THE LAST DROP -- movie review by porfle

 

Originally posted in 2005 at Bumscorner.com

 

No, it's not a feature-length commercial for Maxwell House coffee, although if it were, it would probably be a lot more entertaining.

THE LAST DROP (2005) starts out as though it might actually be worth watching, as we see a swarm of British bomber planes towing gliders filled with soldiers on their way to German-occupied Holland during the final days of WWII.  The CGI effects in this sequence are pretty good, giving the impression that the film we're about to see is a quality product, at least visually. 

But things go downhill from there as we discover that nothing else from this point will be anywhere near as impressive.  Camerawork and editing that are sloppy and choppy, respectively, combine with an often silly script, performances that range from bland to ridiculous, and a curiously underpopulated Europe to give THE LAST DROP the cheap aura of a made-for-TV movie that is reaching beyond its means to look like a "real" war film.

One of the gliders is shot down short of its landing zone and the soldiers, who are on a mission so top secret that only one of them knows what it is and he's not telling, are forced to make their way on foot toward their destination.  It turns out that they've been sent to protect a cache of priceless works of art stolen by the Nazis and stored beneath an old mill somewhere in rural Holland.  And they must get there before the goose-stepping kraut-snarfers come back and cart the treasure trove away for good. 

When the details of their mission finally become known to our heroes, a plan to snatch the loot for themselves pops into their sneaky little heads.  But they're not the only ones drooling for dollars -- there are also three greedy renegade Nazis on their way to grab summa dat booty, too.  

And as if that weren't enough, they're being hunted by a company of American G.I.'s led by "guest star" Michael Madsen, who has stumbled onto the fact that something's up and can't wait to stick his big nose right in the middle of it.

This might've been a passable flick if only the scriptwriters could've decided whether they wanted to give us a realistic war thriller like THE GUNS OF NAVARONE or THE WILD GEESE (on a considerably smaller scale, that is) or a grab-the-money-and-run knock-off of KELLY'S HEROES. 

In trying to combine the two, they've merely presented us with a cringe-inducing mess that doesn't add up to much of anything -- and the score mirrors this thematic indecisiveness by juxtaposing traditional orchestral music with, of all things, heavy metal. 

Some good actors such as Sean Pertwee (SOLDIER), Karel Roden (the lawyer from BLADE II), and Tommy Flanagan (the Irish mercenary who liked to make things explode in SIN CITY) struggle to bring underwritten characters to life, while TITANIC's Billy Zane wanders around in a role that gives him practically nothing to do. 

Michael Madsen, unfortunately, contributes his not-quite-A-list presence and nothing more (as he usually does in small films such as this), doing just enough to justify a paycheck while taking it about as seriously as he would mugging for home movies.  (His mug, of course, is plastered nice and big on the DVD cover as though he played a major role.)

Eventually, all of these sub-par shenanigans lead to a big -- ehh, not that big -- shootout as everyone tries to get to the plane that's been loaded with the art treasures and fly away.  It's not a very well-done or thrilling conclusion, and the tacked-on "gotcha" ending that's supposed to leave us with a smile sorta made me throw up in my mouth a little. 

Or maybe that was just my accumulated response to this entire movie, which I looked forward to seeing because I like a good war movie, and then regretted watching because I don't like a war movie that's boring, pointless, and just plain dumb.

 

 

THE LAST DROP -- movie review by porfle

BLUE SEDUCTION -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/6/09

 

Sometimes a movie is so bad it's perversely amusing, and sometimes it's just plain bad. Hovering between the two is the suspense-thriller BLUE SEDUCTION (2009), a Canadian TV-movie which, unsurprisingly, looks like a Canadian TV-movie but, unsurprisingly, bears little resemblance to the better films it's modeled upon.

As Mikey Taylor, a washed-up rock star struggling to record a comeback album, Billy Zane appears to have prepared himself for the role by sleeping under his couch cushions for a month. There can't have been much preparation or thought behind his totally lackadaisical performance, which he obviously doesn't take seriously.

Much of it looks as though he's still rehearsing, unaware the cameras are rolling. There are several instances, in fact, when he stumbles so awkwardly through a scene that you find it hard to believe the director settled for that particular take. At other times, Zane seems to be preoccupied with wistful thoughts of leaping into the nearest lifeboat and abandoning ship.

Estella Warren (PLANET OF THE APES) isn't much better as Matty, a conniving singer-songwriter who weasels her way into Mikey's recording sessions and gradually begins to take over his life for her own purposes. Some of her dialogue scenes with Billy Zane resemble screen test footage. But at least she adds some energy to the lethargic proceedings along with considerable visual interest (translation: she's hot). And it's somewhat interesting to observe the utter brazenness with which her character begins to engineer Mikey's lapse back into alcoholism and drug abuse and the ruination of his marriage to Joyce (Jane Wheeler), his long-suffering wife.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby surround 5.1 and English subtitles. No extras except for a trailer.

BLUE SEDUCTION is a stale leftover from the FATAL ATTRACTION psycho-bitch era--even the awful songs that Estella Warren sings sound like cheesy 80s power ballads. When things, as they say, "take a deadly turn" a la PLAY MISTY FOR ME, there's a last-minute plot twist that comes as a surprise (to me, anyway) and manages to make the film even more unpleasant. Warren's character is so over-the-top nutty and Zane's is such a somnambulistic nothing that I eventually began to suspect this film to be an unintentionally unfunny attempt at being unintentionally funny.

 

BLUE SEDUCTION -- DVD review by porfle

KILL ZONE -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/4/09

 

"God is fair--evil deeds must pay a price" is the tagline in the trailer for KILL ZONE, aka "SPL", aka "SAAT PO LONG/SHA PO LANG" (2005), which proves true for both the bad guys and the cops who cross the line trying to bring them down. Another theme of the film is father-son relationships--most of the action takes place on Father's Day, most of the characters are fathers or sons and the events we see in their lives are in many ways influenced by this, right up to the shattering conclusion.

Detective Chan (Simon Yam) runs a task force that is dedicated to taking down the fearsome Triad boss Wong Po (Sammo Hung) by any means possible. The fact that he's about to retire makes a quick resolution to the matter even more urgent, and the tough, rule-breaking cops under his command are equally anxious to see Wong Po behind bars or dead. But Chan is about to be replaced by Inspector Ma Kwan (Donnie Yen), whom the team fears will hamper their efforts with his more by-the-book attitude, although he once deliberately left a bad guy permanently brain-damaged with a single punch. And although Ma doesn't officially start his duties until midnight, he tags along and is shocked by the extent to which Chan's team will go in order to see their own brand of justice done.

When they receive a videotape showing Wong Po assisting in the assassination of an undercover cop, they doctor the tape to suggest that Wong Po did the actual killing. This backfires when the truth comes out and Wong Po is released, swearing that Chan and his men won't leave the station house alive. To make good on his threat, he calls in his chief assassin, a young, weasel-faced martial arts expert named Jack (Jacky Wu) who enjoys killing people in messy ways. Of course, Chan's men all end up leaving the station house for one reason or another, and each has an appointment with Jack that they'll wish they'd missed. With all of this, even Inspector Ma Kwan is finally pushed beyond the limits of the law and decides that Wong Po must be stopped no matter what it takes.

Although there's plenty of action in KILL ZONE, the human drama is essential and well-wrought by director Wilson Yip (THE WHITE DRAGON, JULIET IN LOVE), whose classical style is refreshingly free of the usual MTV-type overuse of shaky camerawork and rapid-fire editing, which he uses only sparingly to evoke disorientation or chaos, and his occasional use of crane shots adds an epic sweep to several scenes. There's no style-for-style's-sake here, and the use of cinematic language (split screens, slow motion, etc.) is only for advancing the plot and not just to show off.

We're given time to get to know and care about the characters: Detective Chan is shown caring for his adopted daughter, whose parents were killed on their way to testify against Wong Po, even though his days are numbered due to a brain tumor; Detective Kwok (Danny Summer) anxiously awaits a Father's Day reunion with his formerly estranged daughter; and Detective Lok (Kai Chi Liu) is seen tearfully attempting a doomed reconciliation with his dying father over the phone. Even the evil Wong Po has a beloved wife and infant daughter to whom he is deeply devoted, which humanizes his character beyond the standard stereotype and makes him all the more interesting. The fact that all of the performances in this movie are excellent doesn't hurt, either.

The first display of martial arts doesn't even take place until half an hour into the film, but there's no shortage of action. We get several demolition derby-style car crashes, an intense police raid on one of Wong Po's crews, and other assorted events that keep things humming along until finally the chop-socky kicks in with Wong Po's initial arrest in the lobby of the hospital where his wife just gave birth. With a large, stuffed Pink Panther under one arm, he proves quite difficult to apprehend, and we get our first incredible display of mixed martial arts fighting as he takes on Donnie Yen's Ma Kwan for the first time in the film.

The fight scenes blend seamlessly with the drama thanks to the cooperation of Wilson Yip and action director Donnie Yen, who knows just what he wants to see on the screen and how to shoot it. Yen's philosophy is that if the fight choreography is performed by experts who know what they're doing, there's no need for quick cuts and flashy, distracting camerawork, and wirework and CGI can be kept to a minimum. This results in several amazing sequences in which the combatants go at it in long, wide-angle takes, with a realism and intensity rarely seen in Hollywood action flicks. The alleyway battle between Ma Kwan and Jack the assassin, one wielding a police baton and the other a long knife, is surely one of the greatest hand-to-hand combat scenes ever filmed, with Donnie Yen and Jacky Wu engaging in one long series of perfectly-choreographed moves after another. It's a thrilling sequence.

But even this is outdone by the final confrontation between Ma Kwan and Wong Po in the bad guy's lair. Using a huge, insanely-ornate real-life nightclub as the backdrop, Donnie Yen has devised a breathtaking free-for-all that takes advantage of Sammo Hung's unique size and skill (it's cool to see such a big guy displaying such dexterity in contrast with Yen's own look and style), to give Hong Kong action fans the match-up they've been waiting for. Again, many of the moves are played out in long takes because these guys know what they're doing and don't require special camerawork or editing to help put it across. Yen has also incorporated mixed fighting styles here, including Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu which is composed mainly of close-quarters grappling moves that add a lot of excitement and visual interest. Wirework is used sparingly and in imaginative ways, but without the unreal look it tends to have in most films. And, of course, lots of stuff gets smashed up in cool ways.

The 2-disc DVD from Dragon Dynasty is a lot of fun. Hong Kong Cinema expert Bey Logan contributes a commentary track that is very informative and enthusiastic, without a single dead spot. The alleyway and nightclub fights are thoroughly examined with commentary from both Logan and Donnie Yen. There's also a "making of" featurette and extensive interviews with Yen, Sammo Hung, Simon Yam, Jacky Wu, and Wilson Yip, plus trailers and TV spots. So even when the movie's over, there's a lot of cool stuff to explore.

I can't recommend this movie enough. It's an impressive, thrilling piece of action cinema that fires on all cylinders from start to finish. Both the action and dramatic elements are well-served throughout, and all of it is done with meticulous care and filmmaking skill. And the fact that the story is given such prominence instead of merely serving as a vehicle for the fight scenes results in an ending that should stay with you long after the fade-out.

KILL ZONE -- DVD review by porfle

RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 9/10/10

 

A sequel in name only, the retitled RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS (1978) is better described by its original title, CRIPPLED AVENGERS.  But by any name, it's classic Shaw Brothers fun that's loaded with interesting characters and hugely entertaining fight sequences. 

Director and co-writer Chang Cheh starts the deadly action from the first seconds when a group of bad guys, the Tian Nan Tigers, invade Du Tain Dao's house and dispatch his guards.  Then they cut his wife's legs off and chop off his young son Du Chang's hands.  Du Tain Dao shows up and wastes them with his Three Tigers fighting method, then vows to get the best blacksmith available to create some iron hands for his son.  Years later, we see the older Du Chang becoming a kung fu master with his father's teaching, and is quite adept at using his iron hands.

But just as we're thinking that this father-son team are the good guys, we learn that they've become cruel tyrants who rule the town through violence and fear, and enjoy crippling people for minor offenses.  A traveling peddler named Chen Shun is blinded by Du Chang, who also chops off the legs of a passing stranger, Wu Gui, for bumping into him.  Du Tain Dao, meanwhile, turns the local blacksmith, Wei, into a deaf-mute, and when a heroic warrior named Wang Yi tries to intervene, his skull is crushed in a viselike device until he's turned into an addlebrained idiot.

As you might guess, the four victims of the dastardly Dus get together and plan their revenge.  Training for the next three years with Wang Yi's elder teacher Li Zheng Yin at his secluded Eagle Mansion, they learn to overcome their handicaps and become a fierce fighting team.  These training scenes are a lot of fun, especially when the childlike Wang Yi's constant desire to play becomes part of the routine.  His sessions with the blind Chen Shun involving the use of large iron rings become an integral part of the climactic battle. 

Returning to the village on the eve of Du Tain Dao's elaborate birthday celebration, they immediately find themselves wading through one brawl after another with various guards, henchmen, and relatives.  Du's right hand man, Mr. Wan, devises various means of thwarting our heroes' abilities, such as arming his guards with gong-shields that keep Chen Shun from hearing their movements or blinding blacksmith Wei with mirrors. 

Wu Gui, meanwhile, makes good use of his new iron legs when the group is challenged by Du's brother Ju Gao Feng, a musclebound superman who arrives for the birthday bash and starts throwing his massive pecs around.  There's also a bad guy named Mr. Luo, known for his light-footed movements, and his associate Mr. Lin, who fires deadly steel balls with a bow-shaped slingshot.

The second half of the film is a thrilling succession of showdowns and free-for-alls with endless combinations of opponents.  With a simple story free of needless complications, things move at a brisk pace with lots of dynamic action.  Aside from Chang Cheh's trademark whiplash pans and zooms, there's no fancy editing or flashy camerawork--long takes are filled with intricate choreography that's impressively performed. 

When Chen Shun and the eternally playful Wang Yi take on Du Chang in the final minutes, the sequence is such a sustained display of dazzling acrobatics that the effect is sheer amazement.  This extended action setpiece avoids monotony by being endlessly creative and fun.  Finally, after a solid fifteen minutes of non-stop action, a decisive battle with the vile Du Tain Dao ends the film with a bang.

The DVD from Vivendi's Dragon Dynasty label is in widescreen with Mandarin and English mono sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  No extras.

Whether you're a Shaw Brothers fan already or just looking to sample some classic kung fu action, RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS is loaded with fist-flying beat-em-up fun all the way.  Just as long as you don't spend the whole time wondering where the heck those five deadly venoms are. 

Read our review of THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS

RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS -- DVD review by porfle

THE 5 DEADLY VENOMS -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/4/11

 

A genuine cult classic among Shaw Brothers devotees in particular and martial arts fans in general, the influential THE 5 DEADLY VENOMS (1978) is a colorful tale that, while a little slow at times, is a lot of fun thanks to cool characters, rich atmosphere, and some wild and fanciful fight sequences.

Five martial arts masters whose identities are unknown have emerged from the Five Venoms house, each proficient in a particular animal-related fighting style. Now, a former disciple in possession of the school's vast fortune is in danger from the less scrupulous of the five. The House's founder, who is dying, sends his final student Yang De on a quest to discover which of his predecessors can be trusted and enlist them to help him fight the bad ones. Since Yang De has been partially trained in all five skills but is a master of none, he must always battle the enemy in conjuction with one of the masters.

Yang De (Sheng Chiang) is one of those likably humorous characters whose natural skill and cunning are mixed with a flippant attitude and somewhat childlike naivete. He's just about the only lighthearted element in this somber story in which two evil Venoms, Centipede (Feng Lu) and Snake (Pai Wei), murder the old disciple and his family in search of the treasure, while one of the good Venoms, Toad (Meng Lo), is found guilty of the crime by a corrupt court that's been paid off.

Yang De eventually learns the secret identity of Gecko (Philip Kwok), who can walk on walls, and teams up with him against Centipede and Snake, while the mysterious Scorpion remains a wild card until the very end. While often exhilarating thanks to the action scenes, the film is also dishearteningly tragic and downbeat at times.

This was one of the first Hong Kong kung fu movies to feature the furious over-the-top fight scenes that we've become accustomed to over the years. While watching it, it's easy to recognize elements that would show up in both Asian films and homages such as BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA and, of course, Tarantino's KILL BILL movies.

Here, the choreography is so well-planned that shots go on for several moments without a cut. It may look a little unrefined compared to today's fight scenes, but one can see how awesome this stuff must've looked to viewers yet to grow jaded by such things. Combining meticulously choreographed combat moves with gymnastics and some wirework, not to mention a few endearingly cheesy special effects, these scenes are especially fun to watch--especially the climactic showdown involving Yang De and the four remaining Venoms in a frenetic free-for-all.

Chang Cheh's direction is lean and unobtrusive with occasional flashes of style and fluid camerawork, and gives the action plenty of breathing room without a lot of fancy angles or rapid-fire editing. While the budget is relatively modest, the period set design and costumes look great. The library music fits the action well, and Monty Python fans will recognize one particular passage as the main titles theme from MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL.

The Dragon Dynasty DVD is a single disc in 2.35:1 widesreen format and Dolby Digital sound. Languages are Mandarin mono and English mono with English and Spanish subtitles. The sole bonus feature is a commentary by Hong Kong cinema expert Bey Logan, who gives his usual enthusiastic and informative analysis.

Admittedly, I found the story to be pretty slow going the first time around, especially while trying to keep all the characters, their various skills and motives, and relationships to one another straight. With a second viewing, however, I was able to forget all that and concentrate on what turned out to be a pretty intriguing and well-acted tale of mystery, corruption, betrayal, and heroism. And considering that THE 5 DEADLY VENOMS is just about the first film of its kind, whose strong influence is still being felt throughout various areas of pop culture, then, overall, it must be regarded as a pretty stunning achievement.



Read our review of RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS

 

THE 5 DEADLY VENOMS -- DVD review by porfle

HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/11/16

 

Making just about every other movie in the world seem slow-moving and mundane in comparison, HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD (1983) is about as close to a total cinematic freak-out as you could imagine.

Wan Ching Chung and his wife are killed by white-haired, bushy-eyebrowed Grand Master Jing Yin (Leanne Lau) and her associate Monster Yu (Jason Pai Piao) after they're forced to reveal the location of the Creed of the Holy Flame.  The Phantom (Philip Kwok) swoops in and rescues the dead couple's baby boy Wan Tien Sau, pledging that in 18 years the boy will return to get revenge.  Jing Yin takes their baby girl Dan Fung and raises her as a warrior in the all-female Er Mei clan, telling her that the Phantom killed her parents.

Eighteen years later, Wan Tien Sau (Max Mok) is sent off to seek the Holy Flame.  Along the way, he rescues the beautiful Juan Er (Mary Jean Reimer) from the evil Blood Sucking Clan and she inadvertently gains great power in her index finger after touching an enchanted snake's bladder. 

Meanwhile, Jing Yin, who possesses a Yin version of the Holy Flame, sends Dan Fung to avenge herself against the Phantom and retrieve the Holy Flame's Yang counterpart, which will give Jing Yin great power.  This sets the stage for a series of battles like you wouldn't believe between Wan Tien Sau, Dan Fung, Jing Yin and Monster Yu, Monster Yu's impetuous young apprentice Duan, Golden Snake Boy, the wacky Eight Righteous Clans, and Juan Er's Mighty Finger.

I just don't know what to think about this movie.  It's like taking an acid trip on a rollercoaster.  I'd call it cartoonish, but I doubt if even Tex Avery ever made a cartoon with such a breakneck pace and rapid-fire editing, nor such a dizzying, non-stop bombardment of bizarre images. 

Director Tony Liu Jun-guk couldn't be less concerned with how realistic the wirework is, which doesn't matter anyway because characters continuously zip around all over the place in fast-motion like a bunch of flying speed freaks.  In addition to this is the precision fight choreography that is quite impressive, and lots of colorful FX animation.

The characters also display a wonderful variety of super-powers.  The Phantom's main weapon is his "Ghostly Laugh"--he sits crosslegged and convulses with broad, forced laughter, creating a deadly cyclone all around him which terrifies Jing Yin and Monster Yu until they learn how to make their ears close up by themselves. 

In return, they attack with the horrific Bone Incineration By Fire and Merry-Go-Round techniques.  Wan Tien Sau is able to make his Devil Sword fly around as though he were operating it with an invisible remote control.

Blaring music and an endless cacophony of sound effects bombard the viewer along with the freakish visuals.  One of the best sequences is when a 1,000-year-old corpse, which Lam May Heung brought home from a trip out West, comes to life spouting English phrases such as "I KILL YOU!" and, sure enough, decides to kill him. 

Another is Wan Tien Sau's search for the Holy Flame inside the Moon Cavern, where he's attacked by cool cartoon ghosts and giant Chinese text that pops off the floor and flies around trying to do him in.

From the moment this utterly kooky film bursts out of the gate it just doesn't stop, plunging headlong through a rapid-fire succession of breathtakingly off-the-wall scenes until the hilarious conclusion.  Possibly the downright nuttiest movie I've ever seen, ever, HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD is funny, exciting, stupefying, and wonderfully endearing.

Read our review of the SHAW BROTHERS COLLECTION VOL.II

HOLY FLAME OF THE MARTIAL WORLD -- Movie Review by Porfle

A NEW LEAF -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 12/5/17

 

Two of my favorite "grown-up" comedies as a kid were THE GRADUATE (1967) and THE HEARTBREAK KID (1972), both cockeyed modern relationship tales that embodied a new kind of droll, deadpan satire which I found deeply appealing. 

Common to these films was Elaine May.  The former film, in which she played a bit role, was directed by her sometime performing partner Mike Nichols (with whom she helped form Second City), and she herself would direct her own daughter Jeannie Berlin in the hilarious THE HEARTBREAK KID in 1972.

It's no wonder, then, that I found Elaine May's 1971 directing and co-starring effort A NEW LEAF (Olive Signature Films) so irresistibly entertaining.  The expert combination of borderline farce with a restrained, achingly dry deadpan delivery and reined-in directorial approach makes it the kind of comedy that's intellectually stimulating one moment and laugh-out-loud hilarious the next.

Walter Matthau contributes to much of this with his pitch-perfect performance as spoiled, self-centered rich person Henry Graham, who can't believe it when his flagrant overspending wipes out his trust fund and leaves him a pauper. 

His only alternative to suicide, it seems, is to marry a wealthy woman before his funds are totally depleted and then discreetly murder her.  His loyal butler Harold (George Rose) consents out of self-interest to help him in the first part of his plan, but expresses misgivings about the second.

Enter Elaine May as Henrietta Lowell, an enormously well-endowed (financially, that is) spinster who's also one of the most endearingly clumsy and innocent characters you could ever meet.  Mousey, anxious, dreadfully insecure, and as coordinated as a newborn calf, she can't even sit still without calamitous results.  She's perfect for Henry's plans--he meets her, woos her, proposes, and, in no time, they're married.

The scene in which Henry tries to help Henrietta sort out her fancy new Grecian nightgown (she has her head in the armhole) on their honeymoon night is a slowburn delight of extended but controlled frustration.  I also love wine connoisseur Henry's suppressed horror when introduced to Henrietta's favorite drink, Mogen David Extra Heavy Malaga with soda and lemon, which he must pretend to savor. 

May's slapstick incompetent is the perfect, trusting foil to Matthau's fussy, sociopathic snob and their scenes together are like comedy confections wrapped in gold foil.  Her instincts for directing comedy to its best advantage are dead on the mark at every turn, bringing out the best of both stars and their supporting cast.

This includes stalwarts Jack Weston as Henrietta's manipulative lawyer, James Coco as Henry's spiteful uncle, Doris Roberts as the embezzling manager of gullible Henrietta's household staff, William Redfield as Henry's harried financial adviser, and several other familiar names of the era. 

The leads play it all with a sort of overt subtlety that makes one look forward to the next scene and their next bit together.  I love Matthau's casually methodical cad, reading up on various poisons and gaining access to Henrietta's finances even as he finds himself increasingly fussing over her physical appearance and well-being. 

And May's Henrietta, a botanist whose dream is to find a new strain of fern that she can name herself, is one of the most lovable klutzes to ever fumble her way into my heart.  So much so, in fact, that even Henry can't help but be touched--in his own comically nonplussed way--by some of her childlike foibles. 

Even the stereotypically romantic music is richly satirical, with nary a single "isn't this funny?" note in the entire score.  With a brilliant screenplay to match (written by May from the Jack Ritchie short story), A NEW LEAF is one of cinema's most low-key and tastefully restrained comic delights.  After Henry's final attempt to murder Henrietta during a botany field trip, the fern turns and leaves us with a somewhat abrupt but just-right ending. 


Bonus Features:

New restoration from 4K scan of original camera negative
Audio commentary by film scholar Maya Montanez Smukler
“The Cutting Room Floor: Editing A New Leaf” – interview with A New Leaf assistant editor Angelo Corrao
“Women in Hollywood: A Tragedy of Comic Proportions” – with director Amy Heckerling
Essay by critic, editor & film programmer Alexandra Heller-Nicholas
“The Green Heart” by Jack Ritchie, the source material for Elaine May’s script
Trailer

Languages: english
Video: 1.85:1 aspect ratio; color
Runtime: 102 minutes
Year: 1971

A NEW LEAF -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

WARM NIGHTS HOT PLEASURES (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 12/21/18

 

Another of Joe Sarno's delectable early black-and-white melodramas, 1964's WARM NIGHTS HOT PLEASURES is the torrid tale of three smalltown girls who drop out of college and head to the Big Apple with fervent (but slim) hopes of making it in showbiz.

Of course, the road to success is littered with just this kind of roadkill.  But singleminded Cathy (Marla Ellis) is too determined and blinded by ambition to be deterred even when every lead she follows turns out to be just one more horny, sleazy con man telling her to "show me what you got" before leading her to the casting couch.

Meanwhile, prim Vivian (Sheila Barnett) hooks up with Paul, a seemingly decent man who claims to have connections and assures her there are no strings attached.  (Paul is played by SIN IN THE SUBURBS's Richard Tatro, whom original-series Star Trek fans will recognize as the android Norman in the episode "I, Mudd.")

Paul's frustrated wife Ronnie (Carla Desmond) befriends simple, down-home girl Marsha (the cute-as-a-button Eve Harris) and offers to teach her some of the tricks to becoming a showgirl.  Ronnie will also develop a tragically one-sided infatuation with Marsha that adds to the story's substantial emotional gravitas.

The idea of a trio of naive girls striking out on their own into a world of fast sex and deceptive strangers seems a comfortably familiar one, and Sarno's lean, colorful screenplay, in addition to his endlessly inventive direction and expert handling of actors, allows us to settle back and enjoy the ride from one dramatic turn to the next.

Things get sleazy right away when Cathy's first surrender to a repugnant talent agent's sweaty sexual come-on leads only to one two-bit producer after another as she struggles to make her way up the food chain. She ends up dancing and hustling drinks in a bar run by Dick (played by familiar character actor Joe Santos in his film debut under the name "Joe Russell") who drags her sense of self-worth even further into the mud by also demanding dirty sex from her.

Welcome comedy touches enter the picture when the girls rent a room from a sassy, sultry nudie model who's constantly posing for fetish photos down the hall, in the apartment of a young Irving Klaw-like photographer.  While the big lug's constantly trying to get Marsha to pose nude for him, he's all business and becomes a valuable ally.

Fans of familiar vintage nudie model Alice Denham will be delighted to see her in the flesh (so to speak) as the landlady, who's equally adept at single-girl glamour pics or the kinkier bondage and S&M stuff.

As usual, the black-and-white photography is exquisite as the camerawork and staging consistently bring out the best in Sarno's typically expressive cast. The musical score is a cacophony of hepcat jazz, like one of Fred Katz's scores for Roger Corman, and I recognized at least one cue from the same library music used earlier in THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE.

Sarno admirers should scarf up this concoction of illicit sex, brief nudity, drama, tragedy, despair, debasement, disillusionment, and betrayal, with occasional bits of lighthearted fun to keep things from getting too heavy.  At least one of our our heroines will find a glimmer of hope that may lead to success, while the other girls' luck goes bad in ways that play heavily on our sympathy without ever getting maudlin.

The print used by Film Movement Classics has the usual wear and tear of these early Sarno films which we're lucky to have in any condition (this one has been lost since 1964) despite being cleaned up as much as possible for this Blu-ray release.

I think it looks great, and any imperfections only give it that unique grindhouse feel which, as I've stressed on numerous occasions, only adds to my nostalgic enjoyment of older films.  (I like a print that looks like it's been around the block a few times.)  No extras this time, but the film itself is its own reward.

WARM NIGHTS HOT PLEASURES finds the director continuing to wield his keen story sense and artist's eye to give us a nudie sex flick that feels as substantial and worthwhile as many Hollywood potboilers, but a lot more naughty, taboo-twisting fun.


Read our reviews of other Joe Sarno films HERE

WARM NIGHTS HOT PLEASURES (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

FIRST SQUAD: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 1/3/12

 

A Russian-Japanese co-production, FIRST SQUAD: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH (2009) is a deliriously atmospheric WWII anime about how supernatural intervention threatens to turn the tide in a crucial battle between Soviet and German troops.

The year is 1942, seven centuries after the evil Baron von Wolff and his Teutonic Knights were defeated and sent to the bottom of an icy lake.  Now, with the help of a group of Nazi mystics known as the "Ahnenerbe", von Wolff and his minions will re-enter the world of the living at the titular "moment of truth" and cause a major Russian defeat on the Eastern front, while at the same time opening up a rift between the two worlds which may be catastrophic to every living being.

To prevent this, Division Six of the Soviet Military Intelligence has enlisted a group of young people with special abilities.  During a bombing raid on their training camp, four members of the First Squad are killed, with only a young clairvoyant girl named Nadya surviving.  Stricken with amnesia, the orphan girl is recovered by the Kremlin in time to send her back into action against the Teutonic Knights, with the help of her dead comrades whose spirits gain entrance into our world through Nadya's subconscious.



A mix of traditional animation and CGI, FIRST SQUAD: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH is brimming with exquisite artwork that can be savored as one would the pages of a meticulously drawn graphic novel.  With colors that are rich yet muted, much of it has an aged effect that contributes to the sumptuous period atmosphere. 

Digital enhancements augment the somewhat limited animation with varying degrees of subtlety and help to breathe life into the drawings.  Desolate Russian landscapes alternate with scenes that radiate nostalgic warmth, as in Nadya's flashbacks to her earlier life in the circus with her deceased parents.

There's a satisfying retro look to everything from the settings and costumes to some of the gadgets used, such as an "astro-radar" for pinpointing supernatural activity and the "Sputnik 01" machine (like a 40s version of the "Rekall" device from TOTAL RECALL) which transports Nadya into the netherworld.  While in the Gloomy Valley, she witnesses the spirits of dead soldiers still fighting their various wars and first encounters von Wolff as he readies his men for battle in the real world before being reunited with the rest of the First Squad. 

We don't get to know Leo, Monk, Valya, and Zena very well this time around--the story, which concentrates solely on Nadya, is left partially open-ended and plays like the first installment of a larger saga.  Not light entertainment by any means (although there are the occasional fanciful elements), it's a sober tale with several haunting passages, as when Nadya performs her clairvoyant act for Russian soldiers and suddenly visualizes most of them in the death state they'll assume during an imminent air attack.
 


Hovering between life and death after a bomb blast, Nadya relives events from her past by viewing them on a screen in an empty movie theater, while later the spirits of the First Squad will return to the world of the living by passing through a carnival spookhouse ride filled with surreal images from Nadya's subconscious mind.  Action and suspense are further provided by a pair of murderous blonde Nazi babes who pursue Nadya at various points in the story.

The final battle takes place as supernatural opponents First Squad and the Teutonic Knights clash amidst the Russian and German troops who stand frozen in the instant of their "moment of truth."  Punctuated by machine guns, flamethrowers, and swordplay, it's an exciting sequence that's imaginatively directed and, like the rest of the movie, is augmented by a dynamic and suitably baroque musical score by DJ Krush. 

The DVD on Anchor Bay's "Manga" label is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 and 2.0 soundtracks in English, Russian, and Japanese.  Subtitles are in English.  No extras besides trailers for BATTLE ROYALE and REDLINE.  The original longer version of the film (approx. 75 minutes) contains live-action interview footage with WWII veterans and historians intercut throughout, which is missing from this shorter (approx. 60 minutes) version.  Judging from some of the fan reactions I've read online, the film would seem to be better off without this added material, but I'd have to see both versions to make a fair judgement.

Definitely one of the more unusual films of its kind that I've seen in quite a while, FIRST SQUAD: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH is an impressive achievement that should provide solid entertainment for animation fans.


 

 

FIRST SQUAD: THE MOMENT OF TRUTH -- DVD review by porfle

Lon Chaney's Live TV Blunder on "Tales of Tomorrow: Frankenstein" (1952) (video)

 

When the television series "Tales of Tomorrow" presented their 1952 live adaptation of "Frankenstein", Lon Chaney played the Monster.

 

Unfortunately, he thought the live show was a final rehearsal. 

So instead of smashing the prop furniture, he picks it up and gently sets it back down.

(Later, perhaps as punishment, John Newland shoots him well below the belt.)

After discovering his mistake, Chaney was mortified.

But otherwise, it's a perfectly good performance.

Originally posted on 11/30/21

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

Lon Chaney's Live TV Blunder on "Tales of Tomorrow: Frankenstein" (1952) (video)

STEEL -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/25/10

 

I'd heard that STEEL (1997) was pretty bad, so of course I couldn't wait to see it. Would it be fun-bad or just bad-bad? Or, as sometimes happens, would I be one of the few people who, in my own insane sort of way, actually thinks it's good? Don't forget, I liked STAN HELSING.

Well, okay--I just got through watching this movie, and I didn't think it was good. In fact, it's not only stupid, it's the champagne of stupid. However, this has got to be one of the most entertaining bad-superhero movies ever made. First of all, it's got lovable lug Shaquille O'Neal as the superhero, and he can't act. That's worth a whole bunch of fun points right there. Second, Shaquille wears a homemade steel suit of armor that makes him look like a giant cockroach, and I never get tired of watching him bop around in it like a big clumsy kid. When he shoots a grappling line out of his wrist band and all two tons of him get reeled up into the air, it's almost surreal. Third--and this is important--it's got the one and only Judd Nelson as the over-the-top evil villain. Scoooore!

Loosely based on the DC Comics character, John Henry Irons is an Army officer who designs top secret weapons but becomes disenchanted with his job when a fellow officer, Susan Sparks (Annabeth Gish), is crippled during a demonstration for a visiting senator. The mishap is caused by Nathaniel Burke (Judd Nelson), an ambitious officer seeking wealth and glory. When they're discharged from the Army, John Henry goes to work in a steel mill and lives with his grandma, while Burke takes over an illegal weapons business and starts selling top secret arms to terrorists.

Using local gang members in a heavily-armed Humvee, Burke begins a city-wide crimewave that prompts John Henry into action. With a wheelchair-bound Sparks at the keyboard of his junkyard nerve center and his uncle Joe (Richard Roundtree) providing the junkyard, "Steel" suits up and goes into the amateur superhero business. He has a bit of trouble maintaining his secret identity, however, since there aren't that many 7'1" black guys running around the neighborhood, and it isn't long before Burke targets his family. Steel tracks Burke down to a warehouse where he's conducting business with terrorists from around the world, but is ambushed and powerless to act when Sparks and his teenage brother Martin (Ray J.) are held hostage.


STEEL was made in 1997, but it looks an awful lot like one of those 70s-era superhero movies that came out before Hollywood learned how to make superhero movies that didn't suck. Kenneth Johnson, creator of such television series as "The Incredible Hulk" and "Six Million Dollar Man", directs in the same pedestrian style as one of those shows except with a much bigger budget to throw away. In other words, it's like a wonderfully elaborate but crappy TV show episode.

Some of the effects are okay, such as the sonic cannon that blasts things with amplified sound waves, and the grand finale is so packed with explosions that things I didn't even know could explode were blowing up all over the place. Not so impressive, however, is Steel's magnetic suit capability--when guns, knives, and trashcan lids start flying at him and sticking to his suit, it looks like something out of a Warner Brothers cartoon.

Shaq looks a little weird tooling around on his motorcycle, too, since his bulk makes it look like a minibike. One of the goofiest things about the movie, however, has got to be Steel's junkyard lair, with a scrap heap secret entrance that opens up so he can scoot in and elude the police.

The dialogue tries to be clever but rarely rises above the level of this remark from Burke to one of his young lackeys: "Eat the hot dog. Don't BE the hot dog." (Now that's some useful advice!) Richard Roundtree gets to remind us of past glories when he admires Steel's gadget-filled hammer--he especially likes (you guessed it) the "shaft." Later, he reacts to a surprising development by uttering the classic line, "Well, I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs." Grandma (Irma P. Hall) funnies things up with her attempts to open up a restaurant called Black and Bleu, featuring recipes combining fancy French cuisine with soul food. In one running gag, her special hominy souffle' keeps falling because her big old grandson keeps makin' too much noise around the house.

Judd Nelson is at his wonderful worst as Burke and is a joy to watch, coolly dispatching a rival coworker (the stunning Claire Stansfield, who played the Jersey Devil on "The X-Files") in an elevator "accident" or hawking super-weapons to terrorists as though he were in a lethal infomercial. Annabeth Gish hits what is probably a career low here but is likable as Sparks, while Richard Roundtree seems to enjoy playing the old geezer role. Other familiar faces that crop up here and there belong to the likes of Charles Napier, Rutanya Alda, Kerrie Keane, and Gary Graham.

The DVD, part of the Warner Archive Collection, is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital, and image and sound are good. The only extra here is a trailer.

STEEL is definitely as bad as I've always heard, but I had fun groaning at the funny parts, laughing at the dramatic parts, and marveling at how flat-out cheesy it all was. It's consistently entertaining in spite of itself, and, best of all, it isn't boring. So if you're a junk film junkie like me, check it out! If not...you should probably watch something else.

 

 

STEEL -- DVD review by porfle

RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/8/10

 

When I was a kid, I was fascinated by the paperback collections of Robert Ripley's famous cartoons which began appearing in newspapers in the early 20s. Ripley's intriguing sketches depicted a wide variety of credulity-stretching oddities from around the world and invited us to... "Believe It Or Not!" Most of us remember the popular 1982 TV show of the same name with host Jack Palance, but several decades before that, during the years of 1930-32, theater audiences were thrilled and amazed by a series of Warner Brothers-Vitaphone one-reelers featuring the man himself, Robert Ripley.

These nostalgic short films, all 24 of which have now been collected on two discs for the Warner Archives Collection's RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT, might be seen today as a bit of an oddity themselves. Ripley appears as our host in most of them, popping up in a variety of scenarios which allow him to display samples of the strange stories he's collected over the years. These framing scenes are lighthearted and very corny, and Ripley, despite his stiff demeanor, total lack of acting skills, and pronounced overbite, comes off as an amiable sort who relates his stories with such cheerful enthusiasm that we don't mind taking his word for it even when he may be selling us a load of clams.

The first short opens in his office, where we see the talented artist sketching cartoons for his latest "Believe It or Not" newspaper entry. The film series' format is established here, in which we'll see a mixture of actual people, movie footage, animated cartoons, and Ripley's own drawings, all of which he narrates to some appreciative
audience. Later shorts will feature him before a gaggle of reporters on the deck of a ship, addressing people at a charity bazaar or "Believe It or Not" fan club gathering, giving presentations aboard trains and airplanes, and even testifying in court after the veracity of his claims has been challenged. In each case, Ripley wows his fans and wins over his skeptics before the fadeout.

It's fun watching him draw in that familiar style of his. With the sure hand of a master cartoonist he renders sketches of an African with horns growing out of his forehead, an eight-year-old mother from China with her nine-year-old husband, and an amazing baby from Germany who could talk at the age of eight weeks, read the Bible at the age of one, and speak French, German, and Latin before he was three. In one charming trick sequence he draws a picture of a cute Chinese boy that turns into the real thing and sings "Hello Baby."

Ripley's extensive travels yield a wealth of interesting film clips from all over the world. We learn of strange marital customs from Africa and the Holy Land, such as a prison for nagging wives, and see sights such as the Tree of Abraham which is the world's oldest living thing, a turtle with two heads, a horse with eight hooves, a working automobile that can be assembled from various parts in mere minutes, a man with no arms who shoots a shotgun and drives a truck, a collection of the world's smallest books, a high-wire-walking dog, and the proverbial one-armed paper hanger. In one amusing clip we see a 128-year-old former slave from Mississippi spanking her 100-year-old daughter over her knee for being a naughty girl.

Other in-person guests include a man who can pick up twelve billiard balls with one hand, a woman who can read eight words per second, and a man who is able to grow 7 inches in height before our eyes. One of the most fanciful shorts tells the story of a little boy named Billy who blows off his homework to read Mr. Ripley's latest book, then falls asleep and dreams that he is invited into a giant mock-up of the book by the author himself in order to experience the wonders within. With the kid's exaggerated acting style, Ripley's own endearingly inept thespian skills, and a generally clumsy and hokey treatment of the premise, the short is enjoyably dumb.

Unfortunately, the last few shorts in the series lack Ripley's participation (he's supposedly on another expedition "in search of the strange, curious, and unbelievable") and consist of film clips narrated by someone named Leo Donnelly. Lacking Ripley's earnest charm, Donnelly instead comes off as a Pete Smith clone complete with doggedly unfunny delivery and bad puns. An example: "We hadda get somebody's goat for this, and here he is...the only four-horned goat in captivity. Just like some people I know, always horning in. A pesky old goat, and that's no kid." As groanworthy as these episodes are, however, they still feature lots of interesting footage.

The DVDs are full-screen with Dolby Digital sound. Image quality is very good despite the expected rough spots here and there. Both discs contain 12 shorts apiece, each introduced with a jaunty theme tune. There are no individual titles and the shorts are identified only by their production numbers.

If you've never seen Robert Ripley's intriguing newspaper cartoons, this set of delightfully dated short films is a good introduction to the fascinating world of "Ripley's Believe It or Not." Even today, his celebrated showcase of the world's most unusual people and things continues to amaze and amuse.

 

RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR NOT -- DVD review by porfle

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK -- DVD review by porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 9/14/09

 

 

Here's another one of those "ABC Movie of the Week" made-for-TV horror gems that still lingers in the minds of those who saw it back in the 70s. I missed DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK (1973) then, but if I had seen this modest but effective fright flick in my younger days I'm pretty sure it would've made an indelible impression on me, too.

Kim Darby and Jim Hutton play Sally and Alex Farnham, a young couple who have just moved into a big old mansion left to them by her late grandmother. It's a fixer-upper, so they've hired Mr. Harris (William Demarest), an old handyman who's worked around the place for years, to do some repairs. When Sally opens up a dark, creepy basement room with a bricked-up fireplace, Mr. Harris sternly warns her to leave it alone.

Curious, Sally unbolts the fireplace's side door and peers inside with a flashlight at what appears to be a deep pit. Unwittingly, she's just unleashed a malevolent force into the house. She begins to glimpse hideous troll-like creatures lurking around, and hears them chattering about killing her. Alex doesn't believe her, of course, and calls a doctor, thinking that stress has driven her off the deep end. Sally is sedated, rendering her helpless on the very night that the creatures have chosen to make their move.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK starts out like it's going to be a ghost story a la THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, but the first sight of one of those vile little trolls peering out at Sally through a potted plant during a dinner party heads the whole thing up a different alley altogether. I was actually in the mood for a ghost story, so I was a little disappointed at first. Then, the idea of these evil, revolting things skittering around behind the walls and popping out of secret panels kind of grew on me. The scene with Sally taking a shower as they creep up on her with a straight razor is especially unnerving.

Four years past her portrayal of the spunky Mattie Ross in TRUE GRIT, Kim Darby does a good job going through all the various states of uncertainty, fear, and finally stark terror that are required of her as Sally Farnham, despite some really bad hair. The late, lamented Jim Hutton (WHERE THE BOYS ARE, THE GREEN BERETS) brings his familiar lanky persona to the role of Alex, who's initially a bit of an insensitive jerk but finally comes around when the sinister goings-on in his new house can no longer be denied.

Sally's best friend Joan is played by the pretty Barbara Anderson of TV's "Ironside", and in a refreshing change from the usual cliche', Joan isn't having an affair with Alex and they aren't trying to drive Sally crazy. (That seems to be a popular "twist" in movies like this, and the fact that it doesn't happen is the real surprise.) Hollywood veteran William Demarest, needless to say, is reliably solid as the old handyman. Pedro Armendariz, Jr. appears as Sally's emotional interior decorator.

John Newland of TV's "One Step Beyond" directs the film with his usual taste and restraint. He manages to create a very eerie atmosphere inside that big, dimly-lit house. The creatures are pretty effective as well, portrayed by actors running around in oversized sets and wearing some of the ugliest monster masks I've ever seen. There's none of the violence and gore that audiences so often require in order to "scare" them these days--after all, this was 70s network TV--but the film evokes a feeling of dread and unease that gradually builds toward a suspenseful climax that's surprisingly downbeat.

As part of Warner Brothers' Archive Collection, the DVD is totally no-frills and the film itself is transferred from available materials with no remastering or restoration. As such, it looks as it might if you caught it during a late viewing on a local TV station. While more discerning videophiles may cringe, for me this only adds to the nostalgia factor and these burn-on-demand DVDs of titles from the Warner vault are a great idea.

Despite the title, DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK actually wants us to be afraid of the dark. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if I'd seen it when it first aired, it would've scared the crap outta me. Watching it now, though, I'm merely entertained. And that weird sensation of little furry creatures brushing past my legs during the movie is just my imagination, heh heh.

 

 

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK -- DVD review by porfle

DOGVILLE COLLECTION -- DVD review by porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/28/09

 

 

Back in the old days, studios sometimes tended to get a little experimental with their short subjects. And sometimes they got just plain nutty. Nowhere is this more evident than in MGM's bizarre and fascinating "Dogville" shorts, all nine of which are now available in the DOGVILLE COLLECTION, a 2-disc set from Warner Brothers' Archive Collection.

Directed by Jules White ("The Three Stooges") and Zion Myers, these shorts are corny take-offs on various movie genres and sometimes certain films in particular, using dogs in place of human actors. This means you'll see different breeds of dogs wearing clothes, walking around, hanging out in bars, etc. and speaking with dubbed voices. The miniature sets and props are great--sometimes I'd forget they weren't full-sized. Some shots of dogs driving cars, flying (and parachuting out of) airplanes, riding in buses and fire engines, and just about anything else you can think of, are ingenious.

Are these shorts funny, you ask? Well, the sight of a bunch of dogs strolling around on their hind legs wearing clothes and "acting" out scenes from old movies just can't help being occasionally funny, especially when the costumes and setpieces are more elaborate. Every once in a while a dog's expressions will synch perfectly with the dubbed dialogue and be laugh-out-loud hilarious. And even when it doesn't work, you just sit there mesmerized, thinking, "What the hell am I watching?"

Of course, the thing that will make some viewers uncomfortable and others refuse to watch altogether is the possibility of animal cruelty. To what degree any actual abuse might be involved here in these pre-SPCA shorts is hard to ascertain--mainly the dogs just look like they'd rather be somewhere else instead of wearing clothes and pretending to be movie actors, often sporting a distinct "WTF?" expression.

The most bothersome aspect is the use of harnesses and invisible wires to make the dogs walk around on their hind legs. The sight of entire chorus lines of dogs being manipulated in these contraptions is especially worrisome. However, I didn't see anything in any of the shorts that I would consider out-and-out abuse. I assume (naively, perhaps) that these dogs were valuable to MGM and well cared for during the shoots, and that they at least didn't have it as rough as they would if they were being forced to pull sleds in the Yukon.

Running from 1929 to 1931, the series is wonderfully antique-looking with beautiful opening titles. Dubbing and sound effects are well-done considering that talking pictures were still in their infancy, and the editing is snappy and cartoon-like. The first three Dogville shorts are billed as "All Barkies", after which each is officially designated "A Dogville Comedy." MGM's celebrated mascot Leo the Lion sounds like he has a frog in his throat in his first few appearances, loses his voice altogether for a few shorts, and then finally comes back in fine voice for the last ones.

1929's "Hot Dog" takes place in a speakeasy and concerns a roguish playboy named Joe Barker out on the town with Clara Bone, another dog's wife. When she worries that her husband might show up and catch them together, he brags, "I've been chased by some of the best husbands in town!" There's an all-dog band banging away on their instruments while the entertainment onstage consists of some lovely canine hula dancers in grass skirts. "You never looked at me like that," complains one lady dog to her husband, to which he replies, "You never LOOKED like that!" Naturally, the husband does show up, leading to a violent confrontation. "There's my wife with some yellow cur! I'll kill that dirty dog!" is another example of the pun-filled dialogue. The story ends with a dramatic courtroom scene.

In "College Hounds", a spoof of the old campus football comedies, we find a dorm room full of students going about their daily business--shaving, brushing their hair, relaxing in the bath, lifting weights, ironing their clothes--as they discuss the upcoming big game. Later, a scoundrel with big money bet on the other team hires a femme fatale to lure hometown hero Red Mange into a trap so he'll miss the game. There's a really bizarre love scene, and an even more bizarre football game with two whole teams full of dogs in uniforms being scooted around like puppets on a tiny football field.

"Who Killed Rover?" is a Phido Vance murder mystery complete with knives, guns, and all sorts of scary goings on. An all-dog wedding ceremony leads to a romantic honeymoon night with a rather risque' scene--the groom enters the bedroom, whisks the pillow off one of the twin beds, and nestles it next to the other one. Ooh, suggestive! This one has a surprisingly downbeat ending.

"The Dogway Melody", a spoof of backstage musicals, is one of the best. A slick-talking smoothie hustles to get his girlfriend into the big show, which consists of a series of mind-boggling production numbers including an elaborate version of "Singin' in the Rain."

Then comes the impressive war movie spoof "So Quiet on the Canine Front", which features a full-scale WWI battle sequence with machine guns, cannons, and flea grenades. Private Barker is enlisted to go behind enemy lines disguised as a nurse and ends up at the wrong end of a firing squad before his pal rescues him in the nick of time.

"The Big Dog House" tells of a mild-mannered bookkeeper for the Dogville Department Store who is framed by his boss Mr. Barker (related to Private Barker, perhaps?) for embezzlement and murder, and sent to Dogville Penitentiary. A funny spoof of hardboiled prison pictures, this one has another suspenseful ending with the innocent dog on his way to the electric chair as his girlfriend Trixie, after hearing Mr. Barker's deathbed confession, races with the governor to stop the execution.

Heartbroken soldiers in the Foreign Legion recount their sad tales of romantic betrayal in "Love Tails of Morocco", which offers several entertaining flashbacks in various settings. In "The Two Barks Brothers", gypsies steal a baby who later becomes a shiftless tramp named Oscar, while his twin brother grows up to be an anti-liquor crusading district attorney. Underworld beer king "Scartail" Growler hires Oscar to slip some gin into the D.A.'s water pitcher, leading to a hilarious scene in which the D.A. tries to deliver a temperance speech to some conservative citizens while getting sloppy drunk.

The final short, "Trader Hound", lampoons the enormously popular jungle adventure "Trader Horn" which would in turn inspire MGM's "Tarzan" series. Using the same music and basic plot, this spoof begins with a safari into darkest Africa in search of the great white goddess, Nina T-Bone. This film seemed promising but turned out to be one of the worst of the series--much time is devoted to the antics of human actors in animal costumes, with an extended battle between a lion and a gorilla proving particularly boring. The whole thing is narrated by Pete Smith in his usual unfunny (to me, anyway) style. However, the dramatic appearance of Nina T-Bone and the climactic chase as the hunters flee a tribe of dog-eating cannibals liven things up at the end.

As usual with the Warner Archive series, this burn-on-demand DVD set is taken from the best available video masters in the Warner vault, but with no remastering or restoration. Thus, the picture quality is less than perfect, yet considering the age of these shorts they look and sound quite good. Average running time is 15 minutes each.

The entertainment value of these DOGVILLE COLLECTION shorts is, of course, a matter of taste, not to mention one's tolerance for seeing dogs being manipulated like puppets to walk around on two legs and perform other human-like activities. While several moments elicited big laughs, the overall effect of this series of novelty films is a sort of dazed incredulity at their utter strangeness. I would love to see a roomful of stoners watching these things and flipping out.

 

 

DOGVILLE COLLECTION -- DVD review by porfle

THE OUR GANG COLLECTION -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 9/13/09

 

Back in the 20s and 30s, the downright funniest movie shorts came from that bustling hotbed of comedy genius, Hal Roach Studios. One day in 1922, Hal had the idea of putting a bunch of everyday kids together in front of the camera and letting them act natural, with a minimum of scripting and direction. This resulted in the beloved and wildly successful series, Hal Roach's Rascals (or "Our Gang", after the title of their first film), out of which came some of the most popular child actors of all time. A few, like Jackie Cooper, continued their acting careers into adulthood, while most lapsed into obscurity after their brief stardom.


In 1938, Roach sold the series to MGM, and a brand new era began in the Rascals' saga--one which might be referred to as "The Unfunny Years." These 52 MGM shorts, which make up the Warner Archive's 5-DVD set THE OUR GANG COLLECTION, are irresistibly fascinating to me not for their great performances or comedy content, which are in short supply, but for two other reasons altogether. One, they're the shorts that I grew up with first, so they have a deep nostalgic value to me. These things are just ingrained in my memory, and watching them again is like reliving the past. And two, they document the decline and eventual demise of Our Gang and their classic series.


Most of these slickly-produced shorts have little or none of the simple humor, spontaneity, or natural performances encouraged at Roach. Indeed, the ones that aren't pale imitations of the earlier films are either preachy "teach the kids a lesson" sermons ("Don't Lie", "Time Out For Lessons") or plotless music and dance reviews intended solely as novelty shorts or WWII morale boosters ("Doin' Their Bit", "Melodies Old and New", "Calling All Kids"), with the Gang often lost amidst a sea of anonymous showbiz kids and cringe-inducing production numbers.

"Ye Olde Minstrels" is the first of these practically plotless musical novelties. In this case, the Gang gets all worked up about helping the Red Cross and decides to put on yet another show, this time with the help of Froggy's uncle who's an old-time minstrel man. After a couple minutes' obligatory exposition the big show is in full gear, on a big stage with elaborate costumes and sets and a bunch of other faceless child performers.


A precision (well, not quite) dance number is followed by some creaky old vaudeville patter from Spanky, Froggy, and Mickey, and then Froggy's uncle finishes the show with a blackface song and dance routine to which the audience responds with raucous applause. It's all really quite awful, and about as far as you can get from those charmingly makeshift shows the Gang used to put on in their old barn. The later WWII clunkers with their tired military gags, racist jokes, and almost masturbatory patriotism, are even worse.


One by one, key players in one of the Gang's most revered line-ups--Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, Buckwheat, and Porky--fall by the wayside due to advancing age, making way for less talented or appealing kids to replace them in these increasingly entertainment-free MGM productions. The loveable Darla Hood bites the dust after the laughing-gas comedy "Wedding Worries", and veteran laugh-getter Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer's last gasp is "Kiddie Kure", with guest star Thurston Hall. The quintessential bully, Tommy "Butch" Bond, makes several menacing and memorable appearances as Alfalfa's two-fisted romantic rival before stepping aside for the considerably less appealing Freddy "Slicker" Walburn.


Porky's disappearance breaks up his beautiful team-up with Buckwheat, who, as it turns out, is the only member of this particular group to make it to the bitter end in the fittingly-titled fizzle, "Tale of a Dog" (1944). Arguably the most popular and well-known Our Ganger of all time, George "Spanky" McFarland, holds out against encroaching puberty until "Unexpected Riches" marks his swan song. Without a doubt, Spanky and Alfalfa were two of the most genuinely talented and skilled comic actors in the Gang's history, and despite the bad scripts they were given to perform in later years, they brought a vitality and watchability to these shorts that were sorely lacking after their departure.


Froggy, the homely, bespectacled kid with the deadpan delivery and steamboat voice, appeared in "The New Pupil" and "Waldo's Last Stand" before becoming an official Gang member in "Kiddie Kure." Froggy was actually a pretty talented and funny kid when he wasn't over-directed and had good material to work with. Unfortunately, as the series grew progressively less funny, he was saddled with the unenviable task of delivering joyless, leaden punchlines (usually nonsensical quotes from various aunts and uncles) intended to end humorless stories with a "laugh."

Taking Darla's place as "the girl" was Janet Burston, whose brief debut was a hilariously bad rendition of something called "Tippy Tippy Tin" in "All About Hash." Critic Leonard Maltin pretty much excoriates Janet in his essential history of the series, "Our Gang: The Life and Times of the Little Rascals", but I think she was a talented singer and dancer and was cute as a button.


Again, it's the material that does her in--the depressing "Family Troubles" finds her running away from home in tears because she's not getting enough attention, then getting "adapted" by an older couple who decide to teach her a lesson by treating her like a galley slave. But in the shameless WWII flag-waver "Calling All Kids", her song-and-dance number "I Love a Man in Uniform" is bubbling with personality and fun. So you can count me among the small group of fans who think that Janet was actually an asset to these shorts rather than an element in their decline.


Easily the most famous of the latter Gangers was the future Robert Blake, known here by his real name, Mickey Gubitosi. Maltin's book rightly points out Mickey's artificial acting style, which is obvious from his very first appearance as a junior Ganger in "Joy Scouts" and is evidenced by broad, practiced gestures, hammy expressions, and overly declarative line readings. Still, he's a cute kid and I like him.


In later years Blake told of how he blustered his way into a leading role by being able to deliver lines that another kid actor couldn't, and ended up helping to support his family with his acting wages. So it's no surprise that little Mickey Gubitosi can be seen selling every line and gesture with everything he's got--the little guy's doing what he can to put food on his family's table and clothes on their backs! There would be plenty of time for subtlety and craftsmanship later in his acting career. Anyway, it's interesting to watch the future "In Cold Blood" star (and tabloid mainstay) ham it up as a precocious tyke.


This Warner Archive Collection DVD set is a major event for Our Gang fans. All 52 original uncut MGM shorts are here, and save for a rough patch here and there, the picture quality is fine. There are no extras--not even a menu with a funny picture on it or anything--but that's the point of the Warner Archive's no-frills policy of putting obscure and/or hard-to-find fan favorites on DVD that would normally be collecting dust in their vaults.


I honestly don't know if these shorts will appeal to people who didn't grow up with them and now look back on them with fond nostalgia. Several of the earlier ones--such as "Aladdin's Lantern", "Men in Fright", and "Clown Princes"--retain much of the charm of the Hal Roach shorts, and even some of the inferior ones still get by on the personalities of Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, and the rest. But most of the latter entries in this collection have little conventional entertainment value and appeal only as strange, puzzling artifacts of their era and retro-camp novelties.


As such, the worst of them boast almost the same perverse fascination as films such as REEFER MADNESS and GLEN OR GLENDA? The world in which the filmmakers at MGM place Our Gang is ultimately a dour, humorless place dominated by glowering authority figures (whom we're supposed to respect) and rigidly upstanding citizens. There's a joyless, almost ghostly unfunniness hanging over this dreary MGM backlot world as the "Our Gang" series meanders toward its ignominious end, one from which I, both out of nostalgia and a strange kind of curiosity, find myself unable to look away. To me, this is genuinely fascinating stuff. It's just the kind of thing ERASERHEAD's Henry Spencer might watch when he isn't staring into the radiator.

 

 

THE OUR GANG COLLECTION -- DVD review by porfle