the DD", "The Hofftastic World of David Hasselhoff", "Wet and Wild with David Koechner", and "Busey's Bloopers."  The marathon end credits crawl also features lots of bloopers, outtakes, etc. 

PIRANHA 3DD isn't the worst film of its kind I've ever seen, but it's far from being the best.  (Actually, I'm not even sure what the "best" film of this particular kind would look like.)  It looks pretty good, is competently made, and has just about everything we expect from it, all coming at us in 3D.  But somehow it just isn't quite as entertaining as those low-budget exploitation flicks with Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley that usually ended up on USA's "Up All Night."


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PIRANHA 3DD -- DVD review by porfle