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Sunday, November 25, 2018

UGLY SWEATER PARTY -- Movie Review by Porfle

I don't usually do this, but I'm going to leave it up to IMDb to describe UGLY SWEATER PARTY (2018) to you.

"An ugly sweater party turns into a bloodbath when an evil Christmas sweater possesses one of the partygoers." There, that's it!  I'm outta here!

Okay, not really, but that's a pretty concise summary of this movie for starters.  After that, writer-director Aaron Mento simply piles on as much graphic gore, extreme gross-out humor, and unbridled sacriledge as can be heaped like a ton of bird droppings onto a low-budget 81-minute horror comedy.

Going into more detail: horny but shy Cliff (Charles Chudabala) and his comically (?) crude friend Jody (Hunter Johnson) drive deep into the woods after receiving an email invitation to an "ugly sweater party" from two sisters, Samantha and Susan, whom they previously sorta had sex with at another party. (The first time we see Jody, he's in the john shaving his nads, and that's one of the more tasteful scenes.)

When they get there, however, they discover that they're in a backwoods Bible camp and that the girls, since born again, just got baptized that day. Their parents are total weirdos, especially their horny mom, Mrs. Mandix (Felissa Rose, SLEEPAWAY CAMP, DARK CHAMBER, CAESAR & OTTO'S SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE), and the girls are still pretty flaky, so the guys hang around in hopes of still getting laid.

What they don't know is that the ugly sweater that Cliff stole from a roadside drifter is haunted by the evil spirit of dead serial killer Declan Rains (Sean Whalen, LAID TO REST, ALL SUPERHEROES MUST DIE, THE FP), and before long the possessed Cliff will be trying to stab, strangle, and chainsaw everyone in sight, including a passel of secondary characters who are so obnoxious that we can't wait for it to happen.

Overall, the film is like a Robin Williams stand-up routine in that it keeps launching oozing gobs of hit-and-miss humor at your face until, if you're like me, you just want to start batting it away with a cricket bat.

Add to that enough splattery mayhem to keep gorehounds in seizures of bliss and the less discerning viewer will stay well occupied until fadeout.

Finally, the sacriledge quotient of this film is off the charts, so if that bugs you (as it does me), you're going to find UGLY SWEATER PARTY about as much fun as dental work without novacaine.  And if  in addition to that, you also despise death metal (really, this flick seems to have it out for me),  then you're going to hate the fact that this movie has a death metal band and it plays a whole lot of, yes, death metal.

But if you and those no-good friends of yours get off on all that vile, repellant stuff, then this is the movie to watch during your next keg party or mutual toenail clipping circle or whatever.

In fact, I can imagine certain people jumping up and down with joy and leaping out of windows due to their extremely positive reaction to the utter, unrestrained crudeness (which, surprisingly, is very nicely shot with several sweeping aerial views and other drone-camera effects) and gleeful offensiveness generated by this cinematic affront.

There's also some nudity (mostly hairy guys), some death-ray carnage from an ousted groundskeeper out for revenge against Mr. and Mrs. Mandix, and some other assorted amusements.

So if you're like me, you're going to enthusiastically refrain from wholeheartedly endorsing UGLY SWEATER PARTY, but if you're not like me, you're just as likely to think it's the most delightful film you've seen all afternoon.  Choose wisely!

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