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Friday, December 4, 2009

I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?: T-shirts That Appeared Uncensored on MTV’s Jersey Shore Premiere by Jessica Friedman

Last night, MTV premiered a show entitled “Jersey Shore” that featured eight Italian people sharing a house in a Real-World style set-up at the Jersey Shore (or “the Shore,” as we say in Philadelphia). While I enjoyed many elements of the trashtastic program (the characters and their clothing choices, the duck phone (I want one!), and the hilarious one-liners of the self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes”), I became fascinated by the multitude of trashy and downright vulgar t-shirts that were frequently shown while the cast was working at a typical Jersey shore shop. Trust me, I know these sorts of stores, and have seen many shirts (and butt shorts!) just like the ones depicted while on vacation in Wildwood and Ocean City. However, I was completely shocked that MTV was barely blurring out any of the shirts listed below.

Here is but a sampling of the clothing available at this particular shop at the Jersey Shore (WARNING: NSFW language below—it is trashy Jersey humor after all):

Adult t-shirts-

-I shaved my balls for this?

(Apparently, this is quite the popular t-shirt. However, the mugshot photo above of some guy wearing the shirt clearly demonstrates that shaving your balls does not lead to a get out of jail free card!)

-I’m huge in Japan!

-I look like a movie star

I party like a rock star

and I do it like a porn star

-Help Wanted

Many Positions Available

Start right away! *image of random sexual positions*


or its going in your eye(s?)

-If you see da’ police

Warn a Brother *WB Logo*

-New Jersey

The Garden State *image of marijuana leaf*

-Getting’ Dirty in Jersey

-New Jersey is for Dirty Sluts!

-You have plenty of change

you homeless piece of shit

Thanks for asking

-Made in Jersey from Italian Parts *image of Italy*

-Let’s flip a coin

heads I get tail

tails I get head

-He’s hung like a hamster

-An ERECTION is a terrible thing to waste

-If your tits were as big as your ass I might be impressed

-Hopeless Romantic seeks filthy whore

-I’m no gynecologist but I’ll take a look

-New Jersey Don’t worry we hate you too!

-Jersey girls don’t pump gas!

-I support Single Moms *image of a stripper*

-You’d be a lot hotter with a paper bag over your head

-M*I*L*F Hunter

-The Real Shocker *image of fist*

-He loves the cock

-Will buy drink for pussy (blurred out in some shots)

-Everything’s DIRTIER in Jersey

-Go Get Your Fuckin’ Shinebox

-The “Shocker” *image of hand gesture*

-New Jersey We don’t pump our gas, we pump our fists

Children’s/Baby shirts (yes, these do exist for kids):

-Take me to the titty bar

-Playground PIMP

-I’m hung like a 5 year old

-I’m the product of a one night stand

-Bitch better have my bottle

-My mom puts out

-Nice tits


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