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Sunday, July 12, 2026

END GAME -- Movie Review by Porfle




(NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2006.)

1993's IN THE LINE OF FIRE gave us Clint Eastwood as a Secret Service agent on the trail of a wacko assassin whose goal was to kill the President. END GAME (2006) opens with the assassination of the President and then shows us how Secret Service agent Alex Thomas (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) discovers a dark conspiracy behind the "lone assassin" and puts his life on the line to find out who's behind it.

Both Eastwood's Frank Horrigan and Gooding's Thomas suffer from guilt related to a President's death; Horrigan, because he wasn't quick enough to take the bullet meant for JFK, and Thomas, because the assassin's bullet struck the President only because it changed direction after passing through his outstretched hand.

As Thomas takes some time off from the job to languish in his lakeside home and see how fast he can drain several bottles of hooch, investigative reporter Kate Crawford (Angie Harmon, GLASS HOUSE: THE GOOD MOTHER) starts digging into the killer's past.



She uncovers a link between him and a secretive government agency that may have been involved in the assassination, and is alarmed to find that everyone she is receiving information from is being systematically murdered by some bad guys in a black van.

When she goes to Agent Thomas' house for further help, the black van shows up there as well, and things get rather explosive. Thomas begins to buy Kate's conspiracy theories after he himself becomes a target, and together they work their way toward the truth as things get darker and more dangerous at every turn.

END GAME isn't quite a top-of-the-line Hollywood blockbuster but it's definitely worth watching. The production values are very good and the story kept me interested from start to finish.


There are plenty of great action scenes, too, especially when Thomas and a ten-man strike force invade a factory where the black-van guys are holed up and get into a furious shoot-out with them, which leads to a cool car chase in which the main bad guy (Peter Greene, who played "Zed" in PULP FICTION) attempts to discourage Thomas from pursuing him by machine-gunning oncoming vehicles off the road. At first Thomas is too determined to let even this slow him down, but the next vehicle headed toward them is a loaded school bus...

Everyone behind the camera does fine work here, and the cast is highly capable. Cuba Gooding has a talent for creating sympathetic characters without overplaying, which he demonstrates here with his deft performance. Former "Baywatch Nights" regular Angie Harmon is particularly good as well -- her intrepid reporter is likably tenacious and funny, and she and Gooding make a great team.

Old fave James Woods is excellent, as usual, but doesn't get nearly as much screen time as I hoped after seeing him on the DVD cover, though he makes the time he does have count. Familiar television veteran Jack Scalia gives us a likable President (for a little while, anyway), and his First Lady is well played by Anne Archer, who was the wife of Harrison Ford in two of the "Jack Ryan" movies.


The homeless man who first supplies Kate Crawford with information before being bumped off will be recognized by "Dark Shadows" fans -- he's David Selby, who played the werewolf Quentin Collins on that classic series. And the vicious killer who tries to terminate Agent Thomas's investigation, as I mentioned before, is played by none other than "Zed" from PULP FICTION, Peter Greene. ("Zed's dead, baby...Zed's dead.")

Not coming off quite as well, however, is Burt Reynolds as a retired Army general who still likes to keep his irons in the political fire. Burt's heart doesn't really seem to be in his performance here, and his alarmingly advanced state of cosmetic surgery (looking at his tightly-stretched face may give you a tension headache after awhile) distracts from what ultimately ends up being a pretty irrelevant character anyway.

After suffering through [a particularly bad movie] last night, I needed to watch a real movie to help me drag myself out of the depths of cinematic despair, and END GAME was just the ticket. It's not in the same league as IN THE LINE OF FIRE or one of the Jack Ryan movies, but I was certainly very well entertained for an hour and a half, and that's good enough for me.



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Saturday, July 11, 2026

BONANZA: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON, VOL. 1 & 2 -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/3/09

 

One of my top five favorite TV westerns of all time, "Bonanza" certainly needs no introduction even for those who have never watched a single episode. If you fall into that category, then the release of BONANZA: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON, VOLUMES 1 & 2 is the perfect introduction to the wild and wooly world of The Cartwrights--Ben, Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe--as they lord it over the rest of the world from the lofty majesty of their massive forest-bedecked Nevada ranch, the Ponderosa. And if you're already a fan, then you'll want to slap your brand on these little dogies before sundown.

Ben Cartwright, played by silver-haired, dulcet-voiced Canadian actor Lorne Greene, is one of those TV characters to whom marriage is the kiss of death for his hapless brides. As we join the Cartwright clan, Ben's already gone through three wives and sired a son by each. Soulful, taciturn Adam (Pernell Roberts), whose mother was a member of New England aristocracy, is the "cool" one who lets his gun do the talking while casting dark, sultry glances at any beauteous ladies within glancing distance.

Hoss (Dan Blocker), the gentle giant who's slow to anger but quick to finish off an entire hog before anyone else has even made it to the table, comes from sturdy Swedish stock. The youngest Cartwright is impetuous, girl-crazy action boy Little Joe (Michael Landon), a New Orleans-born hellion who's always leaping into trouble. Even their Chinese cook Hop Sing (Victor Sen Yung) is pee-oh'd.

These guys live in the coolest ranchhouse ever (which Adam designed and built) on the biggest spread in the northern hemisphere, and in these early episodes they're bitterly at odds with the devious Virginia City silver tycoons who covet their vast tracts of forest land with which to shore up their mine tunnels. In later seasons, Ben and his brood chill out considerably and become friendly, socializing members of the community who prefer reasoned diplomacy to gunplay. But when we first see them, they're coarse, boisterous wild men bristling with guns and running roughshod over the countryside. Just try cutting across the Ponderosa to get to where you're going a little faster--before you know it, you'll be staring down the barrels of four guns while the Cartwrights terrorize you like Hell's Angels on horseback.

In the VOLUME 1 pilot episode, "A Rose for Lotta" (9/12/1959), this very thing happens to none other than guest star Yvonne DeCarlo (Lily from "The Munsters"), a leggy actress who's been hired by those silver tycoons (including George MacCready and Willis Bouchey) to lure one of the Cartwrights into town so that he can be held hostage. The very sight of her speeding carriage throwing up Ponderosa dust in the distance sets our heroes' blood boiling and their bloodlust blazing, and they give chase with guns waving.

After roughing up her mousey driver (Ned Glass), tying him up, and tossing him in the back of Hop Sing's buckboard, Ben graciously instructs a willing Little Joe to escort the lady into town. The young Cartwright is set upon by ruffians but escapes, gleefully managing to create fiery havoc in the Chinese part of town. Meanwhile, Ben, Adam, and Hoss confront their wealthy foes in a local saloon, where Adam has a cool, melodramatic shootout with black-garbed gun-for-hire Langford Pool (a creepy Christopher Dark) complete with closeups of their twitchy eyes and sweating foreheads.

Even at home, these guys are off the hook. The episode begins with Adam and Little Joe talking trash about each other's moms, with Adam referring to Little Joe's dueling epee as "that New Orleans monkey pick you got handed down to you by your French Quarter mother", to which Joe responds with murder in his eyes, "I've never been able to see myself being kin to anything whelped out of a thin-nosed, blueblooded Boston yankee!"

A bareknuckled debate on the subject ensues right there in the livingroom (with Landon and Roberts doing most of their own stunts) before Hoss breaks it up by beating them both senseless with a few swipes of his ham fists. When Ben arrives on the scene with a blustery "Fire and brimstone!" we find that Lorne Greene's early interpretation of his character is decidedly larger-than-life. Roaring and bellowing with manic laughter at his sons' antics as though he's playing to the back row, Greene really pours it on here and sells this pilot with all he's got. To those used to the more sedate later episodes of the show, it's a pretty amazing sequence.

Before long, though, the Cartwrights begin to settle down and interact with their environment on a less hostile basis. (After all, it's hard to come up with interesting stories if you throw all of the guest stars off your land at gunpoint.) As Ben tells Adam: "Son, we can't ignore the rest of the world. We're the only stabilizing influence in the country." So he and the boys start using their influence to develop the town, help the poor, settle mining disputes, and try to keep the Indians and the settlers from killing each other.

The latter is forcefully depicted in "The Paiute War", in which a peaceful tribe is wrongfully blamed for some killings and the army is called in, resulting in a needless slaughter which horrifies the cavalry officer in charge. Definitely not your usual Cowboys vs. Indians stuff. Inadequate safety measures in a silver mine are a concern in "The Philip Diedesheimer Story", which sees Adam trapped in a cave-in while the mine's heartless owner (R.G. Armstrong) is more concerned with the bottom line than the lives of his workers.

The Cartwright curse rears its head again (and not for the last time) in "The Newcomers" when Hoss falls in love with a beautiful woman (Inger Stevens) who turns out to be dying of an incurable disease. In "Enter Mark Twain" the Cartwrights meet the soon-to-be-famous writer (Howard Duff), whose inflammatory political articles in the local newspaper spark a blazing gun battle in the streets of Virginia City. The scene in which the Cartwrights disarm a gunman and deliver him to the office of the crooked politician who hired him is cool as hell--they file imperiously out of the room like they own the place as Hoss empties the man's gun and flings it onto a desk without even looking.

Aside from the occasional comedy episode, these stories are thoughtful morality plays that mix hardbitten Western action with intense human drama. "The Truckee Strip" (which marks the first appearance of Joseph Messerli's famous end-credits watercolor paintings) is a Romeo-and-Juliet tale in which Little Joe falls in love with the daughter (Adrienne Hayes) of a rancher with whom Ben has had a long, bitter feud over a patch of land. Little Joe's growing disgust with the endless fighting and collateral damage leads him to pull a gun on his father at one point, which in turn prompts Ben to question his own unwavering convictions. Here, as well as in many subsequent episodes, it's interesting to see these characters grow and develop beyond their original one-dimensional qualities.

The show is consistently well-written and directed, with some early scripts by future "Star Trek" story editor Gene L. Coon and Christian Nyby (THE THING) directing several of them. The first television Western filmed in color, it's visually sumptuous and makes good use of sweeping outdoor locations. The sets and costumes have an authentic feel even though there's a storybook quality to them as well. Each episode is enhanced by a robust score by the prolific David Rose.



The first episode of VOLUME 2, "The Outcast", guest-starring a young Jack Lord and Susan Oliver, begins the tradition of announcing each episode's title with a musical fanfare. This set also continues the show's attention to racial issues with "The Fear Merchants", expanding Hop Sing's character beyond the usual stereotype as he and his people are menaced by violent bigotry in Virginia City. When a man (Frank Ferguson) accidentally shoots his daughter during an argument, a Chinese boy is accused of the deed and the Cartwrights are deputized to protect him from a lynch mob stirred up by a hatemongering mayoral candidate (Gene Evans).

This bunch contains some of my favorite episodes from the public domain DVDs I've bought over the years, only now in near-pristine condition. "Blood on the Land" features Everett Sloan as a ruthless old sheep farmer who stakes a claim on Ponderosa land and is willing to go to war with the Cartwrights to keep it. One of my favorites,"Desert Justice", boasts a great performance by Claude Akins as a hardcore U.S. Marshall bent on bringing one of the Cartwrights' ranch hands in for murder, even if it means killing anyone who gets in his way.

"The Stranger" marks the Cartwrights' growing acceptance by the citizens of Virginia City, as Ben is proposed as the new governor of the state of Nevada until a lawman from New Orleans (Lloyd Nolan) shows up with a warrant for his arrest on a murder charge. An especially exciting episode, "San Francisco Holiday", finds the Cartwrights and Hop Sing in the titular city where some of their ranch hands are shanghaied. Ed Wood regular Tor Johnson guest stars.

One of the series' best comedy episodes is "The Gunmen", in which Hoss and Little Joe (who are so much fun together that they'll be teamed many times) are mistaken for lookalike outlaws, the notorious Slade brothers, and must convince the terrified denizens of a small Texas town that they've got the wrong guys. The opening scene in which Landon and Blocker, as the Slades, gun down an entire saloon full of men in cold blood, is pretty startling.

The impressive roster of guest stars in volume one includes Ida Lupino, James Coburn, Ruth Roman, Barry Sullivan, R.G. Armstrong, Harry Carey Jr., John Beal, Mala Powers, Buddy Ebsen, Fay Spain, Alan Hale Jr., Anthony Caruso, Michael Forest, Jack Warden, Jane Greer, Alexander Scourby, Don Megowan, Hal Smith, Whitney Blake, Arthur Hunnicutt, Bill Quinn, Mort Mills, Barbara Luna, Raymond Bailey, Jose Gonzales-Gonzales, and Ralph Moody. Peter Coe of HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN and THE MUMMY'S CURSE makes a surprising appearance as an Indian.

Volume two's more familiar faces include Vic Morrow, Gene Evans, Christopher Dark (as yet another sleazy hired gun), Patricia Medina, Joan Staley, Sebastian Cabot, Hazel Court, Bert Freed, Ellen Corby, John Anderson, Philip Ahn, Frank Ferguson, Helen Westcott, Cameron Mitchell, Henry Hull, Paul Picerni, Stafford Repp, Gloria Talbott, Grant Williams, Richard Devon, Nestor Paiva, Kathleen Crowley, James Hong, Richard Deacon, Merry Anders, Don Dubbins, Rhys Williams, Gregory Walcott, and Morgan Woodward.

Both volumes are in original 4.3 full-screen with English mono sound. Each set contains four discs with four episodes per disc. Volume one bonus features include extensive photo galleries for most episodes, some episodic promos, original NBC logo, bumpers, and RCA spots for the pilot, Joe Messerli's original sketches for the closing credits paintings, and creator-producer David Dortort's 2002 personal recollections of Michael Landon, Dan Blocker, and the creation of that iconic flaming Ponderosa map through which the stars ride in the opening titles. There's also a wonderfully cornball half-hour 1953 "Fireside Theater" segment with Bruce Bennett called "Man of the Comstock", written by Dortort, which was sort of a forerunner to "Bonanza." Lastly, we get to see a bizarre alternate ending to the pilot in which the Cartwrights ride off singing the "Bonanza" theme song! (And not too well, either.)

Volume two contains more photo galleries and episodic promos, original NBC logo, bumpers, and RCA spots for "The Avenger", and David Dortort's reminiscences about Lorne Greene, Pernell Roberts, Victor Sen Yung, and how the Ponderosa got its name.

BONANZA: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON, VOLUMES 1 & 2 are available seperately or together. For fans of the classic television Western, this rock-solid, robust series is great entertainment and is rightfully remembered as one of the finest shows of all time.



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Friday, July 10, 2026

SNUFF BOX: THE COMPLETE SERIES -- DVD Review by Porfle


Originally posted on 10/5/11

 

Here's the bottom line--if you have the same sense of humor that I do, you'll love SNUFF BOX: THE COMPLETE SERIES, the six-episode sketch comedy series starring British comedian Matt Berry and American comedian Rich Fulcher.  However, if you don't have the same sense of humor that I do, then this review is probably the closest you'll ever want to ever get to it, ever ever ever.

Another condition--it will help if you're a fan of things like "Monty Python's Flying Circus", "Mr. Show", "Kids in the Hall", and various other showcases for surrealistic silliness and illogical irreverence.  But since this show isn't taped in front of a live audience and uses cinema-style photography and editing, Berry and Fulcher are able to let their imaginations drift through the same kind of demented mental landscape from which things like "Alice in Wonderland" emerge.

As a framing device, the boys live in a posh gentlemen's club started by Matt's great-uncle Sir Charles Berry and carry on his family business of hanging people at the local prison.  Most episodes, in fact, begin with a humorous hanging (Condition #3: must enjoy humorous hangings, Russian roulette, and other lighthearted but graphic violence) after which we join Matt and Rich in the club's lounge, establishing the storyline from which the various comedy sketches are, if you'll pardon the expression, hung.


Matt's character is a pompous, conceited womanizer who always steals Rich's girlfriends away from him and cheats him out of his royalty checks from the estate of his late mother, Mama Cass Elliott.  Rich is a naive, Stimpy-like fall guy for the most part, although he can revert into a sadistic tormenter who shares Matt's personal diary confessions with the world and ruins all of his attempts at public speaking by blurting out all his punchlines.  Because of this, Matt often vows to kill Rich, even purchasing several books on the subject such as "How to Kill Rich Fulcher With Poison Darts." 

In the tradition of such shows, the two stars play most of the other characters themselves thanks to clever use of editing and green-screen.  These include a nerd (Fulcher) with an intense sexual fixation toward various objects such as lollipops, teddy bears, and his own arm, and Sir Charles (Berry), whom Rich visits in 1888 via a magic doorway next to the club's restroom.  One of the best episodes features a visit from Matt and Rich's brothers--naturally, Rich's obnoxious redneck brother wants to kill him, while Rich's "specially challenged" brother James makes a screamingly funny appearance on a British pop music show.

Other noteworthy stand-alone bits: Rich takes center stage in the delightful "Rapper With a Baby" music video; Matt is a video guitar teacher with a grotesquely long ring finger; Rich plays a stern art museum guide in "Full Metal Jacket" drill-sergeant mode; and Matt's solemn musical tribute to a deceased brother suddenly turns into a cheesy Edgar Winter spoof complete with strap-on keyboard.

My favorite running gags, however, are those which involve Matt and Rich as themselves and are part of the overall storyline that (sort of) links the six episodes together.  Matt's attempts to purchase a pair of silver cowboy boots from a chic store results in him being savagely beaten by a succession of surprisingly violent salespersons.  He also displays dashingly chivalrous behavior towards a number of attractive women until their mention of the word "boyfriend" brings out his violent streak.  Rich's problems getting girls to like him also result in several funny bits, culminating in his engagement to an ape woman with whom Rich is caught having public intercourse during the wedding reception.


While watching the show I kept detecting a nagging similarity to something else besides other sketch comedy shows I'd seen before.  When Rich steps through a doorway and plummets into a swimming pool, it finally hit me--in addition to being like "Monty Python", "Mr. Show", et al, SNUFF BOX's surrealistic style is strongly akin to the mindblowing 1968 Monkees' film, HEAD.  Adding to this is Matt Berry's cool score, which revolves around a single reoccuring song and ties the series together musically while frequently erupting into full-blown production numbers.  This surprisingly lush score, along with the show's mid-budget feature film look, gives it the feel of an extended movie that should be watched in one sitting to be fully appreciated. 

The DVD from Severin Films is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound.  No subtitles.  Extras include featurettes "Taking Control of Your Body" with testimonials from the likes of Simon Pegg and "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Locations Walking Tour", "The Score", "Inside the Snuff Box", more testimonials, outtakes, and commentaries by Matt and Rich for episodes 1, 2, and 6.  Best of all is a bonus CD containing 36 minutes of music and songs from the soundtrack.

With its weird blend of sex, violence, profanity, and just plain strangeness, SNUFF BOX: THE COMPLETE SERIES is the kind of entertainment that will appeal to a small but devoted audience, as evidenced by its initial failure on BBC 3 (it was only shown once in 2006) and subsequent cult popularity.  If this sounds good to you, then you owe it to yourself to have a go at this obscure comedy gem.




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Thursday, July 9, 2026

THE PEANUT BUTTER SOLUTION -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle




Originally posted on 12/17/19

 

Imagine one of those ABC After School Specials in which the scripter slowly went insane during the process of writing it. If you can picture that, you'll have a pretty good idea of what it's like to watch the 1985 Canadian children's film THE PEANUT BUTTER SOLUTION (Severin Kids).

Michael (Mathew Mackay, LITTLE MEN, THE BOOK OF EVE) is a normal kid who likes to play soccer, and his sister Suzie (Alison Podbrey, THE SUM OF ALL FEARS) is struggling to take over the "Mom" role in the family while their real mom is away. Meanwhile, their eccentric dad Billy (Michael Hogan) is a successful painter working in the attic studio of their home.

When a nearly abandoned house burns, killing some homeless people trapped inside, Michael and his friend Conrad "Connie" Wong (Siluk Saysanasy of "Degrassi High" in a wonderfully likable performance) decide to explore it.


But when Michael goes inside, he sees something so frightening that, after a close-up in which he resembles a pint-sized Yahoo Serious, he goes into shock and then loses all of his hair, turning completely bald. 

So far, this is just like any other kids' show you might've tuned in to watch after school back in the 80s, and it might've even had Scott Baio in it. But when the ghosts of two dead "winos" appear to Michael in the dead of night and share with him a secret formula for restoring his hair (one involving, as you might guess, peanut butter), then that's when we fear the writer has started going progressively coo-coo.

Actually, a group of writers worked on the script, which takes us through Michael's painful first day back at school as a "baldy", effectively portraying a kind of emotional turmoil that most kids can identify with. His family and faithful friend Connie are shown trying to comfort the stricken lad, each in his or her quirky way, but to no avail.


Then Michael becomes even more of a freakish outsider when, after using too much peanut butter in the solution, his hair begins to grow at an alarming rate--several feet per hour, in fact--which is depicted in such bizarre terms that the film begins to take on much the same feel as iconic surrealist Fernando Arrabal's only children's film, THE EMPEROR OF PERU.

(I'm not even going to mention that part where Connie tries out the hair-growing solution on his...err, never mind. Suffice it to say, it's something you don't expect in your standard kids' film.)

With six feet or so of hair trailing behind him, Michael can't even walk to school without the wind twisting his flowing mane around a nearby hedge. It's here that he is kidnapped by the villain of the story, taken to a hidden location where there are several other recently abducted children, and made part of an insidious plot that's like something out of Ian Fleming during a flush of fevered imagination.


The story by this time has made a determined foray right into mind-bending fantasy territory to such an extent that it should delight both children and likeminded adults.

This involves magical paintings that one can enter, rendered with magical paintbrushes made from human hair (guess whose), and is all presided over by Michel Maillot as the delightfully sinister Signor Sergio, a frustrated artist recently fired from his teaching position at Michael's school for being, well, too damn weird.

Mathew Mackay and Alison Podbrey do a fine job as a relatably normal brother and sister, while Siluk Saysanasy often steals the show as Connie. Connie's own little sister Mai Ling (cute-as-a-button Nadka Takahataki) shows up as one of the kidnapped children.  The adult members of the cast are equally good, with special honors going to Maillot as The Signor.


Severin Films' new kids label, Severin Kids, is well-served by this good-looking entry which is both subtitled and closed-captioned with mono English sound.  Severin's usual well-stocked bonus menu includes an extended U.S. theatrical release version with extra footage, an easygoing commentary with producer Rock Demers and actor Mathew Mackay, a seperate interview with Demers, an interview with Siluck Saysanasy, a look at Canadian kids' films, and both Canadian and U.S. trailers. The Blu-ray's cover art is reversible.

THE PEANUT BUTTER SOLUTION is just the sort of kids' entertainment that places young viewers into a recognizable environment before taking a wondrously entrancing detour into the surreal.  I wish I'd been able to see it as a child, although my current inner child had a fantastic time.




Special Features:

    Extended U.S. Theatrical Release Version
    New Commentary with Producer Rock Demers and Actor Matthew MacKay, Moderated by Filmmaker Ara Ball
    Human Beings Are The Same All Over: An Interview with Producer Rock Demers
    Conrad’s Peanut Butter Solution: An Interview with Siluck Saysanasy
    Tales for All: Paul Corupe on Rock Demers and the Canadian Kids Film
    Canadian Trailer
    Original U.S. Trailer
    Reversible cover


Alternate cover art:





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Wednesday, July 8, 2026

Heartwarming End Scene To "Isn't It Shocking?" (Made-for-TV, 1973) (video)





R.I.P. Louise Lasser 💗💗


With the murder case solved, Alan Alda's small town sheriff must decide whether to stay...

...or take a job in a bigger town far away, which his secretary Blanche (Louise Lasser) dreads because she secretly loves him. 

Listen how beautifully David Shire's music enters the scene at just the right moment and then leads into the end titles.

One of our favorite scenes in any 70s made-for-tv film.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!



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