TARA ROAD -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online in 2005.)

 

"Sometimes you must lose your life to find a new one."  Oh, brother...

What do you do when your life falls apart around you?  Well, if you're Marilyn (Andie MacDowell), a well-to-do New England wife who's feeling estranged from her husband after their teenaged son gets killed during his 15th birthday party, and Ria (Olivia Williams), an Irish mother of two who just found out that not only is she pregnant again, but so is her husband's mistress...

...you swap houses.  Yes, that's the gimmick that TARA ROAD (2005) uses to take these two hapless women on an emotional journey of self-discovery and all that stuff.  After a handy plot contrivance, Marilyn ends up in Ria's house in Dublin and Ria leaves her kids with her cheating husband and his girlfriend and whisks off to New England to move into Marilyn's house.  But they're not just swapping houses, they're swapping lives.  And learning about themselves...and growing, and...excuse me, I think I'm gonna barf...

First of all, Ria's a wuss.  Her husband Danny (Iain Glen) makes his shocking announcement--you know, about his girlfriend being pregnant and whatnot--and all she can do is desperately clutch at him and practically beg him to stay with her.  Marilyn, on the other hand, is a cold fish who has a faithful husband who loves her, yet she rejects him because she's so wrapped up in her own self-pity.  In one early scene, she's so upset about the loss of their son that she even knocks her glass of iced tea off the table while sitting by the pool.  So these two women damn well better learn about themselves and grow and all that stuff during this movie, or I'm really gonna be ticked off.

When we see them wandering through each other's houses, it's supposed to be a meaningful "moment", judging from the soft string music and the solemnity on their faces.  For some reason, going through each other's underwear drawers and tripping over each other's kid's toys is meant to be a deeply emotional experience for them and us, although I didn't really get why.

Of course, a big part of the story will be the alternately zany and heartwarming culture shock that is generated when Ria and Marilyn encounter each other's friends.  Ria discovers that Marilyn has the standard "brassy broad" gal pal who seems to constantly flounce from one of these movies to the next--the frizzy-haired, obnoxious fashion disaster, Carlotta ("Ab Fab" script editor Ruby Wax).  There's also a funny black friend named Heidi (Jia Francis), because rich white women always have a funny black friend.  Ria is invaded by them upon her arrival and is flustered and nonplussed by their raucous American behavior since people aren't brassy and obnoxious and black in dear ol' Dublin, doon't ya know, and they get tipsy and have girl-talk and it's all just so delightful!  Not.

Meanwhile, Marilyn is ransacking her way through Ria's private photographs and looking wistful as sad music plays on the soundtrack.  At this point I have absolutely no emotional investment in this character, yet I'm supposed to be all weepy over her.  Actually, I can't stand her.  Anyway, she encounters Ria's restauranteur-gardener friend, Colm (Stephen Rea) and her other friend Rosemary (Maria Doyle Kennedy), and they're so low-key and sweetly encouraging and relaxing to be around--just what poor Marilyn needs, bless her heart.  Various other people flit in and out of her vicinity and talk Irish at her, which she finds enchanting.  It's as though she's stumbled into some kind of Tolkien fantasy full of playful hobbits.

I check the DVD time and find that only one-fourth of the movie has elapsed so far.  Oh...my...god.

Ria meets Marilyn's brother-in-law Andy (Jean-Marc Barr) and they hit it off because he's one of those fantasy chick-flick guys who is soft-spoken, wimpily handsome, and talks about his feelings yet knows when to listen, so it looks like a romance is in the offing.  I can't believe I'm talking about this stuff.  Please shoot me.

Did I mention that Marilyn has two giddy, flamboyantly-gay friends who supply comedy relief by queening it up whenever they're onscreen?  Of course she does.  Ria cute-meets them and gets a job cooking in their bakery.  Then she goes out with Andy for a romantic, emotional dinner that ends with Irish coffee by the pool.  She's finding herself!

Things get more complicated when Danny's business goes bust and he starts running around doing desperate things and turning into even more of a bad guy.  And Rosemary is revealed to be not quite the good friend to Ria that she was thought to be, so Ria must learn to be more assertive and self-reliant at last.  While all this is going on, Marilyn begins to inch her way back to happiness when she's reunited with her husband and finally learns to accept her son's death.  And yes, both women grow in the process.  Hallelujah!

This movie wants to take us on an emotional rollercoaster ride but it's more like getting stuck in traffic with a carload of people you can't stand and nothing on the radio but Barry Manilow.  The story is dotted with scenes meant to elicit instant reactions from us without really trying--a crying scene here, a party scene there, another plot complication, more crying--like a bad painter dabbing colorful flower petals on a bland still life. 

It's all deadly slow and lifeless, and when it was over, I felt like I'd just been released from bondage.  If you have a high tolerance for boring chick-flicks you may enjoy TARA ROAD, but it's definitely not my cup of Sleepytime Herbal Tea.

 

 

TARA ROAD -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE BEAST MUST DIE! -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/29/20
 

Having already released it on Blu-ray back in 2017 as part of "The Amicus Collection", Severin Films is now giving the cult classic THE BEAST MUST DIE (1974) an even better-looking updated release based on newly-discovered elements.

In Severin's own words: "A superior 35mm pre-print element of THE BEAST MUST DIE was recently unearthed in France and made available to us. On the previous Amicus box exclusive only an old HD telecine was available of the censored TV version and the censored scenes were scanned from a 16mm print and inserted. The newly available superior element was given a brand new 4k scan and fully restored by Studio Canal in France."

Having just viewed the latest version, I found it superior to the previous release. Not only that, but the disc contains the original bonus features in addition to some brand new ones.

Still included are an audio essay by horror historian Troy Howarth, an informative commentary track with director Paul Arnett, the featurette "Directing the Beast" with Arnett again, and the theatrical trailer.

New features consist of an audio interview excerpt with Milton Subotsky conducted by Philip Nutman, an audio interview with producer Max J. Rosenberg conducted by Jonathan Sothcott, and a trailer commentary by genre scholars Kim Newman and David Flint.

Both English and Spanish 2.0 mono soundtracks are available, with English subtitles.


As for the movie itself, here's our original review:


One of the most hard-and-fast rules of cinema is that any movie is worth watching if it has a "Werewolf Break."

Okay, I made that up, but I do find it to be true in the case of the 1974 Amicus werewolf thriller THE BEAST MUST DIE! (Severin Films), which not only does have a "Werewolf Break" but happens to be the only film I can think of to boast such a distinction.

It opens with a lively title sequence featuring eccentric millionaire Tom Newcliffe (American actor Calvin Lockhart, COTTON COMES TO HARLEM, UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT) being hunted by his own ex-military security staff in order to test their capabilities. This is in preparation for an antipated guest--namely, a werewolf.

Newcliffe, in fact, has invited a varied array of men and women to his secluded estate for the weekend, believing one of them to be a werewolf and looking forward to the opportunity of hunting it down to satisfy his sadistic lusts for sport and blood, as he does every other kind of wild beast he comes in contact with.

Thus, we already get a strong THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME vibe, especially when Newcliffe makes it clear that none of the guests--that is, werewolf suspects--is free to leave the grounds until one of them has been exposed and terminated.

There's also sort of a low-rent Agatha Christie flavor a la "And Then There Were None"/"Ten Little Indians", including even the traditional gathering of the suspects and surprise reveal at the end. (The script is actually adapted from a short story by James Blish, author of the very first Star Trek novel "Spock Must Die!")

What makes this variation on the old saw so much fun--besides, of course, the werewolf angle, which will have the attention of old-school monster fans from frame one--is the pure, undiluted 70s-era cheesiness of the whole thing.

While capable enough, the direction by Paul Annett, as well as cinematography,  editing, and some rather broad acting, give the film the look and feel of a quickie TV-movie of the era.

The original score by Douglas Gamley is perfectly fine and even somewhat reminiscent of Bernard Herrmann until he tries for a 70s funk-rock effect, which recalls the old thwacka-wacka 70s porn-movie backing tracks.

This, however, by no means hampers one's enjoyment of the film.  Rather, it increases it for viewers with a taste for fine cheese who revel in seeing such a cast, including Peter Cushing, Anton Diffring, Michael Gambon, and Charles Gray, taking part in such goings on.

Calvin Lockhart himself overacts his role with such magnificent abandon that I kept wishing he could skip the werewolf and go up against Rod Steiger in a ham-actor cage match.

With three successive nights of full moons, THE BEAST MUST DIE! gives us plenty of furious action (although the murky day-for-night photography sometimes makes it hard to see just what's going on) as well as lots of ensemble drama pitting the hot-blooded hunter against his own reluctant guests as he tries to trick each into revealing his or her hidden lycanthropy.  This includes even his wife, Caroline (Marlene Clark, who also tends to emote rather robustly).

When we see the werewolf itself, it's rather disappointingly played by an actual canine rather than a person in werewolf makeup (which I, being a lifelong fan of such films as THE WOLF MAN and CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF, would much prefer).

I got used to this, however, and was primed when the film finally paused for its delightfully hokey "Werewolf Break", a gimmick harkening back to the days of William Castle in which we're given thirty seconds to weigh the clues and decide the true identity of the werewolf.  (I was wrong, and you probably will be, too.)

There are those, of course, who will find this  practically unwatchable if they require their horror films to be more costly, refined, and sophisticated.  That's fine for them, but I'm one of many who can watch a movie like THE BEAST MUST DIE! and relish it every bit as much as those other ones--and, occasionally, even more.

THE BEAST MUST DIE! -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE THEATER BIZARRE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 1/6/21

 

From "Night Gallery"-level chills to art house pretention to EC comics-style irony, THE THEATRE BIZARRE (Severin Films, 2011) is, like other anthology films done by a gang of directors, similar to one of those mystery grab bags kids used to order from the back of a monster magazine.

Of course you have your wraparound segment, which in this case concerns a strange young woman named Enola Penny (Virginia Newcomb) whose apartment is across the street from an old abandoned theater with which she's abnormally obsessed.  One night as she's gazing at it through her window, the doors open by themselves and beckon her into its dark, spooky interior.

What she finds onstage is a troup of decaying clockwork figures jerkily performing under the direction of creepy master of ceremonies Peg Poett.  If you're a fan of Udo Kier (HOUSE ON STRAW HILL), you should enjoy seeing him cavort as the robotic storyteller whose bizarre tales seem to draw Enola deeper into the world of the unreal until, as the film's finale, the segment ends precisely as we predict.

 

 Kier's first tale of the bizarre is "The Mother of Toads" by Richard Stanley (HARDWARE) about a young couple vacationing in France.  Karina (fave actress Victoria Maurette, LEFT FOR DEAD, KUNG FU JOE) just wants to have a good time, but anthropologist Martin (Shane Woodward) is caught up in the local pagan history when they meet witch Mere Antoinette (Catriona MacColl) at a street fair.

Martin can't resist an invitation to her secluded hovel to see her copy of the fabled Necronomicon, which will lead to the usual dire consequences when Mere Antoinette turns out to be none other than the titular sorceress.  The segment is richly Lovecraftian with an adult-oriented "Night Gallery" vibe and laced with grotesque imagery (along with some nice nudity when statuesque Lisa Crawford steps into the Mere Antoinette role during Martin's supernatural seduction).

COMBAT SHOCK director Buddy Giovinazzo's "I Love You" makes an abrupt tone change with its story of clinging, emotionally-needy Axel (André Hennicke) not taking the news very well when the love of his life Mo (Suzan Anbeh) announces that she can't stand living with him anymore and is leaving him for someone else.  Aside from the blood, this could be any Euro-cinema relationship drama centered mainly on two people trading tortured dialogue in an apartment.  It's pretty good dialogue, as is the acting, but the predictable twist ending is only mildly effective.

 

Gore effects legend Tom Savini directs "Wet Dreams" and plays the psychiatrist friend of Donnie (James Gill), a stereotypical male chauvinist who abuses and cheats on demoralized wife Carla (scream queen Debbie Rochon of TALES OF POE and HELL TOWN in a strong performance).  Along with an affair with his friend's wife, Donnie's been having nightmares involving horrific forms of castration (the segment's main preoccupation) including a lobster-claw vagina that recalls Lovecraft again.

Dr. Maurey (Savini) tells Donnie to simply close his eyes and count to three as soon as he realizes that he's dreaming, which should awaken him.  But this won't save him when Carla's own dreams start to take over his reality.  While its women's-revenge-fantasy theme is about as subtle as a bucket of bricks, "Wet Dreams" has that EC comics "ironic retribution" feel to it which--along with James Gill's comically exaggerated performance and some extreme gore effects--makes it one of the film's more wickedly amusing stories.

Hardly seeming to belong in such a collection of dark horror tales is Douglas Buck's exquisite tone poem "The Accident."  Hauntingly expressive child actress Mélodie Simard plays a little girl who's curious about the hows and whys of death after she and her mother (Lena Kleine) witness a fatal motorcycle accident on a country road. 

 

There's no real plot or resolution here--the little girl's contemplative impressions of the incident form a leisurely-paced succession of dreamlike images as she questions her mother about death at bedtime and Mom does her best to answer.  And that's it.  It may not sound like much, but upon second viewing I was near tears the whole time, stunned by the subtle beauty and emotional depth of this delicately-rendered fable.  More than anything else, for me anyway, it's what makes THE THEATER BIZARRE a keeper.

Karim Hussain's "Vision Stains" jars us out of this tender reverie with one of the film's most startling tales.  Kaniehtiio Horn is The Writer, a young woman insanely driven to experience and record the memories of the other destitute women she murders by extracting the fluid from their eyes at the point of death and injecting it into her own.

Hussain's handling of the segment is as woozily off-kilter as its premise, probably the most "bizarre" concept in the entire film, and plays upon our eye-injury fears with the help of a very convincing practical effect--namely, an oversized articulated eye used in some cringeworthy closeups.  The Writer's quest for knowledge will eventually lead to a fate familiar to fans of Roger Corman films.

 

Finally, there's David Gregory's sickly "Sweets", which may put you off dessert for awhile.  Candy addict Greg (Guilford Adams) goes into withdrawal when his girlfriend Estelle (Lindsay Goranson), with whom he's shared many moments of confectionary bliss, announces that she's leaving him.  As Greg devolves into a mass of syrupy hysteria, the strangely distant Estelle responds to his pleas with a monotone string of cliches such as "It's not you, it's me" and "I need space."

Something's definitely not right about Estelle or her effect on the bloated, pathetic Greg, and anyone who's ever read "Hansel and Gretel" will have little trouble figuring out why.  The climactic scene occurs inside an underground restaurant populated by weird Goths (including Lynn Lowry of MODEL HUNGER and THE CRAZIES) overindulging in grotesque delicacies, and ends with the film's most over-the-top gore.  The old-school practical effects used to achieve this are impressive, but, despite being somewhat amusing, the segment isn't.

This new release from Severin Films is the first time the film has been available on Blu-ray. Disc specs, as well as a packed menu of juicy special features, are listed below.

THE THEATER BIZARRE is a worthwhile trip for horror fans through some dark, strange territory, with each story offering its own unique style and approach.  Like those richly colorful Warren comics from the 60s and 70s that director Richard Stanley cites as one of his inspirations, the film is always interesting to look at but the stories range from the memorable to the forgettable.  

Buy it from Severin Films

Special Features:

    2020 Filmmakers Audio Commentary
    2012 Filmmakers Audio Commentary
    Backstage: The Making of THE THEATRE BIZARRE – New feature length documentary featuring interviews with Directors Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini, Richard Stanley, Producers Daryl J. Tucker, Fabrice Lambot, Michael Ruggiero, Actors Udo Kier, Catriona MacColl, Lynn Lowry, Victoria Maurette, Kaniehtiio Horn and more.
    French TV On-Set Report on Richard Stanley’s Return to Genre Filmmaking
    Making of VISION STAINS by Filmmaker Pat Tremblay
    Making of THE ACCIDENT by Filmmaker Pat Tremblay
    Shock Till You Drop’s Choice Cuts with Buddy Giovinazzo
    Shock Till You Drop’s Choice Cuts with David Gregory
    Shock Till You Drop’s Choice Cuts with Jeremy Kasten
    Boswell Scores – Interview with THE MOTHER OF TOADS & VISION STAINS Soundtrack Composer Simon Boswell
    THE MOTHER OF TOADS – Extended Cut
    Trailers

Disc Specs:

    Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
    Audio: English 5.1 & 2.0, French 2.0
    Closed Captions: English SDH
    Region Free

THE THEATER BIZARRE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE RETURN OF DR. X -- Mini Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/19/20

 

Just watched Humphrey Bogart's only foray into horror, THE RETURN OF DR. X (1939), after hearing about it for so my years.

Despite how generally maligned it is in comparison to the original "Dr. X" (to which this is a sequel in name only), this is actually a very good stand-alone murder mystery with strong sci-fi/horror elements.

The film benefits from fine production values and a good cast, including a very young Wayne Morris as a brash newspaper reporter and Dennis Morgan as a doctor who suspects a revered surgeon of very foul play.

Bogart is surprisingly good in this type of role, despite the fact that he was cast in it under duress. I enjoyed the film very much and am always glad to discover a Golden Age goodie that has previously escaped my notice.

THE RETURN OF DR. X -- Mini Review by Porfle

A LITTLE HELP -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/17/11

 

A LITTLE HELP (2010) is one of those chick-flicks that isn't all that bad once you actually find yourself sitting down to watch it--usually against your will--although if you're like me you'll spend the entire running time wishing the Terminator would break the door down and start annihilating everybody.

Jenna Fischer ("The Office") plays Laura Pehlke, a recently-widowed young mom whose life is crashing down around her.  Jenna manages to make her mousey, indecisive character somewhat endearing enough so that we can stand her for an hour-and-a-half.  Some of her more amusing scenes have her working as a dental hygienist with a parrot constantly squawking over her shoulder.  The best ones involve Laura and her overweight, misfit son Dennis, played by Daniel Yelsky in his movie debut.

Yelsky is the best thing about A LITTLE HELP.  As Daniel, he's a painfully insecure little kid with the soul of a Borscht Belt comic.  Yelsky's delivery is priceless even when he's obviously reading his lines from cue cards--he's both deadpan funny and dramatically impressive in some crackling exchanges that allow him and Fischer to really have at each other (particularly the "You suck!" scene and the "9-11 is cooler" scene).  Even the part where they sing along with "Runaround Sue" in the car is bearable (along with the "bad date with the wrong guy" scenario, the "singing along to an oldie" thing seems to be a chick-flick staple).

Laura's life is taken over by her hellishly overbearing sister Kathy (Brooke Smith, the abducted girl from SILENCE OF THE LAMBS) and meddling mom (Lesley Ann Warren), who coerce her into putting Daniel into a private school and suing her late husband's doctor for malpractice.  This takes place during a brow-beating "intervention" which is cringe-inducing for anyone who's experienced anything similar.  As the litigating lawyer, the great Kim Coates ("Chet" from THE LAST BOY SCOUT) gets a role he can really sink his teeth into, which is fun to watch. 

Daniel, meanwhile, has been trying to fit in at his new school by telling everyone his dad was a fireman hero on 9-11, a colossal lie that snowballs until Laura is caught up in it herself.  This yields both humor and ultimately devastation when they're both found out.  One theme of the film seems to be that lying is just bad all around because the truth always comes out.  I learned that way back in the Our Gang short "Don't Lie" but I guess you can never hear it enough times.  

Ron Leibman's deft comedy touch livens up his turn as Laura's dad, and Sam McMurray (RAISING ARIZONA) is good as an irreverent D.J. (Dion does a cameo as one of his interview subjects).  Chris O'Donnell's okay as Laura's husband, Bob, but he's only in the movie long enough to kick off and throw her life into chaos.  As Kathy's easygoing, henpecked husband Paul, Rob Benedict plays a likable enough character until he confesses that he's always been in love with Laura and starts getting creepy.  In fact, their entire subplot is kind of icky, and the fact that it's part of the emotional heart of the film gives off a "please don't go there" vibe that's averted by mere chance.

Writer-director Michael J. Weithorn, making his feature film debut here, handles the direction and editing well but Fischer and Yelsky's performances are the main reason the story isn't as lightweight as it could've been.  Things still tend to get a little cloying and overly contemplative whenever one of Jakob Dylan's soulful songs intrudes, but that's something you just have to expect when you're watching a film like this. 

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound and English subtitles.  Extras consist of a trailer and TV spot, a Jakob Dylan music video, and a number of thumbnail promotional interviews with cast and director.

The main message of A LITTLE HELP is the usual stand up for yourself, darkest before the dawn stuff.  We see the darkest but we don't see any of the dawn due to a somewhat abrupt ending, so we're left to assume Laura is on the verge of finally getting her head out of her ass.

A LITTLE HELP -- DVD Review by Porfle

Was The Beverly Hillbillies' "Granny" in "Mighty Joe Young"? (1949) (video)

Irene Ryan played crotchety old "Granny"...

...in the hit 1960s TV series "The Beverly Hillbillies."

But in her younger days, Ryan made a brief comedic appearance...

...in the SPFX-heavy monster thriller "Mighty Joe Young" (1949).


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Was The Beverly Hillbillies' "Granny" in "Mighty Joe Young"? (1949) (video)

YOGI BEAR'S ALL-STAR COMEDY CHRISTMAS CAPER -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/21/10

 

In the 60s, Joseph Hanna and William Barbera pioneered the use of limited animation for television, knocking off a string of successful cartoon shows such as "Huckleberry Hound", "Quick-Draw McGraw", and "The Flintstones."  While simpler and cheaper than fully-animated theatrical cartoons, the initial Hanna-Barbera TV output was still far superior to the increasingly-inept Saturday morning drivel that would follow, and hold up today as good-looking, well-written shows which, like their big-screen counterparts, are entertaining for both children and adults.

Such is the case with one of their most popular characters, Yogi Bear, who lives in Jellystone National Park with his pal Boo-Boo and drives Mr. Forest Ranger crazy by constantly stealing picnic baskets from unwary campers.  With the DVD release of YOGI BEAR'S ALL-STAR COMEDY CHRISTMAS CAPER, we get to see examples of Yogi both in his glorious 60s heyday and in a lackluster 80s adventure that pales in comparison.

(Little kids, of course, will probably enjoy each of them equally, so feel free to pop in this DVD and let the tykes go nuts.  With that out of the way, let's look at the two stories on this disc from the nostalgic old geezer perspective.)

 

 

First up is the titular tale, "Yogi Bear's All-Star Comedy Christmas Caper."  This originally aired in 1982, when most made-for-TV cartoons had regressed in quality to a point well beyond "limited", coming off as cheap, slapdash drivel whose stories were written solely for the purpose of keeping undiscerning kids occupied.  Design and rendering of characters is sketchy and sloppy, direction is uninspired, and the "comedy" is on roughly the same level as pulling funny faces at babies to make them laugh.

The best thing about it is that it reunites some of the best vocal talent in the business--Mel Blanc, Allan Melvin, Hal Smith, Janet Waldo, Don Messick, and the great Daws Butler, among others--as a group of Hanna-Barbera's most memorable characters help Yogi and Boo Boo celebrate the Christmas spirit by bringing a poor little rich girl and her neglectful father closer together during a sojourn to the big city.

An interesting side note to this episode is the fact that the word "Chanukah" was edited from the soundtrack when the show first aired.  According to tvseriesfinale.com, someone at CBS was leery of Snagglepuss' line "Merry Christmas! Season’s Greetings! Happy Chanukah, even!", bleeping the reference to the Jewish holiday for reasons unknown.  Even on this DVD, it's simply replaced by the word "happy."  Weird, even!

After being distinctly unimpressed by Yogi's yuletide antics, I was relatively ecstatic to find that the second offering was a special 1962 episode of the original TV series, entitled "Yogi's Birthday Party."  The difference is immediately apparent--there's exquisite artwork and character design done with style and flair, snappy direction by Hanna and Barbera themselves, and, best of all, genuinely funny gags that adults (especially us nostalgic cartoon geeks) can appreciate right along with the kids.  Maybe even more so.

It's a week before Yogi's birthday and the show's sponsor is planning a gala surprise celebration for their star, with a nervous Mr. Forest Ranger charged with keeping the secret from him.  "Trying to keep a secret from Yogi is like trying to hide Lake Michigan from a duck," he moans.  Yogi overhears just enough of the phone conversation to get the idea that he's being given his own entertainment special, and will be expected to perform.


 

Worried that his singing and dancing skills aren't up to par, Yogi takes a series of lessons in a montage that pokes fun at some popular personalities of the era.  He gets dancing lessons from Fred Upstairs, singing tips from Boppy Darin, and even some piano-playing pointers from one "Lee B. Rocky." 

When the big night comes and Yogi discovers the birthday surprise, his reactions are priceless.  Mr. Forest Ranger turns the event into a spoof of Ralph Edwards' "This Is Your Life" with a succession of all-star guests from Yogi's past appearing one after another.  First, Huckleberry Hound's voice is heard from offstage:  "A hound-dog howdy to y'all, Yogi."  Mr. Forest Ranger asks, "Who's that, Yogi?"  Yogi's guess: "The president?"

As familiar characters such as Snagglepuss, Hokey Wolf, Pixie and Dixie and Mr. Jinks, Quick-Draw McGraw, Yakky Doodle, Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy, and Snooper and Blabber accumulate onstage (with all the top voice actors on hand again, this time including June Foray and Duke Mitchell), the gags give way to a cheery birthday song written especially for the occasion.  For me, this breezy and utterly charming classic episode is a delightful treat all the way.

The Warner Brothers DVD is in standard format with English and Spanish soundtracks.  Subtitles are in English, Spanish, and French.  Bonus features consist of some DVD and video game trailers.

I keep saying that "the kids" will like both features on YOGI BEAR'S ALL-STAR COMEDY CHRISTMAS CAPER, but to tell you the truth I'm never really sure what the hell little kids like or don't like these days.  As for me, I had a ball watching the older one because it's really good and it brought back fond memories.  The later one, on the other hand, is one of the main reasons I quit bothering to get out of bed on Saturday mornings.

YOGI BEAR'S ALL-STAR COMEDY CHRISTMAS CAPER -- DVD Review by Porfle

CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/16/10

 

Most fans of Charles Schulz' "Peanuts" no doubt have a special place in their hearts for those animated specials that have been popping up on TV off and on for over forty years.  If it's been awhile since you watched one, you can relive old memories with CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES, a good example of the best and worst of the lot. 

First up on this DVD is the title piece from 2002, which is a series of Christmas vignettes loosely linked by the seasonal theme, each showcasing a particular character.  There's no main plot linking them all together, but each mini-story is charming and engaging on its own. 

The episodes play like those "Peanuts" comics that followed a single story thread for several strips, and watching it is like reading an animated version of one of Schulz' paperback compilations.  In fact, I have a feeling these were actually taken right from the comics.  The setups and punchlines come one after another just as though we're paging through one of those comics collections, and they're deftly delivered like a stand-up comedian on a roll.

Our favorite characters get the spotlight in turn, beginning with Snoopy, who's taken up being an accordion-playing street corner Santa.  An example of the classic set-up and punchline style on display here: Lucy and Linus walk by Snoopy-Santa as he squeezes out a tune, there's a pause, and then Lucy remarks, "I don't know, Linus...to me, 'Oh Susanna' just doesn't sound very Christmassy."  (In a nod to past glories, Snoopy then switches to the theme song from "A Charlie Brown Christmas.")

Obsessive-compulsive Linus spends his segment agonizing over how to address Santa in his letter and dealing with his romantic feelings for a mysterious girl in his class who changes her name every day.  Charlie Brown's little sister Sally, one of my favorite characters, is concerned with trying to get her "sweet Baboo" Linus to notice her.  She also must deal with her embarrassment over mistakenly thinking "Santa" Claus is "Samantha" Claus and her quest to obtain a Christmas tree by willing one to fall down rather than having to chop it down.

Lucy resolves to be nicer than ever, which naturally makes her more crabby than before.  We see her wooing the reluctant Schroeder and trying to convince Linus that the Bible dictates he give her a Christmas present.  Charlie Brown, as always, simply reacts to the various indignities and absurdities that are thrust upon him daily.

Vince Guaraldi's irresistible and instantly-recognizable music is nicely arranged and performed by David Benoit, and the voice work is good.  "Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales" is a briskly-paced series of brightly funny gags that are smartly drawn and animated, breathing new life into these long-running characters.

The second feature on the disc, "Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown?", came out around the tail end of the vintage Charlie Brown specials and isn't nearly as memorable as the earlier ones.  It seems as though writer Charles Schulz' heart wasn't really in this one, which had the potential to be one of the series most heartfelt stories.

This time Linus and Lucy are moving away due to their father's job relocation, and Charlie Brown faces the loss of his two best friends.  Such an event is important in a kid's life, and we expect something more substantial than this episodic, disjointed narrative.  With Linus and Lucy gone, the story veers into a lengthy and rather unspecial subplot about Peppermint Pattie's dogged attempts to get Charlie Brown to ask her for a date.  An abrupt wrap-up follows this uninteresting detour from the main story, which isn't developed very well at all.

Besides an awful musical score (not by Vince Guaraldi), subpar vocal talent, and some iffy character design, "Goodbye" commits a cardinal sin--showing adult characters onscreen.  Watching this when it first aired back in 1983, I remember thinking how jarring it was when the moving men were shown loading the Van Pelts' belongings into a van.  "Peanuts" has always been a kids-only world, where the closest thing to a grownup was the comically distorted "voice" of Charlie Brown's nagging teacher.  So, to casually introduce some anonymous adult characters from out of the blue is, to me, a bothersome misstep.


The Warner Brothers DVD is in standard TV format and Dolby Digital sound with English and French subtitles.  Also included are trailers for other Peanuts DVDs. 

Now that I think of it, the disappointing "Is This Goodbye, Charlie Brown?" is probably the reason I finally quit watching these "Peanuts" specials altogether.  So it's nice to see that, with "Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales", the old magic was restored.  Of course, all of this nitpicking comes from the point of view of a grownup, and, despite my comically distorted gripes, kids will probably manage to enjoy both of these stories just fine.

CHARLIE BROWN'S CHRISTMAS TALES -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SOUND OF MUSIC LIVE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/5/18

 

If you find yourself watching Shout! Factory's new Blu-ray release of THE SOUND OF MUSIC LIVE, chances are you either (1) love the Julie Andrews movie and are curious to compare them, or (2) simply like musical theater, or (3) are fascinated by elaborate live television productions.

And if, as in my case, all three apply, you're liable to have as great a time watching this incredible ensemble performance as I did.

Once it got underway, this 2015 version of the classic Rodgers & Hammerstein musical (book by Russel Crouse and Howard Lindsay) quickly began to prove that it could stand beside the beloved film version as its own entity, with its own style and unique appeal.

The first thing I noticed is how great it looks.  Shot on three soundstages, this live show boasts some exquisite sets for the abbey in which young Maria is studying to become a nun, the mansion of the lonely widower Captain Georg von Trapp and his children, for whom Maria is sent to serve as temporary governess, and, finally, the concert hall where the Von Trapp Family will eventually perform for their fellow Austrians on the eve of World War Two.

The second thing I noticed is that this cast is marvelous, especially a radiant Kara Tointon (MR. SELFRIDGE, EASTENDERS) as free-spirited Maria and Maria Friedman as Mother Abess, Maria's wise and encouraging mentor who realizes that the young woman's future path may lie outside the abbey. Julian Ovenden as the Captain takes a bit longer to warm up to, but then so does his stern, joyless character (into whom Maria breathes new life and love).

The juvenile castmembers are marvelous as well, as are the exhilarating song and dance performances which make all the familiar tunes sound brand new and freshly exciting.  The only ones that didn't move me were sung by Katherine Kelly as Baroness Elsa Shraeder, Georg's (poorly-chosen) intended bride whom we know is totally wrong for him, and Alexander Armstrong as Georg's amusingly craven friend Max.  But this is appropriate since their songs are meant to express more selfish, worldly interests.

We know that Maria will gradually melt Georg's cold heart and use the healing power of song to bring him closer to his children again, and that they'll fall in love.  But seeing it presented in such a delightfully imaginative new interpretation, with such heart and emotion, had me tearing up with the first chords of each familiar song.

For indeed this is a deeply emotional tale (based on a true story) of love--not just romantic love, but love of family, country, and God--with songs that go straight to the heart to evoke a wealth of feeling.  Even the suspenseful finale in which the Von Trapp family attempt to escape from an Austria trembling under the oppressive weight of encroaching Nazism (as frighteningly depicted here) is ingeniously interwoven with song.

The production itself is a technical marvel that I found endlessly fascinating.  How they pulled off something so incredibly elaborate for live television with nary a hitch is an utter marvel.  Even when one of the children stumbles over a suitcase, Tointon makes it a part of the scene.

Director Coky Giedroyc, using 17 cameras, gives it all just the perfect balance between stagey theatricality and cinematic fluidity and style.  The presentation never feels static or stagebound, while Giedroyc infuses it all with a pleasing simplicity and a sharp focus on both character and performance.

The Blu-ray from Shout! Factory looks great and features a behind-the-scenes featurette and a commentary track by Kara Tointon and Julian Ovenden.

As someone who fell in love with the original film version way back in the 70s, I can say without reservation that THE SOUND OF MUSIC LIVE is a wonderful new incarnation of the story which I found profoundly moving.  Both as entertainment and as a technical achievement, it's a dazzling, exciting experience.

THE SOUND OF MUSIC LIVE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE RED SKELTON HOUR IN COLOR: DELUXE EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/15/17

 

I remember loving "The Red Skelton Hour" when I was a kid, but over the years I sort of lost touch with my former TV comedy pal.  With Time-Life's 22-disc DVD collection THE RED SKELTON HOUR IN COLOR: DELUXE EDITION, I've discovered a treasure trove of prime comedy gold that brings the reasons I loved Red in the first place rushing back in waves of laughter.

One of the most endearing and uninhibited laugh-getters in TV comedy history, Red took an obvious delight in performing which was highly infectious to any audience he happened to be in front of.  One-liners, silly stories, wacky characters and voices, and a master's skill at pantomime were all parts of the comedy arsenal he wielded so exquisitely in his endless quest to entertain.

In these priceless segments, Red is an ad-lib machine who clearly has a ball churning out jokes and one-liners off the cuff while keeping the audience, and often his co-stars, howling with laughter.  This gives the impression that we're watching the dress rehearsal, the preliminary run-through of the show in which everything's loose and improvisational (in his later taped shows, this may in fact be true!)

Red doesn't just break the "fourth wall"; he acts as though it doesn't exist, and never did.  The audience is always in on every joke from start to finish, and his adlibs are almost always directed at them.  This gives the whole thing a delightful audience-participation vibe that heightens our enjoyment of the show.

This is especially true in the early live shows (recorded onto 16mm film as kinescopes) with exciting live-audience performances that capture Red at his most energetic and uninhibited.  Eight discs in this set make up the four-volume "The Red Skelton Show: The Early Years (1951-1955)" which is prime early Red at the beginning of his 20-year network run on NBC and CBS.

These are brisk half-hour shows in black-and-white which are solid comedy save for the occasional musical guest.  Red performs some of his greatest characters including country hick Clem Kadiddlehopper, quickwitted tramp Freddy the Freeloader, washed-up boxer Cauliflower McPugg, tippler Willie Lump-Lump, Sheriff Deadeye, Lord Beaverhead, George Appleby, seagulls Gertrude and Heathcliff, and several others.

Familiar guest performers include Billy Barty, Sheree North, Charles "Buchinski" Bronson, Ann Southern, June Foray, Mike Mazurki, Gil Perkins, Benny Rubin, Ed Sullivan, Johnny Carson, Jackie Gleason, Milton Berle, Bob Hope, and John Wayne, as well as Red's wife Georgia ("Little Red") and kids Valentina and Richard. Red also works the plugs for that night's sponsor, such as Tide or Geritol, into the skits in humorous ways. 

The 10-disc set "The Red Skelton Hour In Color" continues the fun and hilarity onward into Red's later shows with 31 hour-long color episodes from the 60s.  These keep the fun going full-tilt with twice the amount of jokes and pantomime (the latter represented by the regular feature "The Silent Spot").

Among Red's guests are John Wayne (spoofing his "Rooster Cogburn" character), Milton Berle, Martha Raye, Tim Conway, Phyllis Diller, Mickey Rooney, Nipsey Russell, George Gobel, Robert Goulet, Merv Griffin, Mike Connors, Liberace, Carol Wayne, and more.  (Look for ubiquitous extra Bess Flowers in one of the "Silent Spot" segments.)  Musical guests include Simon and Garfunkel, the Fifth Dimension, the Association, and Lou Rawls. 

A special treat for horror fans is the episode featuring guests Boris Karloff and Vincent Price as father-and-son mad scientists who try to turn Clem Kadiddlehopper into a robot.  (Boris and Vincent even sing!)  The set also features a bonus Skelton biography, "America's Clown", and interviews with Vicki Lawrence and Bobby Rydell.

"The Best of Red Skelton: The Complete 20th Season" encompasses Red's final hours of network series TV in 23 episodes on three discs.  These shows get a lot of mileage poking fun at the hippies and other aspects of the era, featuring several then-current stars as well as some old favorites.  Among these are Raymond Burr, Jerry Lewis, Barbara Anderson, Robert Wagner, Jill St. John, Walter Brennan, Gene Barry, Dan Blocker, Eva Gabor, Wally Cox, Tony Randall, Telly Savalas, Godfrey Cambridge, and Michael Landon.

Finally, "Red Skelton: The Farewell Specials" contains four hour-long shows that Red did for HBO years after he'd gone off the air but was still going strong.  "Red Skelton's Christmas Dinner" is a Yuletide Freddy the Freeloader adventure with Vincent Price and Imogene Coca playing fellow vagrants who understand the true meaning of the season.  (Look for Cec Linder, who played Felix Leiter in GOLDFINGER.) 

"More Funny Faces", "Funny Faces III", and "A Royal Command Performance" capture Red's enduring brilliance as a live stage performer as he mesmerizes crowds in Canada and England, including members of the royal family. 

Red Skelton was one of the best stand-up comics of all time and a master of pantomime, endlessly energetic and inventive, appealing to all ages, versatile, and bursting with fun and goodwill.  Even his tendency toward maudlin sentiment can be forgiven (and, if need be, fast-forwarded through) in light of the wealth of comic brilliance one can enjoy watching his priceless recorded performances.  For fans of Red and of comedy in general, THE RED SKELTON HOUR IN COLOR: DELUXE EDITION is a treasure chest of comedy gold.

THE RED SKELTON HOUR IN COLOR: DELUXE EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle

SILENT NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/29/12

 

I'm not sure who first had the idea of turning Santa Claus into a psycho killer, but I do recall sitting at the drive-in and thrilling to the sight of a not-so-saintly Saint Nick menacing Joan Collins in the original TALES FROM THE CRYPT.  Later, the home video age allowed me to witness Linnea Quigley's celebrated antler-skewering in 1984's SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT in the comfort of my own recliner.  And now, with Anchor Bay's release of SILENT NIGHT (2012) on DVD, the jolly old elf with the axe and the attitude problem stalks the snow-swept streets yet again.

The pre-title sequence gets things off to a nice start with some teasing glimpses of Psycho Santa gearing up to go medieval on a couple of squirming home-invasion captives.  One guy's harrowing electrocution, complete with exploding eyeballs, gives us a foretaste of the film's generous gore content which will include plenty of slashings, choppings, piercings, dismemberments, and other mischief all done with old school 80s-style practical effects. 

Strangely enough, though, we've seen all this stuff so many times before that even the ghastliest effects have a "been there, done that" quality.  It's the staging of the mysterious killer Santa's attacks that makes the difference, with director Steven C. Miller doing his best to inject new life into very familiar situations.  He's already shown that he can do horror on a small budget (AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION) and handle action scenes with skill (THE AGGRESSION SCALE). 

Here, both are done with Miller's usual competence, although little that happens is original or over-the-top enough to really impress us on the level of, say, HALLOWEEN--which this movie resembles a bit in its earlier scenes of a placid Midwestern town lazily gearing up for a holiday amidst ominous glimpses of a murderous masked intruder.  As slasher killers go, this hulking Santa with the plastic mask has the size and imposing bearing for the job, yet lacks the personality needed to make him truly memorable in the "Michael Myers" vein.

Jaime King, who was the beautiful Goldie in SIN CITY, does a fine job in a non-glamorous role as a woman who actually looks like she might be a smalltown deputy.  Having just lost her husband, she's getting moral support from her parents over the holidays but is called in to work when Deputy Jordan (Brendan Fehr, COMEBACK SEASON) fails to show up--for reasons we're already aware of. 

As the killings escalate and a Santa-suited slasher is identified as the main suspect, the investigation is made doubly difficult by a plethora of Saint Nicks wandering the streets in preparation for the big Christmas parade.  Red herrings and false leads abound, including Donal Logue as an amusingly cynical fake-Santa who likes to make the kiddies cry by telling them the truth about Christmas.  Playing a crotchety old sheriff who looks forward to dealing with something exciting for a change, Malcolm McDowell is a welcome presence and seems to enjoy lending this earnest little horror flick some name value.

King's acting talent is given full range as her character's vulnerability and shaky self-confidence are evident in a series of close calls with suspects and some disturbing crime scenes including the murder of a little girl (who, as we see earlier, is an insufferable brat who richly deserves her fate!)  Equally shocking ends are in store for a stereotypically lecherous priest and an even more stereotypically sex-crazed teen couple whose lusty liason is rudely interrupted.  (The latter includes a direct homage to SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT that echoes a similar re-enactment by Linnea Quigley herself in CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS.)

The gore effects are hokey but fun, with a crudely inventive woodchipper scene being perhaps the most genuinely unpleasant sequence.
Miller uses his modest budget to good effect and his movie looks pretty good (the Christmas ambience is especially well done) except for when the camera starts spazzing out during the murder scenes.  A frenetic flamethrower finale inside the police station isn't all that exciting but is rather impressively staged. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 soun and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras consist of some deleted scenes and a brief behind-the-scenes featurette.

Like most good yuletide horror movies, SILENT NIGHT is melancholy and atmospheric, and actually generates a bit of Christmas spirit with which to contrast its brutal carnage.  While in no danger of becoming a perennial cult favorite along the lines of BLACK CHRISTMAS, and not particularly memorable in general, it's a morbidly fun way to pass the time while waiting for your chestnuts to roast.

SILENT NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SWAN PRINCESS: KINGDOM OF MUSIC -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/5/19

 

It's been awhile since I saw the previous entry in this series, THE SWAN PRINCESS: ROYALLY UNDERCOVER. and I couldn't quite remember why I'd liked it so much. But just a few minutes into the current sequel, THE SWAN PRINCESS: KINGDOM OF MUSIC (Sony, 2019), was enough to remind me.

For a start, this is some gorgeous computer animation even for a diehard fan of old-fashioned cel animation such as myself.  The settings are all beautiful and well-photographed, creatively directed with a constantly moving camera that's well choreographed with the action.

This, along with the vibrant, often exhilarating colors, gives every scene a pleasing kineticism that I found especially fun to watch.

More importantly, the characters themselves are attractively designed and expressive, conveying all the necessary emotions which are the foundation of what turns out to be a deeply romantic story (unlike the more adventuresome bent of the previous film) with much of the same warmth and wonder of a Miyazaki film, which this reminded me of at times.

Princess Odette and Prince Derek are back, as is their adopted daughter Alise whose upcoming coming-of-age party forms the centerpiece of the story. She's still smitten with our old friend Lucas, a commoner who raises tulips, but he'll have a serious rival when one of the candidates to sing at Alise's ball is handsome Prince Li from Cathay.

Alise and Li's initial mutual hostility soon turns to infatuation, prompting the jealous Lucas to seek the help of royal ally Lord Rogers for some quick ballroom dance lessons that will help him win her heart on the dance floor.

More romantic complications arise when Li's sister, Mei Li, seeks out the help of Swan Princess Odette to help break the spell that has turned her lover, Chen, into a flying, fire-breathing dragon.  In classic tragic romance style, Chen can only assume human form for a few precious minutes at sundown, during which the young lovers enjoy a few brief, desperate moments together.

How these two intertwining romantic subplots are worked out forms the jumping off point for the kind of emotional drama that's not just for the kids in the audience but the adults watching with them as well. Indeed, these stories of young people on the brink of maturity and all the heartache it can bring should prove engaging and relatable to any ages.

In the meantime, the film is aglow with sharp, witty dialogue and clever sight gags performed by lovable supporting characters such as Lord Rogers and Queen Uberta, Li's paternal servant Ru, Puffin the wise bird, and the supercilious French frog Jean-Bob, who, along with Rogers and Umberta, forms the judging panel for the contest to decide which of the hopefuls from countries all over the world gets to sing at Alise's ball.

Resembling a royal episode of "America's Got Talent", these elaborate singing auditions elevate the film's musical quotient although most of the songs are poppy, auto-tuned fluff designed to make Li's two tuneful numbers sound even more substantial in comparison.

His second song, "Goodbye", is one of the emotional highpoints and a major reason why the story should appeal not just to kids and tweeners, but to any adult who enjoys an opulently-staged musical of this caliber.

The DVD from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with English, French, and Spanish Dolby 5.1 sound and English subtitles.  Extras include two sing-a-long segments, trailers for other Sony releases, and a featurette in which director Richard Rich demonstrates his very hands-on technique of acting out each role for the animators to use as a guide.  Picture and sound quality are excellent. 

With THE SWAN PRINCESS: KINGDOM OF MUSIC, there's always something dazzling happening to keep us interested from start to finish.  And along with its more joyfully fanciful elements, the story is both refreshingly mature and relatable enough to stimulate youthful minds without insulting their burgeoning intelligence.


Format: NTSC
Language: English
Region: All Regions
Number of discs: 1
Rated: G (General Audience)
Studio: Sony Pictures Entertainment
DVD Release Date: August 6, 2019
Run Time: 83 minutes

THE SWAN PRINCESS: KINGDOM OF MUSIC -- DVD Review by Porfle

ALIEN AGENT -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

 

Canadian sci-fi/action flick ALIEN AGENT (2007) began as a somewhat more ambitious vehicle for Dolph Lundgren. First announced in 2000, it went through several proposed cast members and directors (including Sidney J. Furie, John Fries, and Roger Christian), and an apparent reduction in scope, before finally going before the cameras in 2006 with "The Crow: Stairway to Heaven" star Mark Dacascos in the lead and acclaimed stunt coordinator Jesse Johnson (PIT FIGHTER) in the director's chair.

Dacascos plays Rykker, an intergalactic lawman who is trying to stop fellow aliens Saylon (Billy Zane) and Isis (Amelia Cooke) from opening up a wormhole between their planet and Earth to facilitate their conquest of the human race. 

After Isis and her goons murder the only remaining family of truckstop waitress Julie (Emma Lahana, "Power Rangers"), she hooks up with Rykker to help him stop the invaders and falls in love with him in the process. Meanwhile, the construction of a stargate between the two planets continues in an abandoned power station, where the final battle for Earth's fate will take place.

Despite the loftier aims initially attached to this project, the final result doesn't look much different from standard Sci-Fi Channel fare, but with extra violence and brief nudity added. Vlady Pildysh's sketchy script is pure pulp, with good aliens vs. bad aliens (who have taken over human bodies so that very little special makeup is required) battling each other with guns and martial arts in normal everyday settings. Even the stargate which features prominently in the finale is little more than a big, rotating plastic ring with some CGI sparkles added.

What ALIEN AGENT does have going for it is an abundance of action. Blazing shoot-em-ups and fierce hand-to-hand battles occur in quick succession with brief snippets of story to link them together. The martial arts sequences are well-staged and convincingly executed, and are edited so that the rapid-fire shots flow together very smoothly. The gunfights and car chases are similarly impressive, with an abundance of satisfying explosions and other mayhem. 

One early moment which got my attention shows warrior woman Isis firing a bazooka from a moving truck and blasting the pursuing Rykker's car right off the road, all in one shot; another finds her blowing up half the cars and trucks in a parking lot as Rykker makes off in another vehicle. The only detriment in these scenes is director Johnson's unfortunate tendency to try and accentuate the action with jittery zoom-in, zoom-out camarawork, which never fails to make even big-budget movies look rinky-dink (as Michael Bay demonstrated in THE ROCK's big San Francisco car chase).

Dacascos, with his soulful demeanor and martial arts skills, is well-suited for the role of Rykker, while Emma Lahana makes for a spunky sidekick. On the bad alien side, Amelia Cooke plays a pretty convincing Isis, but Billy Zane doesn't appear to be investing much in the role of the evil leader Saylon; in fact, he seems to be having more fun playing the baseball-capped yahoo whose body Saylon inhabits upon his arrival on Earth. In a lesser role, the great Kim Coates, who was Chet in the celebrated "Touch me again, I'll kill ya" scene from THE LAST BOY SCOUT, makes a welcome appearance as a sniveling human scientist in league with his future alien overlords.

DVD specs include 1:78:1 widescreen, Spanish subtitles, and a trailer. This Allumination Filmworks release is rated R for violence and brief nudity, the latter consisting mainly of a nude shot of a showering Julie which appears to have been done by a body double with great abs.

Though not quite the sci-fi epic originally conceived, ALIEN AGENT is an action-packed diversion that's fun to watch as long as you keep your expectations low.

 

ALIEN AGENT -- DVD Review by Porfle

DOOBIOUS SOURCES -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally postedon 12/28/16

 

Most people probably think it's more fun to write bad reviews than good ones.  But for me, it's way easier to write a review of a movie that I really like than one about which I can't think of a single good thing to say.

The stoner comedy DOOBIOUS SOURCES (2017) presents just such a dilemma.  Sitting through its amazingly long running time of 102 minutes while trying to glean some worthwhile tidbit here and there is a joyless, almost punitive task.  It's like getting fifty lashes in the public square and thinking, "Well, at least these shoes are comfortable."

Our heroes, Zorn Tappadapo (Jason Weissbrod, NEVER BEEN KISSED) and Reginald "The Reg" Block-Hunsleigh (Jeff Lorch, PICKIN' & GRINNIN'), are a couple of freelance investigative reporters who drive around in their mini-van trying to pull "stings" and sell the footage to the local news.

Their cameras are also constantly trained on each other as they hope to create a documentary about themselves, which allows us ("forces" might be a better word) to experience the entire story "Blair Witch" style.

One of their sting operations involves using a "Gregslist" ad to trick straight men into gay encounters in a motel room, with the latest victim, burly he-man Magnus Martindale (Joe Cortese of AMERICAN HISTORY X and JESSI'S GIRLS as sort of a Tim Thomerson type), striking back at them with a vengeance. 

Meanwhile, the boys hook up with a mousey TV reporter, Ky Kittridge (Creagen Dow), to get the goods on some crooked city officials using an RV as their surveillance base.

What follows is a needlessly convoluted series of unfunny situations with lots of screaming, sneaking, running around, and other frantic activity in a vain search for laughter. 

I got lost several times trying to follow the reams of dialogue these guys were firing at each other, much of it within the RV and all of it framed in claustrophobic style through a few handheld cameras. 

Even the "stoner" aspect seems tacked on--Zorn and Reg light up several joints while driving around or sitting on a stakeout, and they do the usual "sharp inhale, hold, cough" thing a lot, but there's never any real "stoner" humor like you might find in a Cheech and Chong movie.

In fact, the weed angle could be completely purged from the film without changing it a bit, just as long as the two main characters remained yakky, hyperactive jackasses.

As for the actors themselves, I think they all do a pretty good job with what they have to work with.  On a technical level the film is adequate considering that it's simply meant to look like a couple of guys filming each other. 

It would've been different if the "sting" aspect of the story had been interesting, or there had been some actual weed-related comedy (besides just puffing a lot of it and then acting stoned), or some funny comedy of any kind.  But unfortunately, DOOBIOUS SOURCES has the dubious distinction of making MAC AND DEVIN GO TO HIGH SCHOOL seem twice as funny in comparison.

DOOBIOUS SOURCES -- Movie Review by Porfle