Last night, MTV premiered a show entitled “Jersey Shore” that featured eight Italian people sharing a house in a Real-World style set-up at the Jersey Shore (or “the Shore,” as we say in Philadelphia). While I enjoyed many elements of the trashtastic program (the characters and their clothing choices, the duck phone (I want one!), and the hilarious one-liners of the self-proclaimed “guidos” and “guidettes”), I became fascinated by the multitude of trashy and downright vulgar t-shirts that were frequently shown while the cast was working at a typical Jersey shore shop. Trust me, I know these sorts of stores, and have seen many shirts (and butt shorts!) just like the ones depicted while on vacation in Wildwood and Ocean City. However, I was completely shocked that MTV was barely blurring out any of the shirts listed below.
Here is but a sampling of the clothing available at this particular shop at the Jersey Shore (WARNING: NSFW language below—it is trashy Jersey humor after all):
Adult t-shirts-
-I shaved my balls for this?
(Apparently, this is quite the popular t-shirt. However, the mugshot photo above of some guy wearing the shirt clearly demonstrates that shaving your balls does not lead to a get out of jail free card!)
-I’m huge in Japan!
-I look like a movie star
I party like a rock star
and I do it like a porn star
-Help Wanted
Many Positions Available
Start right away! *image of random sexual positions*
-SWALLOW
or its going in your eye(s?)
-If you see da’ police
Warn a Brother *WB Logo*
-New Jersey
The Garden State *image of marijuana leaf*
-Getting’ Dirty in Jersey
-New Jersey is for Dirty Sluts!
-You have plenty of change
you homeless piece of shit
Thanks for asking
-Made in Jersey from Italian Parts *image of Italy*
-Let’s flip a coin
heads I get tail
tails I get head
-He’s hung like a hamster
-An ERECTION is a terrible thing to waste
-If your tits were as big as your ass I might be impressed
-Hopeless Romantic seeks filthy whore
-I’m no gynecologist but I’ll take a look
-New Jersey Don’t worry we hate you too!
-Jersey girls don’t pump gas!
-I support Single Moms *image of a stripper*
-You’d be a lot hotter with a paper bag over your head
-M*I*L*F Hunter
-The Real Shocker *image of fist*
-He loves the cock
-Will buy drink for pussy (blurred out in some shots)
-Everything’s DIRTIER in Jersey
-Go Get Your Fuckin’ Shinebox
-The “Shocker” *image of hand gesture*
-New Jersey We don’t pump our gas, we pump our fists
Children’s/Baby shirts (yes, these do exist for kids):
-Take me to the titty bar
-Playground PIMP
-I’m hung like a 5 year old
-I’m the product of a one night stand
-Bitch better have my bottle
-My mom puts out
-Nice tits
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