CRISWELL ONSCREEN: All His Ed Wood Movie Intros & Outros (video)

Famed fake psychic Criswell played host for three of Ed Wood's most notorious movies...

...appearing at the beginning and end of each.

(In "Orgy of the Dead" he also played a part within the film itself.)

Criswell wrote his own copy which he read from cue cards...

...delivering it with a blustery aplomb befitting the occasion.


(For an in-depth look at Criswell's role in "Orgy of the Dead", click here)


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

CRISWELL ONSCREEN: All His Ed Wood Movie Intros & Outros (video)

HALLOWEED -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/11/16

 

People thought I was crazy when I gave STAN HELSING a positive review way back in aught nine, but I showed them...I showed them all. (maniacal laughter)

Now, some may consider me equally crazy all over again, but I just watched the new horror comedy HALLOWEED (2016) and, believe it or not, I didn't hate it. Okay, it isn't great, and it's neither genuinely hilarious nor particularly scary.  But the darn thing's just so good-naturedly innocuous that it sorta grows on you.  You know...like fungus.

One good thing about it is a fair number of big-name guest stars, the first being Tom Sizemore.  He's a hoot in his brief role as a serial killer known as "The Bridgeport Butcher" who's strapped into the electric chair screaming curses at his popcorn-munching, party-hat-wearing audience as they cheer his impending flash-fry.

 

Also on hand are his son Joey (Simon Rex, HOTEL CALIFORNIA, PLEDGE THIS!) and stepson Trent (Shannon Brown, FEAST, CRAVE) to whom the condemned killer exhorts "Finish it for me, Trent! Finish my work! Avenge my death!"

Trent, a serious but troubled type not really keen on becoming a serial killer, moves to another town to escape his past and is joined by Joey, the classic movie stoner who's such a total weedhead that he makes Jeff Spicoli look like Whit Bissell.

The boys end up in a town called Mooseheart, which has its own serial killer legend ("The Candy Corn Killer") upon whom the citizens depend for their dwindling tourist trade.  After moving in with an old-hippie pervert named Lloyd (Robert Craighead in a wildly robust performance), Trent gets a job as a suicide counsellor to be near his pretty new co-worker Madison (the winsome Michelle Mueller, "Family Values") while Joey finds gainful employment as a weed dealer for none other than Danny Trejo (BAD ASS) doing a decent comic turn as "Patch."

 

Trent, unfortunately, runs afoul of the crooked mayor's spoiled-rotten son Connor (Jayson Bernard, "Family Values"), Madison's ex-boyfriend, while he and Joey are also comically harrassed by a pair of local cops, one of whom (Deja Dee, "Halt and Catch Fire") is inordinately fond of cavity searches. 

What really sets events into motion, however, is when people start turning up dead again.  Is it the return of "The Candy Corn Killer"?  Or is Trent really carrying on his stepfather's work?

Most of that stuff that I just said--you know, the "plot" and stuff--can be pretty much disregarded since HALLOWEED isn't exactly a serious thriller.  Most of the situations are of a surreal "MAD Magazine" variety similar to all those SCARY MOVIE sequels that Simon Rex has been in, and the overall mood of the film also resembles that of previous horror spoofs such as STUDENT BODIES and SATURDAY THE 14TH.

One plus is the fact that the comedy dialogue is actually pretty snappy throughout, and everything's done with a loosey-goosey style that never once takes itself remotely seriously.  Even the potentially offensive material is pretty inoffensive since it's just so pleasantly goofy.

 

The story takes it's sweet time getting around to anything "Halloween" related, though, and it isn't until around the halfway mark that we see the killer, a tall, giggling psycho in footy pajamas and a baby mask, dispatch his first victim amidst geysers of blood.  The film alternates equally between horror spoof and stoner comedy after that.

Ray Wise (CHILLERAMA, THE AGGRESSION SCALE, "Twin Peaks") does his usual solid job as a mentally unbalanced judge running for mayor, while Jason Mewes (ZOMBIE HAMLET, SILENT BUT DEADLY) is on hand as Joey's even more spaced-out partner in weed.  (Andy Milonakis of MAC & DEVIN GO TO HIGH SCHOOL also shows up as their junior apprentice but I didn't hold that against the movie.)

While the rest of the cast are fine, Simon Rex as Joey is the main attraction for me.  He's an endearingly dense stoner whose childish, impulsive behavior supplies a steady stream of sight gags and throwaway one-liners without the cliched hippy-dippy space-case approach.

He sorta makes me think of what Eb from "Green Acres" might be like if he were perpetually wasted and even more brain-damaged.  I also like the fact that Joey is gay although he insists that he isn't, except he totally is.  All in all, he gives the film much of its watchability.

HALLOWEED is a pleasant enough diversion, hardly essential yet innocuous and amusing.  As I said, I liked it about as much as I liked STAN HELSING.  That should probably tell you all you need to know about it.

Official website

Our original coverage

HALLOWEED -- Movie Review by Porfle

All The Hideous Sun Demon Scenes From "The Hideous Sun Demon" (1958) (video)

Robert Clarke produced and directed 1958's "The Hideous Sun Demon"...

...and played the title role of a man horribly mutated by radiation.

The rays of the sun transform him into a vicious reptilian creature.

The film's crew consisted of University of Southern California film students...
...and was shot over 12 consecutive weekends for approx. $50,000.

Cast and crew were paid $25 per day.
Much of the cast consisted of Clarke's relatives and friends.

Practical locations rather than sets were used throughout the film.

The impressive monster suit was made for a cost of $500. 
It was built over a diver's wet suit.

Although the film's reviews have been consistently negative...

...it has, over the years, become a fondly-remembered cult favorite.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

All The Hideous Sun Demon Scenes From "The Hideous Sun Demon" (1958) (video)

SHADOWS LIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/1/08

The opening titles sequence of the supernatural thriller SHADOWS LIGHT features an exorcism and contains what are probably the most effective images in the entire movie. Father Cuth Abelard (Tom Phillips), who apparently specializes in such work, succeeds in expelling the evil force but is physically and emotonally exhausted. Thus, he's ordered to return to his hometown in Kentucky for a two-week vacation, little suspecting that here he will encounter the most grueling and perilous good vs. evil battle of his lifetime.

Father Cuth meets a pretty blonde waitress named Dana (Tucky Williams), whose sister Evan (Jessica Kline) works as a stripper. When Evan starts running with a fast crowd that revolves around mysterious local tycoon Ashton Lagares (John Schoering) and eventually becomes romantically involved with him, Dana begins to fear for her safety. And for good reason, since Lagares is a pawn of Satan. Father Cuth discovers Lagares' plot to spread his evil influence over the entire community and beyond, and must spring into action with the help of a warrior angel (Marshall Fields) and an immortal creature known as a Djinn (Vince Bingham), who is part angel and part human but lives in the shadows between their worlds.

Director Stephen Zimmer and his cast and crew display plenty of enthusiasm and conviction, but they generally lack the finesse to carry it out. Action scenes aren't that well-staged, with one lightsaber battle (okay, they're flaming swords, but they look like lightsabers) between Lagares and the Warrior Angel looking particularly awkward. Much of the exposition is conveyed by having people talk while taking leisurely strolls, which tends to get a little repetitive.

As for the acting, there are two or three standouts among the cast, including Cynthia L. Allen as Lagares' delightfully wicked accomplice Lily. A malicious MILF who literally sucks the life out of her hapless male and female partners, Lily is the most interesting and exciting character, and you may be surprised when you see the actress who plays her without the wig and makeup--they look almost nothing alike. Vince Bingham is also good as the Djinn, thanks in large part to a pretty cool makeup job, and Tucky Williams is likable as Dana. The rest of the cast tend to come off as either amateurish or overly melodramatic, but at least they give it their all.

Aside from some nice makeup effects on Lily and the Djinn, we also get a cool Grim Reaper-like creature known as the Soul Collector and a not-so-cool monstrosity that Lagares morphs into right before the climactic battle. The Warrior Angel looks pretty stunning the first time we see him--wings outstretched, eyes aglow, he seems to be wearing a reflective outfit that makes him appear to be made of light. Later, though, he just looks like a guy with a white wig, white clothes, a couple of limp wings sticking out of his back, and boots. It's too bad they couldn't have sustained the impressive effect of that first shot. 

 A lot of poor-man's green screen and cartoony CGI are used here as well, and the effect varies widely in quality. Even when these fantastic creations and visuals aren't entirely successful, however, it's still fun to see talented SPFX artists doing what they can with a meager budget.

The DVD is 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with 2.0 sound. There are actually three commentary tracks here--director, cast, and production--along with a photo gallery, a 17-minute featurette of actor interviews, and an almost 40-minute-long conversation between effects artists Dave Workman, Sven Granlund, and Matt Perry.

I can't really urge you to run right out and get SHADOWS LIGHT expecting it to be awesome. As an epic battle between good and evil, its reach exceeds its grasp by a wide margin. But as with all low-budget independent features by filmmakers who actually care about what they're doing, it's interesting to see how Zimmer and company try to overcome their limited resources to create the best and most impressive movie they possibly can.

SHADOWS LIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

VERY Visible Stagehand in "HORROR ISLAND" (Universal, 1941) (video)

This long take is really quite nice...

...even when one of the lighting guys appears in the shot.

It's so obvious, he's practically a part of the cast!

Originally posted on 1/28/18
Suggested by Friend of Daniel of the CHFB.  I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

VERY Visible Stagehand in "HORROR ISLAND" (Universal, 1941) (video)