THE STEAM ENGINES OF OZ -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/31/18

 

THE STEAM ENGINES OF OZ (Cinedigm, 2018) is one of those dystopian Oz tales in which L. Frank Baum's wonderful fairytale land has gone to pot and needs someone to restore the magic.

And much like writer-director Sean Patrick O'Reilly's HOWARD LOVECRAFT AND THE FROZEN KINGDOM, it's also one of those modestly-rendered digital cartoons that will probably look decidedly low-tech to someone who's more used to lush, polished Disney and Pixar product.  (Although, ironically, it would've looked amazingly cutting-edge back in the "dawn of CGI" days of the 80s.)

As such, the character/background design and execution are of uneven quality throughout, with the underground and city sequences looking the best and the forest/battle scenes often having a somewhat unfinished look.  Not surprisingly, the film's steampunk angle is one of its most appealing elements.

The story begins in the vast subterranean world beneath the Emerald City, where a plucky young "Mary Sue" type named Victoria, whose job it is to help keep the city's massive steam engines running, is chosen by good witch Locasta and her flying monkeys to help defeat the city's tyrannical ruler and restore order to Oz.

Surprisingly, this dreaded tyrant is none other than the Tin Man, who rules with an iron fist (so to speak) in his quest to abolish magic and spread his steam-engine technology throughout the land to the detriment of the environment (giving the story an ecological slant).

A flashback in black-and-white motion-comic form--one of the film's best-looking sequences--explains Tin Man's motives (he's doing it all for love) but that doesn't lessen the image of him as a snarling metal monster (more of a sinister, hulking Doctor Doom than the benevolent little tin fellow we're used to) trying his best to chop the good-guy characters to pieces with his massive axe during the big battle sequence that occurs about halfway through the story. 

The film doesn't hold back on such imagery, portraying Tin Man's armies as goose-stepping fascists wielding lethal weapons (indeed, in one scene a likable main character is melodramatically shot to death with a lightning-bolt rifle).

Leading up to all of this, Victoria emerges "topside" for the first time in her life so that she can escape the Emerald City and seek out the help of the Munchkins as well as that of the fabled Wizard of Oz (here voiced by none other than William Shatner). 

Accompanied by her friends Mr. Digg and a comical Munchkin named Gromit, whom she freed from their dungeon cells as "honored guests" of the Tin Man, Victoria enlists the aid of Magnus, son of the Cowardly Lion, and the rest of his pack in what will eventually lead to the aforementioned battle with Tin Man's forces as THE STEAM ENGINES OF OZ becomes a bonafide war movie.

During all this we'll recognize obvious callbacks to various other action movies such as THE MATRIX, 300, and KILL BILL.  At one point, one of the Munchkin leaders exhorts his troops with the phrase, "Let's go, Munchspendables!"

Later, Victoria and company return to the Emerald City, entering Tin Man's dreaded steam engine chamber in search of the imprisoned Scarecrow and resuming the film's "quest" theme, which will eventually be resolved in a "love conquers all" ending.

I'm not sure how little kids will respond to THE STEAM ENGINES OF OZ, since it seems aimed mainly at those who read the graphic novel and/or prefer their Oz stories with a hefty dose of adult grit and grime.  I spent most of its running time reacting to it rather than actually enjoying it, my assessment varying as wildly as the gauges on one of Tin Man's smoldering steam engines. 


CAST
Ron Perlman ("Sons of Anarchy," Hellboy)
William Shatner ("Star Trek," Miss Congeniality)
Julianne Hough ("Dancing with the Stars," Footloose)

PROGRAM INFORMATION
Format: BD+DVD / Digital (iTunes, Amazon, Vudu and more)
SRP: BD+DVD:$19.97
Running Time: 75 mins.
Genre: Animation/Family
Audio: Dolby 5.1
Aspect Ratio: 16x9 (1.78:1)
Subtitles: English
Extras: none
Street Date: June 5, 2018

THE STEAM ENGINES OF OZ -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

Mr. Spock At His Most Pointlessly Pedantic (Star Trek: "That Which Survives", 1969)

 

Star Trek's writers often enjoyed having a little fun with Spock's character...

...usually by contrasting his precise, stoic manner with that of his emotional human crewmates.

But in this episode, it's possible that they went just a tad overboard.

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Mr. Spock At His Most Pointlessly Pedantic (Star Trek: "That Which Survives", 1969)

The Best Scene In "Star Trek" History? ("The Doomsday Machine", 1967) (video)

Captain Kirk (William Shatner) is aboard the wrecked starship USS Constellation...

...and has aimed it directly into the maw of a renegade war machine headed for Earth.

The ship's is rigged to explode with a 30-second delay, but the transporter is acting up...
...making this an extremely perilous course of action for Kirk.

Sol Kaplan's excellent musical score is one of the best ever written for television.

The SPFX in this episode have since been updated with CGI...
...but many Trek fans much prefer these original effects.

Some shots use a model kit replica of the Enterprise.
Dramatic license is used in the countdown to show simultaneous events.

Many Star Trek fans regard this as the series' best episode ever.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

The Best Scene In "Star Trek" History? ("The Doomsday Machine", 1967) (video)

Shatner Vs. Shatner: Duel To The Death ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

For half-breed twins Johnny Moon and Notah (William Shatner)...

...mortal enemies in a clash of good against evil...

...the time has come for a duel to the death.



Which Shatner will win?


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Shatner Vs. Shatner: Duel To The Death ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

TWIN SHATNERS: Five Different Ones (video)

If one William Shatner is good...

...then two William Shatners is great!

And we were treated to this at least five different times:


Star Trek: The Original Series, "The Enemy Within" (1966)

Star Trek: The Original Series, "What Are Little Girls Made Of?" (1966)

Star Trek: The Original Series, "Whom Gods Destroy" (1969)

"White Comanche" (1968)

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)


Read our review of "White Comanche" HERE!




Originally posted on 12/29/19
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

TWIN SHATNERS: Five Different Ones (video)

Something Not Quite Right About "STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE" (1979) (video)

A standing joke in "Star Trek" has always been Dr. McCoy's fear...

...of getting his "molecules scrambled" in the transporter.

The gag is revisited in "The Motion Picture"...

...even though, mere hours before...

...two people got their molecules scrambled permanently.

All things considered, we're with Bones on this one.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Something Not Quite Right About "STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE" (1979) (video)

"Star Trek III: The Search For Spock" With A "CHiPs" Ending (video)

 

 

 Here's another Star Trek "Foolie" with a humorous "what if." Or something like that.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"Star Trek III: The Search For Spock" With A "CHiPs" Ending (video)

My Favorite Scene From My Favorite Episode Of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"

 

"Where Silence Has Lease" (S2/E2) was written by Gene Roddenberry and "Wrath of Khan" co-writer Jack B. Sowards.

It's one of Star Trek: The Next Generation's darkest and most suspenseful episodes.

This is due in large part to a superb score by Ron Jones...

...and one of the series' most nail-biting countdown endings.

 

 

"Star Trek: The Next Generation" owned by Paramount Pictures.

Video by Porfle Popnecker.  I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

My Favorite Scene From My Favorite Episode Of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"

WHITE COMANCHE -- movie review by porfle

Originally posted on 11/2/09
 

In 1966, William Shatner starred as Captain James T. Kirk in episode #5 of "Star Trek:The Original Series", entitled "The Enemy Within", in which a transporter malfunction split him into two people--the good Kirk and the evil Kirk. Two years later, this wealth of Shatners continued when he traveled to Spain during a series hiatus and portrayed twin half-breed brothers in a low-budget, badly-directed and photographed Western called WHITE COMANCHE (1968). Once again, it was a face-off between good and evil Shatners, and a chance for him to lavish us with a double-dose of that eccentric acting style we all know and love.

How bad is this movie? The opening seconds give a good indication since it looks like we're about to see one of those home-movie-quality documentaries about Bigfoot that used to play in smalltown drive-ins. But instead of a big, hairy monster, we see Shatner as Johnny Moon, dressed in denim cowboy duds and riding a horse through the wilderness, while one of the worst movie scores ever written begins to massacre our brain cells. Suddenly he is set upon by a group of men who put a noose around his neck because they think he's his twin brother Notah Moon, who goes around with his band of renegade Comanches and kills the "pale eyes" for fun. Johnny gets away and rides to Notah's camp to await his return, because he's had it up to here with getting blamed for his brother's murderous shenanigans and is itching for a showdown.

Meanwhile, Notah and his motley crew of cut-ups have just attacked a stagecoach and shot all the drivers and passengers except for a beautiful young saloon babe named Kelly (the way-hot Argentinian actress Rosanna Yani), whom Notah gleefully rapes after slapping her around for awhile. It's weird seeing Bad Shatner here, looking like someone dressed in a half-assed Indian costume for Halloween, yelping "Hi-yi-yi!" and wearing that same goofy expression Captain Kirk used to have whenever he was a little too happy for some reason. He would again appear in a similar outfit later that year in the "Star Trek" episode "The Paradise Syndrome", in which the amnesia-stricken Kirk lives among a tribe of space Indians who believe him to be a god named "Kirok."


Anyway, Notah and his men eventually wander back to camp, which looks more like a dumpy commune full of hostile hippies than an Indian encampment. His wife, White Fawn (Perla Cristal, another Argentinian), who appears as though she might be more at home hanging around a bowling alley in the Bronx, has his peyote ready for him. With it, Notah sees glorious visions of his people conquering the pale eyes, and his stirring exhortations of this impending victory, usually delivered while standing on a big rock, keep his followers all jazzed up and ready for action.

But Johnny steps on Notah's buzz by not only criticizing his copious drug use ("Eat the peyote, drug of the Devil...dream your dreams of hate"), but also by challenging him to a showdown in the nearby town of Rio Hondo in four days. After they diss each other for awhile, both enunciating in that rich, familiar Shatner cadence flavored with pseudo-Indian inflections--

"Notah is well-named...his liver is white, like his Yankee father...his heart burns blacker than the skin of his Comanche mother. He's white-bellied, like his name...'The Snake.'"

"Notah's brother talks like the white man he thinks he is. He's afraid...to be Comanche."

--Notah accepts the challenge. In four days, it'll be Shatner vs. Shatner on the streets of Rio Hondo.

On his way to town, Johnny comes upon a group of men getting ready to hang a guy, which seems to be the main source of entertainment in these parts. He outdraws a couple of goons and rescues the corpulent fellow, who explains that the men work for his boss' competitor, and the two big-shot land barons are getting ever closer to all-out war. Later in town, one of the land barons offers Johnny a job, but their negotiations are interrupted when the saloon babe, Kelly, grabs a gun and starts shooting at Johnny because she thinks he's Notah. Then he gets into a big barroom brawl with one of the guys who was about to hang the fat guy earlier, and they demolish every stick of breakaway furniture in the whole place.

Shatner seems to be doing his own stunts here, flying through bannisters and crashing through tables, which is interesting. He's also fighting in that odd, stylized way that Kirk used to do on Star Trek, which looks rather strange at times. After he whups the tar out of his opponent, Johnny finally convinces Kelly that he isn't Notah, because his eyes are a different color (Johnny's are brown, Notah's are black--like his eee-vil soul). Needless to say, they begin to fall in love.

Trying to keep the two warring factions from each other's throats while keeping a suspicious eye on Johnny is Sheriff Logan, played by top-billed Joseph Cotten. A veteran of such classics as CITIZEN KANE, THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS, and GASLIGHT, as well as scores of lesser films and TV appearances, Cotten gives the closest thing to a good performance in WHITE COMANCHE, although that's not saying much considering the competition. I don't know how in blue blazes he ended up in this--maybe he just felt like a vacation in Spain, or maybe the producer was holding his family hostage. At any rate, I doubt if he considered this one of the high points of his career.


As Johnny waits for Notah's imminent arrival, the tension between the two land barons and their men finally explodes into a big, sloppily-staged gun battle in the middle of town, with lot of guys getting shot between the eyes (it seems like anyone who gets shot in this movie gets shot right between the eyes) and falling over balconies and off of roofs and stuff. I never could figure out why getting shot always caused guys to fly forward off of balconies and roofs--it must be some weird Western law of physics that they don't teach us about in school for some reason.

When the dust settles, a whole bunch of guys are dead and the local undertaker will soon be able to afford that summer home in Miami Beach. Johnny is aces with Sheriff Logan now for helping out, and Kelly is ready to settle down with him and start pumping out a bunch of little Johnnies. But all isn't peachy-keen just yet, because here comes Notah, all hopped up on peyote and ready to take Johnny on in a fight to the death. ("You are as the wild duck that sits on the pond," Johnny tells Notah as he draws a bead on him from a bell tower.) Johnny shucks off his white-guy duds and straps on an official Indian headband so that we can't tell the two brothers apart during the exciting battle, stretching our already-frazzled nerves to the breaking point. (Or something like that.) Shouting "Hi-yi-yi!", the two warring Shatners ride toward each other on horseback, guns blazing, and...

...you'll just have to see for yourself how it turns out, which I'm sure you'll be aching to do as soon as possible after reading this. Whether you're a bad movie fan, a member of The First Church Of Shatnerology, or simply a masochist, WHITE COMANCHE is one Western you'll be wanting to get your grubby little hands on. This mind-warping tale of dueling Shatners is the perfect movie to stick into the old DVD player next time you want to get the guys together for a little do-it-yourself MST3K action.

Buy it at Amazon.com

WHITE COMANCHE -- movie review by porfle

"Leave It To V'Ger": A Star Trek Foolie (video)

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

"Leave It To V'Ger": A Star Trek Foolie (video)

Star Trek's "The Trouble With Tribbles" With A "CHiPS" Ending (video)

 

You know that "laugh it up" ending of "The Trouble With Tribbles"?

It always reminded me of the end of a "CHiPS" episode, but without the "CHiPS" theme and the freeze-frames.

And now, here they are! And all's right with the world.

Video by Porfle Popnecker
From An Idea by Clark West

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.
Thanks for watching!

Star Trek's "The Trouble With Tribbles" With A "CHiPS" Ending (video)

"VIEWER OFF!: A Star Trek Foolie" (From "STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE", 1979) (video)

 

The assembled crew of the Enterprise witness the terrible sight...

...of a Federation space station being destroyed by the all-powerful V'Ger.

To make matters worse, Admiral Kirk's order to turn off the viewer goes unheeded...

...leading to several moments of awkward silence...

...followed by a surprise accidental transmission.


All rights to Star Trek belong to Paramount Pictures.

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"VIEWER OFF!: A Star Trek Foolie" (From "STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE", 1979) (video)

Star-Studded Voice Cast Fights a Bloody Battle In "TO YOUR LAST DEATH" October 6th -- Watch Trailer HERE!

Baccarin, Moseley, Wise & Shatner Fight "To Your Last Death"

Celebrated Voice Cast Bathes Animated Horror Film in Blood

Available Nationwide on Blu-ray October 6th from Quiver Distribution
Available Now on Digital HD and Cable VOD

"A strikingly animated, carnage-filled romp that mashes up genres and packs some nice surprises" -- Dread Central

"a hyper violent thrill ride...wows with a clever script and remarkable vocal performances" --  Film Threat

"Great animation that will have any horror or comic book fan happy" -- Nightmarish Conjurings
 
  
Los Angeles, CA - Following a wildly successful run on the global film festival circuit, having netted over two dozen awards and 60 nominations, Coverage Ink and Quiver Distribution have announced the Blu-ray release of Jason Axinn's To Your Last Death.  The blood-splattered, timewarped animated family drama will be available nationwide October 6th on Blu-ray.  It is currently available on a number of digital and cable platforms, including iTunes, Amazon Video, Vudu, Comcast, Spectrum, and Cox.

WATCH THE OFFICIAL TRAILER:



To Your Last Death combines a wildly imaginative script with eye-popping animation. The film is anchored by a first-class voice cast: Morena Baccarin (Deadpool, "Firefly", "Gotham") as the mysterious Gamemaster, Ray Wise ("Twin Peaks", Batman: The Killing Joke, Robocop), Dani Lennon (The Love Witch, Bite Me), Bill Moseley (House of 1000 Corpses, Repo! The Genetic Opera, The Devil's Rejects), and William Shatner (the "Star Trek" franchise, "The Practice") as the sadistic Overseer.

Of her time in the recording booth, Baccarin shared, "What drew me to this project was how dark it was. This idea that we can be finger puppets, that somebody could be up there, wreaking chaos in our lives... Obviously, it's a fantasy world, and it's always fun to do something that's completely unrealistic and at the same time plays with themes from reality. I enjoyed this character because one could say she's evil -- she's doing these terrible things -- but she's really just doing her job. It's not about emotion, and it's not about being mean or terrible to people. It's about entertainment, and in a weird way, I thought it would be really fun to attempt vocally to do that."

"If you can make people feel that they could die horribly, that's scary. That's close to the bone," added Shatner.

To Your Last Death had its world premiere at the Arrow Video FrightFest in London, beginning a global tour of critical and audience acclaim.  The film has taken home over twenty awards to date including Best Film at the Northeast Film Festival Horror Fest and Horror Avenue Film Festival, Best Horror Film at Vidi Space Film Festival, Bloodstained Indie Film Fest and the Big Apple Film Festival, Best Supporting Actor (Wise), Best Villain and Best Writing at Hexploitation, Fearmaker of the Year at Spooky Empire, and Best Feature Screenplay and Best Sound at FilmQuest.  To Your Last Death was also nominated for Best Feature at the Pasadena International Film Festival in addition to Best Feature, Best Director and Best First-time Filmmaker at HorrorHound.

To Your Last Death was produced by Coverage Ink Films and directed by Jason Axinn, from a script by Coverage Ink's Tanya Klein and Jim Cirile.  Axinn produced alongside Cindi Rice and Paige Barnett.   Tanya Klein, James Cirile, and John Frank Rosenblum served as executive producers.

After emerging as the sole survivor in a deadly revenge game set up by her father to punish his children, Miriam receives an offer from a supernatural entity to go back in time and try again.  Now, Miriam must survive both her father's blood lust and the Gamemaster's ever-changing rules to save her siblings as she relives the worst night of her life.


Order To Your Last Death on Amazon


Each Blu-ray purchase will come with a redemption code to over 4 hours of digital extras, including:  an audio commentary with director Jason Axinn, a Zoom panel with Axinn, star Dani Lennon and others, an interview with star William Shatner, interviews and behind the scenes with stars Morena Baccarin, Ray Wise, Bill Moseley, Dani Lennon and Florence Hartigan, a behind the scenes reel, comic con panels, an animation demo with lead animator Mohammad Ali Sharifpour, unused artwork and animation, crowdfunding highlights, featurettes on the development of the film, and more.

To Your Last Death:  92 minutes / USA / English

16x9 1.78:1 / 5.1 Surround / English SDH

Star-Studded Voice Cast Fights a Bloody Battle In "TO YOUR LAST DEATH" October 6th -- Watch Trailer HERE!

"KHAAAAAAN!!!: A Star Trek Foolie" (From "Wrath Of Khan", 1982) (video)

We all remember the scene where Kirk screams "KHAAAAAAN!!!"

But there's a special extended version that nobody knows about.

Mainly because we just made it up.

And now, here it is for Star Trek fans everywhere to cherish.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"KHAAAAAAN!!!: A Star Trek Foolie" (From "Wrath Of Khan", 1982) (video)

Shatner Vs. Shatner: Half-Breed Twins In A War Of Words ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

Johnny Moon (Shatner) confronts his evil brother Notah (also Shatner).

Shatner is really in his acting element here.

The stilted dialogue is rife with colorful and oddly-worded putdowns.

We know that things just aren't going to end well between these two.

Read our review of the movie HERE.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Shatner Vs. Shatner: Half-Breed Twins In A War Of Words ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

Shatner Does Own Stunts In Wild West Saloon Brawl! ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

Half-breed Johnny Moon (William Shatner) is mistaken for his evil twin brother, Notah.

In the fierce saloon brawl that follows...

...Shatner appears to be doing all of his own stunts.

Read our review of the movie here.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Shatner Does Own Stunts In Wild West Saloon Brawl! ("White Comanche", 1968) (video)

PORFLE PRESENTS: EVERY EPISODE OF THE ORIGINAL "STAR TREK" IN ONE SCENE

CAPTAIN'S LOG, STARDATE 29.43.01:

While transporting much-needed medical supplies to planet Regula IV, which is being ravaged by a deadly plague, I've ordered the Enterprise into an uncharted sector of the galaxy in order to save time.

McCOY: "Well, Jim, the rest of the crew have had their quarterly physicals. Now are you going to come quietly, or do I have to have a security team drag you to sickbay?"

KIRK: "Not now, Bones. I...feel...we may be in danger."

SPOCK: "'Feel', Captain? Logically, your human emotions are hardly a reliable indicator of--"

CHEKOV: "Kepten, an alien wessel is approaching!"

KIRK: "On screen. Uhura, open a channel."

UHURA: "Hailing frequencies open, sir."

KIRK: "Uhura, open another channel."

UHURA: "Hailing frequencies open, sir."

SPOCK: "No response."

SULU: "All scans negative."

KIRK: "Hmmm...to be or not to be. That is the question."

SPOCK: (wry half-smile) "Shakespeare, Captain?"

KIRK: "Tactics, Mr. Spock. Do we fire phasers now...or wait. For. A. Response."

McCOY: "Blast it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a waiter!"

SPOCK: "Really, Doctor. Your emotions will be your undoing."

McCOY: "Why, you green-blooded, pointy-eared --"

KIRK: "Gentlemen. You can argue later. If. There. Is. A. 'Later.' Sulu, lock phasers on target and stand by."

SULU: "Phasers locked."

YEOMAN RAND: "Captain, I have your afternoon dietary supplement--"

KIRK: "Not now, yeoman! Meet me in my quarters at 0500 hours. Uhura, open a channel."

UHURA: "Hailing frequencies open, sir."

BEAUTIFUL ALIEN AMBASSADOR: "I love you, Kee-Urk!"

KIRK: "Not now, Empress Adora! Meet me in my quarters at 0600--"

SPOCK: "Sir, we are being held in a tractor beam."

SULU: "Hull pressure readings at 80 percent...90 percent...off the dial."

CHEKOV: "AAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

KIRK: "Chekov! What's the matter?"

CHEKOV: "I beet my wittle tonk, Kepten!"

KIRK: "Sickbay, send a medical team to the bridge! Sulu, get us out of here!"

SULU: "Aye, Captain!"

KIRK: "No, I 'Captain.' You 'Sulu.'"

UHURA: "Captain, I'm...frightened."

SPOCK: "We can't break free. Hull temperature approaching critical levels. Warp engines super-heating."

KIRK: "Scotty! You have thirty seconds to fix those engines or we're all dead."

SCOTTY: [on intercom] "Ach, me poor bairns! We canna take mooch moor o' this poundin', Captoon! Me bonny ship'll explood lack a pub-crawlin' bogus frat wi' a snootful o' green --"

UHURA: "We're being hailed, Captain."

KIRK: "Open a channel."

UHURA: "Hailing frequencies open, sir."

KIRK: "Enterprise to alien vessel. Your actions are harmful to us. If you don't --"

ALIEN: "SILENCE! YOU HAVE ENCROACHED UPON OUR DOMAIN! YOUR SHIP WILL NOW BE CAPTURED AND YOUR CREW ENSLAVED!"

KIRK: "Computer...initiate self-destruct sequence."

SPOCK: "Oh, f***."

[commercial break]

PORFLE PRESENTS: EVERY EPISODE OF THE ORIGINAL "STAR TREK" IN ONE SCENE