THUNDER ALLEY (1967) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/26/21

 

Currently watching: the 1967 follow-up to FIREBALL 500 and the last gasp of American-International's Frankie and/or Annette teen pictures, THUNDER ALLEY.

By now, Frankie Avalon has split to do his own thing, so Annette Funicello is left to carry this one with new leading man, teen idol Fabian (who played Frankie's rival in the previous film).

That's not all that has changed. This time, nearly all of the comedy has been scrapped along with any hint of farce, surrealism, cartoony characters, etc. in order to give us a straight-forward racing saga in which people have sex, get wildly drunk at parties where dancing girls strip their clothes off, and try to kill each other on the track, sometimes successfully.

 

As a change of pace, THUNDER ALLEY is actually pretty successful itself. Fabian is just the right choice to play famous driver Tommy Callahan, who has odd flashbacks during a race because of a childhood trauma and accidentally causes another driver's death. This makes him a pariah who is shunned by his peers and thrown out of professional racing.

Annette returns as Francie, a stunt driver working for her small-time entrepreneur dad Pete (Jan Murray) in his "Hell Drivers"-type auto show. When a desperate Tommy comes to Pete for work, he's forced to assume the name "Killer Callahan" to draw curious crowds.

Meanwhile, Tommy's girlfriend Annie (Diane McBain) doesn't like the relationship forming between Tommy and Francie, and neither does Francie's fellow stunt driver Eddie (Warren Berlinger in one of his better roles), who digs her.

 

But while all that romantic stuff is going on, we get to see plenty of real-life stock car racing action and fiery, metal-crunching carnage filmed at actual raceways and worked into the plot as Tommy fights to regain his former glory with the reckless Eddie as a dogged competitor.

To make things even more hairy,  a whole gang of bad guy racers led by hothead Leroy (Michael Bell) are out for his blood.  It all comes down to the big final race, which provides more than enough to delight fans of this kind of action.

Familiar faces dot the supporting cast, including Stanley Adams (Cyrano Jones in "Star Trek: The Trouble With Tribbles"), gorgeous and funny Maureen Arthur (HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING, THE LOVE GOD?), Kip King ("The Rifleman: The Dead-Eye Kid"), and some stalwart holdovers from the beach pictures (Sally Sachse, Mary Hughes). 

 

Replacing previous director and scripter William Asher ("Bewitched") are prolific TV writer Sy Salkowitz and director Richard Rush (HELLS ANGELS ON WHEELS), who would go on to direct such high-profile films as FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, THE STUNT MAN, and COLOR OF NIGHT.

Music is by Mike Curb, with just a couple of racing-related songs on the soundtrack and a single number by Annette (one of her better ones). Fabian, thank goodness, spares us his sub-par crooning but is more than adequate in the lead role. 

 

The borderline sleazy ad campaign for the film includes the tagline "Their god is speed! Their pleasure an 'anytime girl'!" so there's definitely a different audience being targeted this time. Or maybe the same audience, but a little older and looking for some stronger stuff.

Thinking that this late entry in the American-International teen genre would be a weak fizzle, I was surprised to find THUNDER ALLEY even more absorbing than its crash-em-up predecessor. It's by far the better film, thanks largely to director Richard Rush, and one of the most enjoyable films of its kind.

One of director Quentin Tarantino's many visual callbacks: his alternate title for DEATH PROOF (2007), which we see only for a split-second before being replaced by a crude "Death Proof" insert, is obviously inspired by the main title for THUNDER ALLEY.

THUNDER ALLEY (1967) -- Movie Review by Porfle

IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN -- Movie Review by Porfle

(Written for Bumscorner.com in 2005, this review was reposted here in 2011 in light of later events involving the film's writer-producer-director-star Joe Brooks.)


Joe Brooks has written some of the most successful and well-known commercial jingles of all time, including "You've got a lot to live, and Pepsi's got a lot to give" and many more that have probably been forever lodged in your memory over the years. At one point back in the 70s, he decided to try his hand as a songwriter-slash-Hollywood film auteur as well, resulting in the wildly successful YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE (both the song and the movie were huge hits).

Joe wrote, scored, produced, and directed the film, and actually won an Oscar and a Golden Globe for Best Original Song. With this remarkable debut under his belt, Joe set his sights even higher -- for his next trick, he would not only perform all the duties he had on his first film, but would star in it as well. And that, bad movie fans, is how IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN (1978) came to be.

This movie has to be seen to be believed. It fails miserably on every level. Fortunately, since Joe Brooks handled the production, direction, writing, music, and lead acting role himself, there are fewer people to blame for it.



As a romantic lead, he has about as much appeal as a potted plant. His leading lady, Shelley Hack, acts as though she were posing for the picture on front of a box of All Bran. The supporting players include, for some reason, authors Jimmy Breslin and George Plimpton, about whose acting the best thing that can be said is that they are good authors. It's pretty bad when the most professional acting performance in a movie is delivered by a little girl (Danielle Brisebois).

Joe plays a jingle writer named "Bob Morrison" who dreams of being a serious musician, even though all of his "serious" songs still sound like extended commercial jingles, and the classical piece he composes to show off his true talent later in the film would be better suited for a group of musical saw players than an actual orchestra. Watching his dramatic gestures as he conducts this ear-splitting opus in the recording studio, as the dazzled Shelley Hack grins at him like a stuffed loon, is one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever filmed.

If this movie is indeed as autobiographical as we suspect it is, then this scene must be the realization of one of Joe Brooks' fondest fantasies -- having the girl of his dreams gaze at him with naked, worshipful awe as he lurches about among the musicians, grandly flailing his arms as if to literally mold the wafting notes into an aural work of art. Unfortunately, this piece of music is so badly arranged that it could make even the London Symphony Orchestra sound like a high school band at a pep rally.

And then, of course, there's the romance. When "Bob Morrison" makes the trip from New York to L.A. to pursue his musical ambitions, he also decides to look up his old college girlfriend (Shelley Hack's "Jennifer Corly") for whom he still carries a torch. When they are reunited, their scenes together generate all the excitement of sitting in a dentist's waiting room with nothing to read but a year-old copy of "Field And Stream." Shelley Hack, who proved later on to be a pretty good actress in certain roles, seems here to be hovering in and out of a coma. But it would be difficult even for a great actress to pretend that she was falling back in love with Joe Brooks' incredibly bland character, especially with the brain-numbing dialogue she must recite.



Music-wise, Joe was obviously hoping for another big chart-topper like "You Light Up My Life", but its inexplicable success was not to be matched by the cringe-inducing dirge that is this film's theme song. I don't know who performed it, but he doesn't sing it as much as he suffers through it. He seems to be battling his way through a particularly intense bout of constipation as he strains to expel the stomach-churning lyrics, though I doubt if even Debby Boone could've made this song any more tolerable.

The same singer also gets to croak the other big tune in the movie, "California", which is Joe's musical tribute to the state of the same name, but after hearing it you might get the impression that California is the most horrible place on Earth. A more upbeat version performed by a group of singers accompanies a scene of Joe traveling by plane, and sure enough, it looks and sounds just like an airline commercial. We see the plane banking off over the sunlit clouds as the song informs us: "Caaa-lifornia! Wherever you may roam! Californiaaa...is caaaa-lling you hoooome!" You almost expect to see the TWA logo pop onto the screen.

When I saw this movie on HBO several years ago, I just had to have it. I still watch my old tape every so often just to gape in wide-eyed amazement at how truly awful a movie can be. As a bad-movie lover, I hold this perversely-entertaining cinematic messterpiece in high esteem -- it's the PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE of romantic movies. Still, you gotta hand it to Joe Brooks -- he decided he wanted to make movies in the worst way, and he sure enough went out and done it.

IF EVER I SEE YOU AGAIN -- Movie Review by Porfle

Don Sullivan's 3 Classic Songs In "GIANT GILA MONSTER" (1959) (video)

Everyone knows about Don Sullivan's classic "Mushroom Song."

But he also sings a snappy acapella love ballad...

...and a mystery single that rocks a teen dance hop.

Still, it's the undying classic "Mushroom Song" for which Don will always be remembered.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Don Sullivan's 3 Classic Songs In "GIANT GILA MONSTER" (1959) (video)

THE BEATLES: MADE ON MERSEYSIDE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/12/19

 

Writer-director Alan Byron (BILLY FURY: THE SOUND OF FURY, PUNK '76) opens his 2018 documentary THE BEATLES: MADE ON MERSEYSIDE (Film Classics) with the familiar strains of "Twist and Shout." But it's the Isley Brothers version we hear, not the Beatles' celebrated cover.

This is typical of the entire film, which features not one note of actual Beatles' music (much as the documentary JIMI HENDRIX: THE GUITAR HERO had no actual Hendrix songs save for a public domain version of "Hey, Joe") and not that many images or film clips. It's a bit like making a documentary about the Apollo space program and not including any footage of the first moon landing. 

What compensation there is consists of ample interview footage of people either directly or indirectly involved with the Beatles during their five-year rise from obscurity to stardom, including their tour manager, a business associate of Brian Epstein, Epstein's secretary, and Pete Best's brother.

Best of all (pun intended), the Beatles' initial drummer Pete Best is on hand to offer his quiet, thoughtful reminiscences from a very first-hand point of view, and it's his segments that are the most welcome ray of sunshine in the whole presentation.

What makes it most worth watching, in fact, is finding out at the end that he's enjoying a happy life, both personally and professionally, including ample compensation for "The Beatles Anthology" and a new band which makes terrific music (I've heard them--they're really good).

There are also a couple of original members of the Quarrymen giving us their equally first-hand accounts of what went down on and offstage when John, Paul, and the rest were whooping it up at the Kaiserkeller and Star Club in Hamburg or electrifying local Liverpool kids at the Cavern and Casbah clubs.

Mona Best herself turns up in old footage with son Pete, which is of interest.  And last but certainly not least, Cynthia Lennon appears briefly a few times to share her own intimately personal perspective.

Most of the other interviewees relate familiar stories while the few film clips of the Beatles are augmented by lots of B-roll footage of Liverpool and Hamburg and various locations where the Beatles lived or performed.

When we're told the old story of how young Paul and John acquired American rock and roll records from sailors down at the docks, we're shown a lengthy montage of freighters unloading their cargo at those docks.

Say they liked Elvis and we see a minute or two of Elvis performing; say they covered "Long Tall Sally" and we hear Little Richard singing it. Snatches of other songs later covered by the Beatles turn up in their original form as well.

The Beatles, it turns out, are in the periphery of their own documentary. There are some nice clips of Ringo near the end, talking about joining the band, being in the hospital, etc.  But again, no actual Beatle music.  The effect is ultimately a bit dull and, needless to say, disappointing.

The DVD from Film Movement is in 1.78:1 widescreen with 2.0 stereo sound. No subtitles or extras.

If THE BEATLES: MADE ON MERSEYSIDE were chosen to be enclosed in a time capsule, future archeologists would learn the usual pre-fame history of the group, and get brief samples of their images and speaking voices, but would have no idea what their legendary music sounded like.

THE BEATLES: MADE ON MERSEYSIDE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Elmer Bernstein's Early Sci-Fi/Horror Themes: "Robot Monster" and "Cat Women of the Moon" (1953) (video)

Before scoring such classics as THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, THE GREAT ESCAPE, and THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN...

...legendary film composer Elmer Bernstein supplied the music for the notorious turkeys ROBOT MONSTER and CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Elmer Bernstein's Early Sci-Fi/Horror Themes: "Robot Monster" and "Cat Women of the Moon" (1953) (video)

The Spoken Words That Caused A Sensation In "The Jazz Singer" (1927)(video)

 

When Warner Brothers made "The Jazz Singer" in 1927, it was a silent film like the others of its era.

Except that the songs performed by star Al Jolson would be done using their new Vitaphone sound process.

But it wasn't hearing the songs that astounded audiences at the time.
It was the spoken patter ad-libbed by Jolson between the songs. 

Later in the film, when Jolson's character entertains his adoring mother...
...his off-the-cuff remarks during the songs charmed and delighted viewers, making them want more. 

The first all-spoken film was yet to come. But because of Jolson's chatty ad-libs...

..."The Jazz Singer" is still often regarded as the first "talkie."

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

(Read our review of THE JAZZ SINGER)

The Spoken Words That Caused A Sensation In "The Jazz Singer" (1927)(video)

James Bond's "Man With The Golden Gun" Corkscrew Car Jump With NO Slide Whistle! (video)

 

 

The Roger Moore "James Bond" era played fast and loose with 007's serious image...

...even during some of its best and most impressive stunts.

A key example is the infamous corkscrew car jump from "The Man With The Golden Gun", which, although thrilling on its own, is ruined by a cartoony slide-whistle sound effect.

But what if, instead of that silly whistle, we got to hear the fabulous James Bond theme in all of its glory?

As we can see and hear in this video, it makes quite a difference.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for listening!

 

James Bond's "Man With The Golden Gun" Corkscrew Car Jump With NO Slide Whistle! (video)

The Day Corey Feldman Turned Into Michael Jackson, Part 2 (video)

 

Life is full of unexpected events.

For example, you never know exactly when Corey Feldman is going to turn into Michael Jackson.

But one thing's for sure...when he does, things happen.

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

The Day Corey Feldman Turned Into Michael Jackson, Part 2 (video)

The Day Corey Feldman Became Michael Jackson (video)

 

Well, you know the old expression:

There are days...and then there are days. 

Some are good, some are bad. Some make sense, and some just don't.

And then, inevitably, there comes the day...that Corey Feldman becomes Michael Jackson.  

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

The Day Corey Feldman Became Michael Jackson (video)

If Movies Rick-Rolled Their Audiences (video)

 

 

Sure, it happens online.

But what if it happened while you were watching a movie for the first time and it was just getting to the good part? 

Talk about a "popcorn-dropping moment."  

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

If Movies Rick-Rolled Their Audiences (video)

THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted 8/20/2018

 

When actor-turned-filmmaker Del Tenney made a deal to direct some drive-in fodder for the teen crowd, one of the all-time trash classics he fooled around and came up with was the delirious THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964).

Though made in the 60s, it contains surefire elements from the biggest teen hits of the 50s--rock and roll, monsters, hot rods, teen angst, and bad comedy--and mixes them with then-current stuff like bikini beach scenes and even a good deal of H. G. Lewis-style gore a la "Blood Feast."

Done in an amateurish yet freewheeling, dumb-fun style that packs in as much of the above elements as it will hold and, unlike many grade-Z flicks, doesn't let up for a minute, the result is a movie that's often funny, creepy, and refreshingly entertaining in spite of itself.

The very first minute of the film features drag racing and motorcycles--courtesy of an actual local bike gang--along with the first of six goofy rock and roll songs by the Del-Aires (in what was billed as "the first horror monster musical.")

We see Hank (John Scott) arguing with his girlfriend Tina (Marilyn Clarke) as they pull into the parking lot of the local beach, where Tina is intent on living it up while Hank insists they begin to act their age. The beach party sequence is real "poor man's" Frankie and Annette stuff, filmed in dreary black and white on a beach in Connecticut and interspersed with some of the worst comedy dialogue exchanges ever.

Meanwhile, fast-chick Tina goes nuts, bumping and grinding to "The Zombie Stomp" with a greasy-haired biker amidst the bikini-clad onlookers and prompting Hank to release his violent side as a big poorly-choreographed fight breaks out.

When Tina runs off into the ocean to escape Hank's disdain, she's attacked and ripped to pieces (and splattered liberally with Bosco chocolate syrup) by a horrific amphibian creature that has recently been created when some radioactive waste carelessly dumped into the water got mixed up with the sodden bodies of recently-drowned sailors.

These monsters (they grow in number with every scene) are real lulus of bad creature design, looking like poor relations of the Black Lagoon creature with ping-pong-ball eyes and what appear to be big bundles of hot dogs sticking out of their mouths.  But just the fact that such relatively elaborate costumes were made for this low-budget flick is impressive.

The rest of THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH becomes a series of monster attacks in the nearby small town with Dr. Gavin (Allan Laurel), his apprentice Hank, and his daughter Elaine (Alice Lyon), now Hank's prospective girlfriend after the untimely death of Tina, applying all their scientific skills to helping the local cops find a way to track down and destroy the creature menace.

This allows Tenney and company to stage a progression of delightful creature carnage sequences which include an all-girl slumber party massacre, three girls on their way to New York getting tragically sidetracked (the wisecracking blonde in this segment is actually quite funny), and a couple of drunks stumbling their way into the path of the monsters.  (One of the drunks is actor Wayne Tippit of "JFK" and "Nurse Betty", perhaps the only recognizable face in the film.) These scenes include not only lots of fake blood but some nicely-done gore makeup.

While all this is going on, we're treated to the high-jinx of Dr. Gavin's matronly black maid Eulabelle (Eulabelle Moore--yes, that was her real name) going around fretting "It's the voodoo, that's what it is!", and an increasingly ridiculous scientific investigation that results in the good guys hurling handfuls of sodium at the finny fiends.  (The resulting fish-fry pyrotechnics are pretty well done.)

The Severin Blu-ray itself is a 2k scan from the original negative and, needless to say, looks way, way better than I've ever seen it before. (And probably way more uncut, too.)

Severin, as usual, comes through with the bonus features as well, including archival footage of Del Tenney himself discussing his career in general and this film in particular.  "Return to Party Beach" is an informative retrospective documentary, while another featurette offers two of the Del-Aires with an interview and a live performance of "The Zombie Stomp."  In "Shock and Roll", filmaker Tim Sullivan discusses rock and roll horror movies.  The film's trailer is also included.

There are a lot of "so bad it's good" movies out there, with some of them being only passably entertaining with brief moments of fun amidst long stretches of boredom.  THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH, on the other hand, has a kind of magically bad quality that makes it total, almost giddy fun from start to finish.  This one's got everything and lots of it, and watching it makes me feel like a kid at the drive-in again.


Buy Blu-ray or DVD from Severin Films

THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

FEEL THE NOISE -- Movie Review by Porfle

 (NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2007.)

Rob Vega (Omarion Grandberry, YOU GOT SERVED) is a Harlem teen who dreams of being a big-time rapper. After financing his entry into a rap contest by stealing some rims off a local gangster who then tries to shoot him while he's onstage, his mom (Kellita Smith, THREE CAN PLAY THAT GAME, ROLL BOUNCE) ships him off to Puerto Rico to stay with the father he's never met until things cool off.

All of this occurs during the opening credits of FEEL THE NOISE (2007), which then becomes the story of how Rob meets his father, Roberto (Giancarlo Esposito), his stepmother Marivi (Rosa Arredondo), and his stepbrother Javi (Victor Rasuk), and how Rob and Javi combine their musical talents to create a hybrid of hiphop and Reggaeton (a combination of reggae and Latino rhythms) to produce a demo they hope will take them places.

Along the way Rob hooks up with a beautiful dance teacher named C.C. (Zulay Henao), who has her own artistic aspirations. When a sleazy record producer in a white leisure suit (James McCaffrey) comes on to C.C. with a request for "private" dance lessons, she introduces him to the guys and before long they're all on their way back to New York with the lure of a recording contract.

But not only do Mr. Record Producer's promises prove shaky at best, but Rob has to deal with the fact that there's still a P.O.'d gangster running around who wants to give him a one-gun salute.

The direction and cinematography by Alejandro Chomski and Zoran Popovic are as good as they need to be in a film that isn't trying to dazzle us with fancy imagery or camera moves, even in the strobe-lit club settings where another director might be tempted to show off.

Some nice Puerto Rican locations are an asset, as is footage shot during the Puerto Rican Day celebration in New York (in which co-producer Jennifer Lopez makes a fleeting parade appearance).

The songs are good but not particularly memorable, the best being the catchy centerpiece tune "Coqui" which was co-written by Wyclef Jean and features Reggaeton star Julio 'Voltio' Ramos, who plays himself in the film.

As for former B2K member Omarion, he isn't a great actor but he wisely underplays his part and comes off okay. Giancarlo Esposito (DO THE RIGHT THING and "Homicide: Life on the Street") as Rob's estranged father brings a quiet dignity to the role, while Rosa Arredondo, who recently played a small part in the brutal action flick ROCKAWAY, does a good job as Rob's caring stepmother.

Victor Rasuk and Zulay Henao as Javi and C.C. round out the ensemble with likable performances. And then, of course, there's Kellita Smith, who is one of the top contenders for my "MILF of the Year" Award for 2008. Thankfully, Albert Leon's script doesn't require any of them to emote their way through a bunch of artificially contrived situations.

Funny that in a movie called FEEL THE NOISE, the quiet moments are the best. The cast makes us care about their characters and the relationships between them. Their interplay is a lot more subtle and realistic than in most modern music movies, which often tend to be loud, flashy, and superficial. Here, the musical sequences serve the story, with no overproduced song-and-dance setpieces to compete for our attention save for a couple of forays into the club scene.

I guess the biggest debit of this movie is that it comes and goes without leaving much of an impression, failing to really follow through on what it's started. Subplots such as Rob helping an important neighborhood figure evade the police or Mimi's crazy ex-boyfriend Nodde (Charles Duckworth) declaring war on Rob and his family don't go anywhere.

Even the "Rocky goes the distance" ending fades out as soon as it has served its purpose to the story, leaving us to finally get to hear Rob and Javi's song in its entirety during the closing credits. While FEEL THE NOISE manages to engage the viewer to a certain extent during its running time, the dramatic and emotional potential of its various elements are never fully realized and the resolution is much too convenient. But it's a pleasant diversion that I enjoyed more than I thought I would.

FEEL THE NOISE -- Movie Review by Porfle

TCHAIKOVSKY: THE TRAGIC LIFE OF A MUSICAL GENIUS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/28/08

 

You can pretty much tell from the title TCHAIKOVSKY: THE TRAGIC LIFE OF A MUSICAL GENIUS (2007) whether or not you're going to be interested in this. If you don't like classical music, you'll doubtless want to steer clear. Me, I love it, and found this BBC production to be fairly interesting, especially the concert segments.

Originally broadcast in 2007, it examines the life and music of 19th century Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in two parts, each hosted by conductor Charles Hazlewood. First, "The Creation of Greatness" tells of the fragile boy genius troubled by all the music swirling incessantly through his mind. The loss of his mother at a young age is something from which he never recovers. Later, we see him as a tortured homosexual living in fear that public exposure of his scandalous secret will ruin his career, while at the same time he struggles to gain acceptance for his daring musical ideas in the face of stodgy skepticism.

Part two, "Fortune and Tragedy", tells of his disastrous marriage of convenience to young female admirer Antonina Milyukova, despite the warnings of his younger brother Modest and the knowing ridicule of his friends. We also learn of a mysterious benefactor, a wealthy widow named Nadezhda von Meck, who finances Tchaikovsky for years although their only communication is through the written word. Tchaikovsky's fame and the Russian people's reverence for him grow to stellar proportions, but shortly after the unsuccessful premiere of his magnificent Sixth Symphony, "The Pathetique", he dies of cholera at the age of 53.

While well-mounted and interesting, the dramatic reenactments of certain events in Tchaikovsky's life don't build much momentum as they are intercut with actual concert footage, interviews with concert musicians in whom the distinctively Russian spirit of Tchaikovsky still resides, and narrative interludes with Hazlewood. In fact, the emphasis here is on the music itself as much as the composer.

Watching his First Piano Concerto being performed by the Maryinsky Young Philharmonic with an amazing solo performance by Natasha Peremski is a particular thrill, and it's deftly integrated into the scene in which Tchaikovsky first auditions the piece before his scoffing mentor, Anton Rubinstein, who is shocked to hear such "vulgar" passion expressed in music. Interesting that something we take for granted for its familiarity was once considered, in Hazlewood's words, to be "radical, raw, and shocking."

"Romeo and Juliet", an erotically-charged work composed during an early love affair with a music academy student named Edward Zak, has become somewhat of a cliche these days after having been used for so many movies and spoofs as diverse as TARZAN THE APE MAN and A CHRISTMAS STORY, but its performance here is stirring. This is also true of excerpts from some of Tchaikovsky's ballets, such as SWAN LAKE and THE SLEEPING BEAUTY. Best of all, however, is the climactic performance of the tragic "Pathetique", which is one of the most moving works ever written.

If not for these dynamic musical passages, which the filmmakers obviously staged and photographed with great feeling, the production would be unremittingly dry and somber. The biographical scenes serve mainly to illustrate how the passion and turmoil of Tchaikovsky's personal life was the rich inspiration for his music, and more than anything, the dramatic segments are supportive of and serve as backdrops for the musical passages.

Included as a bonus is an episode of the BBC series "Omnibus" entitled "Who Killed Tchaikovsky?", which effectively challenges the cholera explanation for the composer's death with theories of suicide or even murder, and hints at a mysterious and potentially scandalous cover-up. Biographer Anthony Holden travels to New York and St. Petersburg to do some detective work, uncovering tantalizing bits of evidence amidst a general unwillingness of the Russian people to risk casting aspersions on their revered national composer. The mystery is left unsolved, but raises some intriguing and rather chilling implications.

TCHAIKOVSKY: THE TRAGIC LIFE OF A MUSICAL GENIUS is informative regarding the volatile emotions behind Tchaikovsky's work, and competently acted by THE PIANIST's Ed Stoppard and a good cast. But it's the concert segments that really make it worth watching.

 

TCHAIKOVSKY: THE TRAGIC LIFE OF A MUSICAL GENIUS -- DVD Review by Porfle

PAGANINI HORROR -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/24/19

 

If it were possible to actually O.D. on a combination of so-bad-it's-good Italian horror cinema and pure, undiluted 80s kitsch, then 1989's PAGANINI HORROR (Severin Films) from writer/director Luigi Cozzi (CONTAMINATION, STARCRASH) might be the fix that could kill us all.

You're really in for it once you start to mainline this heady concoction which begins, after a prologue in which a violin-playing little girl cutely electrocutes her mother in the bathtub, with a recording session by an all-girl trio in a recording studio belting out one of the worst 80s power ballads ever.

Lead singer Kate (Jasmine Main) is told by shrewish producer Lavinia (Maria Cristina Mastrangeli) that her music just ain't cutting the mustard anymore and she'd better find a new songwriter.

That's when Kate's drummer Daniel (Pascal Persiano) purchases a mysterious, unpublished work by famed violin virtuoso and composer Niccolò Paganini from a creepy fellow named Mr. Pickett (Donald Pleasance, PHENOMENA, HALLOWEEN, THE GREAT ESCAPE), who just might be Old Scratch himself.

Naturally, it's a cursed work that Paganini sold his soul for, although you'll wonder what the big deal is when Daniel plays it on the piano for the girls. They, on the other hand, go ga-ga for it and plans are made to shoot a horror-themed music video a la Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in a rented mansion owned by a woman named Sylvia (co-writer and Argento mainstay Daria Nicolodi) which is supposedly haunted by ol' Paganini himself.

This leads to the film's most disturbing sequence--namely, the filming of the aforementioned music video, consisting of cheesy horror visuals set to yet another bland but ear-curdling bad-80s screechfest. Here's where we get our first look at the spooky mansion, which is wonderfully tacky in a Halloween funhouse sort of way.

The film then wastes no time inundating our unfortunate cast of characters with all manner of infernal misfortunes, beginning with the bloody murder of the trio's lead guitarist by a masked killer wielding a knife-sprouting Stradivarius.  While searching for her, the others enter a room where a gaping hole erupts in the floor and sucks one of them into the dark pit below.

While the masked killer continues to stalk, director Cozzi gives us more of that sweet supernatural mayhem including an invisible force field around the estate that results in a fiery car crash and a horrific, fast-acting infection which turns another of the girls into a walking fungus.

None of this is especially elegant in execution, but it all comes so fast and furious and with such verve that we're too entertained to care. While lacking finesse, the cast throw themselves into their roles with abandon, often screaming their dialogue at each other with an amusingly overheated intensity. Cozzi is equally enthusiastic as his camera scurries around and hustles to keep up with the action.

A visibly amused Pleasance, who worked for three days on the production, adds his big-name presence a few times throughout the film, finally showing up for the predictable but fun twist ending.  Nicolodi (SUSPIRIA, DEEP RED, TENEBRE), always a welcome face in any Italian horror flick, adds her own venerable appeal.

  
Makeup effects are low-budget but effective.  While the gore isn't all that plentiful, there are some pretty splattery scenes including one particularly notable setpiece involving a sheet of plate glass turning someone's face into Picasso's worst nightmare.

Vince Tempera's Goblin-influenced electronic musical score (available on CD for a limited time along with the movie) lends yet another layer to the 80s ambience. The print itself has been transferred in 2K from the original negative. Disc extras consist of lengthy interviews with director Luigi Cozzi and actor Pietro Genuardi, deleted scenes and alternate ending, and the trailer.

With none of the film artistry and finesse of Dario Argento but loads of enthusiasm, PAGANINI HORROR is the cinematic equivalent of someone sawing away artlessly on a Stradivarius and then smashing it over your head.  Like a funhouse of stupid, it's the sort of screamfest where you have a great time watching it even if you aren't even sure why.


Buy it at Severin Films

Street date: October 29, 2019

Special Features:

    Play It Again Paganini: Interview with Director Luigi Cozzi
    The Devil’s Music: Interview with Actor Pietro Genuardi
    Deleted Scenes and Alternate Ending
    Trailer
    BONUS: CD Soundtrack

PAGANINI HORROR -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE ANGEL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON: LIVE AT THE UNION CHAPEL -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/1/09

 

"I had a dream that this guy was sentenced to death for attempting to commit suicide."

He has a beautiful voice, though it's rarely on key. His lyrics are often stunning and emotionally complex, though they don't always make sense. Each song is deceptively simple and touchingly heartfelt, yet on a technical level he'd probably get kicked out of a high school talent show.

No doubt about it, Daniel Johnston is one of the strangest musical stars of all time. Never heard of him? Just check out his new concert DVD, THE ANGEL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON: LIVE AT THE UNION CHAPEL, and get ready for something completely different. If you're a fan but, like me, have never seen one of his performances in its entirety, then this is your ticket to spend a little quality time in that cheerfully surreal dimension where Daniel lives.

If there was ever a self-made musician, this is the guy. As a kid, Daniel began recording himself singing his own songs of teenage angst and romantic yearning while banging out the music on a piano. Crashing an MTV taping in Austin in 1983 with a guitar and a handful of cassettes, he managed to get himself on TV and lay the groundwork for a growing cult following that would lead to concerts, a record contract, and a seemingly bright future. There was just one catch--Daniel was a severe manic depressive with a tenuous grasp on reality, and over the years his increasingly erratic and irrational behavior sabotaged any potential he had for breaking into the big time.

In my review of the brilliant documentary THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON, I described him as "a Syd Barrett who never gave up his music." These days he's an overweight, graying, middle-aged man who lives with his parents in Waller, Texas, but never stopped writing songs or dwelling upon his various muses. And after being discovered by some local musicians who were amazed to find the legendary Daniel Johnston living in their town, he found himself back onstage.

Recorded in July 2007 at London's beautiful Union Chapel, a spacious yet somehow intimate venue whose stained-glass atmosphere is a perfect setting for Daniel's often spiritual lyrics, the concert features over an hour of his best songs including some familiar oldies that sound better than ever.

With a jovial "Hi, everybody!", he begins by strapping on a guitar and performing "Mean Girls" while artlessly strumming the chords just like he did in the old days. "Mean girls give pleasure...it's my greatest treasure" he sings, still speaking for every awkward, lovestruck teenage boy who ever went down in flames.

Settling in behind a piano for the haunting "Love Enchanted", a song vaguely similar musically to "Hotel California" but with much more emotional resonance, Daniel holds the audience in rapt attention. The solo portion of the concert thus over, various musicians join him for the rest as he simply stands at the microphone and sings while reading his lyrics from a notebook, hands shaking. It can't be easy playing backup for Daniel because he doesn't always stick to the beat, but these guys are good at fitting the music to Daniel's style of singing.

The familiar "Some Things Last a Long Time" weaves a spell that continues through a series of quirky gems such as "Try to Love", "Speeding Motorcycle", "Walking the Cow", and his classic "Casper the Friendly Ghost", about a guy who had to die before anyone gave him any respect. His voice shifts constantly between caterwauling to high, Neil Young-type clarity and is often surprisingly poignant.

All in all, there are eighteen songs about life and love, brimming with vaguely Beatlesque melodies, from a cockeyed point of view that is sometimes disarmingly amusing and often strikes a deep chord with its honesty and perception.

As he sings, I can see flashes of that young kid that still lives inside him. As I once wrote about him, "it's as though the patron saint of guys who sing in front of the mirror took pity on him and made all his musical dreams come true (well, a lot of them, anyway), which is really an amazing sight to behold." Even now, he can't believe it himself--"Are you still with me?" he'll sometimes ask the audience between verses. And they always are.

Surrounded by a band and buoyed by the good spirits around him as the performance nears its end, Daniel's "Rock and Roll/EGA" progresses from a spare little tune into a rousing rocker with some impressive vocals. The beautiful "True Love Will Find You in the End" closes the show. As an encore, Daniel saunters back onstage and sings "Devil Town" all by himself, then waves goodbye to the crowd as they give him a standing ovation.

Director Antony Crofts provides a good no-frills record of the concert with some imaginative camerawork. The sound is available in both stereo and 5.1 surround. The bonus features include rehearsal footage of "Some Things Last a Long Time", plus two more solo songs from the concert, "There is a Sense of Humor Way Beyond Friendship" and "And I Love You So", that didn't make it into the final cut but are well worth having. There's also a post-concert interview with Daniel that finds him happily discussing, among other things, his obsession with The Beatles and his lifelong love for horror movies such as HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, Hammer films, and his favorite movie, KING KONG.

The way I see it, Daniel Johnston is a seemingly ordinary guy with an inner musical genius trying to get out, but he could never quite get all the way out. So his fans are gladly willing to meet him halfway in order to reap the rewards to be found in Daniel's songs and performances. When he eases into what I consider to be his theme song, "The Story of an Artist", he recalls his parents' long-ago admonition: "We don't really like what you do, we don't think anyone ever will." He says his family's still trying to figure him out. Good luck. I don't think anybody's ever really going to figure this guy out.

THE ANGEL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON: LIVE AT THE UNION CHAPEL -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON -- Movie Review by Porfle

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online in 2005.)


"It was my fate to become famous. And, uh...also to be damned."

That's just one of the enlightening statements made by the severely whacked-out title character in the kaleidescope of self-revelation that is writer-director Jeff Feuerzeig's THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON (2005). As a study of someone who leads an extraordinary life outside society's norms it's as fascinating a journey as FORREST GUMP, ZELIG, BEING THERE, LUST FOR LIFE, or any of a number of films about individuals whose mental "differences" are what make them great artists or noteworthy people.

But whereas those were fictional (or fictionalized) accounts, THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON is a documentary, and is all the more interesting because this guy is real. That's right, he's really out there somewhere. And I do mean "out there."

Which kinda makes me wonder about myself, because up until the point where Daniel starts exhibiting disturbing symptoms of manic depression, his life story is one I could strongly identify with. He grew up loving comics, cartooning, and music, and was the family jokester who always had his home movie camera whirring away.

But as time went by, it looked as though he would never learn just how to straighten up, buckle down, get a job, and begin to lead a more "well-rounded life" (his mother's phrase during one of her frequent harangues, one of many things Daniel recorded on his tape recorder over the years and an inspiration for an early home movie in which he portrays her as a crazed, rolling pin-wielding harpy).

Although art was a consuming passion, music began to dominate his interests, and he became a prolific songwriter who taped dozens of songs as he sat at the piano and banged out the accompaniment. He gradually imagined that he was actually recording albums on tape, for which he decorated the covers with his own cartoon characters.

Wow...so far, this is my life story, too, except my mom wasn't on my back all the time (although my dad griped at me for not getting a job and for having such a flaky, non-"Dukes Of Hazzard"-type sense of humor). Daniel was even more of a no-account college student than me--I was able to fake my way to graduation--and soon returned home, where the signs of his manic depression began to manifest themselves more and more overtly over time. (This is where our life stories begin to part company--I was never manic).

As his behavior became stranger, he was sent to live with his brother, who evicted him soon after. Then he lived with his sister for awhile before buying a moped and running off to join the carnival. One day a large, hostile carny knocked him senseless for taking too long in the port-o-potty, and Daniel wandered into the nearest Church Of Christ for help while the carnival left town. It sounds like I'm making this stuff up, but I'm not.

Anyway, he eventually ended up in Austin, Texas, where he conned his way into a taping of MTV's "The Cutting Edge", which was covering Austin's burgeoning music scene, and performed some of his songs for a national audience. He soon became a cult figure in Austin and word of his unusual talent began to spread even as his mental problems increased to the point where the people who had to deal with him on a daily basis began to have him committed to mental institutions. Somewhere along the line he started dropping acid, which was pretty much the genesis of his lifelong battle against Satan and the forces of evil.

If this were a SPINAL TAP-type mockumentary instead of one of the most entertaining and compelling documentaries I've ever seen, it couldn't be any more far out. Thanks to Daniel's overriding compulsion to tape-record his thoughts on a regular basis, we get to hear much of the story in his own voice at the time it was happening, which is augmented by dozens of his freaky cartoons that serve to illustrate his mental state at the time.

There are also interviews with many of his friends and associates, including Jeffrey Tartakov, the guy who tried to be his manager for several years and even got Elektra Records and Atlantic Records into a bidding war over him--while he was still in a mental institution--before Daniel fired him for no discernible reason. He finally signed a contract with Atlantic and released an album, "Fun", which sold 5,800 copies. (He was dropped less than two years later.)

His parents also provide many of their own bittersweet recollections and insights, including the time his father was flying him home after a triumphant appearance before thousands of fans in Austin and Daniel suddenly turned off the engine, took over the controls, and sent their small plane spiralling headlong toward earth. His father managed to get back into the pilot's seat and crash-land in a forest. Daniel, who thought he had just accomplished something marvelous, was proud of himself.

In addition to tape recordings and interviews, there is a lot of home movie and video footage to keep this from being anything but a talking-head movie. We get to see Daniel's ill-fated trip to New York to record with Sonic Youth. We see him performing passionately before admiring crowds from Austin to Stockholm, always with the same cracking voice and awkward guitar-strumming that somehow manages to captivate people. And we see him going farther and farther off the deep end, his delusional behavior always returning to sabotage everything that goes right in his life.

Daniel is now an overweight, gray-haired, middle-aged man who lives with his parents in Waller, Texas. He reminds me of a Syd Barrett who never gave up his music. In fact, after being discovered one day by a local rocker who was blown away to find the legendary Daniel Johnston living in his very own home town (he was being attacked by dogs while walking), Daniel is now the frontman for an honest-to-goodness rock group called Danny And The Nightmares.

As for Daniel's music--well, he still sounds to me like a guy singing and playing badly in front of his bedroom mirror and pretending to be performing for an admiring crowd. Which I, myself, might have done a time or two over the years. Only he isn't pretending--he's really doing it, and his songs display a cockeyed lyrical talent that is often surprisingly poignant.

It's as though the patron saint of guys who sing in front of the mirror took pity on him and made all his musical dreams come true (well, a lot of them, anyway), which is really an amazing sight to behold. Only Daniel would argue that it was Satan who granted him musical fame, which is why he is damned, which is why he spends so much time and effort preaching to whoever will listen and warning them to turn away from evil.

"Don't play cards with Satan, he'll deal you an awful hand," one of his songs tells us. But I don't think he's damned at all. Like a somewhat more benevolent Norman Bates, he just goes a little crazy sometimes.


Read our review of THE ANGEL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON: LIVE AT THE UNION CHAPEL

THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON -- Movie Review by Porfle

RICHARD SIMMONS: SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/2/17

 

I didn't grow up with Richard Simmons, but somehow it seems as though the eternally cheerful and preternaturally flamboyant fitness guru in the sparkly tank tops and short-shorts has always been around, exhorting his overweight followers to dance their way to weight loss and a happier, healthier body.

Apart from his "Deal-A-Meal" diet plan informercials and some raucous appearances on Letterman, Richard is best known for his "Sweatin' To The Oldies" tapes, now available on DVD.  All five of them, plus a bonus motivational program called "Love Yourself and Win: Six Steps to Personal Self-Esteem and Permanent Weight Loss", have been collected in Time-Life's 6-disc DVD set RICHARD SIMMONS: SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION.

Richard released his first "Sweatin' to the Oldies" VHS tape in 1988 and it became a big enough hit to warrant four sequels over the years, each featuring his trademark method of turning dance (to his favorite hit singles from the 50s and 60s) into fitness routines, with a different colorful theme for each entry in the series.

The first takes place (after a funny anti-piracy warning in which Richard has his own mother arrested) in a fantasy "High School Prom" setting where the ebullient fitness guru and about twenty of his chosen students of various body types go through ten routines set to non-stop song covers (a live band appears onstage).  The exercises are strenuous but fun, and hardly the kind of boot-camp workouts that some fitness DVDs inflict on the more hardcore viewer. 

Most of them consist of Richard's patented choreography that owes more to Broadway than anything else (he likes to envision his programs as song-and-dance theatrical presentations) with a healthy dose of period dance moves (the Twist, the Pony) mixed with shouts of "Egyptian Walk!" and "Hallelujah Hands!"

His back-up dancers are totally into it, being that most of them are students who themselves are losing or have lost considerable poundage doing this stuff.  Having gone through the same experiences himself, Richard's empathy for their feelings and desire to better their lives gives them a connection that's glowingly evident whenever we see them joyfully moving together to each catchy song. 

Production values are colorful and eye-pleasing, with very good camerawork, direction, and editing helping to make each series entry watchable not only for those participating but for passive viewers as well.  The cover bands are terrific--various individual members occasionally wander down off the stage to jam with Richard for awhile--making these DVDs pleasant background noise even when you don't feel like exercising. 

Mainly it's Richard's warm and engaging personality, along with the obvious care he has for his students and friends (which is clearly mutual), that set the "Sweatin' to the Oldies" series apart.  While he does occasionally engage in some of the cartoonish antics he's known for, most of the time we're seeing Richard just being his unique self within his very own comfort zone, which he shares with his deeply enthusiastic cast.  

Their joy is evident in the final dance line portion of each show in which individual students show off their moves while a graphic tells us how many pounds they've lost under Richard's tutelage.  Not only is this a fun way to wrap up each entry, but it also gives viewers yearning to shed some pounds themselves a little incentive.

Disc two takes place in "Pop's Diner", a disco-fied neon version of a 50s soda fountain.  Disc three has the most fun and inventive setting, "Sweatin Land Amusement Park", a brightly-colored fantasy backdrop with everything from a carousel to a mock ferris wheel.  Disc four is the "Saturday Sock Hop", and Disc five takes us "Downtown" with a Sesame Street-type city scene.  The live band is featured in all but the last one. 

Disc six is Richard's motivational presentation "Love Yourself and Win: Six Steps to Personal Self-Esteem and Permanent Weight Loss", which eschews the previous frivolity to get to the heart of the matter.  Here, his own history of being overweight and depressed gives him the empathy to connect to his listeners and help them find hope and optimism enough to improve their own lives. 

The first four discs contain numerous bonus features (approximately 100 minutes worth). The always-interesting Richard appears in several interview segments, as do some of his long-time students who give their testimonials and success stories both individually and as part of a roundtable reunion. Topping it off is a 20-page booklet packed with fun pics and a full list of the more than fifty songs heard in the collection.

I won't lie--I didn't exercise a bit while watching RICHARD SIMMONS: SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION.  But I enjoyed it anyway, and if I ever do make the commitment to start sweatin' off a few pounds, this is the first place I'll do the "Egyptian Walk" to. 


SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION
Type:  DVD/6 Discs
Running Time: 440 mins.
Rating:  N/A
Genre:  TV DVD
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 (4:3)
Audio:  Stereo

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RICHARD SIMMONS: SWEATIN' TO THE OLDIES: 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle