DEAD OF WINTER -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

(This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2007.)

After having LSD secretly slipped into their drinks at a New Year's Eve party, Kevin (Al Santos, JEEPERS CREEPERS II) and his girlfriend Tiffany (Sandra McCoy, CRY WOLF) spend a terrifying night lost in the icy-cold woods, fleeing from a killer who may or may not be a figment of their drug-addled imaginations in 2007's DEAD OF WINTER (aka LOST SIGNAL). 

Prolific television actor Brian McNamara makes his directing debut while also playing the small-town police chief trying to locate the missing pair.  He does a pretty good job in both capacities, managing to squeeze a fair amount of suspense out of a script that consists mainly of Kevin and Tiffany running through the woods screaming and hallucinating a lot.  He also handles some of the character scenes nicely, especially the comeraderie between the easygoing chief (McNamara) and his staff, sassy 911 operator Nancy (Ella Joyce, BUBBA HO-TEP) and cute deputy Dani (Lindsay Thompson), with whom he's sweetly smitten.

The question of whether or not there's really someone after Kevin and Tiffany remains intriguing throughout most of the story, with the main characters' severely altered mental states causing them to experience some pretty weird things.  When they happen upon a group of workmen standing in the middle of a dark field and are unable to communicate with the silent, unmoving figures, it's "Twilight Zone" territory.  

When a snowcat suddenly comes to life and tries to mow them down, we get a vibe similar to DUEL or KILLDOZER.  And when Kevin finally goes off the deep end and suspects Tiffany of being the one trying to kill him, there's a reprise of the final sequence from THE SHINING in which Kevin even quotes Nicholson's Jack Torrence:  "I'm not gonna hurt ya, Tiffany...I'm just gonna bash your f**kin' brains in!" 

The icy, moonlit forest scenes have an eerie look to them and the production values are generally good.  I found myself wishing Ryan Demaree's musical score had eased off the "eleven" button a bit more often, though.  The cast, especially McNamara, Joyce, and Thompson, do the best they can with their roles, and while the two leads aren't all that impressive, they manage to convey prolonged terror and disorientation pretty well. 

Ultimately, DEAD OF WINTER is nothing special, but it's just well-done enough to make it fairly entertaining.  The closing scenes have a surprising emotional depth, and there's a final revelation before the credits which, while hardly mind-boggling, still wraps things up with a mildly satisfying twist.  I didn't regret sitting through it, but it's strictly a take-it-or-leave-it sort of flick. 

DEAD OF WINTER -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/27/18

 

Comedy westerns are tricky to pull off, especially if you're trying to please both western fans and comedy fans.  BLAZING SADDLES did it by being a merciless no-holds-barred burlesque of sagebrush sagas that skewered all the familiar tropes in hilariously irreverent and farcical fashion.  BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID succeeded by being delightfully witty while still delivering a genuinely gritty, slam-bang western that fans of the genre could appreciate.

What director John Sturges and company try to achieve with their sprawling comedy horse opera THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL (Olive Films, 1965) is no less than a spectacular blockbuster of epic proportions (with a running time of 165 minutes, no less) intended to inundate the viewer in an avalanche of eye-filling thrills and gut-busting laughter. 

As a sort of cross-country road picture filled with familiar faces and as much raucous action as he could squeeze out of an army of stunt people, it's as though Sturges were trying to come up with a western equivalent of the 1963 comedy free-for-all IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD.

Unfortunately, the man who was so adept at serious all-star epics such as THE GREAT ESCAPE and THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN comes up short when applying his considerable talents to the field of comedy.  THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL blusters, bellows, wheezes, and beats its chest in a desperate effort to make us laugh with a furious flurry of thundering action and mugging slapstick that barely has a single genuinely funny line of dialogue or bit of business in its entire running time. 

The pseudo-solemn narration by John Dehner sets a mock-serious tone that never really goes anywhere, as he describes the impending disaster faced by an 1800s Denver, Colorado that is about to spend a long, hard winter with no whiskey.  That is, until freight tycoon Brian Keith orders forty wagon loads of the stuff to be delivered from back East across the desert through Indian country. 

Naturally, that much firewater is hard to resist for Chief Five Barrels (Robert Wilke), his comic sidekick Chief Walks-Stooped-Over (Martin Landau), and the rest of his thirsty braves. If you think Wilke and Landau are either convincing or funny as hooch-happy Indians, I have some oceanfront property in Idaho that might interest you.

The whiskey train also attracts the attention of a pretty, charismatic crusader against alcohol, the twice-widowed Mrs. Cora Templeton Massingale (Lee Remick), who vows to lead her fervent female followers to head it off at the pass while Colonel Thaddeus Gearhart (Burt Lancaster) reluctantly leads a regiment of cavalry soldiers to ride guard on the whole thing. 

Lancaster is all bullish bluster as Gearhart, with nary a corpuscle of comic talent in his whole brawny body but with a boxer's determination to pummel laughs out of the mirthless screenplay. Jim Hutton and Pamela Tiffin have the thankless task of playing his callow captain and rebellious daughter, who are in love, while stone-faced character actor John Anderson is a startlingly unlikely choice as his comic foil Sgt. Buell.  

As hymn-humming Cora Templeton Massingale, Remick is utterly eye-pleasing but about as appealing as the whelp she and Gregory Peck churned out in THE OMEN with her sanctimonious teatotalism delivered with a suffragette's zeal (a deadly combination) that had me despising her pushy, self-righteous character from the git-go. 

With striking teamsters on one side and boozehound Indians on the other--not to mention Cora and the ladies' anti-fun brigade--Brian Keith stomps and screams his way through the role of whiskey tycoon Wallingham, abetted by none other than an almost unrecognizable Donald Pleasance as a skinny, bearded frontiersman named "Oracle" who supposedly foretells the future when primed by offerings of free whiskey. 

Other familiar faces include Denverites Dub Taylor and Whit Bissell, Noam Pitlick as an Army translator who only knows English, Hope Summers, Val Avery, and Bing Russell (Kurt's dad). Elmer Bernstein provides the bombastic score.

Once the various groups converge on the trail to Denver, director Sturges stages a succession of overblown action sequences--one of them during a full-scale dust storm in which none of the various combatants can see each other--and packs them with shooting, limb-flailing stunts, racing wagons, thundering hooves, and other doggedly unfunny action as characters commit acts of artless slapstick against each other with a rubber-faced fury. 

All of which adds up to one long, joyless, tediously unentertaining western romp that wants to be funny so bad you can almost see it sweating from the effort.  Even with an overture, intermission, and exit music and a running time of almost three hours, not to mention some prodigious talent on both sides of the camera, THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL fails to muster as many laughs as a humble episode of "F Troop."

Rated: NR (not rated)
Subtitles: English (optional)
Video: 2.35:1 aspect ratio; color
Bonus features: trailer

THE HALLELUJAH TRAIL -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/11/11

 

One of those movies where I see the trailer and think "Whoa, I've gotta see this!", TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL (2010) doesn't fully fulfill the promise of its premise but has a whole lot of fun trying to. 

The whole subgenre of city kids venturing into the woods and being terrorized by evil hillbillies is turned on its ear as a mutual misunderstanding between two well-meaning rednecks in their new vacation cabin and the usual group of rowdy teens on a camping trip becomes a bloody battle to survive.  Most of the humor comes from the way the good guys' actions are totally misconstrued as evil in the eyes of the kids, and vice versa. 

Tucker (Alan Tudyk, A KNIGHT'S TALE, 3:10 TO YUMA) and his chubby sidekick Dale (Tyler Labine, RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES) are doing some night fishing when a skinny-dipping college babe named Allie (Katrina Bowden) slips on a rock and falls into the water.  Already spooked by the "creepy" hillbillies, the other kids are horrified to see them hauling Allie into their boat while yelling "We got your friend!  We got your friend!" 



Allie recuperates in the cabin and begins a tentative romantic relationship with the smitten Dale while her frantic friends plot to rescue her from her crazed abductors.  Their initial attempts lead to the film's funniest scenes, with the hapless kids accidentally impaling themselves or diving headfirst into a woodchipper while Tucker and Dale look on in horror, thinking they're witnessing a mass suicide. 

Another highlight occurs when Tucker disturbs a beehive while sawing logs and becomes, in the eyes of the kids, a chainsaw-wielding maniac on the warpath.  Debut director Eli Craig does a good job of wringing some solid bellylaughs out of these situations with the help of first-rate comedy duo Tudyk and Labine. 

Even though the skewed outlook and occasional hilarity of the film's first half eventually begin to peter out, the fun keeps chugging along as Chad (Jesse Moss, DEAR MR. GACY, WILD CHERRY), the frat-rat ringleader of the college kids, grows increasingly bloodthirsty for revenge against Tyler and Dale and rallies his surviving friends into a last-ditch attack.  The story takes a few twists and turns, with a flashback sequence explaining Chad's unreasoning hatred toward hillbillies, and finally takes on the form of an old-fashioned cliffhanger serial complete with distressed damsel tied to a log and headed for a spinning buzzsaw.  



With such lovable protagonists as the mutually-supportive, fun-loving Tucker and Dale, and shy Dale's sweetly endearing courtship of winsome Allie, TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL is never quite the black comedy one might expect.  This makes the graphic death scenes seem rather jarring at first, although some familiar elements are so over-the-top--as when dumb blonde Chloe (Chelan Simmons) is drenched by one huge glop of blood from the woodchipper, or when Tucker and Dale gingerly drag the bottom half of an unfortunate teen out of said device ("He's heavy for just half a guy," Tucker notes)--that the effect is perversely delightful. 

The DVD from Magnolia is in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound and Spanish subtitles.  Extras include a fun commentary with director Craig and stars Tudyk and Labine, a making-of featurette, an HDNet promo short, outtakes, storyboards, trailers, and--my favorite--"Tucker and Dale ARE Evil: The College Kids' Point of View", which shows only the parts of the film that make our heroes seem like actual homicidal rednecks in the kids' eyes.  Watching this made me wonder if the film would've been more effective if it had started out this way and then flashed back to reveal what Tucker and Dale were really saying and thinking during those scenes.

While Tudyk and Labine's priceless reactions to the whirlwind of horror that has descended upon their peaceful vacation cabin are the best thing about TYLER & DALE VS. EVIL, the entire film has a skewed feelgood quality that's irresistible.  I didn't really feel like I was watching a cult classic in the making, but it's packed with so much goofy fun and lighthearted comedy--along with its grislier moments--that anyone who loves a good "city kids vs. hillbillies" horror flick should have a ball with this affectionate spoof. 

TUCKER & DALE VS. EVIL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Sexy Eddie Pool Scene ("Fast Times At Ridgemont High"/"Christmas Vacation") (video)

 

If you've seen FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)...

 

 ...chances are you remember "that" scene with Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold.

And if you've seen any of the VACATION movies (CHRISTMAS VACATION in particular) you're also probably familiar with Randy Quaid as Clark Griswold's cousin "Eddie."

So, we thought: why not combine the two? 

Well...it seemed like a good idea at the time.

(caution: adult content)

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

 

Sexy Eddie Pool Scene ("Fast Times At Ridgemont High"/"Christmas Vacation") (video)

Something Not Quite Right About "I Believe In Santa" (2022) (video)

 

Here's a heartwarming romantic comedy about the joys of Christmas...

...a celebration of all that's wholesome and nice about the season of Christ's birth.

Things like love, family, song, good cheer, peace on earth...

...and, of course, devil horns.

Wait, what? DEVIL HORNS?

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

Something Not Quite Right About "I Believe In Santa" (2022) (video)