THE BEST OF CAROL BURNETT: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/5/19

 

If you were watching CBS one night 50 years ago, chances are you saw the premiere of "The Carol Burnett Show." And if you were like me, you loved it and her, even though you probably didn't suspect that it would go on for another eleven years (1967-1978) and that 50 years later you'd be able to watch it all over again on DVD.

Time-Life's 21-disc boxed DVD set THE BEST OF CAROL BURNETT: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION allows us to do just that, with 60 episodes on 21 discs that also contain a wealth of bonus features, along with two illustrated menu booklets and a collectible memory book offering a colorful text history of the show.

The box contains three separate volumes, the first being THE BEST OF THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW (10 discs). This one gives us a chance to relive that first fateful episode and then takes us on a trip through the rest of the series with selected highlight episodes.

The early Carol is a delight as she has her first question-and-answer session with the live audience to open the show--which would become a revered tradition (as would her patented "Tarzan yell")--and wins them over with her easy charm, humility, and bubbling sense of humor and fun. 

Already an experienced performer (she'd just come off "The Garry Moore Show", where I first became a fan as a kid), we get to see her initial awkwardness work in her favor as she gradually becomes a more and more seasoned performer, as do beloved cast regulars Harvey Korman, Vicki Lawrence, and Lyle Waggoner. (Frequent guest Tim Conway would later join as well.)

Her audience rapport and sense of fun in the skits and musical numbers to follow establish Carol's ability to relate to viewers on a personal level with no barrier between them.  She also proves willing to improvise and ad-lib her way through the skits, giving the show an enjoyably casual atmosphere where anything can happen.

The skits themselves are a hit-and-miss affair, some screamingly funny while others either don't quite click or are absolute clunkers.  But there are just so many of them that we're always entertained, especially when we get to see favorite continuing characters such as Mr. Tudball and Mrs. Wiggins, The Old Folks, Carol and Sis (lookalike Vicki Lawrence often played Carol's younger sister), and the blackmailing Girl Scout.

There's also the insufferably nagging wife, the soap opera spoof "As The Stomach Turns", Tim Conway's "The Oldest Man", and of course "The Family", with Carol and Harvey as Eunice and Ed Harper and Vicki Lawrence really coming into her own as Eunice's grouchy and eternally disapproving Mama in some of the show's most brilliant and memorable scenes.

In addition to the continuing segments are a wealth of commercial spoofs, Broadway and movie tributes, and other one-shot skits that range from yawners to side-splitters. Most of them are delightfully lowbrow, willfully unsophisticated, and packed with silly fun.  Not only that, but the cast delight in making each other burst into helpless laughter, especially when Tim and Harvey get together. 

Like most variety shows of the time, there's also a resident dance troup who perform semi-weekly song and dance numbers that viewers who appreciate such things will no doubt enjoy. As for me, these are excuses to exercise my chapter-skip button, something I wish I'd had when I was a kid and wanted to get back to the comedy.

I love the mischievous air that pervades the show, with the cast often playing on-air pranks on each other. One episode occurred during a musicians' strike so everyone has to hum the show's incidental music. 

Carol's all-star guests are a stellar line-up of actors, singers, and comedians who represent some of the best and most popular names in the entertainment industry at the time. These include Rita Hayworth, Bernadette Peters, Soupy Sales, Ella Fitzgerald, Sid Caesar, Andy Griffith, Mel Torme', Imogene Coca, Martha Raye, George Gobel, Ken Berry, Cass Elliot, Diahann Carroll, Nanette Fabray, Ray Charles, Carl Reiner, Roddy McDowall, The Jackson 5, Steve Lawrence, Dinah Shore, Ben Vereen, Neil Sedaka, Rock Hudson, and Carol's favorite guest, Jim "Gomer Pyle" Nabors.

The second 10-disc volume in the set, THE BEST OF THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: 11 YEARS, TOGETHER AGAIN, is another wonderful collection of 27 shows from Carol's 11-season run on CBS. This time guests include Lucille Ball, Bob Newhart, Don Rickles, Eddie Albert, Nancy Wilson, Chita Rivera, Burt Reynolds (who performs an amazing stunt gag), Don Adams, Lesley Ann Warren, Flip Wilson, Vicki Carr, Carol Channing, Ruth Buzzi, Jack Jones, Lily Tomlin, The Pointer Sisters, Dick Van Dyke, Sammy Davis, Jr., Madeline Kahn, Stiller & Meara, Eydie Gorme, and Hal Linden.

The third volume, THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: THE FINAL SHOW, is Carol's sentimental swan song, which, in addition to the live-audience performances, also features taped reprises of some of the show's highlights over the years.

Mr. Tudball and Mrs. Wiggins appear for the last time as they prepare to move to a new office, while the final "Family" segment shows Mama disrupting Eunice's much-needed session with her therapist.

There are outtakes, TV and movie parodies, and appearances by such guests as Liza Minelli, Perry Como, Bob Hope, and several more. The sudden appearance of a surprise guest, Jimmy Stewart, gives Carol one of her biggest thrills of the show's entire run.

After a tearful goodbye rendition of the show's theme song performed by Carol's beloved "Charwoman" character, she's surprised by a procession of past well-known friends of the show including Harvey Korman, who had left the show sometime before.

Bonus features consist of a cast-reunion featurette, "The End of 11 Years: Saying So Long" and an interview with Carol.

Several of the other discs in the collection also include bonus features too numerous to mention.  These include all manner of outtakes, cast and guest interviews, and a variety of informative featurettes of interest to fans of the show.

Not all of the episodes are complete--some have shorter-than-average running times, but the deletions are probably limited to some of the show's less exciting dance numbers. Pictorially, the shows are in very good condition.

THE BEST OF CAROL BURNETT: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION is a gold mine of entertainment for fans of the show and a great introduction for those who've never seen it before. And as good as the skits and musical numbers are, it's those times when Carol just stands there visiting with the audience in her friendly and totally unassuming way that really make this set a joy to watch. It reminded me of why I've loved her for the last fifty years.


TECH SPECS:

Type: DVD (21 Discs)
Running Time: 58 hours, 51 min.
Rating: N/A
Genre: TV DVD
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 (4:3)
Audio: Stereo

THE BEST OF CAROL BURNETT: 50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION -- DVD Review by Porfle

HANCOCK -- Movie Review by Porfle

(NOTE: This review was written during the film's initial theatrical run and originally posted on 9/3/11.)


HANCOCK (2008), this year's big-budget 4th of July offering from Will Smith to his fans, is neither as much fun as MEN IN BLACK or INDEPENDENCE DAY, nor as horrible as WILD, WILD WEST.   It sorta bounces around between those two extremes, entertaining me for a few moments here and there before lapsing into passages that had me not really caring whether or not I even finished watching the whole disappointing thing.

Hancock (Smith) is a surly, alcoholic bum whom we find sleeping on a sidewalk bench as the movie opens.  But when he's told that there's a van full of heavily-armed criminals in a high-speed pursuit on the freeway, he grabs his bottle of cheap booze and drunkenly flies to the scene.  While he succeeds in stopping the bad guys, his crude, haphazard methods also cause millions of dollars worth of damage and public outrage. 

Later, when kindhearted, green-livin' public relations man Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) finds himself stuck on the tracks with a freight train bearing down on him, Hancock flings his car away and stops the train cold, causing--you guessed it--millions of dollars worth of damage.  Unlike Superman, this sad-sack superhero just doesn't bother to think his heroic deeds through before wading into action.  However, the grateful Ray invites Hancock home to dinner to meet his lovely wife Mary (Charlize Theron) and admiring son Aaron (Jae Head), and to give Hancock some pointers on how to improve his public image and more efficiently use his super powers without leaving such wanton destruction and negative publicity in his wake.



The superhero stuff, of course, is what makes HANCOCK intermittently entertaining.  It's fun to watch this comic variation of the Bruce Willis character in UNBREAKABLE blundering his way into tense situations and handling them in the most egregious, irresponsible ways possible.  It's also exciting and funny when, after finally donning the superhero costume Ray gives him and following some of his helpful advice, Hancock polishes his image by heroically saving the day when a group of ruthless bank robbers with hostages wired to explode begin shooting up a whole city block. 

Unfortunately, the movie doesn't really know what to do with itself when fun things like this aren't happening.  An earlier sequence which finds Hancock in prison for his misdeeds doesn't really go anywhere, and one particular scene in which he inserts a convict's head into another convict's ass, aside from being rather juvenile, is downright farcical.  I might accept such gross absurdity in a MEN IN BLACK-type live-action cartoon (maybe), but HANCOCK also wants to turn all heartrending and semi-realistic before it's through.  It's almost like a collision between "Heroes" and POLICE ACADEMY. 

A surprise plot-twist that occurs shortly before the halfway mark leads to vague, mystical revelations about Hancock's HIGHLANDER-esque past and some increasingly straight-faced melodrama.  It also results in a superhero battle right out of the tiresome Neo vs. Agent Smith showdown in MATRIX:REVOLUTIONS (complete with half-baked CGI weather effects slathered on for no good reason), by way of SUPERMAN II, with the sort of supercharged personal conflicts that are better suited to an X-MEN story.  To make up for the fact that there's no super-villain, we also get a bland trio of regular criminals out for revenge against our hero, but they end up serving merely as a plot contrivance.



Thank goodness, Will Smith is good enough to finesse his way through it all without much trouble.  Charlize Theron is also effective as Mary, mainly because her character is pretty consistently serious throughout, although she has her share of absurd moments. I was surprised when the closing credits revealed that Ray Embrey was played by Justin Bateman--wow, I thought he was still a teenager or something.  Anyway, he does a good job of making Ray warm, likable, and funny.  As Ray and Mary's son, Aaron, Jae Head has an appealingly natural quality.  Nancy Grace appears as herself in an unwelcome cameo.

Most of the special effects are pretty good, especially in the opening freeway chase, the train rescue, and the bank robbery sequence.  But then there's that hinky, cartoonish CGI that takes me out of the movie every time.  When multiple tornados and other weather anomalies descend upon the city during the big battle scene, it's just plain crummy-looking.  Really, this kind of stuff needs considerable refinement if filmmakers are going to continue relying on it so much.  Worse, Peter Berg's direction of the quieter scenes is clumsy, and the poor cinematography and editing often make the movie look much cheaper than it is. 

HANCOCK has its crowd-pleasing moments of big summer fun, but they're scattered within an inconsistent hodgepodge of comic book superheroics, somber pathos, and outlandish farce.  Although the ending tries to evoke stirring memories of SPIDERMAN, Tim Burton's BATMAN, and, surprisingly, DAREDEVIL, I found my interest in this particular tale waning long before any hopes for a sequel.  Not only did I not walk out of the theater eager for the impending DVD release, but the main image from the movie that lingered in my mind--regrettably--was that of a guy with his head rammed up another guy's ass.

HANCOCK -- Movie Review by Porfle

SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/20/09

 

If you're trying to think of a grandiose name for two dullards trudging around in the wilderness for a couple of hours, then I guess SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA (2007) is about as good as any.

Orn (Tony Stone) is the lead singer for a hair-metal band, and Volnard (Fiore Tedesco) is the bass player. Okay, they aren't, but they certainly resemble that more than the badass Vikings from the year 1007 that they're supposed to be.

After the rest of their party either get wiped out by the Skraelings (Native Americans) or hightail it back to Norse-ylvania, the two stranded scouts ask "Dude, where's my ship?" and decide to try and walk cross-continent until they run into either another expedition or a bunch of polar bears, whichever comes first. After observing these guys in action for awhile, you may start to suspect that it wasn't any accident they were left behind.

Anachronism is sometimes used in an attempt to give the characters a more contemporary appeal. One scene begins with the generously-maned Orn greeting the morning by actually headbanging to Judas Priest outside their makeshift enclosure. Elsewhere, a dialogue exchange around the campfire might've been scripted by the guys from MST3K:

"I caught this f**king fish so don't be trying to hog it all."
"Ah, shut the hell up."
"This fish is really killer."

Lots of wood-chopping and even more trudging are interrupted here and there by a few meager plot points, heralded by chapter titles such as "Stranded", "Camp", "Conquest", "Encounters", "Separation", "Reunion", etc. After stumbling across a couple of Christian monks who have escaped Norse captivity and constructed a humble log chapel in the forest, Orn and Volnard slay the two and burn down their chapel.

Actually, Volnard secretly releases his monk back into the wild, still feeling guilty after once killing a Christian who converted his sister only to witness her suicide leap from a cliff in response. Volnard decides to abandon Orn and travel with the monk (David Perry) instead, intrigued by his new religion.

Devout Odin-worshipper Orn, meanwhile, is followed by one of those unbelievably hot Native American babes that exist only in the movies (Noelle Bailey)--she gazes at him from afar in standard serial-killer POV--until she finally decides to lay him out with some knockout berries, transport him to her dwelling, stake him out, and rape him.  Well, you know those hair-metal groupies.

In an interesting dream sequence, Gaby Hoffman of "Uncle Buck" fame appears as Orn's wife and tells him what a total failure he is, with which most viewers by this time will heartily concur. After a few more random occurrences, including an eventual reunion with Volnar, the rambling storyline finally drops dead of exhaustion.

In tone, SEVERED WAYS seems to be going for a cross between James Fenimore Cooper, "Jeremiah Johnson", and "Quest for Fire." Although at times, it also looks like the result of a collaboration between The Discovery Channel and shock filmmaker John Waters, as demonstrated by a couple of scenes that shoot right to the top of my list of "Things I Really Didn't Need or Want to See."

The runner-up is the sequence in which Orn catches a chicken and then proceeds to behead, pluck, and gut it. I know this happens to chickens all the time, but for some hapless fowl to sacrifice its life in the making of this movie seems above and beyond the call of duty.

But that's nothing compared to what is without a doubt the most memorable scene in the film, in which we get to watch Tony Stone take a dump. Yes, movie fans, you heard right. He takes down his pants, allows his bare butt to precipitously hover just long enough to make us think "Oh, no you're not", and then, sure enough, he does--copiously, in fact--and we're treated to a graphic image that will linger in our minds for the rest of the film, if not our lives. This isn't acting, it's just some doofus heaving a Havana.

Even without such dubious cinematic milestones, Stone's hyperactive directing style is all over the place, and too much of it consists of getting a really tight shot of someone or something and then shaking the hell out of the camera (the film often resembles "The Blair Viking Project"). Stone also has an affinity for lens flares that might have you grabbing for your shades.

Admittedly, there's an awful lot of visual beauty in this film, but considering the consistently gorgeous wilderness locations (in Vermont and Newfoundland) this would seem unavoidable. At times, the camera lingers on certain images for so long that they're obviously meant to have a hypnotic effect on the viewer. Unfortunately, it's the kind in which you hear a guy's voice saying, "You are getting sleepy..." That's where the soundtrack comes in handy, because we never know when the next blast of heavy metal or strident prog-synth is going to jar us out of our stupors.

The DVD's 2.35:1 widescreen image is good, although the film sometimes has that noticeable digital video look. Sound is Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0, with the occasional dubbed Old Norse dialogue subtitled in English and Spanish. Bonus features include a couple of deleted snippets, some nice footage shot at an actual Viking settlement in Newfoundland, four brief "video fireplace"-type ambient scenes representing the four elements, and, for some reason, an extended slow-motion look at the burning of that log chapel.

Rounding out the bonus features are two of the film's trailers, which are very well-done and promise an epic entertainment which SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA is unable to deliver. It's an intriguing premise which might have made for an interesting film if actor-writer-producer-director Tony Stone hadn't allowed it to become such a self-indulgent ego trip. Not only that, but he deserves a swift kick for tricking us into watching him pitch a loaf on camera. (Gee, how come Hitchcock or Kubrick never thought of that?) This is the kind of film that's often lauded as an alternative to the usual Hollywood "cookie-cutter" fare, but in this case, I'll have a cookie, thanks.

SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA -- DVD Review by Porfle

DAMON AND PYTHIAS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 8/14/12

 

I was expecting the usual comic-book-level sword 'n' sandal yarn with DAMON AND PYTHIAS (1962), but this Italian/USA co-production--released by MGM--aims to be a sober, respectable historical tale and in its own relatively modest way manages to hit that mark pretty well.

When the ruler of Athens dies, Pythias (Don Burnett) is sent to Syracuse to fetch his replacement, a missionary named Arcanos (Andrea Bosic) who is there preaching brotherhood and equality while being hunted by the guards of tyrannical emperor Dionysius (Arnoldo Foà).  Pythias falls victim to and then befriends a charismatic street thief, Damon (Guy Williams), who finds inspiration in Pythias' bravery and beliefs. 

When Pythias is captured and condemned to death by Dionysius, Damon offers himself as a substitute so that Pythias may return to Athens to visit his ailing wife Nerissa, with the promise that he will return in two months' time.  Dionysius agrees, confident that Pythias will never return and thus disprove the Greek's liberal philosophies in the eyes of the people when Damon is publicly executed. 

Filmed partly at Cinecitta studios in Rome, DAMON AND PYTHIAS is colorful and eye-pleasing, with attractive sets and some scenic locations along with several impressive and authentic-looking subterranean interiors.  While the sword 'n sandal flicks that this closely resembles seem inherently juvenile, this production succeeds in presenting its story with maturity and restraint but can't avoid also being rather dry and slow-moving.  Only when the substitution deal is made does the plot take a suspenseful turn that puts some spark into it. 

With so much dialogue, it's good that the writing is fairly sharp and most of the cast are able to carry it all off well.  Arnoldo Foà's subtlety and lack of the usual villainous traits make his Dionysius interesting to watch--he even bursts out with delighted laughter at an insult the captive Damon levels at cruel head guard Cariso (Carlo Giustini), and shows fatherly love for his son even while earnestly teaching him the most vile philosophies.

It's fun to see Guy Williams of TV's "Zorro" and "Lost in Space" as one of those cheerful rogues who constantly taunt and elude authority figures while running around doing roguish things.  His evolution into a more thoughtful and responsible person under Pythias' influence is touching.  As Damon's steady gal Adriana, the beautiful Liana Orfei proves as adept at playing a fiesty peasant woman as she is at being the Queen herself, as in HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES a year later. 

Don Burnett makes a rather bland Pythias, especially next to Ilaria Occhini as his emotional wife Nerissa. Her deliciously overwrought performance is a delight, with Occhini becoming wonderfully unhinged during her final scene with Burnett, perhaps the film's dramatic highpoint.  Fans of THE GREAT ESCAPE will recognize Lawrence Montaigne as Damon's flute-playing accomplice in thievery.

German director Curtis Bernhardt, whose other credits include MISS SADIE THOMPSON, THE MERRY WIDOW, and KISSES FOR MY PRESIDENT, gives the entire production a stately veneer but manages a few effective action sequences.  In the film's final moments, Pythias attempts to return to Syracuse only to be headed off by Dionysius' guards, later engaging in a hand-to-hand clash with Cariso himself. 

Best of all is the sequence midway through the film in which Damon, Pythias, and Arcanos flee from a band of guards via horseback and horse-drawn cart, staged thrillingly by Bernhardt with some amazing stuntwork (including, alas, one of those cringeworthy horse-tripping stunts).

The "manufactured on demand" DVD from the Warner Archive Collection is in 16x9 widescreen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  No subtitles or extras.  The print used looks pretty good to me, although as I've said before I'm not nearly as picky about such things as the usual videophile. 

What might've been a much more emotional ending is simply cut short abruptly--there's no follow-through to send DAMON AND PYTHIAS home with a genuine emotional catharsis.  Then again, the film doesn't gush all over us to get its message across, but states it simply and succinctly before bowing out.  I may not have been deeply moved, but I felt pretty good overall about having watched this surprisingly thoughtful and mature film about the true meaning of friendship and brotherly love.

DAMON AND PYTHIAS -- DVD Review by Porfle

HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 8/10/12

 

It's been a long time since I was a kid and my local TV station used to show Italian sword-and-sandal flicks on a weekly show called "Saturday Spectacular."  So I'm no expert on the genre but I can tell if an example of it is entertaining or not, and in its own blissfully hokey and cheapjack-"spectacular" way, 1963's HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES is just that. 

This briskly-paced Warner Archive Collection DVD release comes through with the action sequences we expect without too much lollygagging around in between.  It begins with Greek strongman Hercules (Kirk Morris) and his smaller but smarter pal Ulysses (Enzo Cerusico) setting sail from Ithica with their valiant crew to hunt down a sea monster (which, if I'm not mistaken, is actually a live sea cow) that's been killing local fishermen. 

A terrible storm sinks their ship, drowns most of their crew, and leaves them stranded in Judea.  There, Hercules is mistaken for Samson (Richard Lloyd), a fugitive who battles against the oppression of tyrannical Philestine king Seren (Aldo Giuffrè). Seren threatens to kill Hercules' crew unless he brings the real Samson in dead or alive, but after a massive clash the two titans join forces against Seren, leading to an epic battle against his attacking army.

Admirers of bronzed beefcake will enjoy gawking at the sculpted pecs of matinee-idol handsome Hercules and those of the darker Samson, who resembles a cross between Victor Mature and Frank Stallone by way of the Hulk.  When these guys go mano a mano, they make a ruin of the ruins they're fighting in as fake slabs of granite go flying all over the screen.  Between tossing each other through stone walls and wrapping iron pipes around their opponents' necks, they even manage to work in a little Greco-Roman wrestling along the way.  It's a fight the likes of which I haven't witnessed since the Six Million Dollar Man took on Bigfoot.

Watching Samson devastate Seren's army singlehanded is equally exciting, as he rains down spears upon them with both hands to the accompaniment of some extremely goofy sound effects (and several horse-tripping stunts that should have animal lovers squirming in their seats).  Not to be outdone, Hercules whacks both a lion and a bull (at least it looks like a bull to me, though Hercules seems to have no idea what it is) with his bare hands, the latter providing a tasty mystery-meat feast for him and his men. 

But this is nothing compared to the spectacular climax in which Hercules, Samson, and Ulysses literally bring the house down while fighting off an advancing horde of Philestine soldiers who, oddly enough, sport German helmets left over from some World War II movie. 

Since she's dressed in such a stimulating military-chic dominatrix outfit for this final battle, it may be a good time to mention the gorgeous Liana Orfei as Philestine queen Delilah.  Despite the scenic locations and sometimes breathtaking sets (which I assume were left over from a much more expensive film), I found Liana to be the most stunning visual aspect of HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES, as Delilah--she of the prediliction for unsolicited haircuts--uses her seductive wiles against our stalwart heroes. 

Fortunately, Hercules has an equally hot babe (Diletta D'Andrea) waiting for him at home, and Samson's probably knee-deep in groupies when he isn't chucking spears through bad guys, so they manage to remain immune to the delectable Delilah's lacivious lure.  

Morris and Lloyd are adequately photogenic as the heroic hunks, with Enzo Cerusico a curious choice as Ulysses--he's more Bill Bixby than Lou Ferrigno--but this is no doubt meant to emphasize his superior intellect when it comes to figuring out smart stuff like "Push temple over on bad guys!" and "Dive off of burning ship!"  The one familiar face I recognized in the cast was that of Aldo Giuffrè ("Seren"), whom fans of THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY will fondly remember as the ill-fated Union officer who fantasized about blowing up that damn bridge.

The "manufactured on demand" DVD from the Warner Archive Collection is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound.  No subtitles.  A cool trailer is the sole extra.  I thought the print used looked very good, but be advised--I'm easily pleased. 

HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES doesn't try to be anything more than a lively, colorful, and unabashedly hokey live-action comic book adventure, and in this it meets expectations quite well.  The down-and-dirty rumble between the two big guys alone is worth the price of admission--even Chuck Norris might be hesitant to get involved once those granite blocks start flying.

HERCULES, SAMSON, AND ULYSSES -- DVD Review by Porfle

WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE -- Movie Review by Porfle

(Note: this review originally appeared online in 2007.)


Back in the 70s, there was this no-nonsense Tennessee lawman named Buford Pusser who got fed up with the rampant crime and corruption in his home of McNairy County and vowed to take decisive action against it, despite the cost--which eventually included his wife being killed and his jaw being shot off. Hollywood made a hit movie out of the story called WALKING TALL, which starred Joe Don Baker as Sheriff Pusser. Bo Svenson took over the role in two follow-ups, PART 2: WALKING TALL and FINAL CHAPTER: WALKING TALL, and in '04 the original movie was remade starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Since MGM knows a good property when they own it, they've decided to keep making WALKING TALL sequels regardless of the fact that they're no longer about a guy named Buford Pusser. Pusser's daughter Dwana isn't too happy about this, but Kevin Sorbo has to be thrilled since it's giving him something to do now that he isn't "Hercules" anymore. 2007 has already seen WALKING TALL:THE PAYBACK, and now we get the further adventures of Sorbo as some guy named "Nick Prescott" in WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE (2007).

To me, Sorbo is miscast as a hard-ass lone justice type of action hero--he's just too loose and easygoing, not exactly cut from the same material as Joe Don Baker, Bo Svenson, or The Rock. Most of the time he seems as though he'd rather be in something lighter, with more chances to toss off mildly witty lines and look bemused, and when he has to be really serious he's not all that convincing.

But the story has to give his character something to become really righteously vengeful about, of course, so it turns out his girlfriend Katie (Yvette Nipar) is a federal agent whose testimony is about to put a really bad drug kingpin named Perez (Rodrigo De La Rosa) behind bars. As you might guess, she and the other witnesses are brutally gunned down by Perez' goons, so Nick turns into a one-man killing machine and goes out looking for some "lone justice", WALKING TALL-style.

Or not. Actually, he rescues the surviving witness from another attempted hit and takes her to his mom's house in his tiny hometown in Texas to hole up and wait for the bad guy's trial to resume. So instead of going out looking for the bad guys, the bad guys come to him. And he isn't quite "lone"--there's two local lawmen and a few feds helping him out. It's not exactly the brand of heroic exploits that made Buford Pusser famous. So how does this even qualify as a "Walking Tall" movie as opposed to your usual grade-B action flick? I don't know.

Most of the cast are pretty good. Yvette Nipar is likable as Kate, and 15-year-old Haley Ramm (young Jean Grey in X-MEN: THE LAST STAND) gives possibly the best performance of the movie as Kate's daughter, Samantha, who naturally ends up in the clutches of a bad guy with a gun to her head as he growls at Nick to "drop the gun!" (In an early scene, Sam's mother tells her that Nick will be walking her to school in the morning, and she quips, "Great...I'll be on a milk carton by noon.") One of the other feds looks sorta like a grown-up "Beaver" Cleaver, which is always fun. And this movie has some pretty good bad guys in it, especially De La Rosa as "Perez." He plays the part with an understated menace that lends realism to the character except for the times when the script forces him to act like the standard bugged-out villain.

The action starts early with one of the oldest cliches in the book--our hero strolls into a convenience store and finds himself in the middle of a hold-up, in which the spittle-sputtering robbers little realize that they've just stumbled into a "Walking Tall" movie and are about to confront the star of it. It's the sort of thing that happened to Dirty Harry a lot, but instead of pulling out a hand cannon and blasting away, Nick Prescott pops up from behind some shelves, throws a can of whole-kernel corn, and knocks out the clerk. Then he takes out the totally ineffective gunmen with some clumsy moves that would have Chuck Norris either laughing his ass off or setting his TV on fire just by looking at it.

Some of the scenes here and there manage to get pretty good, especially the one in which Nick is trying to hide the gravely-wounded witness as a hit squad stalks the hospital looking for her. There's a thumb-snipping bloody torture sequence later on that should set your nerves on edge. And a confrontation between the good guys and the bad guys in a remote cornfield starts out well, but soon falls victim to what proves to be this movie's ultimate downfall as a whole--the outta control non-stop stylistic freakout of its aptly-named director, Tripp Reed.

The camerawork and editing here are an ADD nightmare--Twitchy-Zoom, Shaky-Cam, speed-up/slow-down and double-image effects, focus fiddling, sequences that appear as though the film were simply chopped up and stuck back together at random and then sprayed with Cheez-Whiz, and every other pointlessly distracting effect you can think of.  If that kind of stuff doesn't really irritate you, great, but if it does, prepare to be really irritated.

The unfortunate thing about WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE is that there might actually be a fairly entertaining low-grade shoot-em-up here if you didn't have all that visual confetti flying at you from beginning to end. In the future, director Tripp Reed needs to stop trippin', settle down, and use what talent he seems to have trying to shoot a movie that doesn't fidget all over the place like a speed freak in Sunday School.

WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE -- Movie Review by Porfle

GAME CHANGERS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/5/17

 

GAME CHANGERS (Candy Factory Films, 2016) is the story of two childhood friends, extrovert Bryan (Brian Bernys in a riveting performance) and introvert Scott (Jake Albarella), once world-famous gaming superstars in their youth but now settling into a relatively uneventful adulthood doing computer stuff in Bryan's family IT company.

But after sort of a mid-youth crisis, Bryan decides to go all-out in an effort to get that old magic back, build up a young crew of hardcore gamers led by himself and Scott, and take on the gaming world again. 

Can he succeed, or is it too late?  And can Scott give up his own dreams of making it in a world of adult responsibility?

Bryan is one of those love-him AND hate-him characters whose obsessive behavior is both maddening and, in a way, understandable.  Anyway, he behaves just the way we expect him to--in short, he can be a real dick. And yet, we can't help rooting for him on some level.

Scotty, on the other hand, is a loyal friend who allows himself to be used by Bryan until, finally, his loyalty is pushed too far.  This is especially true when Bryan unforgivably sabotages shy Scott's budding romance with a cute co-worker, Katt, who shares many of his nerdish interests. 

Scintillating conflicts abound between Bryan and Scott, Bryan and his dad, Bryan and girlfriend/co-worker Natalie, Bryan and Jake (who has been hired to evaluate efficiency within the company and who also becomes Bryan's rival for Natalie)--basically, Bryan and the rest of the world.  Only when Bryan faces the prospect of losing Scott's friendship does he come close to reining himself in.

 

Writer/director Rob Imbs (COUCH, "Fart Force") handles it all with a deft, confident touch, hitting just the right tone in every scene and never going for  a cheap laugh or succumbing to maudlin sentiment.

Dialogue is sharp but natural, even when the guys are deep into their most intense gaming sessions or when fervent comic fans discuss their favorite graphic novels.  But you don't have to know a single thing about gaming, or nerd culture in general, to find the dramatic tension in these scenes deeply involving.

GAME CHANGERS is a terrific blend of nerd fantasy and serious interpersonal drama that goes for the unexpected just when you think it's just about to hit all the old buttons.  For a film that could have easily been the BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO of gaming flicks, this is refreshingly close to being the genre's CINCINNATI KID.


Type: DVD/Digital HD (iTunes, Amazon, Google Play)
Running Time: 91 minutes
Rating: N/A
Genre: Dramedy
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
Audio: Stereo
Street Date: July 11, 2017

GAME CHANGERS -- DVD Review by Porfle

"STAR WARS" Death Star Finale With Countdown Music From "ALIENS" (video)

 What if the Death Star attack finale in "Star Wars"...

...had the classic James Horner countdown music from "Aliens"?

This is what it might sound like.

The Star Wars no-music segment used in this video was created as a sound editing experiment by YouTube user If Blank Directed Blank.

 

Originally posted on 4/29/21
I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.
Thanks for watching!

 

"STAR WARS" Death Star Finale With Countdown Music From "ALIENS" (video)

Worst-Ever Closeup Of Sigourney Weaver In Any Alien Movie ("Aliens", 1986) (video)

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it.

Thanks for watching!

Worst-Ever Closeup Of Sigourney Weaver In Any Alien Movie ("Aliens", 1986) (video)

LIFE OF SIGNIFICANT SOIL -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/27/17

 

If you took GROUNDHOG DAY, removed the comedy, and replaced Bill Murray with a young couple whose relationship is on its last legs and in need of some serious revising, you'd have something like the romantic drama LIFE OF SIGNIFICANT SOIL (2016).

Charlotte Bydwell is Addison, an aspiring dancer whose aspirations have dissolved into the malaise that is her relationship with Conor (Alexis Mouyiaris), an irresponsible, self-centered manchild who takes her for granted.

Con wants the stability of his life with Add, while maintaining a steady sex life with Jackie (Anna Jack), a ditzy blonde who lives in the apartment downstairs and has a sad unrequited love for him.

The GROUNDHOG DAY premise kicks in when Con and Add start reliving the same day over and over again, beginning with their air-conditioner conking out every morning and Add finding out, via a home testing kit, that she's pregnant. 

Eventually they catch on to what's happening--even, in one of the more interesting scenes, visiting a doctor to find out if there's some medical cause--and, after accepting it as a fact, discover it to both accentuate the things that are wrong between them and also give them a chance to work them out.

Unfortunately, Con's irresponsibility and Add's dissatisfaction present seemingly insurmountable obstacles for their continued coexistence, with Add repeatedly trying to leave him while he begs her to stay. 

Regardless of what they do, however--including Add getting an illicit abortion and then waking up later to find Con missing and presumed in bed with Jackie again--everything resets itself in the morning (including her pregnancy) and the same day must be played out yet again with varying results.

 

Writer/director Michael Irish, in his feature debut, gives the direction and photography a sort of artsy hand-held casualness that fits the low-key material.  LIFE OF SIGNIFICANT SOIL isn't a comedy, although it has its sadly amusing aspects, nor does it veer into heavy drama, though sadly dramatic it often is. 

Instead, there's a sort of resigned existentialism and wistfully meta melancholy running through the story, during which the characters engage in much introspection and contemplation of their lot in life.  Add, especially, yearns for something more, yet is continually reticent to leave the dependant Con and venture into the unknown. 

All of this must sound like chick-flick hell to some, yet LIFE OF SIGNIFICANT SOIL is surprisingly watchable and engaging if you settle into it just right.  While the ending doesn't exactly blow the doors off the place, it's just oddly effective enough to leave me a bit wistful and contemplative myself.

LIFE OF SIGNIFICANT SOIL -- Movie Review by Porfle

SAVING BANKSY -- DVD Review by Porfle

An interesting thing about documentaries is that you can like a documentary and think it's a good one even if you don't buy its message.  Which is the exactly the case with me and SAVING BANKSY (Candy Factory Films, 2017).  I like it and I think it's really good, but I think the message it's trying to convey is pretty much a load of hooey.

Not that the film is too painfully one-sided in its portrayal of street art/graffiti as sort of a people's art form and Banksy, the mysterious, unknown maestro who reigns as its most celebrated purveyor, as a noble folk hero.  Yes, the cause is presented in a positive light and we're persuaded to sympathize with it, but the actual preaching is mostly left up to the other street artists who are interviewed and by various self-serving quotes attributed to Banksy himself.

These other artists discuss their medium and its messages for awhile, giving the uninitiated a crash course in the subject and laying the groundwork for the main gist of the film which is whether or not Banksy's work should be left to fade away as intended, be painted over by building owners or other "taggers", or somehow be preserved by art collectors and/or preservationists either for display to the public or sale to wealthy collectors.

The latter, of course, goes against the anti-establishment, anti-elitism, anti-capitalism spirit in which the art is created in the first place.  So amidst much handwringing by Banksy's peers we're presented the tale of an earnest art collector who removes a Banksy piece board by board from the side of a building in San Francisco so that it can be displayed free-of-charge to the public, and a somewhat mercenary art dealer who wants to buy it for half a million dollars so that he can make a profit from it.

For the other street artists, both prospects are an anathema.  They seem to fancy themselves as noble renegades, like comic book nerds playing superhero--the Spirit with a brush, the Phantom with a spray can, the Batman with a ladder and some stencils--but with enough artistic cred to have much of the public buy into the image. 

As for me, I say that if your canvas consists of public or private property then you don't have much of a say about the eventual fate of your work.  Nobody's "stealing" it since it doesn't physically belong to the artist anyway. 

 

Besides, if you leave something lying around in the street, or hanging on a wall somewhere--including your precious rebel artworks which, to be frank, amount to vandalism anyway--you have only yourself to blame if someone makes off with it to hang in a gallery or sell to the highest bidder.

Another point to consider is the fact that, during the time this documentary was filmed, there was a city ordinance in San Francisco that made the building owner responsible for eliminating any such "art" on their buildings under penalty of a fine--taking the matter into a whole new area of responsibility and consequence apart from whatever artistic concerns there may be, and underlining the fact that such graffiti qualifies as a public nuisance.

But why do they do it in the first place? According to such street artists as Banksy friend Ben Eine (among several others interviewed) it's for the adrenaline rush, the excitement of doing something illegal, and the desire to make political and social statements. 

Yet by virtue of their chosen medium they're hardly in a position to complain about how their illicit works end up, or if indeed whether their intended impermanence is thwarted by those seeking to preserve them.

It's interesting to hear these taggers complaining about Banksy's art itself being tagged, "defaced" as it were, as though the lower class of upstart graffiti artists have the nerve to disrespect the upper class of graffiti artists.

And of course, the earnest art collectors come under criticism for being so uncool as to want to preserve Banksy's art for others to appreciate over time rather than grooving over the profundity of how fleeting it is.

As for Banksy himself, he's clearly a talented artist with a wicked sense of humor, yet no more so, in my view, than a clip-art illustrator with an attitude. 

What sets his work apart from any other observational satirist is simply where, how, and under what conditions he chooses to display his work--the fact that it's illegal, and, yes, vandalism, is just as much a part of whatever statement he's making as the content itself.

The documentary, directed by Colin M. Day, is brisk, lean, concise, challenging, and very watchable regardless of one's view on the subject.  Best of all, it successfully presents both sides of it in a way that invites passionate response, as I myself have expressed.  Someone with an opposing viewpoint would, I'm sure, be just as inspired by this film to express theirs. 

Meanwhile, Banksy has gotten just what he wanted out of the whole thing--notoriety, disruption of the status quo, attention to his message, and controversy about things like art vs. commerce.

Rather than any kind of folk hero, as many choose to see him, he strikes me as a very industrious gadfly--perhaps even a mentally-deranged one, striving to satisfy some driving obsession that goes beyond politics or mere social commentary.  

Tech Specs
Color
69 minutes
Stereo
Aspect Ratio 1:77
Bonus: Behind-the-scenes featurette (17 min.)
Reversible cover art
SavingBanksy.com

SAVING BANKSY -- DVD Review by Porfle

GIRL IN WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/22/16

 

It looks like it's going to be one of those "predicament" stories like THE REEF or OPEN WATER, and more specifically like another go at Stephen King's "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" but with a grown-up girl lost in the woods this time instead of a little one.

But it isn't.  Hoo boy, is it not.

The aptly-titled GIRL IN WOODS (Candy Factory Films, 2016) is about Grace (Juliet Reeves, AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION, LAY THE FAVORITE), who probably doesn't even know who Tom Gordon is and wouldn't be out there in the first place if her boyfriend Jim (Reeves' real-life husband Jeremy London, MALLRATS, GODS AND GENERALS) hadn't invited her to his secluded cabin to pop the question.

The morning after their engagement Jim takes Grace on a hike deep into the woods and then, just when she's good and lost, manages to shoot himself in the head.  This puts Grace in an awkward position, one from which it will take the rest of the movie for her to extricate herself.  But does therein lie the entire plot?

Hardly.  GIRL IN WOODS is in no way your usual predicament thriller for one simple reason: Grace is a little nuts.  At first I thought there was something a tad "off" about Juliet Reeves' performance, because she was playing Grace in a strangely disaffected manner, as though the character weren't "all there." 

Then I gradually realized that Grace ISN'T all there. In fact, she's so far from "there" that in no time, the situation in which she finds herself quickly becomes a descent into one level of madness after another, with flashbacks from her troubled childhood (horrific images of Daddy committing suicide and boogeymen invading her bedroom at night) constantly assailing her along with a series of nightmarish hallucinations. 

This gives the story a whole new dimension beyond the usual survival theme, with Grace's ideas for survival proving not only unconventional but downright shocking. The story takes place not just in the woods but also largely in the dark depths of her warped mind, where the past keeps playing itself out in increasingly disturbing ways.

To make things worse, two distinct sides of her personality--the rational and the feral--begin to appear to her as separate entities (giving Reeves a chance to really prove her acting talent) and battle over whether or not she'll remain civilized or surrender to utter savagery. 

Writer-director Jeremy Benson keeps it all well-paced and scintillating enough to maintain our avid interest right up to the fadeout (stick around through the end credits for the newspaper headlines) with only a few slightly draggy spots here and there.  Mainly he does a fine job with a story that takes place in a forest and in the mind of a character who is usually alone on the screen.

Grace does get "visits" from a loving grandfather (John Still) who beckons her to join him (he's dead, by the way) and from her parents (Lee Perkins as "Dad" still sports his suicidal head shot).  The lovely Charisma Carpenter (THE EXPENDABLES, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") is memorable as "Momma", whom we come to feel may not have been the most healthy influence on little Grace (Shaun Benson). 

Will Grace survive, and if so, what will be left of her?  Things don't totally come together until near the end, when all the stuff we're not supposed to know yet starts falling into place.  Then the plot twists come one after another and mess with your expectations in all sorts of ways, and GIRL IN WOODS turns out to be one of those intensely involving movies that make your imagination feel like it just had a full-body massage.

GIRL IN WOODS -- Movie Review by Porfle

BENDER -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/23/17

 

You might think a Western about America's first family of serial killers would be a hootin' and hollerin' free-for-all of frontier gore, played as much for laughs as for queasy thrills.

But first-time director and co-writer John Alexander had a more interesting vision for the fact-based BENDER (2016, Candy Factory Films), making it look like a series of stark Matthew Brady photographs brought to solemn, melancholy life with muted colors and even more muted mental and emotional turmoil seething below the surface of its severely odd characters.

The Kansas prairie of 1873 seems endless and capable of swallowing up the unwary traveller.  This appears to have happened to several patients and acquaintances of Dr. York (Jon Monastero), who sets out in search for them one day and ends up at the tiny Bender home in the middle of nowhere. 

While Alexander directs all his actors to speak with a stiff formality that makes them seem odd to begin with, there's something exceedingly wrong about the Benders despite their initial pretense of civility. 

Ma (Leslie Woodies) draws Dr. York in with the promise of a meal, but it's daughter Kate (Nicole Jellen), a strange, almost supernatural girl (she claims to be a "healer" and a "seer"), who intrigues the mild-mannered doctor with her ethereal beauty and knowing, almost seductive demeanor.

Kate's taciturn little brother is a peculiar enough little sprout himself, though nothing compared to the old man--Pa Bender is veteran actor James Karen (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD) at his most gloriously unpleasant, giving a whole new meaning to the word "grizzled." It's one of his best roles ever, and he's obviously having a ball with it.

What happens next is shocking, with an otherwise normal scenario taking an abrupt turn into the utterly demented.  And still, BENDER doesn't descend into the expected exploitation fare, keeping its restrained Old West ambience in uneasy juxtaposition to the horrors occurring beyond the knowledge of an inquisitive sheriff (Buck Taylor playing another of his wonderfully authentic Western characters) and a concerned town mayor (Bruce Davison, WILLARD, DISPLACEMENT).

Even when a doozy of a plot twist rears its head late in the story, things continue along a slow, deliberate course that unhurriedly plays itself out until a curiously understated but satisfying ending caps the tale off in suitably morbid fashion.

The overall mood is a richly evocative sort of prairie Gothic with almost a hint of Lovecraft adding a dark undercurrent to the frontier trappings.  Even the scenes set in a nearby town, where longtime fave Linda Purl (MAID OF HONOR) plays one of Dr. York's clinging patients, betray a general sense of unease and emotional malady among its wary denizens.

Absorbing and ultimately rewarding for the patient viewer, the stylishly-photographed BENDER takes its familiar, atmospheric Old West setting and infuses it with the perverse and strange, showing us what goes on behind the closed doors of the "Little Abattoir on the Prairie." 


Tech Specs
Type: DVD/Digital/HD
Running time: 75 min.
Rating: N/A
Color
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Audio: 5.1 surround
Closed captioned
Street date: Aug. 1, 2017

BENDER -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE WEDDING PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/11/17

 

I've heard of movies that were shot all in one single take, but I've never seen one until now. THE WEDDING PARTY (Candy Factory Films, 2016), bless its adventuresome little heart, starts when it starts and ends when it ends, all in one glorious, impossibly extended camera shot.  And yes, it's just as amazing as you might think.

The story is a simple ensemble comedy about an outdoor post-wedding party in which the bride and groom's friends, all verging on middle age but dealing with the same relationships and hangups they've had since high school, interact in ways both humorous and touching. 

Revelations are made--the class horndog is really kind of lonely, the clown has a heart beneath his clumsy exterior, the Miss Perfect type is really Miss Messed-Up, and so on.  Bride and groom have the usual lingering doubts about what they've just gotten into, while the event gives their friends pause to assess their lives thus far.

 

The groom's best friend Jim (Blake Lee) and the bride's best friend Alex (Allison Paige) are enlisted to hold everything together on the fly when the wedding planner goes boobs-up after an accidental overdose of nerve pills, and it's their frantic attempt to avert various disasters (such as a cake-bakers' strike) while nursing their own tentative romance that makes for what turns out to be a fairly engaging story that becomes warmer and more comfortable as we settle into it.

That said, the thing that really makes me sit up straight and take extra special notice of THE WEDDING PARTY is that one-take thing.  I'm talking approximately one hour and fifty-seven minutes between the time writer and first-time director Thane Economou, in an utterly dazzling feature debut, said "Action!" to the final "Cut!", with nary a gaffe, miscue, blown line, or act of nature to mar a single moment of it. 

The action all takes place in a house and a backyard, all choreographed in what appears to be a singularly prodigious feat of cinematic stagecraft.  It must've been fascinating watching actors, steadicam operator, and crew all moving in balletic conjunction from one setting and vignette to the next, and we can imagine that during each pause for dialogue there's a bustle of activity behind the camera as everyone scurries to get ready for the focus to swing around to them. 

As the crew do their jobs with clockwork efficiency, we're impressed by how smoothly the actors perform their intricate exchanges and bits of business--it's as though they're been performing this script on stage for so long that it's become second nature to them.

 

It's a good story and would've been enough to hold our interest under normal conditions, but as executed here, what we see unfoldling before the roving camera is often nothing short of astonishing. 

Performances, needless to say, are top-notch from everyone involved, from the leads right down to the bit players.  The story twists and turns itself in predictable but pleasing ways, and for the most part both the lighthearted comedy and the more heartfelt moments work.  But the effect of all this is  amplified, and unavoidably overshadowed, by the fact that we're witnessing a superbly rendered technical marvel the entire time. 

Even Hitchcock got to stop every ten minutes or so to reload his film cameras when he crafted ROPE out of a series of unbroken takes linked by hidden edits.  With THE WEDDING PARTY, an above-average but rather innocuous coming-of-middle-age comedy-drama ventures boldly beyond even that feat of filmmaking to become something wonderfully, exhilaratingly unique. I wish I could have been there to give them a standing ovation when it was done.


PROGRAM INFORMATION
Type: DVD//Digital HD (iTunes, Amazon, Google Play) 
Running Time:119 mins.
Rating:  N/A
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Aspect Ratio:2.35:1
Audio: 5.1 Surround Sound

Coming to DVD ($14.99) and Digital HD on Platforms Including iTunes, Amazon and Google Play

Street Date: June 13, 2017

THE WEDDING PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle