KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/26/20

 

Remember how all the action movies after DIE HARD were described as "DIE HARD in an airplane" or "DIE HARD on a cruise ship", etc.? Well, KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK (Indican Pictures, 2020) is like "AIRPLANE! on a train", or maybe "UNDER SIEGE 2 by way of AIRPLANE! but on another train", or anything with both AIRPLANE! and trains in it.

Of course, everyone knows AIRPLANE! is that hilarious deadpan comedy that spoofed the dead-serious "Airport" disaster movies. And in case you've forgotten, UNDER SIEGE 2 was that Steven Seagal movie about terrorists aboard a moving train.

Anyway, this movie is all of that with the addition of at least one key element: killer raccoons.

One character recalls yet another similar action film when he exclaims, "I'm tired of these (bleep) raccoons on this (bleep) train!" The raccoons in question are trained machine-gun-toting killers in service of a group of mercenaries who take over a passenger train car carrying the remote control console of an orbiting death ray satellite (the PEN15) built by our government and manned, so to speak, by--you guessed it--more raccoons.

Thus, the crazed terrorists, who all wear eyepatches and indulge in raucous evil laughter while taunting frantic military leaders with their demands, hold the world for ransom while the only person who has previous experience in fighting killer raccoons, Ty Smallwood (Yang Miller), happens to be on the train after serving a ten-year prison term for underage drinking.

We eventually learn that just about everyone in the cast was also involved in the events of the previous film ("Coons!: Night of the Bandits of the Night") and were presumed dead but it turns out they weren't really dead.

Now, such government agents as Agent Charlesworth and staunch feminist Agent Woman, who happened to be on the train, end up REALLY dead while Ty, who now wants to be called "Casey" (long story), must stay alive long enough to thwart the bad guys' evil scheme.

That's about all the explanation I can give for how incredibly kooky this comedy is, because it's brimming with non-stop jokes and moves at a frantic pace that just doesn't let up, as a large cast of characters spews funny lines with just the right degree of bone-dry, straight-faced seriousness.

In fact, this hyper-screwball comedy is pretty much the limit as to how incredibly silly you can get while still being deadpan at the same time. Even notorious porn star Ron Jeremy finds just the right balance of serious and over-the-top as a military general called in to help deal with the crisis. (There's a great blooper included with him repeatedly blowing a line containing the word "fracking.")

Writer-director Travis Irvine, who helmed the first movie and plays a TV reporter named Dick Weener, deftly keeps all this insanity moving along at a brisk clip and knows just how to navigate this kind of material for utmost comic effect.

The script is unapologetically cheesy and basks in the lowest of lowbrow humor--even the PEN15 satellite resembles a giant sex toy--with each member of the cast portraying it as though their paychecks depended on it.

Action-wise, it's pretty much all one might wish for in an action flick between heroic humans and stuffed raccoons with guns being manipulated in such an intentionally fake-looking way that they make the Muppets look elegantly realistic in comparison, engaging in blazing gunfights and hand-to-paw combat both inside and outside of the moving train.

Some of our favorite action-movie cliches show up, including the hero's portly black friend who loves Twinkies, a final mano a mano battle against the burliest bad guy (which includes a waffle iron vs. a George Foreman grill), a craven reporter endangering everyone's lives for an exclusive, and a cheery Christmas theme.

The DVD from Indican Pictures contains the following extras: filmmaker commentary, 2 behind-the-scenes featurettes, a trailer, and bloopers.  English subtitles are available.

I was going to watch the first half of this movie over my evening coffee and peanuts and then finish it off later during dinner, but I almost found myself watching the whole freaky-deaky thing in one dazed sitting. KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK grabs you by the pants leg, tickles all your funny bones, beats your brain into submission, and leaves you wondering what the (beep) you just watched.


Buy it at Indican Pictures

TECH SPECS

Runtime: 96 minutes
Format: 1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby Sr.
Country: USA
Language: English
Rating: Pending

KILLER RACCOONS 2: DARK CHRISTMAS IN THE DARK -- DVD Review by Porfle

BELA LUGOSI AS THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER: "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man" (1943)

 

(Originally posted on 2/25/18)

 

Since the brain of Ygor (Bela Lugosi) was placed into the Monster's skull in GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN(1942)...

...Lugosi was chosen to play the Monster in the follow-up, FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN (1943).

Thus, the Monster, now partially-blind, would speak with Ygor's voice.

But before the film's release, all references to the Monster's speech and blindness were removed.

The Monster's stiff, lurching walk is now unexplained...as are his silent mouth movements. 

At 60, Lugosi was in need of stand-ins for the more strenuous scenes.
Actor/stuntman Gil Perkins looked so good in the makeup, it is he whom we first see in close-up as the Monster.  Another actor/stuntman, Eddie Parker, also plays the Monster.

Perkins and Parker then take turns as Monster and Wolf Man during their climactic fight...with Bela appearing in the close-ups.

Mystery and confusion as to "who did what", compounded by extensive reshoots, continue to surround the production.

Fans of the film mourn the missing footage, which will most likely never be recovered.

And they imagine being able to watch the film, and Lugosi's performance, in their original form.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it!

Read our review of the movie HERE.

BELA LUGOSI AS THE FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER: "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man" (1943)

AVATAR -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 4/25/10

I missed AVATAR (2009) at the theater, which is hardly surprising since I rarely go to the theater anymore unless I'm having my house sprayed or something. In a way that's good since, with the release of James Cameron's blockbuster sci-fi epic on DVD, I can now judge it without being bowled over by the whoopty-doo big-screen 3D experience. And as far as I'm concerned, it pretty much lives up to all the hype. Unless you simply have an aversion to James Cameron films, which I don't.

Everyone probably knows the story by now: in the future, a paraplegic Marine named Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) travels to the distant planet of Pandora and takes his deceased twin brother's place in a research project aimed at studying an indigenous alien race called the Na'vi. To do so, team members such as Jake, Norm Spellman (Joel David Moore), and crotchety project leader Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) mind-jump into cloned Na'vi bodies ("avatars") which also contain their own DNA (which is why Jake was chosen to take over for his deceased twin).

Jake gets more than he bargained for when circumstances bring him into direct contact with a Na'vi tribe which is initially hostile toward the intruder. He falls in love with the tribal chief's daughter Neytiri (Zoe Saldana), who has been charged with teaching him their ways, and learns to appreciate their amazing physical and spiritual connection with nature,eventually becoming accepted as one of them. But a greedy corporate executive, Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi), wants the Na'vi off their mineral-rich holy ground and tasks his ex-military security force, led by the extremely hostile Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang) to get the job done even if it means using deadly force.


AVATAR is James Cameron's love letter to tree-huggers everywhere, and his message does resonate within the context of the film (although after awhile you just get a little tired of how perfect the Na'vi are compared to us horrible humans--even their deity is realer than ours). The familiar story contains elements of, among other things, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Kipling's "The Jungle Book", Disney's POCOHANTAS, DANCES WITH WOLVES, LITTLE BIG MAN, and, of course, a certain story about some starcrossed lovers named Rose and Jack.

But while Cameron once again gets to indulge the romantic side which bubbled to the surface of his roiling id in TITANIC (all that's missing, unfortunately, is a "cry moment" at the end), what really gets his moviemaking mojo in gear is the massive battle between the humans and the Na'vi which takes up the latter third of the film. Huge warships and helicopters maneuver around the floating mountains, firing incendiary bombs and other nasty things into the heart of the Na'vi habitat, while ground forces in mechanical power-suits (which are like a combination of similar creations in both ALIENS and MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS) do furious battle with thousands of bow-wielding Na'vi warriors. These battle scenes are spectacular and are my favorite part of the movie. I suspect they're Cameron's favorite part, too.


The SPFX are consistently amazing, providing the viewer with some of the best eye-candy to ever grace the screen. We've already come a long way from, for example, those beautiful vistas of Naboo in THE PHANTOM MENACE--Cameron's alien planet is filled with bizarre flora and fauna amidst a kaleidescope of vibrant colors (especially at night when everything turns luminescent), and looks like a conglomeration of Yes album-cover artist Roger Dean's wildest fantasies brought to life. The flying reptiles ridden by the Na'vi are especially impressive, although some of the other forest creatures look somewhat less convincing than one might expect.

The Na'vi themselves are the last word in CGI motion-capture technology, their performances every bit as expressive as those of the live actors. Worthington, Weaver, and Moore are, by necessity, recognizable in their alien form (it's really fun seeing Weaver's face on one of these things), while the faces of the native characters played by Zoe Saldana, Wes Studi, and CCH Pounder are creations of the FX artists which allow us to get to know them as individuals without any preconceptions.


Sam Worthington is good as the "stranger in a strange land" hero, making a convincing transition from dedicated Marine to Na'vi convert (some would say traitor), and Zoe Saldana is very appealing as Neytiri. Sigourney Weaver is her usual awesome self as Dr. Augustine, although for someone who's supposed to be a nicotine addict she smokes a cigarette like she had a fishing worm dangling out of her mouth. The versatile Giovanni Ribisi is hilarious as the cartoonishly greedy, self-obsessed "unobtanium" (THE CORE, anyone?) tycoon Parker Selfridge, a kindred soul to ALIENS' Carter Burke. My favorite, though, is equally versatile Stephen Lang (MANHUNTER, TOMBSTONE) as the quintessential hard-ass military ogre, Quaritch, who's itching for a bloody showdown with the Na'vi "hoss-tiles" regardless of provocation or lack thereof. And lest I forget, Michelle Rodriguez makes the most of her role as a spunky military pilot who sympathizes with the scientists.

The DVD from 20th-Century Fox is a barebones affair unless you consider chapter selections and subtitles to be "special features." Not surprisingly, a super-duper edition is in the works for later this year. If you can't wait to own it, though, and simply want the movie itself, this will do. Image and sound quality are very good as you might expect.


So, AVATAR is a colorful, fanciful comment on the displacement of indigenous populations by encroaching interlopers, the destruction of the rain forests, U.S. military intervention into other countries, etc., etc. I don't care about any of that stuff. Cameron can exorcise his white liberal guilt and make big statements reminding us that racism=bad and the environment=good, and have the greenest mansion, land yachts, and private jet in Hollywood for all I care. I just happen to get a big kick out of the massive, powerhouse feats of action-adventure cinema this often underestimated and derided filmmaker manages to successfully pull off at great risk and expense (in addition to his earlier, lower-budgeted stuff, of course). While I don't love the guy with a fanboy's zeal (and am, quite frankly, glad I don't ever have to be around him in real life, ever), I find his movies visually sumptuous and incredibly entertaining, which fits quite nicely into one of the most vital niches of my movie lover's soul.

AVATAR -- DVD review by porfle

SON OF DRACULA (1943) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 3/10/17

 

Universal's belated follow-up to DRACULA (1931) and DRACULA'S DAUGHTER (1936) is the richly atmospheric horror tale SON OF DRACULA (1943), one of the studio's finest supernatural films of the 40s. 

At first, Lon Chaney, Jr. may seem a bit beefy for the role of Dracula's son (some believe the title to be a misnomer and that this is actually Dracula, Sr. himself) but he gives the Count an aggressive physicality that predates Christopher Lee's similar portrayal in the later Hammer films.

Chaney's Count, however, augments Lee's aloofness with a manic emotionalism.  Having settled in the American South due to a shortage of "fresh blood" in his own little corner of Transylvania, Dracula falls in with the native tendency toward steamy melodrama (in fiction, at least) and surrenders to passions of both the flesh and the spirit when choosing tempestuous, raven-haired Southern belle Kay Caldwell (Louise Allbritton) as his bride.

 

Kay, it turns out, is more of a "monster" here than the Count, seducing and then manipulating him into vampirizing her so that she can then eliminate him and put the bite on her real love, Frank Stanley (Robert Paige, looking remarkably like Gomer Pyle in some shots), allowing them to flitter off into eternity together.

This, in fact, has been her plan all along, with the aid of an old gypsy woman who lives in a wagon beside a nearby swamp. It's during one of the old hag's crystal ball readings that she delivers one of my favorite (and most unabashedly morbid) lines from any Universal horror movie in foretelling Kay's future:  "I see you...marrying a corpse!  Living in a grave!"

With the doomed Count falling prey to the devious machinations of the conniving Kay, this atmospheric black and white film has a distinct noirish quality.  We see that the lovestruck Drac is definitely unprepared for someone like her, even giving in to such a romantic film trope as rousting the town's justice of the peace out of bed for a hasty wedding that will make the Count master of Kay's inherited estate.

 

Frank, naturally, is crushed, especially when his futile attack on undead alpha-male Dracula--in the mansion that he now owns--results in Kay's (temporary) death.  But in this uniquely offbeat vampire tale, this is just when things start to heat up for the unholy love triangle. 

Thanks to John P. Fulton's special effects, this is the first film to actually show a man turning into a bat and vice versa.  We also get to see Dracula seep under a doorway as a wisp of smoke and then rematerialize before the astonished eyes of Dr. Brewster (Frank Craven) and Prof. Lazlo (J. Edward Bromberg), a Van Helsing-like vampire expert summoned by Brewster to help combat the evil that has come to their humble burg.

The first chilling close-up of Chaney, in which he looks over his shoulder and glares directly at us, is giddy-cool.  I also like it when he shows up at the front door of the Caldwell estate that night but is refused entrance by a mournful butler since the master of the house has just died under mysterious circumstances.  "ANNOUNCE ME!" Dracula barks menacingly at the poor guy.

 

There's also a glorious sequence in which a beaming Kay watches from the bayou's edge as Dracula's coffin rises to the water's surface, and then, music swelling, he stands imperiously atop it as it glides slowly to the shore.  The effect is sublime, surely one of Universal's most memorable horror movie moments of the forties.

Evelyn Ankers (THE WOLF MAN, GHOST OF FRANKENSTEIN) is as appealing as ever playing Kay's unsuspecting little sister, who reluctantly helps Dr. Brewster sort out the mystery behind Kay and the Count. 

Paige gets to emote his head off for most of the film as tragic-hero Frank gets dumped by his fiance' for a vampire, is thrown in jail for murdering her, and then finds out she's a member of the undead who wants him to join her.

Allbritton plays her role for all it's worth, with Kay taking a mad delight in each phase of her descent into evil (unlike the earlier DRACULA'S DAUGHTER, in which Gloria Holden's vampire Countess Zaleska yearns to be a normal person.) 

She's stiff competition for Chaney, but SON OF DRACULA is nonetheless Lon's movie and he makes the most of this rare chance to play a monster who's suave, nattily dressed, and doesn't have six hours of makeup obscuring his face.

SON OF DRACULA (1943) -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE TRAIL OF DRACULA -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/1/16

 

 

You know him...you love him...you want to know all about him.  And when we follow THE TRAIL OF DRACULA--a 2013 documentary now available on a brand-new DVD release from Intervision--we pretty much get the whole story, and more, about our favorite bloodsucking Transylvanian count, who just happens to be one of the most famous fictional characters of all time.

Writer-director David Mitchell has put together a history of the D-Man that's chock full of historical drawings, photographs, and film clips.  To augment the visual aspect of the story, we hear it told in exhaustive detail by a number of authors, historians, film critics, and other people who are both knowledgeable and enthusiastic about the subject.  

The story begins at the beginning, with the birth of vampire folklore in Middle Europe and tales of vile undead creatures who stalked the night feasting upon the blood of the living.  Then we trace the evolution and refinement of the vampire character into a more suave and sophisticated figure, thanks mainly to writer Bram Stoker and his novel "Dracula."

 

It's Stoker, we find, who is responsible for devising many of the modern variations of the ancient folklore as well as giving the character his birthplace (Transylvania would forever become known as Vampire Central).  The documentary also touches upon the influence upon the character of a certain Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes, or Vlad Dracul, a Romanian folk hero whose countrymen regarded his association with the evil Count to be rather less than flattering.

While the first half of THE TRAIL OF DRACULA is definitely interesting, it's a bit dry and "History Channel"-like compared to the second half when we finally delve into Dracula's many film incarnations.  That's where this documentary really comes to life for me, with a wealth of clips from early adaptations such as Murnau's incredible silent epic NOSFERATU starring Max Shreck, and of course arguably the greatest version of all, 1931's DRACULA with Bela Lugosi.

Many of the sequels and offshoots from the 30s to the 70s are covered, of which there are literally hundreds ranging from drama to Gothic horror to low comedy to, finally, pornography (DRACULA SUCKS, SEXCULA).  

Scenes from the original trailers are used whenever possible, giving us tantalizing glimpses of such films as DRACULA'S DAUGHTER with Gloria Holden, SON OF DRACULA with Lon Chaney, Jr., Bela Lugosi's Columbia outing RETURN OF THE VAMPIRE, Universal monster rallies HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN and HOUSE OF DRACULA with John Carradine as the Count, and Francis Lederer's excellent turn in the role in THE RETURN OF DRACULA. 

Lesser and sometimes obscure examples of the sub-genre include David Niven as OLD DRACULA, Andy Warhol's BLOOD FOR DRACULA, THE VAMPIRE LOVERS with Ingrid Pitt, ZOLTAN: HOUND OF DRACULA, Al Adamson's abominable (but fun) DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, drive-in favorite BLACULA, 7 BROTHERS MEET DRACULA, LADY DRACULA, Jess Franco's VAMPYROS LESBOS, and several more.

Special attention is paid, of course, to Hammer Studios' game-changing Dracula series starring Christopher Lee in what many feel rivals Lugosi's immortal interpretation of the character. 

Hammer's heavily atmospheric and relatively lavish 1958 adaptation of Stoker's novel, DRACULA (known in the U.S. as "Horror of Dracula") sparked a phenomenon that made a reluctant horror superstar out of Lee (as well as his frequent co-star Peter Cushing, already known as the new Dr. Frankenstein) and led to a lucrative, highly popular series.

Sequels would include BRIDES OF DRACULA (without Lee, but excellent nonetheless), DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS, TASTE THE BLOOD OF DRACULA, DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE, SCARS OF DRACULA, THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA, and DRACULA A.D. 1972.  The films would gradually decline in quality with each installment until finally the cycle had played itself out. 

The DVD from Intervision is in widescreen with 2.0 sound. No subtitles.  Extras include audio interviews with Christopher Lee and Francis Lederer and video interviews with director Werner Herzog talking about his NOSFERATU remake with Klaus Kinski and BLOOD FOR DRACULA's ever-charming Udo Kier. 

My favorite bonus feature is a collection of all those wonderful trailers referred to in the documentary.  There are dozens of them--a full 94 minutes worth--ranging from DRACULA '31 and on into the 1970s.  Not just a bonus, this collection is equal to a full-length companion feature.

The uninitiated--those poor, mundane souls--may not get much out of THE TRAIL OF DRACULA.  But those of us who are devoted lifelong fans of the Count, no matter which incarnation of him may be our own personal favorite, will find plenty here to sink our fangs into.    

THE TRAIL OF DRACULA -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE GREAT ESCAPE -- movie review by porfle

Originally posted on 7/19/12

 

When I was a kid, there were some movies that I looked forward to seeing on TV with the same keen anticipation I felt for an impending holiday.  The annual airing of THE WIZARD OF OZ was one, of course.  But equal to that perennial favorite in my mind was John Sturges' World War II blockbuster THE GREAT ESCAPE (1963), which, for awhile back in the 60s, would also show up on the tube about once a year.  CBS would usually show the 172-minute film in two parts on Thursday and Friday nights, meaning that after the first half I was forced to suffer an excruciating 24 hours waiting for the payoff.  But it was worth it.  And now that I have it on DVD and can watch it anytime I want, the old magic remains undiminished.

Based on a true story recounted in the book by former WWII POW Paul Brickhill, with a screenplay by James Clavell (SHOGUN, KING RAT), the film takes place mainly in a German prisoner-of-war camp that has been designed to contain those Allied captives who are continually trying to escape.  As the commandant, Luftwaffe Colonel von Luger (Hans Messmer) tells Group Captain Ramsey (a solid, dignified James Donald): "We are, in effect, placing all our rotten eggs into one basket.  And we intend to watch that basket very carefully."  Such a plan is doomed to backfire, of course, as this congregation of escape-happy soldiers immediately begins plotting the biggest, most elaborate POW escape ever. 

Richard Attenborough (JURASSIC PARK) plays "Big X", the leader and mastermind, who coordinates the digging of three separate tunnels.  His objective is to get so many men out of the camp--as many as 250--that the Nazis will be forced to devote thousands of soldiers to tracking them down.  It's fascinating to see the lengths our heroes must go to in order to obtain tools for digging and wood for shoring up the tunnels, and how they manage to disperse all those tons of dirt, without the guards detecting anything.  And as amazing and improbable as it all may seem, every pertinent detail of the escape is based on fact, while the film's characters are composites of actual people.  One of them, "Tunnel King" Wally Floody, served as a technical adviser during filming.

David McCallum ("The Man From U.N.C.L.E.") is Ashley-Pitt, the "Dispersal" expert.  Donald Pleasence, a real-life WWII POW, plays Blythe, a mild-mannered birdwatcher who serves as "The Forger" of false identity papers and such, while his roommate, American flyer Hendley (James Garner) is "The Scrounger" who can be counted on to obtain whatever is needed, chiefly through blackmailing the guards.  The odd-couple friendship of Blythe and Hendley is one of the most emotionally compelling elements of the story, especially when Blythe later loses his eyesight and is told he must stay behind until Hendley insists on taking him out of the tunnel with him.

Charles Bronson and John Leyton play "Tunnel Kings" Danny and Willy, without whose tireless efforts and expertise the escape would be impossible.  Danny, it turns out, suffers from claustrophia, though he forces himself to dig because he "must get out."  This malady will prove very inconvenient on the night of the escape when panic overtakes him at last.  Another prisoner on the verge of the breaking point is the "wire-happy" Ives (Angus Lennie), a diminutive Scotsman whose prolonged confinement keeps him a hair's breadth away from making a desperate attempt to climb the fence.  And James Coburn is Sedgwick, a droll Aussie pilot whose knack for building something out of nothing makes him the indispensible "Manufacturer."

These rich characterizations, along with a wealth of suspenseful situations and some great comedy relief, keep things rolling along until the night of the big breakout, which is one of the most gripping sequences ever filmed.  Everything that could go wrong does, yet seventy-six men manage to escape before the guards finally get wise and come down on them with guns blazing. 

For the final third of the film we see the escapees desperately trying to make their way out of the country via trains, planes, automobiles, or on foot.  Since we've had so much time to get to know and care about these characters, and empathize with their desire to get back home, their skillfully cross-edited stories pack a substantial emotional payoff--especially when we see them recaptured, killed during flight, or coldbloodedly executed as "spies." 

The post-escape part of the story is the most fictionalized element of THE GREAT ESCAPE, but that's fine with me--the actual events have been augmented with more action and thrills, while maintaining the spirit of what these men went through.  And I can't imagine a sequence in any movie that is more engrossing or involving, for so long, as this one. 

Which brings me to the best part of the film, for me anyway--Steve McQueen's iconic Capt. Virgil Hilts, dubbed "The Cooler King" since his attempted escapes and disrespect for authority keep him locked up in a cell more than anyone else in camp.  At first he's a loner trying to escape independently, whether through the wire or via a wild "human mole" scheme he almost pulls off with his pal Ives, but eventually he comes around and becomes one of the most important participants in Big X's escape plan.  (In actuality, all of the American prisoners were moved to a different part of the camp shortly before the escape, but that's a quibble I'm willing to overlook.)

By the time the escape occurs, we feel almost as confined as the characters themselves and are in need of a catharsis that can only be provided by some good old freewheeling action.  So when Hilts steals a motorcycle and makes a mad, cross-country dash for Switzerland with the Nazis hot on his heels, charging through checkpoints and hurtling airborn over barricades, with Elmer Bernstein's soul-stirring musical score soaring triumphantly in the background, we can feel the delirious rush of freedom.

THE GREAT ESCAPE -- movie review by porfle

THE BEAST IN HEAT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/23/19

 

I guess somebody had to try and outdo ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE SS, and director Luigi Batzella does his darndest with the horrendous Nazisploitation shocker THE BEAST IN HEAT (Severin Films, 1977), a film so irredeemably vile at times that some scenes might even make Dyanne Thorne's legendary blonde torture tart drop her jaw on the floor with a hollow thud.

Macha Magall (THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRUSOE, CASA PRIVITA PER LA SS) plays Dr. Ellen Kratsch, a Nazi scientist whose inhuman gene experiments have turned a once-human test subject into a big, hairy, slobbering troll monster (Sal Boris) who loves it when a beautiful naked woman is tossed into his cage so that he can rape her to death in the most horrific and savagely animalistic manner imaginable (and yes, that includes cannibalism).

I forgot exactly what scientific purpose this serves, but we're talking about the Nazis here so anything goes. Which it does, with all manner of other atrocities going on in Dr. Ellen's laboratory involving captured members of the Italian anti-Nazi underground and their hapless loved ones in an effort to dissuade the group from its disruptive activities. 

If you've seen ILSA, just imagine it as a warm-up for what happens in this super-sordid nightmare of depravity which, if you're like me, will have you on edge waiting for the director to cut away to something else, which he doesn't do.

Meanwhile, the deceptively sweet-looking SS sadist (the delicately-featured Macha Magall as the inhuman torturess is a striking study in contrast) presides gleefully over it all and even takes an active part in the sexual torment of various male prisoners.  Giving what is probably the best performance in the movie, Magall's supremely evil villainess is a real piece of work.

While all this goes on, there's actually an attempt to put on a somewhat normal war movie elsewhere in a nearby Italian village where the underground rebels are trying to rescue their innocent women and children from the clutches of the Nazis. 

It's a rather pedestrian narrative that's directed, as is most of the movie, in an entirely no-frills fashion (but with lovely rustic Italian settings) and, despite overripe acting and some comically bad dubbing, features some fairly exciting and well-staged battle sequences that I found pretty entertaining.

Even here, however, there's the occasional overlap with the other half of the movie, meaning that when the Nazis move into town to round up the women and children, we're treated to more horrors (babies used as target practice, young girls molested and executed) while our main good-guy underground hero is hauled into Dr. Ellen's lab to be subjected to her most perversely sadistic seduction. 

And thus we see the schizophrenic nature of the film, with Nazisploitation at its most extreme (it truly wallows in the deep end of depravity) rubbing shoulders with a rather earnest little war movie that even has its cloyingly sentimental moments. 

But it's that incredible, gibbering human warthog of a rape monster that will really separate those who run screaming from THE BEAST IN HEAT and those who settle in to see if they can endure it.




Buy it from Severin Films

Release date: June 25, 2019
Scanned from 35mm negative elements

Special Features:

    Fascism On A Thread – The Strange Story of Nazisploitation Cinema: A new feature length documentary featuring interviews with Dyanne ‘Ilsa’ Thorne, Malissa ‘Elsa’ Longo, Filmmakers Sergio Garrone, Mariano Caiano, Rino Di Silvestro, Liliana Cavani, Bruno Mattei and many more.
    Nazi Nasty: Interview with Stephen Thrower, Author of MURDEROUS PASSIONS
    Trailer

THE BEAST IN HEAT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/29/32

 

Recently I've begun to develop a perverse enjoyment of extremely cheesy 70s and 80s television shows that I wouldn't have been caught dead watching during their first run. Curious to test my newfound ability to withstand anything the likes of Aaron Spelling could launch at me, I was eager to take on one of the all-time undisputed champeens of cheese, "The Love Boat." So as soon as I got my mitts on the new four-disc, 12-episode DVD collection THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, it was on, baby! DING!

Actually, once you resign yourself to how silly and totally corny it all is, the show isn't that hard to like at all. If you're looking for "Playhouse 90", you're on the wrong boat. And who doesn't want to spend a little time on a cruise ship with a fun-loving crew and dozens of pop culture icons gettin' it on with each other? As one of the first and best of these "Grand Hotel"-style multi-plot, multi-guest star shows, "The Love Boat" is simply a boatload of dumb fun.

The first episode alone features none other than Abe Vigoda and Nancy Walker sharing romantic dialogue on deck with a scenic sunset in the background. Also representing the older set in later episodes are: Ray "Scarecrow" Bolger and Martha "Poli-Grip" Raye as high-school sweethearts who haven't seen each other in forty years; Arthur Godfrey and Minnie Pearl as eloping lovebirds on the run from their overprotective offspring (Elinor Donahue and Warren Berlinger); and Barry Nelson and Nanette Fabray as an empty-nest couple whose plans for a round-the-world vacation are deep-sixed by news of a surprise package.

 

One of the best of the show's December-December flings takes place when rich widow Celeste Holm winds up on the same cruise with her vacationing chauffeur, John Mills, and they discover that they're in love with each other. The awkward situation builds to a romantic crescendo (with that same sunset in the background) which actually has some pretty decent writing for a change, and a couple of seasoned actors with the talent to turn it into something substantial. The director goes in for some tight closeups in this scene because he knows that old pros Holm and Mills are working this material for all it's worth.

On the flip-side, where things are just plain goofy, we get Ron "Horshack" Palillo as a magician filling in for his brother in the ship's lounge and falling for his pretty assistant (Melinda Naud), who, incredibly, returns his affections. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara play harried parents who can't get any private time away from their gaggle of brats, including a fledgling Corey Feldman. Roddy McDowell, surely one of the most ubiquitous actors of all time, plays a constantly sneezing dweeb who discovers he's allergic to his demanding bride-to-be Tammy Grimes. We also get to witness the startling sight of "Match Game" stars Gene Rayburn and Fannie Flagg sucking face like there's no tomorrow while her yappy little dog (the specially-billed "Cricket") tries to come between them. And...omigod...Charo. 'Nuff said.

The biggest surprise is that I didn't remember how serious some of these stories could get. We're talking actual soap-opera-level melodrama here. A man (Randy Mantooth) introduces his girlfriend (Cathy Lee Crosby) to his dad (Robert Mandan)...the girlfriend and the dad fall in love...the son blows his top and dad slaps him! Elsewhere, Craig Stevens is a WWII vet wounded on Omaha Beach, suddenly reunited after all these years with the only woman he ever loved (Cyd Charisse), only to find her attached to some young French stud named Francoise. This is classic "women's picture" stuff just like all the studios were churning out back in the 40s and 50s.

 

Even when Sonny Bono guests as Deacon Dark, a ludicrous cross between Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons, it's played mainly for bathos because Sonny really wants to be a lounge singer (despite resistance from his materialistic manager, Arte Johnson). This is compounded when he meets a cute deaf girl who falls for the real Sonny and "listens" to his sensitive ivory-tinking by feeling the vibrations in his piano. Talk about laying it on with a trowel--you gotta love it!

Gavin McLeod plays Captain Stubing, the distinguished and very proper main man of the Love Boat, and it's nice to see McLeod in a successful starring role after all those years as a second banana on shows like "McHale's Navy" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Too bad he's usually the straight man for his wacky underlings here, since he was always pretty adept at comedy himself. He does get his share of dramatic subplots and sappy love affairs, as evidenced by this hair-curling exchange:

"Hey, hey...eyes as lovely as yours shouldn't be clouded with tears."
"You say the nicest things."
"Only to the nicest people."

Future four-term Iowa congressman Fred Grandy is Yeoman-Purser "Gopher" Smith, easily the biggest idiot on the ship. Gopher takes center stage in some of the silliest stories, as when his supermodel dreamgirl (the always delightful Hayley Mills) comes aboard and he retreats into a Walter Mitty-style fantasy world, or the one in which he overhears a couple of murder-mystery writers (Peter Lawford, Dana Wynter) discussing their next book and thinks they're planning to kill the Captain. Surprisingly, the season finale features Gopher in one of the most dramatic scenes of the whole set when he has an extremely emotional reconciliation with his estranged father (Bob Cummings).

The concept of Bob Cummings and a Godzilla-like Ethel Merman playing Gopher's parents is almost too much to bear, as is the big finale with father and son crooning a comedy version of "Sonny Boy" to each other during the crew's "Talent Night" show. And yet, like everything else that happens on this series, I feel compelled to watch. I guess it's just one of the mysteries of life.

 

As Isaac, the ship's bartender with the chipper attitude and big kid smile, Ted Lange is one of the brightest performers on the show. Isaac is always there to help the passengers get sloppy drunk and to dole out helpful advice when they unload their sob stories on him. I like the episode where Isaac's old friend Reggie Jackson books passage to get away from all the constant fan adoration, only to have his ego crushed when nobody on board recognizes him. But even Isaac has his serious side, which we see when he tries to help a troubled young girl who's a convicted shoplifter by getting her a job in the gift shop. Sure enough, a pair of expensive pearl earrings turn up missing.

Bernie Kopell as ship's medic "Doc" Bricker is another TV veteran who excels at light comedy while also handling some pretty bleak material, such as the episode in which his old surgeon friend (Richard Anderson) is dealing with the loss of an arm in a car crash while his wife (Diana Muldaur), stricken with guilt for having caused the accident, suffers an addiction to prescription drugs. Less turgid and a lot more fun is the time one of Doc's several ex-wives (Tina Louise) hires narcissistic pretty-boy Lyle Waggoner to pose as her new fiance to make Doc jealous.

Lauren Tewes, who, sadly, would later have to leave the show due to her own real-life drug problems, is all winsome and chipper as cruise director Julie McCoy. Her character comes to the fore in one of the set's two feature-length episodes, in which Julie's high-school graduating class has its ten-year reunion on board the ship. This episode is loaded with guest stars and subplots, including a self-destructing alcoholic teacher (Raymond Burr), a wheelchair-bound Viet Nam vet (Michael Cole), his best friend who is wracked with guilt for evading the draft (John Rubinstein), and a heavy-set gal (Conchata Ferrell) who has a fling with Doc until she suspects him of ridiculing her behind her back. Also appearing in this one are Christopher George as a famous TV star and Bob "Gilligan" Denver as the class dork.

Looking cuter than I've ever seen her in anything else, Kim Darby (TRUE GRIT) plays a classmate trying to uncover the identity of a secret admirer within the group's ranks, which gives her an excuse to get romantic with just about all the male guest stars. Julie, meanwhile, shows her ruthless side as she tries to steal handsome disco instructor Michael Lembeck away from a pre-nosejob Lisa Hartman. Much of the episode's later scenes take place during a big disco party, which is typical of the show's obsession with this much-reviled dance craze. There's nothing like seeing a ballroom full of people with absolutely no sense of rhythm boogeying down like a bunch of brain-damaged storks.

In addition to those already mentioned, this collection's incredible roster of guest stars includes Phyllis Davis, "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, Barbara Rush, Elaine Joyce, Bobby Van, Carol Lynley, Hans Conried, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Ben Murphy, Donna Pescow, David Hedison, Juliet Mills, Telma Hopkins, Debbie Allen, Maren Jensen, Dennis Cole, Samantha Eggar, Paul Burke, Arlene Dahl, James Dobson, Leslie Nielsen, Jill St. John, and Charlie Callas. Ken Berry and Beth Howland star in one of the show's most moving segments about a woman who is trying in vain to be accepted by the daughters of the widower she's just married. Howland, of TV's "Alice", is particularly good here.

Aside from the opening titles and some of the stock footage used on the show, the picture quality here is pretty good. The DVD image is 4.3 full-screen with Dolby Digital sound. English and Spanish subtitles and closed-captioning are available. Each episode comes with its original promo, which is the set's sole bonus feature.

By the time I got to the final episodes of THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, I was actually looking forward to the next sappy romantic adventures aboard the Pacific Princess. Not only that, but I caught myself singing along with the theme song! Aaron Spelling strikes again, and another hapless TV junkie winds up with a Gopher on his back.

THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO -- DVD Review by Porfle

ALL THE SINS OF SODOM/ VIBRATIONS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/25/17

 

Hardly as lurid as the title suggests, ALL THE SINS OF SODOM (Film Movement Classics) is pioneering sexploitation filmmaker Joe Sarno's visually seductive offering of forbidden sex-infused drama to inquisitive film audiences in the still-restrictive world of 1968 adult cinema. 

It's the work of a filmmaker who's already a master of exceeding the limitations of his budget and resources by sheer talent and imagination alone, crafting a quietly gripping story that takes place almost entirely within the confines of a New York photographic studio with a cast you can count on your fingers and backdrops often consisting only of artfully-lit walls ("limbo sets" as he called them).

Sarno's story is simple, giving him plenty of room to flex his creative skills.  A photographer named Henning (Dan Machuen) seeks a female model who can convey a kind of primal seduction, both evil and hypnotically compelling.  He thinks he's found such a girl in Leslie (Maria Lease), but although her sweet, bubbly personality causes him to fall for her, she ultimately lacks the qualities as a model that he's so desperately seeking.

Enter dark, mysterious Joyce (Sue Akers)--sort of a cross between Raquel Welch and Gina Gershon--referred to Henning by his sisterly agent (Sarno's real-life wife Peggy Steffans) due to what she recognizes in Joyce as an inner core of wanton, narcissistic sexuality and irresistible animal magnetism. 

Henning will be ecstatic over what he comes to regard as the perfect model for his project, teaming her in steamy photo shoots with Leslie, but won't see it coming when Joyce eventually reveals herself to be a negative force in the lives of both him and everyone else she comes into sexual contact with--including the hapless Leslie and another female model, both helpless to resist Joyce's eerily seductive influence.

Much of this takes place in a shadowy world in which the simple studio often looks like something out of a David Lynch fantasy.  Sarno, who disliked hardcore porn, pushes the limits of what would be known as "softcore" or "hard R" while still making each erotic sequence a valid part of the narrative rather than a story-halting intrusion. 

Sex between Henning and Leslie early in the film is in his brightly-lit bedroom and is stark and functional.  Later, under Joyce's wild, earthy, and perhaps even evil influence, the action is strewn with inky shadows and emanates a sort of fever dream quality as various combinations of participants seem helplessly trapped within Joyce's web of desire.

Sarno displays an instinctive eye for shooting the most exquisite arthouse stuff, seemingly without even trying. His cameraman Steve Silverman's razor-sharp, low-budget black-and-white photography here is gorgeous--moody, evocative, dreamlike (the print is beautifully restored from an unearthed original negative)--and Sarno directs with both a confident expertise and a sublime simplicity.  Even when his scenes only involve two or three actors in a stark set, they're a visual indulgence.

He fully exploits the abilities of his actors, who perform their roles here with surprising subtlety, sensitivity, and depth.  This is especially true for likable Maria Lease ("Leslie"), who would go on to have quite a career in movies (DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS) and TV on both sides of the camera.

Sarno's dialogue is terse, realistic, rarely overplayed.  He could definitely go big and loud (VAMPIRE ECSTASY, SIN YOU SINNERS) or comically colorful (CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE) when he wanted to, but this time it's all about taking in faces and moments and losing yourself in them. 

You'll see the ending of ALL THE SINS OF SODOM coming, but it's no less effective for its inevitability, nor is the journey there ever less than a rich cinematic treat for the adventuresome viewer.

Sarno's VIBRATIONS, made earlier the same year as ALL THE SINS IN SODOM (1968) and using the same interiors, isn't quite as dark and serious, but it's a delightfully engaging watch with plenty of sexual angst nonetheless.

Somewhat lighter and brighter (except for some lush bedroom scenes which give us that shadowy look with its stark contrasts and artful compositions), Steve Silverman's black-and-white photography is crisp and beautiful and positively gleaming with a nostalgic late-60s glow.  

Simplicity in set design and story is again the order of the day as Barbara (winsome Maria Lease again) moves into a small New York apartment to pursue her fading ambitions as a poet while earning money typing up manuscripts for other frustrated writers. 

Complications ensue when her irresponsible, oversexed sister Julie (Marianne Prevost) shows up looking for a place to stay as well as some action--including rekindling a long-ago incestuous relationship (a subject Sarno would revisit years later in CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE) that the reserved Barbara now wants no part of.

Meanwhile, buzzing noises and moans of sexual pleasure emanate from the apartment next door, which, according to mousey landlady Edna (Sarno's wife Peggy Steffans again), an enigmatic young woman named Georgia (Rita Bennett) is renting to use as a storage room. 

But it turns out she's using it for intense sexual escapades (with the help of some fast friends including a big, noisy vibrator) which will just naturally come to include hot-to-trot Julie and then, after much agonizing and soul-searching, the timid but love-starved Barbara herself.

Acting honors once again go to Maria Lease as her sadly neurotic Barbara character is put through the emotional mill, no thanks to her perverted fun-girl sister.  She yearns for a normal love life, perhaps with her nice neighbor who's paying her to type up some of his literary tripe and has expressed romantic interest (which slutty sis promptly derails). 

She's pretty much matched by Marianne Prevost as reprehensible but perversely amusing sister Julie.  ALL THE SINS OF SODOM alumni Dan Machuen and Sue Akers return as two of the girl next door's adventurous sex partners, who end up treating the ever-willing Julie like a brand new ride at Disneyland. 

VIBRATIONS has more sex scenes than ALL THE SINS IN SODOM--a lot more--and they're way steamier.  Eventually, the bits of story between them become shorter and shorter until finally the sex scenes themselves become the story.  I'm not sure if the way things turn out constitutes a "happy ending" per se, but it's poetic justice for the sisters.  Especially Julie, who definitely gets quite a buzz out of it all.

Bonus features:
"All the Sins of Sodom" commentary by Peggy Steffans-Sarno
Interview with Director, Joseph W. Sarno
"Vibrations" commentary by film historian Tim Lucas
"Vibrations" mini-commentary by Peggy Steffans-Sarno
Collector's booklet featuring liner notes by Tim Lucas
Trailers from these and other Sarno films

www.filmmovement.com

All The Sins of Sodom Trailer

Vibrations Trailer

ALL THE SINS OF SODOM/ VIBRATIONS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE MUMMY (1932) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/5/17

 

THE MUMMY (1932) stars Boris Karloff, receiving sole over-the-title billing here only a year after FRANKENSTEIN plucked him from relative obscurity.

He plays Im-ho-tep, an Egyptian high priest who was mummified alive for the sacrilege of trying to use the Scroll of Thoth to bring his dead Princess Ankh-es-en-amon back to life.

Thousands of years later his tomb is discovered by archeologists led by Sir Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron), and when a junior member of the team reads aloud from the Scroll of Thoth, the mummified Im-ho-tep returns to life in one of the creepiest and coolest scenes in the Golden Age of Horror. 

The poor assistant is driven stark raving mad when the crumbling corpse emerges from his sarcophagus, grabs the scroll, and shuffles off to Buffalo (or its Egyptian equivalent, anyway), bestowing screen immortality upon the actor, Bramwell Fletcher, playing the unfortunate lad who would later die laughing in an insane asylum.

Jack Pierce's makeup job on Karloff here is magnificent, but after one really great close-up (a dummy is used in the wide shots), we never get to see it again.

For the rest of the film Karloff appears sans wrappings (but with another fine, densely-wrinkled makeup job by Pierce) under the guise of the fez-headed Ardeth Bay, a mysterious Egyptian who shows up years later to lead the archeological team of Whemple's son Frank (David Manners) straight to the tomb of Princess Ankh-es-en-amon.

With the recovery of her mummy and the Scroll of Thoth, Ardeth Bay plans to bring his ancient princess back to life--until he discovers that her soul has been reincarnated in the body of young Helen Grosvenor (the fascinatingly-eccentric actress Zita Johann), whom he now begins to lure into his sinister clutches.

Sir Joseph Whemple and his son Frank discover Bay's intentions and try to foil them, with the help of a wise old expert in the Egyptian occult named Dr. Muller (Edward Van Sloan).

Unlike FRANKENSTEIN and THE WOLF MAN, there was no basis in literature or folklore for the character of the living mummy. In fact, the original script by Nina Wilcox Putnam was based on the life of French mystic Cagliostro, who claimed to have been several centuries old.

But due to the sensation caused by the discovery of King Tut's tomb, the script was changed to take advantage of the public's mummy-mania at the time and present Karloff as the undying Im-ho-tep.

It was also heavily influenced by the previous year's DRACULA with Bela Lugosi, containing many of the same story elements right down to the almost-identical characters played by Edward Van Sloan and David Manners, and the replacement of the crucifix with an Egyptian ankh as a talisman against evil.

The cinematographer on DRACULA and a major influence on its look (especially in the early scenes in Dracula's castle) was German filmmaker Karl Freund, and THE MUMMY marked his first official stint in the director's chair.

He gave the film its beautifully somber, almost expressionistic look and a deliberately-paced restraint that make it--as it has been called--a "tone poem" of horror as opposed to the more lurid and over-the-top offerings in the genre.

Today, unfortunately, many viewers find it too slow and boring to sit through. But those whose attention spans encompass an old-style form of storytelling that offers a wealth of exquisite subtlety and mood over visceral sensation, not to mention a great performance by Karloff, will most likely find THE MUMMY to be one of the finest horror films ever made.


Read our overview of the entire original Universal Mummy series

THE MUMMY (1932)
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-mummy-1932-movie-review-by-porfle.html

THE MUMMY'S HAND (1940)
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-mummys-hand-1940-movie-review-by.html

THE MUMMY'S TOMB (1942)
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-mummys-tomb-1942-movie-review-by.html

THE MUMMY'S GHOST (1944)
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-mummys-ghost-1944-movie-review-by.html

THE MUMMY'S CURSE (1944)
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-mummys-curse-1944-movie-review-by.html

THE MUMMY (1932) -- Movie Review by Porfle