Just to clear things up, there ain't no dinosaurs in MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY (Severin Films, 1985), so all you Ray Harryhausen and Willis O'Brien fans can scratch that off your list of reasons why you might want to watch this movie. There aren't even any iguanas with fins glued on their backs waddling around on a tabletop jungle set.
What there is, however, might very well appeal to you anyway if you're into jungle adventures with plenty of action, violence, gorgeous babes, manly heroes, sadistic cannibals, and that always-unbeatable combination of nudity and gore.
What's more, the overracting, bad Italian-movie-style dubbing, and very low-budget filmmaking might even satisfy your bad-movie sweet tooth, although this lively effort is (a) not all that bad, and (b) by no means dull.
Those various characters include the handsome, two-fisted young paleontologist Kevin (Michael Sopkiw, BLASTFIGHTER, KILLER FISH), a venerable professor and his beautiful but reserved daughter Eva (as Susane Carvall), Viet Nam vet Capt. John Heinz (Milton Rodríguez) and his hateful ex-wife Betty (Marta Anderson, BARE BEHIND BARS).
There's also a naughty photographer and his two sexy models, and a shady pilot whose inferior flying skills plus some freak turbulence get them all stuck slogging through the jungle in the first place.
Before that, the film establishes itself as having a lighthearted streak with dinosaur bone hunter Kevin bopping around Brazil with no money but a way with the ladies. He also gets into a humorous brawl with two guys who are each two feet taller than he is, and has a sexy encounter with one of the models which is just the first taste of nudity and softcore sex that the film has to offer.
After the plane crash, he and ex-Green Beret Capt. Heinz supply the movie with its maximum daily requirement of testosterone as they battle for leadership of the ragtag group in a fight to the death that is interrupted by a cannibal attack that results in a very entertaining and somewhat colorful reduction of the sizable cast one screaming character at a time.
Of course, we get the standard sequence in which the ladies are dressed in revealing ceremonial garb and tied up in the middle of camp for some good old cannibal fun and games which include the usual horrific stuff that we've sat through the previous half of the movie to see.
This leads to an exciting escape thanks to the ever-stalwart Kevin and a frenzied pursuit through perilous jungle and raging river, with our heroes little suspecting that they're headed straight for an even more dangerous encounter with white jungle crime lord China (Andy Silas) in his secluded plantation where slaves mine diamonds and his lesbian henchwoman Myara (Gloria Cristal) helps him ravish all female captives before executing them in not-so-nice ways.
The Blu-ray from Severin Films is scanned uncut in 4k from the original negative. In addition to a trailer, Italian main titles, and some deleted scenes, the extras menu includes the very engaging "Valley Boy – Interview with Actor Michael Sopkiw" (Kevin) and "Lost in Brazil – Interview with Co-Writer Dardano Sacchetti." The special edition Blu-ray features a slipcover and different box art.
What director Michele Massimo Tarantini (as Michael E. Lemick) lacks in finesse, he more than compensates for with an ability to stage big frenetic action and mayhem by making the most of his meager budget in imaginative ways. In other words, MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY should give those receptive to such slapdash fun more than enough to tickle their funny bones.
Buy it at Severin Films
Special edition with slipcover
Special Features:
Valley Boy – Interview with Actor Michael Sopkiw
Lost in Brazil – Interview with Co-Writer Dardano Sacchetti
Deleted and Extended Scenes Reel
Trailer
Italian credits
Reversible Wrap
Exclusive Slipcover (not on standard edition)
Special edition/slipcover art:
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