HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD -- DVD Review by Porfle

"Eve." She doesn't actually wear a bikini--more like two strips of gauze--but that doesn't matter since she gets naked pretty quick anyway. A carnal encounter with Ingrid reveals Eve's tendency to crackle with electricity whenever they connect the minus to the minus, so to speak.
in regard to the sex scenes while boasting pretty much the same cast. This time Frankie Cullen and Tony Marino play Jack and Roger, a couple of office drones who decide to unwind at a flashy new strip club called Shadows, which just happens to be a front for a bunch of beautiful vampires who drain male customers of their money, sexual energies, and blood.
their considerable poledancing skills. Ultra-fabulous babe Brandin Rackley, who has instantly leapt into the top five of my favorite actresses of this week, is especially awesome in this department (although the exquisite Christine Nguyen offers her close competition in terms of hotness). The opposite of her goofy "Ingrid" character from BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, Brandin's "Tabitha" is sublimely gorgeous and seductive. In fact, she should be receiving my marriage proposal in the mail any day now, and my fingers are crossed that she'll check the "yes" box. Wish me luck! 
BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS -- DVD Reviews by Porfle
Originally posted on 5/7/09
I'm fascinated by the early days of television, and you can't get much earlier, or more fascinating, than SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION.
This is Jurassic TV, a primitive-looking, melodramatic thriller anthology that premiered in 1949 and lasted for 260 live, half-hour episodes until 1954. Ninety of those episodes have been unearthed and are now available in this 12-disc set which spans the series' entire run.
As in any anthology series, the quality of the writing varies--in fact, some of the stories are clunkers. But for the most part, these episodes are consistantly exciting and imaginative, and live up to the series' title with stories that quickly establish a suspenseful situation and then keep us on edge till the end.
Several stories are adapted from the works of authors such as Robert Louis Stevenson and Edgar Allan Poe. Rod Serling's contribution, the eerie "Nightmare at Ground Zero", is a tense and unsettling atom-bomb tale that really stretches the limits of live television.
Knowing that these teleplays were performed live gives them the immediacy of theater combined with the intimacy of television. You can imagine the actors and crew rushing into their next set-ups during a slow dissolve, and sometimes you can hear them doing it, too.
Gaffes by these skilled actors are few, while the occasional technical blooper is unavoidable. In "The Comic Strip Murder", a piece of equipment can be seen moving past a high-rise balcony like a UFO. In "The Parcel", a stock clip of a crowd enjoying a ballgame runs out before the director can cut to Ray Walston, Royal Dano, and Conrad Janis sitting in a bleacher mock-up. Cues are missed, boom mike shadows flit across walls, focusing is done on the fly, and sometimes you can even spot an errant crew member where he shouldn't be. But mistakes like this are part of the appeal of watching live television, and the fact that there are so few of them in this smoothly produced and directed (mostly by Robert Stevens) series is impressive.
Most of the stories are grounded in reality, with the occasional foray into the supernatural. The very first episode in this collection, "A Night at the Inn" with Boris Karloff, is an unabashedly nutball tale of a gang of thieves stalked by knife-wielding, turban-wearing Indians for stealing a sacred idol's jeweled eye, until the indignant idol itself shows up to reclaim it. Another episode, "Black Passage", features none other than Stella Adler as a hot-blooded Latin vampire and a very young William Prince as the unwary suitor of her equally bloodthirsty daughter.
Hardboiled crime drama rubs shoulders with frequent doses of Hitchcock-style mystery and creepiness, along with the type of macabre irony often found in EC comics. Richard Boone gives a super cool performance as a homicide cop closing in on a medical examiner whose guilt has been inadvertently captured on film in "Photo Finish." In "My Old Man's Badge", Barry Nelson plays a beat cop who singlehandedly takes on a drug-smuggling ring to avenge his father's murder, and in "Dead Fall", he's framed for passing industrial secrets to the Commies.
On the darker side, "Dr. Violet" gives us Hume Cronyn as the proprietor of a carnival murder museum who takes a chillingly active part in his exhibits, while "Dead Ernest" generates suspense by showing us a catatonic man mistakenly pronounced dead and lying on a morgue slab awaiting the embalmer.
One of the main pleasures of watching this collection is its incredible array of familiar faces, from past, present and future stars to the great character actors, often doing brilliant work. Ray Walston (billed as "Wallston" in one episode) and Royal Dano appear several times. Leslie Nielsen, just beginning his career as a dramatic actor which would later give way to comedy, stars in "The Brush Off" with future "Superman" star George Reeves. Boris Karloff shows up more than once and Bela Lugosi gives a delightfully florid performance in an adaptation of Poe's "The Cask of Amantillado."
Other notable names include Paul Newman, Otto Kruger, Kim Hunter, Anne Francis, Lee Marvin, Harold J. Stone, Conrad Janis, Eileen Heckart, Walter Matthau, Eddie Albert, Lloyd Bridges, Mike Kellin, Ward Bond, James Whitmore, Vic Morrow, Jackie Cooper, Brian Keith, Darren McGavin, Franchot Tone, Jack Klugman, Tom Drake, Gene Lyons, Cloris Leachman, Mildred Natwick, Lilli Palmer, Eva Marie Saint, Richard Kiley, Joan Blondell, Jack Palance, Eva Gabor, Peter Mark Richman, Jayne Meadows, Robert Webber, and many more. Several of them make multiple appearances.
These episodes are kinescopes, meaning that a monitor was filmed during the live performances so that copies of each episode could be sent to various network affiliates (this was before videotape or cable). This gives the show a somewhat murky picture and sound quality that is unavoidable; otherwise, however, I think these DVDs look very good.
The 12 discs are contained in six attractive slimline cases which were originally released in three seperate sets, and contain all 90 episodes of the show that are known to exist. The final episode, "The Funmaster" with Keenan Wynn, is the only non-live entry and was aired in 1958, four years after the show's demise, presumably in an effort to revive it.
The musical score for "Suspense" is performed almost entirely on Hammond organ (with the occasional piano, tubular bells, etc.) in the style of the early soap operas, and sounds similar to the music in Herk Harvey's CARNIVAL OF SOULS. As a bonus, almost every episode contains the original commercials for the show's sponsor, Auto-Lite automotive products, featuring dulcet-toned announcer Rex Marshall and a delightfully corny assortment of cartoons and animated clips.
SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION is over 43 hours of pure, unadulterated nostalgia that I found irresistibly entertaining. Whether you're a fan of early TV, or simply curious about what the medium looked like before it began to earn nicknames like "vast wasteland" and "boob tube", this time capsule from television's infancy should give you just the sort of buzz you're looking for. Buy it at
SUSPENSE: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION -- DVD Review by Porfle
Originally posted on 4/23/10
The story behind EVIL TOONS (1990) is probably more interesting than the movie itself--famed exploitation filmmaker Fred Olen Ray was asked to come in and do some nude scenes to punch up another film that was nearing completion, and when he saw all the locations and equipment right there for the taking, with the rental still paid up for several days, he figured it would be the perfect opportunity to do another project he was currently trying to finance. So he teamed up with producer Victoria Till and in eight days shot the "naked girls terrorized by a cartoon monster in a haunted house" flick he'd been wanting to make.
Whether or not it's very good is a matter that each individual viewer must judge. When four good-looking babes are hired to spend the weekend in an old mansion and clean it up for the new owners, only to find an EVIL DEAD-type book that produces a hellish creature after the wrong incantation is read aloud (when will people learn?), it seems as though we'll be in for a whole heap of rip-snortin', blouse-rippin' fun.
As it turns out, the movie is pretty bland--I found it much less lively than, for example, that old "USA Up All Night" staple H.O.T.S. But it does have its own low-budget charms. The lead actresses are mostly former and future "adult" stars who aren't exactly the most talented comediennes in Hollywood. Monique Gabrielle (AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON, BACHELOR PARTY) is probably the best of the bunch as brainy nerd Megan, who manages a few funny moments and is a really good screamer. Suzanne Ager (THE BIKINI CARWASH COMPANY), also a first-class screamer, is appealing as Terry and gets better when her character has more action-oriented stuff to do.
Porn star Barbara Dare, here billed as "Stacey Nix", is the weakest of the bunch. Not bad, really, just not very memorable. The most energetic performance comes from Madison Stone as Roxanne, who not only does a bouncy striptease but later gets possessed by the monster from the book and goes on a bloody rampage. (Her "creature" voice is dubbed by none other than Count Yorga himself, Robert Quarry.) Madison plays the monster role to the hilt, and always manages to rip her victims' tops off before sinking her big, pointy teeth into them.
The "evil toon" himself is interesting simply because the presence of a cartoon monster interacting with live actors is pretty rare for a film with such a low budget. The fact that he's very crudely animated and appears for only a short time is to be expected in these pre-CGI times when such effects were more costly and difficult to achieve. He does have a few amusingly horny reactions to Roxanne (a la the wolf character in the old MGM cartoon "Red Hot Riding Hood") and the scene in which he attacks her is relatively complex. His voice is dubbed by Fred Olen Ray himself, who is a much better director than he is a voice actor. He does get the film's best line: "You little bitch--I'll get you for this in the sequel!"
Probably the most interesting and disturbing thing about this movie occurs in the opening minutes when, in an extremely ironic coincidence, David Carradine's character hangs himself. (Yikes.) As Gideon Fisk, the man responsible for discovering the book and unwittingly unleashing its evil upon the world, Carradine obviously has a bit of a struggle taking the part seriously, yet seems to enjoy playing his mysterious caped character. His scenes were all shot in one day but are well-distributed throughout the film, and he has a major role in the semi-exciting finale.
Also adding a little name value to the cast are perennial fave Dick Miller and "Laugh-In" alumnus Arte Johnson. Dick plays Burt, the owner of the cleaning company the girls work for, and as always he's fun to watch even though he doesn't really have much to do. The scene in which he watches himself on TV during a late-night airing of BUCKET OF BLOOD provides the film with one of its best moments. Arte Johnson, as creepy neighbor Mr. Hinchlow, is strangely reserved and manages to come off as more genuinely creepy than funny (although he relishes delivering the film's closing zinger).
America's sweetheart Michelle Bauer (HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS, SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA, BIKINI DRIVE-IN, etc., etc.) makes a cameo appearance as Burt's wife which lasts all of twenty seconds. She does manage to get topless in that brief amount of time, and looks about as sweet as ever here, but I was sorely disappointed that she wasn't in the rest of the movie.
The DVD from Retromedia and Infinity Entertainment Group is in anamorphic widescreen and Dolby Digital. Extras include the original trailer, a "making of" featurette which consists mainly of Ray enthusiastically addressing the camera, a "workprint" clip that shows one of the later scenes in its unfinished form, a lengthy suite composed of themes from Chuck Cirino's synth score, and a "Nite Owl Theater" segment starring Ray, his wife, and various other lovely ladies, which is probably the funniest thing on the DVD.
Most interesting of all, I think, is Ray's commentary track which was recently recorded for this 20th anniversary edition. While many of his comments are scene-specific, he also delivers quite an informative monologue on the joys and hardships of independent filmmaking on a tiny budget, and laments the fact that, unlike the old days, the market for small but decent product is pretty much gone and he doesn't know where it went. We learn about fascinating things such as gate weave, short ends, and lens flare, how the cartoon effects were achieved, and how doing a small film such as EVIL TOONS just the way he wanted to is like a vacation compared to taking orders from some bean counter on a larger production.
I'm sure that some will find EVIL TOONS unbearably dull and lacking in entertainment value of any kind. Admittedly, it's a bit on the boring side at times and even when it goes into high gear near the end it's kind of like a Three Stooges comedy without the comedy. But darn it, there's just something endearing about this earnest little flick and I like it. I guess the magic of movies is a strange and unpredictable thing.
EVIL TOONS: 20TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION -- DVD review by Porfle



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"HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD" On DVD April 6th


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Two Sexy Horror Comedies on DVD Jan. 19!


Smithsonian Networks & Infinity Entertainment Group Proudly Present "The Real Story Part 1" On DVD Sept. 29th

"MAD MONSTER RALLY"--Triple Treasure Trove of Terror Unleashes on DVD July 21st

"Suspense: Ultimate Collection" -- Special 12-DVD Collector’s Set, in Stores May 19th