"SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN" on Blu-ray & DVD on January 8th from Anchor Bay

Based On The True Story Behind The Biggest Manhunt In American History…

ANCHOR BAY ENTERTAINMENT and THE WEINSTEIN COMPANY PRESENT SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN ON BLU-RAY™ AND DVD

 A Gripping Portrayal Of The Real-Life Mission Authorized by President Obama, SEAL Team Six: The Raid On Osama Bin Laden Heads To Retail On January 8, 2013!


BEVERLY HILLS, CA – Anchor Bay Entertainment and The Weinstein Company announced today the Blu-ray™ and DVD release of SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN, from director John Stockwell (Into The Blue) and Academy Award®-winning producer of The Hurt Locker, Nicolas Chartier.  Based on true events, framed by real-time footage, SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN, recounts the dramatic behind-the-scenes decisions that brought the world’s most wanted man to justice. 
Starring Cam Gigandet (Burlesque), Anson Mount (AMC’s “Hell on Wheels”), Freddy Rodriguez (Grindhouse), Xzibit (Derailed), Kathleen Robertson (The Starz Original Series, “Boss”), Eddie Kay Thomas (American Pie) and Kenneth Miller (The Company You Keep), the feature-length film heads to retail on January 8, 2013 for an SRP of $24.99 for the Blu-ray™ and $19.98 for the DVD.

Premiering on the National Geographic Channel on November 4th, SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN became the network’s most-watched World Premiere movie in 2012, drawing 2.7 million viewers.  America’s very first look at the real story behind the historic manhunt and raid that took down al-Qaeda’s notorious leader, the events portrayed in SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN were vetted by a team of experts, including a recently retired Navy Seal, a top CIA operative, and one of the most renowned bin Laden historians.

A break in the manhunt for Osama bin Laden serves as the backdrop for the gripping story about an extraordinary group of U.S. Navy SEALs who undertake the mission of a lifetime.  Despite inconclusive evidence that bin Laden is inside the compound, and ignoring the possible ramifications of an unannounced attack on Pakistani soil, the Pentagon orders the attack.  SEAL Team Six bands together in the most daring military operation of our generation, completing their mission of justice in a riveting final showdown.

The SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN Blu-ray™ and DVD special features include a “The Making of Seal Team Six: The Raid On Osama Bin Laden” featurette.  Note: Special features are subject to change.

SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN BLU-RAY™
Street date:                               January 8, 2013
Pre-book:                                 December 12, 2012
Catalog #:                                 BD60265
UPC:                                        013132602653
Run time:                                  90 Minutes
Rating:                                      Not Rated
SRP:                                        $24.99
Format:                                    Widescreen Presentation
Audio:                                     5.1 DTSHD-MA

SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN DVD
Street date:                               January 8, 2013
Pre-book:                                 December 12, 2012
Catalog #:                                 WC60263
UPC:                                        013132602639
Run time:                                  90 Minutes
Rating:                                      Not Rated
SRP:                                        $19.98
Format:                                    Widescreen Presentation
Audio:                                     Dolby Digital 5.1

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"SEAL TEAM SIX: THE RAID ON OSAMA BIN LADEN" on Blu-ray & DVD on January 8th from Anchor Bay

CACHE' (HIDDEN) -- movie review by porfle

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2006.  Contains spoilers.)


Watching CACHE' (HIDDEN) (2005) is like reading a really intriguing mystery thriller and then discovering that not only has the author deliberately left out the last chapter, but it was never really a mystery thriller after all, silly. 

For most of the film's running time, director Michael Haneke (THE PIANO TEACHER) leads us to believe that we're watching a mystery that will eventually be resolved, but the joke's on us because it turns out to be a sociopolitical shaggy dog story--Haneke wants to comment on past mistreatment of Algerians by the French in particular, and racism in general--and our reward for sitting through it to a staggeringly inconclusive ending is a nagging puzzlement over its meaning.  Not about racism--that's bad, I get it--but about what the heck happens at the end of this story about a French family of three who suddenly start receiving anonymous videotapes that look like surveillance videos of their daily lives.

It seems the man of the family, Georges Laurent (Daniel Auteuil), has a dirty secret.  When he was a little boy, an Algerian family worked for his family, and when the parents were killed during a protest in which French police massacred many Algerian immigrants, Georges' parents decided to adopt their orphaned son, little Majid.  But Georges was jealous, so he told his parents bad things about Majid, and Majid was sent away. 

So now the Laurent family is getting these videotapes, and one of them shows an apartment house in another part of town.  A street sign is visible on the tape, and the video ends at the front door of a flat and reveals the apartment number.  Georges goes there and finds that the grown-up Majid (Maurice Bénichou) is living there.  But he claims not to have sent the tapes, and we believe him, although Georges warns him to desist.  Shortly thereafter, the Laurents receive another videotape of this conversation between Georges and Majid, taken by a hidden camera within Majid's apartment.

Later, the Laurents' son Pierrot disappears, and the parents have a fit, calling the police and having them roust Majid and his son and take them to jail.  But it turns out that Pierrot went to a friend's house to spend the night and neglected to tell his parents (or so he claims).  When his mother Anne (the wonderful Juliette Binoche, who played Catherine to Ralph Fiennes' Heathcliff in 1992's WUTHERING HEIGHTS) confronts him about this, he counters by accusing her of having an affair with a family friend, Pierre (Daniel Duval).  Is Pierrot involved in the making of the mysterious videotapes?  Does he want to prove to his mother that she is under his watchful eye?

Up until the point at which one of the characters does something truly and shockingly unexpected, I really thought I was watching one corker of a mystery.  All that was missing was the ending, but since CACHE' was so engaging until then, I was pretty certain that I was in for a dramatic revelation before the end credits, one that would cleverly explain everything and leave me with the satisfaction that comes from watching a good movie.  After all, nobody makes a mystery flick with a build-up like this and then just lets it come to a dead end, do they? 

But, as it turns out, we weren't supposed to expect a traditional "ending" after all--in fact, it was rather unsophisticated of us to do so.  Instead, we're supposed to think, "Oh, look at all these wonderful social and psychological loose ends for us to ponder.  Here is a truly unique filmmaker at work."  And the end is not only open, it's gaping.

The final shot is another surveillance-like view of Pierrot's school letting out. (Is it real, or is it another videotape?)  Kids come through the doors and hang around on the front steps, waiting to be picked up by their parents.  They stand there talking.  They wander around.  This is the point where, if something's going to happen, it has to happen now.  And then--the credits begin to roll. 

I rewound a few times to make sure I hadn't missed some vital piece of information that would make sense of everything.  Sure enough, if you look closely at the lower left side of the screen, and you've got pretty sharp vision, you'll recognize two of the people amidst the crowd talking with each other.  But this raises more questions than it answers, and if you're watching it in a theater and don't happen to notice it the first time, you're out of luck. 

CACHE' has won several awards and been critically acclaimed. 


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CACHE' (HIDDEN) -- movie review by porfle

CHRISTIE'S REVENGE -- movie review by porfle

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2008.)

From the Canadian producing team of Pierre David (SCANNERS) and Tom Berry comes another example of what they seem to do best these days, which is to put together moderately entertaining domestic thrillers that liven up the Lifetime Channel a bit before landing on DVD shelves. 
One of the better ones I've seen, CHRISTIE'S REVENGE (2007) comes from the prolific pen of screenwriter Christine Conradt, based on a story by Julia Stan & Glenn Pineau, and fulfills its purpose of keeping us entertained for a couple of hours.

Poor Christie...first her mom walked out on the family, and now her dad has popped a cap in his own ass, leaving Christie lonely, confused, and extremely angry.  She ends up living with her kindly uncle Ray (John Wesley Shipp of TV's "The Flash") and aunt Miranda (Cynthia Gibb), which would be lovely except that Ray, whom she blames for her father's suicide, is the person she's extremely angry with. 

And with the help of a devious, money-hungry blonde named Selene (Anastasia Phillips), Christie sets into motion a complex scheme to totally ruin Ray's life.  What we don't know at first, though, is just how far she plans to go.

This is one of those movies that gives us most of our information up front and then simply lets events play themselves out, and in this case being able to predict what's going to happen next only adds to the suspense.  Still, there are a few surprises here and there, such as why Christie's father really killed himself and just how far she's planning to go in exacting her revenge.  Which turns out to be pretty far. 

It's all nicely-done and fairly involving for a TV flick of this kind, leading inexorably to a life-or-death finish that had me inching toward the edge of my seat.  Not completely up to the edge, mind you, but pretty close.

The acting is adequate as this type of story doesn't really require stellar performances.  John Wesley Shipp, whom I always liked from "The Flash" and his soap opera days (yes, I am a recovering soap-a-holic), is a solid Mr. Nice Guy type.  Cynthia Gibb is pretty good, too, although it makes me feel a little old seeing her playing the mom here--I still picture her as the plucky young ingenue.  Annie Bovaird plays Ray and Miranda's bratty, belligerent daughter Haley, who manages to overcome her "I-can't-stand-her" status when she begins to suspect cousin Christie and dig up usefully incriminating stuff on her. 

As Christie, Dani Kind does a nice job of alternating between artificial sweetness and creepy, glaring malevolence. Ironically, in the earlier Lifetime domestic thriller MAID OF HONOR, she herself played the suspicious young daughter trying to expose Linda Purl's two-faced villainess before she could wreck her family.  Here, she graduates to the bad girl role and makes it her own.

Not content with simple blackmail or even framing the hapless Ray for murder, Christie eventually reveals the sinister depth of her evil intent as it builds to its deadly conclusion while Miranda races against time to stop her.  Although the DVD box indicates that CHRISTIE'S REVENGE is being marketed as another HARD CANDY, it isn't.  It's simply a Lifetime Channel-type psychological thriller which should be aimed at the people who go for this kind of thing, because as far as that goes, this one delivers.


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CHRISTIE'S REVENGE -- movie review by porfle

Anchor Bay Entertainment Presents "Seeds of Destruction" on Blu-ray and DVD February 19th!

Get ready to see the roots of evil!

On February 19th, Anchor Bay Entertainment releases the unforgettable eco-shocker Seeds of Destruction on Blu-ray™ and DVD. This earth shaking tale of a monstrous plant life gone wild originally aired on the Syfy channel and stars Adrian Pasdar (“Heroes”), Jesse Moss (The Andromeda Strain), James Morrison (“24”) and Stefanie von Pfetten (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief). The SRP for the Blu-ray™ is $24.99 and $19.98 for DVD. The pre-book is January 23rd.

When a fringe scientist releases a prehistoric seed, it unleashes a horrific root system that rips through Nevada like an earthquake and devastates everything in its path. Now a hard-nosed government agent, a desperate plant expert and a pair of young environmentalists must find a way to stop its destructive growth. The military cannot kill it. Shattered chunks regenerate to thousands of feet tall. But is this biblical green behemoth headed for an even more catastrophic life source?

Directed by Paul Ziller (Ice Quake)  and co-staring James Morrison (“24”) and Jesse Moss (Tucker &  Dale vs. Evil)  Seeds of Destruction proves you can’t fool with Mother Nature.

Seeds of Destruction Blu-ray
Street Date:                  February 19, 2013
Pre-Book:                     January 23, 2013
UPC #:                         01313260068080
Item:                            BD60068
Audio:                          Dolby TrueHD 5.1
Subtitles:                      English SDH and Spanish
Retail Price:                  $24.99
Genre:                          Sci-Fi
Rating:                          PG-13
Run Time:                     91
Year:                            2011

Seeds of Destruction DVD
Street Date:                  February 19, 2013
Pre-Book:                     January 23, 2013
UPC #:                         01313260067380
Item:                            DV60067
Audio:                          Dolby Digital 5.1
Subtitles:                      English SDH and Spanish
Retail Price:                  $19.98
Genre:                          Sci-Fi
Rating:                          PG-13
Run Time:                     91
Year:                            2011


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Anchor Bay Entertainment Presents "Seeds of Destruction" on Blu-ray and DVD February 19th!

Acorn TV streams Helen Mirren’s Prime Suspect, Hugh Laurie, Damian Lewis, Keira Knightley, Tom Wilkinson and more Best Brit TV

“Acorn Media, chief curators of the best Brit TV” –TIME Magazine


Starting Monday, Acorn TV, the first British TV streaming service in North America, offered the first two series of Helen Mirren’s iconic, Emmy®-winning role as Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect. Series 1 guest stars also include Tom Wilkinson and Ralph Fiennes. As always, the first episodes of each of the 18 series are available for free, while complete access to the 125 hours of the very best in British mysteries and dramas is just $2.99/mth or $29.99/yr.

Currently streaming: The complete series of Fortysomething starring Hugh Laurie (House) and Benedict Cumberbatch (BBC’s Sherlock); the “Outrageously Entertaining” (NPR) Slings & Arrows, featuring Paul Gross, Rachel McAdams, and Mark McKinney; the North American premiere of Midsomer Murders, Set 21; Fresh Fields starring Julia McKenzie and Anton Rodgers; the complete 40-episode Pie in the Sky series starring Harry Potter’s Richard Griffiths; as well as Keira Knightley and Sam Neill in Doctor Zhivago; Sally Hawkins (Happy-Go-Lucky) and Oscar-nominee Imelda Staunton (Vera Drake) in Fingersmith; David Suchet in Agatha Christie’s Poirot; Tom Wilkinson in First Among Equals; the final episodes of Lynda La Plante’s Trial & Retribution; among many others.

Acorn TV recently announced an increase of programming by 200% since its launch in June 2011, the addition of a monthly option (just $2.99) and availability in Canada, and month-long marathons, like November’s Pie in the Sky complete 40-episode marathon. Acorn TV is available on Roku, iPhones, iPads, Barnes & Noble’s NOOK Tablet, Apple TV, Google TV, among others. AcornOnline.com/TV

Coming Nov. 19th to Acorn TV:

Robson Green in Northern Lights Collection and Touching Evil Series 3 as well as Rosemary & Thyme (Series 1-3) and Kelly Reilly and Ciaran Hinds in Above Suspicion Set 1


DVD Gift Sets:

Acorn Media is releasing several of our best-selling series in some of our nicest and biggest value-priced sets ever. They include:

·         Agatha Christie’s Poirot: The Early Cases Collection - 45 mysteries, 13-Disc Blu-ray $250, 18-Disc DVD $200, Series 1-6 (Oct. 23)

·         The Complete Red Green Show: High (Quality)/Quantity Collector’s Set – 50 discs, 300 episodes, 15 seasons, $300 (Oct. 16)

·         Wish Me Luck: The Complete Collection – 6-disc, $80, Series 1-3 (Oct. 23)

·         The Duchess of Duke Street Complete Collection – 31 episodes, 10 disc, $80 (Oct. 23)

·         As well as earlier 2012 releases: The Costume Drama Classic Collection (15 discs, $99), Joseph Campbell: Mythos-The Complete Series (6-disc, $99), The Best of Foyle’s War (6-discs, $50), Midsomer Murders: Mayhem & Mystery Files (15 feature-length mysteries, $150, Series 10-11), and Poldark: The Complete Collection (8-discs, $80).


Acorn Media/Athena DVD Release Calendar:

Oct. 16: Waterloo Road Series 1, Brave New World, The Complete Red Green Show, and Bill Moyers: A World of Ideas II-Great Thinkers

Oct. 23:  Agatha Christie’s Poirot: The Early Cases Collection (Series 1-6, DVD/Blu-ray), The Duchess of Duke Street Complete Collection, and Wish Me Luck: Complete Collection

Nov. 6: Vera Series 2, Narrow Escapes of WWII, and Cornwall with Caroline Quentin

Acorn’s and Athena’s DVD sets are available from select retailers, catalog companies, and direct from Acorn Media at (888) 870-8047 or www.acornonline.com and www.athenalearning.com.

Acorn TV streams Helen Mirren’s Prime Suspect, Hugh Laurie, Damian Lewis, Keira Knightley, Tom Wilkinson and more Best Brit TV

"The Millennium Bug" Crawls Onto DVD Dec. 18th

Green Apple Entertainment Proudly Presents "The Millennium Bug"

Y2K is the Least of Their Worries

No CGI Monster Fest Unleashing on DVD Dec. 18th

"… a refreshing old-school throwback to the last millennium."
- Fangoria
"Plays out like a love song to all of the horror films we all grew up watching."
- Ain't it Cool News

BOCA RATON - Dec. 1, 2012 - For Immediate Release - A little quiet time in the forest while the Y2K craze blew over is all this family wanted in the no CGI monster fest The Millennium Bug unleashing on DVD Dec. 18 from Green Apple Entertainment.

The Haskin family seeks refuge from Y2K hysteria in the isolated forests of the Sierra Diablos Mountains. Soon, however, the threat of technological shutdown is the least of their worries.

Abducted by a vicious hillbilly clan, the family battles for their lives … But neither they nor their captors can imagine the monstrous nightmare about to erupt from the bowels of the earth.

Now they must all join together if anyone is to survive!

The Millennium Bug is presented in widescreen with an aspect ratio of 16 x 9 (1.78:1) and 5.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound. 

Green Apple Entertainment is a leading international distributor of quality, independent entertainment on DVD, Blu-ray, download and streaming platforms and cable VOD. Headquartered in Boca Raton, Fla., Green Apple works directly with filmmakers to cultivate superior filmmaking for a variety of genres - including action, drama, romance, thrillers, horror/sci-fi, documentaries, family and animation - and fresh new viewing experiences for a diverse array of audiences. Green Apple was founded in 2005 by industry veteran Tim Warren.

The Millennium Bug
Green Apple Entertainment
Genre:  Sci-Fi/Horror
Not Rated
Format:  DVD Only
Running Time:  Approx. 88 Minutes
Suggested Retail Price:  $24.98
Pre-Order Date:  November 20, 2012
Street Date:  December 18, 2012
Catalog #:  GAE-F209
UPC Code:  #818768010083


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"The Millennium Bug" Crawls Onto DVD Dec. 18th

Let the Bad Times Roll With "CREEP VAN"--Coming to DVD December 11th

Inception Media Group Proudly Presents "Creep Van"

Buckle Up … It's Going to be a Bloody Ride! Screeching Onto DVD Dec. 11th

"A scary homage to '80s horror movies." - Chuck Walton,  Fandago
"This film rocks!"- HorrorNews.net

LOS ANGELES - Dec. 1, 2012 - Buckle up for a bumpy ride when Creep Van screeches onto DVD Dec. 11 from Inception Media Group.

Life without a car is murder … and nobody knows that better than Campbell Jackson, a 20-something, out-of-work, out-of-options misfit. Forced to take a dead-end job at a Detroit car wash, Campbell spies a dilapidated '70s van for sale and attempts to buy it.

Little does he know, it's the Creep Van, whose mysterious owner has been terrorizing locals-killing and torturing victims with a host of elaborate booby traps inside its rusted shell. For those unwilling to climb aboard, the Creep and his Van have no qualms about running folks down or smashing through walls.

Forced to team up with a sleazy conman to hunt down and stop the mayhem - before he and his girlfriend become the next victims - Campbell finds himself in for one hell of a bloody ride!

Directed by Scott McKinlay (Gag) and featuring special effects by Almost Human's Robert Hall (Laid to Rest, Chromeskull).

Creep Van is presented in widescreen with an aspect ratio of 16 x 9 (1.78:1) and 5.1 digital surround sound. Special features include "Anatomy of a Killer Van Smash" and "Creep Van: Under the Hood" featurettes, "Bits and Pieces" (interview with the actors), theatrical trailers, deleted scene and audio commentary by the filmmakers.

About Inception Media Group
Inception Media Group, LLC is based in Santa Monica, Calif., and is a diversified media company specializing in the production, acquisition and distribution of motion pictures and other filmed entertainment across all media platforms and channels of distribution. Inception Media Group's management team has extensive relationships with exhibitors, retailers, distributors and technology companies, enabling the company to maximize the services performed on behalf of its content partners. Inception Digital Services, LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Inception Media Group, provides a wide range of digital encoding, electronic packaging and high-speed delivery services and possesses certified delivery access to all major online, broadcast media and VOD platforms. More information is available at www.inceptionmediagroup.com

Creep Van
Inception Media Group
Genre:  Horror
Not Rated
Format:  DVD Only
Running Time:  Approx. 85 Minutes (Plus Special Features)
Suggested Retail Price:  $26.98
Pre-Order Date:  November 6, 2012
Street Date:  December 11, 2012
Catalog #:  IMG1176DVD
UPC Code:  # 815300011287


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Let the Bad Times Roll With "CREEP VAN"--Coming to DVD December 11th

SNOWMAGEDDON -- DVD review by porfle

There seems to be an entire category of movies on the SyFy Channel in which small Canadian towns double as small Northwestern towns in the USA which are menaced by some kind of supernatural (or super-natural) force, which resides or has its origin in a nearby mountain.  Bad CGI comes as a standard feature; giant tentacles are optional. 

One of the latest entries in this curious little sub-genre is SNOWMAGEDDON (2011), a movie whose title pretty much lets us know what kind of movie we're in for.  This time, a rustic burg in Alaska gets hammered by a series of unnatural disasters such as a storm cloud that shoots ice torpedoes which shatter into deadly shrapnel, gaping fissures bisecting city streets and gushing flames, and huge pointy things shooting up out of the ground to spear moving vehicles like shish-kabobs. 

The reason for all this is kept from us at first, lending the film an air of supernatural mystery that's mildly intriguing--until, that is, we find out that the secret behind it all is pretty freakin' dumb.  Suffice it to say that there's this kid named Rudy who plays a role-playing game about dragons and wizards, and he anonymously receives a strange snowglobe for Christmas with a tiny repica of the town in it, and whenever he winds it up, something bad happens.  Somehow, all of this is related to that RPG that he plays.  Why?  Don't ask me.

The destruction is depicted with some pretty good practical effects--the picturesque little town is trashed quite nicely--along with the usual fair-to-awful CGI.  Once the slush hits the fan, the action is split into different little suspense situations of varying interest, including two hapless shlubs trapped in a bus covered with downed power lines, stranded snowboarders who picked the wrong mountain to board, and a mother-daughter duo in a crashed helicopter. 

Good editing helps jazz things up a bit, but it's all just standard time-waster stuff that helps cheapo flicks like this fill in the space between the opening and closing credits. 

Once the kid finally convinces the grownups that his evil snowglobe is causing all the trouble--which, admittedly, might be a bit hard to swallow at first--they follow his sage advice on how to combat the supernatural menace.  Which means two things: one, they've really run out of ideas.  And two, his dad, John Miller (David Cubitt), must make a trek up the now-volcanic peak in order to do what the hero in the game does to stop the evil. 

The acting is about as good as you'd expect from this sort of thing, with Laura Harris (of the late, lamented "Defying Gravity") deserving better as Rudy's plucky mom, Beth.  The dialogue isn't any better or worse than required, save for the occasional eye-rolling exchange such as this:

LARRY: "That thing's straight from Hell itself."
FRED: "Calm down, Larry."
LARRY: "You calm down, Fred."

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  No extras.

Really, I can't add any more to this than you can already figure out from the title.  If the word SNOWMAGEDDON doesn't tell you exactly what this movie is all about and whether or not you'll enjoy it, nothing will.  Bottom line: it's a passable, tolerable time-waster.


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SNOWMAGEDDON -- DVD review by porfle

CROOKED ARROWS -- DVD review by porfle

According to some comments on IMDb, CROOKED ARROWS (2012) bears a strong resemblance to another sports underdog comedy, "The Mighty Ducks."  I never saw that particular film, but I can attest to this one's many similarities to, among other films, the earlier "The Bad News Bears."  It's as though these things pop out of the same mold like gelatin, with only a few of the ingredients changed. 

Here, the usual "crappy sports team makes good" tale involves a high school lacrosse team composed of aimless young Native Americans who have lost sight of their cultural heritage, to the point where they don't even realize the game they're playing was given to their tribe by the Creator himself and is known as "the medicine game."  Thus, one of those new ingredients is a large slathering of overbearing and occasionally self-righteous religious mysticism that eventually finds each team member going on a spirit quest to discover his own personal animal guide.  Oooookay.

Discovering one's self, however, isn't limited to the players.  Brandon "New Superman" Routh plays Joe Logan, a Sunaquat tribe member who runs the reservation's casino and is regarded as a sell-out by his peers even though he puts a whole lot of money back into the community.  I was on his side from the start although I think we're all supposed to look down our noses at him the same way his dad Ben (Gil Birmingham) and sister Nadie (Chelsea Ricketts) do, in addition to his ex-girlfriend Julie (Crystal Allen), a Caucasian who teaches at the local high school and is an expert on Sunaquat culture. 

Joe wants to expand the casino but the tribal council decrees that he must first pass a spirit test given by his dad.  Ben decides that Joe will take over his position as coach of the lacrosse team, with the plucky Nadie as his assistant, in hopes that this will help him progress spiritually.  Joe, we find later, once had a bad lacrosse-related experience in his past and resists the idea, to no avail. 

So before he knows it, he's trying to whip a bunch of no-account misfits into a semblance of a team he dubs the "Jackpots."  Along the way, a tribal sage known as Crooked Arrow (Dennis Ambriz) will lend the team his name in addition to his great wisdom, which will naturally make them all better lacrosse players. 

And just as the Bears had their secret weapon--baseball bad-ass Kelly Leak--the Crooked Arrows will acquire an invincible player in the brawny Sasquatch-like Maug, who lives in the forest.  They'll also have a Timmy Lupus equivalent in Julie's timid son Toby (Jack Vandervelde), who, as you might guess, will get his chance to come off the bench for that one big confidence-building, day-saving play.

All the other hoary cliches are trotted out one by one and checked off the list by rote as the team fails miserably for the first half of the season only to find the inspiration to come back strong enough to threaten the seemingly invincible first-place team ("Coventry Academy" in this case, a stereotypical group of cocky young Aryans for us to root against).   

Most of the game play is shown in rapidly-edited montage style so that we get brief, deafeningly-scored impressions of what's going on rather than actually settling into the game--director Steve Rash seems to be in a hurry to bombard us with all the standard tropes along with copious shots of the good guys leaping, cheering, and pumping their fists in slow-motion.  By the final act, subtlety gets stomped into oblivion once and for all by an onslaught of self-congratulatory tribal togetherness that turns the act of actually finishing the big game into a mere formality. 

The DVD from 20th-Century Fox Home Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras consist of a commentary with director Rash and producers Mark Ellis and Neal J. Powless, plus theatrical trailer and four behind-the-scenes featurettes. 

As a pro-Native American tract designed to instill pride and raise spiritual and cultural awareness in young tribe members who have lost their moral compass, CROOKED ARROWS does a pretty good job.  As a comedy, it's pretty grim.  And as a sports flick, it's so ridiculously over-the-top that you can either enjoy its "so bad it's good" qualities or retreat into your own personal spirit quest until it's over.



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Blu-Ray

CROOKED ARROWS -- DVD review by porfle