CARJACKED -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/10/11

 

Having just watched CARJACKED (2011), I must admit feeling a little confused.  I can't decide if the filmmakers were actually trying to make a serious thriller, or if they were aware that they were making one of the dumbest movies I've seen in quite a while.  Either way, it isn't much fun until it decides to go full-out goofy in the second half.

The story opens with divorced mom Lorraine (Maria Bello, THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, PAYBACK) attending a touchy-feely women's group therapy session.  Dumped by her husband Gary and facing a losing custody battle over their son Chad, Lorraine is too much of a simpy doormat to fight back or get angry about it as her brassy session mate Betty (Joanna Cassidy in an ultra-brief role) urges her to do.  When she relates how she earned the nickname "Klutzy" by accidentally shooting her dad's friend in the ass at the gun range, her counselor asks, "How did that make you feel?"  Yikes.

Already an emotional wreck, all she needs is for her and Chad to be carjacked by an escaped bank robber named Roy (Steven Dorff, BLADE, PUBLIC ENEMIES) on their way home, which of course is what happens.  Forced to drive Roy to a rendezvous 350 miles away, Lorraine somehow makes a connection with the chatty criminal and shares her feelings with him instead of being totally terrified like a normal person would.  Thus, we're not really all that scared for her and apart from a couple of halfhearted escape attempts, little suspense is generated by her ordeal.  At one point she even seems to consider running off to Mexico with Roy and his money.



Maria Bello, whom I've always considered a pretty good actress, is pretty awful as Lorraine.  Never convincing as a kidnap victim, she plays the role with a series of weird expressions and nervous tics, occasionally getting a comically peeved look when Roy says something threatening or offensive.  We expect Lorraine to eventually turn the tables on Roy, which will be just the thing to boost her confidence and assertiveness, but she's remarkably stupid--during an attempt to call 911 on her cellphone while in the bathroom, she gets 411 instead and can't understand why the operator keeps asking, "What city, please?" 

At first, Dorff plays Roy as the most patient and non-threatening carjacker in movie history, reducing his character's menace during the film's first half and even coming off as sympathetic while talking with Lorraine--for awhile there, it seemed this was going to turn into a road trip movie.  It's only later that we find he enjoys lulling his victims into a false sense of security before doing something horrible to them, as Lorraine discovers when they finally reach the rendezvous. 

At that point, it looked as though CARJACKED was finally going to turn into a tense thriller, but instead it seems to morph into a black comedy designed to have us thinking "WTF?"  In addition to some comical rednecks at a truckstop (the kind played by actors who have never actually seen a real one), we get a car chase that looks like something out of a Hal Needham movie followed by some highly improbable hijinks in a deserted warehouse.  With believability well and truly thrown out the window, all that remains is for the film to end with a wrap-up scene that seems to have been written under the influence of laughing gas.



John Bonito's direction is okay if somewhat self-indulgent at times, although that thing where the camera does those little zoopy zoom-ins on a character's face while they're driving doesn't even look good when Michael Bay and Paul W.S. Anderson do it.  Acting-wise, Dorff is okay while Cassidy isn't in the film long enough to make an impression.  Bello is hard to figure out--she seems aware that the film is going to turn into a semi-comedy in the second half, but since we don't know that, her performance seems curiously flaky throughout.  I kept thinking, "I hope she's in better form taking over Helen Mirren's role in PRIME SUSPECT."

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with English 5.1 and Spanish mono sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  The sole extra is a very brief behind-the-scenes short.

After a so-so start, the last twenty minutes or so of CARJACKED are so unexpectedly nutty that I actually began to enjoy it on that level.  But I still can't figure out if the filmmakers were trying to make a serious thriller and failed, or if they were just messing with my head the whole time.

CARJACKED -- DVD Review by Porfle

TENEBRE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 Originally posted on 5/8/08

 

I'm a Dario Argento fan but have yet to see all of his films. So it was a real treat to get the chance to watch TENEBRE (aka TENEBRAE), the Italian director's 1982 return to the giallo style after a detour into the supernatural (SUSPIRIA, his masterpiece, and its follow-up INFERNO). According to Wikipedia, "giallo" films are typically slasher-style whodunits characterized by "extended murder sequences featuring excessive bloodletting, stylish camerawork and unusual musical arrangements", which would make this a prime example of the genre.

Tony Franciosa plays Peter Neal, a murder mystery writer who's just arrived in Rome to promote his latest book, "Tenebrae", only to find that a serial-killing stalker is using his new novel as a template for ridding the world of sexual deviates and other undesirables. With the help of his secretary and budding love interest Anne (Argento collaborator and former spouse Daria Nicolodi) and eager young assistant Gianni (Christian Borromeo), Neal hopes to add a feather to his literary cap by solving the real-life murder mystery himself as bodies begin to pile up. The arrival in Rome of his spurned ex-lover Jane (Veronica Lario) and the presence of a television journalist named Berti (John Steiner) who appears to be a little too obsessed with Neal and his writings are just two of the many pieces in Argento's jumbled jigsaw puzzle.

One of the first things I noticed about TENEBRE is how bright it is. Much of it takes place in broad daylight, while the night scenes are often overly-lit. Argento has stated that he wanted the film to look hyper-realistic, with no shadows for either the victims or the killer to hide in. It's an interesting stylistic choice that Argento uses effectively. The often light-bleached visuals and pallid settings also allow him to emphasize certain elements such as a woman's fire-engine red pumps or the gouts of blood that liberally decorate several moments of terror.

Some of my favorite Argento touches are well-represented here, including: a haunting flashback, the details of which are only gradually revealed to us (not unlike Harmonica's recurring childhood memory in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, which Argento co-wrote); characters not picking up on an important visual or aural clue until it suddenly occurs to them after much reflection, as in the "three irises" scene from SUSPIRIA or the mysterious painting in DEEP RED; and several POV shots that disconcertingly put us in the killer's shoes as he (or she) is on the prowl.

As usual, Argento uses sound very effectively. In particular, he shares something in common with singer Nick Lowe--he loves the sound of breaking glass--so if you see a plate glass window in this movie, chances are it's going to shatter when you least expect it. Argento uses such devices to make his murder sequences even more nerve-wracking than they already are, usually after some very careful buildup and a few fake-outs to keep us off guard. And when the killer strikes, it's disturbingly violent. But unlike the standard slasher bore such as FRIDAY THE 13TH, Argento is more interested in the imaginative cinematic depiction of violence rather than simply racking up outlandish yet by-the-numbers body counts. When he does go for the gore, it shocks us, and it happens to characters that we care about and for reasons that keep the story moving.

Oh, and speaking of nerve-wracking, Argento managed to reunite three members of the disbanded rock group Goblin (Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Pignatelli, and Massimo Morante) to supply the original score. Unlike their music for SUSPIRIA, this has a synth-heavy, somewhat cheesy 80s sound that seems to be influenced at times by Giorgio Moroder's drum-machine disco rhythms. Other passages resemble their music for George Romero's DAWN OF THE DEAD. But it has that unmistakable Goblin sound, which somehow manages to compliment Argento's style even as it's turning your eardrums to mush.

Tony Franciosa is an old pro who did a lot of television while I was growing up, in addition to appearing in scores of fun films (a year after this, he got to do a steamy love scene with my favorite actress, Isabelle Mejias--the lucky dog--in the lively Canadian thriller JULIE DARLING). John Saxon, who plays Peter's literary agent, is, of course, always a welcome presence, and Veronica Lario is very effectively creepy as Jane. The rest of the cast is good, too--I especially liked Giuliano Gemma and Carola Stagnaro as a pair of homicide detectives--although in most cases the dubbing makes it hard to fully appreciate their performances. Daria Nicolodi does her usual fine job as well.

There are some really nice-looking women in lesser roles, adding considerably more sex appeal than you usually find in an Argento film. Ania Pieroni appears briefly as a lovely kleptomaniac who uses sex to beat a shoplifting rap but can't escape the fate awaiting her when she gets home. Lara Wendel plays a lesbian magazine writer whose promiscuous, half-naked housemate is the heart-stoppingly gorgeous Italian model Mirella Banti, in a sequence that allows Argento to indulge his stylistic impulses to their fullest.

Most interesting of all, perhaps, is the casting of Eva Robins as a woman who appears in several strange flashbacks to a traumatic event in the killer's youth. Born a male, Robins reportedly began to develop breasts and other female characteristics during puberty, to an extent that convinced her that nature intended her to live as a woman. At any rate, she's convincing enough as the "girl on the beach" in some of the film's strangest scenes.

The new DVD from Anchor Bay features an uncut, remastered widescreen (1:85:1) transfer enhanced for 16x9 televisions. Aside from the trailer and an Argento biography, there's a commentary track featuring the director along with composer Claudio Simonetti and journalist Loris Curci, which is as informative as you might expect although much time is spent waiting for Argento to figure out how to say everything in English--I kinda wished it could have been in Italian with English subtitles. "Voices of the Unsane" is a nifty 17-minute featurette with Argento, Nicolodi, Simonetti, and other principals discussing the making of the film. (UNSANE was the retitled, badly-edited version first shown in the US.) Other brief featurettes explore the creation of TENEBRE's sound effects and the filming of an intricate extended shot featured in one of the murder sequences. All in all, not a bad array of extras.

It's interesting to see Argento eschew the sumptuous, fairytale look of SUSPIRIA for a more stark and austere style here. Without the dark shadows and saturated colors, TENEBRE is like a blank canvas splattered with bright red, with a realism that's as brittle and sharp as all that broken glass. Only when the killer's identity is revealed at last in an axe and straight razor-slashed finale do we get a really dark, lightning-streaked scene, and it's horrifying enough to warrant the seemingly never-ending screams of the last person standing as TENEBRE fades out into its closing credits. And if you're a Dario Argento fan, you'll definitely want to be there when it happens.

TENEBRE -- DVD Review by Porfle

13 -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/28/11

 

In THE DEER HUNTER, a game of Russian Roulette proved so overwhelmingly intense that, as I sat watching it in the theater, I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to get through it.  Géla Babluani's 13 (2010) gives us an entire movie based on the game but manages only to be moderately entertaining without coming anywhere near that level of tension.

Sam Riley is Vince, an average young guy whose family--mom, dad, and two sisters--has hit rock bottom financially after the father is badly injured.  Stumbling across an illicit Russian Roulette tournament involving some very high-stakes betting, Vince manages to take the place of one of the entrants in hopes of surviving to solve his family' money problems.  Needless to say, this descent down the rabbit hole will be a nightmare with the spectre of sudden, violent death hovering over him every minute.

Riley gives a restrained but effective performance and makes his character easy to root for.  Vince is believably freaked out during the first round while quickly getting more hardened to the game out of necessity.  When he makes it to the final round, which we know he will since the opening flash-forward gives it away, he's still reluctant but his initial hesitance has been overcome by sheer desperation.



Technically, 13 is as good as it needs to be but no more, relying on the inherent fascination we derive from seeing a group of men standing in a circle, each with his gun pointed at the head of the man in front of him and then firing on command, with some surviving and others thudding clumsily to the floor.  With each round the stakes rise along with the number of bullets in each gun.

Even so, we never really get that caught up in the game itself, and it's the sketchily-drawn characters who provide the most interest.  As Jasper, Jason Statham is likable as usual even playing a rat who plucks his brother Ronald Lynn (Ray Winstone) out of a mental hospital to compete in the game.  Winstone is an imposing figure, even more so when Ronnie's meds start wearing off and he becomes increasingly hostile both to Vince and to Jasper for using him. 

Mickey Rourke is interesting to watch even when he's coasting through a role as he does here, playing a convict named Jefferson who's been whisked out of a Mexican prison and into the competition against his will.  Rapper 50 Cent plays Jefferson's handler, Jimmy.  Belgian actor Ronald Guttman, whom I recognized as one of the Russian defectors in THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, is Vince's sponsor in the game, and David Zayas of "Dexter" is a police detective trying to put an end to it. 

Film and TV veteran Ben Gazzara is a welcome presence as Schlondorff, sponsor to his own nerve-frazzled entrant.  In the small role of Vince's handler, Jack, Swedish actor Alexander Skarsgård manages to convey an unspoken sympathy for Vince that makes his character more tolerable.  Michael Shannon (airplane mechanic "Gooz" in PEARL HARBOR) plays the role of coldblooded game ringmaster Henry with particular relish, harshly barking out commands such as "Spin the cylinder!" and "Cock the hammer!"  Gaby Hoffman, who was little "Maisy" in UNCLE BUCK, is all grown up now and plays Vince's sister Clara in a brief role.



Ray Winstone's menacing character becomes the focal point in the game's final stages and gives 13 its most gripping scenes.  After the game, however, the film wanders down a pretty predictable path and finally comes to a stop after failing to find anything interesting to do with itself save for a mild attempt at some kind of irony.  Director Babluani and his co-scripter Gregory Pruss really needed to throw a few more ideas around before settling for this acutely unremarkable ending.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  There are no extras.

In other hands, 13 might've been a really riveting nailbiter.  As it is, it's a nifty little suspense yarn that doesn't quite make you feel like you've gotten your money's worth when it's over.

13 -- DVD Review by Porfle

12 DISASTERS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/7/14

 

If one disaster makes for an exciting movie, then twelve of them would be twelve times more exciting, right?  Well...we're talking about the SyFy Channel here, and 12 DISASTERS (2012) is just the same old story they've been rehashing for years only with some slightly different but equally rinky-dink CGI.

Ed Quinn (BEHEMOTH) heads a cast dotted with several SyFy vets as rugged family man Joseph, whose 18-year-old daughter Jacey (Magda Apanowicz, SNOWMAGEDDON) turns out to be the "chosen one" in a long line of mystical women going all the way back to the Mayans.  She's the one who will have to stop the ancient Mayan prediction of the end of the world on 12/21/2012, as foretold in--brace yourselves--the Christmas carol "The 12 Days of Christmas." (The film's original title, as you might guess, was "The 12 Disasters of Christmas.")

You're probably singing that to yourself right now but it won't really help until you get to the part about the "five gold rings", which Jacey and her dad must locate and which are buried (for some damn reason I couldn't figure out) in secret locations all around their remote, rustic town (the usual Canadian location subbing for the U.S. Northwest).  Only with all five rings can Jacey ward off the impending twelve disasters which will destroy the earth.

We never really understand what the rest of the world has to fear since the disasters only affect their own small town, and most of them don't even qualify as "disasters."  There's a bad-CGI tornado, a mild earthquake, and some pretty cool giant ice shards that rain down out of the sky and skewer a few citizens (including Joseph's mom).

At one point, a crack in the earth releases some red gas that disintegrates a few bad guys who are under the impression that they can save themselves by sacrificing Jacey by fire (including the typical evil industrialist played by Roark Critchlow of EARTH'S FINAL HOURS). 

Another fissure in the earth's crust releases a sort of heat force-field that fries anything that tries to pass through it,  including some really poorly-rendered rescue helicopters.   The most interesting "disaster", for me anyway, is a rapidly-spreading cold wave that flash-freezes everything in its path, but we only get to see a few selected townspeople get turned into ice statues.  This is mainly due to the fact that these scenes don't feature a whole lot of extras.

Probably the dumbest-looking of the various deadly perils is a string of out-of-control Christmas lights that wrap themselves around a hapless victims and zap him to death in what might be Clark Griswold's worst nightmare.

The final and supposedly deadliest disaster occurs, as it so often does in these flicks, up in the mountains, where some meager volcanic effects billow and spew as Jacey and her dad scramble to locate the last ring.

Their quest to do so gets decidedly tiresome in the film's second half, as Critchlow's character menaces them while his cowardly cohort Jude (Andrew Airlie, APOLLO 18, "Defying Gravity") holds Joseph's wife Mary (Holly Elissa, ICE QUAKE) and son Peter (Ryan Grantham,  ICE QUAKE) hostage. (But at least you can pass the time picking out all of the script's obvious Biblical references.)

Director Steven R. Monroe of 2010's I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE and its sequel (as well as 2006's LEFT IN DARKNESS) turns in a passable but rushed job of bringing the screenplay by writer Rudy Thauberger (SNOWMAGEDDON) to a semblance of life.  Performances range from okay to not-so-great, with Magda Apanowicz as Jacey managing to work up the most convincing displays of emotion.

As Grant, an old codger who tries in vain to warn everyone of the impending doom, is veteran actor Donnelly Rhodes, whose mile-long list of credits includes playing the gambler who accuses Robert Redford of cheating in the opening minutes of BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  No extras.

If you catch 12 DISASTERS in the right mood, you'll probably get some "bad-movie" enjoyment out of it.  At any rate, most of us pretty much know just what to expect from these SyFy Channel "end-of-the-world" flicks and whether or not we want to waste precious moments of our lives watching them.

12 DISASTERS -- DVD Review by Porfle

MISERY (Blu-Ray) -- DVD Review by Porfle

(Blu-Ray comments by Ian Friedman. Originally posted on 10/5/09.)


If you're a fan of Stephen King's books, you know that one of his favorite schticks is the "predicament" story. They're usually pretty simple and focus mainly on one character, with whom we identify, who is placed into a seemingly inescapable situation that will require ingenuity, endurance, and lots of suffering in order to come out of it alive. In "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon", a little girl is lost in the woods and must survive on her own for several days. In "Gerald's Game", a woman is handcuffed to a bed by her kinky boyfriend, who then dies of a heart attack and leaves her helpless. Stephen's game, it would seem, is to come up with these challenging premises which he must then write his way out of.

Rob Reiner's impeccably-filmed 1990 horror thriller MISERY, based on King's novel of the same name, places James Caan's "Paul Sheldon" into a doozy of a predicament--after crashing his car during a blizzard, he wakes up in bed in the secluded home of widowed nurse Annie Wilkes, his legs and right arm mangled.

Paul, author of a series of wildly-successful romance novels about a heroine named "Misery Chastain", is told by the sweet and attentive Annie that she is his number one fan. But when she finds out that he's killed "Misery" off in his latest novel, Annie goes off the deep end and her violent and dangerously insane side comes to the fore. Thus, Paul is helpless and at the mercy of a lunatic from whom there seems to be no escape.

Caan gives one of his best performances as a rational man who is suddenly thrust into a twisted, nightmarish ordeal of dehumanizing abuse and utter lunacy. He's very believable in the role and his expressions of guarded concern, growing alarm, and finally terror, outrage, and agony are some of the most realistic and expressive acting he's ever done.

Kathy Bates, of course, is just incredible as Annie Wilkes, every bit as much of a genuine movie monster as Mr. Hyde or the Phantom of the Opera. Clearly based in part on Genene Jones, the infamous "Texas Baby Murderer", Annie is a big woman with a big mental problem, and Bates plays the role to the hilt. Still, so powerful is her presence that she never needs to go over the top, which makes her character all the more unnervingly effective.

The direction by Rob Reiner is deviously clever. I don't think I've ever used the word "Hitchcockian" before, but I think it would apply here. Reiner seems to be having a ball shooting all sorts of different shots of walking feet, shadows under doors, etc. and editing them together to build little vignettes of mounting suspense. While Paul is creeping around the house in his wheelchair or doing something he's not supposed to be doing, we know that Annie could appear at any moment and inflict terrible punishment. Buster, the local sheriff (Richard Farnsworth), investigates Annie's house in a scene that recalls the queasy unease of Vera Miles' search of the Bates home in PSYCHO.


Annie's every tiny mood swing or irrational suspicion can bring new terror, until we're jittery with dread whenever she's onscreen. Her solution for Paul's attempts to escape captivity, while not quite as extreme as in King's novel, is still not for the squeamish. The final confrontation between the two, which could've turned out ludicrous in lesser hands, is handled extremely well.

The new Blu-Ray 2-disc set (BD/DVD) from 20th-Century Fox is 1.85:1 with English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 and Spanish and French Dolby Digital 5.1, and offers subtitles in all three languages. The Blu-Ray image looks pretty good. There is actually some print damage, which is a bit surprising--not too much, but that there is any is a bit strange. The picture is a little soft, but still offers a good amount of detail.

MISERY takes its time establishing the situation and characters and then building an aura of suspense that can at any moment erupt into nerve-wracking terror. It's a great example of how a movie can put the viewer through the proverbial wringer without the need for graphic violence and cheap shocks.

MISERY (Blu-Ray) -- DVD Review by Porfle

ONE STEP BEYOND: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 9/15/09

 

 

Two wonderfully strange television series premiered in 1959. One was Rod Serling's "The Twilight Zone", an anthology that placed normal people into fantastic circumstances that usually involved some kind of ironic twist. The other, which arrived ten months earlier, was also an anthology, and its characters also found themselves in weird situations that were often tinged with irony. 

 

But unlike "Twilight Zone", which was brimming with fanciful situations, imaginary creatures, and science-fiction elements, "One Step Beyond" drew its inspiration from actual accounts of the supernatural which were claimed by the host, John Newland, to be true. 

 

Eschewing the pure fantasy elements of Serling's show, one of the strengths of "One Step Beyond" was the feeling it instilled in the viewer that they were watching something that not only could happen, but could happen to them. Newland constantly reminds us of this in his framing narrations throughout the 22 episodes found in the 3-DVD set, ONE STEP BEYOND: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON. His dignified, rational demeanor lends additional credence to the incredible stories of supernatural phenomena which he relates with such calm conviction and wry confidence. 

 

These tales run the gamut from ghost stories to psychic phenomena and all manner of unexplained occurrences in between. Some, such as "Twelve Hours to Live", stretch their premises a bit thin and don't offer much in the way of surprise or suspense. We know that when Will Jansen (Paul Richards) is trapped in his wrecked car on a deserted construction site and begins crying for help that his wife Carol (Jean Allison) will somehow sense his peril and come to the rescue. The trouble is, it takes her half an hour to do so and the situation gets tiresome pretty quick. 

 

"Echo", with Ross Martin as a man just acquitted of his wife's murder who foresees his own death in a mirror, not only doesn't go anywhere but it doesn't really make much sense, either. Another story whose twist is telegraphed long in advance and then takes forever to arrive is "The Aerialist", with Mike Connors ("Mannix") as a trapeze artist driven suicidal with guilt after he drops his father during the family's act. Still, the young Connors is interesting in the role, and the fact that his faithless wife is portrayed by schlock-film goddess Yvette Vickers is a definite plus. 

 

 

Any quibbles I might have are minor in comparison to the wealth of entertainment value contained in this set. The premiere episode, "The Bride Possessed", gets things off to a chilling start with the great Skip Homeier as a newlywed whose bayou-born wife (Virginia Leith, a fine actress best known as "Jan in a pan" from THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE) suddenly starts speaking in an unfamiliar voice and acting like an entirely different person. Skip soon discovers that she's been possessed by the ghost of a woman whose unsolved murder was ruled a suicide. 

 

"Emergency Only" is of interest since it features Marlon Brando's sister Jocelyn as a psychic who warns a skeptical man of the impending disaster that he'll encounter should he board a particular train. In "Epilogue", recovering alcoholic Charles Aidman awakens to find his estranged wife Julie Adams (CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON) frantically beckoning him to the site of a mine cave-in which has trapped their young son--and in which she herself was buried beneath tons of rock. 

 

"Premonition" is the strange tale of a budding ballet dancer (soulful child actress Beverly Washburn) who adamantly refuses to enter a room after foreseeing her own death beneath a falling chandelier.

Something about this show--whether it was John Newland's assured direction (he helmed all 22 first season episodes and many more), the well-written scripts, or the scintillating subject matter--seemed to inspire several of the guest stars to deliver outstanding performances. 

 

In "The Devil's Laughter", familiar character actor Alfred Ryder is fascinating to watch as a condemned man who must be released after numerous attempts to hang him result in inexplicable failure. (Lester Mathews of WEREWOLF OF LONDON co-stars.) Genre sweetheart Luana Anders is marvelously effective in "The Burning Girl", in which she plays a firestarter whose fits of fear and anxiety prove dangerously combustible. "Get Smart" star Edward Platt plays her father. 

 

"The Vision", about a group of WWI soldiers court-martialed for throwing down their weapons after witnessing a heavenly apparition, boasts a strong ensemble cast including Pernell Roberts (sans toupee'), Bruce Gordon, H.M. Wynant, and Richard Devon. Maria Palmer is heartrending as a lonely wife who finally finds a little romance and affection from a man who isn't there (via a Ouija board) in "The Secret." And Patrick Macnee, not yet one of "The Avengers", is a man whose new wife (Barbara Lord) is having terrible nightmares about their upcoming honeymoon cruise on the grand new luxury liner Titanic in "Night of April 14th." 

 

The best episodes combine moving human drama with situations that are truly unsettling and sometimes downright creepy. One of my favorites is "The Dead Part of the House", featuring another fine ensemble cast. Philip Abbott is a grieving widower moving into a large old house with his sister Joanne Linville (the Romulan commander in the Star Trek episode "The Enterprise Incident") and his young daughter whom he has woefully neglected in his grief. Played by charming child actress Mimi Gibson, the little girl soon discovers that one of the upstairs bedrooms is still occupied by three previous tenants who become her playmates. The only thing wrong with this is--they're dead. Philip Ahn of "Kung Fu" also stars as their wise servant, Song. 

 

 

More eerie encounters with the restless dead include "The Haunted U-Boat", with Werner Klemperer ("Hogan's Heroes") as an unwilling passenger on a German sub that's bedeviled by an unknown entity pounding on the hull to be let in. "Image of Death" is the story of a husband who murders his wife with the help of his lover, only to find that a strange stain on the wall is beginning to resemble the screaming countenance of his dead wife. And "The Navigator" is a seafaring ghost story with Don Dubbins and Robert Ellenstein as a First Mate and Captain whose vessel is steered off-course by a stowaway (Olan Soule) whose body later turns up among the wreckage of a ship that lies along their altered course. 

 

Some of the other notable faces that turn up during the course of the season are Walter Burke (getting to play something besides a leprechaun for a change), Cloris Leachman, Ben Cooper, Sandy Kenyon, Ann Codee (THE MUMMY'S CURSE), Douglas Kennedy, William Schallert, a dark-haired Patrick O'Neal, Reginald Owen, Skip Young, BLADE RUNNER screenwriter Hampton Fancher, Wesley Lau, Doris Dowling, Percy Helton, Sandra Knight, Warren Stevens, Barry Atwater, Jon Lormer, and Robert Webber. 

 

The image quality is very good (in beautiful black-and-white) except for some occasional rough patches. Aspect ratio is 4.3 full-screen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound. Extras include an extended version of pilot episode "The Bride Possessed", a TV promo, the original Alcoa Aluminum opening, and the cheesy 1990s version of the main titles sequence seen on the Sci-Fi Channel. There's also a brief audio interview with writer Don Mankiewicz, whose account of scripting the episode "Epilogue" casts some doubt on the veracity of these stories--according to him, the producers had temporary dibs on a standing mine tunnel set, and needed him to whip up a story to go along with it! 

 

Rather than wielding a sledgehammer of shock and sensation, ONE STEP BEYOND: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON is filled with the kind of spine-tingling campfire tales that get under your skin and make it crawl. So the next time you're in a spooky mood, this is just the thing for some late-night viewing with the lights off.

ONE STEP BEYOND: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE KILLING JAR -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/19/11

 

Stay away from out-of-the-way diners after dark, THE KILLING JAR (2010) seems to be telling us, since you never know what kind of desperate character may come walking in.  And if he looks like Michael Madsen, you know you should've skipped the pecan pie and skedaddled five minutes ago.

This tense thriller by writer-director Mark Young (SOUTHERN GOTHIC) is one of those single-location movies that could easily be performed as a stage play, which means that the focus is on character and dialogue.  Neither are very deep here, but they get the job done pretty well, mainly due to a capable cast. 

Amber Benson (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER) plays weary waitress Noreen, who dreams of getting out of Silver Lake (where the tourists don't go anymore since the lake dried up) but works in a dingy diner for ill-tempered cook Jimmy (Danny "MACHETE" Trejo).  It's almost closing time on a hot night when news comes over the radio of four grisly murders not far away, with the ill-fated family's killer still at large. 

A likely suspect enters as Noreen is chatting with a mild-mannered traveling salesman named John Dixon (Harold Perrineau, "Link" of MATRIX: RELOADED and REVOLUTIONS) on his way through town.  The stranger is foulmouthed and surly, prompting local deputy Lonnie (Lew Temple, THE DEVIL'S REJECTS) to start Barney Fife-ing him.  This proves to be a bad move, and before long "Doe" is threatening his seven terrified captives with a pump shotgun and getting crazier by the minute.



Michael Madsen does a lot of glorified cameo roles these days, so it's good to see him sink his teeth into a part that's not all that different from the kill-crazy Mr. Blonde of RESERVOIR DOGS, only without the mordant sense of humor.  His "Doe" is scary dangerous in a wary, calculated way and when he goes off and gets violent, the character is coldblooded and unpredictable. 

Young, whose direction is efficient without drawing attention to itself, throws a few curves at us to keep the story moving.  These include the arrival of Mr. Greene (Jake Busey), a shady businessman who's there to meet a Mr. Smith, whom he's never seen before.  Is it Doe, or is Mr. Smith someone else in the diner?  It might even be trucker Hank (the always-fine Kevin Gage of HEAT and LAID TO REST). 

Young builds a fair amount of suspense as Doe singles out his captives one at a time to terrorize and interrogate them, and people do get killed badly.  Still, much of the drama is psychological, so don't expect a gorefest--aside from a couple of grisly shots here and there, you'll have to use your DVD players' frame-advance to see an exploding head or two.  While none of this is unbearably nailbiting and the major plot twists are fairly predictable, the finale is nicely played and ends the movie on a satisfying note.



The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound.  A trailer is the sole extra.

THE KILLING JAR probably won't sear itself into your movie memory banks or have you swooning in cinematic ecstasy, but it's a solid little suspense thriller with some good performances and an absorbing story.  Best of all, it's a chance to see an aging Mr. Blonde at the end of his rope, going mental and getting trigger-happy one last time.  

THE KILLING JAR -- DVD Review by Porfle

EATEN ALIVE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 2/10/18

 

Director Umberto Lenzi's gut-munching follow-up to his 1972 cannibal flick THE MAN FROM THE DEEP RIVER, 1980's EATEN ALIVE (Severin Films) is a deliriously deranged jungle tale in which a Jonestown-like religious cult in New Guinea is constantly menaced by a surrounding tribe of ever-famished cannibals.

One woman seduced into the cult, Diana Morris (Paola Senatore), is being tracked down by her concerned sister Sheila (Janet Agren, RED SONJA) with the help of tough guy Mark Butler (Robert Kerman, CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST, THE CONCORDE: AIRPORT '79, Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN), a Viet Nam deserter picking up extra dough working as a mercenary.

Thus, we go from a New York setting (where familiar actor Mel Ferrer appears briefly as an expert in primitive cultures) to the savage heart of the jungle where Sheila and Mark barely escape being devoured on their way to finding the secluded compound of charismatic cult leader Jonas (Ivan Rassimov, PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES).  Here, they discover Diana still alive but brainwashed by drugs and mental programming.

What follows is the usual "infiltrating the religious cult" stuff as the good guys plan their escape, which will mean evading both Jonas' henchmen and hordes of hungry savages.  But with Umberto Lenzi at the helm this will also involve softcore sex (mostly of the rapey and/or weird ritualistic variety), lots of gratuitous nudity, and, as is typical of this genre, some rather stomach-churning scenes of actual animal slaughter.

The latter includes the disemboweling of a large iguana after which its entrails are eaten (ditto for several snakes and small alligator as well). This is especially disturbing considering that the extras in these scenes seem to have been hired through a classified ad for carnival geeks.  Another unwelcome sight occurs when a small monkey gets sucked down headfirst by a python. 

On the cannibal front, the scenes of people getting chowed down on are a real treat for those who didn't think BLOOD FEAST went anywhere near far enough.  The effects are pretty decent and at times quite convincing. 

None of this has much to do with the story, but Lenzi seems to enjoy cutting away to such culinary exploits now and then to keep us entertained.  Arms, legs, entrails, and even sexual organs comprise the gory feasts as the film more than earns its title.

Meanwhile, we follow the progress of Sheila and her sister as Mark tries to get them out of Jonas' compound and into the jungle.  It's a case of "out of the frying pan and into the fire" when the religious zealots and the cannibals converge on them from both sides. 

The result is a frenzy of wildly improbable nonsense that's both eventful and, in its own way, quite engaging.  To top it off, Lenzi stages his own version of the real-life end of the Jonestown colony, with Rassimov's screwloose religious guru presiding over it with suitably wild-eyed fanaticism.

After a final blood-soaked atrocity or two, we end up back in New York for more Mel Ferrer (i.e., getting your money's worth out of the film's one big-name actor) and a twist ending that's oddly inconclusive.

Lovely blonde Swedish actress Janet Agren is winsome as Sheila, as is the darkly brunette Paola Senatore as her sister Diana, and those interested will delight in their numerous nude scenes.  It's hard to rate their performances, though, since everyone's badly dubbed (all dialogue is delivered in English and dubbed into English, Spanish, and Italian) and their characters in particular are saddled with some of the most cringeworthy "Southern" accents of all time.

Coming off better in that area is Robert Kerman's passable bad-boy mercenary act (sort of a poor man's Han Solo) and cannibal-film queen Me Me Lai as Mowara, a native girl who risks her life to help. 

Kerman may be familiar to some for his frequent appearances in vintage porn films such as DEBBIE DOES DALLAS and THE SATISFIERS OF ALPHA BLUE under the name R. Bolla.  His acting skills gained him parts in many adult features in which such talent was actually required. 

Umberto Lenzi's skills as a director are rather artless, yet workmanlike and briskly efficient.  The film itself looks and sounds quite good for a low-budget effort of this nature.  Location shooting in both New York and Sri Lanka add much to the production values.  

The screenplay is a hoot and dotted with several priceless lines, as when Jonas describes the cannibals to Mark: "Their idea of lunch is hot, fresh entrails soaked in blood.  But we keep their proteins limited."

The Blu-ray from Severin Films looks and sounds great for a film like this, and the disc's bonus menu is customarily stocked.  "Welcome to the Jungle" is an interview with Umberto Lenzi, followed by a feature-length tribute to the queen of cannibal movies, Me Me Lai.  There's an interview with production designer Antonello Geleng, and then a very entertaining dual interview with Ivan Rassimov ("Jonas") and Robert Kerman ("Mark"). Rounding off the menu is a 2013 Q & A with Lenzi from the UK Festival of Fantastic Films, and a trailer.  The Blu-ray's cover art is reversible (see below).

To assess a film such as EATEN ALIVE one must take into consideration the fact that some will regard it with utter delight while others will find it incomprehensibly appalling.  Those in the latter camp are advised to steer clear--waaaay clear--while the former should consider this review to be a hearty recommendation. 


Pre-order it at Severin Films

Available February 20, 2018


Reversible cover art:

EATEN ALIVE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

HALT AND CATCH FIRE: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/23/15

  

You don't have to be a computer whiz to appreciate "Halt and Catch Fire", the AMC series about an upstart electronics company in Dallas, Texas taking on monolithic IBM in a race to come up with the first portable personal computer. In fact, even the most borderline "tech savvy" viewer such as myself can find plenty here to be entertained by even as the geek-speak flies right over our heads.

Set in the early 80s (with RETURN OF THE JEDI still in its first theatrical run) Anchor Bay's HALT AND CATCH FIRE: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON captures the furiously competitive world of the burgeoning PC industry with ample amounts of drama and suspense. In this fictionalized account of real-life events, Cardiff Electronics boss John Bosworth (Toby Huss, JERRY MAGUIRE, COWBOYS & ALIENS) makes a fateful decision when he hires the brash and manically driven Joe McMillan (Lee Pace, THE RESIDENT, THE HOBBIT), an ex-IBM exec, as his head of product development.

Joe causes chaos by weeding out the less imaginative employees and channeling ever-increasing resources into building a faster, cheaper PC, one which weighs less than fifteen pounds and can be carried in a briefcase. Much of the show's watchability comes from seeing him plunge recklessly forward through any personal, professional, or financial crisis as though his life depended on it, with an almost sociopathic singlemindedness. Hints of his past, including an unfortunate childhood trauma and his ousting from IBM (John Getz of THE FLY will guest-star as his IBM exec father), make him even more of an ongoing mystery.

For his core team, Joe drafts hardware genius Gordon Clark (Scoot McNairy, 12 YEARS A SLAVE, BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE), an office drone still haunted by the inexplicable failure of his own brilliant innovations in the field (Joe recognizes his potential and reignites it by tasking him to reverse-engineer the IBM computer chip), and software savant Cameron Howe (Mackenzie Davis, BAD TURN WORSE), a punky, videogame-addicted college student who seems to have cut her teeth on writing computer code.

The big drama isn't just in whether or not they can come up with the technological breakthroughs they're striving for--they're also trying to do all of that without causing Cardiff electronics to go out of business, mainly due to legal actions brought against it by their monolithic competitor IBM. After reverse-engineering that IBM chip, the team must then come up with their own non-copyrighted version that will pass legal muster and do so before the company goes under.

Between Gordon's marital problems with wife Donna (Kerry Bishé), another tech head working for Texas Instruments, and the unhealthy sexual relationship between Joe and Cameron, the show features plenty of non-computer-related mischief that also manages somehow to be relevant in various ways to the ongoing professional intrigue. The characters are far from perfect and often display less-than-admirable traits, which makes them more believable and identifiable.

The 80s-era period atmosphere is good, although the Georgia locations don't convey much of a "Texas" vibe and neither do some of the less-than-authentic accents. (Guest stars Jean Smart and Texas-born Annette O'Toole are exceptions.) When the resident eggheads start spouting volumes of computer lingo at each other, it reminds me of the techno-gibberish used on "Star Trek: The Next Generation"--I don't really have to know exactly what it all means to appreciate its dramatic impact.

The entire season builds up to the big electronics sales convention in Las Vegas where the team goes to unveil their big gamble to their peers along with the rest of the world. Here, just when we think all is finally well and that a major victory is at hand, a shockingly unexpected and near catastrophic setback gets them scrambling into damage control mode again.

The 3-disc Blu-ray set from Anchor Bay (10 episodes, approx. 435 minutes) is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish. Extras consist of three featurettes--"Remaking the 80s", "Rise of the Digital Cowboys", and "Setting the Fire: Research and Technology"--along with a brief behind-the-scenes look at all ten episodes. Also contained are instructions on how to instantly stream and download a digital HD ultraviolet copy of the series.

HALT AND CATCH FIRE: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON succeeds in taking something totally foreign to me and making it interesting. It's fun seeing all the dramatic stuff that went into the creation of this amazing invention that most of us take for granted every day.

HALT AND CATCH FIRE: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE BIRDS (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/9/15

 

The Alfred Hitchcock classic THE BIRDS (1963) shows us how vulnerable we'd be if our little feathered friends suddenly started attacking us en masse for no discernible reason.
 
Long, talky stretches with no music (electronic bird noises take the place of an actual score) lull the viewer into a sense of normalcy that is suddenly shattered by the bloody, violent, and shocking (especially for the time) bird attacks. 

We also get the sense that all of the interpersonal drama between the humans ultimately means nothing in the face of nature's indiscriminate wrath. 

There's a coy will-they-won't-they romance between seemingly aloof jetsetter Melanie Daniels ("Tippi" Hedren) and down-to-earth Mitch Brenner (Rod Taylor), who lives with his nervous mother (Jessica Tandy) and sweet-tempered little sister Cathy (Veronica Cartwright) in the sleepy coastal town of Bodega Bay.  Former lover Annie Hayworth (Suzanne Pleshette), the town's schoolteacher, adds a touch of melancholy by still carrying a smoldering torch for Mitch.

Melanie follows Mitch home from San Francisco one day to deliver some lovebirds to Cathy for her birthday--an elaborate practical joke that demonstrates her impulsive nature and lack of responsibilities.  She will mature before our eyes during the oncoming ordeal, befriending both Cathy and Annie and becoming a worthy match for Mitch even in the eyes of his clinging, judgmental mother.

But none of this matters when the birds attack, except to increase the stakes for Melanie and Mitch who now have more to live for.  Melanie risks her own life without hesitation to help a class full of children escape when a flock of crows descend upon their school, while Mitch will perform heroically during the grueling nighttime siege upon their boarded-up house. 

Both episodes are Hitchcock at his most relentlessly cinematic.  Hitchcock builds suspense masterfully in these and other memorable sequences and delivers the occasional jolt, such as the startling discovery of a bloody victim in his bedroom.

Melanie's attic ordeal in which she suddenly becomes engulfed in a mass of ripping beaks and claws is Hitchcock's attempt to duplicate the shower scene from PSYCHO, to lesser but still impressive effect. (I love the fact that right before she passes out, the once vain and selfish Melanie mutters "Where's Cathy?")

His direction falls short only when the execution fails to match his ideas.  As in the horse-jumping sequence from MARNIE, also starring Hedren, Hitchcock's mental storyboards and creative fancy don't always transfer to film as intended. 

This is true mainly in a series of static closeups of Hedren intercut with a trail of burning gasoline leading up to a horrific gas station explosion.  Earlier, a process shot in which she sits in a rowboat in front of a Bodega Bay backdrop is fake-looking enough (on the big screen, anyway) to evoke laughter in audiences. 

Most of the time, however, Hitchcock proves himself to be one of the most brilliant film stylists of all time with one impressive sequence after another.  The attacks on the school and town are sudden, chaotic, and disorienting.  Jessica Tandy's discovery of the dead neighbor with the pecked-out eyes is a high point of horror, mainly in the way the director leads up to the reveal for maximum shock value. 

With Mitch's family and Melanie barricaded inside the Brenner house awaiting the most intensive attack of all, the final segment of the film is both harrowing and riveting.  It's also a clear influence on George Romero's 1968 zombie classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, including the idea of a sudden and unexplained rash of attacks upon humanity that force groups of people to seek shelter and wait in fear of an unknown, incomprehensible menace. 

The fact that these attacks are never explained helps to give THE BIRDS the feeling of a nightmare, perhaps moreso than any other Hitchcock film.  Its enigmatic, inconclusive ending, criticized by some, is Hitchcock's own Mona Lisa smile, hinting that a little mystery--along with a nasty little jolt now and then--is good for the soul.

Trailer
Hitchcock teaser trailer

THE BIRDS (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on May 7, 2009

 

A Sci-Fi Channel original movie is like a box of chocolates--you never know what you're gonna get, or just how nutty it's gonna be. THE LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON (2008) is not only nutty as hell, but it's so hard to swallow that Forrest Gump would've choked on it.

Shannen Doherty stars as a 19th-century archeologist named Susan Jordan (who is anachronistically referred to in the DVD's captions as "Ms. Jordan"). Susan is following in the footsteps of her father--literally, in fact, since he disappeared on an expedition in the American southwest and she's on the hunt for him. 

Dr. Jordan (Duncan Fraser) was searching for an Aztec pyramid that's supposed to be hidden out there somewhere, and Susan enlists the aid of her colleagues in her search. The trail leads them to a grand canyon, just like the title says, only it isn't THE Grand Canyon since this was filmed in British Columbia.

Finding a passageway into the hidden canyon, the group encounters a hostile tribe of Aztecs who seem to be constantly sacrificing people to appease their horrible flying serpent god. These Aztecs are a motley bunch with pallid skin, cottage cheese thighs, and big butts, and they wear the same kind of flip-flops that you get out of a bin at Wal-Mart, but Shannen and her pals have their hands full fighting them off while struggling through a series of low-grade cliffhanger perils. 

These include trying to get through a booby-trapped doorway without being decapitated by the spring-loaded axe, falling into a pit where they must avoid getting beaned by a spiked ball on a chain, and, in one of the lamest suspense scenes ever, attempting to pull two of their group out of a large puddle of quicksand by poking sticks at them.

Shannen Doherty is getting a bit long-in-the-tooth to be playing this sort of ingenue role, especially when we (along with the male leads) are supposed to be titillated by the sight of her sponging off in a creek. "Stargate SG-1" alumnus Michael Shanks fares a bit better as Shannen's secret admirer Jacob Thain, a hands-off archeologist who'd rather stay in his tent than pick up a shovel but who turns out to be quite courageous and resourceful when the chips are down. 

Another familiar face, JR Bourne, does well as the cowardly Langford. Heather Doerksen ("Stargate: Atlantis", THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) plays one of those irritating frontier feminists whose character gets sillier as the movie goes on, along with the script.

LOST TREASURE wants to offer up the same excitement and thrills as an Indiana Jones or Ricochet O'Connell adventure, but it just doesn't have the budget or the talent to pull off anything that comes close. Sparse production values and really bad CGI conspire to give the film a consistently bargain-basement look (shots of the canyon's interior are particularly cheesy), which is compounded by slipshod direction from LAWNMOWER MAN 2's Farhad Mann and some of the worst handheld camerawork I've ever seen. And since it's a Sci-Fi Channel original, you just know there's going to be a CGI creature--in this case, the Aztec serpent god--that's considerably less than convincing.

The DVD's 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen image and Dolby 5.1 sound are good. The sole bonus feature is a "making-of" short that lasts about twelve minutes and consists mainly of cast interviews.

I try not to judge low-budget made-for-TV flicks too harshly, especially if they have that elusive "so bad it's good" quality that can make a lesser effort fun to watch. However, THE LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON is, for me, simply boring and a chore to endure. The cast is pretty game, but the filmmakers just don't seem to be trying any harder than they have to.

 

THE LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON -- DVD Review by Porfle

Failed Stunt Used In John Wayne Western "The Trail Beyond" (1934) (video)

Lone Star studios hated to waste footage...

...so failed stunts were worked into the action whenever possible.

Here's an exciting one from John Wayne's 1934 western THE TRAIL BEYOND, performed by either Yakima Canutt or Eddie Parker. (Looks like Eddie.)

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Failed Stunt Used In John Wayne Western "The Trail Beyond" (1934) (video)

THE KILLER SHREWS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/24/14

 

One of the most well-liked, perhaps even loved, titles in the bad-movie pantheon is a low-budget horror/sci-fi thriller from 1959 called THE KILLER SHREWS.

As I myself pointed out in great detail in an earlier review--intended, admittedly, more for Medved-style cuteness than anything else--there's a lot to poke fun at in this modest effort if you've a mind to.

But even as it gets its share of well-deserved ridicule (especially for the giggle-worthy fact that its mutated shrew creatures are actually dogs wearing monster costumes) and is one of the most popular films to have been given the MST3K treatment, one of the main reasons this tense little flick has such staying power is that in addition to being "so bad it's good", it is also, in many ways, just plain good.

For one thing, it's one of the first movies in which a disparate group of people barricade themselves in a house to defend themselves against an outside menace. As has often been pointed out, the similarities between it and George Romero's 1968 horror classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD indicate that Romero was influenced by the earlier film.

Which gives rise to an even more intriguing thought--did Alfred Hitchcock see THE KILLER SHREWS before coming up with his own barricaded-house thriller THE BIRDS four years later?

The story is pure straightforward pulp novel stuff, with manly cargo boat captain Thorne Sherman serving as a no-nonsense working class hero. When he and first mate "Rook" Griswold (Judge Henry Dupree) deliver supplies to a group of research scientists on a remote island that's about to be hit by a hurricane, he finds he's walked right into danger in the form of wolf-sized, man-eating killer shrews whose teeth drip instantly-lethal venom.

Heading the research group is Dr. Marlowe Craigis (leading Yiddish theater actor and famed director Sidney Lumet's father, Baruch Lumet), a well-meaning scientist wracked by guilt for having unwittingly unleashed such monsters. Among those threatened by them is his own daughter Ann, played by Ingrid Goude who was Miss Sweden of 1956 and, while not a very skilled actress, at least brings a likable earnestness to her performance.

In the role of Dr. Craigis' cowardly assistant Jerry Farrell is Ken Curtis (THE SEARCHERS, THE ALAMO), who would go on to TV superstardom as Festus Haggen on "Gunsmoke." Curtis has a field day playing Jerry as a weaselly lush driven by ambition and burning with jealousy after Ann starts making goo-goo eyes at Captain Thorne, and we can't wait to see the shrews chow down on this insufferable jerk.

Rounding out the cast are executive producer Gordon McLendon as endearingly nerdy scientist Dr. Radford Baines and Alfredo DeSoto as loyal handyman Mario. McLendon and Curtis also co-produced THE GIANT GILA MONSTER that same year, and both films were directed by Ray Kellogg, who co-directed THE GREEN BERETS along with John Wayne. A special effects man as well as director, Kellogg supplies some really nice-looking matte paintings to the shots of Thorne's boat anchored in the island harbor.

While many low-budget horror flicks of the era are technically inept and heavily padded, THE KILLER SHREWS' lean, suspenseful story moves along briskly once the exposition is out of the way. The shrew attacks themselves are often frightening as the revolting creatures relentlessly chew their way through the soft adobe walls of the house in a frantic search for "food."

It helps that the actors seem so thoroughly convinced that the dogs-in-monster-suits menace is real. James Best, known mainly as Rosco P. Coltrane on "The Dukes of Hazzard", somehow fits his own laconic persona into the part of a macho action hero well enough for us to buy into Thorne Sherman as a guy with the brains and brawn to get these people through this seemingly hopeless ordeal.

Meanwhile, some of the dialogue is laughably off-kilter and seems even more amusing as the cast strains to deliver it with utmost seriousness, often while guzzling martinis like they're going out of style. Yet they're able to make us care about these desperate people during the escalating shrew attacks, up to and during one of the most ludicrous (yet somehow riveting) climactic sequences ever seen in a film of this kind. The fact that it's played absolutely straight--as is the entire movie--makes it both exciting and, yes, perversely hilarious.

The DVD from Film Chest is in 4 x 3 full screen with original mono sound. No subtitles or extras. While I don't see much difference in this "digitally restored" version than the ones I already have, the image is quite good despite the usual specks and scratches.

What makes this release stand out for me is that the opening narration is complete, beginning with the line "Those who hunt by night will tell you that the wildest and most vicious of all animals is the tiny shrew." Usually this narration is joined in the middle of the final sentence with the truncated line "...Alaska, and then invading steadily southward...there were reports of a new species...the giant killer shrew!"

Apparently only the longer audio survives since the footage to accompany it seems to consist of the same brief shot seen before, only greatly slowed down until the bolt of lightning that heralds the main title. But it's nice to finally hear the whole thing.

Even if you've already watched the MST3K version of THE KILLER SHREWS, it deserves to be seen on its own terms. (Unlike much of the total crap that Joel, Mike, and the robots have comically endured over the years.) With repeated viewings, the unintentional comedy remains entertaining as ever while the suspense and chills contained in this nifty little monster movie steadily creep their way up your spine.


Read our original "The Killer Shrews" review HERE

DVD street date: November 11

THE KILLER SHREWS -- DVD Review by Porfle

MURPHY'S LAW: COMPLETE COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/27/11

 

What starts out as a not-particularly-great little cop show suddenly evolves into one of the most hard-hitting, hypnotically watchable police dramas ever as you make your way through the 23 episodes of MURPHY'S LAW: COMPLETE COLLECTION, a nine-disc DVD set from Acorn Media. 

James Nesbitt stars as Thomas Murphy, an Irishman working as an undercover cop for the London police force.  Plagued by guilt over the death of his daughter and languishing on leave after a negative psyche evaluation, he's pulled back into service to help stop a gang of diamond smugglers operating out of a funeral home.  Murphy solves the case, meets a cute babe named Annie Guthrie (Claudia Harrison) who's also working undercover, and they team up to fight crime together.

This pilot episode is okay but nothing special, as are subsequent Series One episodes "Electric Bill", "Manic Munday", "Reunion", and "Kiss and Tell."  Murphy goes undercover in various locations (prison, health club, nightclub, snooker tournament), uses his sharp wits and irreverent attitude to get the goods on the bad guys, and has one of those coy budding-romance relationships with his female partner.



Series Two changes all of that in the first five minutes of episode one, "Jack's Back", with a shocking event which heralds a dark new direction for the show.  Murphy takes on the persona of a homeless man to track down a killer who's emulating Jack the Ripper in a violent, downbeat story, beginning a transformation of his quirky, wisecracking character into an intense, no-nonsense badass with nerves of steel.  Still, Murphy never loses his humanity and is often deeply affected by what he experiences. 

The writing and technical aspects of the show keep getting better as well, with the rest of Series Two serving up some outstanding stories such as "Convent" (Murphy as priest) and "Go Ask Alice" (Murphy as janitor in a biotech laboratory).  Things aren't always wrapped up nicely at the fadeout--one episode ends with a horrific freeze-frame of an innocent victim's death scream. 

But the best is yet to come as the show finally hits its stride in Series 3.  Here, the episodic nature of the previous seasons is jettisoned in favor of long-form stories which continue over several episodes and allow Murphy to immerse himself in prolonged and highly dangerous undercover assignments.  Over the next six episodes, he'll manage to gain the trust of a ruthless crime boss named Callard (Mark Womack) who hires him as a hitman.  As he sinks deeper into a maelstrom of murder, heroin smuggling, counterfeiting--among other things--Murphy must deal with the death of his partner while trying to stay alive on a day-to-day basis. 

This series of episodes is non-stop excitement and suspense, filled with brutal action and unpredictable plot twists that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time.  One of the best things about it is a delightfully sinister performance by Michael Fassbender (INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, EDEN LAKE) as Callard's smirkingly sadistic henchman, Caz.  The entire supporting cast is excellent as well, but it's Nesbitt who continues to impress more and more. 

His "Murphy" character is the ultimate adrenaline-stoked hardass, plunging into dangerous situations and either fighting or thinking his way out, yet always on the edge of burning out or breaking down (not to mention losing an appendage or two) from the non-stop pressure of his job.  Going for broke in virtually every scene, Nesbitt is fascinating to watch.



Series 4 and 5 keep the momentum going with two more three-episode stories.  The first finds Murphy infiltrating an Irish gang run by the infamous Johnstone brothers.  Drew (Liam Cunningham) appears to have been converted to the Muslim faith and is about to wed a Pakistani bride, while his volatile brother Billy (Brian McCardie) rebels against Drew's newfound pacifism by becoming even more violent and unstable. 

McCardie's incredibly intense performance is absolutely thrilling and his scenes with Nesbitt give the series some of its most riveting moments yet.  Murphy eventually discovers Drew's true intentions and manages to set the brothers against each other, leading to an explosively exciting finale.  Adding weight to Murphy's character here is his ongoing emotional anguish over having to place his aging mother in an institution after his father can no longer cope with her deteriorating mental state. 

Series 5 wraps things up with a gritty tale of illegal immigrants being marketed not only as manual laborers but also as sex slaves in a sadistic pornography ring.  Two of Murphy's fellow undercover officers, Mitch and Kim (a superb Andrea Lowe), disappear while on the job, forcing him to delve into this wretched den of scum and villainy by gaining the trust of the top man and going to work for him.  More than ever, Murphy's efforts are complicated by feckless police superiors interested only in covering their own asses--some of the confrontational scenes between them here are positively cathartic in their dramatic intensity.  The story builds to a shattering conclusion, leaving Murphy at his most desperate point yet and the viewer dazed and disoriented.

The boxed set from Acorn Media contains nine discs in four keepcases (approx. 23 1/2 hours).  All are in 16:9 widescreen with Dolby Digital stereo and English subtitles.  Text-based extras consist of a James Nesbitt biography and production notes.

If you decide to give this show a whirl, don't be put off by the lightweight nature of the first few episodes.  Not only does "Murphy's Law" eventually become one of the best series about undercover police work that I've ever seen, but Murphy himself goes from quirky, seriocomic oddball to a complex and supercool character who keeps us constantly fascinated by what he's going to do next.  For fast-paced, adult, wildly dynamic entertainment, MURPHY'S LAW: COMPLETE COLLECTION is almost too good to be legal.   

MURPHY'S LAW: COMPLETE COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle