TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 9/2/2017

 

I continue to find the cinematic output of prolific Spanish filmmaker Jess Franco to be a mild diversion at best, as in VAMPYROS LESBOS and SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY.  (Or at worst, as in PAULA-PAULA.)

But whatever it is about Franco's work that has attracted so many avid followers over the years, they're likely to find it in his 1980 softcore-sex-and-spy potboiler TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES, aka "Ópalo de fuego".

As usual, Franco shoots with a half-artistic, half-artless style that's slapdash one moment and somewhat striking the next--owing some of the latter, it seems, to good fortune.  The shaky zooms and pans characteristic of his work go hand-in-hand with some shots that have sort of a rough-hewn arthouse look.

Franco's lifelong love Lina Romay (THE HOT NIGHTS OF LINDA) stars as Cecile, an exotic dancer whose year-long prison sentence for "indecency" will be erased if she agrees to go to the Canary Islands and spy on some suspected sex-slavers for the French secret service. 

Cecile agrees and, along with her beautiful but airheaded dancing partner Brigitte, is soon occupying a posh hotel suite next to the mansion of main suspects Mr. and Mrs. Forbes.

They also end up dancing (if you can call it that) in the Forbes' swank nightclub where Cecile's contact, Milton, also works.  Milton's one of those "is he or isn't he?" characters who's gay one minute and straight the next, and some comedy is derived from Brigitte becoming infatuated with and practically raping him.

Franco, in fact, seems to enjoy juxtaposing such lighthearted scenes with those of rape (the Forbeses breaking in a new captive meant to be sold as sex slave to some perverted millionaire) and sadism (a captured Cecile being sexually tortured by evil Forbes henchwomen who enjoy inflicting pain).

While there's certainly nothing here on the level of one of the "Ilsa" flicks, some scenes are quite startling in their strong content compared to the almost innocuous spy antics of the rest of the film.

For the most part, however, TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES is pretty unremarkable as either comedy or suspense thriller.  While passable entertainment for the patient viewer, many scenes tend to drag, even those meant to be erotic (as when Mr. and Mrs. Forbes hash out their weird marital sex problems).

The film's main appeal, as it were, is a likable performance by the voluptuous Romay, portraying a character whose lack of spy smarts is made up for by tons of spunk and a kind of fearless innocence. 

Some political intrigue and a couple of shocking murders (with more of that jarring torture which seems almost out of place) build to a fairly lively action climax involving members of a hippie/biker commune who have taken a liking to Cecile and decided to come to her rescue.

The 2-disc set from Severin Films (with reversible box cover) contains the movie proper on Blu-ray disc, in both English and French with English subtitles.  In addition to a trailer and some silent outtakes, the bonus menu contains interviews with Franco and film composer Daniel White, along with an informative and insightful look at the film by Stephen Thrower.

Disc two (DVD) is the alternate cut of the film entitled "Ópalo de fuego" which differs considerably, containing much that is missing from the longer cut while also lacking many of its key scenes, especially those of a sexual nature.  The reason for this odd alternate cut is a mystery even to Franco expert Thrower, making it an interesting novelty.

Generally speaking, this tepid spy adventure barely gets by on Lina Romay's charm and a wealth of nudity and twisted eroticism.  But as a Jess Franco film, TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES will no doubt be of great interest to those who find the study of both him and the evolution of his filmography to be an object of endless fascination.

Buy it at Severin Films

TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 1/24/11

 

 

Incredibly prolific Spanish filmmaker Jesús "Jess" Franco has a devoted following, but the uninitiated might be puzzled as to why after watching THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF (1973).  It's not an awful film, just exceedingly bland.

Montserrat Prous plays Melissa Comfort, an heiress who has been paralyzed from birth.  Plagued by a recurring nightmare in which she wanders the darkened mansion as a little girl and witnesses the violent death of her late father (Franco himself in a cameo role), Melissa is placed in the care of eminent psychiatrist Dr. Orloff (William Berger) by her aunt, Lady Flora Comfort. 

It soon becomes apparent that there's a plot against Melissa which may involve members of her own family, including her Aunt Flora, step-sister Martha, and perhaps even Dr. Orloff himself.  Melissa is aided by faithful servant Mathews (José Manuel Martín) and a concerned neighbor, pop star Sweet Davey Brown.  But when people around her start dying off one by one, it may be only a matter of time before she's next.  The question is--who's really doing the killing?

 

 

The third of Franco's "Dr. Orloff" films, this is remarkably tame stuff for someone known for his exploitation flicks.  The slow-moving story features the occasional murder, but all are quick and relatively bloodless.  Aside from an incidental glimpse of nudity during one of the killings, there's nothing here that one couldn't find in a standard made-for-TV thriller from the era.

A reliance on handheld camerawork and shaky zooms gives the film a crude look, although it's hardly unwatchable.  Franco does display a few flashes of imagination in his direction and keeps things moving along well enough that patient viewers won't have much trouble sticking with it to the end.  The story itself is utterly predictable and there's little actual suspense until the mildly exciting finale, all of which is accompanied by a melodramatic organ and piano score.

Performances are adequate for this type of movie, though it's admittedly hard to judge the actors' dialogue delivery since I understand very little Spanish.  William Berger isn't all that sinister as Orloff and is, in fact, pretty dull, even when we get a closeup of those titular eyeballs.  Montserrat Prous is okay as Melissa--more interesting, though, are Loreta Tovar and the lovely Kali Hansa as spoiled socialites Martha and Aunt Flora.

 

 

 

As Davey Brown, Robert Wood is notable mainly for his awful 70s wardrobe and insipid singing.  His scenes with Edmund Purdom as Inspector Crosby, in which Davey struggles to convince the policeman that something rotten is going on in the Comfort manor, give the film what scant comedy relief it has.  Franco regular Lina Romay appears briefly as Davey's girlfriend.

The DVD from Intervision is full-screen with Dolby 2.0 Spanish mono soundtrack and English subtitles.  Picture quality is good although that Eastmancolor doesn't age very well.  On my copy, the subtitles disappeared for a few minutes around the 46-minute mark.  The bonus feature is a recent 18-minute interview with Jess Franco. 

THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF is a nice low-budget effort that's fairly painless to sit through if you keep your expectations low.  Just don't expect it to be very sinister. 

THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF -- DVD Review by Porfle

PAULA-PAULA -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/29/11

 

For his 209th movie, prolific Spanish director Jesús "Jess" Franco has made what he calls "an audio-visual experience" entitled PAULA-PAULA (2010).  In literal terms I suppose that's an accurate way to describe it, but holy cats, is this thing boring.  You could probably have an equally rewarding audio-visual experience by putting an album on and watching a lava lamp for an hour.

The story begins with a distraught, disoriented Paula (Carmen Montes) being taken into custody, apparently for having killed her friend who was also named Paula (Paula Davis).  Under questioning by a female officer (a briefly-seen Lina Romay), Paula-1 claims not to have done it although she hated her.  Then she lets slip that she has tried to kill her numerous times without success.

Later, we see Paula-1 dancing naked in a room, aware that a young police sergeant is peeking through the door.  If I had to choose a favorite part of the movie it would be this scene, since Carmen Montes is beautiful, has a great body, and isn't moving in super slow-motion.
 

Intercut with this are flashbacks of Paula-2 dancing in an apartment.  She wears a belly-dancer's outfit and undulates in front of a silver mylar backdrop, moving ever-so-slowly as a mirrored split-screen effect turns her body into abstract shapes.  Sitting in a chair in a revealing dress, Paula-1 watches her with fascination.  From this point on, the pace becomes practically glacial.

About halfway through, Paula-1 relates a brief story which will come into play at the end.  Then the two Paulas finally get together for about twenty minutes of mild softcore sex, all in maddening slow-motion that had me struggling to stay awake.  (This is the first film I've seen in ages that literally put me to sleep.)  After some more split-screen effects, PAULA-PAULA mercifully ends pretty much the way we expect it to.

This is the sort of thing you might've stumbled onto a roomful of stoned hippies watching back in the 60s while muttering "wow, man..."  With much of the film's running time consisting of plotless, enervating visuals, I began to appreciate the hot freeform jazz score by Friederich Gulda which plays continuously with no direct connection with the actions onscreen.


The DVD from Intervision is in widescreen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  Language is Spanish with English subtitles.  Extras consist of three Franco featurettes--an introduction to the film, a more detailed discussion of it, and, most interesting, the venerable director's thoughts on the state of contemporary filmmaking.

According to the titles, this is based on Stevenson's Jekyll and Hyde story, but it might as well have been based on "Green Eggs and Ham" for all the relevance this has to the film.  Although PAULA-PAULA seemingly aspires to be a cinematic equivalent to its frenetic jazz score, what it basically amounts to is Jess Franco dicking around for 67 minutes.

PAULA-PAULA -- DVD Review by Porfle

COUNT DRACULA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

(Originally posted 12/19/2015)

 

For prolific Spanish cult director Jesus "Jess" Franco, COUNT DRACULA (1970) was a welcome venture into classier territory than that found in his more exploitative efforts such as BLOODY MOON and THE HOT NIGHTS OF LINDA. 

Not only that, but it served as a vehicle for Christopher Lee to finally get to play the character of Dracula closer to the original Bram Stoker version, with more of the novel's dialogue (at least in the early scenes in Dracula's castle during which he tells Jonathan Harker of his family history) and a Dracula who more closely resembles the one described by Stoker. 

Shot in Spain, the film (now available on Blu-ray and DVD from Severin Films) benefits not only from some terrific found locations that add immeasurably to to its production values, but also from a top-notch cast headed by Lee and the equally venerable Herbert Lom as Professor Van Helsing, who now runs the clinic at which Dr. Seward (Paul Muller) works and where a grievously distraught Harker (Fred Williams) ends up after his ordeal at Castle Dracula.

How Dracula happens to move into the very estate that borders the clinic where Harker ends up after his escape is best left unpondered while we enjoy this dry and slow-moving, yet somehow involving retelling of the famous tale through Franco's restless lens.  As usual, his camerawork is largely fluid and informal, and rife with crude zooms that keep us up close and personal with the characters. 

In addition to American good guy Quincey Morris (Jack Taylor), we also meet his bride-to-be Lucy (exotic Soledad Miranda, later to star in Franco's VAMPIROS LESBOS and SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY) and her friend Mina (the beautiful Maria Rohm), who will both be targets for Dracula's nocturnal bloodlust while they stay at the clinic looking after Mina's ailing fiance' Jonathan.  (Franco himself plays a weaselly orderly). 

Of great interest to fans of eccentric actor Klaus Kinski, who would later sprout fangs himself as NOSFERATU THE VAMPYRE (1979), is his presence here as Renfield, the celebrated "fly eater" played in the 1931 version by Dwight Frye.  Kinski is allowed to indulge himself in the role, resulting in a lot of "Look at me, I'm acting!" moments in which he improvs aimlessly and fiddles with his hair a lot. 

 

The two leading ladies acquit themselves well, especially Soledad Miranda whose Lucy is Dracula's main interest early on and is the victim of several nighttime attacks.  Lom is his usual solid, dependable presence as our main representative of good and resident vampire expert. 

As for Lee, it's of great interest to see the differences between this and his earlier star-making turn in Hammer's 1958 DRACULA (known in the USA as HORROR OF DRACULA).  He's less imposing here than the frightening, feral Count of twelve years before, and looks a bit awkward without the flowing cape, yet there's a greater depth to the character which makes him interesting. 

Franco's staging of several scenes (edited by fellow cult director Bruno Mattei of such films as ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE JAIL: THE WOMEN'S HELL, ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING, IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS, and MONDO CANNIBAL) is visceral and grotesque, especially the staking and beheading of the undead (including the Count's trio of not-so-bashful brides).  The ending is less frenetic than the confrontation between Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing's Van Helsing in the Hammer version, but is satisfying nonetheless and closer to that described by Stoker.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is full screen HD with Dolby 2.0 English soundtrack.  No subtitles.  A commentary track featuring actress Maria Rohm and film historian David Del Valle is both informative and at times rather charming.  Extras also include an avant-garde behind-the-scenes documentary entitled "Cuadecuc, Vampir" (75 min.), directed by Pere Portabella, which reinterprets Franco's film in grainy black-and-white images that are often more eerie and atmospheric than the original.

In addition to this are interviews with castmembers Fred Williams and Jack Taylor, and director Jess Franco himself.  French filmmaker Christophe Gans gives an appreciative assessment of the film and its director in the featurette "Stake Handlers", while Christopher Lee himself offers an emotional reading of the actual Bram Stoker novel.  Rounding out the bonus menu are alternate versions of the film's opening titles in various languages and a German trailer.

Somewhat staid and even a bit dull at times, COUNT DRACULA remains one of Jess Franco's most involving and visually compelling films (of the ones I've seen, anyway) and will definitely prove fascinating to his many ardent fans.  For anyone who appreciates the classic tale of Dracula in whatever form, this is an intriguing, invaluable interpretation which should be seen. 


Stills used are not taken from the Blu-ray

COUNT DRACULA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 12/5/14

 

It's the same old story...senator's daughter gets kidnapped by cannibals in the Amazon jungle, a group of hardened commandos armed to the teeth must go in to rescue her.

But with exploitation director Bruno Mattei (HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD, CAGED WOMEN, RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR, SS EXTERMINATION LOVE CAMP) at the helm--working under the name "Martin Miller"--that same old story has a cockeyed, oddball approach all its own, and IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS, aka "Land of Death", "Nella terra dei cannibali", and "Cannibal Holocaust 3: Cannibal vs. Commando" (2003), will either bore you silly or have you floating on a cloud of bad-movie bliss.

Like his other cannibal epic from the same year, MONDO CANNIBAL, this was shot entirely in the Philipines and actually boasts some dandy jungle locations. It's also pleasantly passable in certain other areas such as nice camerawork, a rousing musical score, and an overall look that transcends what must have been a pretty low budget.

Unfortunately, this culinary curio also displays the usual wooden acting, horrendous dubbing, and richly dumb (but enjoyably so) dialogue that we expect from one of these potluck potboilers.

After we meet the two main characters--brawny head commando Lt. Wilson (Lou Randall) and his surly, know-it-all jungle guide, a local mercenary named Romero (Claudio Morales, co-star of MONDO CANNIBAL)--they and the rest of their trigger-happy team are transported via helicopter into a harrowing jungle nightmare festooned with flesh-eating, poisoned-arrow-shooting natives crawling out of the shrubbery at every turn.

Mattei tries to invoke an ALIENS atmosphere at first with cool-as-ice Romero napping peacefully in the chopper before they all rappel into the bush (an act described as "an elevator into hell") and stiff-necked Lt. Wilson being exposed as a novice whose combat experience has been mostly simulated.

There's also a tough-cookie female commando named, oddly enough, "Vasquez" (Ydalia Suarez) and a no-nonsense black sergeant, Sgt. Cameron (Silvio Jimenez)--as in "James Cameron" for those keeping score. The other two guys, Kruger and Smith, are pretty non-descript, although I think one of them is Irish. Anyway, any in-depth character development that may occur during this story is entirely accidental.

Once the commandos start nosing around in the jungle looking for the lost senator's daughter and her hapless entourage, things get rather boring (I found myself nodding off a few times) until they begin to encounter different tribes who respond to them with varying degrees of hostility. Mattei tries to shock us with close-ups of wormy, decaying bodies, several having been skinned alive, and people gorging themselves on some really nasty stuff.

What there's precious little of in IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS, surprisingly enough, is actual cannibalism. It's hardly the gorefest that its counterpart MONDO CANNIBAL was, going instead for more of an action-packed shoot 'em up vibe.

Once our heroes locate and abscond with their prize, Sara Armstrong (Cindy Matic), now regarded by her superstitious captors as some kind of mystical creature due to her blonde hair (shades of KING KONG and no doubt scores of other jungle yarns), the film becomes a non-stop orgy of bullet-riddled fun as seemingly hundreds of cannibalistic creeps get mowed down by machine guns and grenades galore.

This furious finale, with everyone trying to "Ged to da choppa!" PREDATOR-style, is all pretty low-tech, no-squibs action--the extras simply pretend to get shot up all over the place and the commandos empty clip after clip into them while dodging arrows and spears. As is traditional in this sort of action flick, we see our favorite characters cut down one by one as we wonder who the final survivor or survivors will be.

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in full frame with Dolby Digital stereo sound. No subtitles. The only bonus feature is a trailer.

While taking itself seriously as an action thriller, IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS is the kind of movie that's so dumb, it's almost indistinguishable from a deadpan comedy. Maybe that, in addition to the fact that it's well-made enough to be mildly watchable, is why I managed to derive a few palatable tidbits of entertainment value from it.

IN THE LAND OF THE CANNIBALS -- DVD Review by Porfle