NOT COOL -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/12/15

 

I didn't have the same vehemently negative reaction to NOT COOL (2014) as one of its erstwhile producers, STAR TREK's Zachary Quinto. Anger and indignance toward its very existence were his main feelings after viewing the finished product, from which he had his name removed. All I felt during most of this raunchy teen comedy's running time were boredom and indifference.

As seen in the Starz reality series "The Chair", a single script by writer Dan Schoffer was turned into two very different movies simultaneously by first-time directors Shane Dawson and Anna Martemucci (hers was titled HOLLIDAYSBURG), then voted upon by an audience to determine who would win a cash prize of $250,000.

It should come as no surprise to longtime fans of Dawson's raucous YouTube videos that Martemucci's semi-chick-flick take on the story turned out to be positively sedate compared to his frenzied interpretation, which is a no-holds-barred explosion of tasteless gross-out humor that leaves no graphic vomit, fart, dick, poop, or sex joke unexploited.

While that's not really all that new (I mean, PORKY'S) and I actually like several comedies that could be termed "gross-out" (NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is a personal fave), Dawson is saddled with an added element he's never had to deal with before on YouTube--heart.

NOT COOL is, beneath its oil-slick veneer of utter crudeness, a touchy-feely love story in which we're actually supposed to care about these cartoony characters, which we don't. It's like watching ANIMAL HOUSE and suddenly being asked to get in touch with Bluto's inner loneliness and inability to form a lasting love-bond with Mandy Pepperidge. The two sensibilities not only clash, but detract from each other as well.

The story begins with former high school prom king Scott (played by Dawson) getting blown through a "glory hole" in a public restroom stall by his caricature of a slutty girlfriend Heather after returning from college to his hometown for Thanksgiving. Heather picks this moment to break up with him, after which Scott cute-meets and then falls in love with former classmate Tori (Cherami Leigh), whom he had previously ignored. Unconvincing romantic complications ensue.

Meanwhile, Scott's sister Janie (Michelle Veintimilla) is being cute-stalked by the virginal Joel (Drew Monson), a lovesick employee in her dad's record store, with his desperate attempts to win her over growing more outlandish by the minute. This subplot also suffers from the schizo juxtaposition of blatantly farcical elements with a slathering of insincere warmth that's supposed to make us smile even as we wince in disgust.

In the midst of all this, we're treated to the sight of a homeless guy eating his own feces, Tori getting a rancid faceful of barf at a party, the same homeless guy guzzling his own freshly-squeezed urine from a Dixie cup, Scott taking a dump on Heather's lawn, an extreme close-up of the homeless guy's jiggling junk, and other similar expressions of Dawson's manic desire to shock and offend us into gales of mindless laughter.

The film is capably directed but has the candy-coated veneer of a made-for-TV teen movie. The cast of relative unknowns do their best with their shallow characters, with one of the most enthusiastic performances turned in by Dawson's real-life girlfriend Lisa Schwartz as Tori's "Miss Perfect" (but comically blind) sister Marissa. As Scott, Dawson himself struggles with a tendency to be overly cute at times, while coming off as rather grating in his various drag cameos.

Needless to say, NOT COOL will probably succeed with certain audiences--Shane Dawson's YouTube fans should eat this up with a spoon, and the DVD may prove popular at frat parties with plenty of beer and weed floating around. But before Dawson gets another shot at directing a movie, he may have to make a serious effort to mature beyond making feature-length YouTube videos. I like a good gross-out comedy myself, but--unlike the angry and deeply offended Zachary Quinto--I just found NOT COOL to be drab, joyless, and utterly unexceptional.


Read our review of HOLLIDAYSBURG
Read our review of THE CHAIR

NOT COOL -- Movie Review by Porfle

HOLLIDAYSBURG -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/12/15

 

During the Starz reality series "The Chair" (in which two first-time directors are given the same script to shoot) I was skeptical about the kind of film Anna Martemucci was going to come up with as opposed to her competitor, YouTube star Shane Dawson (NOT COOL). From what I could see during the documentary footage of the shoot, it appeared she was doggedly marching right through standard touchy-feely chick-flick territory and hitting all the usual stops along the way.

After watching HOLLIDAYSBURG (2014), however, I'm happy to say I couldn't have been more wrong. What didn't come across during the TV series--which, naturally, played up Martemucci's less decisive and self-confident moments for dramatic effect--is what a firm grasp she had over the visual and emotional effect she was going for during the film's sometimes difficult gestation process. Despite a few minor missteps, it's a genuinely solid and professional-looking effort.

The lead roles are well-acted by a cast of relative unknowns. Tobin Mitnick has an easygoing charm as Scott, who returns from college to his hometown for Thanksgiving only to find that his mom has moved to Florida (he stays in the almost-empty family home with his brother Phil, played by Martemucci's brother-in-law and filmmaking partner, Philip Quinaz) and that being Mr. Popular in high school doesn't mean as much when school is over.

Having just been dumped by his flighty girlfriend Heather (Claire Chapelli)--during sex, no less--Scott quickly falls for another returning classmate, Tori (Rachel Keller in another appealing performance), whom he had always ignored before. Their quickie and rather rocky romance is further complicated when Scott's friend Petroff (Tristan Erwin) falls into an improbable relationship with Heather.

None of this is exactly earth-shaking, and the film's humor is understated to say the least, but it's kind of nice to watch a low-key character comedy that isn't just a series of gags. While it takes a little time to start getting familiar with (and caring) about these characters, I found myself settling into it and enjoying it without really trying too hard.

The comedy sort of sneaks up on you at times and rarely seems forced. A highlight is the pep-talk monologue by likable loser Mitch (Brian Shoaf), who's currently romancing Heather's mom, in which he clumsily tries to cheer her up after she decides not to go to college. Other "Thanksgiving with the folks" bits of business are funny as well.

I wasn't aware that Anna Martemucci was playing a role (as Tori's sister, Courtney) since I don't remember it even being mentioned during her scenes in "The Chair" (maybe I missed it). Anyway, it's a small part and she does a good job in front of the camera. Her brother-in-law Philip is likable as Phil, who spends most of the movie in the kitchen, obsessively trying to bake pumpkin pies the way his dad used to.

Happily, after following the making of this film during "The Chair", I find that Martemucci shows a distinct flair for directing. The film looks really good for its budget, with good cinematography and great use of Pittsburgh locations. Ultimately I was very impressed with the surehanded and skillful job she has done here--her camera placement, handling of actors, and command of other filmmaking elements to create a visually pleasing and emotionally resonant comedy-drama are pretty much impeccable.

I was quite pleasantly surprised that I liked HOLLIDAYSBURG as much as I did--it goes down easy, with no unpleasant aftertaste. The ending is rather poignant, even a tad haunting, without overdoing it. In fact, nothing about the film seems overdone. Like Phil's final batch of experimental pumpkin pies, it came out just right.

Read our review of NOT COOL
Read our review of THE CHAIR

 

HOLLIDAYSBURG -- Movie Review by Porfle

Two Modern Vehicle Bloopers In "Shane" (1953) (video)

It's one of the great westerns of all time...with two great modern vehicle bloopers.

The first one has been erased from the movie...but can still be seen in the trailer.
Look right past Shane as he approaches the Starrett ranch.

The second one happens later when Joey is talking to Shane. 
Look through the open window right behind Joey, right over the top fence rail.

And to think, the people in those vehicles never knew they were in this movie.

Originally posted on 9/10/18
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Two Modern Vehicle Bloopers In "Shane" (1953) (video)