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Thursday, November 21, 2024

ZULU DAWN -- Blu-Ray/DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 3/12/13

 

The Battle of Isandlwana is known as history's worst defeat of a "modern" army by native forces, and you'll see why when you watch Severin Films' Blu-Ray/DVD release of the rip-roaring ZULU DAWN (1979), a disheartening portrait of a pointless and utterly wasteful military massacre.

It's 1879, and the supremely arrogant Lord Chelmsford (Peter O'Toole), who commands the British Army in South Africa, is eager to declare war on the Zulu Empire for fun and profit.  He sends an unreasonable ultimatum to the Zulu king, Cetshwayo, which is rightly refused, giving Lord Chelmsford an excuse to go on the offensive.

"My only fear is that the Zulus will avoid an engagement," Chelmsford haughtily remarks, and a successful initial skirmish with a small band of Zulus reinforces his false confidence.  But unknown to him, King Cetshwayo has 30,000 fierce warriors ready to bring the fight to the advancing enemy, and when they clash with the unsuspecting British forces it quickly escalates into a terrifying one-sided slaughter.


Before this, however, ZULU DAWN takes its sweet time building up to the action as we watch the overconfident British forces at work and play in the town of Natal.  We see them as sophisticated gentleman soldiers dashing around self-importantly on horseback or engaging in spirited training exercises and bonding rituals as though living some curdled version of the "Boys' Adventure" tales.  Only Col. Anthony Durnford (Burt Lancaster) seems to have any understanding of the Zulus and how dangerous it is to underestimate them, but Chelmsford dismisses his warnings.

An elegant garden party gives officers and their families a taste of proper English life as realistic characters rub shoulders with familiar caricatures such as the achingly genteel Fanny Colenso (Anna Caulder-Marshall, WUTHERING HEIGHTS).  The party ends with the declaration of war and before long, horsemen and infantry are marching toward Zululand as their keen anticipation of battle grows.  "What a wonderful adventure we're undertaking!" one of them beams while riding briskly along on horseback.    

Meanwhile, we're given a preview of what they're up against when we see King Cetshwayo impassively viewing a fight to the death and reacting to Lord Chelmsford's ultimatum with a calm dismissal.  He's cruel and unyielding, ordering executions without trials and ruling with an iron fist, but we can't help but see his side of the issue and sympathize, as the film clearly aims to throw our loyalties for either side into conflict.  On one hand, the Zulus are protecting their homeland from outsiders and are portrayed as brave, loyal comrades.  On the other, honorable soldiers are being sent unprepared into a hopeless battle at the behest of unworthy superiors. 


When the two forces finally meet, it's like Custer's Last Stand multiplied by ten.  Current filmmakers like Peter Jackson can give us millions of CGI-generated soldiers in conflict, but there's still nothing quite as impressive as seeing thousands of actual people going at it on an expansive cinematic battlefield that's roiling with furious action. 

The clash of fighting styles is woefully evident as the smartly-dressed British line up in neat rows and fire in an orderly fashion while the Zulus stampede toward them by the thousands like a human avalanche.  Almost the entire second half of ZULU DAWN consists of such an overwhelming defeat of the British that there's barely even any suspense save the question of how long the massacre will last. 

Scattered vignettes depict small instances of valor that are somewhat redeeming, such as the attempt of Lt. William Vereker (Simon Ward) to rescue the battalion's colors and carry them to safety, and the heroism of C.S.M. Williams (Bob Hoskins) as he fights to the death in hand-to-hand combat alongside a callow young soldier with whom he has formed a fatherly bond.  We get to know some of the Zulus as well, as they're captured by the British and tortured before giving false information and, eventually, managing to escape as their erstwhile captors are then led into an ambush.


Peter O'Toole and Burt Lancaster are superb as they lead a remarkable cast including Denholm Elliott (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK), Simon Ward, Bob Hoskins, John Mills, Freddie Jones, Ronald Lacey, Nigel Davenport, Phil Daniels, Michael Jayston, and Anna Calder-Marshall.  Composer Elmer Bernstein (THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, THE GREAT ESCAPE) contributes a score that's passable but not up to his usual standards.

Director Douglas Hickox (THEATER OF BLOOD, THE GIANT BEHEMOTH) handles first unit photography in a consistently interesting and imaginative way, with the initial scenes evincing a drollness and dry wit that evolves into an epic grandeur that's often bracing.  The main drawback is that much of the film's first half is almost too dry and conservatively paced, although this is more than made up for by the continuous action that follows the halfway mark.
 
The Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack from Severin Films is in widescreen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound and full HD resolution.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of "The History of the Zulu Wars" and "A Visit to the Battlefield" with author Ian Knight ("Zulu Rising"), "Recreating the War" with historical advisor Midge Carter, a theatrical trailer, and outtakes. 

Fans of British colonialism will probably want to skip ZULU DAWN lest they find it an ultimately dispiriting experience.  Anyone who gets off on seeing a "primitive" indigenous population repelling a superior invading force, on the other hand, should have a ball.  But those interested in military history and warfare, and war-movie fans in general, will be best served by this vivid and sweeping depiction of one of the most unsual battles ever fought.



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Wednesday, November 20, 2024

"Police Squad!" Coffee Commercial (Episode 4: 3/25/82) (video)

 


Detective Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) is pursuing a mad bomber...

...in this hilarious parody of coffee commercials.

He consults with Police Squad's resident forensic expert.

But too much caffeine has made him cranky.

Decaf to the rescue!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

 


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Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Glaring SPFX Blooper in "The Invisible Woman" (1940) (video)




When playing an "invisible" character, actors once wore black body suits...

...and the black-clad parts would be "invisible" against the matted-in backgrounds.

But in this scene from "The Invisible Woman" (1940), there's a brief slip-up...

...and for a few seconds, we're able to see Virginia Bruce's black arm sleeve against her skirt. 


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!



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Monday, November 18, 2024

Telephone Pole Blooper in "CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON" (Universal-International, 1954) (video)




This classic monster-hunt adventure takes place in the farthest unexplored reaches of the Amazon.

A place untouched by human beings and their scientific gadgets.

So you wouldn't expect to find even the smallest trace of modern technology...much less, a telephone pole. 

Matted widescreen versions of the movie obscure the telephone pole.

But not the original full screen version.

I guess even the Creature has to call Mom on Mother's Day!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!




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Sunday, November 17, 2024

Footy Pajamas Kid vs. The Blob ("THE BLOB", 1958) (video)

 


The Blob terrorizes the town!

Steve McQueen does his best to stop it!

But all hope may, in fact, depend upon...

...Danny, the footy pajamas kid.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!



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Saturday, November 16, 2024

Painful-Looking Stunt in Vampire Classic "NEAR DARK" (1987) (video)




In Kathryn Bigelow's widely-revered cult classic...

...Caleb (Adrian Pasdar) is a novice vampire still discovering his new abilities.

Such as being able to knock a man across a barroom with one punch.

The stunt man gets yanked backward by a (visible) cable...

...and is supposed to land flat on a pool table.

Instead, his spine sharply strikes the edge of the table.

Which looks much more painful than planned.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!


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Friday, November 15, 2024

Does Larry Talbot Fight Off a Wolf or a Man? ("The Wolf Man", 1941) (video)




In "The Wolf Man", Bela the Gypsy (Bela Lugosi) is a werewolf...

...who sees the sign of death in his next victim's palm.

The werewolf attacks Jenny in the forest, and Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney) rushes to her aid.

But does he fight off a wolf, or a wolf man?


I neither own nor claim the rights to any of this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!



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Thursday, November 14, 2024

The Pillory Scene From "Hunchback Of Notre Dame" (Lon Chaney, 1923) (video)




Quasimodo (Lon Chaney), the deaf bell-ringer at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris...

...has been convicted of a crime for which he is innocent.

His sentence is to be tied to the public pillory and whipped.

Will no one take pity on him?



Quasimodo: Lon Chaney
Esmeralda: Patsy Ruth Miller

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

 
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Wednesday, November 13, 2024

PRIMITIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 


Originally posted on 9/24/20

 

I've just viewed the stomach-churning Indonesian gorefest PRIMITIVES, aka "Savage Terror" (Severin Films, 1980), which rivals Lucio Fulci and Bruno Mattei's rawest, grisliest jungle carnage epics for sheer shock and disgust.

Having done so, it's safe to say that the vast majority of "normal" film aficianados will go miles out of their way to avoid it while a very small percentage of twisted gorehounds will machete their way through dense jungles to beat a path to its door.

Doing just that, in fact, are our main characters, hunky Robert (Barry Prima, THE WARRIOR), babe-a-licious Rita (Enny Haryono), and nerdy Tommy (Johann Mardjono), who, along with jungle-savvy guide Bisma (Rukman Herman), are making their way deep into the bush to study the most primitive tribe they can find in order to beef up their college cred. 

 
The first tribe Bisma introduces them to seems backward to us at first, but these quaint, friendly natives are practically upper-crust compared to the mysterious denizens of the even deeper and darker reaches of Nowheresville that the college kids insist Bisma lead them to against his own better judgement.

Up until the midpoint of the story it's all just the usual trudging through the brush and rafting down the river as our main characters engage in adventurous frivolity, foolishly thinking they're up to whatever's in store for them.

That's when the crockpot of horror that PRIMITIVES has been cooking up till then is finally ready to be served up to these unsuspecting dweebs, starting with a surprise attack that separates Robert and Rita from the others and lands them smack in the middle of the primitive tribe's village for some of the bloodiest, creepiest, and downright ickiest goings-on that this sort of movie can dredge up.

Animal lovers will be aghast at much of it, with one of the film's major setpieces consisting of a live alligator being disembowled as its insides are hacked into pieces which are then tossed to members of the tribe to voraciously devour raw. (Other shocking sights include a leopard taking on two crocodiles and a really big iguana being swallowed whole by a really big snake.)

Scarier still is the fact that the gore-encrusted extras in these sequences seem as bug-eyed crazy as the characters they're playing, chowing down greedily on pulsating animal parts and showering themselves in warm blood.

In fact, it's often downright impossible to distinguish the real blood and guts from the fake. It's as though the filmmakers managed to corral an entire herd of freaked-out circus geeks to perform for the camera in exchange for all the raw meat they could devour.

Lest we forget, though, there's still the story of Robert and Rita enduring prolonged torment at the hands of these ultra-primitives and finally making their escape followed by a lengthy chase scene as they trudge toward the river where freedom awaits. A few surprises pop up here and there, someone gets a spear right in the crotch, and finally the whole searing fever dream is over. 

The Blu-ray from Severin Films was scanned in HD from the Jakarta vault negative. Kraftwerk fans will recognize their classic song "The Robots" in the opening credits. Extras include interviews with producer Gope T. Samtani and screenwriter Imam Tantowi, a trailer, and an alternate title sequence. The case features reversible art and the special edition comes with a slipcover.

Still the only film of its kind ever made Indonesia, PRIMITIVES finds director Sisworo Gautama Putra, screenwriter Imam Tantowi and producer Gope T. Samtani putting together a film with negligible production values, gut-wrenching imagery, some disturbing animal abuse, and a supporting cast of wretches who look like genuine refugees from an asylum for the dangerously insane. To watch it is to subject oneself to an endurance test, perhaps gauging our own responses to it in order to evaluate just how nutty we are.


Buy it at Severin Films

Special edition w/slipcover


Special Features:

    Producing PRIMITIVES – Interview with Producer Gope T. Samtani
    Way Down in the Jungle Deep – Interview with Screenwriter Imam Tantowi
    Trailer
    Alternate Title Sequence
    Reversible Wrap
    Exclusive slipcover (special editon only)



Reversible art:

Slipcover art (special edition only):




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Tuesday, November 12, 2024

COMBAT! FAN FAVORITES 50TH ANNIVERSARY -- DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 9/30/12

 

During the initial TV run of the World War II drama series "Combat!" (1962-67) I couldn't get into it because it was too grown-up.  During its syndicated reruns, I was going through my "pacifist" phase and couldn't stand to watch anything war-related unless it was blatantly, even stridently anti-war.  Now, however, I'm blazing my way through Image Entertainment's 5-disc DVD set COMBAT! FAN FAVORITES 50th ANNIVERSARY like Patton making a beeline to Berlin.

Without a doubt, this is some of the best stuff ever done for series television.  Gritty, realistic (as far as I know, anyway), and unflinchingly adult, the adventures of Sgt. Saunders (Vic Morrow), Lt. Hanley (Rick Jason), and their battle-weary squad of American infantry veterans in post-Normandy Europe puts us right in the middle of all the action and lets us share some of the emotional and existential turmoil that haunts these soldiers every perilous step of the way.

No flag-waving here--these are simply stories about hot, tired, and, most of all, scared soldiers doing a grueling job and trying to stay alive on the front lines.  The streetwise Kirby (Jack Hogan), Lousiana bayou denizen Caje (Pierre Jalbert), gentle giant Littlejohn (Dick Peabody), and compassionate medic Doc (Conlan Carter) wade into the fray with guns blazing yet struggle to retain their humanity, always coming across as three-dimensional human beings and never simple action figures.


Moral quandaries and crises of the soul get just as much play in these well-written stories as gunfights and explosions.  The dialogue snaps, crackles, and pops, and so do the performances.  Method actor Morrow is terrific as the gruff but sensitive Sgt. Saunders, who always does the right thing no matter how painful it may be, and doesn't hesitate, when necessary, to bark out a speech such as the following: "Kirby, I'm only gonna say this once, and I'll say it to all of you.  Keep your mouths shut, your heads down, and your ears open.  Follow my orders and don't ask why.  Is that clear?" 

Saunders sometimes questions orders himself, but his commanding officer Lt. Hanley is equally terse: "Because we were told to."  Rick Jason's seldom-seen character may seem like weak stuff at first, but his depth comes through in less flamboyant but equally dramatic sequences such as in the flashback episode "A Day in June" which, on a TV budget and with generous amounts of stock footage, depicts the D-Day landing at Normandy.  Jason also gets to show his stuff in "The Enemy", a tense two-man conflict between him and a cunning German demolitions expert played by Robert Duvall.  (Anna Lee guest stars as a nun.)

These taut, riveting dramas are punctuated by explosive battle sequences blazing with some of the most thundrous and thrilling action ever filmed for television, often of feature film quality but without the big-money effects.  The beautiful black-and-white photography sometimes approximates the texture of a Joe Kubert-drawn war comic, and many episodes boast skillful direction by the likes of Robert Altman, Ted Post, Bernard McEveety, and Burt Kennedy.  (Morrow himself directs three titles in this set.)  Editing and other production elements are also first-rate.


A two part episode, "Hills Are for Heroes", holds its own with "Saving Private Ryan" or "Band of Brothers" for fierce non-stop battle action that's realistic, harrowing, and emotionally devastating.  Written by "Star Trek: The Original Series" veteran Gene L. Coon and directed by Morrow, it's the story of the squad's seemingly doomed effort to capture a hilltop bunker that's practically impregnable. 

Mutiny looms as the body count rises, with Kirby and the others threatening to disobey the relentless orders that a heartbroken Lt. Hanley is forced to convey from the top.  The awful burden of command is depicted in scenes of almost unbearable intensity, with Hanley privately lamenting to Saunders that the brass "with their maps and their lines...forget they're talking about flesh and blood...and men who die when bullets hit them."
 
Attack after harrowing attack is doomed to bloody failure as Vic Morrow's sometimes impressionistic direction puts us right in the middle of the action (the handheld camerawork of the series is outstanding for its time), even capturing the POV of a dying soldier whose world has just been shot out from under him. 


If you took the first twenty minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" and extended the sequence to feature length (albeit on a much smaller scale), you'd have something approximating "Hills Are for Heroes."  In my opinion this incredible two-part episode, taken as a whole, constitutes one of the finest low-budget war films ever made.  By any standard, it's absolutely phenomenal television.

Each of the five discs in this DVD set follows a specific theme illustrated by four well-chosen episodes.  The first three themes are "Espionage", "New Replacements", and "The Squad", followed by "The Best of Hanley" and "The Best of Saunders."  "Espionage" begins the set with James Coburn as a German spy pretending to be an American G.I. in "Masquerade."  James Whitmore portrays a German officer trapped into impersonating a priest in "The Cassock", an episode that achieves a genuine kind of dramatic fascination when one of Saunders' men prevails upon the faux priest to hear his confession. 

"New Replacements" tells the stories of raw recruits--some fearful, some arrogant, and some just pitifully out of place--who, for better or worse, become attached to Saunders' squad.  Among the guest stars are John Cassavetes ("S.I.W."), Nick Adams, John Considine, Tab Hunter, and Buck Taylor.  "The Squad" shows us the day to day struggles, heartbreaks, and occasional victories experienced by the men under Saunders' command, with Lee Marvin giving his usual hardbitten performance as an abrasively uncompromising demolitions expert in "The Leader." 

"The Best of Saunders" begins with the Robert Altman-directed "Survival", probably my least favorite episode in the bunch, and steadily improves with the aid of some great stories and guest stars such as Rip Torn ("A Gift of Hope") and James Caan as a young German officer ("Anatomy of a Patrol").  "The Best of Hanley" contains some of the set's finest episodes with "A Day in June", "The Enemy", and "Hills Are for Heroes" parts 1 and 2.  Guest stars include Harry Dean Stanton, Sheckey Greene, a blink-and-you'll-miss-him Tom Skerritt (unbilled), and the aformentioned Robert Duvall and Anna Lee.

Other episodes not previously mentioned are "The Little Jewel", "The Long Walk", "Bridgehead", "Bridge at Chalons", "The Glory Among Men", "Rear Echelon Commandos", "The Celebrity", "The First Day", and "The Little Carousel."

The DVD set from Image Entertainment is in full frame (1.33:1) with Dolby Digital mono sound.  No subtitles or closed-captioning.  No bonus features.  Picture quality looks great to me, but my copy seemed to have a problem with occasionally jittery-sounding audio, particularly in the background music.  Not a dealbreaker for me, but audiophiles may want to give the set a test-drive before buying.

Perfect for Veteran's Day or any other day, COMBAT! FAN FAVORITES 50th ANNIVERSARY is solid entertainment all the way.  If you're into war movies or you just like first-rate, hard-hitting action and drama, television rarely gets any better than this. 




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Monday, November 11, 2024

SLASHER.COM -- DVD Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 3/1/17

 

You know you're in for a good time when a movie not only meets whatever modest expectations you may have for it, but continually surpasses them from the first scene all the way to the last.

Not that SLASHER.COM (2017) is in danger of winning Best Picture or anything, but it does take the lowbrow and often "blah" genre that is its namesake and uses it as the raw material to carve out a finely-hewn piece of cinematic folk art. 

A dynamic opening titles sequence recounting the recent slasher murders of St. Louis singles answering lonely hearts ads online leads us to, you guessed it, a couple of strangers hooking up via an online dating service and venturing out into the wilds of Missouri to spend a getting-to-know-you weekend in a secluded cabin.


Right off the bat, we have to start wondering if those nice facades are for real, or if there's anything Jack (Ben Kaplan, "Pillow Talk", "Weekend Warriors") or Kristy (Morgan Carter in a solid debut) might be hiding as they settle into their fun weekend of romance and a bit of hanky-panky.

What we don't expect is how...well..."odd" the people renting the cabin to them turn out to be.  The Myers family includes Papa Jesse, played by R.A. Mihailoff (DARK HOUSE, LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III), who looks like he was born to play a machete-wielding boogeyman, and oversexed daughter Caitlin (Rebecca Crowley), a backwoods child-woman who eyes Jack up and down with all sorts of illicit intent.

Best of all, though, is Jewel Shepard as Mama Myers, the matriarch of the family.  Stuffed into a dress half her size, this overripe matron (who's both too nice and too creepy, a deadly combination) practically oozes "horny" as she ingratiates herself to the nervous young couple, taking special interest in our Jackie boy.

 


Shepard's performance in the role is one of the most deliciously demented I've seen since Lynn Lowry blew through last year's MODEL HUNGER, and she helps push SLASHER.COM deliriously over the top.  Not that it needs that much help, since its premise starts out deceptively simple before taking an abrupt left turn into stark, raving coo-coo and then never letting up.

Once this happens, we can't be quite sure who's who or what's what, which keeps things wonderfully unpredictable.  Just when one of my suspicions turned out to be true, another surprise caught me totally off-guard. 

In fact, this script, which tiptoes around "torture porn" territory without ever actually succumbing to it, delights in playing up our expectations by giving us just what we expect one moment and then pulling the rug out from under us the next.


Technically, SLASHER.COM is sharply-rendered and is simply a pleasure to look at.  Director Chip Gubera keeps a keen edge on the action and visuals while also handling writing (with Chelsea Andes) and music chores.  His rock score adds to the film without overpowering it. 

There isn't a whole lot of gore, but what there is has been done with traditional 80s-style practical effects--indeed, the whole film just has the kind of vibe one gets from the more satisfying genre films of that decade.

The DVD from Cinedigm is widescreen with Dolby 2.0 stereo sound (English only).  No subtitles.  The sole extra is the film's trailer. 

As exceptional as it is, SLASHER.COM keeps things pretty basic while embellishing its barebones storyline with good performances, quirky characters, chills and suspense, and some twists that only the usual "I saw it coming" types will see coming.  I wish every movie of this type could be as much bloody good fun.



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Sunday, November 10, 2024

THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/23/10

 

Few novels have yielded as many movie adaptations as Robert Louis Stevenson's classic Jekyll-and-Hyde story. This tale of the eternal conflict between good and evil within every individual is not only a fascinating story, but it serves as a jumping-off point for filmmakers to come up with a seemingly endless number of variations and interpretations--DR. BLACK AND MR. HYDE, DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE, MARY REILLY, and even THE NUTTY PROFESSOR come to mind--with wildly varying degrees of success.

Now we can add writer-director John Carl Buechler's THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (2006) to the list. This time the story takes place in the present, retaining just enough elements of the original novel to justify using the title. Golden-voiced genre fave Tony Todd (CANDYMAN, THE CROW) stars as Dr. Henry Jekyll, a research scientist working for a corporation that's funding some kind of nano-technology experiments on chimps. He's developed a nano-serum that, when injected into the bloodstream, can drastically alter the physical makeup of the subject and devolve it to a more beastly state.

It goes without saying, of course, that Jekyll has been unwisely using the serum on himself. I'm not sure why, since this version of the character doesn't seem to be motivated by the idea of separating the good and evil sides of his nature. The fact that the serum turns him into a murderous human monster seems to be an unforeseen side-effect. But I guess it doesn't really matter, since this film doesn't aspire to be anything more than a gory monster movie--which it succeeds in doing pretty well.

This time Hyde isn't just a mean guy who murders a couple of people--he's an unstoppable killing machine whose frequent rampages result in several graphically violent murders. Buechler uses his well-known makeup-effects skills to good advantage in these scenes as Hyde disembowels people and bites off various parts of their bodies, all while gleefully entertaining them and us with Freddy Krueger-style wisecracks.

He's pretty scary, too, especially in the transformation scenes in which people who are in the company of the innocuous Jekyll suddenly find themselves confronted by the horrible Hyde. Buechler goes all out in the final scenes as Hyde's body goes out of control and starts morphing into a series of hideous forms.

It all looks low-budget and cheesy but that adds to the fun. This goes for the dialogue, too, as in this early exchange between Jekyll and Hyde:

"What the hell did you do...you murdering...ASSHOLE!"

"Tsk, tsk. Sticks and stones may bust my bones--but an asshole never hurt me."


And then there's the scene where Lt. Hamilton (Peter Jason) is scolding investigating homicide detective Karen Utterson (Tracy Scoggins) for never carrying a gun because of what happened to her former partner:

"The gun exploded in HIS hand, not yours."

"Yeah, I was there, remember? A piece of his SKULL hit me in the EYE!"

 

As indicated here, a tenuous connection is made to Stevenson's novel through the use of various character names. Scoggins is Karen Utterson, while her partner (Stephen Wastell) is named Enfield. Vernon Wells ( "Wez" of THE ROAD WARRIOR) plays Jekyll's friend Lanyon, Deborah Shelton is the ill-fated corporate executive Donna Carew, and Jekyll's personal assistant (Peter Lupus III) is named Poole. Tim Thomerson shows up in a couple of scenes as a medical examiner, but his character is named--Arnie Swift?

When Jekyll's wife Renee (Judith Shekoni) decides to throw an "Opera Night" party at the club that she manages, this finally gives Buechler an opportunity to dress his Jekyll/Hyde in the familiar top hat, tails, and cane outfit that we're accustomed to. Hyde poops the opera party big-time and heads back to the lab--leaving a trail of bodies along the way--where the police catch up to him and there's a wild free-for-all finale.

Tony Todd isn't very memorable as Dr. Jekyll, but his Mr. Hyde is delightfully horrible and over-the-top. Which is a pretty good way to describe THE STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE. Despite the literary lure of the title, it's nothing more than a gory, goofy monster movie. And sometimes that's enough.
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Saturday, November 9, 2024

THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle




 Originally posted on 11/18/2019

 

I went into THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK, aka "Gwendoline" (Severin Films, 1984) expecting to see the usual "so bad it's good" cheesefest. What I didn't expect was for it to be "so bad it's epic."

The film starts with a beautiful minute-long tracking shot of a Chinese shipping dock that's so detailed and crowded with costumed extras, so well-choreographed, and so artistically layered that it's worthy of comparison to Ridley Scott's city exteriors in BLADE RUNNER.  

This lavishly detailed eye-candy continues throughout the early part of the film, leading to equally impressive exteriors when director Just Jaeckin (EMMANUELLE, THE STORY OF O) takes us outside for some location shots in jungles and deserts which boast magnificent exotic vistas.


(Unfortunately, while these scenes might temporarily make you think you're watching a David Lean movie, they're poorly served by the rinky-dink musical score.) 

And then the film finishes with even more opulent interiors, this time rivaling those impregnable bad-guy fortresses from the Bond films with impressive sci-fi/fantasy design and more armies of extras (this time they're gorgeous female soldiers in service to an evil queen), all there to wow us before being destroyed in a fiery display of SPFX pyrotechnics.

The weird part is that all of this technical prowess and visual opulence forms the backdrop of a hokey, derivative action/fantasy tale that would usually be told on a low budget with less than stellar production values.


And being in the midst of all this cinematic finery just seems to make the incredible hokiness of Tawny Kitaen's gorgeous but naive Catholic school runaway searching the Orient for her missing father and Brent Huff's macho, swaggering soldier of fortune who ends up helping her seem somehow even more endearing.

I'm not sure if it's their exaggerated performances or just the strident dubbing, but the characters of Gwendoline and Willard are wonderfully over-the-top as they fully embody all the usual cliches of the plucky damsel in distress and the self-centered cad turned reluctant hero.

As per John Willie's classic bondage comics, Gwendoline ends up bound and gagged several times during the course of the story and rescued by Willard, who goes into action against martial arts masters, hulking thugs, and weird tribal zealots before the two of them, along with Gwendoline's faithful sidekick Beth (the very cute Zabou), make their way to the exotic underground land of Yik Yak where her father disappeared searching for a rare butterfly.


It's like a mash-up of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "The African Queen", with all the naughty sexploitation elements of an old "Cinemax After Dark" flick from the 80s. 

This is especially true when our heroes' captivity by the evil Queen (Bernadette Lafont) and her minions turns into a real kink-fest of exotic bondage and weird sexual rites climaxing (!) with Gwendoline herself battling against several warrior women and Willard's virtue hanging in the balance for a change.

I got the same vibe from all of this as I did watching Jim Wynorski's sexy fantasy adventure THE LOST EMPIRE (1983) way back in the VHS days, only with much better production values. I was also reminded a bit of BARBARELLA.


It's as though the makers of some big-budget epic were allowing director Jaeckin to come in on alternate days and use their sets, extras, and facilities to shoot his own low-budget movie.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned uncut in 4k from the original negative recently discovered in a Paris vault. Severin has outdone themselves with a bonus menu too loaded with goodies to list here (see below for full details) including an alternate U.S. cut and two commentary tracks.

Not as heavily kink-oriented as John Willie's original comics and with a much more lighthearted tone, THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK nevertheless revels in sexuality both frothy and lewd while taking us on a grand adventure that's like an express train through bad movie land with first-class accomodations.


Buy it from Severin Films


Special Features:

    Alternate US Release Version: THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK
    Audio Commentary with Director Just Jaeckin
    Audio Commentary with Stars Tawny Kitaen and Brent Huff
    The Butterfly Effect: 2019 Interview with Director Just Jaeckin
    Bondage Paradise: Interviews with Costume & Concept Designers & Comic Book Artists François Schuiten and Claude Renard
    The Perils Of Production: Interview with Executive Producer Jean-Claude Fleury
    Gwendoline’s Travels: Interview with Production Designer Françoise Deleu
    Blu-Ray Promos with Tawny Kitaen & Brent Huff
    The Last Temptation Of Just: 2006 Interview with Director Just Jaeckin
    Dr. Kinsey Interview with John Willie, Creator of SWEET GWENDOLINE
    Revealing Tawny Kitaen Photospread for French LUI Magazine
    Trailers
    Reversible Cover


Alternate Cover:





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Friday, November 8, 2024

THE HEROIC ONES -- Movie Review by Porfle



Originally posted on 3/11/16

 

From the legendary Shaw Brothers, THE HEROIC ONES (1970) is a rousing tale of ancient China that's a feast for fans of sword and spear action done on a grand scale.

As the Tang Dynasty wanes, warlords Li Ke Yong and Zhu Wen become allies in the fight against bandit leader Wang Chao, who has taken over the capital city of Changon.

Li Ke Yong's thirteen generals, whom he has adopted and regards as sons, are fierce super-warriors who love a good battle as much as they love getting drunk and making whoopee. He chooses nine of them to be led by thirteenth son Chun Xiao in a mission to retake Changon and kill Wang.


But fourth son Li Cun Xin is jealous of the young general and wants more glory for himself, which will lead to him and another son joining Zhu Wen in a bloody betrayal of Li Ke Yong and the other generals.

Cheh Chang's direction is old-style with lots of restless hand-held camera and whiplash zooms. But with a big budget to work with, he offers up an opulent display of elaborate sets and costumes with hundreds of extras.

His battle scenes are often spectacular, featuring some impressive choreography involving numerous actors performing long, complicated bits of business. Swords and spears clash furiously as the generals take on waves of opponents and rack up body counts well into the hundreds.


There's some less than convincing wirework as Chun Xiao and his brothers execute a few super-human moves here and there, but it's all part of the fun.

The battle for Changon is an early highlight which is surpassed later on when Li Ke Yong is kidnapped by Zhu Weng and is rescued by courageous general Ju Li, who must fight his way through dozens of soldiers on a bridge as the enemy stronghold goes up in flames. Throughout the film, the action is eye-filling and intense.

A lighthearted mood fills the early part of the story as we get to know the comically self-confident and cocky Heroic Ones, who revel in the fact that they can defeat just about anyone and have fun celebrating their invincibility with plenty of wine and women.


As thirteenth son Chun Xiao, David Chiang does a good job taking his character from brash insouciance to wounded disillusionment as the story takes on tragic proportions.

What happens in the latter half of the film is pretty heavy stuff, with the final confrontation between brothers carrying quite a lot of emotional weight along with the action.

I wasn't expecting an epic when I started watching THE HEROIC ONES, but it certainly does its best to resemble one. In addition to being an opulent historical piece, it also has elements of the Italian western and war films such as THE DIRTY DOZEN. And there's a gripping story to go along with all of that beautifully-staged carnage.

Read our review of the SHAW BROTHERS COLLECTION



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Thursday, November 7, 2024

SECRETS IN THE WALLS -- DVD review by porfle


Originally posted on 9/6/11

 

Lightweight chills may semi-scare you when you learn the SECRETS IN THE WALLS (2010), a Lifetime Channel ghost flick that takes us by-the-numbers into familiar fright territory.

Jeri Ryan stars as Rachel, a divorced mom raising daughters Lizzie and Molly in a cramped city apartment.  A new job takes her to one of those quiet, tree-lined neighborhoods where she ends up buying a large old house after getting the full B.S. treatment from a smarmy real estate agent.  At first, it seems the place is just perfect, until Rachel and the girls discover that it's haunted.

As is often the case, the scenes which gradually introduce the supernatural element into the characters' lives are the spookiest.  It's only later when the filmmakers have to start showing and explaining more that things get less convincing and more contrived.  A latter-half plot twist really pushes the whole thing to a new level of incredulity.



Till then, though, we're treated to a rather politely unsettling thriller that zings us with a few minor jump scares, plus some creepy situations revolving around a hidden room in the basement which hides a decades-old secret.  Claiming the basement as her bedroom, teenage daughter Lizzie (Kay Panabaker, "CSI", "No Ordinary Family") is the focus of the haunting, with her "night terror" ordeal providing the most effective chills in the entire story.  Later, when that thing I referred to happens, she proves a rather generic presence even when trying to be menacing.

All of the characters are pretty shallow, with the still-striking Jeri Ryan ("Star Trek: Voyager"'s Seven of Nine) serving as both the standard strong-single-mom and the derisively eye-rolling skeptic type who always irritates me by condescendingly poo-pooing any notion of the supernatural until it hits her right over the head.  Peyton List as Molly performs her current specialty, which is being somebody's cute little blonde daughter as in the recent BEREAVEMENT

Molly, it turns out, is psychic and senses what's going on in the house although naturally Mom chalks it up to an overactive imagination.  Thanks to writer's convenience, Rachel's new co-worker Belle (Oscar nominee Marianne Jean-Baptiste, "Without a Trace", TAKERS) is also a "sensitive" and offers to help, giving us a psychic duo to double-team the invasive entity.  Molly, of course, sees it popping up all over the place in the early scenes, which gives Peyton List plenty of chances to act scared.
 


The script by William Penick and Chris Sey is almost a checklist of comfortably familiar elements, some of which I've already mentioned.  They include (1) the real estate agent pawning off a haunted house on an unsuspecting buyer, (2) the "strong" single mom who is also (3) an annoying skeptic, (4) the sensitive child who can see ghosts and (5) whose strange drawings concern her teacher, (6) the secret room that's been walled off, (7) the medicine cabinet mirror that reveals a ghost when opened, and (8) the "main character digs up a shocking old news story at the library" scene.  And when the real estate agent mentions that the house is the only one in the neighborhood with an open staircase, you pretty much know that sooner or later someone's going to fall over the railing.

The DVD from Vivendi is in widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  No subtitles, but closed-captioning is provided.  No extras.

Not great by any means but not bad enough to avoid, SECRETS IN THE WALLS is easy-to-take entertainment for viewers who want to shudder at some mildly spooky happenings without being taken too far out of their comfort zones.


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Wednesday, November 6, 2024

BLOOD CHILD -- Movie Review by Porfle




Originally posted on 9/18/18

 

Get ready to duck, because BLOOD CHILD (Random Media, 2017) throws everything it can get its hands on at the viewer, including the bloody kitchen sink.

We know right away that Ashley (Alyx Melone) is either nuts or dabbling in the supernatural when we see her and her obsequious maid from Singapore, Siti (Cynthia Lee MacQuarrie) cavorting in the backyard with a little girl in a red dress not long after Ashley's tragic, traumatic miscarriage.

It's made pretty clear that not only does Ashley not have a daughter, but Siti has a penchant for the black arts and has somehow cooked up a phantom replacement for Ashley's lost child.


Ashley's husband Bill (Biden Hall), a semi-dickish business executive whose friends are all cretins, and her obnoxious BFF neighbor Naomi (Charlotte Cattell), both find Siti creepy and both begin to experience nerve-wracking visions of Ashley's "blood child" suddenly popping up in dark, spooky places.

When Ashley's home pregnancy test reads positive one day, the semi-happy couple are joined by Ashley's mom Renee (Lisa Kovack), who will finally experience enough weird stuff going on in and around the house to put her foot down and demand Bill take action.  But will it be too late to save Ashley's unborn baby from her jealous, clinging ghost daughter?


What makes BLOOD CHILD watchable is the fact that writer-director Jennifer Phillips has embellished this rather simple story with such a non-stop string of shocks, stings, and spooky "gotchas" that some of them occasionally work, while the rest generate enough fun and interest to keep us watching.

The best scares come whenever the ghoulishly-grinning ghost girl appears lurking in a dark corner or under a couch in the middle of the night, or popping up behind someone's back in a mirror.  Of course, these moments don't work every time and aren't always pulled off that effectively, so it's all a bit hit and miss.

This is also true for the usual mysterious odors, loud noises, and other stuff that the typically skeptical characters dismiss with "it's just an old house" until enough freaky stuff happens to finally convince them.


The cast is adequately frantic even when their reactions don't make sense, as when an extremely disturbing experience is followed by a shot of everyone sitting around the dinner table.

The script just keeps barreling along despite all improbabilities, serving up more derivative ghostly goings-on to grab our attention until the usual ironically-downbeat ending.

There's a shocking bit of gore here and there, and plenty of creepy action that scarcely lets up.  There's isn't a lot of finesse to be found in BLOOD CHILD,  but horror fans not in an overly demanding mood should find it a pleasantly unpleasant diversion. 






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Tuesday, November 5, 2024

THE HAUNTING -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/16/10

In 2010, Fangoria magazine teamed up with Lightning Media and Blockbuster for a series of eight horror/thrillers which were available exclusively on DVD, VOD, and digital download under the "Fangoria FrightFest" banner. This film is part of that series.


Hardly the sort of flashy, pyrotechnics-packed SPFX show POLTERGEIST turned out to be, 2009's THE HAUNTING (aka NO-DO: THE BECKONING) is the kind of slow-building, stately-paced ghost story that really gets under your skin if you're willing to settle in and let it go to work on you.

In 1940s Spain under General Franco, propaganda newsreels known as "No-Dos" packaged the latest news for general theater audiences, but a certain number of these films containing sensitive material were made for privileged eyes only.  Thus, only high-ranking members of the Catholic church were allowed to view footage involving a mysterious prostitute purported to be able to perform miracles, and the ill-fated process of judging her suitability for canonization which resulted in her supposed suicide and other unfortunate consequences.

Jump ahead to the present day, where Francesca (Ana Torrent), Pedro (Francisco Boira), their young daughter Rosa, and their infant son have just moved into the imposing old country mansion, formerly a school for priests, where the previous events took place.  Having lost their first child ten years earlier, Francesca is overprotective of their new baby to the point of frazzled obsession, which worries her husband.  And making things worse is the fact that Francesca is beginning to experience a growing number of terrifying paranormal visions as Pedro fears that she's losing her mind.  But we know better, don't we?


One thing that has always creeped me out is the use of scratchy, faded old black and white film as a mysterious element in stories such as this.  THE HAUNTING really scores on this count, with the forbidden No-Do reels playing a crucial role in ratcheting up the creep-out factor.  We discover that they were made using a special emulsion that made it possible to capture supernatural entities on the film, which is demonstrated by some pretty disturbing images.  When Father Miguel (Héctor Colomé), a psychiatrist priest bent on helping Francesca, opens up a shadowy, top-secret vault and plays one of the forbidden reels for her and Pedro (thus risking excommunication), it's one of the skin-crawling highpoints of THE HAUNTING. 

Meanwhile, back at the mansion, we find that the couple's new home isn't going to help Francesca's unstable mental condition much.  In fact, they might as well have just moved into the friggin' Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland.  The distraught new mother keeps waking up in the middle of the night by banging noises and footsteps coming from the attic, which naturally her annoying skeptical husband never hears, and before long she's seeing ghostly figures floating around.  In one scene she grabs a flashlight and follows a trail of footprints into one of the upper rooms, where they go right up the wall and onto the ceiling.

The house is so alive with restless spirits that the film soon has us watching the shadows in every shot, waiting for them to coalesce into eerie figures.  Adding to the nightmare is Francesca's constant concern for her baby, whose incessant screaming has her at wit's end, and the presence of a weird old woman named Blanca (María Alfonsa Rosso) who keeps hanging around the house due to her involvement in the ghastly events of years past.  Even Francesca's daughter Rosa is starting to act strange, as though she knows something she's not telling.
 


The film is directed with stylish assurance by Elio Quiroga and elegantly photographed, with a very deliberate pace that allows us to wallow in the deeply atmospheric mood.  Argento fans should feel at home here, as will those who enjoy creepy old B-movies such as THE SCREAMING SKULL.  Special effects for their own sake are kept to a minimum and serve the story, with some genuinely unsettling ghostly images augmented by two or three blood-chilling jump scares.  A robust musical score alternates between sinewy subtlety and ear-splitting cacophony. 

As the story builds to a climax there's a fairly shocking surprise ending with some nasty twists.  (I'm glad I'm not one of those "I saw it coming" people--who wants to always know the surprise before it's revealed?)  In one of the best moments, Francesca, following one of the ghosts into the house's musty attic, finds herself inside the darkest and most ghastly of the old No-Do films and witnesses firsthand the horrors which inspired the haunting itself.  Unfortunately, the appearance of a final apparition which is meant to be the ultimate embodiment of evil is a bit of a letdown after all the anticipation, its monsterish countenance rather conventional and not very imaginatively designed.  But this is a minor quibble since the rest of the film is so pervasively effective.

DVD specs were unavailable, but according to Fangoria.com the film, "arriving as a Blockbuster exclusive August 6, will include a subtitled making-of featurette, the 8 FANGORIA FRIGHTS cable special and the eight FrightFest trailers. The DVD will offer both Spanish (with subtitles) and English-language soundtracks."

I've seen THE HAUNTING twice now and liked it even more the second time because I could better appreciate its visual style, good performances, and devious little nuances.  It's an old-fashioned ghost story with the visceral impact of a modern horror tale, and it left me feeling satisfied if not entirely terrified.

 


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Monday, November 4, 2024

SHOCK TREATMENT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 


Originally posted on 10/28/20

 

Hardly the exploitation thriller the title would suggest, SHOCK TREATMENT (Severin Films, 1972) is a sober, deliberately-paced foray into slowburn suspense and growing tension that gradually develops like a photograph until the disturbing final image is revealed.

This French production from director and co-writer Alain Jessua (THE KILLING GAME, LIFE UPSIDE DOWN) offers its own take on a now familiar premise: a patient at a secluded clinic/ wellness resort/ rejuvanation facility begins to see beyond the fascade of happy patients and benign doctors and suspects a more sinister agenda at work.

That patient is Hélène Masson (Annie Girardot, ROCCO AND HIS BROTHERS, THE PIANO TEACHER), a woman in her late 30s who feels that age is catching up with her and yearns for something that will keep her a step ahead of it. 

 

  
 
That something, as suggested by her friend Gérôme (Robert Hirsch), is the seaside resort of one Dr. Devilers (Alain Delon, PURPLE NOON, LE SAMOURAÏ, AIRPORT '79: THE CONCORDE), whose experiments in youth restoration seem to yield amazing results.

As one might suspect (and Hélène indeed eventually does), not all is as it seems despite the regular customers basking in their newfound youthful glow and crowing about Dr. Devilers as they laze about in saunas draped in seaweed or cavort naked in the warm ocean waves.  (The scene in which Delon himself strips to the skin and joins them will definitely be of interest to his fans.)

The plot thickens when Hélène notices the Portuguese servants hired to work there, all healthy young men, begin to behave strangely as though drugged and/or somehow depleted, and when tragedy strikes her friend after he expresses his own fears about the place and wishes to leave, she takes it upon herself to investigate what's really going on there. This, of course, puts her in grave peril.

 


With the beautiful French seaside as his canvas, director Jessua has concocted an attractively mounted and technically adept visual page-turner that grows more absorbing with each unsettling revelation.

His most valuable asset is a solid performance by Annie Girardot, whose Hélène is a thoroughly likable and identifiable protagonist for whom we care quite a bit as death and deceit begin to close in on her.

Alain Delon's handsome but shady doctor is less of a stretch, although he acquits himself well. The rest of the cast capably portray their spoiled, idle-rich sycophants of Dr. Devilers who care about nothing but their own well-being and endless vanity. 

 


The film has been described as a political allegory, which seems apt enough, although it might apply to any scenario in which people blindly follow a charismatic leader who offers them promises and pipe dreams at a terrible price.

SHOCK TREATMENT has that look and feel of a "foreign film" (unless, of course, you happen to be French) in the best sense of the term, offering a refreshingly different sensibility that increases our own vicarious feeling of being in a strange, unfamiliar setting. While never resorting to gore or sensation for its own sake, it builds to a chilling climax that may leave you as dazed and disoriented as its hapless heroine.



Buy the standard Blu-ray edition (single disc)


Buy the 2-disc SE w/slipcover, reversible wrap, and CD soundtrack


Buy the DVD



Special Features:

    Alain Jessua – The Lone Deranger: Interview with Bernard Payen, Curator at The Cinémathèque Française
    Koering’s Scoring – Interview with Soundtrack Composer René Koering
    Director’s Disorder – Interview with Director Alain Jessua
    Drumrunning – René Koering Commentary on Three Sequences
    Trailer

Special Limited Edition also includes:

    Reversible Wrap
    Limited Edition Slipcover
    CD Soundtrack

Disc Specs:

    Aspect ratio: 1.66:1
    Audio: English mono with optional closed captions, French mono with English subtitles
    Region A

Special edition slipcover:

 


Special edition reversible cover:





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