THE CRAZIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/14/10

 

Executive producer George Romero's 2010 remake of his 1973 classic THE CRAZIES is tinged with the usual political undertones that he's known for, but that stuff doesn't really mean all that much to me.  (The government sometimes does secret bad things?  Get outta here.  DAWN OF THE DEAD is a wicked jab at consumerism?  Jeepers.)  What interests me is the fact that, in addition to being an effective horror movie with lots of cool makeup FX and gore, THE CRAZIES redux is also a cracking good action-suspense flick.

In an opening that's almost as picture-perfect as the first minutes of BLUE VELVET, we see the idyllic small town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa on the opening day of the high school baseball season.  As young sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, HITMAN) and his lanky deputy Russell (Joe Anderson) enjoy the game, they notice something amiss--a rumpled, dazed-looking man with a shotgun has just wandered onto the field.  It's an old acquaintance, Rory Hamill, but it seems he isn't himself today.  And when he levels the shotgun at them, David has to put him down like a dog right there on the pitcher's mound. 

Elsewhere in town, in a scene right out of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, David's wife Dr. Judy Dutton (Radha Mitchell, PITCH BLACK, SILENT HILL) is examining a man whose worried wife claims he "isn't himself."  Later that night he'll prove it by burning down their house with her and their son Nicholas in it.  David and Russell investigate the growing epidemic of savage homicides and discover a crashed airplane in a lake that supplies the town's drinking water, surmising that its cargo must've contained some kind of mind-altering chemicals.

Sure enough, their town soon gets locked down by scary military types in hazmat suits and people start getting executed and incinerated.  With dozens of bloodthirsty crazies running around and armed soldiers shooting anything that moves, the unaffected characters decide it's time to get the hell out of Dodge.  But will they make it?

The story does a good job of building tension with the initial incidents of irrational murder, some being committed by characters (the school principal, the medical examiner) we already know to be normal, everyday shlubs.  As the mayhem escalates, so does the fear factor, with some pretty good jump scares here and there and some rather grisly sights such as a man with his mouth and eyelids sewn shut.  The worst of the crazies is a trio of hunters who take advantage of their wonderful new lack of inhibitions to engage in a full-scale people hunt in which they bag more than their limit. 

The film begins to resemble Stephen King's THE STAND when the military moves in and starts rounding up the citizenry, holding them in pens at the high school and restraining those who display any possible signs of infection.  One of the most nerve-wracking scenes occurs when Judy,  her teenage assistant Becca (Danielle Panabaker), and several others are strapped to gurneys when one of their former neighbors wanders in with a pitchfork and starts ventilating them.  David has his own problems when the medical examiner attacks him with an electric bone saw and comes close to giving him a humdinger of a circumcision.

One suspenseful setpiece follows another as David, Judy, Russell, and Becca set off on foot to try and reach the safety of a truck stop where they believe the town's unaffected citizens are being protected.  Procuring an old patrol car at the Dutton home (where they run into the vengeful survivors of the Hamill clan), they flee from a passing helicopter by ducking into a car wash where the service is to die for.  And as if that weren't enough, things get even more complicated when one of their group slowly begins to get a little...crazed.

Impressive direction by Breck Eisner and some beautiful camerawork, which makes the most of some panoramic vistas in Iowa and Georgia, highlight the film's impeccable production values.  The story is simple, straightforward, and fast-paced, slowing down only a bit in the second half before the survivors reach the truck stop where the final desperate battle against the worst of the crazies takes place.  But the film has one last trick up its sleeve after that, with a slam-bang finale boasting some dazzling CGI and edge-of-your-seat excitement. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen and Dolby 5.1 sound, with English and Spanish subtitles.  Extras include a director's commentary, three making-of featurettes, a look at Rob Hall's grisly makeup effects, two chapters of "The Crazies" motion comic, a step-by-step demonstration of how some of the CGI visuals were done, trailers, a photo gallery, and a couple of DVD-rom features.  (There's also a three-part Easter egg, so happy hunting.)

Come for the horror, stay for the action and suspense, and let THE CRAZIES entertain you as much as it did me.  Or not...I'm aware that there are people who don't like this movie.  But who knows?  They may be...crazies!

THE CRAZIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE NEANDERTHAL MAN -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/19/09

 

 

(CAUTION: The part where I sorta give away the ending might be considered a "spoiler.")

My videotapes, mostly recorded on SLP so I could cram more stuff onto them, are a real mixed bag. Recently, I was watching one that features two great classics--THE SAND PEBBLES and SEVEN SAMURAI--followed by THE NEANDERTHAL MAN (1953). Talk about taking a nosedive from the sublime to the ridiculous! And yet, this is one of my favorite schlock films from the 50s.

Robert Shayne, who was Inspector Henderson on TV's "The Adventures of Superman", plays Professor Clifford Groves, a scientist who is obsessed with proving that primitive man was superior to modern man, not only physically but mentally as well. And when I say "obsessed", I mean googly-eyed, profusely-sweaty obsessed. When he addresses a group of fellow scientists early in the film to expound upon his theories to their chuckling derision, he's already in full-on whacko mode. He practically chases his scoffing peers out of the room as he rants, "Tuck your fears between your legs and run from new truths! Small men! Small views! You want proof, do you? Well, I'll give you proof! I'll show you such proof that no men have ever had!"

Meanwhile, in the High Sierra mountains of California, the local folk have been reporting a huge sabertooth tiger roaming the woods. Game warden George Oakes (Robert Long) is skeptical until he's driving down the road one night and it leaps onto his hood. Up to this point we've seen only stock footage of a regular tiger (in one shot, his leash is clearly visible), but here we're given a close-up, and it's a doozy--it looks like a big plush-doll tiger head with long fangs glued on. Really, it's just totally laughable. But it's enough to scare the dickens out of poor old George and send him to Los Angeles to seek help from a zoological expert named Dr. Ross Harkness (Richard Crane, TV's "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger"), who, after some initial skepticism of his own, agrees to come check out the situation. (And with a name like "Dr. Ross Harkness", we can safely guess that this doughy, Vitalis-haired stiff is going to be the film's heroic character.) A couple of convenient story twists later, and he's actually staying in Professor Groves' house during his investigation.

But where did this prehistoric beast come from? In an earlier scene, we saw something escape from the lab of Professor Groves, who lives in the mountains with his daughter Jan (Joyce Terry, who sorta resembles a serious Gracie Allen). He's been developing a reverse-evolution serum that will cause the subject to regress to its primitive state, and we discover that the sabertooth tiger is really a kitty cat that he has injected with the serum. With this in mind, you just know that the good professor is going to use it on himself sooner or later. The only question is, will this make him scarier than he already is?

In one of the least believable aspects of the script, we find that this creep actually has a fiancée named Ruth Marshall (Doris Merrick). She's a fairly decent-looking dame, so God only knows why she's remotely interested in marrying a goofball like Professor Groves. "I want you--the man I once knew! The good companion, the cheerful friend!" she whines, practically grovelling as she begs him to give up his all-consuming research and go back to being Mr. Fun Guy again. "What is this unhappy work that has absorbed you so much, that is undermining your nervous system and making you such an intolerable sorehead?" (You just don't get fascinating dialogue like this in good movies.) At one point she ruffles his hair, and he finishes out the scene with a feather-duster hairstyle which, coupled with his dour, persimmony expression, looks wonderfully comical.

But the old sorehead throws her out of his lab, because it's time at last for him to inject himself with the serum and turn into a monster. This sequence is fascinating because it uses the same technique seen in classics such as DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1932) and WEREWOLF OF LONDON--instead of just lap-dissolving from one stage of makeup to the next, as in the Lon Chaney "Wolf Man" movies, we see makeup that is already applied to Shayne's face become slowly visible as the lighting is gradually altered. This makes for some pretty convincing transforming in a couple of shots.

Unfortunately, the makeups that he is transforming into look so dumb that they cause him to resemble a hairy, bucktoothed Clint Howard. The final stage of his transformation is a stiff, crummy-looking gorilla mask with too much eyeliner. And for some reason, he also sports a head of curly ringlets that would make Shirley Temple jealous.

Well, it's rampage time, and the Neanderthal Man horns in on a romantic photography session deep in the woods, where some guy is snapping pictures of Beverly Garland, who plays Nola Mason, the waitress at Webb's Cafe, in a one-piece bathing suit. I love Beverly Garland--she was a fine actress who brightened many a low-rent monster flick with her lovely and talented presence--but here, she's replaced by a stand-in in the bathing suit shots. We can clearly see that it isn't her posing provocatively for the camera, which is just plain weird. Anyway, the Neanderthal Man shows up, kills the guy with the camera, and carries Beverly off into the woods to have his Neanderthal way with her. Which, you might imagine, does not include dinner and a movie.

The monster returns to the lab and reverts back into Professor Groves. But just like Dr. Jekyll before him, he finds the lure of the beast too strong and begins to transform without the benefit of the serum. After that, he runs around in the woods some more and kills a couple of other guys until finally our hero Dr. Harkness is able to use his incredible intellect to figure out a way to stop him.

One of the most remarkable things about THE NEANDERTHAL MAN is how similar is its idea of genetic memory being retained in the brain of Man to the theories of William Hurt's "Eddie Jessup" in the much later ALTERED STATES. Both characters espouse the same theories and use drugs to revert to their devolved states, transforming themselves into primitive man-beasts that go on a rampage. I don't know if ALTERED STATES' screenwriter Paddy Chayevsky ever saw this movie, but the similarities are pretty strong.

Another noteworthy element of this movie is the pulse-pounding musical score by Albert Glasser (THE CYCLOPS, INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, EARTH VS. THE SPIDER). Glasser was just plain awesome--I don't know how he did it, but he could write music that, in its all-out, almost artless intensity, could simply scare the crap out of me when I was a kid, and still retains its ability to give me the creeps. Glasser wielded the studio orchestra like a blunt instrument, using blaring brass and pounding kettle drums to bludgeon the viewer with a sense of unreasoning fear. He goes full-tilt even in scenes such as Professor Groves simply entering his lab, filling the viewer with an unrelenting sense of unease that is sustained throughout the entire movie.

This almost palpable musical background also underlies another memorable sequence, in which Dr. Harkness discovers that Professor Groves has been experimenting on his deaf-mute housegirl, Celia, when he uncovers a series of photographs detailing her transformation. In yet another seeming inspiration for a later film, the sequence in which Harkness leafs through the photographs serves as a veritable blueprint for the scene in SE7EN in which "Sloth" victim Victor's photographic record of deterioration is discovered by Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman's cop characters.

All of which adds up to a pretty interesting monster flick, though admittedly it's also cheap, tawdry, and often inept. Directed by Ewald André Dupont, whose career began with silent films in 1918 and undoubtedly saw better days, THE NEANDERTHAL MAN is a lot of fun to watch, and, come to think of it, that's all it really needs to be. Whether you watch it on its own terms or simply to make fun of it, it's still an entertaining film. And at the end, Dr. Harkness gets to solemnly recite one of those classic, self-important soliloquies so common to films of this type:

"We mustn't think of him too harshly. The things he did--and they were terrible--all of us are capable of doing when we give free play to the basis which is a part of everyone. He tampered with things beyond his province...beyond what any man should do. And if it was madness...well...those whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad." Oh, yeah! Gotta love it.

Buy it at Amazon.com

THE NEANDERTHAL MAN -- Movie Review by Porfle

NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/4/09

 

 

Less a warm family holiday film and more of a "mi familia loca" soap opera, NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS (2008) takes its time finally gathering up all the strings of its plot and weaving them into a mildly interesting variation of a familiar story, this time involving a Puerto Rican brood in Chicago. 

 

The dysfunctional Rodriguez family contains enough drama for at least a whole season of primetime TV (including a Christmas special). Freddy Rodriguez ("El Wray" of PLANET TERROR) is returning Iraq war vet Jesse, haunted by guilt because he survived an explosion that killed his friend and unwilling to take over the family business as expected. 

 

Another GRINDHOUSE alumnus, Vanessa Ferlito (DEATH PROOF), is his actress sister Roxanna who hides the fact that she isn't the big star everyone thinks she is. With his usual manic energy, John Leguizamo plays Mo, the white-collar businessman brother whose Caucasian wife, Sarah (Debra Messing), also a biz whiz, is happy to let her biological clock tick away as her in-laws pray for grandchildren. 

 

Of course, various romantic dramas are explored--Jesse yearns to get back with his ex-girlfriend Marissa (Melonie Diaz), who's involved with someone else, while Roxanna considers getting serious with family friend Ozzy (Jay Hernandez) but worries about his murderous vendetta against the neighborhood guy (Manny Perez) who killed his brother. 

 

All of this, however, takes a back seat to the bombshell that gets dropped on all of their heads during a big family dinner--namely, the sudden announcement by mother Anna (Elizabeth Peña) that she's divorcing their father Edy (Alfred Molina) after 36 years of marriage because she suspects him of cheating on her. 

 

 

Until that moment, I kept wondering what direction NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS was going to take. It wasn't funny enough to be a comedy, although it does manage to be fairly amusing at times. I like this exchange between father Edy and war veteran son Jesse: 

 

"We know you've been through a lot. Your mother and me, we rented 'Coming Home.'"

"I'm surprised you didn't rent 'Taxi Driver.'"

"Yeah, we rented that, too."

 

Luis Guzmán certainly does his obnoxious best to comedy things up as nephew Johnny, and it's fun seeing Leguizamo play a more conservative and vaguely nerdy character. The various dramatic elements also aren't all that engaging at first, and need time to percolate before yielding much interest. As a warm and fuzzy family Christmas story, it's barely there. 

 

But Mama Rodriguez' divorce decree throws the switch on what makes the rest of it work--now everyone's worried about not only their present concerns, but the fact that this will likely be their last Christmas together as a family. 

 

There's a good running gag about the menfolk trying in vain to cut down a big, gnarly tree in the front yard which refuses to budge, which is probably symbolic of something if you think about it long enough. Rodríguez, Ferlito, and Leguizamo get some nice chemistry going in some of their scenes together. 

 

I could do without the pandering "white people" cracks, and it's troubling to see members of the family openly insult Sarah to her face in Spanish or refer to her as "Barbie Doll", especially when she's making an awkward effort to fit in. Her character, however, gains unexpected depth when she later becomes an ally to Edy after he reveals a crucial secret to her. 

 

 

The film is at its best when Molina and Peña are on the screen. Alfred Molina can convey great warmth, as is evident even in his early scenes in SPIDERMAN 2, and his performance here is the emotional heart of the whole story. Elizabeth Peña, likewise, lends a realism and maturity to her role with seemingly little effort. Among the rest of the cast, the standout for me is Freddy Rodríguez in a sensitive and soulful performance that provides interesting counterpoint to his bombastic hero "El Wray" in PLANET TERROR. 

 

The Anchor Bay DVD is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and Spanish mono. English and Spanish subtitles are available. Extras include a commentary with director Alfredo De Villa, producer Robert Teitel, and Freddy Rodríguez, about fifteen minutes of bloopers, a trailer, and a cast reunion featurette (minus Molina and Leguizamo). 

 

As a comedy-drama about the importance of family, friends, and lovers, and a celebration of Puerto Rican culture, NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS comes together in its second half with a pretty satisfying payoff. Not looking for it to become a Christmas tradition, though.

 

 

NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS -- DVD Review by Porfle

MOVIOLA: THE SCARLETT O'HARA WAR -- Movie Review by Porfle



( "GONE WITH THE WIND 75TH ANNIVERSARY ULTIMATE COLLECTOR'S EDITION" from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment is loaded with extras, one of which is the following film in its entirety.)

Originally posted on 10/3/14

 

Back in the crazy days of my youth when I was known to do such things, I read a book by Garson Kanin called "Moviola." It consisted of three novellas, highly fictionalized accounts of actual events in three different eras of what we know as Hollywood. In 1980, the book was turned into a mini-series which aired on NBC-TV over three nights. These three segments now exist as individual TV-movies, sometimes with the word "Moviola" in the titles, sometimes not.

The first and last segments (chronologically) are known as "Moviola: The Silent Lovers", which tells the story of Greta Garbo and her ill-fated lover John Gilbert, a silent actor with a voice unsuited for "talkies", and "Moviola: This Year's Blonde", a glitzy biography of 50s bombshell Marilyn Monroe. Between these two eras, representing a Hollywood which was in 1939 at its creative and financial peak, is perhaps the most entertaining of the three, MOVIOLA: THE SCARLETT O'HARA WAR.

Modestly mounted, relatively sedate, and much smaller in scale than the real-life events must have been, the film adequately dramatizes the details behind legendary producer David O. Selznick's most gargantuan (I so rarely have an opportunity to use that word in a sentence) undertaking, a daring screen adaptation of Margaret Mitchell's runaway bestselling Civil War novel "Gone With the Wind" which would eventually become the highest-grossing and most popular movie of all time.

Selznick's search for the perfect actress to play sought-after lead role Scarlett O'Hara is thus turned into an amusing and mildly absorbing comedy-drama-soap opera of movie moguls, actresses, and agents (and various other Hollywood types) all trying to outmaneuver each other.

The story is played mostly for grins as both seasoned pros and young, unknown starlets all vie for the plum role of Scarlett O'Hara in Selznick's impending blockbuster. Some try to charm and even sleep their way into the role while others, like Joan Crawford, wield what power and influence they may have.

But it's all for naught when, during filming of the burning of Atlanta (in which a stand-in was used as the hitherto uncast Scarlett), Selznick first lays eyes on British actress Vivien Leigh, a chance discovery made by his agent brother Myron. After that historic moment, all bets are off.

Before this, however, comes the film's centerpiece--an extended party sequence in which Selznick has gathered all the prospective Scarletts together in one place. This scenario is rich in cattiness and can probably be truly appreciated only by those already interested in the story and the people involved.

For anyone who doesn't remember or care about these former superstars of film, or the inner machinations of big-studio Hollywood filmmaking in general, I imagine that the entire sequence will just sit there like an unloved Jello mold while they wonder what the big fuss was all about. Others, however, may find themselves savoring every nuance.

A parade of low-level TV stars do their best to portray these film legends, which somehow manages to assume its own kind of charm. Edward Winter, known mainly as Colonel Flagg on TV's "MASH", tackles the role of dashing alpha male Clark Gable in amusing style, while "Cagney and Lacey" co-star Sharon Gless takes a wild shot at being his beloved and equally famous wife Carole Lombard.

I barely recognize some of the minor players filling in for the likes of Joan Crawford, Katharine Hepburn, Paulette Goddard, Jean Arthur, Miriam Hopkins, Lucille Ball, etc. but they give it the old college try. Some of the casting choices are puzzling--I don't see Charlie Chaplin in actor Clive Revill (GENTLEMEN BRONCOS) at all--while others, including Tony Curtis as an unflappable David O. Selznick and Carrie Nye as Tallulah Bankhead, are right on the mark.

Other familiar faces include Bill Macy ("Maude"), George Furth (BLAZING SADDLES), and Harold Gould as Selznick's father-in-law, MGM chief Louis B. Mayer. A brief appearance by a popular TV actress of the time, Morgan Brittany ("Dallas"), as Vivien Leigh brings the story to a pleasing albeit curiously anti-climactic ending.

Having recently watched a lot of documentary material on the subject, I found MOVIOLA: THE SCARLETT O'HARA WAR to be an unspectacular yet enjoyable "Reader's Digest" version that's easy to take. And for anyone who saw it when first broadcast almost 35 years ago, its modest appeal will be enhanced by a dash of nostalgia.

Read our review of  "Gone With the Wind" HERE.

Full coverage of the "Gone with the Wind 75th Anniversary Ultimate Collector’s Edition" can be found HERE.


Stream rare and hard-to-find movies and TV shows at Warner Archive Instant; purchase discs at Warner Archive Collection. Even more at www.wbshop.com or www.wbultra.com

MOVIOLA: THE SCARLETT O'HARA WAR -- Movie Review by Porfle

THE BELLS OF ST. MARY'S -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/20/19

 

Like its Paramount predecessor, "Going My Way", the RKO sequel THE BELLS OF ST. MARY'S (Olive Signature, 1945) was, to that point, the highest-grossing film for its studio. It's easy to see why it was and continues to be so popular, especially for war-weary audiences looking for something uplifting and inspirational.

Both films starred Bing Crosby as unconventional singing priest Father O'Malley, in this case having just been transferred to St. Mary's, an urban Catholic school presided over by nuns. 

Their leader, Sister Benedict (Ingrid Bergman), will establish a fond though often adversarial relationship with the easygoing but opinionated priest, especially in regard to the teaching of their young students.  In time, both their adverse methods as well as their personalities will begin to compliment each other.



Other subplots involve miserly old millionaire Mr. Bogardus (Henry Travers, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE) erecting a shiny new building next door and hoping to acquire the school itself to tear down for a parking lot.  Sister Benedict, meanwhile, prays constantly for the mean old coot to have a change of heart and donate the building as the new St. Mary's.

Meanwhile, a woman named Mary Gallagher (Martha Sleeper) implores Father O'Malley to take in her daughter Patsy (Joan Carroll) and give her the kind of secure, decent upbringing she alone can't manage.  Fatherless and withdrawn, Patsy's mental and emotional welfare becomes a major concern for the priest and nun, who will differ greatly  on how to deal with the troubled girl.

It's interesting how the Production Code-era writers clue us in on what's what when Patsy's mother hesitantly tells Father O'Malley she has "done everything she can" to support her daughter.

 

Also of note is O'Malley's warm, non-judgmental response, especially considering that Patsy was clearly born out of wedlock although the dialogue doesn't quite spell it out.  This single element alone elevates our opinion of the priest and of the film's benign intent.

While each subplot is vital, they sort of swirl around each other during the film rather than jostle for attention. There's a good deal of gentle humor to lighten things up along the way, beginning with the very first scene of Father O'Malley moving into his new boarding house as the housekeeper, played by the delightful Una O'Connor (BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, THE INVISIBLE MAN) warns him ominously that the school's previous resident priest had to be carried away in a wheelchair in frightful condition.

Another wonderful scene occurs when the smallest children put on a nativity play. Here, director and co-writer Leo McCarey told the boy playing Joseph the general story of the play and then had him improvise the entire thing, telling the other castmembers what to do. McCarey then secretly filmed this and the result is a charming sequence which ends with the children gathered around a toddler playing Baby Jesus and singing "Happy Birthday To You."

At one point O'Malley and Benedict clash yet again over how to deal with a boy being bullied on the playground. O'Malley praises the victor for having what it takes to make it in a "man's world", while the sister takes it upon herself to teach the other boy, Dickie (Eddie Breen), how to defend himself after reading a book on the art of pugilism.

In what I consider to be the film's most amazing sequence, Bergman improvises a lively boxing lesson composed of several long, largely unedited takes. Keeping up a steady stream of banter about defense, footwork, bobbing and weaving, various jabs, and other tips, she conjures a magical moment for her character with a charm and spontaneity that I found utterly disarming.

With her classic beauty downplayed, Bergman has the chance to create this memorable character mainly through dialogue and presence. Der Bingle, of course, is his usual honey-smooth self, getting to croon a song or two along the way.  Though never getting particularly worked up over anything, his Father O'Malley exudes a gentle caring and empathy even when we may not agree completely with his methods.

The entire film has a noticeably reserved, restrained tone--even the humor often seems rather solemn.  We pretty much know right off the bat how each situation is going to work itself out, so we just settle in comfortably and watch it happen.

I found myself settling in quite a lot during the sweetly sedate THE BELLS OF ST. MARY'S. A bit corny and maudlin at times, it's genuinely heartfelt at its core and even evokes a few well-earned tears. McCarey's vision of a spiritually uplifting family entertainment is exquisitely rendered and, in this day and age, warmly nostalgic.



YEAR: 1945
GENRE: DRAMA
LANGUAGE: ENGLISH (with optional English subtitles)
LABEL: OLIVE FILMS
TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 126 min
RATING: N/A
VIDEO: 1.37:1 Aspect Ratio; B&W
AUDIO: MONO

BONUS FEATURES:
    Mastered from new 4K restoration
    Audio commentary by Bing Crosby biographer Gary Giddins
    “Faith and Film” – Sr. Rose Pacatte on The Bells of St. Mary’s
    “Human Nature” – Steve Massa on The Bells of St. Mary’s and Leo McCarey
    “Before Sequel-itis” – Prof. Emily Carman on the film in the context of Hollywood production history
    Screen Guild Theater radio adaptations
    Essay by cultural critic Abbey Bender

THE BELLS OF ST. MARY'S -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/28/13

 

Like so many soldiers throughout the ages, returning World War II veterans were faced with a special dilemma--they were back in the homefront they'd yearned for, yet surrounded by people who had no idea what they'd just been through and what they were going through now. 

The problems these men had fitting back into peacetime society--including becoming members of their own families again--are skillfully and sympathetically explored in director William Wyler's Oscar-winning masterwork THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946), now available on Blu-ray from Warner Home Video.

Three ex-servicemen--Army sergeant Al Stephenson (Frederic March,  DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE), Air Force captain Fred Derry (Dana Andrews, CURSE OF THE DEMON),  and Navy swabbie Homer Parrish (Harold Russell)--hitch a long ride on a military transport to their hometown and become bosom buddies along the way. 

We begin to feel their tension at seeing family and friends again as they liken it to "storming the beaches", with Homer especially dreading the impending reunion due to the loss of his hands during his ship's sinking.  He fears not only how his folks will react but mostly whether or not his prospective bride, girl-next-door Wilma (Cathy O'Donnell, BEN HUR), will now reject him.

Fred has a different problem--his blond bombshell wife, Marie (a drop-dead gorgeous Virginia Mayo), to whom he had been married a mere twenty days before going overseas, is a party animal whose recent job in a nightclub has made her accustomed to a fast lifestyle which her unemployed husband can't provide. 

The young Andrews is ideally cast as a once-proud soldier who now must return to his old job as a drugstore soda jerk, biting his lip as a former underling orders him around while an uncaring boss, as did many at the time, regards him and other returning vets as a nuisance to society.  With Marie constantly berating him for not being successful or ambitious enough, and openly flaunting her intentions to "step out" on him, we can hardly blame Fred when he falls for Marie's exact opposite, the lovely and understanding Peggy (a vibrant Teresa Wright).

Trouble is,  Peggy is Al's daughter, and he's having his own problems without having to worry about her hooking up with a married man.  Unlike his two pals, former banker Al returns to a luxurious apartment but feels just as out-of-place among his wife and two kids.  Their reunion is tense and uncomfortable--empathetic viewers, in fact, may feel this way for much of the film--with Al first glimpsing his wife Milly (Myrna Loy) across the expanse of a long hallway that symbolizes the gulf still lying between them.  (He'll later describe the feeling of crossing that hallway as "like going overseas again.")

In  the film's opening scenes, it's heartrending to see the near-desperation with which the three main characters cling to each other's sympathetic company rather than face the prospect of returning to the families who now seem almost like strangers to them.  Later,  we fear that they'll never reassimilate back into normal life. 

This is especially true when restless Al urges Milly and Peggy to join him for a night out on the town.  March, seemingly slipping  into his celebrated Mr. Hyde persona at times,  portrays Al as a manic, nearly out-of-control drunk on his first night back--it's almost as though he's decompressing, or trying to put on the brakes like a speeding jet landing on a runway.  

It makes us glad that Milly is such a strong, sensible, supportive wife, with a rock-solid Myrna Loy (THE THIN MAN) lending her the stature of a woman any man would fight to come back home to and be glad to have on his side.  With her help, Al will eventually "mature" into a self-assured, no-nonsense personality whose unshakable principles threaten to get him into hot water back at the bank when he starts granting loans to other veterans with little or no collateral.  His drinking is another concern, as is the growing rift between him and Fred over daughter Peggy.

Even though we know Fred's marriage to Marie hasn't much of a future, his impulsiveness worries us when he steals a kiss from Peggy after an innocent lunch date.  Her growing attraction to him draws her into a terrible quandary which puts her at odds with her parents, and the scene of their most emotional confrontation is powerfully done. 

Meanwhile,  Fred's feelings of worthlessness are dramatically illustrated when he visits a "graveyard" for derelict bomber planes that are to be junked.  Sitting in the nose of a rusty, engineless plane and reliving his experiences as a bombadier, he realizes that he, too, is a wartime relic to be either recycled or tossed on the junk heap.  Director Wyler renders the sequence with exquisite skill, while Andrews gives it his all and musical composer Hugo Friedhofer pulls out all the stops--it's a gripping scene. 

Still, this is nothing compared to the emotional rollercoaster in store for the viewer regarding the unfortunate sailor, Homer.  Portrayed by real-life amputee Harold Russell, himself a former serviceman who won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his debut role, Homer endures excruciating emotional torment which we can't help but share as he feels isolated amidst his own family and impotent as a man. 

During a scene in which he silently allows his father to remove his "arms" and dress him in his pajamas--in what was certainly a reflection of his own real-life experiences-- Russell's face and demeanor tell us everything we need to know about the thoughts and emotions roiling inside him.  When he angrily thrusts his hooks through a windowpane in response to the curious looks of his little sister and her friends, it's a shocking and disturbing moment in cinema. 

Russell gives an earnest, painfully uninhibited performance that lends added dimension to what is already a devastatingly effective and multi-faceted story.  Andrews has probably never been better, nor has Teresa Wright, with their final scene together delivering a substantial payoff for the film as a whole.

March and Loy, the two old pros, come through like gangbusters as a couple whose problems only seem to make them stronger as long if they face them together.  And in a role that displayed her dramatic talent at a time when she was known mostly for comedy, Virginia Mayo proves that she's not only a knockout but can deliver a raucous, punchy performance (her "mirror" scene with Wright dazzles, as do her frenetic exchanges with Andrews.)  Also in the cast are stalwarts such as Hoagy Carmichael, Ray Collins, Steve Cochran (as Marie's oily-haired new beau), Don Beddoe, and Gladys George.

The single-disc Blu-ray from Warner Home Video is in 1.77:1 widescreen and English 1.0 sound.  Subtitles are in English, French,  and Spanish.  Bonus features consist of a brief introduction by Virginia Mayo, interview footage with Mayo and Teresa Wright, and the theatrical trailer. 

After THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES has already put us through the wringer with its other stories of desperation and redemption,  it saves its deepest felt and most lasting impact for the final scenes between Harold Russell's "Homer" and girl-next-door Wilma (Cathy O'Donnell is sweetness incarnate in the role) finally resolving the long-running uncertainty that has lingered between them since his return.  It's one of the most heartrendingly emotional sequences I've ever seen, and if you can get through it without blubbering like a baby, then, as Kipling once said, "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!"

THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/25/11

 

With so many zombie movies out there, it's nice to come across one like SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT (2009) that still has that old zing.  This low-budget indy may have been done with limited locations and resources, but it makes up for any such disadvantages by being both an interesting "people" story and a good old-fashioned undead blowout.

The cast are certainly up to the task--the lead performances are intriguing and fun to watch even when they don't display the kind of finesse that wins big, shiny awards.  Likewise for the script, which actually gives them some interesting dramatic scenes and scintillating character interplay along with the carnage.

Your classic love triangle forms the basis of the plot as two buddy cops, Frank Talbot (Jack Forcinito) and Nash Jackson (Andy Hopper), have a falling out over their mutual interest in Frank's lovely wife Sarah (Nadine Stenovitch).  Meanwhile, a zombie apocalypse is brewing right under their noses, which they seem blissfully unaware of until a little undead girl bites Andy in the foot and Frank shoots his toe off while dispatching her.  (Most of the best scenes between these two guys will occur during zombie attacks.)



Back at Andy's apartment, Frank and Sarah nurse him back to health while the zombies mill around outside and try to get in.  We find that Frank can be a huge S.O.B. but a very handy one to have around, with Forcinito playing the role in a casual and lighthearted way that makes the character likable.  Hopper and Stenovitch both play off him very well and have a good chemistry with each other as Andy and Sarah's illicit love inches toward consummation.  With her intense performance, Stenovitch in particular adds weight to the more serious side of the story.

Action-guy Frank can't resist loading up his shotgun and making a nocturnal foray into zombieland, resulting in some cool kills and an amusing passage in which he makes like Babe Ruth on a few skulls to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."  (Elsewhere, Grieg's "In the Hall of the Mountain King" is also well used for comic effect.)  More human-type drama ensues when he runs across Jeffrey (Lew Temple) hiding out in his attic after his family has been killed.

Writer-director Sean Cain solves the eternal "fast zombie-slow zombie" dispute with some blah-blah scientific exposition that allows him to feature a pleasing combination of both.  The faster and smarter zombies are led by a snarling, leisure-suit-wearing used car dealer whose roving pack of voracious marauders supply much of the film's giddy menace.  The other zombies are nicely played with a variety of individual attributes in both appearance and behavior, all boasting some excellent makeups which make good use of prosthetics, airbrush, and contact lenses.



Vernon Wells ("Wez" of ROAD WARRIOR fame) and Felissa Rose (SLEEPAWAY CAMP) ramp things up big-time with their late appearance as part of a heavily-armed rescue group locating stray survivors.  Frank, naturally, manages to piss off even these good Samaritans, and his altercation with Felissa gives her an opportunity to deliver some of the best acting I've seen from her in years.  As for Wells--any time Wez shows up in your movie is a good time.

Sean Cain keeps the dramatic scenes interesting and the action scenes full of splattery fun, his lean directorial style perfectly complimented by the no-frills camerawork and editing.  Aside from some quick cuts of exploding heads, nasty bites, and a dismemberment or two, there really isn't a whole lot of over-the-top gore for its own sake, but the film is so suspenseful and the characters such fun to watch that I barely noticed.  Or maybe I really have become desensitized after all these years.

The DVD from Pacific Entertainment is in 16x9 widescreen with Dolby sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras include a commentary with director, producer, and cinematographer, deleted scenes, bloopers, trailers, and a brief Easter egg featuring Vernon Wells.

Neither exceedingly downbeat nor wisecrackingly frivolous, SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT hits just the right tone from the start and just keeps getting better.  If you can appreciate the ambiance of a good B-movie with its heart in the right place, this lively zombie romp should be on your Christmas list.

SILENT NIGHT, ZOMBIE NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/4/13

 

A mix of the "spooky old house" and "axe murderer on the loose" genres, SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT (1972) is hardly the campy-fun slasher-trash fest I expected.  In fact, there isn't an ounce of humor, intentional or otherwise, in this somber, wintry horror tale.

The gravely-intoned prologue, in which the Mayor's daughter Diane Adams (Mary Woronov, EATING RAOUL, ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL) reflects on  the horrible events surrounding the old Butler mansion at the edge of town, is enough to let us know that we're in for a depressing time,  It all has to do with the house's original owner, Wilfred Butler (Philip Bruns,  "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"), his mysterious death by fire, and the tragic fate of his daughter, Marianne. 

When his grandson Jeffrey (James Patterson, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) disobeys the stipulation in his will that the house remain untouched and unsold, a mysterious killer begins stalking the premises to make sure that whoever goes in doesn't come out.

Cue Jeffrey's lawyer John Carter (a typically urbane, laid-back Patrick O'Neal) and his secretary-slash-mistress Ingrid (the way-cute Astrid Heeren),  who decide to spend a night in the house while finalizing the details of its impending sale.  As if this isn't enough to stir things up, Jeffrey himself returns just in time to endure a night of murder and mayhem that will leave the quiet little town littered with corpses.  His uneasy alliance with Diane will result in them ending up right in the middle of the film's horrific climax. 

The confusing story will eventually yield a nice surprise or two, but it's basically just an excuse for the filmmakers to see how much of a dreary and oppressive gloom 'n' doom atmosphere they can muster with their low budget and limited resources.  Mary Woronov's husband Theodore Gershuny, who directed two other films and several episodes of TV shows such as "Tales From the Darkside" and "The Equalizer", helms Jeffrey Konvitz and Ira Teller's funereal screenplay in a crudely effective fashion.  The film's rough-hewn production elements and choppy editing alternate between being distracting and somehow enhancing its dreary mood.

Once the killer stops creeping around unseen and gets the old axe a-swingin', we get a few mildly gory chop-'em-up scenes with some fake blood splattered about, along with a dismembered hand or two.  These moments of mayhem, however,  come after long, mundane stretches that are interesting only if you enjoy watching a very old John Carradine (and who doesn't?) or a very young and attractive Mary Woronov (ditto).  Distinguished actor James Pattererson, who died at age 40 shortly after this film was made, comes off well despite an understandably uninspired performance. 

Similar in feel to Bob Clark's 1974 BLACK CHRISTMAS, with the dreariest version of "Silent Night" you can imagine and a score that's almost more downbeat than Bernard Herrmann's music for PSYCHO, the best of SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT is saved for its centerpiece flashback sequence.  As Diane reads from Wilfred Butler's tattered journal, we're transported into a grainy, sepia-hued world that's so dark and depressingly surreal as to be almost a cross between David Lynch and H.P. Lovecraft. 

This vignette occurs during the time the Butler house served as an insane asylum, with the inmates being let loose to wreak revenge upon their cruel keepers, and is so fascinatingly, unremittingly nightmarish as to seem like part of a different film altogether.  Afterwards, the story's actual ending comes as something of an anti-climax despite director Gerhuny's efforts to build to a shocking finale that he isn't quite able to pull off. 

The DVD from Film Chest is in widescreen with 2.0 sound.  No subtitles or extras.  Opening titles (featuring the alternate name "Deathhouse") bleed off the sides of the screen a bit.  The film is an HD restoration from 35mm elements but the print used has several rough spots.  Personally, I like it when a film looks like it's been around the block a few times, but those wanting something closer to pristine may cringe a few times. 

Movies like SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT straddled some interesting cinematic territory between old-style Gothic horror and slasher-era gore while inadvertently helping to lay the groundwork for the tired "dead teenager" formulas of the 80s and 90s.  While unpolished and at times technically crude, it still manages to create an extremely effective and unrelievedly depressing mood (definitely not recommended for the suicidal) with atmosphere to burn. 

SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT -- DVD Review by Porfle

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/17/17

 

We reviewed a barebones advance screener for RED CHRISTMAS back in August (see below) but today (October 17) it comes out on Blu-ray from Artsploitation Films and we've gotten the opportunity to take a gander at it. 

This seasonal slash-em-up is about a highly dysfunctional family (with America's sweetheart, Dee Wallace, as the harried matriarch) getting together like oil and water for an unconventional Christmas celebration with a surprise guest--Cletus, Mom's aborted fetus that survived, grew up, got real crazy, and is now out for either familial love or ruthless revenge, whichever comes first.

Needless to say, it's a raucous affair that serves to bring the disparate family members together at last, even as they're getting picked off one by one.

As for the Blu-ray--not only does it look and sound good enough to put you right in the Christmas spirit, but there are some lovely extras as well.  First up is director Craig Anderson's informal interview with a charming Dee Wallace, who manages to melt our hearts all over again as she speaks of working not only on this film but her previous classics (E.T., THE HOWLING, 10, etc.) as well. 

Next, Anderson and actor Sam Campbell ("Cletus") pop over to Gerald Odwyer's house to chat with him about his experiences playing "Gerry."  Again, it's all pleasantly casual and amusing, as well as informative.

Lastly comes a blooper reel, deleted scene, and brief clip of Odwyer and Anderson goofing around.  The latter two also handle the film's commentary, which is very scene-specific and enlightening.

The Blu-ray is in 2.25:1 widescreen with 5.1 surround sound.  English subtitles and closed-captions are available.

And now, here's our original review of the film itself:

A movie that might also have been called "When Abortions Attack!", RED CHRISTMAS (Artsploitation Films, 2016) is a pretty effective cautionary tale about what can happen if your viable aborted fetus is rescued by the guy who's about to blow up the abortion clinic, grows up into a twisted, deformed freak, and then returns as an adult on Christmas Day to wreak bloody revenge on his erstwhile mother and her comically dysfunctional family. 

Of course, any such film must star beloved genre queen Dee Wallace as the mom, who so desperately wants a traditional, happy family get-together despite having a woefully untraditional, unhappy family with absolutely no intention of getting together.  Her only solace is son Jerry (Gerard Odwyer), whose Downs Syndrome only makes him more special in Mommy's heart.

The rest of the clan includes the rebellious teen girl, her witheringly cynical and very, very pregnant older sister, the ultra-religious sister whose husband is a pious man of the cloth, and Mom's old-hippie brother who is forever puffing away on his medicinal marijuana. 

The prickly interactions amongst this motley bunch, spurred by various family issues and clashing personalities, would be sufficient for a twisted "Big Chill" sort of ensemble dramedy were it not for the fact that their ritual of exchanging gifts around the Christmas tree is interrupted by the entrance of one Cletus, an extremely creepy figure robed in black and wrapped from head to toe like a leper. 

Anyone who watches the abortion clinic prologue and then gets a load of Cletus should have very little trouble putting two and two together as well as mentally mapping out pretty much what territory the rest of RED CHRISTMAS is going to cover. 

All that's left to discover is who's gonna die in what order, how (and how bad) it's going to be, and whether or not first-time writer-director Craig Anderson will be able to make it entertaining for us jaded old slasher-flick junkies. 

Of course, the movie has already proven itself absorbing and fun thanks to good dialogue and performances and a pleasing overall look which includes nicely creative use of color and camera movement. 

Once the axe hits the skull and Cletus starts racking up his body count, the story goes into high gear and keeps us on our toes even though most of the plot's twists and turns cover pretty familiar ground. 
Granted, things start to lag a bit in the second half, but remain generally engaging enough to keep us wanting to see what happens next.  The kills range from teasing glimpses to graphic gore (although this isn't really a gorehound's dream) while our fleeting glimpse of Cletus sans facial bandages drives home the pleasingly retro nature of the film's practical effects. 

The tone is mock serious, with any humor that's inherent in the script kept utterly deadpan and never overt, which I like.  I also like the fact that the premise is so refreshingly different from the usual teens-in-a-cabin or campers-in-the-woods slasher fare while retaining the better elements of such films.

Mainly, though, RED CHRISTMAS lets us enjoy watching the wonderful Dee Wallace giving her all in a great role while fun and entertaining murder, mayhem, and carnage ensue all around her.  It's enough to give horror fans a little taste of Christmas right here in the middle of August.
 


Red Christmas (Official Trailer)

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

CHASING CHRISTMAS -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/18/10

 

Here's the deal: the Bureau of Yuletide Affairs constantly monitors everyone, looking for people who hate Christmas so that they can send the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future into action. Charles Dickens was one of their former targets, and he wrote a fictionalized account of the experience in "A Christmas Carol", but don't mention that book around the Bureau because they find it an unflattering depiction of their organization.

Anyway, in CHASING CHRISTMAS (2005), the latest focus of their efforts is Jack Cameron (Tom Arnold), a divorced father who despises Christmas because, seven years earlier, he caught his former wife Alison (played by the MILF-tastic Sarah-Jane Redmond of "Smallville" and "Millenium") fooling around with their dentist in the coatroom during their daughter Suzanne's Christmas play. In an early scene, two cute little kids notice that Jack doesn't have any Christmas decorations around his house so they cheerfully give him one of theirs, a happy plastic snowman which Jack gratefully places out in the street so a truck can run over it. At the coat factory that he owns, an employee is shocked to find that he's no longer donating their irregulars to the homeless at Christmas, selling them instead to the Guatemalan army. "They don't care if the epaulets are upside-down or not," he tells her. "They're not a very good army--they'll probably only wear 'em once, anyway."

So, with Jack's Scrooge-ness well established, it looks like we're in store for yet another "A Christmas Carol" variant with few surprises along the way. Indeed, at the stroke of seven on Christmas Eve, the Ghost Of Christmas Past shows up in Jack's livingroom just as he's downing a large glass of Scotch and watching non-seasonal shows on TV. Past is played by Leslie Jordan, who used to be Lonnie Garr on "Hearts Afire" and has appeared in numerous other movies and TV shows ("Will & Grace", "Boston Legal", "Boston Public", JASON GOES TO HELL, HERO). You'd know him if you saw him--he's about four feet tall and he's pretty funny. But when he hurls a reluctant Jack over the couch and launches him down the front stairs to get him motivated, we detect that something seems to be bothering him.

Zipping back to 1965, they visit Jack's boyhood home on Christmas Eve, beginning the usual "A Christmas Carol" guilt-trip cycle. But Past is fed up with all that--he yearns to be human, smoke cigarettes, drink alky-hol, chase babes, and stay forever in his beloved past. So, going off-mission a tad, he smashes his "snowflake of invisibility" in order to become human (don't ask), knocks Jack out with a holiday snowglobe, ties him to a chair with a string of decorative lights, and scampers off into the night. It's at this point, you might guess, that the story begins to veer off from the usual "A Christmas Carol" template and become somewhat less predictable.

The Ghost Of Christmas Present is called into action ahead of schedule and sent to the scene to perform damage control before the timeline is irrevocably altered. But first, her "snowflake of invisibility" must also be smashed so that she can become human, too. (Really, it's just better not to ask.) Present is a tall, blonde babe, which I found to distinctly increase this movie's watchability. She is played by a tall, blonde actress named Andrea Roth, who has also been in a whole bunch of other stuff ("Rescue Me", "CSI", THE PERFECT HUSBAND). Her character doesn't know anything about the past, only the present ("Where's Madonna right now?" Jack asks her. "In the bathroom," she replies.)

In their quest to track down Past across various time periods, she'll experience things she's never known before, such as getting drunk, disco dancing, and falling in love. That's right--she falls in love with Jack, as if you didn't already see that coming. (I think it happens while they're in the hot tub.) And Jack gets to see himself not only as a little boy (played by the hilarious Zak Ludwig in an all-too-brief scene), but during his ski-lodge honeymoon ("I was BORING!" he groans), where he also discovers that Alison was already cheating on him with a low-forehead hunk in the bar while he was in their room watching IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

And somehow during it all, Jack learns the true meaning of Christmas, although I didn't really understand exactly how all that frantic chasing around caused this to happen. "God bless us every one!" is shoehorned in at the end, as well as the standard "Scrooge transformed" ending, but I just didn't get that Christmas vibe--which leads me to doubt that CHASING CHRISTMAS will ever become any kind of modern seasonal tradition along the lines of A CHRISTMAS STORY, or even THE SANTA CLAUSE.

But it is fun and fairly entertaining, and I didn't regret sitting through it. I'm a fan of Tom Arnold (although I never understood the whole Rosanne thing) and a non-raunchy, family-friendly Tom is still funny. I like his comedy persona, which seemed to come into full fruition as Ah-nuld's sidekick in TRUE LIES, and which easily keeps this ABC Family TV production enjoyable throughout. Just don't expect to get all misty-eyed and start reaching for the eggnog when he jumps around at the end screaming "Merry Christmas, everybody!"

CHASING CHRISTMAS -- Movie Review by Porfle

A CINDERELLA STORY: CHRISTMAS WISH -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

(Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own.)


Originally posted on 10/25/19

 

Much of the success of a "Cinderella" story depends on how much we hate her wicked stepmother and two wicked stepsisters, while at the same time finding them perversely funny. We also have to like the title character enough to root for her to win out over those three harpies and find true love with her Prince Charming.

In that, 2019's A CINDERELLA STORY: CHRISTMAS WISH (Warner Bros. Home Entertainment) fills in the blanks quite nicely, with Johannah Newmarch (POLARIS, "Stargate: SG-1") as stepmother Deirdre Decker, along with Lillian Doucet-Roche and Chanelle Peloso as the jarringly misnamed stepsisters Joy and Grace, horrify us with their selfishness, vanity, and deviousness yet still delight with their comically overdrawn characters and addlebrained bungling.

As Kat Decker, Laura Marano ("Austin & Ally", SAVING ZOE) fills the "Cinderella" role likably enough, going about the thankless task of waiting hand and foot on her step-monsters while holding down a job as a performing elf at Santa Land, all the while keeping as cheerful and upbeat as possible as she dreams of someday becoming a famous singer and performing her own songs for an adoring public.

Romance is another concern, one which is hampered by her becoming an object of internet ridicule when Joy posts a video in her vlog of Kat making a clumsy fool of herself in front of the town's most eligible bachelor, the handsome and charming Dominic Wintergarden (Gregg Sulkin, "Runaways").

As fate would have it, Dominic plays Santa at the store where Kat works, but she doesn't know it's him because he never takes off his beard at work. 

Naturally, they fall in love for all the right reasons, and as we can all guess by now Kat will get invited to a big gala thrown by Dominic's billionaire dad. But as we can also surmise, wicked stepmother finds a way to steal Kat's invitation and crash the party along with Joy and Grace, who all have designs on snaring one of the Wintergarden men as their own. 

All of this is about as lightweight and breezy as can be, and just as easy to take if one's expectations are no higher than your average teen or tween looking for something fun and vaguely identifiable to watch.

The movie looks bright and colorful, the leads are attractive and chipper, and the baddies are cartoonishly evil. (In my case, it helps that one of the wicked stepsisters resembles Miley Cyrus.)

With the help of Kat's devoted best friend Isla (Isabella Gomez, "One Day At a Time"), who assumes the "Fairy Godmother" role by making a beautiful gown for the gala and encouraging Kat every step of the way, our "Cinderella" gets her big chance for happiness when she ends up singing one of her own compositions for the high-tone audience.

Music plays a major role throughout the rest of the story as well, with Laura Marano and fellow castmembers performing a series of heavily-autotuned pop songs which, while totally forgettable, at least keep things bouncing along pleasantly enough.

Director and co-writer Michelle Johnston, an actress and dancer in such films as A CHORUS LINE and CHICAGO, ably follows up her 2016 effort entitled "A Cinderella Story: If the Shoe Fits."

The 2-disc set from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment contains both the Blu-ray and DVD versions of the movie plus a code for digital download. Extras consist of two featurettes, "The Look and Costumes of 'A Christmas Wish'" and "The Mic and The Stage", as well as trailers for other releases.

As teen-oriented musical rom-coms go, this one is about as wispy as cotton candy but equally sweet and easy to swallow.  A CINDERELLA STORY: CHRISTMAS WISH does what it aims to do: make us root for "Cinderella", hate her wicked step-harpies (while laughing at them), and feel good when "Prince Charming" sweeps her off her feet.



#CinderellaChristmas

Region: Region A/1 (Read more about DVD/Blu-ray formats.)
Number of discs: 2
Rated:PG/Parental Guidance Suggested
Studio: Warner Brothers
DVD Release Date: October 29, 2019
Run Time: 93 minutes


TRAILER:





MUSIC VIDEO:

A CINDERELLA STORY: CHRISTMAS WISH -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

SNOWMAGEDDON -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/7/12

 

There seems to be an entire category of movies on the SyFy Channel in which small Canadian towns double as small Northwestern towns in the USA which are menaced by some kind of supernatural (or super-natural) force, which resides or has its origin in a nearby mountain.  Bad CGI comes as a standard feature; giant tentacles are optional. 

One of the latest entries in this curious little sub-genre is SNOWMAGEDDON (2011), a movie whose title pretty much lets us know what kind of movie we're in for.  This time, a rustic burg in Alaska gets hammered by a series of unnatural disasters such as a storm cloud that shoots ice torpedoes which shatter into deadly shrapnel, gaping fissures bisecting city streets and gushing flames, and huge pointy things shooting up out of the ground to spear moving vehicles like shish-kabobs. 

The reason for all this is kept from us at first, lending the film an air of supernatural mystery that's mildly intriguing--until, that is, we find out that the secret behind it all is pretty freakin' dumb.  Suffice it to say that there's this kid named Rudy who plays a role-playing game about dragons and wizards, and he anonymously receives a strange snowglobe for Christmas with a tiny repica of the town in it, and whenever he winds it up, something bad happens.  Somehow, all of this is related to that RPG that he plays.  Why?  Don't ask me.

The destruction is depicted with some pretty good practical effects--the picturesque little town is trashed quite nicely--along with the usual fair-to-awful CGI.  Once the slush hits the fan, the action is split into different little suspense situations of varying interest, including two hapless shlubs trapped in a bus covered with downed power lines, stranded snowboarders who picked the wrong mountain to board, and a mother-daughter duo in a crashed helicopter. 

Good editing helps jazz things up a bit, but it's all just standard time-waster stuff that helps cheapo flicks like this fill in the space between the opening and closing credits. 

Once the kid finally convinces the grownups that his evil snowglobe is causing all the trouble--which, admittedly, might be a bit hard to swallow at first--they follow his sage advice on how to combat the supernatural menace.  Which means two things: one, they've really run out of ideas.  And two, his dad, John Miller (David Cubitt), must make a trek up the now-volcanic peak in order to do what the hero in the game does to stop the evil. 

The acting is about as good as you'd expect from this sort of thing, with Laura Harris (of the late, lamented "Defying Gravity") deserving better as Rudy's plucky mom, Beth.  The dialogue isn't any better or worse than required, save for the occasional eye-rolling exchange such as this:

LARRY: "That thing's straight from Hell itself."
FRED: "Calm down, Larry."
LARRY: "You calm down, Fred."

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  No extras.

Really, I can't add any more to this than you can already figure out from the title.  If the word SNOWMAGEDDON doesn't tell you exactly what this movie is all about and whether or not you'll enjoy it, nothing will.  Bottom line: it's a passable, tolerable time-waster.

SNOWMAGEDDON -- DVD Review by Porfle