THE BLOODY APE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Just so I don't give you the wrong impression, I want to say up front that this is a favorable review. I had loads of fun watching THE BLOODY APE, writer-director Keith J. Crocker's affectionate homage to the drive-in trash of yesteryear, and will enthusiastically recommend it to people who come knocking at my door trying to sell me a satellite dish or invite me to their church. 

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way and we can speak freely, I'll try to describe this surreal cinematic artifact to you. Imagine a cross between LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, BLOOD FEAST, and your dad's worst home movies. Whatever your mind comes up with, this is worse. Though filmed in 1997, it looks as though it were shot in 1967, buried, and then dug up by somebody's dog in 1997. It makes PINK FLAMINGOS look like it was directed by Terrence Malick. In fact, it makes almost literally every other movie ever made look good in comparison, unless, of course, Billy Crystal is in it. 

All of this, however, is simply part of THE BLOODY APE's makeshift charm. Crocker, a devoted grindhouse film aficionado who for several years published the popular fanzine "Exploitation Journal" with his pal George Reis, eschewed the "shot-on-video" look of much of today's indy titles and went instead for the more traditional look of actual film. Super 8mm film, that is--exactly the same stuff that all of us pre-home-video auteurs used in order to make our own geeky home monster movies back in high school. Except here, Crocker managed to shoot a feature film and get it released, so you gotta admire him for that. It's this homespun ingenuity and love for moviemaking that help make THE BLOODY APE such a strangely fascinating experience. 

The gleefully bizarre screenplay by Crocker and Reis is another factor. Loosely inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's "Murders in the Rue Morgue", it's the story of a carnival barker named Lampini (after George Zucco's character in HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN) and his beloved performing gorilla, Gordo. After being screwed over by an abusive garage mechanic and a crooked rabbi, and then rejected by his girlfriend Ginger while he's proposing to her, Lampini decides to use his ape as an instrument of revenge. Taking a cue from Bela Lugosi's diabolical aftershave murders in THE DEVIL BAT, Lampini mails Ginger some of his special homemade banana cream soap. This lures Gordo to Ginger's apartment, where he kills her roommates in a frenzy of fake blood and banana-scented soap suds. 

In one scene, we get to see what would've happened in PSYCHO if Janet Leigh's shower had been interrupted by a crazed gorilla instead of Norman Bates. Then Gordo chases another naked roommate around the livingroom couch a few times before squeezing the life out of her as she looks into the camera and laughs. Rabbi Rabinowitz and Vic White, the incredibly racist garage mechanic, are next on the list, having been given bunches of bananas by Lampini beforehand. I don't want to spoil too much of the intricate plot, but this is where Gordo rapes Rabbi Rabinowitz' wife and then disembowels her. Although this sounds horrible, the fact that the victim is giggling through the whole ordeal tends to soften the heinousness a bit. 

Gordo's reign of terror then goes on to include car theft--he drives around until stopped by a cop, whose head he pulls off--and the murder of an ill-mannered video store clerk, which is justifiable. Equally shocking is the scene in which a hippie is furtively taking a leak in some bushes when the confused ape mistakes part of his anatomy for a banana, and... During all of this, an incredibly racist police lieutenant named LoBianco (Reis, who also plays Gordo) is irrationally convinced that the whole killing spree is the work of an innocent black man named Duane Jones (after the lead actor in George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD), which is a whole other subplot. With his ridiculous hair-helmet wig and fake goatee, Reis is as over-the-top hilarious as everything else about this movie. And as mechanic Vic White, Larry Koster is like a Jerky Boys character come to life. The early scene in which he browbeats the incredulous Duane (Chris Hoskins) out of the garage simply for wanting his car fixed sets the goofball tone for the rest of the film. 

Acting honors, however, must go to Paul Richichi as Lampini. With his dopey porkpie hat, cane, and Dracula cape, the ever-cheerful Lampini is a delightfully absurd character brimming with memorable quotes, as during his romantic dinner with Ginger: "The sky has never been bluer, the grass has never been greener, and Japanese sports cars have never been smaller, ever since I laid my head between your breasts," he gushes over a plate of Spaghetti-O's. "My love for you is as deep and as wide as the expanses of your vaginal cavity." To which the nonplussed Ginger responds: "What's the matter with you tonight? You're acting like a crackpot--like one of those self-proclaimed medicine men from the days of yore." Later, regretting his callous treatment of Gordo, he laments that he has become "so overwhelmed with repugnance for my enemies, that my love for my ape completely disappeared." 

Now, this is where I usually mention stuff like image and sound quality, but we'll skip that part and go on to the bonus features. The audio commentary is an entertaining gabfest with Crocker, Reis, Richichi, and Wild Eye DVD's Rob Hauschild, who directed the informative "making of" featurette, "Grindhouse Gorilla." Next is a Crocker short film, "One Grave Too Many", which boasts a crude sort of creepiness. Lots of other miscellaneous stuff is included: a gallery of covers from the "Exploitation Journal" 'zine, trailers for THE BLOODY APE and BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69, a pressbook, original VHS cover art, lobby cards, stills, and other related art. 

If you've read this far, you already know whether or not you should watch THE BLOODY APE as soon as possible or avoid it like the plague. It's loaded with exploitation goodies--nudity, violence, badly-done gore, bizarre situations, extreme characters, weird comedy--and done in such an unabashedly crude way that it radiates its own strange kind of fascination. As a Poe adaptation, George Reis accurately comments: "If you're running down the films based on Edgar Allan Poe, it's--one of them." As a study in miscommunication, as Crocker describes it, you couldn't find characters that are more miscommunicative. As cinema, it's like some kind of Super 8mm folk art whose worth can only be measured by each individual who watches it. As for me, I found it to be one of the funniest and most entertaining comedy-horror films that I watched yesterday.

 

THE BLOODY APE -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE PERFECT HOUSE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/24/14

 

Betraying hardly a hint of the shocking bloodbath it will eventually become, Wild Eye Releasing's THE PERFECT HOUSE (2012) starts out on a darkly humorous note with an average family having dinner with a burly, grey-haired neighbor with whom they've had an ongoing dispute over a borrowed weed-whacker.

It's a bit misleading, since we're led to think that this darkly tongue-in-cheek attitude will extend throughout the film. It does, in fact, last until about the halfway point, at which all humor suddenly disappears and the whole thing becomes a wallow in gratuitous gore, torture, and perversion in which absolutely nothing is sacred.

The opening segment ends just as the point of ultimate outrage over the errant weed-whacker is reached, but the aftermath (which we won't see until much later) is hinted at during the following story in which a real estate agent tries to unload the now-vacant house on a couple of prospective buyers who can't understand why it's going for such a steal.

If you're like me, then the MILF-a-licious Monique Parent will definitely ring your chimes as the seductive real estate agent who seems more interested in sharing a bed with house-hunters Marisol and Mike than selling them one. She, in fact, is the only interesting thing about this plotless segment which will pretty much go nowhere, especially after it's interrupted by a flashback.

A black-and-white interlude (during which we discover why Monique is hesitant to show the couple the basement) tells of a highly dysfunctional family in which the father dotes on his teenage daughter to an unhealthy degree while his son feels left out. The mother, meanwhile, is an overbearing harpy who berates them all mercilessly night and day.

When the four of them are forced to seek shelter in the basement from an oncoming tornado, the situation suddenly erupts into lots of squishy gore effects replete with dismembered body parts and an overall ambience of splatter. Not really a story per se, more of a vignette in which we wonder who's going to emerge alive from all the hacking and spewing going on in that shadowy darkness, it's kind of interesting. But again--no plot.

Suddenly, we fast-forward into another basement-based situation in which the house's next owner, a serial killing yokel played by Jonathan Tiersten ("Ricky" from SLEEPAWAY CAMP), keeps a woman captive in a chain-link cage while he forces her to be his "audience" and watch him dispatch one victim after another.

Holly Greene is actually pretty funny as the caged woman who must wearily deal with each frantic "newbie" in the adjoining cage and who keeps up with the days of the week by what is done to her ("All I know is I get fed on Wednesdays and raped on Fridays").

It's here, however, that THE PERFECT HOUSE veers into unrelenting torture porn, and, while the sequence ends in fairly satisfying fashion, it serves merely as an appetizer for the all-out bloody horror that is the utterly mortifying climax of the "weed-whacker" story.

Sick, grotesque, and "appalling" in the truest H.G. Lewis sense of the word, this is fifteen or twenty minutes that will test your tolerance for torture-tainment and perhaps cause you to question your own sanity for sitting through it. The closest it comes to having a story can be summarized with the line "A bunch of insanely horrible stuff happens, the end."

As the mother of the luckless family who meet their frightful fate in the basement of horror, co-producer Felissa Rose probably does more screaming here than in all her other movies combined. And for good reason, too. (It's too bad she doesn't share any screen time with SLEEPAWAY CAMP co-star Jonathan Tiersten.) Her husband Jeff--who should've returned that damn weed-whacker--is played by John Philbin of TOMBSTONE and RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

I reviewed a barebones screener for this movie and thus cannot comment on extras. The press release states: "The DVD release of The Perfect House (SRP $14.95) will exclusively include over two hours of bonus features: behind the scenes featurettes, cast interviews, footage from the national theatrical tour, special effects featurettes, Q&A footage and an alternate ending."

The level of gruesome carnage found in THE PERFECT HOUSE will be old hat to some (namely, those who have been "desensitized", as they say, to such horrors) and it may indeed suffice for the lack of a plotline. Others, however, are advised to either exercise extreme caution or just skip the whole thing altogether.

THE PERFECT HOUSE -- DVD Review by Porfle

CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/7/15

 

Petulant, petty, puerile, cowardly yet arrogant, incredibly vain, and prone to violent temper tantrums, struggling would-be actor Caesar Denovio is once again the "Ren" to lovable slob Otto's "Stimpy" in their latest laugh-packed horror comedy, CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN (2015). 

As the hapless half-brothers, Dave Campfield and Paul Chomicki first hit the screen in a reality TV spoof that was aptly titled CAESAR AND OTTO.  After that, they veered into slasher territory with CAESAR AND OTTO'S SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE and CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS while paying homage to classic horror in the short films CAESAR AND OTTO IN THE HOUSE OF DRACULA and CAESAR AND OTTO MEET DRACULA'S LAWYER. Here, they're back in action facing more supernatural perils in their most fast-moving mashup of the horror genre yet. 

The story starts off running with a hysterical spoof of HALLOWEEN that SCARY MOVIE wishes it had thought of.  In addition to the ghastly sight of Caesar and Otto dressed in drag so that they can score high-paying babysitter jobs, we also get a jab at Dr. Phil thrown in for good measure.  And this is before the credits have even rolled.

Before long the boys find themselves house-sitting for highly unpopular governor Jerry Grayson (series stalwart Ken MacFarlane, THE MILLENNIUM BUG) in a dream mansion that seems too good to be true.  What the governor fails to mention is that it's haunted.  I mean really, really haunted.

This is just the jumping off point for director and co-writer Campfield to start lampooning every fright flick from THE SHINING to PARANORMAL ACTIVITY to INSIDIOUS to THE AMITYVILLE HORROR.  THE EXORCIST is given its due when the boys' roguish dad Fred (Scott Aguilar) shows up and gets possessed (actually, it turns out he's just extremely drunk) which draws the questionable involvement of priests Sean Whalen (LAID TO REST) and Deron Miller (SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE, DEADLY XMAS). 

As usual, rank silliness is elevated to a sort of rough-hewn art form in this installment of the ongoing series, with sharp editing and a cartoon-like pace giving it the giddy feel of a live-action Looney Tune.  The gags are non-stop with barely a breath between them, and most of them score (if not a guffaw, then at least a knowing titter). 

Production values, while still not quite on the level of a Spielberg film, are the most lavish for an entry in this series.  This is probably Dave Campfield's best work as a filmmaker so far (although his first film, the serious thriller DARK CHAMBER, continues to impress). 

Besides its inventive script, the film's main strength is a cast that many indy filmmakers would die for.  Scream queens Tiffany Shepis (BONNIE AND CLYDE VS. DRACULA), Debbie Rochon (THE THEATER BIZARRE), and Brinke Stevens (JONAH LIVES) are on hand along with SLEEPAWAY CAMP's Felissa Rose and Beverly Randolph of RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. 

Vernon Wells (THE ROAD WARRIOR's iconic "Wez") shows up as an axe-wielding psycho in a creepy old 8mm film the Denovios discover in a hidden room.  Rising stars JamieLee Ackerman and Josephine Iannece make an impression as the mansion's mysterious cook and gardener.  And as the titular non-heroes, Campfield and Chomicki just might be the greatest comedy duo since Abbott and Costello.

The DVD from WildEye Releasing is in anamorphic widescreen with 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  A wealth of bonus features include two commentary tracks (one with Campfield, Ackerman, and Iannece, the other featuring Chomicki and other cast and crew), a gag reel, a tribute to the late Robert Z'Dar, trailers, behind the scenes videos and podcasts, and the delightful "Son of Piggyzilla" trilogy of shorts about everyone's favorite giant carnivorous guinea pig. 

Several cool Easter Eggs can also be found on the various menus.  Click on everything!  (I'm even mentioned in one of them!)

All the slapstick gore and goofy thrills you expect from a Caesar and Otto flick, and then some, are lurking in the delirious CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN.  So check it out, but beware--you just might die laughing. 

Official Trailer

CAESAR AND OTTO'S PARANORMAL HALLOWEEN -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/9/16

 

If you're unfamiliar with Weng Weng, all it takes to remedy the problem is seeing the trailer for the James Bond spoof "For Y'ur Height Only" which kicks off writer-director Andrew Leavold's affectionate documentary THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG (2007). 

For the next two minutes or so, we see the diminutive Filipino movie star (all 2'9" of him) going through all the familiar Bond motions, such as the gun-barrel sequence and a wobbly-wired imitation of his celebrated rocket pack flight from THUNDERBALL, in addition to all the shooting and fancy fighting (not to mention romancing) we're used to seeing from Sean Connery.

Needless to say, watching the vertically-challenged Weng Weng as Agent 00 doing all this action-oriented secret agent stuff in a spiffy white suit is the very definition of the term "novelty."

It's this quality that prompted the film industry in the Philippines to churn out a number of Weng Weng films in quick succession, one of which ended up in the hands of Australian cult video store owner Leavold in the form of an obscure VHS copy and sparked in him the keen desire to do a film biography of the tiny actor. 

But finding out about him proved an elusive prospect at best, so, Mini-DV camera in hand, Leavold took the bold step of traveling to the Philippines in order to track down anyone he could find who could help shed light on his elusive subject. 

As we see here, he pretty much hit the jackpot, running across not only former cast and crewmates of Weng Weng but the man's only living relative, brother Celing de la Cruz, all of whom are only too happy to share their fond reminiscences.

Sadly, all was not happiness and success for Weng Weng--as we discover, he was taken advantage of by some whom he trusted while never finding the fulfillment in life that a man of normal stature might have. 

Still, as we find in what is probably the most fascinating segment in the film, Weng Weng was a favorite of his country's political royalty, Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos.  Leavold scores a major coup by being invited to the palace by an enthusiastic Mrs. Marcos herself and treated as a special guest to whom she is quite talkative and candid.  (The film's weirdest moment for me: visiting Ferdinand's embalmed body, which is still lying in state for all to visit.)

Of immense importance to him as well, of course, are the interviews with Weng Weng's brother and those who worked with him.  Leavold is able to extract much interesting information with which to construct a picture of the man's life and give us an empathetic understanding of what it was like to be an irresistible novelty to some and a freak to others.

All of this is enhanced not only by nicely-shot interview footage but also with copious amounts of film clips featuring Weng Weng in all his glory.  The films themselves are incredibly cheap and sub-par technically, and I seriously doubt than their plots would be of much interest, so it's nice to simply get an entertaining montage of scenes from all of them which are made more interesting by the knowledge that Weng Weng performed all of his own stunts.  After all, where would they find a 2'9" stunt man to stand in for him?

The DVD from WildEye Releasing contains an informative commentary track from Leavold, a trailer, deleted scenes, an "I Love Weng Weng" music video, and extended interview segments.  There's also a trailer for Leavold's upcoming Doris Wishman parody "Gone Lesbo Gone." 

THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG isn't just a filmed biography, but also a detective story in which the director, obsessed with his subject, tracks him down as Holmes might track Moriarty.  The result is a true story with equal shares of triumph and tragedy, and an opportunity to get to know this sweetly likable little man who made a big mark on the Filipino film industry while gaining fans all around the world.

THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE NEON DEAD -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 9/14/16

In the wonderful world of low-budget indy horror features, you never know what you're gonna get.  With THE NEON DEAD (2015), you get it all--good, bad, funny, cringey, bouncy, and blah--all coming at you like someone just kicked a box of chocolates in your face.

The cast aren't Oscar material, but they're good enough, and funny enough, and...darn it, I like them.  Marie Barker plays Allison Hillstead, a cute blonde who just moved into a large secluded house she inherited and finds out that it's haunted by terrifying supernatural creatures who look like zombies sporting glow-in-the-dark war paint and neon eyes. 

When she calls the number on a business card given to her by Ashley, a passing Wilderness Scout (Josie Levy) who's out stumping for donations but gets all excited by the prospect of seeing real zombies, a couple of losers working in a video store (Greg Garrison and D. Dylan Schettina as Desmond and Jake) hurry out to her house and introduce themselves as freelance paranormal exterminators, conveniently leaving the word "inept" out of the description.

Allison discovers that a previous relative from the 1800s named Drake Hillstead (Andrew Puckett) once invoked deadly supernatural forces to create undead servants to do his evil bidding, and these zombies (Jake keeps insisting that, technically, they aren't really "zombies") are now popping up all over the place along with an equally undead but much more hostile and super-evil version of Drake with bulging lit-up eyeballs and a giant neon smile. 

I stopped keeping up with the rest of the exposition related to this phenomenon and just watched the ensuing cavalcade of undead carnage which began to fill the screen like a whirlwind of hokey horror. 

First there's a hark-back to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD with our three main characters barracading themselves in the house to repel a zombie attack, only this time there are good zombies inside the house helping them.  (It's a long story.) 

 

Later, things just go totally nuts as THE NEON DEAD tries its best to be a cross between THE EVIL DEAD and the zanier ARMY OF DARKNESS and doesn't quite hit the bullseye.  Frenetic action takes over when Desmond starts sword-fighting with Drake and then takes on a Cthulu-like doomsday creature within a swirling space vortex that stretches the capabilities of the SPFX team. 

Not that this is a bad thing, though--I love to see talented people doing what they can within modest means, and here, the tech artists really get a chance to outdo themselves.  There's even quite a bit of good old-fashioned stop-motion animation which should please fans of that near-obsolete technique (like me) to no end.  In some shots, even the faces of the "zombies" are rendered in stop-motion animation and inserted onto live-action bodies. 

First-time writer/director Torey Haas keeps things sailing along at a fast clip that only drags during a flashback sequence about midway through, and stages the action nicely.  The winsome Marie Barker gives us a befuddled but scrappy Allison, while Garrison and Schettina deliver an amusingly wisecracking Desmond and an endearingly nerdy Jake respectively. 

Comedy kudos, however, belong (in my regarded opinion, anyway) to young Josie Levy in her too-brief role as Ashley the Wilderness Scout, whom Haas lauds in his commentary track as one of the most professional members of the cast. 

Besides this informative commentary, extras on the DVD include several character profiles that play like deleted scenes (they're quite good, too), two short films by Haas, and trailers for this and other films from WildEye Releasing. The feature is widescreen with 2.0 sound.  No subtitles. 

As with any other bag of tasty Halloween treats, THE NEON DEAD is like a bunch of yummies with the occasional yucky mixed in.  I didn't mind, though, and happily gorged myself on the whole teeth-rotting concoction until it was all gone.

THE NEON DEAD -- DVD Review by Porfle

TALES OF POE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/23/16

 

For Edgar Allan Poe fans, film adaptations of his works have always been a mixed bag.  Even the most faithful ones can fail to capture the author's unique essence, while others take his familiar name and story titles in completely different, often inferior directions. 

Any feature-length screenplay based on his short stories, such as in the celebrated Roger Corman films, must use Poe's ideas as a starting point to be built upon and/or padded out, for better or worse.  This is sometimes true even for the anthologies such as TALES OF TERROR and TWO EVIL EYES.

TALES OF POE (2014) is an anthology made up of three short films which, while not strictly adhering to the original stories as written, do a great job of retaining their mood and feeling--along with certain basic plot points--while offering up a wealth of fascinating surprises.  The adaptations conjure a richly atmospheric mood that combines the subtlety of Poe's prose with moments that go shockingly over the top.

 

Directors Alan Rowe Kelly (director and co-star of THE BLOOD SHED)and Bart Mastronardi, who co-wrote the screenplay with Michael Varrati, have come up with three totally fresh, creative adaptations that breathe new life into these oft-told tales without straying too far from the qualities that made them memorable in the first place.  A  once-in-a-lifetime cast of genre favorites and lavish production values (despite a low budget) help make the experience all the richer. 

"The Tell-Tale Heart" gets a sex change, with scream queen Debbie Rochon (MODEL HUNGER, THE THEATER BIZARRE) outstanding as a nurse-for-hire tending to wealthy invalid and former silent screen star Miss Lamarr (Kelly) in her spacious, museum-like estate.  Poe fans will know that the eccentric but otherwise harmless Miss Lamarr sports one blind, milky-white eye which the mentally-unstable nurse finds utterly repulsive to the point of plotting the old woman's murder in the dead of night. 

Rochon's character tells the story in flashback to her fellow inmates in an insane asylum, retaining much of Poe's original prose and adding just enough to keep things enticingly unexpected for the viewer.  Some well-rendered sex and violence also adds just the right measure of visceral impact for modern audiences.  Desiree Gould (SLEEPAWAY CAMP's "Aunt Martha") makes a strong impression as a malicious nurse.

 

Once again centering around one or two particular events that stoked Poe's imagination enough to create a story around them, "The Cask" takes the horror of being imprisoned alive behind a brick wall--while watching it being constructed brick by brick--and fleshes it out into a whole new yet equally chilling story.

This time, wealthy wine connoisseur Fortunato Montresor (Randy Jones, better known as the cowboy from The Village People) and his blowsy new bride Gogo (Alan Rowe Kelly again) are leading a flamboyant assemblage of wedding guests through his vast wine cellar when suddenly one of the women (Zoe Daelman Chlanda), a psychic, starts hugging the cold stone wall and having convulsions.  Apparently, she's foreseeing the horror that's in store for one of the newlyweds when the other proves to be, shall we say, "unfaithful."

Where "The Tell-Tale Heart" is unrelievedly Gothic and dark, "The Cask" mixes a bit more humor (nice and dry, like a good wine) with its chills, bringing to mind the "Something To Tide You Over" episode of CREEPSHOW.  Jones acquits himself very well, as do Brewster McCall as family friend Marco Lechresi and genre stalwart Susan Adriensen (PRISON OF THE PSYCHOTIC DAMNED, THE BLOOD SHED), always a pleasure to watch, as their creepy housemaid Morella.  But it's Kelly who once again impresses the most by playing the role of an overbearing woman to the point of caricature without going over.

The third and final story, "Dreams", is based on various poems by Poe and "A Dream Within a Dream" in particular.  Here, we get the most surreal and non-linear interpretation of his works in the story of a young woman (Bette Cassatt, MODEL HUNGER) whose dreamlike delirium while on her deathbed provides an endless flow of free-form imagery steeped in symbolism that's both poetic and repellent.  

Like a moribund Alice whose wonderland is the twilight world of her own life and death, The Dreamer wanders through ever-changing landscapes of her mind under the guidance of a benevolent Angel of Dreams (Caroline Williams, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2) while being plagued by an evil woman in black (Lesleh Donaldson, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, CURTAINS) who represents negativity and fear.

Even the woman's hospital room is a dark and foreboding place presided over by a scary nurse (Adrienne King of FRIDAY THE 13TH).  Other odds and ends from Poe's repertoire appear such as characters Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether.

Just as the plotless succession of images seems to be going nowhere, it's brought to a poignant conclusion thanks in part to a moving performance by Amy Steel (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2) as The Dreamer's careworn mother.

The DVD from WildEye Releasing is in widescreen with 2.0 sound. No subtitles.  Extras include a behind-the-scenes featurette, an interview with director Bart Mastronardi, some very intriguing deleted scenes, and trailers.  

The perversely delightful TALES OF POE is brilliantly rendered by all involved and serves as an excellent primer for any contemporary viewer unfamiliar with Poe who might be wondering what the big deal is.  Dark, mesmerizing, sometimes intoxicatingly nightmarish, it's absolutely top-drawer indy filmmaking which I believe many devotees of the original author will find irresistible.

TALES OF POE -- DVD Review by Porfle

BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/23/09

 

 

At a stultifying 135 minutes, Keith J. Crocker's ode to grindhouse Nazi-sploitation, BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 (2008), is almost twice as long as his 1997 trash classic THE BLOODY APE, but not quite as much fun to watch. Still, the more prurient among us (excluding myself, of course, heh heh) will find much to enjoy, although getting to these tidbits of titillation can be pretty slow going until the lively climax.

With the writer-director of THE BLOODY APE at the helm, BLITZKRIEG's atrocities rub shoulders with lots of goofy comedy. Charles Esser plays Helmut Schultz, the rotund commandant of the camp, like a petulant kid whose mommy didn't love him enough. Shoehorned into the same uniform that he had fifty pounds ago and sporting a German accent that would be hard for Arnold Schwarzenegger to decipher, Schultz delights in performing inhuman experiments on prisoners even as his superiors warn him of retaliation by the rapidly advancing Allied forces. His Ilsa-lite sister Frieda (Gordana Jenell) is a junior officer who also enjoys tormenting the hapless POWs.

Schultz's "pet" project is a mutant ape-man (seen only in deleted scenes) about which he boasts, "This beast will not only kill the enemy...he will rape the women, and defile the entire environment!" After a disapproving scientist nixes the project, Schultz tells his equally-corpulent toady Wolfgang (Steve Montague): "He must be blind not to realize the potential of my mighty man-ape!"

Meanwhile, burly Yank prisoner Jack Jones (Edward Yankus) is planning a daring escape with the help of his fellow inmates Lucille (Brenda Cooney), a plucky Scottish lass, and the fierce Natasha (Tatyana Kot), a Russian ball of fire whose unending torture sessions only make her more revenge-crazed and dangerous. Yankus, whose acting style consists mainly of reciting his lines without actually falling over, resembles an amusing cross between John Goodman and Al Gore. Crocker himself, as "James St. Bernard", appears as an American sad sack named "Bernard St. James."

Also joining the Allied opposition are two captured USO performers-- Marjie Kelly as 70s style jive-talkin' black mama Marjie ("Who in the hell are you two turkeys?" she asks Schultz and Wolfgang), and Tammy Dalton as a cute Southern-fried stripper named Candice, who, posing as a guard, greets an approaching Nazi with a chipper "Heil Hitler, y'all!" Kelley looks well fit in the buff, but after a brief flogging and a shower scene, she doesn't have much to do. But when sweet Candice is forced to perform her cheesy burlesque act for her jeering captors, Tammy Dalton pulls it off beautifully. It's one of the three or four really good setpieces in the film--suddenly Crocker and company are firing on all cylinders and, for a few minutes, it feels like we're watching a real movie.

For sheer, manic intensity, however, nobody in the cast can match Tatyana Kot. Her flame-haired dervish Natasha is a real treat to watch, whether she's spitting blood and screaming wild-eyed obscenities back at her torturers or running naked through the woods with a machine gun, mowing down German soldiers. In a flashback, we see her lure one of them into a bubbly bathtub for some almost-hardcore sex before gleefully castrating him, in an obvious homage to the tub scene from I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

Another penectomy occurs in the Nazi torture dungeon, this time in full close-up as the sadistic and sexy Dr. Zuber demonstrates to a visiting Japanese general (Wayne Chang) the best way to neutralize an unruly male prisoner. Here, the awesome Steph Van Vlack, who is the closest thing in BLITZKRIEG to a genuine "Ilsa"-type character, delivers the film's most skilled performance while once again the direction and camerawork somehow click into just the right groove. Seductive yet steely-eyed and evil, the topless Dr. Zuber playfully toys with her captive until the scene comes to a cutting end with some fake-looking but rather startling FX. After that, I'm thinking that if Crocker had made Steph Van Vlack's Dr. Zuber the main character of this movie, it would've been a lot more awesome.

Additional horrors include Natasha's incessant ordeals of bamboo shoots under the fingernails, hot branding irons, a nasty finger vise, a stretching rack, etc., plus various other male and female prisoners being violated in depraved ways. These episodes are interspersed between numerous boring dialogue sequences until finally we get to the breakout finale, where the action finally kicks into high gear. In addition to the obligatory gory revenge against the Nazis, some of the good guys also get theirs in surprising ways and there's an ironic twist or two as well. It's no spoiler to reveal that Schultz gets away, since the whole sordid tale is a flashback that he's recounting years later to a shocked priest (THE BLOODY APE's Paul Richichi), in a framing story that has its own surprise ending.

Obviously, no film made for $10,000 is going to look all that impressive, especially when it's a WWII sex-and-sadism thriller set in a Nazi prison camp. The locations are okay although some of the camp exteriors look like they were shot in somebody's backyard. Costuming and set design (by co-scripter Keith Matturro) range from semi-realistic to impressionistic, with a ragtag group of Russian POWs looking the most authentic. Crocker decided to go with the cheaper digital video instead of film this time, although his 16mm black-and-white test footage (one of the DVD's extras) looks pretty cool.

Other bonus features include an entertaining commentary track with Crocker, Matturro, Kot, and Wild Eye Releasing's Rob Hauschild, a making-of featurette called "Nazis Over Nassau", the original 16mm extended trailer "Schindler's Lust" (1995) starring THE BLOODY APE's Larry Koster, deleted scenes, a cast and crew Q & A session from the film's premiere, production stills, bloopers, trailers, and short film by Crocker entitled "Desade '88." Image and sound quality are okay, although the really bad accents rendered much of the dialogue difficult for me to make out.

Although the production values are exceedingly low, it's fun watching Keith Crocker attempt something this ambitious on such a small budget. And while it takes a bit of effort to get through this overlong and often tedious schlock epic, there are enough elements of sex, violence, and perversion--along with some pretty off-the-wall comedy--to make the trip worthwhile for fans of this bizarro brand of entertainment.

BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 -- DVD Review by Porfle

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 9/15/10

 

As one of the shocked and terrified viewers who sat in the dark watching NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) during its first run, I found the concept of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED-- that is, the entire film reinterpreted piecemeal by a variety of graphic artists, along with the original soundtrack--to be irresistibly intriguing. My initial viewing of this disjointed and sometimes off-puttingly crude curio was, unfortunately, a disappointment.

However, once I realized that the film is intended as a sort of kinetic art gallery rather than a cohesive narrative, and that it's more of a fan-contributor project (by organizer-curator Mike Schneider) than the polished work of professional artists and animators, I was able to relax my expectations and begin to appreciate some of the various artistic renderings of all those familiar images. One thing's for sure, though--a scene-by-scene knowledge of the original film is necessary to make sense of this collaborative reimagining. Try to watch it first, and you'll probably have no idea what the hell's going on.

The term "reanimated" is a bit misleading, since much of the film consists of still images. Some resemble comic book panels, some hastily-drawn storyboards, and some merely sketches and scribbles. Occasionally you get some pretty nice work, much of which is done in the style of the old underground comics of the 60s and 70s or the earlier EC horror comics. There's a nice series of portraits of Barbra which are amateurish-looking but expressive, as she relates to Ben the story of what happened to her and Johnny in the cemetary. Her discovery of the music box brings another interesting series of images.

The segments that are actually animated are a real grab bag of wildly-uneven quality and tone. Some scenes resemble pre-"Goldeneye" videogame technology and are interesting in their own strange way. Others, such as Barbra first seeking shelter in the farmhouse and the final zombie attack, are done using claymation that is so crude it makes Art Clokey look like Ray Harryhausen. A long segment of Ben and Barbra boarding up the house looks like something out of a Bizarro "South Park" episode.

Sequences switch between digitally manipulated still drawings, animated stick figures, pictures with actual talking mouths superimposed "Clutch Cargo" style, and even abstract images consisting of moving shapes filled with writhing squiggles. (The latter segments, more than any others, necessitate a familiarity with the original film lest the viewer be totally lost.) The early scene of Barbra and Johnny's arrival in the cemetary uses actual actors who are animated a la Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" video. My least favorite moments are the ones in which actual footage from the original film is merely altered in some way.

With its emphasis on artistic expression and variety, NOTLD: REANIMATED sacrifices not only the original's narrative flow but often its grim attempts to scare us as well. This is especially true when one familiar fright sequence is rendered, believe it or not, in a cartoon style resembling "Ren and Stimpy" and "Itchy and Scratchy", with cats as the zombies and mice as the terrified humans. Several other contributions are aimed at being more amusing than scary, with sock puppets and even Muppets taking part in the carnage.

Even Barbie dolls get in on the action at times, particularly in the cellar scene with Harry and Helen Cooper. Watching these dolls being hand-manipulated in real time isn't all that interesting, although the miniature sets are nice. There is, however, one sublime moment--the famous "jump cut", which George Romero says he simply couldn't edit his way around, is faithfully reproduced.

The DVD from Wild Eye is in 1.33:1 full screen and runs 101 minutes including the introduction by horror host Count Gore De Vol. As with other Wild Eye DVDs I've seen, there are numerous special features. These include three commentary tracks, alternate and deleted scenes, some short horror films and comics, interviews with some of the film's main contributors, NOTLD coloring book contest entries, a look at the extensive NOTLD box art collection of Wild Eye's Rob Hauschild, and "Zombie Encounter", a lengthy panel discussion on zombie films with Hauschild, authors John Joseph Adams, Jonathan Maberry, and Dr. Kim Paffenroth, and other notables. Various other interesting tidbits round out the extras menu.

"Over 100 artists--over 100 styles" claims the liner notes on the DVD box, and you won't doubt it after being assaulted by this sometimes boring, yet curiously fascinating conglomeration of disparate images. You may not like it even after giving it a thoughtful second viewing as I did, but if you're a fan of George Romero's original classic, you owe it to yourself to take a stroll through the oddball cinematic art museum that is NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED. It's definitely a unique experience.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED -- DVD Review by Porfle

The "APOCALYPSE CULT" Prove their Devotion on DVD and VOD October 31

The "APOCALYPSE CULT" Prepares for a Halloween Sacrifice

Glenn Trigg's Horror Thriller Arrives on VOD and DVD

Available Nationwide from Wild Eye Releasing October 31st

New York, NY - Wild Eye Releasing is preparing for the end of days with the DVD and VOD release of Apocalypse Cult.  Glenn Triggs tracks an intrepid news team into the woods, where they stumble upon a bigger and more dangerous story than they ever expected. 

Jane Elizabeth Barry (A Night of Horror: Volume I), David Macrae (The Last Supper of the Damned), Tom McCathie ("Under the Milky Way") and Geoff Pinfield star in the thriller, which will be available nationwide on Halloween on DVD, Cable VOD and Digital HD, including Amazon Instant and Google Play.

While investigating the legend of a mysterious group of people living in the forest, a local news crew comes across an all-too-real doomsday cult.  Trapped in their grasp, the news crew must find a way to escape before they execute their final act of devotion.

Apocalypse Cult (Official Trailer)

Order Apocalypse Cult on Amazon

The "APOCALYPSE CULT" Prove their Devotion on DVD and VOD October 31

Death Comes for "THE BLESSED ONES" on DVD July 11th

"THE BLESSED ONES" Have Been Chosen for July 11th

Patrick O'Bell's Latest Thriller Comes to VOD and DVD

Available Nationwide from Wild Eye Releasing
   
New York, NY - Wild Eye Releasing has set The Blessed Ones free on a deadly flight across the desert. 

Writer-director Patrick O'Bell latest feature follows escaped followers of a maniacal cult leader who must survive the unforgiving terrain and the enforcers dispatched to bring them back by any means necessary for a Heaven's Gate-style suicide pact. 

Dave Vescio (Wolf Mother, Hell Ranch), Andy Gates (Garden Party Massacre, Niagra), and Tamzin Brown (The Adderall Diaries, The Institute) headline the thriller, which will be available nationwide July 11th on DVD and  Cable VOD.

Watch The Trailer


An isolated cult hiding in a desert enclave prepare for an prophesied apocalypse, led by a charismatic Jim Jones-like leader. As the end of the world allegedly approaches, he binds them all to a suicide pact, in hopes of transcending earth for a new life in paradise.

Two dissenters flee through the vast desert wasteland on the eve of the ceremony, hunted by the cult's enforcer - who will stop at nothing to insure that they keep their part of the bargain. 

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Death Comes for "THE BLESSED ONES" on DVD July 11th

Play a Terrifying Game with "HEIDI" on DVD and VOD April 11

Wild Eye Invites you to Play with "Heidi"

Daniel Ray's Award-Winning Horror Indie Comes Home

Available on DVD and Digital HD April 11th
   
New York, NY - Wild Eye Releasing has opened the toy chest and brought Daniel Ray's Heidi to DVD and Digital HD to punish all the bad children. 

Available nationwide on April 11th, Daniel Ray's first feature took home five awards at the Pollygrind Film Festival of Las Vegas, including Audience Choice for Best Feature Film.  Heidi stars Samuel Brian, Joei Fulco, Joey Bell, Eva Falana, Elizabeth Callahan and Michael Monteiro.
 

 

 

 After investigating a neighbor's attic, two high school pranksters are increasingly plagued by a series of disturbing, supernatural events involving a creepy, vintage doll named Heidi.  As she stalks them day and night, no one will take their claims seriously until it is too late.

Heidi (Official Trailer)


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Play a Terrifying Game with "HEIDI" on DVD and VOD April 11

Brad Dourif Leads "THE CONTROL GROUP" on iTunes and Digital HD Today -- DVD in May

The Control Group Begins Its Fiendish Experiments on VOD
Wild Eye Brings Thriller to Cable and Digital HD
DVD Release Planned for May
   
New York, NY - Wild Eye Releasing has announced the North American Cable and Digital HD release of Peter Hurd's The Control Group. 

Starring Brad Dourif (The Child's Play series, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Lord of the Rings) as a mad scientist, The Control Group follows kidnapped coeds as they attempt to escape from his grasp. 

Writer-director Peter Hurd's debut feature is now available on cable and digital platforms, including iTunes, Dish Network, Vudu, Xbox, Google Play, and YouTube.  A DVD release is planned for May.

 

 

 

 

 Five college students wake up in an abandoned, locked-down insane asylum - with no idea how they got there and no means of escape. They discover that they are the subjects of secret experiments, but these tests have awakened something that cannot be explained by science.

The group must now fight to escape both the human and supernatural threats if they are to survive and break out of their prison.

Order The Control Group on iTunes

WATCH THE TRAILER

Brad Dourif Leads "THE CONTROL GROUP" on iTunes and Digital HD Today -- DVD in May

"THE ABDUCTION OF JENNIFER GRAYSON" Escapes Onto DVD March 28th

The Abduction of Jennifer Grayson Grabs Audiences on Video
Debuts Nationwide on DVD March 28th
Available Now on Cable VOD and Digital HD
   
New York, NY - Wild Eye Releasing has announced the March 28th DVD release of The Abduction of Jennifer Grayson. 

Starring James Duval (Independence Day, Donnie Darko), WWE superstar Tommy Dreamer (WWE, ECW, Beyond the Mat), Nick Principle (Hatchet II, Laid To Rest) and Rachel Jane Conn (Model Hunger) as the titular victim, Jennifer Grayson centers on a conflicted young woman standing between justice and a pathological killer. 

Writer-director Corynn Egreczky's debut feature is currently available on cable and digital platforms, including DirecTV, FiOS, Dish, iTunes, Amazon Instant, Vudu and more.

Kidnapped after spurning a man's advances, a young woman slowly falls for the charms of her captor. He eventually sets her free, but is he the serial killer the police have been hunting for? Only Jennifer Grayson can help them stop him once and for all.


                           Watch the Trailer


Order The Abduction of Jennifer Grayson on Amazon

The DVD release of The Abduction of Jennifer Grayson (SRP $19.95) will exclusively include a feature-length commentary with writer-director Corynn Egreczky, music videos and trailers.

"THE ABDUCTION OF JENNIFER GRAYSON" Escapes Onto DVD March 28th