The Ross Sisters: "Jerkin' Back and Forth" (Devo) From the film "Broadway Rhythm" (1944) (video)

 

This is the fabulous Ross Sisters and their mind-boggling contortion act...

...from the film BROADWAY RHYTHM (1944)...

...set to the Devo classic "Jerkin' Back and Forth."


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

 

The Ross Sisters: "Jerkin' Back and Forth" (Devo) From the film "Broadway Rhythm" (1944) (video)

BEHEMOTH -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 3/24/11

When a SyFy original movie has the words "worldwide destruction" in the synopsis, you can pretty much bet you're going to hear about it more than see it, with most of the action taking place in a centralized location with occasional dollops of bad CGI.  In BEHEMOTH (2011), the location is a mountain community in the wilds of Canada, and the CGI dishes up one of the goofiest monsters this side of REPTILICUS.

A rash of earth tremors and some mysterious deaths have the citizens of Ascension on edge, including concerned geologist Emily Allington (Pascale Hutton, GINGER SNAPS: UNLEASHED) and government agent Jack Murray (Ty Olsson, "Defying Gravity").  A lovable, quasi-senile old professor, William Walsh (William B. Davis, who was Cancer Man on "The X-Files"), believes that the ravaged Earth has dredged up a mythical beast to purge itself of Mankind as it sometimes does whenever we get too destructive with our global warming and whatnot. 

Ed Quinn ("Eureka") makes a pretty stalwart hero as logger Thomas Walsh, William's son and Emily's old boyfriend, who ends up guiding Jack up the quake-prone Mt. Lincoln in search of some vital equipment left behind by two missing agents.  Naturally, Emily insists on going along, and, even more naturally, Thomas' headstrong younger sister Grace (Cindy Busby, "Heartland") and her dopey boyfriend Jerrod (James Kirk) are camping out on the same mountain.
 


The behemoth, it turns out, is so big that it practically wears the mountain like a backpack and can flex its enormous CGI tentacles for miles.  Just as the romantic Jerrod picks the perfect moment to hit a knee and propose to Grace (thus marking himself for death), a giant eyeball pokes out of a hole in the rock wall and peers angrily at the two lovebirds.  Their reactions are somewhat comical as they scamper off down the mountain screaming "What was that!  What was that!" as a tentacle makes a grab for them.  This would probably be a good time to mention that some of the acting and dialogue in this flick aren't quite up to par.

Meanwhile, Thomas and Emily are having their own tentacle problems as they search for Jack's missing equipment, which turns out to be an anti-behemoth weapon.  We know exactly what they're going to do with it, too, because it's foreshadowed in the most obvious terms possible by one of William B. Davis' early lines.  Speaking of which, Professor Walsh and his waitress friend Zoe (Jessica Parker Kennedy) get trapped in a diner that's gone down a sinkhole and has tentacles sliding past the window like city buses.
 


The screenplay takes its time slowly building up to the action until finally it's time for the cameramen to start shaking their cameras around and the characters to start freaking out while the behemoth lobs its appendages at them.  As Professor Walsh works his tired old bones to a frazzle trying to rescue the infuriatingly-stupid Zoe, the big finale features the behemoth sticking its giant, roaring head out the top of Mt. Lincoln while tentacles writhe around it.  This is a sight that will either stupify viewers or have them rolling on the floor in bad-movie delight. 

The DVD from Vivendi is in widescreen with English Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.  Closed-captioned for the hearing impaired.  No extras.

BEHEMOTH is the kind of monster movie that used to run on a drive-in double bill before turning up years later on "Mystery Science Theater 3000."  If you can appreciate bad movies of recent vintage in addition to the finely-aged ones, you'll probably find it a somewhat enjoyable viewing experience.  If not, however, you should follow the advice of the town sheriff and evacuate the area around Mt. Lincoln as soon as possible. 

BEHEMOTH -- DVD Review by Porfle

FEROCIOUS PLANET -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/1/11

About halfway through the TV-movie FEROCIOUS PLANET (2011), star Joe Flanigan brings viewers who have joined the film in progress up to speed:  "This is a hell of a day...a science experiment goes wrong, sticks us in a monster-filled parallel dimension with six hours to get home."  Viewers looking for something really good to watch immediately switch channels, while those of us with nothing better to do stick around and are mildly entertained for awhile.

If you catch the movie from the beginning, it doesn't take long to see that this entry in the SyFy Channel's "Maneater" series is one of those bad-CGI "monster of the week" flicks that they seem to churn out like sausage these days.  Alternately lighthearted and lightheaded, it at least manages to rise above its much stupider brethren by avoiding, for the most part anyway, the farcical and ridiculous.  Even so, this is hardly ever more than just a bunch of people in the woods running away from some fake-looking monsters.

Joe Flanigan plays a wrongly-disgraced Army colonel now doing security work in a lab where Dr. Jillian O'Hara (Dagmar Döring) and her nervous assistant Brian (Robert Soohan) are demonstrating their new invention to a skeptical senator (John Rhys-Davies with a really bad accent) and the President's science advisor, Dr. Karen Fast (Catherine Walker) in hopes of securing more funding.



Sort of a parallel-worlds viewer, the machine malfunctions and sends the group, along with part of the building they're standing in, into one of those hostile worlds filled with large creatures who want to eat them.  With only six hours to fix the device and return home, they must venture into the woods to find fifty gallons of water to power it (I didn't catch why) while avoiding the jaws and claws of numerous hungry whatsits.

Filmed mostly in the woods in Ireland, FEROCIOUS PLANET plays kind of like one of the more run-of-the-mill episodes of "Stargate: Atlantis" with Flanigan pretty much doing his Lt. Colonel John Sheppard character.  The humor is weak ("We're gonna need a bigger boat!" Flanigan incongruously quips upon first sight of a big creature) as is most of the other dialogue. 

Direction and camerawork are bland, while the performances are competent enough.  I liked Catherine Walker as Dr. Fast, whose dedication to scientific discovery compels her to set off on her own toward a distant building in hopes of meeting extraterrestrial beings.  What happens to her is pretty much the only thing in the whole movie that I cared anything about.
 


The rest of the story is your basic "fix the machine in time to get back home before the monsters get us" stuff, with various supporting characters periodically snuffing it in semi-gruesome ways.  This usually involves CGI gore, which isn't real gore like they had back in the good old practical-effects days so it has little dramatic effect.  The creatures come off okay in closeup, but for the most part they're so artificial-looking that they constantly took me out of the movie.

The DVD from Vivendi Entertainment is in widescreen with English Dolby 5.1 sound.  No subtitles, but does feature closed-captions.  There are no extras.

As a made-for-TV creature feature, FEROCIOUS PLANET isn't one of the worst I've ever seen but it definitely doesn't come close to being one of the best.  While watchable and even kind of fun at times, it isn't something I'd go out of my way for.

FEROCIOUS PLANET -- DVD Review by Porfle

Extreme Product Placement in Marx Bros' "LOVE HAPPY" (1949) (video)

 

 

"Love Happy" was conceived as a solo vehicle for Harpo. 

But, as usual, Chico needed the money. And Groucho got lured into it too. 

Before it was over, the producers were short on cash as well... ...and sold ad-space in the movie. 

Thus, the big chase finale is wall-to-wall product placement. 

 (See if you can spot the blooper in the Mobilgas shot at 1:15.) 

 

 I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

Extreme Product Placement in Marx Bros' "LOVE HAPPY" (1949) (video)

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/17/11

 

Usually, a combination of the phrases "SyFy Original Movie" and "giant bad-CGI monsters" is enough to give me a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.  Especially if the movie they're referring to has a really dumb title.  Well, unbelievably enough, MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID (2011) is the rollicking, rip-roaring, and divinely ridiculous exception to that rule.   

The highlight is a blood-curdling death duel between two of the most horrifying monsters to ever walk the face of the earth.  I'm referring, of course, to 80s teen queens Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.  Debbie, who's gotten a bit wiry in her middle years but is still cute, plays eco-terrorist Nikki with loads of energy.  Tiffany, on the other hand, has filled out considerably since her younger days and, as Seminole State Park Chief Ranger Terry, marks off a few boxes on my fetish checklist with her generous figure, skimpy uniform, and sidearm.  (Sorry if that's too much information.)

When Nikki and her cohorts break into a lab and let loose a bunch of mutant pythons, they grow to gigantic proportions and start eating all the alligators, throwing the local gator hunters out of work.  This is fine with Nikki because she believes pythons belong at the top of the food chain, even if some of the lower links consist of bumbling park rangers, ill-fated fiancés, and comical rednecks.
 


Terry, meanwhile, has the bright idea of loading up a bunch of dead chickens with super-steroids and feeding them to the gators, thus bringing nature into balance again.  ("What's crazy about this--feeding steroids to gators?" she asks her partner, Angie.  "I mean, what could go wrong?")  The result is a horde of colossal alligator-monsters that feast on anything that moves.  Naturally, the pythons start eating their steroid-enhanced eggs and get even bigger, leading to mega-python vs. gatoroid pandemonium throughout the Everglades and eventually in the very streets of downtown Miami. 

Surprisingly, Roger Corman's name doesn't show up anywhere in the credits for this freaky flick.  Horror veteran Mary Lambert (PET SEMETARY, THE ATTIC) directs with a sure hand and keeps things moving at such a rapid clip that the story never has a chance to get boring.  The creature attacks are exciting, suspenseful, over the top, and even a bit nerve-wracking at times, despite the lighthearted tone and resolutely fake-looking CGI.




Willfully cheesy, this movie is positively frothy with deadpan comedy and campy dialogue.  Tiffany and Debbie get off to a good hostile start, nearly sideswiping each other on the road and growling "Bitch!" in unison.  Their environmentalist wacko vs. park ranger animosity is stoked throughout the film ("Looks like somebody had 'bitch' for breakfast!" Debbie taunts during their initial clash), building to the eventual catfight that pays off like a slot machine of fun.  When these legendary rivals go flying over a table during the fancy outdoor ball that Tiffany's throwing to raise money for the park, you can bet all those whipped cream-laden pies aren't just sitting there by accident. 

Another old fave, A Martinez (THE COWBOYS), plays Diego, a scientist who tries to convince the oblivious Terry that her park is becoming a human buffet for ravenous reptiles.  His skills as a pilot and demolitions expert will come in handy during the story's frantic climax, as Terry and Nikki join him in trying to lure the rampaging beasts out of the city and into a dynamite-laden deathtrap.  As Terry's elderly partner Angie, Kathryn Joosten has some of the best lines and delivers them with an exquisitely dry wit.  Ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz shows up at the fund-raising ball, upping the film's nostalgia value even more.



The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of the film's trailer and a making-of featurette. 

Now, please don't take all of my giddy ravings as an indication that MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID is some kind of a great movie, because it isn't, of course.  But compared to all the other goofy "hybrid-creature" SyFy Channel flicks of its ilk that I've sat through recently, it's freaking CITIZEN KANE. 


Buy it at Amazon.com:
DVD
Blu-Ray

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID -- DVD Review by Porfle

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/21/21

 

I've always loved the American-International "Beach Party" series, and I always will. This gives you a good idea of the overall tenor of my assessment of HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (Olive Films, 1965). As for WHY I love these movies so much, well...err...uhh...

To be honest, a lot of people will hate this movie and others like it, and, as far as they're concerned, rightfully so. It's a supremely silly slapstick sex farce with the lowest teen denominator in mind, and it was made to shower undiscerning audiences with brightly-colored pop culture confetti made up of whatever seemed like it might appeal to them, including girls in bikinis, bikes, surfing, jangly rock 'n' roll, cartoonish action, really corny jokes, and cameo appearances by faces familiar to both the younger and older generations.

All of which is why I find these movies to be such irresistible fun--because that's all they try to be, and in their own stupefying way, they succeed.  It helps if you're a fan of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (I am), two of the most appealing young stars of the 60s, and enjoy occasionally turning off your mind, relaxing, and floating downstream. It is not dying, even though some might feel that way about it.

 

This time, Frankie's serving six weeks of naval reserve duty in Tahiti, separating him from Annette and tempting him to indulge in the local "social scene." Even so, he expects Annette (as "Dee Dee") to be faithful to him back there in Malibu, so he enlists the help of witch doctor Bwana Chicky Baby (none other than the venerable Buster Keaton, whose assistants include the beautiful Irene Tsu and Bobbi Shaw) to help him keep an eye on her with the help of a magical pelican.

Bwana Chicky Baby also plans to divert the beach boys' attention away from Annette by creating the perfect woman, who appears to everyone first as an empty leopard skin bikini. The great John Ashley (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER), an American-International mainstay doing beach duty for the studio, then gets to croon the title song before the bikini is suddenly filled by the gorgeous Cassandra (Beverly Adams).

In short order, a nattily-dressed Mickey Rooney and Dwayne Hickman show up as big business types looking for the "girl next door" to accompany Dwayne in a motorcycle race which Mickey hopes will improve the image of cyclists (an image that Eric Von Zipper and his bumbling biker gang do their best to sully when they show up and Eric falls in love with Cassandra).

 

 

 
Dwayne, against Mickey's wishes, falls for Annette, who plays hard to get as usual while the magic pelican keeps watch over their activities for the absent Frankie.  And thus the film's main action is established with lots of romantic complications and slapstick nonsense until the big bike race, which turns the final quarter of the film into a live-action cartoon that's like a cross between "Wacky Races" and "Road Runner."

This is the seventh film in A-I's "Beach Party" series (if you count "Pajama Party" and "Ski Party") and by this time the concept was starting to wind down. The next related films would be SERGEANT DEADHEAD and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, then one more "bikini" movie, the financial flop THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI. After that, the emphasis would be on stock car racing with FIREBALL 500 and THUNDER ALLEY.

But there's still fun to be had with this formula if it strikes your fancy as it does mine. Annette is just as appealing a fantasy girlfriend as ever, and gets to sing a couple of songs (one with The Kingsmen as her backup band) while fending off Dwayne Hickman's romantic overtures.

 

Rooney seems to be having a good time spoofing HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (his character's name, J. Peachmont Keane, is a variation of that play's J. Pierpont Finch). He even participates in some of the many musical numbers that keep cropping up at the darndest times.

Most of the silliness comes from Harvey Lembeck's familiar Eric Von Zipper and his gang of "stupids", with "Seinfeld" regular Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser turning up as their cohort in crime, the evil North Dakota Pete.  The bike race finale throws any semblance of coherence or sanity to the winds, making the old Looney Tunes cartoons look like models of adult sophistication in comparison.

In addition to the great Keaton and Rooney, the film offers supporting roles and cameos from the likes of Brian Donlevy as Rooney's boss B.D. "Big Deal" McPherson and director William Asher's wife at the time, "Bewitched" star Elizabeth Montgomery, as (what else?) a witch. Frankie, by this time, was demanding more money and is relegated to just a few "Tahiti" scenes.  Annette, bless her heart, is just as wonderful as ever.

 

 

Will Dwayne and Annette win the big race instead of the devious Von Zipper and Cassandra?  Will Annette finally forget her vow to stay faithful to the unfaithful Frankie and give in to Dwayne's advances? Will the rest of the boys (including Jody McCrea's "Bonehead") forget hypnotic Cassandra and return their attention to the rest of the jealousy-inflamed girls? Will John Ashley sing another awful song? Will Mickey Rooney finish doing whatever it is that he's doing?

If you couldn't care less, there are probably a lot of other people who feel exactly the same way you do. I don't care that much myself, but as a lifelong beach movie lover, I sure do have a great time watching movies like HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI anyway. It's the ultimate in light entertainment, and if you take it lightly enough, the rational part of your brain will enjoy the vacation.  

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/7/09

"Why," asks the tagline for 2009's BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT, "would a man frame himself for murder?" Hmm--because he's stupid? Or maybe because he's an ambitious young TV-news reporter who wants to prove that a big-shot district attorney, in a bid to become the next governor, has been planting DNA evidence to help him win high-profile murder cases?

If you chose either of those possibilities, you get a cigar. Jesse Metcalfe (LOADED, JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE) plays C.J. Nicholas, the boyish newshound with the half-baked scheme to have himself charged with the brutal murder of a prostitute with the help of his cameraman, Finley (Joel Moore). With an industrious fervor, they plant just about every bit of fake evidence necessary to have the cops come knocking at C.J.'s door with a warrant, led by the always likable Orlando Jones as Detective Ben Nickerson. Stupid mission accomplished!

But before you can say "oops", the DVD evidence needed to clear C.J. of the charges and prove district attorney Mark Hunter (Michael Douglas) guilty of evidence tampering is destroyed. Cut to our brilliant reporter on death row awaiting his execution by lethal injection. Can you say "duh"?

But wait--as chance would have it, C.J. has been romancing Hunter's pretty assistant, Ella (Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia"), and she embarks on a little Nancy Drew action to try and clear his name. But Hunter's onto her, and sics his burly bad-cop henchman on her. Will she live long enough to save the day?

A remake of the 1956 film noir directed by Fritz Lang, this low-grade thriller by writer-director Peter Hyams (THE STAR CHAMBER, OUTLAND, 2010), which was filmed in Shreveport, Louisiana, is little more than a mildly-interesting way to waste an hour and a half. Hyams rushes us through the plot as though he's afraid to linger on anything for more than a few seconds, making it impossible for us to really get to know these characters or invest any emotion in them.

This is reflected in the choppy, hyper editing, which bombards us with way too many different shots and camera angles even in the slower scenes. Major story points and exposition are often revealed by on-the-spot TV reporters covering the trial, making us feel as though we've missed whole scenes. This kind of hurried-along, shorthand storytelling gives the film a flat, distant feeling that is in evidence even in the love scenes between C.J. and Ella, which are perfunctory at best, and drain much of the suspense from the courtroom scenes themselves, which should have been the film's high point. Murky cinematography and sound, along with one of master film composer David Shire's least effective scores, also fall short of the mark.

The story comes to life during its action and suspense sequences. Hyams delivers a rousing chase scene in the first half, with a frantic Finley racing to get to the courtroom on time with the evidence to clear C.J. as Hunter's crooked cop pursues him with intent to kill. Another chase in a parking garage has the bad guy trying to run down a fleeing Ella--there's a really neat shot of her cowering against a pillar as he does doughnuts around her in his car. In a less frenetic scene, Ella tries to steal some restricted files from a police computer before the cop in charge returns and catches her, generating some mild Hitchcock-style suspense. Here, the editing serves the film well for a change.

Metcalf and Tamblyn do what they can with their underwritten characters, but we never have more than a superficial interest in them. Douglas, of course, can make the most of material like this without breaking a sweat, and it's a shame his character wasn't fleshed out more--it would've been interesting to see him given more to do. As it is, he advances the plot and that's about it. On a positive note, none of the actors attempts one of those comically fake-sounding Southern accents that one sometimes hears in these Louisiana-based productions.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and English and Spanish subtitles. Extras include a commentary with Hyams and Metcalfe, and two brief (less than four minutes apiece) featurettes. One is a making-of promo, "The Whole Truth--The Making of 'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt'" and the other, "Criminal Forensics--The Burden of Proof" features an ex-cop discussing how crime-scene evidence is collected and processed.

It's hard to sink your teeth into BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT--it's like sitting down to a steak dinner and being served a bowl of Jello. You might even be a little amazed at how rushed the story's resolution is, although just when you think it's over, there's a nifty twist right before the fadeout that almost makes the whole viewing experience worthwhile. It's too little too late, but I liked it.

 

BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT -- DVD Review by Porfle

RIGHTEOUS KILL -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 1/4/09

Robert De Niro and Al Pacino--a pairing of dynamic acting talents that still gets one's attention the way it did back in '95 when Michael Mann first brought them together as the opposing leads in his bullet-riddled crime drama HEAT (although they only actually shared two scenes together). Perhaps the team-up of Bob and Al doesn't quite generate the same kind of heat in 2008 as it did then, but it's still a good deal of fun to see them on the screen together in Jon Avnet's cop drama RIGHTEOUS KILL, a vehicle that's almost but not quite worthy of them.

Veteran homicide detectives Turk (De Niro) and Rooster (Pacino) are old-school NYPD cops with a hands-on approach to handling bad guys. Turk in particular seems to have an anger management problem, and when certain vile criminals who have escaped justice due to legal technicalities start getting executed left and right, suspicion begins to fall upon him.

The fact that the film opens with Turk giving a videotaped confession would seem to render things a bit too cut-and-dried, and indeed we begin to consider other possibilities. Could he be taking the rap for his partner? Or perhaps even his forensic-specialist girlfriend, Karen (Carla Gugino)? The two younger cops who are working the case with them, Perez (John Leguizamo) and Riley (Donnie Wahlberg), seem exceedingly anxious to pin the murders on Turk. Might one of them be the killer?

One of the most interesting things about Russell Gewirtz' screenplay is the exploration of how much a cop may be capable of taking the law into his own hands when he has the power to do so. What if you know for certain that someone's guilty of a heinous crime, but he gets off? Is it right to frame him for something he didn't do, so that he'll get his deserved punishment? The moral dilemma is intensified when the vigilante action escalates from planting evidence to outright execution--the "righteous kill." And although Turk and Rooster both seem equally hard-nosed and ruthless, the difference between how far each is willing to go to exact justice may lead to ruin for one or both of them.

The casting of the two leads is great, but not the major event it might have been. Our overfamiliarity with Robert De Niro, especially as a comic figure in films such as MEET THE PARENTS, seems to have diluted the "actor" mystique he had back in the TAXI DRIVER and RAGING BULL days. Likewise with Pacino, no longer the riveting young talent from THE GODFATHER or SCARFACE, now the "hoo-ahh" guy with the big hair and the peacock strut who sometimes seems content to hang back and let his considerable presence carry a role. Which is enough, really, because each of these guys carries sufficient weight to make any film better, and who can resist seeing them playing off of each other?

They do seem to be on auto-pilot at times--De Niro's not really feelin' some of that less-than-thrilling dialogue, while Pacino often just seems to be having fun--but when they're on, as they are in several key scenes, we get some of that dangerous intensity that has always made them exciting. Especially De Niro, whose character starts to get a little scary later on because we really don't know what he'll do next. With Pacino, it eventually becomes apparent that his character's jovial fascade hides something more ominous than is first apparent, and he brings his old skills to bear when it counts.

Carla Gugino, who played Marv's gorgeous parole officer in SIN CITY, is well cast and makes the most of some juicy scenes with the two leads. Leguizamo and Wahlberg do good work here, as does the reliable Brian Dennehy as Lieutenant Hingis, who grudgingly begins to suspect that Turk is the killer. As the cocky criminal Spider, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson proves that he's as adept at pretending to be a gangsta onscreen as he is onstage. And in a smaller role, Melissa Leo of TV's "Homicide: Life on the Street" is very good as the distraught mother of a murdered child.

Jon Avnet's direction is workmanlike and unflashy, the look of the film hovering somewhere between top-grade gloss and assembly-line competence. Although there is quite a bit of violence and tension along the way, what's missing is a hard-edged, gritty realism that would've pushed this film to a higher level. Even so, the action and suspense keep things moving while the performances are often impressive. And although I actually saw the twist ending coming from a few blocks away, the final revelation and emotional ending (which has faint echoes of that last scene in HEAT) are rewarding.

The 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen image and Dolby Surround 5.1 sound are both good. Director Avnet provides an informative scene-specific commentary. Extras include two featurettes, "The Investigation: An In-Depth Look at 'Righteous Kill'" and "The Thin Blue Line: An Exploration of Cops & Criminals", the latter being of special interest as it exposes some of the real-life incidents that inspired the screenplay, with comments from actual cops. Subtitles are in English SDH and Spanish.

While this isn't quite the world-shaking pairing of De Niro and Pacino that some of us always wished for, RIGHTEOUS KILL is still a solid, exciting story for them to bluster around in. And there are definitely a lot of things in this world that are less fun than watching these two legendary tough guys playing out-of-control New York homicide cops with itchy trigger fingers. If that sounds like fun to you, then by all means check it out.

RIGHTEOUS KILL -- DVD review by porfle

THE BOYS IN THE BAND -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/25/08

While growing up, I'd always known THE BOYS IN THE BAND (1970) as "that gay movie" because it was pretty much the first of its kind. Now that I've seen it, it's not the gay version of ROOTS as I'd long suspected, nor is it a farcical companion piece to LA CAGE AUX FOLLES. Based on the groundbreaking Off-Broadway play by Mart Crowley (who also wrote the screenplay) and starring the original cast, it's full of wonderfully witty dialogue along with some equally lowbrow humor, but what it eventually becomes is an emotional drama about people who joke about their own inner turmoil until the laughter turns to bitter tears and scathing recriminations.

The story begins with Michael giving a surprise birthday party in his apartment for his friend Harold, when suddenly his former college roommate, Alan, shows up. Which wouldn't be a problem, except Michael, Harold, and everyone else at the party are gay, while Alan is (seemingly) arrow-straight and unprepared for the sight of a bunch of guys drinking Pink Ladies and chorus dancing to "Love is Like a Heat Wave." Although the story is lighthearted and filled with breezy humor and wisecracks at first, we get the feeling we're in for some heavy drama sooner or later. Alan's presence at the party is the proverbial other shoe that begs to be dropped at some point, but even this is hardly the main event we think it will be--before the night is over, shoes will be dropping all over the place.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND is one of those filmed plays that often betrays its theatrical origins--but in a good way--while remaining almost self-consciously cinematic in order to balance things out. Director William Friedkin deftly keeps the camera moving and the characters in motion with various bits of business, and the acting, dialogue, and editing all crackle. Several of the lines are quoteworthy--when Michael's weekend lover Donald enters in his party attire and asks, "Am I stunning?", Michael responds, "You're absolutely stunning. You look like sh**, but I'm absolutely stunned."

Birthday boy Harold's belated appearance is worth waiting for--he's a real pip, and Friedkin lets us know it by giving him an entrance worthy of Karloff's monster in FRANKENSTEIN. Impeccably dressed and coolly detached, this self-described "32-year-old ugly pockmarked Jew fairy" saunters world-wearily into the midst of the film's first major blow-up and levels the whole thing like a cross between Bette Davis and Oscar Wilde. His acerbic attitude and dry, sarcastic witticisms usher in the film's next phase of frank dialogue and brittle interplay. As for Michael, he seems to morph into Joan Crawford the longer he's around Harold and starts in on him with relentlessly cutting putdowns, which the unflappable Harold disinterestedly waves off with bland retorts like "You hateful sow."

When a sudden rainstorm buffets the terrace and forces the party inside, putting everyone into close quarters including the shell-shocked Alan, it's here that Michael's alcohol-fueled cruel streak really comes to the fore and nobody is spared. He initiates a party game designed to humiliate the participants for his own sour amusement, but, in unintended ways, it forces the characters to confront problems that need to be worked out--not just gay problems, but universal ones as well. Even the cartoonishly-flamboyant Emory gets his fleeting moment to be a real person instead of a caricature. Ultimately, Michael himself turns out to have the biggest issues, and Harold's just the guy to make him face them.

By this time, we don't need kinetic visuals to keep us interested, so Friedkin gets more stagy during this sequence to focus attention on the dialogue. Still, he handles it all with exquisite dexterity. The final act is riveting, with the kind of raw emotion played to the hilt that you rarely see outside of something like Liz and Dick going at each other in WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?

As Michael, Kenneth Nelson runs the gamut of emotions in a brilliant and moving performance. Leonard Frey is so decadently cool as Harold, he could almost be a Bond villian. Laurence Luckinbill and Keith Prentice have some great moments together as Hank and Larry, a couple with painfully differing views on monogamy. Alan, whose homophobia may be a denial of his true nature, is played by Peter White with just the right enigmatic touch. 

The one really flaming queen in the bunch, Cliff Gorman's Emory--described by Alan as "a butterfly in heat"--is the most stereotypically camp character, but in a story in which almost everyone is gay, the omission of someone like Emory might seem unrealistic in itself. The rest of the ensemble is equally good, including Frederick Combs as Donald, Reuben Greene as Bernard, and Robert La Tourneaux as Cowboy, Emory's dumb-blonde birthday gift to Harold.

The film has been restored under Friedkin's supervision and remixed in stereo sound. In a way, the look reminded me of a really high-class Joe Sarno movie but without the sex. After watching it I couldn't wait to indulge in the bonus features, which include a commentary track with Friedkin and Crowley being interviewed, and three featurettes. The titles, "The Boys in the Band: The Play", "The Boys in the Band: The Movie", and "The Boys in the Band: Today", are self-explanatory, and feature retrospective comments by Friedkin, Crowley, and some of the surviving castmembers.

As far as the fine art of transferring plays to the screen goes, THE BOYS IN THE BAND is a tour-de-force for the young Friedkin and a robustly entertaining experience for the viewer. It's funny, emotionally searing, and cathartic. And it's a lot more than just "that gay movie", because anyone can recognize some of these characters' fears and insecurities in themselves. But the fact that they are gay gives it all a unique perspective that adds to its resonance.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND -- DVD Review by Porfle

FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/26/21

 

I remember reading one of those capsule-review books that deemed director Richard Cunha's 1958 monster thriller FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER so bad as to be "practically unwatchable." Well, there's no denying it's definitely bad in a variety of ways. But for those of us who happen to like that quality in certain films, "unwatchable" it certainly isn't.

Cunha's list of films also includes GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN, MISSILE TO THE MOON, and the ever-popular SHE DEMONS, all of which share a similar appeal as low-budget fare with a certain something that just makes them fun to watch despite how lacking they may be in production values and polish.

For this effort, he continues the classic "Frankenstein" saga, this time in the form of the famous scientist's unhinged grandson, Oliver (Donald Murphy), who now goes under the name "Mr. Frank." 

Oliver works as an assistant to benevolent old research scientist Prof. Morton (Felix Locher, familiar to "Star Trek" fans from the 1967 episode "The Deadly Years") but is really just using the old man's home laboratory to create an artificial being out of dead body parts as his forefathers did before him.

Meanwhile, Prof. Morton's cute teenage niece Trudy (Sandra Knight) is an unknowing test subject for Oliver, who slips her a formula that turns her into a "Miss Hyde"-type monster who runs around the neighborhood in a nightgown or bathing suit, terrorizing old ladies and such.

Her boyfriend Johnny (the great John Ashley, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, BEACH PARTY, BRIDES OF BLOOD) scoffs at her hazy memories of being a stalking beast, as do their friends Don (Harold Lloyd, Jr., son of the famous silent film comedian) and Suzie (sexy blonde Sally Todd, a former Playboy Playmate of the Month). Suzie will eventually throw boyfriend Don over for the scheming Mr. Frank, who plans to kill her and use her head on his patchwork creature.

From this brief description alone, one gets an idea of what a crazy mixed-up story this is, made all the better by earnest performances, an often downbeat and even noirish atmosphere (some of the black and white photography is actually quite good), some wonderfully wild scenes of Trudy during her monster rampage, and one of the worst monsters of all time, big-lug actor Harry Wilson (who specialized in brawny thug types) as "Frankenstein's Daughter."

Once we're told that the late Suzie's head has been transplanted onto the body of Oliver's monster, Wilson assumes the role under a badly-applied heavy makeup complete with lipstick-smeared lips and what appears to be a nylon jumpsuit with black rubber gloves.

It's quite a sight, seeing him do a sort of robotic walk while advancing on his hapless victims who must all back away slowly enough for him to catch them.

More fun comes when Prof. Morton persuades Trudy to have a pool party to cheer her up. Here, Page Cavanaugh and His Trio perform "Daddy Bird" and "Special Date" with vocal help from Harold Lloyd Jr. while Johnny and Trudy cook hot dogs for a gang of "teens" made up of MILFs and guys who look like they have their own teenage kids.

As the police and a not-too-bright Johnny close in on Oliver's nefarious undertakings, Donald Murphy keeps things hopping with his deliciously dastardly performance. Likable Sandra Knight, who would later co-star with then-husband Jack Nicholson in THE TERROR, wanders through the film in a daze, while John Ashley is his usual awesomely faux-Elvis self.

Director Cunha, who could keep things hopping even on a rock-bottom budget, delivers a film that looks good (thanks in no small part to The Film Detective's terrific new restoration--bonus features listed below) and has enough nutty plot twists to keep us mildly agog for the full running time, especially when that wildly improbable "female" monster is stalking the screen.

Naturally, those who don't enjoy bad movies as much as us junk-film junkies may very well agree with that old assessment of FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER as "practially unwatchable." But if you do get a kick out of them, this one should be right up your dark alley.



Buy it at Amazon.com

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Full Commentary track with Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
Full Color Booklet with original essay by Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
"RICHARD E. CUNHA: FILMMAKER OF THE UNKNOWN" - A new career retrospective from Ballyhoo Motion Pictures featuring an archival interview with director Richard E. Cunha
"JOHN ASHLEY: MAN FROM THE B'S" - A new career retrospective featuring film historian C. Courtney Joyner 

Frankenstein’s Daughter
The Film Detective
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Original Release: 1958 (BW)
Not Rated
Running Time: 85 Minutes
Language: English
Subtitles: English, Spanish
SRP: $24.95 (Blu-ray) / $19.95 (DVD)
Discs: 1
UPC Code:  760137658283 (Blu-ray) / 760137658191 (DVD)
Catalog #:  FB1014 (Blu-ray) / FD1014 (DVD)

FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/27/21

 

I'll admit, I had my initial doubts that THE AMAZING MR. X (The Film Detective, 1948) was going to be all that amazing, judging from the pics that made it look like some kind of faux-supernatural romance fantasy with a few mildly Gothic touches.  

It didn't take long for director Bernard Vorhau (whose filmography contains several interesting-sounding films that I've never seen) and original story author Crane Wilbur (who wrote and directed the wonderfully hokey potboiler THE BAT) to dispel such notions.

Right off the bat, we find wealthy, still-grieving widow Christine (Lynn Bari, FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS, ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE KEYSTONE KOPS) rising from her bed in the dead of night and wafting onto the dizzying balcony of her mansion overlooking the ocean because she hears her dead husband Paul croaking her name from the great beyond.

 

This claim is met with skepticism by her ardent suitor Martin (Richard Carlson, CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), who doesn't want to compete with a ghost for Christine's affections, and her kid sister Janet (Cathy O'Donnell, BEN HUR, THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES), who fancies herself more sensible and mature than her older sister.

Again right off the bat, this movie pulls us down into a dark sea of scintillating mystery and spooky atmosphere photographed in rich, gloomy black and white that's often quite beautiful.

That sheer cliff looming over the constantly rushing waves, along with stunning interiors of vast, ornate rooms strewn with shadows, makes for some exquisite production design which gives it all a noirish and at times dreamily indistinct quality. 

 

Being in such a suggestible state makes Christine easy game for supposed psychic Mr. Alexis (Turhan Bey, THE MUMMY'S TOMB, THE MAD GHOUL) who promises to pierce the veil of the spirit world and put her in contact with Paul. But is he for real, or just a slick, money-grubbing phony?

Bey is just right as the handsome and very smooth Mr. Alexis, who pretty much had me convinced from their first nocturnal meeting on the beach.   We then follow the investigation as a more logical-minded Martin hires a private detective to dig up dirt on "Mr. X." Even Janet does some undercover work as a prospective client but ends up taken in by the apparent huckster herself, finding him not only intriguing but also quite exotic.

What follows is a dizzying journey into the world of creepy seances, ghostly visitations, and other fever-dream stuff that's a pleasure to watch as the plot's various secrets slowly unravel themselves in satisfying fashion.

 

 

 The two female leads are fine, especially the very young Cathy O'Donnell. Richard Carlson does the "mundane guy" routine to a tee. Also on hand is prolific character actress Virginia Gregg who would later enjoy a lead role in OPERATION PETTICOAT and turn up in the original DRAGNET movie as well. Donald Curtis appears as the apparition of dead but not quite gone Paul.

The Blu-ray from The Film Detective gives us a new 4K transfer restored from original 35mm film elements, the result being a treat for those who appreciate good old black and white photography. Special features consist of audio commentary from professor and film scholar Jason A. Ney, the original documentary "Mysteries Exposed: Inside the Cinematic World of Spiritualism", and a full color booklet with the essay "The Amazing Mr. Bey" by Don Stradley.

A very pleasant, and very spooky, surprise, THE AMAZING MR. X emerges from its seeming cinematic obscurity (for me, anyway) to offer lovers of old-fashioned supernatural thrillers a heady experience that's so deliciously dark and moody that it's almost immersively atmospheric.

 

Media Format ‏ : ‎ Anamorphic, Dolby, NTSC, Widescreen
Run time ‏ : ‎ 1 hour and 18 minutes
Subtitles: English, Spanish
Release date ‏ : ‎ October 26, 2021
Actors ‏ : ‎ Turhan Bey, Lynn Bari, Cathy O'Donnell
Studio ‏ : ‎ Film Detective
ASIN ‏ : ‎ B096WNY182
Country of Origin ‏ : ‎ USA 

THE AMAZING MR. X (1948) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

DAPHNE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted in 2008

Sizing herself up in the mirror before attending a stuffy party, Daphne du Maurier frowns at her fancy evening gown and mutters, "Why can't I just wear velvet trousers and a boyish belt?"

Based in part on her own letters and memoirs, the BBC TV-movie DAPHNE (2007) is all about the famous author wishing, like Pinocchio, that she were a boy. A bisexual boy, that is. The main emphasis is on Daphne's all-consuming infatuation for her American publisher's beautiful, outgoing wife, Ellen Doubleday, whom she meets while in the states to contest a plagiarism charge. Daphne finds Ellen an irresistible ray of sunshine in contrast to the increasingly distant relationship she endures with her troubled WWII veteran husband, Tommy (Andrew Havill).

After restraining her fierce romantic impulses as long as she can, Daphne finally professes her love to Ellen and is painfully rebuffed. "Love is love," she frets. "How can there be different ways?" She then finds rebound solace in the willing arms of the flamboyant stage diva Gertrude Lawrence, although their torrid affair leaves Daphne frustrated and unfulfilled. Interestingly, Daphne doesn't consider herself a "lesbian" at all--she despises the word, in fact. In her mind, if not her body, she has always been a boy.

I was expecting to see a serious, comprehensive look at the life of Daphne du Maurier here, so I didn't start getting into this movie until I realized that it's actually the sort of gaudy, hand-wringing upperclass soap opera--complete with furiously overwrought musical score--that people like Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman used to star in. Except in this case, the Rock Hudson role is played by the lead actress. Once I got what it was about, this handsomely mounted, well-played melodrama about unrequited love and gender identity, and how these feelings and experiences served as an inspiration in Daphne's writing, became fairly involving.

Geraldine Somerville ("Lily Potter" of the Harry Potter series) plays the troubled author of "Rebecca", "My Cousin Rachel", and "The Birds" with a long-suffering wistfulness which will appeal to either your empathy or your apathy. Elizabeth McGovern, aging nicely these days, is likable as the winsome social butterfly over which Daphne goes sweetly ga-ga. Best of all is Janet McTeer as brassy broad Gertrude Lawrence, who is the kind of woman Daphne finds exciting but wouldn't want to marry. The only other role I've seen McTeer play was Nelly in the 1992 WUTHERING HEIGHTS, so this is quite an interesting change which she handles beautifully.

The DVD image is 1.77:1, with Dolby Digital sound. The sole bonus feature is a du Maurier-penned documentary entitled "Vanishing Cornwall", which runs about half an hour and was directed by her son, Christian Browning. The author herself appears briefly at the beginning of this dry, rather dull look at the history of her beloved homeplace.

DAPHNE is the kind of smart, stately, yet tastefully decadent soap opera that you can indulge in like an unhealthy confection. That is, if you have the taste for such things. Otherwise, it may just leave you with a queasy stomach.

DAPHNE -- DVD Review by Porfle

CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 -- DVD review by porfle

(NOTE: This review is based on the unrated director's cut. Originally posted on 9/11/11.)


The tall, skinny, bald guy with the chrome skull-mask, the wicked knife, and the video camera perched on his shoulder like a parrot is back in CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 (2011) and this time, he's got back-up. 

The last we saw of Ol' Chrome-Dome (Nick Principe) back in the first LAID TO REST (2009), he was lying on the floor of a rural convenience store with his face ripped off and his skull smashed in.  Well, you can't keep a good monster down, so when this sequel picks up right where the last one left off, we see his crew sweep in, dispatch the investigating police, clean up the crime scene, and whisk their boss to an operating room where surgeons labor to save his life and what's left of his face.

It turns out that he's one of those multi-millionaires who can afford to do whatever the heck he pleases and pay people to willingly help him do it, even if that includes setting up an elaborate torture chamber for him (in his chrome-plating factory, naturally) and stocking it with kidnapped young girls.  His right-hand woman, Spann (the ever-popular Danielle Harris) even seems to enjoy her job, as does his main fixer, Preston, who is very well played by Brian Austin Greene. 



Green seems to revel in the Preston role, portraying a borderline psycho who wants to follow in his boss' footsteps by adopting the chromeskull mask and performing his first kills with an almost sexual ardor.  Not only do we get a shocking pre-titles sequence that harkens back to FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, but we get a little of PART 5 as well with an imitator going around making like the main man.  This not only gives Green a chance to stretch his acting muscles but also gives gore fans a double dose of carnage.

Like a cross between Jason Voorhees and Mason Verger of HANNIBAL, Chromeskull, now sporting a hideous patchwork face, spends his recovery time stalking a new girl to obsess on now that Princess, his previous object of interest, is out of the picture.  Her replacement is Jess (Mimi Michaels), who has an eye disease that's slowly making her go blind.  In one of the film's first startling kill scenes, Jess' best friend is dispatched in imaginatively gruesome fashion and Jess is abucted, waking up in a casket while being taunted by Preston.  Mimi Michaels plays the role to the hilt, screaming very convincingly and emoting her buns off.

Thomas Dekker returns as Tommy (last seen driving away with Princess in the last film) and gets caught up in the whole mess again, this time coming to the aid of Jess.  They both end up in Chromeskull's factory where they witness some of the film's more elaborate kills, including a virtuoso decapitation and a thing with a spring-loaded blade cluster (a chrome-plated custom job designed by Preston) giving another character a really big smile. 

Other death scenes of interest include a nasty disembowelment (with the victim being portrayed by twins in order to achieve a tricky single take), a head sliced vertically in half like a cantelope, the impromptu chrome-plating of somebody else's head, and another impressive single take in which Chromeskull wipes out a number of cops one after the other in gruesome ways.  The gore effects are achieved, as in the previous film, by combining excellent practical effects with some subtle CGI enhancements. 



Speaking of cops, they're a pretty ineffectual bunch here.  Owain Yeoman plays Detective King, who looks a little young to be heading the precinct, and Christopher Allen Nelson (Beatrix' almost-husband Tommy in KILL BILL) is Max, his best detective.  "Best" being a relative term, since the whole squad amounts to little more than kill fodder for Chromeskull.  When they bust into the chrome-plating factory to rescue Jess and Detective King yells, "You're safe now!", I thought, "Yeah, right."  Hot female detective Holland (Angelina Armani) fares no better.

Gail O'Grady appears as Jess' mother and a grown-up Eric Lloyd (of the SANTA CLAUSE series) is billed as "Geeky Lackey."  The actress who played Princess in the first LAID TO REST, Bobbi Sue Luther, is neither seen here (her flashback scenes were reshot with Allison Kyler replacing her) nor mentioned by name (unless I missed it).  

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a commentary with director Robert Hall, co-writer Kevin Bocarde, and actor Brian Austin Green, along with a making-of featurette, deleted scenes, bloopers, and a trailer.  There's also a feature which allows viewers to jump to any one of the various kill scenes.  (Stick around through the closing credits for a two-minute epilogue.)

While the film is pretty fast-paced and the additions to the Chromeskull mythology fairly interesting, I prefer the first film with its creepier settings, more enigmatic killer, more likable characters, and more involving story.  This one has none of its dry humor (Sean Whalen and Kevin Gage are especially missed) and the main girl, Jess, is winsome but not really all that interesting.  Still, CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 is head and shoulders above most of the cheap slasher flicks being churned out lately, continuing the first film's "cavalcade of cool kills" approach with a little style and a lot of enthusiasm.  And Chromeskull is definitely one of the major movie monsters of the last few decades.

CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 -- DVD review by porfle

LAID TO REST -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted in 2009

"A guy in a mask chasing a girl...that usually works," thought writer/director Robert Hall while thinking up ideas for a follow-up to his '04 debut feature, LIGHTNING BUG. And what a mask--a grinning chrome skull, which fits over the face of tall, lanky, cueball-bald actor Nick Principe. With his imposing stature and graceful, deliberate movements, in addition to being nattily-dressed in a tastefully tailored black outfit, Chrome Skull is one of the most interesting slasher anti-heroes since the 80s. And LAID TO REST (2009) is a glossy, blood-drenched, pedal-to-the-metal throwback to that era.

The chilling titles sequence gives us jagged glimpses of Chrome Skull nastily doing away with several young women. Then we meet our heroine, The Girl (Hall's wife Bobbi Sue Luther in a lively performance), as she wakes up in a closed casket in a funeral home, with no memory of who she is or how she got there. After witnessing the gruesome death of an old mortician (the venerable Richard Lynch) at the hands of Chrome Skull, she flees down the highway until she's picked up by a kindly redneck named Tucker (Kevin Gage, best-known by me as the vile "Waingro" in Michael Mann's HEAT), who takes her home. Tucker's wife Cindy (Lena Headey, "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles", 300) isn't too pleased at first, but soon warms up to the poor frightened woman. Then Chrome Skull shows up and pins Cindy's head to a wall with his knife.

We should probably talk about Chrome Skull's knife for a minute. It's a real doozy--in fact, it makes those things carried by guys like Jim Bowie and Crocodile Dundee look like toothpicks. Razor-sharp on one side, with jagged spikes on the other, the massive chrome blade is perfect not only for slicing and jabbing but also for sawing people's heads off. Which seems to be one of the many hobbies that keep Chrome Skull occupied. We never learn much about what happened to screw this guy up, but with a phallic extension like this, he definitely has a sexual hang-up or two rattling around in his shiny skull.

Anyway, Tucker is now on the run with Princess (his nickname for the mysterious girl) and along the way they pick up a geeky nerd named Stephen, who's played by the very familiar and funny Sean Whalen (THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, TWISTER). They take refuge in the funeral home, which is troublesome for Stephen since his mother just died, and even more troublesome when he sees her head floating toward him in the dark. After a lot of running around from place to place, and a lot of doing stupid stuff that people in slasher movies always do, the three finally end up barricaded in a small grocery store with a couple of rave-bound party boys named Tommy and Johnny (Thomas Dekker, Johnathon Schaech). But they can't keep Chrome Skull out for long, and before you know it he's in there making mincemeat out of anything with a heartbeat.

This is the kind of eye-popping, knuckle-baring slasher flick I was looking for back in the old days whenever I'd trudge to the latest FRIDAY THE 13TH crapfest or rent yet another piece of dreck like THE BURNING or THE PROWLER, ever hopeful that the next one would actually turn out to be worth watching. With LAID TO REST, Robert Hall has taken the old formula and done it up with all the bells and whistles--state-of-the-art gore effects from his own renowned makeup studio Almost Human, a sharp script that lovingly reprises all the old cliches while giving us a few new twists, a top-notch cast, and a cool monster who videotapes his kills with a shoulder-mounted camera (an element which will later provide clues to Princess' mysterious origins). Hall proves himself a very capable director, and the cinematography, done with a Panasonic HPX-3000 high-definition 1080p camera in the AVC Intra Mode (I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds awesome), makes this one of the best-looking indy slasher flicks you'll ever see. Hall's own band Deadbox contributes to the exciting heavy metal musical score.

Extras include an enthusiastic audio commentary from husband-wife team Hall and Luther and the half-hour "Postmortem: The Making of Laid to Rest", a very entertaining and well-produced documentary. There's also a look at "The SFX of Laid to Rest", a few deleted scenes, some funny bloopers, and a trailer.

This isn't "torture porn" as much as an homage to the classic stalker-slasher era with suspense sequences punctuated by sudden, flabbergasting death scenes. It's the kind of gore effects that you used to see featured in big full-color spreads in Fangoria magazine, but when you went to see the movie you'd find they'd all been snipped into almost subliminal split-second flashes to avoid an "X" rating. Not in this unrated director's cut, however--everything's as horribly graphic as the most avid gorehound could hope for. Almost Human studios specializes in realistic-looking dead bodies, which are abundant in the aftermath of Chrome Skull's homicidal activities, and they also give us some of the most shocking kill scenes ever created. These are done with good old-fashioned makeup FX (one death scene even uses bladders) which are augmented by CGI to create some pretty convincing carnage. The most jaw-dropping (literally!) effect comes fairly early as one guy gets Chrome Skull's blade right through his cheeks, which our whimsical hero removes by taking the top of the guy's head off. Yikes! If that sounds intriguing to you, then you really should check out LAID TO REST. If not, then I would advise you to stay as far away from this movie as possible.

LAID TO REST -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/11/10

A good old-fashioned nailbiter that keeps you on the edge of your seat, THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED (2009) is one of the most suspenseful and unpredictable thrillers I've seen in quite a while.

The film opens with a brisk montage of former cellmates Danny (Martin Compston) and Vic (Eddie Marsan) working industriously to lay the groundwork for a kidnapping.  Then comes the abduction, with poor Alice Creed (Gemma Arterton, QUANTUM OF SOLICE) wrested from her life as a millionaire's daughter and gagged, hooded, and handcuffed to a bed in a soundproofed room. 

After getting her all trembling and teary-eyed with threats of death, the kidnappers videotape her pleas to pay the ransom and use the message as a persuader for her rich father to come across with the cash.  All that remains after that is for the deal to go through so Vic and Danny can start a new life elsewhere with money to burn.

But you just know that something's going to go wrong with this seemingly foolproof plan somewhere along the way.  The inevitable glitch comes from out of nowhere and is a genuine surprise, setting the whole scheme unraveling in all sorts of interesting ways.  Danny, the inexperienced one who seems to be developing some sympathy toward Alice, can barely keep it together while the intimidating and at times overbearing Vic is unnervingly businesslike.  They're bound to clash sooner or later, especially when Danny screws up so badly that at one point he allows their captive to get the upper hand.

Strangely enough, in fact, I found that much of the suspense comes from worrying about what will happen to Danny if Vic discovers the mess he's made of things.  Added to that is the knowledge that Alice's fate hinges upon the success of their kidnapping scheme, since Vic is clearly prepared to do away with her at the slightest sign of trouble.  And as things get more and more complicated, with suspicions mounting in all directions, we're never sure what either of them is capable of.

Alice, meanwhile, keeps us guessing as well.  Frightened and docile one moment, she acts swiftly and decisively the first time she gets a chance.  Will she manage to escape, or simply give coldblooded Vic a reason to kill her?  And what, exactly, does Vic plan to do once he does get all that money?

That's all I'm going to say about the story, because surprise is the key to enjoying all the twists and turns that unfold during this often riveting tale.  Each character gains the advantage over the others at one time or another, so the final outcome remains a toss-up until the very end.  Suffice it to say that I was caught up in it from start to finish, and would be hard-pressed to recall a single dull spot. 

Writer-director J Blakeson's uncluttered, straightforward style is ideal for this material, especially since the story is so good that any added visual spice would be superfluous.  Since it's strictly a three-character film, a vital element in its success is the excellence of the performances, most notably Gemma Arterton in a gruelingly emotional role.  Martin Compston and Eddie Marsan also do a great job and are utterly convincing throughout.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a director's commentary, a deleted scene, an extended scene, some outtakes, some storyboard-to-film comparisons, and a trailer.

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED isn't a blockbuster or a rollercoaster ride, and it won't blow you through the back wall of the theater (or livingroom).  It's just a smart, solid, well-crafted little thriller that's a lot of fun to watch. 

THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED -- DVD Review by Porfle

HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/2/10

 

 

Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia does it again with HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD, another lighthearted soft-porn romp in the vein of BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS. This time, the story which serves as a connective tissue for the numerous sex scenes is flimsier than ever, but ultimately that doesn't really matter all that much, does it? 

 

The movie opens, unsurprisingly enough, in the bedroom of Max (Frankie Cullen) and Karen (Heather Vandeven), but that's not Karen whom Max is having furious simulated sex with--it's their ditzy neighbor, Rita (Rebecca Love). 

 

Nicely intercut with this are shots of a meteor headed for a fiery rendezvous with Earth--the simple CGI looks pretty good--which might serve as a metaphor for the fact that Karen is coming home early from a business trip. When she discovers Max and Rita in bed together, she's furious. Rita, we find, was told that Karen had been killed in a freak skateboard accident and that Max needed to be held. 

 

Karen grabs a bottle of Jack and angrily stomps out into the desert behind their house, where she finds the pieces of the fallen meteor. One of the shards shoots a jolt of energy into her head, transferring an alien entity into her body. 

 

Seemingly morphed into a Stepford wife, Karen cheerfully forgives Max and Rita. But she secretly has a new mission--find the plans for a top-secret galaxy-probing satellite that Max is working on for the government and destroy them before Earth discovers her home planet, which will lead to an intergalactic war. (How? It doesn't matter.) 

 

Meanwhile, Max's competitors at work, Tom (Tony Marino) and Carla (Christine Nguyen), are busy trying to steal the plans themselves so they can take credit for them. Using meteor shards in the form of necklaces, Karen zaps Carla and Rita with more alien entities. Their mission, however, is put on hold when the intoxicating carnal sensations of their new human bodies drive them to engage in lots and lots of sex. Betcha didn't see that coming. 

 

 

As in the rest of these Retromedia sex farces, HOUSEWIVES is capably directed and looks really good for its low budget, with a pleasant musical score. Best of all, however, is the fact that the lead castmembers not only look terrific but aren't bad actors, either. Frankie Cullen and Tony Marino continue to display a deft comic sense that sets them apart from the average leering stud muffin, while Christine Nguyen's sex appeal is matched by her own skills in this area. Too bad this particular script doesn't give them much of a chance to be funny. 

 

Heather Vandeven looks about as good as you'd expect a Penthouse Pet of the Year to look and is quite enthusiastic in her sex scenes. (It appears as though she's using the famous Stanislavski method in her shower scene.) My favorite, though, is the adorable and delightfully buxom Rebecca Love, who has now joined my list of future wives which will go into effect just as soon as I become a billionaire playboy and bigamy is decriminalized. 

 

Rounding out the supporting cast are Ted Newsom as Max's boss Mr. Roberts--Ted plays a normal person for a change, and is surprisingly adept at it--and Ron Ford as the shady foreign-type (he wears a fez) who schemes to purchase the satellite blueprints from a debt-plagued Tom. Both actors bring a certain substance to their roles which adds a little weight to this otherwise paper-thin story.

The DVD from Retromedia and Infinity is widescreen with Dolby Digital sound. Extras consist of trailers for this and several other Retromedia releases. 

 

As an entry in Retromedia's growing list of sci-fi and horror-tinged softcore sex comedies, HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD is extremely light on the comedy and story elements (though it does have a slight ZONTAR vibe at times). But with acres of bare skin on display and a cast that performs like Energizer bunnies at the drop of a hat, it's definitely fun to look at.

 

 

HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD -- DVD Review by Porfle