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Thursday, October 15, 2026

DEATH PASSAGE -- Movie Review by Porfle





Originally posted on 2/10/17



Red flag: teenagers running around in the woods at night, being menaced by an unseen, err...menace!  Sounds like potential run-of-the-mill generic "dead teenager" fodder, except this time--saints be praised!--it isn't.

Far from the gormless norm, in fact, is the 2015 Australian thriller-chiller DEATH PASSAGE (originally known by the considerably less evocative title "Lemon Tree Passage"), which, while not exactly all-out terrifying, is a shudder-inducing exercise in "eerie."

When three American tourists meet a couple of native Aussies on the beach, the five fun-loving teens share ghost stories around the campfire. One chilling tale involves an unfortunate soul run down one night by careless young joyriders at the crossroads of Lemon Tree Passage, his ghost now said to take the form of a bright light which follows any auto speeding down the dark roadway.


Naturally, they can't resist trying it themselves, and almost immediately the light appears.  Further investigation of the phenomena, however, elevates the situation from a lighthearted lark into a grueling ordeal of terror and death.  Which of course is bad for them, but good for us.

We can see right off the bat that director David Campbell's feature debut is going to be technically well-done, and the script dispenses with the usual stereotypical characters and willfully dumb dialogue in favor of a bit of realism for a change. 

The characters are pretty basic, including Americans Maya (Jessica Tovey, TRACKS, ADORE), her friend Amelia (Pippa Black), and Amelia's younger brother Toby (Tim Pocock).  Australian Geordie (Tim Phillipps), who catches Maya's eye, is pleasant enough, and even the resident "overweight funny guy", Geordie's pal Oscar (Andrew Ryan), is likable enough and doesn't pee on the campfire or light his farts.


The one wild card in this deck, seemingly, is Geordie's weird brother Sam (Nicholas Gunn).  We know Sam is bad news because the film opens with him being haunted by a malevolent supernatural presence which will show up again later while he's in the shower.  We don't know why he's being haunted, but it can't be good. 

Sooner or later, of course, things take a turn for the worst when the entire cast find themselves galumphing around in the pitch black forest at night, hearing far-off screams and seeing elusive lights flashing hither and yon. One by one, they either start to disappear or display strangely unexplained behavior as though possessed by a will not their own.

And this isn't just the usual stalker stuff packed with cheap jump scares.  Campbell and co-writer Erica Brien have a deviously twisty supernatural story to tell here, and they know how to wring all the creepy suspense and eerie atmosphere out of it. 


Things may drag a little at times or become a tad confusing here and there, but for the most part, that dark, foreboding forest becomes a theme park of fear with one dreadful surprise after another. 

After the final revelation comes, DEATH PASSAGE releases us from its cold, slimy grasp and lets us go about our way.  But until then, it's like a deluxe version of one of those creepy campfire tales that chill the blood and make us jump at every sound or movement that comes from beyond the flickering edge of the darkness.




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Wednesday, October 14, 2026

RAZORS -- Movie Review by Porfle





Originally posted on 10/25/16



One thing that can really benefit a low-budget indy horror flick is a great found location.  We saw that with PRISON OF THE PSYCHOTIC DAMNED, which took excellent advantage of New York's massive and extremely spooky old Buffalo Central Terminal, and more recently with the Italian zombie fest BURIAL GROUND. 

RAZORS (2016) gets the same kind of mileage out of a big dark old Victorian building (The Electrowerkz in London, England), without which, unfortunately, there would be little to recommend it.

An oddball screenwriting mentor, Professor Richard Wise (Thomas Thoroe), invites six young aspiring authors to the site in order to collaborate on the ultimate horror film script with the crumbling, labyrinthian building as their inspiration. 


One of them, Ruth (Kelby Keenan), has an added writer's aid--she claims to be in possession of a wooden case containing several razor-sharp knives that were the original killing instruments of none other than Jack the Ripper.

Naturally, they begin to experience strange, ghostly happenings and, in Ruth's case, weird dreams foretelling the murders of certain members of the party. Some of them encounter the ghost of a young girl from the Ripper's era who seems to be asking for their help. 

Others see Jack the Ripper himself, dressed in black slouch hat and cloak and in full kill-mode.  As the horror escalates, some of the group begin to suspect Professor Wise of being up to something sinister.


Along with its choice location, RAZORS benefits from good cinematography and a capable cast.  What ultimately does it in, however--besides a disjointed story that never really goes anywhere--is the editing. 

Seldom does a horror film contain such a jumble of montages, collages, and clumps of random images that look more like the editor having fun and making "art" than actually crafting a coherent narrative. 

And despite the film's inherent Gothic atmosphere, there's not much of a scare factor either.  The ghost girl, first seen only in brief glimpses, loses her creepiness when revealed up-close as a chatty costumed child actress in stagey makeup.


Frequent attempts at jump-scares seldom have the desired effect, nor do lots of screaming and occasional indulgences in gore.

Jack himself seems more of an ogrish working-class brute than the usual Victorian gentleman-gone-bad we're used to, and is even less effective when seen as a convulsive shirtless maniac covered in blood. 

I had high hopes for RAZORS due to the poster and stills, which gradually dissipated during the film's less-than-riveting running time.  It's apparently intended as the first in a projected horror franchise, but after the abrupt, lackluster ending, I wasn't exactly yearning for more. 





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Tuesday, October 13, 2026

All The Flying Saucer Shots From "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (Ed Wood, 1959) (video)




"Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959)

Written, Edited, Produced, and Directed by
Edward D. Wood, Jr.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!



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Monday, October 12, 2026

Criswell's Nuttiest Moments From Ed Wood's "Orgy of the Dead" (1965) (video)




This bizarre 1965 horror/sexploitation film was written by Ed Wood.  

Famous faux psychic Criswell stars as the Emperor of the Night.

"Monsters to be pitied! Monsters to be despised!"


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!



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Sunday, October 11, 2026

MURDER PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle


Originally posted on 3/12/10

 

MURDER PARTY (2007) starts with a neat opening titles montage of Halloween images in an urban neighborhood--jack-o-lanterns on doorsteps, costumed kids running up and down the sidewalks, and a nerdy guy named Chris (Chris Sharp) renting some scary movies on his way home from his job as a parking ticket distributor for the NYPD. He notices a strange black envelope on the sidewalk and picks it up--it's an invitation to a Halloween party. Or, more specifically, a "murder party."

When he gets home to his cramped apartment, he pours a bowl of candy corn and pops in one of the cheapo flicks he's rented. But his cat, Sir Lancelot (Puff Snooty), won't get out of his favorite chair. So the painfully non-assertive Chris decides to skip the movie, don his totally crappy homemade cardboard-and-duct-tape medieval knight costume, and give the "murder party" a go. After all, the name has to be a joke, right? Right? WRONG, CHRIS! It's a REAL murder party!

After a scary trudge through the bad part of town, Chris ends up at an isolated warehouse. Inside, he discovers a small group of costumed goofballs hanging around in a dingy storeroom. There's Paul (Paul Goldblatt, who also did the film's special effects) in a bad Lestat-type vampire suit, Lexi (Stacy Rock), who looks like a poor-man's "Pris" from BLADE RUNNER, Macon (Macon Blair), who has on a werewolf mask but mainly looks like he's dressed as Kevin Smith, and Bill (William Lacey), done up like one of the "Baseball Furies" from THE WARRIORS. There's another girl named Sky (co-producer Skei Saulnier), but she doesn't last long because she's allergic to raisins, and Chris brought some pumpkin bread with raisins in it to the party, and when Sky eats some of it she keels over dead.


Just as Chris is beginning to realize he should've stayed home with his cat, they jump him and tie him to a chair. He soon finds out that they're all aspiring avant-garde artists who plan to murder him in an artistic way in order to impress Alexander (Sandy Barnett), a smug, pseudo-sophisticated art enthusiast, and get a grant from him for up to half a million dollars. Alexander arrives with his new best friend, the dangerous-looking Zycho the Psycho (Bill Tangradi), and announces that they will all stab Chris to death at the stroke of the witching hour. Till then, much interpersonal interplay ensues (augmented by a round of truth-serum injections and other narcotics), while the bound Chris looks on in wide-eyed apprehension.

Well, all of this is very nicely filmed for such a low budget--there's even a special credit for the Steadicam operator--and pretty well acted, and some of it is genuinely funny. But MURDER PARTY is often boring and just a tad too tedious. The truth-serum sequence is fairly deadly, with the cast sitting around on the floor woozily mumbling various confessions that sound mostly improvised, and not very well at that. The constant bickering among the characters also gets rather grating after awhile.


At some point deep into the second half, things finally start to happen. There's a shocking discovery about Alexander, somebody tries to light a cigarette while wearing his mask and sets himself on fire, Zycho finally goes psycho, and everybody else goes psycho, too. There's gunfire, axe wielding, chainsaw swingin', and other violent activities that are about as graphic and realistic as that scene that was tacked on at the end of the movie SNUFF--meaning not all that realistic-looking at all, but sorta fun. Some boobage finally makes an appearance at the eleventh hour, albeit covered with body paint, and there's a frenetic chase when Chris finally makes his escape and runs for his life with two of the others in hot pursuit. One of them is wielding the chainsaw, but it's an electric chainsaw, so he has to keep finding places to plug it in whenever he runs out of cord.

Probably the funniest moment in the whole movie is when Chris locks himself in a closet and the others wait outside for him to come out. He frantically scans the surrounding items--a high-tension spring, a plastic jug, an extension cord, a pulley, a fire extinguisher, an exhaust hose--and just as we expect him to have a brilliant McGyver-type inspiration, he suddenly bursts from the closet with all that junk in his arms, throws it at his pursuers, does a lame fake-out move, and runs away.

Surprisingly, the closing credits for MURDER PARTY are five minutes long. For a minor movie like this, there were a heck of a lot of people working on it, and it looks as though most of them did their jobs pretty well. It's just too bad the collective result couldn't have been more worthwhile. MURDER PARTY isn't all that bad, though, and is sporadically entertaining--I give it two-and-a-half jack-o-lanterns for effort.



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