Originally posted on 5/16/21
Originally posted on 5/16/21
BEACH PARTY (1963) -- Movie Review by Porfle
Originally posted on 5/7/09
I'm fascinated by the early days of television, and you can't get much earlier, or more fascinating, than SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION.
This is Jurassic TV, a primitive-looking, melodramatic thriller anthology that premiered in 1949 and lasted for 260 live, half-hour episodes until 1954. Ninety of those episodes have been unearthed and are now available in this 12-disc set which spans the series' entire run.
As in any anthology series, the quality of the writing varies--in fact, some of the stories are clunkers. But for the most part, these episodes are consistantly exciting and imaginative, and live up to the series' title with stories that quickly establish a suspenseful situation and then keep us on edge till the end.
Several stories are adapted from the works of authors such as Robert Louis Stevenson and Edgar Allan Poe. Rod Serling's contribution, the eerie "Nightmare at Ground Zero", is a tense and unsettling atom-bomb tale that really stretches the limits of live television.
Knowing that these teleplays were performed live gives them the immediacy of theater combined with the intimacy of television. You can imagine the actors and crew rushing into their next set-ups during a slow dissolve, and sometimes you can hear them doing it, too.
Gaffes by these skilled actors are few, while the occasional technical blooper is unavoidable. In "The Comic Strip Murder", a piece of equipment can be seen moving past a high-rise balcony like a UFO. In "The Parcel", a stock clip of a crowd enjoying a ballgame runs out before the director can cut to Ray Walston, Royal Dano, and Conrad Janis sitting in a bleacher mock-up. Cues are missed, boom mike shadows flit across walls, focusing is done on the fly, and sometimes you can even spot an errant crew member where he shouldn't be. But mistakes like this are part of the appeal of watching live television, and the fact that there are so few of them in this smoothly produced and directed (mostly by Robert Stevens) series is impressive.
Most of the stories are grounded in reality, with the occasional foray into the supernatural. The very first episode in this collection, "A Night at the Inn" with Boris Karloff, is an unabashedly nutball tale of a gang of thieves stalked by knife-wielding, turban-wearing Indians for stealing a sacred idol's jeweled eye, until the indignant idol itself shows up to reclaim it. Another episode, "Black Passage", features none other than Stella Adler as a hot-blooded Latin vampire and a very young William Prince as the unwary suitor of her equally bloodthirsty daughter.
Hardboiled crime drama rubs shoulders with frequent doses of Hitchcock-style mystery and creepiness, along with the type of macabre irony often found in EC comics. Richard Boone gives a super cool performance as a homicide cop closing in on a medical examiner whose guilt has been inadvertently captured on film in "Photo Finish." In "My Old Man's Badge", Barry Nelson plays a beat cop who singlehandedly takes on a drug-smuggling ring to avenge his father's murder, and in "Dead Fall", he's framed for passing industrial secrets to the Commies.
On the darker side, "Dr. Violet" gives us Hume Cronyn as the proprietor of a carnival murder museum who takes a chillingly active part in his exhibits, while "Dead Ernest" generates suspense by showing us a catatonic man mistakenly pronounced dead and lying on a morgue slab awaiting the embalmer.
One of the main pleasures of watching this collection is its incredible array of familiar faces, from past, present and future stars to the great character actors, often doing brilliant work. Ray Walston (billed as "Wallston" in one episode) and Royal Dano appear several times. Leslie Nielsen, just beginning his career as a dramatic actor which would later give way to comedy, stars in "The Brush Off" with future "Superman" star George Reeves. Boris Karloff shows up more than once and Bela Lugosi gives a delightfully florid performance in an adaptation of Poe's "The Cask of Amantillado."
Other notable names include Paul Newman, Otto Kruger, Kim Hunter, Anne Francis, Lee Marvin, Harold J. Stone, Conrad Janis, Eileen Heckart, Walter Matthau, Eddie Albert, Lloyd Bridges, Mike Kellin, Ward Bond, James Whitmore, Vic Morrow, Jackie Cooper, Brian Keith, Darren McGavin, Franchot Tone, Jack Klugman, Tom Drake, Gene Lyons, Cloris Leachman, Mildred Natwick, Lilli Palmer, Eva Marie Saint, Richard Kiley, Joan Blondell, Jack Palance, Eva Gabor, Peter Mark Richman, Jayne Meadows, Robert Webber, and many more. Several of them make multiple appearances.
These episodes are kinescopes, meaning that a monitor was filmed during the live performances so that copies of each episode could be sent to various network affiliates (this was before videotape or cable). This gives the show a somewhat murky picture and sound quality that is unavoidable; otherwise, however, I think these DVDs look very good.
The 12 discs are contained in six attractive slimline cases which were originally released in three seperate sets, and contain all 90 episodes of the show that are known to exist. The final episode, "The Funmaster" with Keenan Wynn, is the only non-live entry and was aired in 1958, four years after the show's demise, presumably in an effort to revive it.
The musical score for "Suspense" is performed almost entirely on Hammond organ (with the occasional piano, tubular bells, etc.) in the style of the early soap operas, and sounds similar to the music in Herk Harvey's CARNIVAL OF SOULS. As a bonus, almost every episode contains the original commercials for the show's sponsor, Auto-Lite automotive products, featuring dulcet-toned announcer Rex Marshall and a delightfully corny assortment of cartoons and animated clips.
SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION is over 43 hours of pure, unadulterated nostalgia that I found irresistibly entertaining. Whether you're a fan of early TV, or simply curious about what the medium looked like before it began to earn nicknames like "vast wasteland" and "boob tube", this time capsule from television's infancy should give you just the sort of buzz you're looking for. Buy it at
SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle
Originally posted on 10/15/10
It's been so long since I saw the original TROLL, all I remember about it is that it stars Shelley Hack and Sonny Bono, takes place in an apartment building with a troll in it (not Sonny Bono), features John Carl Buechler as both director and makeup effects creator, and, as I was reminded recently, has a kid in it named Harry Potter, Jr. Oh yeah, and there's a pretty cool performance by a little girl named Jenny Beck who at one point gets to be possessed by the title creature.
The in-name-only sequel, TROLL 2, has none of these things. It does, however, share one quality with the original--one of the best performances comes from the kid in the lead role, in this case Michael Stephenson as Joshua Waits, a boy who is visited by the ghost of his deceased grandfather, Seth (Robert Ormsby). Grandpa Seth reads Josh scary bedtime stories about trolls--or, as he calls them, goblins--who assume human form and trick people into eating a gooey substance that turns them into half-human, half-plant hybrids, which is the goblins' favorite food.
Nobody, including Josh's mom (Margo Prey) and step-dad (George Hardy) and his big sister Molly (Connie McFarland), believe him about Grandpa Seth's ghost or his warning that the goblins are real. So when the family travels to the tiny town of Nilbog (catchy name) on a house-swapping vacation and all the local citizens turn out to be goblins looking for their next meal, it's up to Josh and his ghostly gramps to hold the ravenous little buggers at bay until the rest of the clueless family wises up and takes action.

TROLL 2 may have been made in 1990, but in spirit it's still a product of the 80s. From the cheesy score, to sister Molly's awful aerobic workout dance, to her horny boyfriend Elliott (Jason Wright) and his chums who are like braindead refugees from a dull edition of "USA's Up All Night", the film is steeped in that golden decade's kitschy goodness. Not surprisingly, the film known by some as "the best worst movie ever" also glows with the same cheapo charm of a million other junk films of the era that I rented on VHS or watched on late-night cable between used car commercials.
Horror-wise, there's not much on the scary side going on here, with the trolls--sorry, goblins--resembling a bunch of fat little kids in oversized Halloween masks. These are designed to resemble the ones in the first film but clearly lack John Carl Buechler's artistry. There's no gore to speak of, since anyone who ingests the tainted goblin-goo instantly starts bleeding green tree sap and literally vegging out.
The creatures themselves are actually scarier in their mock-human forms, coming off as a cross between the hostile yokels from DELIVERANCE and the pagan farm punks of CHILDREN OF THE CORN. When they surround the Waits family in their vacation house and start slowly closing in, it's a little like something out of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

Technically, TROLL 2 is pretty amateurish, with camerawork, direction, and editing that are definitely not so hot. Yet it remains well-paced and watchable throughout, the story moving at a pretty snappy clip with few draggy spots and little or no padding. The smalltown locations in Utah are certainly atmospheric--just being in this crummy little flyspeck burg would seem nightmarish enough even without the trolls (sorry, goblins).
As for the acting, most of the leads seem to have been recruited from grade-school plays, yet they invest their roles with conviction. I love the awkward, stilted dialogue scenes between Molly and her boyfriend Elliott, who infuriates her by insisting on dragging his buds along on the trip. While these guys aren't so hot in the acting department either, they do make good plant food. One of them even ends up as a potted plant in the lair of Miss Creedence Leonore Gielgud, who turns out to be the evil queen of the trolls (sorry, goblins).
Deborah Reed, whose acting dial is clearly stuck on "eleven", mugs her way through this role with the eye-rolling gusto of a horror-movie hostess. When she's surrounded by her warty minions in the bowels of her inner sanctum, sporting a Technicolor makeup job and playing to the back row like Margaret Hamilton on PCP, the film resembles a particularly demented Sid and Marty Krofft production.

Also of note is Michael Stephenson as Josh, who makes up for his lack of acting polish with an intense performance that oftens has him emoting his little buns off. There's a nice nightmare sequence early on in which his family turn into goblins as he begins to bleed chlorophyll and sprout branches through his fingers and chest. Best of all, though, is when a famished Mom, Dad, and Molly sit down to eat a poisoned dinner and Josh has to act fast in order to stop them. His solution, which was pretty much the last thing I expected, had me howling.
The Blu-Ray/DVD combo labeled "The 20th Anniversary Nilbog Edition" is from MGM and 20th-Century Fox. The Blu-Ray is in English 5.1 DTS-HD master audio and English mono. Features as listed on the box are feature film in high definition, 1080p, lossless audio, smart menu technology, and original theatrical trailer. I reviewed the DVD only, which contains the feature film in standard definition with English mono sound, plus the trailer. Both discs are in 1.85:1 widescreen and offer English, Spanish, and French subtitles.
Like a Halloween spook-house slapped together by a bunch of enthusiastic but drunk neighborhood slobs, TROLL 2 is dumb as a doorknob but engagingly lively and fun right up to its startling conclusion. (And it's one of the few films I've seen in which bologna plays an integral part in the finale.) Although the whole thing threatens to fall apart any second, it never does. In fact, for all its faults, the chewing gum and baling wire ingenuity that holds this creaky creature feature together somehow makes it more entertaining than your usual big-budget bomb.
TROLL 2: THE 20th ANNIVERSARY NILBOG EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle
Originally posted on 12/23/11
Whenever I hear that heavenly chorus singing the title as the camera's eye descends upon the town of Springfield--followed by one of the greatest TV sitcom themes of all time (thanks to Danny Elfman)--I know I'm in for a half-hour of almost supernaturally blissful cartoon comedy. With 20-Century Fox's 4-disc DVD set THE SIMPSONS: THE FOURTEENTH SEASON, I get to experience this heady sensation 22 times!
That may sound a little over-the-top, but aye carumba!, I love this show. Breezy, colorful, and as addictive as only the most delectable mind candy can be, the irreverent and sharply satirical (yet often heartfelt) adventures of Homer and Marge Simpson and their kids Bart, Lisa, and Maggie easily earn a spot in the top ten greatest situation comedy series of all time. Maybe even the top five. Top three? Arguably.
Some fans insist that the long-running show has long been running on fumes, but by season fourteen it was still going strong, netting an impressive array of guest stars, winning Emmys, and serving up some of its most memorable episodes with all the familiar panache. As usual, each one reels us in with some intriguing situation which seems to be the main plotline until it unexpectedly veers into something entirely different.

A family jigsaw-puzzle obsession leads to Homer and Marge's sudden breakup; a disastrous trip to the Springfield Botanical Gardens morphs into a heartwarming love story between baby Maggie and eternal loser Moe the bartender ("Moe Baby Blues"). When movie star Ranier Wolfcastle holds an estate sale to pay off his debts, this gag-filled opening gives no indication of the trauma that will ensue when Marge is mugged on the way home and becomes a trembling agoraphobe hiding out in the family basement ("The Strong Arms of the Ma").
The season comes charging out of the gate with an outstanding Halloween episode, "Treehouse of Horror XIII", featuring three scarifying stories: "Send in the Clones", in which Homer acquires a magic hammock that generates even dumber duplicates of himself; "The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms", which tells what happens when the Old West's baddest outlaws rise from the grave to menace Springfield just after Lisa has succeeded in wiping out all handguns; and "The Island of Dr. Hibbert", a twist on the old H.G. Wells tale which has the Simpsons and other characters being transformed into manimals.
This is followed by one of the series' most celebrated episodes, "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation." After an inebriated Homer is caught dissing his family life on the reality show "Taxicab Conversations", Marge and the kids decide he needs a break and ship him off to a Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp presided over by none other than guest voice talent Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elvis Costello, Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, and Brian Setzer.
"Barting Over" marks the milestone 300th episode (or does it?) with Bart suing to become an emancipated minor and becoming pals with skateboard ace Tony Hawk after moving into his own loft apartment. In "Pray Anything", Homer's ongoing turbulent relationship with God is further explored when he's awarded ownership of the church in an accident suit and turns it into party central.
"Three Gays of the Condo" finds him exploring the world of homosexuality, not to mention his first guy-guy kiss, when yet another tiff with Marge results in him rooming with two gays including guest voice Scott Thompson ("The Kids in the Hall"). Marge's unconscious resentment of Homer surfaces with a string of attempts on his life in "Brake My Wife, Please", featuring the voices of Steve Buscemi, Jackson Brown, and Jane Kaczmarek.

Other episodes in this collection include "Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade", "Large Marge" (a hospital mix-up results in Marge being given huge fake boobs), "Helter Shelter", "The Great Louse Detective", "Special Edna" (regular Marcia Wallace voices Bart's lovelorn teacher Miss Krabappel), "The Dad Who Knew Too Little", "I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can", "A Star is Born Again" (widower Ned Flanders has an affair with Marisa Tomei's sexy movie star character Sara Sloane), "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington" (Krusty the Clown runs for Congress), "C.E. D'oh", "'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky", "Dude, Where's My Ranch?", "Old Yeller-Belly", and "The Bart of War."
Some of the guest voices not already mentioned: Kelsey Grammer (returning as Bart's eternal nemesis Sideshow Bob), Tony Bennett, Jan Hooks, Adam West and Burt Ward, Baha Men, Larry Holmes, David "Squiggy" Lander, Little Richard, Elliot Gould, Pamela Reed, Ken Burns, Lisa Leslie, blink-182, George Plimpton, Jim Brooks, Helen Fielding, Joe Mantegna (as mobster Fat Tony), "Monty Python" star Eric Idle, "Weird Al" Yankovic, David Byrne, Andy Serkis, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Stacy Keach.
In addition to some beautifully designed menus featuring the entire cast being hosted for "dinner" by ravenous aliens Kang and Kodos, the set is overflowing with a wealth of fun special features. These include an introduction by creator Matt Groening (bo-ring!), audio commentaries on all episodes, deleted scenes, lots of featurettes, sketch galleries, and several Easter eggs that can be accessed by pressing the "up" button on individual episode menus. The packaging itself is an eye-pleasing double-sided pictorial foldout containing a sizable information booklet. The only snag is having to fish the discs out of those snug built-in pockets.
Watching THE SIMPSONS: THE FOURTEENTH SEASON is similar to taking a trip through a theme park brimming with childlike delights, like Six Flags or Knott's Berry Farm (but not Dollywood, because Ned Flanders wouldn't approve) without the inconvenience of finding a parking space or having to walk. If you're a Simpsons fan, the rewatchability factor is pretty much endless.
THE SIMPSONS: THE FOURTEENTH SEASON -- DVD Review by Porfle
GONE WITH THE WIND 75TH ANNIVERSARY ULTIMATE COLLECTOR'S EDITION -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle