THE WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted in 2006 

 

Heather (Agnes Bruckner) is a troubled girl who doesn't get along with her mom.  One day she decides to express her pent-up feelings by setting fire to the woods next to her house, almost burning it down.  Now her bitchy, self-centered mom (Emma Campbell) and her sympathetic dad (the redoubtable Bruce Campbell) are taking her to an exclusive and very secluded girls' boarding school in the middle of a dense, dark forest.  Here, in this strict and highly regimented atmosphere deep in THE WOODS (2006), it is hoped that Heather will learn to be a proper young lady who doesn't set things on fire.

Things begin to look creepy right away; the school is a large, foreboding building that is hundreds of years old and has vines growing through all the windows and across the walls, all the teachers are spinsterish former students who are weird, and the headmistress, Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson), is a strange woman who always looks like there's something dark and ominous on her mind.  She gives Heather a peculiar aptitude test, ostensibly to determine whether or not she qualifies for a scholarship.  But, as it turns out later, this test is for a far different purpose altogether.



Heather makes friends with a timid girl named Marcy (Lauren Birkell) and enemies with the school bitch, Samantha (Rachel Nichols), while doing her best to alienate her teachers enough to get sent home.  Meanwhile, she begins to have frightening nightmares about wandering through the dark woods and encountering ghostly figures that come after her.  She also notices that a particular bed in the corner, about four bunks down from hers, is always empty.  It belongs to Ann, a girl who supposedly tried to kill herself a few weeks earlier. 

When Ann finally returns, her wrists wrapped in gauze, she appears haunted and deeply disturbed.  Heather awakens that night to see a thick tangle of vines creeping over the floor toward Ann's bed, covered by a blanket of mist. Was this a dream?  In any case, the next morning Ann's bed is empty once again, save for a pile of leaves shaped like a human body.  Woo-OOO-ooo...!

And things are just getting started.  THE WOODS is an engaging and very well-rendered spook tale that has a few elements in common with SUSPIRIA, and although it isn't quite as scary or as beautiful as Dario Argento's masterpiece, it's still directed with great care and skill by Lucky McKee (MAY) and exquisitely photographed and edited.  It also reminds me of some of those atmospheric Canadian horror flicks I used to watch on cable and VHS back in the early 80s.  And the fact that it's a period piece, taking place in 1965 and featuring some cool Leslie Gore songs including the classic "You Don't Own Me", gives it added ambience. 



It doesn't rely on blood and gore for its scares, but doesn't shy away from it, either--there are some pretty splattery scenes here and there, especially when certain characters start to wield a big, red axe that figures prominently throughout.  And when the woods attack and it's time to crank up the old CGI, it actually looks fairly convincing for a change.

The mystery behind the school deepens as Heather discovers more about its history--mainly the story of three strange girls who emerged from the woods one day about a hundred years earlier and were taken in.  They later turned out to be witches, and began to exert their evil influence in bad ways.  The headmistress at the time tried to stop them, and the main witch introduced her to the big, red axe.  Now, Heather realizes that the school is still in the witch business and is recruiting girls who excell in Ms. Traverse's "aptitude test", and who can hear the voices in the woods calling to them as Heather does. 

In fact, as it turns out, "the force" is particularly strong with Heather and Ms. Traverse has something especially bad planned for her.  And as bad turns to worse, Heather is eventually told that it's her turn to sleep in the empty bed in the corner.  Woo-OOO-ooo...!  (Okay, I'll stop doing that now.)

Agnes Bruckner is an appealing young actress and does a fine job as Heather, and the rest of the cast, both young and old, are outstanding as well.  As Ms. Traverse, Patricia Clarkson is just as good at playing restrained, understated creepiness as she was as Margaret White in the excellent TV remake of CARRIE.  And Bruce Campbell...well, he's Bruce Campbell.  He's great as good ol' Dad, eventually racing to his daughter's rescue as she's trapped in the horrific culmination of the witches' evil machinations.  He even gets to wield the big, red axe!  But watch out, Bruce...as Scotty tried to tell you way back in THE EVIL DEAD:  "But the trees, Ash.  They know.  Don't you see, Ash?  They're alive!"

THE WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/25/11

 

With so many zombie movies out there, it's nice to come across one like SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT (2009) that still has that old zing.  This low-budget indy may have been done with limited locations and resources, but it makes up for any such disadvantages by being both an interesting "people" story and a good old-fashioned undead blowout.

The cast are certainly up to the task--the lead performances are intriguing and fun to watch even when they don't display the kind of finesse that wins big, shiny awards.  Likewise for the script, which actually gives them some interesting dramatic scenes and scintillating character interplay along with the carnage.

Your classic love triangle forms the basis of the plot as two buddy cops, Frank Talbot (Jack Forcinito) and Nash Jackson (Andy Hopper), have a falling out over their mutual interest in Frank's lovely wife Sarah (Nadine Stenovitch).  Meanwhile, a zombie apocalypse is brewing right under their noses, which they seem blissfully unaware of until a little undead girl bites Andy in the foot and Frank shoots his toe off while dispatching her.  (Most of the best scenes between these two guys will occur during zombie attacks.)



Back at Andy's apartment, Frank and Sarah nurse him back to health while the zombies mill around outside and try to get in.  We find that Frank can be a huge S.O.B. but a very handy one to have around, with Forcinito playing the role in a casual and lighthearted way that makes the character likable.  Hopper and Stenovitch both play off him very well and have a good chemistry with each other as Andy and Sarah's illicit love inches toward consummation.  With her intense performance, Stenovitch in particular adds weight to the more serious side of the story.

Action-guy Frank can't resist loading up his shotgun and making a nocturnal foray into zombieland, resulting in some cool kills and an amusing passage in which he makes like Babe Ruth on a few skulls to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."  (Elsewhere, Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is also well used for comic effect.)  More human-type drama ensues when he runs across Jeffrey (Lew Temple) hiding out in his attic after his family has been killed.

Writer-director Sean Cain solves the eternal "fast zombie-slow zombie" dispute with some blah-blah scientific exposition that allows him to feature a pleasing combination of both.  The faster and smarter zombies are led by a snarling, leisure-suit-wearing used car dealer whose roving pack of voracious marauders supply much of the film's giddy menace.  The other zombies are nicely played with a variety of individual attributes in both appearance and behavior, all boasting some excellent makeups which make good use of prosthetics, airbrush, and contact lenses.



Vernon Wells ("Wez" of ROAD WARRIOR fame) and Felissa Rose (SLEEPAWAY CAMP) ramp things up big-time with their late appearance as part of a heavily-armed rescue group locating stray survivors.  Frank, naturally, manages to piss off even these good Samaritans, and his altercation with Felissa gives her an opportunity to deliver some of the best acting I've seen from her in years.  As for Wells--any time Wez shows up in your movie is a good time.

Sean Cain keeps the dramatic scenes interesting and the action scenes full of splattery fun, his lean directorial style perfectly complimented by the no-frills camerawork and editing.  Aside from some quick cuts of exploding heads, nasty bites, and a dismemberment or two, there really isn't a whole lot of over-the-top gore for its own sake, but the film is so suspenseful and the characters such fun to watch that I barely noticed.  Or maybe I really have become desensitized after all these years.

The DVD from Pacific Entertainment is in 16x9 widescreen with Dolby sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras include a commentary with director, producer, and cinematographer, deleted scenes, bloopers, trailers, and a brief Easter egg featuring Vernon Wells.

Neither exceedingly downbeat nor wisecrackingly frivolous, SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT hits just the right tone from the start and just keeps getting better.  If you can appreciate the ambiance of a good B-movie with its heart in the right place, this lively zombie romp should be on your Christmas list.

SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 9/16/11

 

Back in the 80s when I was compulsively renting more videos than I would ever be able to remember, two of Wes Craven's more notorious horror classics passed through my VCR and then went swirling off into the recesses of my mental abyss.  A while back I revisited one of them, THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and found it to be a disappointment.  Now comes the other one, THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977), also enjoying a new DVD release, and this time the revisit is a welcome experience. 

Craven seems to have improved as a filmmaker between these two flicks, and so has his choice of actors.  The look of the film still betrays the low budget and Craven's inexperience, yet there is some style and he does a good job of staging scenes within cramped confines (car, camper trailer) while also taking good advantage of the Mojave desert's wide open spaces.  His cast is better here, too--while their thespian skills aren't always up to par, they handle the more hotly emotional material with abandon. 

Naturally, the older cast members are the most skilled.  Veteran actor John Steadman, best remembered by me as "Pop" in the original THE LONGEST YARD, plays Fred, proprietor of a "last chance" gas station in the middle of nowhere.  Russ Grieve and Virginia Vincent (I WANT TO LIVE!, THE RETURN OF DRACULA) are Bob and Ethel Carter, who stop by for a fill-up before taking their family into the desert while vacationing after Bob's retirement.

Old Fred tries to warn them to stay clear of the area, knowing that there's a family of vicious cannibals out there led by his own son, Jupiter (James Whitworth, TERMINAL ISLAND), a misshapen, split-nosed giant with a mean streak a mile wide.  The Carters, of course, disregard Fred's warnings and are subsequently terrorized by the murderous savages until forced to throw off their veneer of civilization and fight back in kind.

Craven takes his time introducing us to the family, gradually allowing a sense of dread to creep in after they break down in the desert.  While not entirely realistic, they're more three-dimensional and less cartoonish than most of the characters in LAST HOUSE, and the awful comic relief that marred the earlier film is mercifully lacking here. 

The hill people are barely glimpsed at first but their presence is felt as their actions become more overt.  When Bob takes a nocturnal hike to Fred's gas station for help, Jupiter's sudden entrance is a shocker that would be imitated in "Friday the 13th Part 2."  What happens after that is a starkly violent descent into nightmare that keeps the story gripping and fast-paced until the very end.

Future fan fave Dee Wallace makes her third film appearance as Lynne, whose husband Doug (Martin Speer, who resembles a "Simpsons" character) is along for the trip.  Robert Houston plays her brother Bobby Carter, an insecure teen trying to prove himself to a domineering father.  Susan Lanier doesn't make much of an impression at first as flighty younger sister Brenda, but when the action starts and she goes into screaming panic mode, her ability to totally freak out is striking. 

On the other side, James Whitworth is an imposing Jupiter, especially when he's berating a "civilized" captive while munching on his barbecued arm.  Legendary actor Michael Berryman, whose career has spanned everything from ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST and STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME to the more recent THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, lends his eerie Boris Karloff-like countenance to the film and its poster as Pluto.

The attack on the Carters' camper by Pluto and his equally animalistic brother Mars (Lance Gordon) is one of the film's most harrowing setpieces and demonstrates to the viewer that no character is safe from brutal death.  The unnerving capper to the scene is the kidnapping of Lynne's infant daughter as a future feast for the cannibals.

HILLS kicks into high gear when the surviving Carters decide to fight such savagery with a little savagery of their own, proving surprisingly adept and creative at the task even as certain aspects of it are a terrible affront to their humanity.  They're aided in this by Jupiter's daughter, Ruby (Janus Blythe in a fine performance), who rebels against the brutality of her family and puts her own life in danger by helping the strangers. 

Jupiter's final assault on the campers is a thrilling sequence in which they counterattack with amazing ingenuity, but it's the grueling hand-to-hand fight between Doug and Mars which really punctuates all that's gone before (the very last shot is stunningly good).  Here, Craven gives the film one of the most effective abrupt endings I've seen, akin to a writer dotting his last sentence with a sharp jab of the pen.   

The DVD from Image Entertainment's "Midnight Madness" series is in 1.85:1 widescreen with both Dolby 5.1 and original mono sound, and the film looks pretty good for its age.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of a trailer and a chummy commentary with Craven and producer Peter Locke, which appears to be from an earlier release since they thank Anchor Bay at the end.  The two offer lots of good behind-the-scenes info including how difficult it was to secure an "R" rating due to the film's graphic violence and disturbing themes.

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked THE HILLS HAVE EYES upon seeing it again after so many years.  What Craven and Locke accomplished on this trip into the desert with their low budget, small crew, and limited resources remains an impressive achievement that rises above other films of its ilk to provide chilling, suspenseful, and freaky fun.

 

THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) -- DVD Review by Porfle

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 9/11/2011

 

An irresistible treasure trove of blood red Lewis-abilia, Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video's HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE is just about the most absorbing and utterly delightful documentary that fans of the pioneering filmmaker could hope for.  Covering his entire career in exhaustive detail, we're treated to first-hand insider accounts along with a wealth of film clips, outtakes, press materials, and other goodies. 

"Part filmmaker, part carny" describes both Lewis and his longtime partner, producer/distributor David Friedman, who take an active part in the production and supply us with most of the behind-the-scenes information.  A teacher of English and Humanities, Lewis drifted into advertising before buying half interest in a film studio and making his first erotic exploitation film, "The Primetime" in the late 50s.  ("It wasn't the greatest film in the world," says Friedman, "but it had sprocket holes and could run through the machine.")  For his next one, "Living Venus", he discovered frequent star William Kerwin and a young Harvey Korman in a home economics film called "Carving Magic." 

Self-distribution led to screenings in burlesque houses, which then got Lewis and Friedman started making "nudie cuties" (which the documentary's co-director Frank "Basket Case" Henenlotter calls "the stupidest movies ever made.")  Russ Meyer's "The Immoral Mr. Teas" inspired them to expand these short films into nudist-camp features such as "The Adventures of Lucky Pierre" (shot for $8,000) with Lewis and Friedman serving as the entire film crew.



Just about any film or individual mentioned during the narrative is accompanied by clips and/or photos--even "Carving Magic" is briefly seen.  The first part of the film is a concise history of nudie cuties and nudist camp features in the 50s and early 60s, with generous feature clips and behind-the-scenes footage.  Even a nude and surprisingly fit Mal Arnold, who would later play villain Fuad Ramses in "Blood Feast", can be spotted in shots from "Goldilocks and the Three Bares." 

As the novelty value of these films began to wear off, Lewis and Friedman moved on to the next logical frontier of exploitation--gore.  Here we get into the real meat, so to speak, of the documentary, with detailed accounts of the making of "Blood Feast" (1963), "Two Thousand Maniacs" (1964), "Color Me Blood Red" (1965), and other horrors that were extremely shocking at the time and brought the ire of local censor boards down upon anyone connected with them.  Again, this segment is packed with highlights and outtakes from each film, with an enthusiastic Lewis speaking at length about what went on during production and Mal Arnold adding his own recollections about "Blood Feast"--which was shot in four-and-a-half days for $24,500.

Lewis non-gore efforts are covered as well, including the ripped-from-the-headlines "The Girl, the Body, and the Pill" and a delightfully lame rock'n'roll comedy called "Blast-off Girls" (both from 1967), which featured, of all people, Colonel Harlan Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame (who supplied the cast and crew with free chicken in return for some product placement).  We also see scenes from Lewis' director-for-hire film "The Magic Land of Mother Goose" and the outrageous bad-girl biker flick "She-Devils on Wheels."



Briefly flirting with a more mainstream appeal, Lewis made the less violent "A Taste of Blood" in 1967 before delving back into gore with a vengeance.  As is demonstrated by the numerous clips, films such as "The Wizard of Gore", "The Gruesome Twosome", and 1972's horrendous "The Gore-Gore Girls" (his final film, which featured legendary comedian Henny Youngman) are some of the most cheerfully depraved forays into graphic violence Lewis ever directed.

Despite his reputation, however, Lewis comes off as an earnest and personable guy whose excitement and sense of fun are infectious.  In addition to the talking head stuff (which in no way dominates the film) we see him at the home he shares with wife Margo and addressing a direct-market advertising conference, which is his current passion.  We also follow him and Friedman to St. Cloud, Florida, the location for "Two Thousand Maniacs", where they're warmly received by the town's current citizens (in a funny re-enactment of the film's opening scenes) and reunited with longtime junior partner Jerome Eden. 

Best of all, the film ends with Lewis appearing along with "Blood Feast"'s Mal Arnold and Connie Mason at the 2005 Chiller Theater Expo, where he performs a rousing rendition of his "Two Thousand Maniacs" theme. "Ya-HOOO!  The South will rise again!" he croons with boyish glee as the crowd goes wild.

Also appearing in the film are Lewis devotees Joe Bob Briggs, John Waters, and Frank Henenlotter, whose insights into the maverick filmmaker's career are invaluable, and a host of Lewis associates with extensive personal experience in the making of these films.  Lewis' son Robert gives us the lowdown on the fine art of squeezing an eyeball for the camera.  Actor Ray Sager enhances his comments with a spot-on Lewis impersonation, while cinematographer Steven Poster admits, "I don't know if I've ever actually seen one of his movies."  Andy Romanoff, who accurately opines that these films are memorable "for their lack of craft" and "because they're so terribly made", inspires this exasperated remark from Lewis: "The problem I had with Andy Romanoff was that he wanted to make a good movie!"



Fans of the great Bill Kerwin (probably best known as the star of "Blood Feast" along with the non-Lewis trash classic "Playgirl Killer aka Decoy For Terror") will be happy to discover much behind-the-scenes footage and information about this legendary actor.  In addition to "Carving Magic", we also get to see a scene from an industrial short which actually shows Kerwin involved in a happy, shiny song-and-dance routine.  Described as a hard-working, hard-drinking go-to guy who proved invaluable to Lewis on the set, Kerwin is showcased in footage from the unfinished "An Eye for an Eye", which was unearthed and partially assembled by Something Weird to give us an idea of what this lost film might have been like.

The DVD from Image Entertainment and Something Weird Video is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby stereo.  No subtitles.  Extras include H.G. Lewis trailers (with taglines such as "It's tantalizing, titillating, and tantamount to tremendous!"), a Lewis nudie short entitled "Hot Night at the Go-Go Lounge!", and a photo gallery.  Best of all is a full hour of deleted material from the documentary, which is practically a whole extra feature in itself.  One of the highlights is the sight of Bill Kerwin punching out a plate glass window with his bare hands.

H.G. Lewis fans can't go wrong with HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE, which captures the excitement of making underground films about forbidden subjects which shocked and horrified contemporary sensibilities.  As Lewis tells us, "That was the entire intent, to make something outrageous.  And in that respect, yes, we did succeed."  To which Friedman adds: "We had fun."


Buy it at Amazon.com
Read our coverage of the "Blood Trilogy" Blu-Ray collection

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE -- DVD Review by Porfle

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/17/17

 

We reviewed a barebones advance screener for RED CHRISTMAS back in August (see below) but today (October 17) it comes out on Blu-ray from Artsploitation Films and we've gotten the opportunity to take a gander at it. 

This seasonal slash-em-up is about a highly dysfunctional family (with America's sweetheart, Dee Wallace, as the harried matriarch) getting together like oil and water for an unconventional Christmas celebration with a surprise guest--Cletus, Mom's aborted fetus that survived, grew up, got real crazy, and is now out for either familial love or ruthless revenge, whichever comes first.

Needless to say, it's a raucous affair that serves to bring the disparate family members together at last, even as they're getting picked off one by one.

As for the Blu-ray--not only does it look and sound good enough to put you right in the Christmas spirit, but there are some lovely extras as well.  First up is director Craig Anderson's informal interview with a charming Dee Wallace, who manages to melt our hearts all over again as she speaks of working not only on this film but her previous classics (E.T., THE HOWLING, 10, etc.) as well. 

Next, Anderson and actor Sam Campbell ("Cletus") pop over to Gerald Odwyer's house to chat with him about his experiences playing "Gerry."  Again, it's all pleasantly casual and amusing, as well as informative.

Lastly comes a blooper reel, deleted scene, and brief clip of Odwyer and Anderson goofing around.  The latter two also handle the film's commentary, which is very scene-specific and enlightening.

The Blu-ray is in 2.25:1 widescreen with 5.1 surround sound.  English subtitles and closed-captions are available.

And now, here's our original review of the film itself:

A movie that might also have been called "When Abortions Attack!", RED CHRISTMAS (Artsploitation Films, 2016) is a pretty effective cautionary tale about what can happen if your viable aborted fetus is rescued by the guy who's about to blow up the abortion clinic, grows up into a twisted, deformed freak, and then returns as an adult on Christmas Day to wreak bloody revenge on his erstwhile mother and her comically dysfunctional family. 

Of course, any such film must star beloved genre queen Dee Wallace as the mom, who so desperately wants a traditional, happy family get-together despite having a woefully untraditional, unhappy family with absolutely no intention of getting together.  Her only solace is son Jerry (Gerard Odwyer), whose Downs Syndrome only makes him more special in Mommy's heart.

The rest of the clan includes the rebellious teen girl, her witheringly cynical and very, very pregnant older sister, the ultra-religious sister whose husband is a pious man of the cloth, and Mom's old-hippie brother who is forever puffing away on his medicinal marijuana. 

The prickly interactions amongst this motley bunch, spurred by various family issues and clashing personalities, would be sufficient for a twisted "Big Chill" sort of ensemble dramedy were it not for the fact that their ritual of exchanging gifts around the Christmas tree is interrupted by the entrance of one Cletus, an extremely creepy figure robed in black and wrapped from head to toe like a leper. 

Anyone who watches the abortion clinic prologue and then gets a load of Cletus should have very little trouble putting two and two together as well as mentally mapping out pretty much what territory the rest of RED CHRISTMAS is going to cover. 

All that's left to discover is who's gonna die in what order, how (and how bad) it's going to be, and whether or not first-time writer-director Craig Anderson will be able to make it entertaining for us jaded old slasher-flick junkies. 

Of course, the movie has already proven itself absorbing and fun thanks to good dialogue and performances and a pleasing overall look which includes nicely creative use of color and camera movement. 

Once the axe hits the skull and Cletus starts racking up his body count, the story goes into high gear and keeps us on our toes even though most of the plot's twists and turns cover pretty familiar ground. 
Granted, things start to lag a bit in the second half, but remain generally engaging enough to keep us wanting to see what happens next.  The kills range from teasing glimpses to graphic gore (although this isn't really a gorehound's dream) while our fleeting glimpse of Cletus sans facial bandages drives home the pleasingly retro nature of the film's practical effects. 

The tone is mock serious, with any humor that's inherent in the script kept utterly deadpan and never overt, which I like.  I also like the fact that the premise is so refreshingly different from the usual teens-in-a-cabin or campers-in-the-woods slasher fare while retaining the better elements of such films.

Mainly, though, RED CHRISTMAS lets us enjoy watching the wonderful Dee Wallace giving her all in a great role while fun and entertaining murder, mayhem, and carnage ensue all around her.  It's enough to give horror fans a little taste of Christmas right here in the middle of August.
 


Red Christmas (Official Trailer)

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE BURNING MOON -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/19/12

 

If you're looking for a pic to put next to the definition of "splatter" in your dictionary, there's a charnel house full of choice moments to choose from in THE BURNING MOON (1997), one of the goriest horror flicks I've seen since H.G. Lewis bought his first bottle of ketchup.  And while the first few minutes of this low-budget, shot-on-video German indy didn't exactly have me tingling with anticipation, it wasn't long before the earnest and surprisingly accomplished effort started to win me over in a big way.

We first meet writer-director Olaf Ittenbach as sullen slacker Peter, a drug-addled leech who'd rather shoot up and rumble with his gang than babysit his cute widdle kid sister.  His job interview sequence is pretty amusing--the interviewer has to remind him of the office's "no smoking" policy as he's rolling a joint--and the gang fight scene later on is nicely chaotic. 

After mainlining some "H" and imagining the moon as a huge, roiling ball of fire, Peter barges into his sister's room and insists upon telling her some horrific bedtime stories.  The first, "Julia's Love", begins with a nice girl named Julia (the cute Beate Neumeyer) enjoying her blind date with a nice guy named Cliff (Bernd Muggenthaler) until a radio news reporter's description of a recently-escaped psycho killer matches Cliff right down to his license number.  She flees his car at the first opportunity but makes the grave mistake of leaving her wallet behind.

What you think will happen next happens next, leading to one grisly and graphic killing after another as Julia's family is reduced in number one by one while she's upstairs.  Here, we get our first good look at Ittenbach's knack for devising convincing and sometimes flabbergasting practical gore effects and then shooting them in creative fashion.  Limbs are hacked off, throats are slashed, heads roll, and one person finds out why a machete definitely doesn't make a good toothpick.  When Julia finally discovers something's amiss, the segment rushes headlong to its exciting bloodbath finale. 

Since li'l sis hasn't quite drifted off to dreamland yet, Peter then proceeds to regail her with his next brain-boggling bedtime tale, "The Purity."  In this one, a series of murders in a small village has everyone blaming a mild-mannered farmer named Justus (André Stryi), although the real culprit is twisted priest Ralf (Rudolf Höß), a sweetly-beaming nutcase whose pious exterior hides the soul of an underworld denizen.  Ralf believes that death is purifying for the soul, and gleefully proceeds to purify several of his fellow villagers by raping, shooting (squibs abound), and throat-slashing (a startling effect). 

As if this weren't enough, the segment ends with one of the innocent Justus' persecutors taking a trip to Olaf Ittenbach's version of Hell, which turns out to be a stomach-churning free-for-all of gore, gore, and more gore.  For about fifteen straight minutes, the screen is filled with some of the most gruesome splatter effects you'll ever see this side of a Tom Savini fever dream. 

It's amazing that the director was able to pull off some of this stuff on such a low budget, it's so well done.  In addition to a veritable ocean of entrails and body parts, we witness a power drill to the teeth, eyeballs plucked out, faces pulled off, and--in what is probably the film's piece de resistance--a guy's legs pulled apart until his body literally splits up the middle.  In other words, it's party time for gorehounds. 

While THE BURNING MOON does look as cheaply-made as it is, Ittenbach's direction and staging are surprisingly sophisticated at times--you can tell that there's a genuinely talented filmmaker at work here, making the best of his limited resources with a good deal of creativity and enthusiasm.  His cast range from adequate to above-average, with Rudolf Höß as Ralf turning in a particularly strong performance and Ittenbach himself not bad as Peter.  Beate Neumeyer makes a winsome Julia in the first story segment while her co-star Bernd Muggenthaler plays the role of Cliff with just the right combination of feigned normalcy and giddy insanity. 

The DVD from Intervision is full-screen with Dolby 2.0 sound (in the original German) and English subtitles.  Extras include trailers for this and two other Intervision features, plus the 47-minute documentary "The Making of 'The Burning Moon'" which is a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at how to put an effective horror movie together on a shoestring.

One of the best of the obscure cinematic curios that Intervision has released so far, THE BURNING MOON ("Uncut, Uncensored, Unconscionable" the box proclaims) rises above its modest budget to provide a wealth of well-rendered shocks to the hardy souls who appreciate this sort of thing.  More sensitive viewers, beware.  Gorehounds, rejoice.

THE BURNING MOON -- DVD Review by Porfle

WRONG TURN 4 -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/6/11

 

Everybody likes a good origin story, and if you're a fan of Three Finger, Saw-Tooth, and One-Eye, then WRONG TURN 4 (2011)--subtitled "Bloody Beginnings"--could be the prequel of your dreams. 

The rousing pretitles sequence finds our three inbred hillbilly-cannibal brothers as rambuctious young 'uns who are already the most dangerous inmates in the asylum.  They don't stay locked in their cell for long, though, and once they've escaped and let all the other loonies out as well, the hapless asylum staff are in for a day of total bedlam climaxed by the drawing and quartering of poor Dr. Ryan. 

This jaw-dropping scene, as well as the rest of the film's gore, is done with state-of-the-art practical effects with a minimum of CGI, which should make old-school gorehounds giddy with delight.  With Dr. Ryan's screams still ringing in our ears, we then plunge directly into a sex scene involving two couples, one hetero, one lesbian.  Writer-director Declan O'Brien (WRONG TURN 3) clearly isn't wasting any time ringing the standard slasher-flick bells and whistles here, and once fully sated the two couples and their friends immediately set off for a snowmobiling weekend in the woods which we know isn't going to end well.

Taking a "wrong turn" on the way to their cabin, they end up having to seek shelter from the freezing cold in the old abandoned asylum, which naturally is the current home of our grown-up hillbilly cannibals.  Before you can say "no cell phone reception", they're in party-hearty mode amidst clouds of cannabis and pairing up for the night.  It doesn't take long for one of them to wander off on his own and come face-to-hideously-deformed-face with Saw-Tooth, whereupon we're treated to our first peek at what goes on in the asylum's kitchen these days. 

Once the entire gang of kill-fodder college chums is clued in that they're in big trouble, WRONG TURN 4 segues into the usual routine in which everybody runs around being terrified as they get picked off one by one.  This gives O'Brien and his crack effects team the chance to stage a series of bravura death scenes (one victim is hanged by barbed wire until her head pops off like a cork) culminating in what is known as the "F**ked-Up Fondue." 

Here, the extremely unfortunate victim is tied to a kitchen table and taken apart piece by piece as the hillbillies dip each morsel into sizzling oil before gobbling it up.  Actor Dean Armstrong displays an outstanding vocal range with some of the best screams ever recorded, and the SPFX artists are equally good as they pull of some queasily convincing effects that should please even the most demanding gorehounds.  Definitely one of the sickest sequences I've seen in a while, it's enough to have even Herschell Gordon Lewis wondering what the hell he hath wrought.

Meanwhile, the rest of our cast of idiots are voting whether or not to go help their friend even as his blood-curdling shrieks resound up and down the corridors.  These are not the brightest characters ever written, and if you're in the right mood you may enjoy watching them scurry around making one incredibly dumb move after another as director O'Brien manages to record their antics with some style.  Once they've exhausted their full range of indoor stupidity the action moves outside, with the survivors being harrassed by hillbilly cannibals on snowmobiles until the surprise (ehh) ending.

The good-guy cast do what they can with characters and dialogue that are--how should I put this--"lacking in depth", adequately depicting their assorted stereotypes.  Jennifer Pudavik is appealing as Kenia, who comes off as "final girl" material from the start, while Dean Armstrong gets my vote as "Scream King of the Month."  Extra points go to actor/stuntmen Sean Skene and Scott Johnson for their double acting duties--Skene plays both college boy Vincent and psycho Three Finger, and Johnson, in addition to being one of the orderlies eaten in the pretitles rampage, also assumes the role of the adult Saw-Tooth.

The DVD from 20th-Century Fox Home Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 audio and subtitles in English, French, and Spanish.  Extras include a director-producer commentary, a making-of featurette, "Director's Die-ary", "Lifestyles of the Sick and Infamous", deleted scenes, and a music video.

So far, my favorite film in this series is the second one with its wantonly over-the-top gore and sick humor.  But while WRONG TURN 4 doesn't quite match up, it's still packed with enough action and carnage to make it a worthwhile turn for gore addicts to take.

WRONG TURN 4 -- DVD Review by Porfle

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/29/11

 

There are two kinds of post-grindhouse flicks.  (There may be more, but my brain can only handle two at a time.)  One is the homage, which mimics the look of the old ragged film prints seen in grindhouses and drive-ins back in the old days while displaying a spoofy, self-consciously retro sensibility.  (I just made that up.) 

The other kind, like HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (2011), is simply a contemporary version of the kind of exploitation flicks that came out in the 70s and 80s, without the deliberate self-awareness or cosmetic similarities.  In other words (not mine, in fact), the filmmakers "just made the f***in' movie." 

This is what first-time feature director Jason Eisener did after winning the faux-trailer contest associated with the Tarantino-Rodriguez epic GRINDHOUSE, fleshing out his two-minute masterpiece into a gory, action-packed, ultra-violent, and really weird comedy-thriller that wantonly hurls itself over the top and just keeps on going. 

Although the title, concept, and wonderfully retro poster art promised a film that would be right up my alley, I must admit that upon first viewing I wasn't all that crazy about it.  In fact, it seemed pretty slapdash and stupid, and not at all the full-blooded grindhouse experience that my bizarre appetites had been whetted for.  I guess I was expecting something more along the lines of PLANET TERROR, instead of a garish Technicolor cartoon with supporting performances and surrealistic situations that seemed like something out of a demented Pee-Wee Herman movie.
 


Watching HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN again, however (and I've seen it at least four times so far), I'm beginning to better appreciate the skill and effort that these novice filmmakers have put into it.  With old pro Rutger Hauer filling out the title role with his usual skill and creating a realistic character out of what could have been a one-dimensional joke, director and co-writer Eisener displays a fair amount of imagination and directorial finesse in depicting the bloody adventures of a hobo who comes to town with the dream of earning enough money to buy a lawnmower but ends up wielding a shotgun in a one-man crusade to rid the streets of rampant crime.

As in ROBOCOP, this city is the ultimate urban cesspool run by a powerful, supremely arrogant criminal kingpin.  Nattily-dressed scumball Drake (Brian Downey) and his psychotic sons Slick (Gregory Smith) and Ivan (Nick Bateman) rule the cowering citizens through terror, which includes gruesome public executions and mass murders with the cooperation of a totally bent police force.  When the Hobo stops Slick from mauling a young prostitute (Molly Dunsworth as "Abby") and later trades his lawnmower for a shotgun to stop a deadly pawn shop robbery, his course is set.  With Molly as his faithful ally, the Hobo takes a bite out of crime shotgun-style until his inevitable showdown with the Drakes.



Fluorescent colors and frenetic camerawork form the dizzying visual style of the film (inspired, according to Eisener, by such movies as SUSPIRIA and SAVAGE STREETS) while gushing gouts of gore and body parts galore splatter every inch of the screen.  The bad guys are so incredibly vile, and so richly deserve to die horribly, that we get a satisfying charge every time the Hobo blasts them to bits.  But the innocent suffer just as gruesomely--there's no shortage of exploding heads, broken bones, shredded flesh, and disembowelings.  Even a school bus full of little kids gets incinerated to the tune of "Disco Inferno." 

While Eisener doesn't quite stoop to the old "so intentionally bad, it's good" schtick, he is trying so hard to create an instant cult flick that the constant barrage of cartoonish cacophony becomes tiresome at times.  Drake throws himself into the loudmouthed ringmaster routine once too often, while some of the other characters (such as Jeremy Akerman as the crooked police chief) seem to exist only for the purpose of screaming into the camera. 

Profanity-packed overacting is an end unto itself throughout the film, redeemed only by the fact that some of the actors doing it are pretty good.  Nick Bateman is intermittently amusing as Drake's number-two son Ivan, brightly declaiming some of the film's most willfully dumb lines ("It's a beautiful day for a SKATE RAPE!"), while ultimate bad-guy duo The Plague--robotic armor-plated enigmas who mercilessly get medieval on their victims in horribly imaginative ways--come off at first like a silly-looking WWE tag team but end up being pretty cool.  Other players distinguish themselves here and there, such as a frantic emergency-room doc (Juanita Peters) who struggles to revive an injured Molly while screaming, "Live!  Live, you f***ing whore!"



Needless to say, the consummately professional Hauer carries the film whenever it begins to sag.  He has some pretty classic moments that transcend everything else around him, including his stirring speech to a maternity ward full of newborns (which may rank right up there with BLADE RUNNER's "I've seen things" soliloquy).  The film's second-best performance is by the very cute Molly Dunsworth as kindhearted hooker Abby, whose scenes with the Hobo manage to be genuinely moving.  She really gives her all to the part, especially when she transforms herself into a makeshift superheroine with a lawnmower-blade shield and takes on the Plague in the film's blood-drenched finale. 

The 2-disc Collector's Edition DVD from Magnolia Home Entertainment's Magnet label is in 2.40:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.  Subtitles are in Spanish, with English closed-captions.  Disc one contains the movie along with two commentary tracks, one with Eisener and Hauer, the other with Eisener, writer John Davies, producer Rob Cotterill, and David Brunt (the GRINDHOUSE trailer's original "Hobo.")  There's also an interactive "Shotgun Mode" with behind-the-scenes clips. 

Disc two features "More Blood, More Heart: The Making of 'Hobo With a Shotgun'", deleted scenes, an alternate ending, video blogs, a camera test reel, Fangoria interviews with Eisener and Hauer, an HDnet featurette, the GRINDHOUSE trailer, faux-trailer contest winner "Van Gore", the redband U.S. theatrical trailer, and Canadian TV spots.  The DVD case also contains info on how to acquire your digital copy of the film online.

A free-for-all of unrelieved carnage and perversely lighthearted depravity, HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN definitely won't appeal to some viewers in any way, shape, or form.  And even some of the people to whom it's squarely aimed probably won't think it's all that great.  I was even lumping it into the same pile of devastatingly disappointing duds as HOWARD THE DUCK before it began to grow on me after subsequent viewings.  Now I see it for what it is--a modestly audacious burst of youthful creativity that lives up to its promising title by shocking and titillating us on an unabashedly juvenile level.  Hey, I can live with that.

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN -- DVD Review by Porfle

COLD FISH -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/22/11

 

The horrifically graphic gore and extreme perversion of COLD FISH (2010) is presented in such an offhand, matter-of-fact way that it's interesting to see what the next outrage will be and how the main character, a timid milquetoast named Mr. Shamoto, will react to it.  My own reaction was to gaze intently for almost two-and-a-half hours and marvel at what a delightfully whacked-out movie I was looking at. 

Nobuyuki Shamoto is a humble fish store owner with an unhappy wife, Taeko (Megumi Kagurazaka), and a violently bratty daughter, Mitsuko (Hikari Kajiwara), who despises both him and her stepmother.  He yearns for the ordered tranquility to be found at the local planetarium, but instead is cast into a living hell when he meets the charming and wildly gregarious Mr. Murata, owner of a vastly superior fish store.  Murata rescues Nobuyuki's daughter from a shoplifting charge and puts her to work in his own fish store, offering Nobuyuki a lucrative partnership as well.  But the gratitude Nobuyuki initially feels turns to horror when he discovers what kind of man Murata really is.

Murata and his sexually voracious wife Aiko turn out to be a gleefully sociopathic pair of serial killers who bilk people out of money, murder them, and make them "invisible" by disassembling their bodies in a mountaintop shack.  Shamoto gets sucked into all of this as a lackey and "apprentice", with Murata threatening to kill his family if he doesn't comply.  The "invisibility" process boasts some of the most graphic gore I've ever seen in a movie, but the two giggling psychos perform this grisly task with such lighthearted enthusiasm that the effect is strangely comedic.

Mitsuru Fukikoshi does a great job portraying Shamoto's growing fear and mortification as his association with Murata spirals ever downward.  As Aiko, Asuka Kurosawa deftly switches between playful sex kitten and intimidating killer and is the ideal companion in crime for Murata.  But it's (the singularly-named) Denden as Mr. Murata whose energetic, inventive, and wholly fascinating performance makes COLD FISH such a riveting film.  At times almost a fatherly mentor to Shamoto, Murata is also dangerously unstable and unpredictable, and we never know what the hell he's going to do, or who he's going to kill, next. 

Japanese director Shion Sono (LOVE EXPOSURE, SUICIDE CLUB) shows his sense of humor in the opening sequence by shooting, editing, and scoring Taeko's disinterested shopping and microwave dinner preparation as though it were a suspense scene, then jarringly cutting to the family eating in joyless silence and ignoring each other.  When Murata's initially clownish behavior turns to shocking acts of violence and debauchery, his utter brazenness has a comic edge to it.  And his tutoring of a nervous Shamoto on how to lie to some gangsters who come looking for a missing family member also elicits giddy laughs despite our sympathy for the terrified Shamoto. 

The story rushes headlong into a whirlwind of scary and over-the-top incidents until Shamoto finally reaches his breaking point, with Mitsuru Fukikoshi's performance taking on an unnervingly realistic tone even as Shamoto's actions become more wildly deranged.  While many viewers will have become numbed to the violence and gore by this point, some of the blood-soaked final encounters between the main characters are simply mindboggling.  Shion Sono catches it all with a fluid handheld camera, with some impressive long takes that allow the actors to play out certain scenes to the hilt.

The DVD from Vivendi and Bloody Disgusting is in 1.85:1 widescreen with 5.1 Japanese stereo and English subtitles.  The sole extra is a brief interview with director Shion Sono.

A frenetic, exhilarating experience for those in search of something completely different, COLD FISH is both realistic and just plain balls-out nuts.  It claims to be based on true events, and, while that doesn't mean much these days, I pity anyone who ever experienced anything even remotely resembling what happens in this movie.


Buy it at Amazon.com

COLD FISH -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER -- DVD Review by Porfle

 Originally posted on 7/9/11

 

Out of all the low-budget serial killer biopics I've seen, THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER (1993) may be the most interesting to watch as a film.  Mainly because (a) it's well made, and (b) it doesn't use a sensationalistic real-life story simply as an easy excuse to churn out yet another gory horror film. 

Screenwriter Carl Crew claims to have done his research, and, based on my limited knowledge of the case, the film seems to bear this out.  The familiar bases are covered--Jeffrey Dahmer's unhappy family life, his childhood fascination with dead animals, and his eventual transformation into a coldblooded predator who murdered up to seventeen young men. 

The fact that Dahmer got away with it for so long is accurately portrayed here as a combination of cunning, insane luck, and police incompetence.  We follow the story of his crimes from his first kill (as a teen, he murdered a hitchhiker at his family home), through a series of murders while living with his grandmother, and, after moving into his own apartment, his final rampage in which he was luring victims into his clutches at the rate of one per week.



The pattern of seducing men by offering to pay them to pose for photographs and then drugging them as a prelude to murder becomes somewhat monotonous at times, yet each individual victim adds his own unique elements to the story.  Some even escape, although their stories are dismissed by the police.  The most tragic of these incidents involves an underage boy who gets away and then, incredibly, is delivered right back into Dahmer's hands.  

As Dahmer, Crew's acting isn't always polished but he's intense and convincing, and the fact that he bears little resemblance to the actual person becomes less of a factor as one gets used to his portrayal.  Initially, Dahmer is shown as less of a maniac than an introspective loser who fears being left alone so much that he's compelled to kill those he feels attracted to and keep parts of their bodies as souvenirs.  (You almost sympathize with him as he lovingly cradles a severed head for companionship.)  As the attacks escalate, so does his sadistic streak as the murder sequences become more horrific and brutally graphic.

One of the more disturbing scenes finds Dahmer attempting to turn a hapless captive into a zombie by drilling holes in his head and filling them with chemicals.  Another is lowered into a barrel of acid and fastened inside while still alive.  Perhaps the most elaborate sequence involves some deft directorial touches, a well-crafted build-up with Dahmer displaying some wry behavorial quirks, and an extremely realistic fake head.

Still, the film isn't as exploitative as it could have been, and these powerful scenes of violence and gore are done with an understated, nonsensational style that makes them even eerier while sometimes evoking a sense of melancholy.  Originally hired to score the film before being promoted to director, David R. Bowen's subtle stylistic touches add to the mood while the lighting and cinematography give everything the look of a high-end 70s or 80s exploitation flick.



Adding to the effect is the drive-in quality print used for this DVD release, with its jagged edits and often gritty look that almost make it seem like a rough cut at times.  Despite these factors (and if you liked GRINDHOUSE, they should be a plus), the film looks good for a low-budget 35mm feature and is made with care.  Bowen states in the commentary track that he was aiming for a theatrical release--hindered in part by the controversy of the subject--and this is borne out by the obvious effort put into making it more than just the average exploitation flick.

The DVD from Intervision is in full-screen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  Extras include a commentary track with director Bowen and writer/star Crew, plus trailers for this and other Intervision releases.

Outstanding performances by most of the actors playing Dahmer's victims help sell the film's realism.  Other castmembers, particularly a couple of Jeffrey's neighbor ladies who complain vehemently about the stench eminating from his apartment, are also fine, as is the beautiful Lisa Marks as Dahmer's probation officer.  But it's Crew who carries the film, both as writer and star, and he makes THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER a portrait of a serial killer that's worth looking at even though you probably won't like what you see.  And it's all the more disturbing because, in this case, the monster is real.

THE SECRET LIFE: JEFFREY DAHMER -- DVD Review by Porfle

Arrow Video Asks "WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE!" In Select Theaters Nationwide April 10th -- Watch Trailer HERE!

Kirill Sokolov's "WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE!" Heads to US Theaters

Arrow Video Invites Audiences to Meet (and Kill) the Parents
Brutal Action Comedy Opens April 10th in Select Markets

"A splatterpunk action comedy... gleefully dark" --Hollywood Reporter

"A smartly constructed and blisteringly paced bit of chaos" --Screen Anarchy
 
   
London, UK - Arrow Video is proud to announce the US theatrical release of Why Don't You Just Die!, a blood-soaked black comedy in the vein of Quentin Tarantino and Edgar Wright. 

Making his feature debut, writer/director Kirill Sokolov presents a rousing tale of family, modern relationships and the dark places they can take you to when things turn sour.  Why Don't You Just Die! will open in select theaters nationwide on April 10th, 2020. 
 

WATCH THE TRAILER:

Why Don't You Just Die! has received critical acclaim from festivals around the globe, taking home the New Flesh Award for Best First Feature and Silver Audience Award at Fantasia, Best European Feature Film at MOTELx, Best Director at Fantaspoa, Best Feature, Best Director and Best VFX Awards at Grimmfest.  Following a screening at Fantastic Fest, Film School Rejects raved that "Russian cinema has a new filmmaker to champion".

Theatrical markets include Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Knoxville, Ithaca, Houston, Lubbock, El Paso and Phoenix.

Ahead of the release, Sokolov shared, "Despite our exaggerated use of genre tropes and all the flashy effects, Why Don't You Just Die! remains, for me, an incredibly personal and sincere story. The film's inherent violence is the result of reflection on the realities of life in Russia, modern relationships, and societal attitudes. The gallows humor which pervades the film is the only true reaction whatsoever to all of this. The film is intended as an emotional rollercoaster, making the audience laugh, cry, and laugh again - but then immediately feel a sense of unease for having laughed."

Matvey (Aleksandr Kuznetsov) has just one objective: to gain entry to his girlfriend's parents' apartment and kill her father Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) with a hammer to restore her honour. But all is not as it initially seems, and Matvey's attempts to bludgeon the family patriarch to death don't quite go to plan as Andrey proves a more formidable - not to mention ruthless - opponent than he anticipated... and Matvey, for his part, proves stubbornly unwilling to die.

Why Don't You Just Die!: Russian w/ English subs / 95 min

Arrow Video Asks "WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE!" In Select Theaters Nationwide April 10th -- Watch Trailer HERE!

BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE -- Movie Review by Porfle

According to the description, BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE (2017) is about a woman who turns into a "hideous frog monster"--a werefrog, if you will--and "wreaks havoc on her family and town."

I've always loved werewolf movies, so something with a bit of werefroggery in it already has an advantage. (According to WEREWOLF OF LONDON, "werewolfery" is a proper term, so I figure "werefroggery" should be, too.)
  
Anyway, if this description doesn't immediately sort out who's going to be interested in this movie and who isn't, then I don't know what would. It also helps if you liked the more garishly gory, tongue-in-cheek horrors of the 80s, because this one is aces at replicating the fun and appealing atmosphere of that era in horror.

Mary Malloy is excellent in the role of Victoria, a troubled teen with an overbearing stepfather, a milquetoast mom, and a bratty stepbrother.  She sneaks out of the house one night with a girlfriend, just in time for the friend to be ripped to pieces by--you guessed it--a werefrog. 

And just as in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, our wounded heroine survives the attack that killed her friend but becomes a monster herself when the full moon rises. 

There's a subplot about a scientist (Vikas Adam) working on a cure for the amphibious malady from the back of a Texaco station, which he runs to finance his work.  He's able to come up with a temporary cure which he gives Victoria, but her stupid stepdad thinks it's some kind of drug and smashes it. Bad move, comically stereotypical stepdad!

Skipping to the good stuff: the full moon rises and Victoria indeed painfully morphs into a hulking, slime-oozing frog monster complete with some nifty special makeup appliances and a terrific, old-fashioned creature suit. 

She goes on a murderous rampage that's well-splattered with even more great practical FX (with barely any CGI in sight, if any) and done with the kind of humor that's made more effective by being played utterly straight.

A finale in the back-room laboratory of the Texaco station involves a crazy private detective, Paul (Troy Halverson), initially hired by Victoria's parents but now on his own insane quest to eliminate the frog menace. 

With all three characters (including the werefrog) going at it in a free-for-all of gore, goo, and freaky plot twists, there's plenty of fun to be had for one and all until the ironic fadeout.

Tim Reis makes an impressive feature writing/directing debut, handling things with a nice visual flair that's colorful and flamboyant (I was reminded of CREEPSHOW minus the comic book trappings, as well as RE-ANIMATOR due to the film's unabashed outrageousness).

Performances are fine, particularly a heartfelt turn by Mary Malloy in the lead.  Again, the above-average makeup effects add to the visual ambience to give the film a welcome 80s feel. 

BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE isn't on the same level as the other films mentioned due to its lesser budget and scale, but if you liked them, chances are this one will have you all giddy with delight as well. It definitely takes "werefroggery" to a whole new level.


FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/BadBloodTheMovieOfficial/
TWITTER: @Level33_Ent

Limited Theatrical and On Demand 10-13-17

Watch the Trailer:

BAD BLOOD: THE MOVIE -- Movie Review by Porfle

Horror Reigns Supreme with "Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings" on Blu-ray and DVD October 25

WELCOME TO THE PLACE THAT RAISED THE MOST DANGEROUS KILLERS YOU NEVER WANT TO MEET…

Witness The UNRATED Bloody Beginnings of Three Finger and His Family of Hillbilly Cannibals on Blu-ray and DVD October 25

Los Angeles (September 14, 2011) – Before their victims ever hit a “Dead End,” one family took terror to a gruesome new level. Discover the disturbing origins and bloody beginnings when WRONG TURN 4: Bloody Beginnings debuts on unrated Blu-ray and DVD October 25 from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment.

In 1974, Glenville Sanatorium was the site of a brutal and horrific crime, as three hideously deformed cannibals went on a merciless killing spree. Now, years later, a group of college kids having the time of their life make a fateful wrong turn, giving this family of blood-thirsty cannibals new prey to stalk. The abandoned medical wards within the sanatorium soon become killing fields as the panicked victims come face to face with a chilling choice: fight back or die.

With bonus footage too graphic for theaters including behind-the-scenes featurettes and commentary from director Declan O’Brien (Wrong Turn 3, Sharktopus), WRONG TURN 4: Bloody Beginnings takes audiences back to the most terrifying place of all… the beginning. Available on Blu-ray and DVD October 25, prebook is September 28.

WRONG TURN 4: Bloody Beginnings Special Features
--Feature Commentary from Director Declan O’Brien
--Director’s Die-aries
--Making Another Wrong Turn
--Lifestyles of the Sick and Infamous
--Music Video Featuring The Black Out City Kids

Follow Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment on Twitter @FoxHomeEnt

WRONG TURN 4: Bloody Beginnings Blu-Ray: (Catalog # 2274743)
Street Date: October 25, 2011
Pre-book Date: September 28, 2011
Screen Format: Widescreen (1.78:1)
Audio: 5.1 DTS HD-MA
Subtitles: English, French and Spanish
U.S. Rating: Unrated
Total Run Time: 93 minutes (not including 35 minutes of special features)
Closed Captioned: Yes

WRONG TURN 4: Bloody Beginnings DVD: (Catalog # 2274736)
Street Date: October 25, 2011
Pre-book Date: September 28, 2011
Screen Format: Widescreen (1.78:1)
Audio: 5.1 Dolby Digital
Subtitles: English, French and Spanish
U.S. Rating: Unrated
Total Run Time: 93 minutes (not including 35 minutes of special features)
Closed Captioned: Yes

Horror Reigns Supreme with "Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings" on Blu-ray and DVD October 25

CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 -- DVD review by porfle

(NOTE: This review is based on the unrated director's cut.)


The tall, skinny, bald guy with the chrome skull-mask, the wicked knife, and the video camera perched on his shoulder like a parrot is back in CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 (2011) and this time, he's got back-up. 

The last we saw of Ol' Chrome-Dome (Nick Principe) back in the first LAID TO REST (2009), he was lying on the floor of a rural convenience store with his face ripped off and his skull smashed in.  Well, you can't keep a good monster down, so when this sequel picks up right where the last one left off, we see his crew sweep in, dispatch the investigating police, clean up the crime scene, and whisk their boss to an operating room where surgeons labor to save his life and what's left of his face.

It turns out that he's one of those multi-millionaires who can afford to do whatever the heck he pleases and pay people to willingly help him do it, even if that includes setting up an elaborate torture chamber for him (in his chrome-plating factory, naturally) and stocking it with kidnapped young girls.  His right-hand woman, Spann (the ever-popular Danielle Harris) even seems to enjoy her job, as does his main fixer, Preston, who is very well played by Brian Austin Greene. 



Green seems to revel in the Preston role, portraying a borderline psycho who wants to follow in his boss' footsteps by adopting the chromeskull mask and performing his first kills with an almost sexual ardor.  Not only do we get a shocking pre-titles sequence that harkens back to FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, but we get a little of PART 5 as well with an imitator going around making like the main man.  This not only gives Green a chance to stretch his acting muscles but also gives gore fans a double dose of carnage.

Like a cross between Jason Voorhees and Mason Verger of HANNIBAL, Chromeskull, now sporting a hideous patchwork face, spends his recovery time stalking a new girl to obsess on now that Princess, his previous object of interest, is out of the picture.  Her replacement is Jess (Mimi Michaels), who has an eye disease that's slowly making her go blind.  In one of the film's first startling kill scenes, Jess' best friend is dispatched in imaginatively gruesome fashion and Jess is abucted, waking up in a casket while being taunted by Preston.  Mimi Michaels plays the role to the hilt, screaming very convincingly and emoting her buns off.

Thomas Dekker returns as Tommy (last seen driving away with Princess in the last film) and gets caught up in the whole mess again, this time coming to the aid of Jess.  They both end up in Chromeskull's factory where they witness some of the film's more elaborate kills, including a virtuoso decapitation and a thing with a spring-loaded blade cluster (a chrome-plated custom job designed by Preston) giving another character a really big smile. 

Other death scenes of interest include a nasty disembowelment (with the victim being portrayed by twins in order to achieve a tricky single take), a head sliced vertically in half like a cantelope, the impromptu chrome-plating of somebody else's head, and another impressive single take in which Chromeskull wipes out a number of cops one after the other in gruesome ways.  The gore effects are achieved, as in the previous film, by combining excellent practical effects with some subtle CGI enhancements. 



Speaking of cops, they're a pretty ineffectual bunch here.  Owain Yeoman plays Detective King, who looks a little young to be heading the precinct, and Christopher Allen Nelson (Beatrix' almost-husband Tommy in KILL BILL) is Max, his best detective.  "Best" being a relative term, since the whole squad amounts to little more than kill fodder for Chromeskull.  When they bust into the chrome-plating factory to rescue Jess and Detective King yells, "You're safe now!", I thought, "Yeah, right."  Hot female detective Holland (Angelina Armani) fares no better.

Gail O'Grady appears as Jess' mother and a grown-up Eric Lloyd (of the SANTA CLAUSE series) is billed as "Geeky Lackey."  The actress who played Princess in the first LAID TO REST, Bobbi Sue Luther, is neither seen here (her flashback scenes were reshot with Allison Kyler replacing her) nor mentioned by name (unless I missed it).  

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras include a commentary with director Robert Hall, co-writer Kevin Bocarde, and actor Brian Austin Green, along with a making-of featurette, deleted scenes, bloopers, and a trailer.  There's also a feature which allows viewers to jump to any one of the various kill scenes.  (Stick around through the closing credits for a two-minute epilogue.)

While the film is pretty fast-paced and the additions to the Chromeskull mythology fairly interesting, I prefer the first film with its creepier settings, more enigmatic killer, more likable characters, and more involving story.  This one has none of its dry humor (Sean Whalen and Kevin Gage are especially missed) and the main girl, Jess, is winsome but not really all that interesting.  Still, CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 is head and shoulders above most of the cheap slasher flicks being churned out lately, continuing the first film's "cavalcade of cool kills" approach with a little style and a lot of enthusiasm.  And Chromeskull is definitely one of the major movie monsters of the last few decades.


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CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 -- DVD review by porfle