MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/17/11

 

Usually, a combination of the phrases "SyFy Original Movie" and "giant bad-CGI monsters" is enough to give me a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.  Especially if the movie they're referring to has a really dumb title.  Well, unbelievably enough, MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID (2011) is the rollicking, rip-roaring, and divinely ridiculous exception to that rule.   

The highlight is a blood-curdling death duel between two of the most horrifying monsters to ever walk the face of the earth.  I'm referring, of course, to 80s teen queens Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.  Debbie, who's gotten a bit wiry in her middle years but is still cute, plays eco-terrorist Nikki with loads of energy.  Tiffany, on the other hand, has filled out considerably since her younger days and, as Seminole State Park Chief Ranger Terry, marks off a few boxes on my fetish checklist with her generous figure, skimpy uniform, and sidearm.  (Sorry if that's too much information.)

When Nikki and her cohorts break into a lab and let loose a bunch of mutant pythons, they grow to gigantic proportions and start eating all the alligators, throwing the local gator hunters out of work.  This is fine with Nikki because she believes pythons belong at the top of the food chain, even if some of the lower links consist of bumbling park rangers, ill-fated fiancés, and comical rednecks.
 


Terry, meanwhile, has the bright idea of loading up a bunch of dead chickens with super-steroids and feeding them to the gators, thus bringing nature into balance again.  ("What's crazy about this--feeding steroids to gators?" she asks her partner, Angie.  "I mean, what could go wrong?")  The result is a horde of colossal alligator-monsters that feast on anything that moves.  Naturally, the pythons start eating their steroid-enhanced eggs and get even bigger, leading to mega-python vs. gatoroid pandemonium throughout the Everglades and eventually in the very streets of downtown Miami. 

Surprisingly, Roger Corman's name doesn't show up anywhere in the credits for this freaky flick.  Horror veteran Mary Lambert (PET SEMETARY, THE ATTIC) directs with a sure hand and keeps things moving at such a rapid clip that the story never has a chance to get boring.  The creature attacks are exciting, suspenseful, over the top, and even a bit nerve-wracking at times, despite the lighthearted tone and resolutely fake-looking CGI.




Willfully cheesy, this movie is positively frothy with deadpan comedy and campy dialogue.  Tiffany and Debbie get off to a good hostile start, nearly sideswiping each other on the road and growling "Bitch!" in unison.  Their environmentalist wacko vs. park ranger animosity is stoked throughout the film ("Looks like somebody had 'bitch' for breakfast!" Debbie taunts during their initial clash), building to the eventual catfight that pays off like a slot machine of fun.  When these legendary rivals go flying over a table during the fancy outdoor ball that Tiffany's throwing to raise money for the park, you can bet all those whipped cream-laden pies aren't just sitting there by accident. 

Another old fave, A Martinez (THE COWBOYS), plays Diego, a scientist who tries to convince the oblivious Terry that her park is becoming a human buffet for ravenous reptiles.  His skills as a pilot and demolitions expert will come in handy during the story's frantic climax, as Terry and Nikki join him in trying to lure the rampaging beasts out of the city and into a dynamite-laden deathtrap.  As Terry's elderly partner Angie, Kathryn Joosten has some of the best lines and delivers them with an exquisitely dry wit.  Ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz shows up at the fund-raising ball, upping the film's nostalgia value even more.



The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of the film's trailer and a making-of featurette. 

Now, please don't take all of my giddy ravings as an indication that MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID is some kind of a great movie, because it isn't, of course.  But compared to all the other goofy "hybrid-creature" SyFy Channel flicks of its ilk that I've sat through recently, it's freaking CITIZEN KANE. 


Buy it at Amazon.com:
DVD
Blu-Ray

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID -- DVD Review by Porfle

The Three Stooges: When Curly, Shemp, And Their Stand-Ins Became Joe Besser (video)

 

Here are the times when old footage of Curly and Shemp (and their stand-ins) was used in later Joe Besser remakes. They're in order of the Joe shorts. Can you think of any I missed? The ones used are: Oily To Bed, Oily To Rise (1939) Oil's Well That Ends Well (1958) He Cooked His Goose (1952) Triple Crossed (1959) What's The Matador? (1942) Sappy Bullfighters (1959) Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

The Three Stooges: When Curly, Shemp, And Their Stand-Ins Became Joe Besser (video)

THE TITFIELD THUNDERBOLT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/23/19

In 1953 England's Ealing Studios, specialists in folksy feelgood comedies, released their first Technicolor film THE TITFIELD THUNDERBOLT (Film Movement Classics). And in keeping with that colorful milestone, it's one of their most cheerful, exhilarating comedies ever.

Titfield is one of those small English villages that's right out of a storybook, with an easygoing, tightly-knit citizenry to match.  When the powers-that-be threaten to close down their little railroad between Titfield and an adjacent town, leaving the transport business wide open for an unscrupulous pair of bus operators, some of the plucky leading citizens of the town get together to acquire the railway themselves and keep it running.

These include the railway founder's grandson, Gordon (John Gregson, THE LONGEST DAY, SOS PACIFIC) and elderly vicar Sam (George Relph), a die-hard train enthusiast, who persuade well-to-do pub owner Mr. Valentine (Stanley Holloway, PASSPORT TO PIMLICO, IN HARM'S WAY) to finance the endeavor with the promise that he can operate a traveling bar on the train that can stay open all hours of the day and night.

But even with the financing and resources all settled, there's still the matter of getting approval from the railway authorities, who will be sending an inspector in one month's time to assess the train's worthiness.

This gives bus owners Alec Pearce (Ewan Roberts) and Vernon Crump (Jack MacGowran) time to pull every dastardly trick in the book to wreck the budding railway's chances, even if it means wrecking the train itself.

Thus, the stage is set for one of the liveliest and most action-packed comedies to come out of England in the 50s.  Some of the bits of business in and around the Thunderbolt are worthy of Buster Keaton, at least in terms of cinematic enthusiasm and a sense of unbridled ebullience. 

We get some good old "will they make it there in time" suspense during the exciting climax in which everything seems to go wrong while the inspector is aboard, thanks to the never-ending attempts at sabotage from Pearce and Crump.

Not only that, but we're also treated to a few stunning setpieces including a runaway locomotive steaming through the streets of town and a thrilling derailment in which the model work is first class.

Enriching the experience even more is a top-notch cast giving very likable performances, including Hugh Griffith (WHAT?, BEN-HUR, EXODUS) as a crusty old former engineer constantly jostling with vicar Sam to see who gets to drive the train. 

The lush, verdant, pastoral setting and relaxed atmosphere of Titfield mirrors that of John Ford's similar-looking THE QUIET MAN, released a year earlier, with happy villagers evincing a sense of solidarity and togetherness which extends to their cooperative efforts to help keep their beloved railway going themselves.

The presence of Jack MacGowran playing yet another simpering toady is an even further tie to Ford's film, in which he served the same role (as "Ignatius Feeney") to Victor McLaglen's blustery bully. 

And the direction by Charles Crichton (A FISH CALLED WANDA, THE LAVENDER HILL MOB) and script by T.E.B. Clarke (PASSPORT TO PIMLICO, THE LAVENDER HILL MOB) suffer not a bit in comparison.

Most of all, THE TITFIELD THUNDERBOLT is an endearingly optimistic, benignly human story whose warmth and genuine humor are matched by a gorgeous, almost fairytale setting. And it will henceforth be on my short list of movies to reach for whenever I need a bit of cheering up.


Buy it from Film Movement


Tech Specs

1953
84 Minutes
United Kingdom
English
Comedy, Classics
Not Rated
Sound: Mono
Discs: 1

Blu-ray Features

Making The Titfield Thunderbolt featurette
Cinematographer Douglas Slocombe Home Movie Footage
The Lion Locomotive featurette
Locations featurette
Douglas Slocombe on Charles Crichton audio interview
The Titfield Thunderbolt original trailer
Stills gallery

THE TITFIELD THUNDERBOLT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

All The Giant Behemoth Scenes From "THE GIANT BEHEMOTH" (1959) (video)

THE GIANT BEHEMOTH is a radioactive monster from the depths of the sea.

The film was known in England as BEHEMOTH, THE SEA MONSTER.

The director, Eugène Lourié, also directed THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS as well as GORGO and THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK.

The stop-motion animation was done in Los Angeles by SPFX pioneer Willis O'Brien of KING KONG fame.

These effects were then integrated into footage filmed in Great Britain.
O'Brien made the most of a relatively low budget.

Audiences noticed the film's similiarities to BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS.

Distributors insisted on such a dinosaur-like creature instead of the script's original radioactive blob.

British film censors originally gave the film an "X" certificate.
This was changed to an "A" after two minutes were removed.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

All The Giant Behemoth Scenes From "THE GIANT BEHEMOTH" (1959) (video)

"THE DIRTY DOZEN" (1967): Worst Closeup Ever? (video)

It's one of the best war movies ever...

...but there's a closeup in THE DIRTY DOZEN that's one of the worst.

Who in the heck ever thought this shot of Richard Jaeckel was a good idea?


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

"THE DIRTY DOZEN" (1967): Worst Closeup Ever? (video)

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/21/21

 

I've always loved the American-International "Beach Party" series, and I always will. This gives you a good idea of the overall tenor of my assessment of HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (Olive Films, 1965). As for WHY I love these movies so much, well...err...uhh...

To be honest, a lot of people will hate this movie and others like it, and, as far as they're concerned, rightfully so. It's a supremely silly slapstick sex farce with the lowest teen denominator in mind, and it was made to shower undiscerning audiences with brightly-colored pop culture confetti made up of whatever seemed like it might appeal to them, including girls in bikinis, bikes, surfing, jangly rock 'n' roll, cartoonish action, really corny jokes, and cameo appearances by faces familiar to both the younger and older generations.

All of which is why I find these movies to be such irresistible fun--because that's all they try to be, and in their own stupefying way, they succeed.  It helps if you're a fan of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (I am), two of the most appealing young stars of the 60s, and enjoy occasionally turning off your mind, relaxing, and floating downstream. It is not dying, even though some might feel that way about it.

 

This time, Frankie's serving six weeks of naval reserve duty in Tahiti, separating him from Annette and tempting him to indulge in the local "social scene." Even so, he expects Annette (as "Dee Dee") to be faithful to him back there in Malibu, so he enlists the help of witch doctor Bwana Chicky Baby (none other than the venerable Buster Keaton, whose assistants include the beautiful Irene Tsu and Bobbi Shaw) to help him keep an eye on her with the help of a magical pelican.

Bwana Chicky Baby also plans to divert the beach boys' attention away from Annette by creating the perfect woman, who appears to everyone first as an empty leopard skin bikini. The great John Ashley (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER), an American-International mainstay doing beach duty for the studio, then gets to croon the title song before the bikini is suddenly filled by the gorgeous Cassandra (Beverly Adams).

In short order, a nattily-dressed Mickey Rooney and Dwayne Hickman show up as big business types looking for the "girl next door" to accompany Dwayne in a motorcycle race which Mickey hopes will improve the image of cyclists (an image that Eric Von Zipper and his bumbling biker gang do their best to sully when they show up and Eric falls in love with Cassandra).

 

 

 
Dwayne, against Mickey's wishes, falls for Annette, who plays hard to get as usual while the magic pelican keeps watch over their activities for the absent Frankie.  And thus the film's main action is established with lots of romantic complications and slapstick nonsense until the big bike race, which turns the final quarter of the film into a live-action cartoon that's like a cross between "Wacky Races" and "Road Runner."

This is the seventh film in A-I's "Beach Party" series (if you count "Pajama Party" and "Ski Party") and by this time the concept was starting to wind down. The next related films would be SERGEANT DEADHEAD and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, then one more "bikini" movie, the financial flop THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI. After that, the emphasis would be on stock car racing with FIREBALL 500 and THUNDER ALLEY.

But there's still fun to be had with this formula if it strikes your fancy as it does mine. Annette is just as appealing a fantasy girlfriend as ever, and gets to sing a couple of songs (one with The Kingsmen as her backup band) while fending off Dwayne Hickman's romantic overtures.

 

Rooney seems to be having a good time spoofing HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (his character's name, J. Peachmont Keane, is a variation of that play's J. Pierpont Finch). He even participates in some of the many musical numbers that keep cropping up at the darndest times.

Most of the silliness comes from Harvey Lembeck's familiar Eric Von Zipper and his gang of "stupids", with "Seinfeld" regular Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser turning up as their cohort in crime, the evil North Dakota Pete.  The bike race finale throws any semblance of coherence or sanity to the winds, making the old Looney Tunes cartoons look like models of adult sophistication in comparison.

In addition to the great Keaton and Rooney, the film offers supporting roles and cameos from the likes of Brian Donlevy as Rooney's boss B.D. "Big Deal" McPherson and director William Asher's wife at the time, "Bewitched" star Elizabeth Montgomery, as (what else?) a witch. Frankie, by this time, was demanding more money and is relegated to just a few "Tahiti" scenes.  Annette, bless her heart, is just as wonderful as ever.

 

 

Will Dwayne and Annette win the big race instead of the devious Von Zipper and Cassandra?  Will Annette finally forget her vow to stay faithful to the unfaithful Frankie and give in to Dwayne's advances? Will the rest of the boys (including Jody McCrea's "Bonehead") forget hypnotic Cassandra and return their attention to the rest of the jealousy-inflamed girls? Will John Ashley sing another awful song? Will Mickey Rooney finish doing whatever it is that he's doing?

If you couldn't care less, there are probably a lot of other people who feel exactly the same way you do. I don't care that much myself, but as a lifelong beach movie lover, I sure do have a great time watching movies like HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI anyway. It's the ultimate in light entertainment, and if you take it lightly enough, the rational part of your brain will enjoy the vacation.  

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

SIN IN THE SUBURBS (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/8/18

 

SIN IN THE SUBURBS (1964) is writer-director Joe Sarno continuing to come into his own as a filmmaker who takes the genre of naughty, softcore sex potboilers and invests it with an unusual dramatic heft and interesting characters who trade dialogue that's sharp and fun to listen to.

Not to say that the obligatory sleaze and tawdriness of such films are missing here--it's the sort of world Sarno's characters exist in, whether they be conniving lowlifes using sex for gain or well-to-do hypocrites posing as model citizens while indulging forbidden sexual perversions behind closed doors.

The term "when the cat's away" really fits this normal-looking 60s suburb in which lonely, sex-hungry wives, feeling neglected by their working husbands, have it off with various neighbors, workmen, or, in the case of Mrs. Lewis (Audrey Campbell, THE SEXPERTS), her teen daughter Kathy's high school friend.

Meanwhile, we see local sex-bomb Yvette lounging around the house in lingerie and paying the furniture bill by seducing the collector.  Yvette lives with her supposed "brother" Louis (W.B. Parker), and together they're hatching a scheme to start an illicit sex club which they hope will have frustrated neighbors shelling out hundreds of bucks for.

What starts out a bit like a sex comedy (the bill collector guy is funny) soon veers toward the dramatic as the sexual vortex so many of the characters seem caught in starts to spin out of control.  Lisa, left alone while husband Henry is at work, starts guzzling booze and luring abusive workmen into her home. Mrs. Lewis has daytime swingers' parties with friends in her own house, one of which is walked in upon by a her shocked daughter Kathy.

Kathy, it seems, has the wildest life of them all when she's molested by her would-be boyfriend and then seduced into a hot lesbian affair with Yvette. Judy Young plays her with just the right balance between still just a kid and becoming a troubled, sexually-confused young woman.

It's almost the stuff soap operas are made of, but it's all so edgy (for its time) and starkly compelling that we're constantly transfixed by what's going on and eager to see what happens next.  Sarno's evolving as a director with an instinctive talent for staging interesting shots and bringing out the best in his cast.

The story content is strictly adults-only for 1964, with elements such as adultery, attempted rape, lesbianism, and other sensitive subjects that were still taboo.  It feels like we're watching something on the shady side, getting a voyeuristic glimpse at these desperate sinful lives.

Sarno's screenplay goes beyond simple sexploitation and builds to an emotionally jarring ending after one of Yvette and Louis' illicit sex parties, which is staged remarkably and with lasting effect.

Sarno's black-and-white photography is crisp, noirish, and constantly interesting to look at.  The print used for Film Movement's Blu-ray edition is very good, even with the occasional scratches, specks, etc. which, for me, give it a nostalgic feel that recalls the well-worn prints we used to see at the local theater or on late-night TV.

Having just watched the original Star Trek episode "I, Mudd" the night before, I was surprised to see the actor who played the android "Norman", Richard Tatro, as the dangerous guy Lisa foolishly opens her front door to.

Yvette is played by none other than Dyanne Thorne (billed here as Lahna Monroe) of "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the S.S." fame, looking almost unrecognizable with her jet-black bouiffant hairdo. The film's one bit of actual nudity is a fleeting glimpse of her bare breasts.

SIN IN THE SUBURBS ends with a shadowy, poignant shot that looks like it might be straight out of early David Lynch.  And with it continues my fondness for Joe Sarno's exquisite black-and-white early films, which are unlike anything else I've seen.

Read our reviews of other Joe Sarno films HERE

SIN IN THE SUBURBS (1964) -- Movie Review by Porfle

BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/7/09

"Why," asks the tagline for 2009's BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT, "would a man frame himself for murder?" Hmm--because he's stupid? Or maybe because he's an ambitious young TV-news reporter who wants to prove that a big-shot district attorney, in a bid to become the next governor, has been planting DNA evidence to help him win high-profile murder cases?

If you chose either of those possibilities, you get a cigar. Jesse Metcalfe (LOADED, JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE) plays C.J. Nicholas, the boyish newshound with the half-baked scheme to have himself charged with the brutal murder of a prostitute with the help of his cameraman, Finley (Joel Moore). With an industrious fervor, they plant just about every bit of fake evidence necessary to have the cops come knocking at C.J.'s door with a warrant, led by the always likable Orlando Jones as Detective Ben Nickerson. Stupid mission accomplished!

But before you can say "oops", the DVD evidence needed to clear C.J. of the charges and prove district attorney Mark Hunter (Michael Douglas) guilty of evidence tampering is destroyed. Cut to our brilliant reporter on death row awaiting his execution by lethal injection. Can you say "duh"?

But wait--as chance would have it, C.J. has been romancing Hunter's pretty assistant, Ella (Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia"), and she embarks on a little Nancy Drew action to try and clear his name. But Hunter's onto her, and sics his burly bad-cop henchman on her. Will she live long enough to save the day?

A remake of the 1956 film noir directed by Fritz Lang, this low-grade thriller by writer-director Peter Hyams (THE STAR CHAMBER, OUTLAND, 2010), which was filmed in Shreveport, Louisiana, is little more than a mildly-interesting way to waste an hour and a half. Hyams rushes us through the plot as though he's afraid to linger on anything for more than a few seconds, making it impossible for us to really get to know these characters or invest any emotion in them.

This is reflected in the choppy, hyper editing, which bombards us with way too many different shots and camera angles even in the slower scenes. Major story points and exposition are often revealed by on-the-spot TV reporters covering the trial, making us feel as though we've missed whole scenes. This kind of hurried-along, shorthand storytelling gives the film a flat, distant feeling that is in evidence even in the love scenes between C.J. and Ella, which are perfunctory at best, and drain much of the suspense from the courtroom scenes themselves, which should have been the film's high point. Murky cinematography and sound, along with one of master film composer David Shire's least effective scores, also fall short of the mark.

The story comes to life during its action and suspense sequences. Hyams delivers a rousing chase scene in the first half, with a frantic Finley racing to get to the courtroom on time with the evidence to clear C.J. as Hunter's crooked cop pursues him with intent to kill. Another chase in a parking garage has the bad guy trying to run down a fleeing Ella--there's a really neat shot of her cowering against a pillar as he does doughnuts around her in his car. In a less frenetic scene, Ella tries to steal some restricted files from a police computer before the cop in charge returns and catches her, generating some mild Hitchcock-style suspense. Here, the editing serves the film well for a change.

Metcalf and Tamblyn do what they can with their underwritten characters, but we never have more than a superficial interest in them. Douglas, of course, can make the most of material like this without breaking a sweat, and it's a shame his character wasn't fleshed out more--it would've been interesting to see him given more to do. As it is, he advances the plot and that's about it. On a positive note, none of the actors attempts one of those comically fake-sounding Southern accents that one sometimes hears in these Louisiana-based productions.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and English and Spanish subtitles. Extras include a commentary with Hyams and Metcalfe, and two brief (less than four minutes apiece) featurettes. One is a making-of promo, "The Whole Truth--The Making of 'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt'" and the other, "Criminal Forensics--The Burden of Proof" features an ex-cop discussing how crime-scene evidence is collected and processed.

It's hard to sink your teeth into BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT--it's like sitting down to a steak dinner and being served a bowl of Jello. You might even be a little amazed at how rushed the story's resolution is, although just when you think it's over, there's a nifty twist right before the fadeout that almost makes the whole viewing experience worthwhile. It's too little too late, but I liked it.

 

BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT -- DVD Review by Porfle

The Three Stooges: Reusable Endings (For Non-Remakes) (video)

 

Three Stooges' remakes often used the same footage for their endings...

...but sometimes unrelated non-remakes did too.

And in at least one case the ending was identical!

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

The Three Stooges: Reusable Endings (For Non-Remakes) (video)

The Three Stooges in "Start Cheering" (video)

 

In this 1938 Columbia comedy starring Jimmy Durante, the boys do a cameo bit as football tackling dummies. Talk about typecasting! Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

The Three Stooges in "Start Cheering" (video)

RIGHTEOUS KILL -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 1/4/09

Robert De Niro and Al Pacino--a pairing of dynamic acting talents that still gets one's attention the way it did back in '95 when Michael Mann first brought them together as the opposing leads in his bullet-riddled crime drama HEAT (although they only actually shared two scenes together). Perhaps the team-up of Bob and Al doesn't quite generate the same kind of heat in 2008 as it did then, but it's still a good deal of fun to see them on the screen together in Jon Avnet's cop drama RIGHTEOUS KILL, a vehicle that's almost but not quite worthy of them.

Veteran homicide detectives Turk (De Niro) and Rooster (Pacino) are old-school NYPD cops with a hands-on approach to handling bad guys. Turk in particular seems to have an anger management problem, and when certain vile criminals who have escaped justice due to legal technicalities start getting executed left and right, suspicion begins to fall upon him.

The fact that the film opens with Turk giving a videotaped confession would seem to render things a bit too cut-and-dried, and indeed we begin to consider other possibilities. Could he be taking the rap for his partner? Or perhaps even his forensic-specialist girlfriend, Karen (Carla Gugino)? The two younger cops who are working the case with them, Perez (John Leguizamo) and Riley (Donnie Wahlberg), seem exceedingly anxious to pin the murders on Turk. Might one of them be the killer?

One of the most interesting things about Russell Gewirtz' screenplay is the exploration of how much a cop may be capable of taking the law into his own hands when he has the power to do so. What if you know for certain that someone's guilty of a heinous crime, but he gets off? Is it right to frame him for something he didn't do, so that he'll get his deserved punishment? The moral dilemma is intensified when the vigilante action escalates from planting evidence to outright execution--the "righteous kill." And although Turk and Rooster both seem equally hard-nosed and ruthless, the difference between how far each is willing to go to exact justice may lead to ruin for one or both of them.

The casting of the two leads is great, but not the major event it might have been. Our overfamiliarity with Robert De Niro, especially as a comic figure in films such as MEET THE PARENTS, seems to have diluted the "actor" mystique he had back in the TAXI DRIVER and RAGING BULL days. Likewise with Pacino, no longer the riveting young talent from THE GODFATHER or SCARFACE, now the "hoo-ahh" guy with the big hair and the peacock strut who sometimes seems content to hang back and let his considerable presence carry a role. Which is enough, really, because each of these guys carries sufficient weight to make any film better, and who can resist seeing them playing off of each other?

They do seem to be on auto-pilot at times--De Niro's not really feelin' some of that less-than-thrilling dialogue, while Pacino often just seems to be having fun--but when they're on, as they are in several key scenes, we get some of that dangerous intensity that has always made them exciting. Especially De Niro, whose character starts to get a little scary later on because we really don't know what he'll do next. With Pacino, it eventually becomes apparent that his character's jovial fascade hides something more ominous than is first apparent, and he brings his old skills to bear when it counts.

Carla Gugino, who played Marv's gorgeous parole officer in SIN CITY, is well cast and makes the most of some juicy scenes with the two leads. Leguizamo and Wahlberg do good work here, as does the reliable Brian Dennehy as Lieutenant Hingis, who grudgingly begins to suspect that Turk is the killer. As the cocky criminal Spider, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson proves that he's as adept at pretending to be a gangsta onscreen as he is onstage. And in a smaller role, Melissa Leo of TV's "Homicide: Life on the Street" is very good as the distraught mother of a murdered child.

Jon Avnet's direction is workmanlike and unflashy, the look of the film hovering somewhere between top-grade gloss and assembly-line competence. Although there is quite a bit of violence and tension along the way, what's missing is a hard-edged, gritty realism that would've pushed this film to a higher level. Even so, the action and suspense keep things moving while the performances are often impressive. And although I actually saw the twist ending coming from a few blocks away, the final revelation and emotional ending (which has faint echoes of that last scene in HEAT) are rewarding.

The 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen image and Dolby Surround 5.1 sound are both good. Director Avnet provides an informative scene-specific commentary. Extras include two featurettes, "The Investigation: An In-Depth Look at 'Righteous Kill'" and "The Thin Blue Line: An Exploration of Cops & Criminals", the latter being of special interest as it exposes some of the real-life incidents that inspired the screenplay, with comments from actual cops. Subtitles are in English SDH and Spanish.

While this isn't quite the world-shaking pairing of De Niro and Pacino that some of us always wished for, RIGHTEOUS KILL is still a solid, exciting story for them to bluster around in. And there are definitely a lot of things in this world that are less fun than watching these two legendary tough guys playing out-of-control New York homicide cops with itchy trigger fingers. If that sounds like fun to you, then by all means check it out.

RIGHTEOUS KILL -- DVD review by porfle

THE BOYS IN THE BAND -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/25/08

While growing up, I'd always known THE BOYS IN THE BAND (1970) as "that gay movie" because it was pretty much the first of its kind. Now that I've seen it, it's not the gay version of ROOTS as I'd long suspected, nor is it a farcical companion piece to LA CAGE AUX FOLLES. Based on the groundbreaking Off-Broadway play by Mart Crowley (who also wrote the screenplay) and starring the original cast, it's full of wonderfully witty dialogue along with some equally lowbrow humor, but what it eventually becomes is an emotional drama about people who joke about their own inner turmoil until the laughter turns to bitter tears and scathing recriminations.

The story begins with Michael giving a surprise birthday party in his apartment for his friend Harold, when suddenly his former college roommate, Alan, shows up. Which wouldn't be a problem, except Michael, Harold, and everyone else at the party are gay, while Alan is (seemingly) arrow-straight and unprepared for the sight of a bunch of guys drinking Pink Ladies and chorus dancing to "Love is Like a Heat Wave." Although the story is lighthearted and filled with breezy humor and wisecracks at first, we get the feeling we're in for some heavy drama sooner or later. Alan's presence at the party is the proverbial other shoe that begs to be dropped at some point, but even this is hardly the main event we think it will be--before the night is over, shoes will be dropping all over the place.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND is one of those filmed plays that often betrays its theatrical origins--but in a good way--while remaining almost self-consciously cinematic in order to balance things out. Director William Friedkin deftly keeps the camera moving and the characters in motion with various bits of business, and the acting, dialogue, and editing all crackle. Several of the lines are quoteworthy--when Michael's weekend lover Donald enters in his party attire and asks, "Am I stunning?", Michael responds, "You're absolutely stunning. You look like sh**, but I'm absolutely stunned."

Birthday boy Harold's belated appearance is worth waiting for--he's a real pip, and Friedkin lets us know it by giving him an entrance worthy of Karloff's monster in FRANKENSTEIN. Impeccably dressed and coolly detached, this self-described "32-year-old ugly pockmarked Jew fairy" saunters world-wearily into the midst of the film's first major blow-up and levels the whole thing like a cross between Bette Davis and Oscar Wilde. His acerbic attitude and dry, sarcastic witticisms usher in the film's next phase of frank dialogue and brittle interplay. As for Michael, he seems to morph into Joan Crawford the longer he's around Harold and starts in on him with relentlessly cutting putdowns, which the unflappable Harold disinterestedly waves off with bland retorts like "You hateful sow."

When a sudden rainstorm buffets the terrace and forces the party inside, putting everyone into close quarters including the shell-shocked Alan, it's here that Michael's alcohol-fueled cruel streak really comes to the fore and nobody is spared. He initiates a party game designed to humiliate the participants for his own sour amusement, but, in unintended ways, it forces the characters to confront problems that need to be worked out--not just gay problems, but universal ones as well. Even the cartoonishly-flamboyant Emory gets his fleeting moment to be a real person instead of a caricature. Ultimately, Michael himself turns out to have the biggest issues, and Harold's just the guy to make him face them.

By this time, we don't need kinetic visuals to keep us interested, so Friedkin gets more stagy during this sequence to focus attention on the dialogue. Still, he handles it all with exquisite dexterity. The final act is riveting, with the kind of raw emotion played to the hilt that you rarely see outside of something like Liz and Dick going at each other in WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?

As Michael, Kenneth Nelson runs the gamut of emotions in a brilliant and moving performance. Leonard Frey is so decadently cool as Harold, he could almost be a Bond villian. Laurence Luckinbill and Keith Prentice have some great moments together as Hank and Larry, a couple with painfully differing views on monogamy. Alan, whose homophobia may be a denial of his true nature, is played by Peter White with just the right enigmatic touch. 

The one really flaming queen in the bunch, Cliff Gorman's Emory--described by Alan as "a butterfly in heat"--is the most stereotypically camp character, but in a story in which almost everyone is gay, the omission of someone like Emory might seem unrealistic in itself. The rest of the ensemble is equally good, including Frederick Combs as Donald, Reuben Greene as Bernard, and Robert La Tourneaux as Cowboy, Emory's dumb-blonde birthday gift to Harold.

The film has been restored under Friedkin's supervision and remixed in stereo sound. In a way, the look reminded me of a really high-class Joe Sarno movie but without the sex. After watching it I couldn't wait to indulge in the bonus features, which include a commentary track with Friedkin and Crowley being interviewed, and three featurettes. The titles, "The Boys in the Band: The Play", "The Boys in the Band: The Movie", and "The Boys in the Band: Today", are self-explanatory, and feature retrospective comments by Friedkin, Crowley, and some of the surviving castmembers.

As far as the fine art of transferring plays to the screen goes, THE BOYS IN THE BAND is a tour-de-force for the young Friedkin and a robustly entertaining experience for the viewer. It's funny, emotionally searing, and cathartic. And it's a lot more than just "that gay movie", because anyone can recognize some of these characters' fears and insecurities in themselves. But the fact that they are gay gives it all a unique perspective that adds to its resonance.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND -- DVD Review by Porfle

VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/23/17

 

It sounds like they put all their eggs-ploitation elements into one basket with the title VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST (aka "Vudú sangriento"), but this wonderfully awful 1974 Euro-horror potboiler, now available on Blu-ray from The Film Detective, is actually pretty short on exorcism (there isn't any) and black people (two of them are actually white actors in dark body makeup). I guess VOODOO WHITE NON-EXORCIST just didn't have the same ring to it.

They didn't skimp on the voodoo, though--the opening flashback sequence, which is revisited several times throughout the film, was filmed in real Caribbean locations such as Jamaica and Haiti, and there's a frenzied voodoo ceremony during which the beautiful Kenya (Eva León) is beheaded.  After everyone tosses her noggin around like a beach ball at a rock concert, her lover Gatanebo (Sergio Leone regular Aldo Sambrell) is entombed alive as punishment for their illicit love. 

Kenya turns up again centuries later, reincarnated (sans body makeup) as Silvia, assistant and mistress to archeologist Dr. Kessling (Alfred May).  As fate would have it, the newly-unearthed mummy they're traveling with via cruise ship is none other than the undead Gatanebo, who not only stalks the ship killing descendants of those who buried him alive, but discovers his lost love right there on board with a new identity and complexion.

 

It's pretty much a shipboard retelling of THE MUMMY but with voodoo instead of Egyptian curses.  The buff, bald, and now inexplicably Caucasian Gatanebo passes for normal most of the time but occasionally reverts back to mummy form with a makeup job that resembles crinkled papier-mache', whereupon he either murders people or pokes them with his golden asp-ring to make them his slaves. 

He kills a bartender descended from the man who beheaded Kenya, then leaves the guy's head on Silvia's pillow for her to find, Godfather-style, when she wakes up.  (He's like a cat bringing home a dead mouse to its master as a present.)  Later, he intercepts a visiting professor at the airport in order to assume his identity, squishing the poor sap under a steam roller.

Production values for this low-budget Spanish effort are fair to poor--direction and camerawork are slipshod at best (but with the odd flash of style now and then), the script is half-baked and filled with howlers ("In infinite time, what must happen happens"), and much of the acting and dubbing are below par.  SPFX and makeups are fake-looking but fun, including some man-to-mummy (and vice versa) transformations.

The Caribbean locations are nice, and the cruise ship is actually at sea during the on-deck exteriors, adding much to the film's ambience.  (Is it just me, or does the recurring island musical theme sound just like the first bars of "Ferry Cross the Mersey"?)  Animal lovers will find the killing of an actual chicken during the voodoo ceremony distressing.

The cast of characters can be a real hoot, especially an excitable lady named Mrs. Thorndyke who reads cards and tells the future (her visions about what's happening aboard the ship are totally accurate yet nobody takes her seriously).  Some of the exchanges between her and henpecked husband Alfred are hilarious:

"Alfred! I would like to get a sarcophagus like this to rest in eternally."
"I'll do my best, honey."

There's also an exotic dancer who's the very definition of "overripe" (I mean that in a really good way) constantly being courted by a world-famous hamburger tycoon, and a portly police inspector who makes like he's Hercule Poirot by deducing that since the first murder occurred at sea, then the culprit must be someone on board the ship.  "It's a shame," he opines after the hamburger guy is killed.  "The best hamburgers in the world."

After more mindnumbing mayhem, the finale has the inspector and his dangerously callow assistants tracking the mummy and the kidnapped Silvia to a cave where they manage to cause more chaos than they avert, leading to a startlingly abrupt ending that slams a sarcophagus lid on the whole shebang. 

The Blu-ray from The Film Detective is widescreen with an aspect ratio of 2.35 and Dolby digital sound.  English captions are available.  No extras.  The film itself is "in HD with a brand new 2K scan from a rare 35mm archival print.”  The picture quality is likely the best this film has seen since the 70s, although there's still a lot of blemishes here and there which I assume couldn't be helped. 

To be fair, many will find this film about as boring as...well, actually being a mummy.  But for those hardy souls who seek out bad movies to willingly subject themselves to, VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST may prove as pleasantly entertaining as it is woefully inept.



Release date: May 23, 2017

(Stills used are not taken from the Blu-ray disc)

VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Amazing Hospital Dance Sequence From "Freak Dance" (2010)(video)

 

Here's a rousing scene from a movie we reviewed back in 2010, which parodies those big dance numbers from Hollywood musicals aimed at "hip" young audiences. You can read our original review HERE.

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Amazing Hospital Dance Sequence From "Freak Dance" (2010)(video)

GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 12/14/20

 

One fan's cheesy low-budget monster mash is another fan's treasure.  Film Detective has taken a prime example of this, director Richard Cunha's 1958 debut feature GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN, and served both kinds of fans (including those of us who are both) with a crisp, finely-rendered restoration.

Filmed mostly on location in the rugged mountains and forests of southern California, this is the tale of a monstrous Spanish conquistador named Vargas who wakes after being frozen alive in solid rock for centuries and goes on a rampage that leaves ravaged bodies both animal and human in his wake.

Played by 6'6" actor Buddy Baer (FAIR WIND TO JAVA, QUO VADIS, AFRICA SCREAMS), brother of famed boxer Max Baer, the armor-clad behemoth sports a fearsome visage created by former Universal makeup maestro Jack Pierce and swings a deadly battle ax.

While the local sheriff (cowboy star Bob Steele, later to be a regular on the TV classic "F Troop") tries to solve the mysterious murders, archeologist Wayne Brooks (Ed Kemmer, THE SPIDER, "Space Patrol") heads into the wilderness with fellow explorer Dr. Cleveland (Morris Ankrum, ROCKETSHIP X-M, EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS) and his beautiful daughter Janet (Sally Fraser, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST, IT CONQUERED THE WORLD, THE SPIDER), where their search for ancient relics brings them frighteningly face to face with a live one.

As they inch closer to the truth behind the recent murders, Vargas follows up his killing of more townspeople by setting his sights on Janet.  This will eventually bring every able bodied man in town into the hunt for the monster, who uses his fierce strength and cunning to fight them off. The film climaxes with a furious confrontation between him and the vastly outmatched Brooks.

 

For fans of low-budget movies, this is a fascinating opportunity to observe Cunha's handling of his meager resources and limited experience (before this, he'd done mainly commercials, industrial films, and the like), and a solid cast composed largely of film veterans doing their best with an often awkward script, to turn in what is a professional-looking effort that entertains despite a slow pace and some dull spots.

Technical aspects are well-handled, with photography and camerawork especially good. Composer Albert Glasser turns in his usual wildly bombastic score. Pierce's makeup mastery creates a monster who resembles a huge stone Golem, with Baer using his wide, glaring eyes to good effect. 

 

The Blu-ray from Film Detective is a 4k transfer from the original camera negative. Bonus features include a commentary track by noted horror/sci-fi film historian and author Tom Weaver which also includes comments by Cunha and others involved in the film. There's also an illustrated booklet with additional information and trivia. Several other features are listed below.

Fans of Cunha's other films such as FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, SHE DEMONS, and MISSILE TO THE MOON will likely find this relatively modest but nicely-done effort of great interest. While B-grade at best, and only moderately exciting, GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN nevertheless remains one of those minor gems from which appreciative genre fans can derive a special kind of pleasure from watching.

 

Order it from Film Detective


Retail Price: $24.95
Release Date: 1-19-2021
Runtime: 77 minutes
Genre: CULT CLASSIC, DRAMA, HORROR
Language: English
Color/BW: BW

Also available in DVD and red-label Blu-ray

 

BONUS MATERIALS:

Audio Commentary with Author/Historian Tom Weaver and Guests; 

Audio Commentary with co-star Gary Crutcher; 

'YOU'RE A B-MOVIE STAR, CHARLIE BROWN' - An all-new interview actor/screenwriter Gary Crutcher; 

'THE MAN WITH A BADGE: BOB STEELE IN THE 1950'S' - An all-new interview with author/film historian C. Courtney Joyner; 

Collector’s booklet with still gallery and liner notes by Tom Weaver; 

Original Theatrical Trailer

GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/26/21

 

I remember reading one of those capsule-review books that deemed director Richard Cunha's 1958 monster thriller FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER so bad as to be "practically unwatchable." Well, there's no denying it's definitely bad in a variety of ways. But for those of us who happen to like that quality in certain films, "unwatchable" it certainly isn't.

Cunha's list of films also includes GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN, MISSILE TO THE MOON, and the ever-popular SHE DEMONS, all of which share a similar appeal as low-budget fare with a certain something that just makes them fun to watch despite how lacking they may be in production values and polish.

For this effort, he continues the classic "Frankenstein" saga, this time in the form of the famous scientist's unhinged grandson, Oliver (Donald Murphy), who now goes under the name "Mr. Frank." 

Oliver works as an assistant to benevolent old research scientist Prof. Morton (Felix Locher, familiar to "Star Trek" fans from the 1967 episode "The Deadly Years") but is really just using the old man's home laboratory to create an artificial being out of dead body parts as his forefathers did before him.

Meanwhile, Prof. Morton's cute teenage niece Trudy (Sandra Knight) is an unknowing test subject for Oliver, who slips her a formula that turns her into a "Miss Hyde"-type monster who runs around the neighborhood in a nightgown or bathing suit, terrorizing old ladies and such.

Her boyfriend Johnny (the great John Ashley, HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, BEACH PARTY, BRIDES OF BLOOD) scoffs at her hazy memories of being a stalking beast, as do their friends Don (Harold Lloyd, Jr., son of the famous silent film comedian) and Suzie (sexy blonde Sally Todd, a former Playboy Playmate of the Month). Suzie will eventually throw boyfriend Don over for the scheming Mr. Frank, who plans to kill her and use her head on his patchwork creature.

From this brief description alone, one gets an idea of what a crazy mixed-up story this is, made all the better by earnest performances, an often downbeat and even noirish atmosphere (some of the black and white photography is actually quite good), some wonderfully wild scenes of Trudy during her monster rampage, and one of the worst monsters of all time, big-lug actor Harry Wilson (who specialized in brawny thug types) as "Frankenstein's Daughter."

Once we're told that the late Suzie's head has been transplanted onto the body of Oliver's monster, Wilson assumes the role under a badly-applied heavy makeup complete with lipstick-smeared lips and what appears to be a nylon jumpsuit with black rubber gloves.

It's quite a sight, seeing him do a sort of robotic walk while advancing on his hapless victims who must all back away slowly enough for him to catch them.

More fun comes when Prof. Morton persuades Trudy to have a pool party to cheer her up. Here, Page Cavanaugh and His Trio perform "Daddy Bird" and "Special Date" with vocal help from Harold Lloyd Jr. while Johnny and Trudy cook hot dogs for a gang of "teens" made up of MILFs and guys who look like they have their own teenage kids.

As the police and a not-too-bright Johnny close in on Oliver's nefarious undertakings, Donald Murphy keeps things hopping with his deliciously dastardly performance. Likable Sandra Knight, who would later co-star with then-husband Jack Nicholson in THE TERROR, wanders through the film in a daze, while John Ashley is his usual awesomely faux-Elvis self.

Director Cunha, who could keep things hopping even on a rock-bottom budget, delivers a film that looks good (thanks in no small part to The Film Detective's terrific new restoration--bonus features listed below) and has enough nutty plot twists to keep us mildly agog for the full running time, especially when that wildly improbable "female" monster is stalking the screen.

Naturally, those who don't enjoy bad movies as much as us junk-film junkies may very well agree with that old assessment of FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER as "practially unwatchable." But if you do get a kick out of them, this one should be right up your dark alley.



Buy it at Amazon.com

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Full Commentary track with Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
Full Color Booklet with original essay by Author/ Historian Tom Weaver
"RICHARD E. CUNHA: FILMMAKER OF THE UNKNOWN" - A new career retrospective from Ballyhoo Motion Pictures featuring an archival interview with director Richard E. Cunha
"JOHN ASHLEY: MAN FROM THE B'S" - A new career retrospective featuring film historian C. Courtney Joyner 

Frankenstein’s Daughter
The Film Detective
Genre: Horror, Sci-Fi
Original Release: 1958 (BW)
Not Rated
Running Time: 85 Minutes
Language: English
Subtitles: English, Spanish
SRP: $24.95 (Blu-ray) / $19.95 (DVD)
Discs: 1
UPC Code:  760137658283 (Blu-ray) / 760137658191 (DVD)
Catalog #:  FB1014 (Blu-ray) / FD1014 (DVD)

FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER (1958) -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle