TALES OF POE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/23/16

 

For Edgar Allan Poe fans, film adaptations of his works have always been a mixed bag.  Even the most faithful ones can fail to capture the author's unique essence, while others take his familiar name and story titles in completely different, often inferior directions. 

Any feature-length screenplay based on his short stories, such as in the celebrated Roger Corman films, must use Poe's ideas as a starting point to be built upon and/or padded out, for better or worse.  This is sometimes true even for the anthologies such as TALES OF TERROR and TWO EVIL EYES.

TALES OF POE (2014) is an anthology made up of three short films which, while not strictly adhering to the original stories as written, do a great job of retaining their mood and feeling--along with certain basic plot points--while offering up a wealth of fascinating surprises.  The adaptations conjure a richly atmospheric mood that combines the subtlety of Poe's prose with moments that go shockingly over the top.

 

Directors Alan Rowe Kelly (director and co-star of THE BLOOD SHED)and Bart Mastronardi, who co-wrote the screenplay with Michael Varrati, have come up with three totally fresh, creative adaptations that breathe new life into these oft-told tales without straying too far from the qualities that made them memorable in the first place.  A  once-in-a-lifetime cast of genre favorites and lavish production values (despite a low budget) help make the experience all the richer. 

"The Tell-Tale Heart" gets a sex change, with scream queen Debbie Rochon (MODEL HUNGER, THE THEATER BIZARRE) outstanding as a nurse-for-hire tending to wealthy invalid and former silent screen star Miss Lamarr (Kelly) in her spacious, museum-like estate.  Poe fans will know that the eccentric but otherwise harmless Miss Lamarr sports one blind, milky-white eye which the mentally-unstable nurse finds utterly repulsive to the point of plotting the old woman's murder in the dead of night. 

Rochon's character tells the story in flashback to her fellow inmates in an insane asylum, retaining much of Poe's original prose and adding just enough to keep things enticingly unexpected for the viewer.  Some well-rendered sex and violence also adds just the right measure of visceral impact for modern audiences.  Desiree Gould (SLEEPAWAY CAMP's "Aunt Martha") makes a strong impression as a malicious nurse.

 

Once again centering around one or two particular events that stoked Poe's imagination enough to create a story around them, "The Cask" takes the horror of being imprisoned alive behind a brick wall--while watching it being constructed brick by brick--and fleshes it out into a whole new yet equally chilling story.

This time, wealthy wine connoisseur Fortunato Montresor (Randy Jones, better known as the cowboy from The Village People) and his blowsy new bride Gogo (Alan Rowe Kelly again) are leading a flamboyant assemblage of wedding guests through his vast wine cellar when suddenly one of the women (Zoe Daelman Chlanda), a psychic, starts hugging the cold stone wall and having convulsions.  Apparently, she's foreseeing the horror that's in store for one of the newlyweds when the other proves to be, shall we say, "unfaithful."

Where "The Tell-Tale Heart" is unrelievedly Gothic and dark, "The Cask" mixes a bit more humor (nice and dry, like a good wine) with its chills, bringing to mind the "Something To Tide You Over" episode of CREEPSHOW.  Jones acquits himself very well, as do Brewster McCall as family friend Marco Lechresi and genre stalwart Susan Adriensen (PRISON OF THE PSYCHOTIC DAMNED, THE BLOOD SHED), always a pleasure to watch, as their creepy housemaid Morella.  But it's Kelly who once again impresses the most by playing the role of an overbearing woman to the point of caricature without going over.

The third and final story, "Dreams", is based on various poems by Poe and "A Dream Within a Dream" in particular.  Here, we get the most surreal and non-linear interpretation of his works in the story of a young woman (Bette Cassatt, MODEL HUNGER) whose dreamlike delirium while on her deathbed provides an endless flow of free-form imagery steeped in symbolism that's both poetic and repellent.  

Like a moribund Alice whose wonderland is the twilight world of her own life and death, The Dreamer wanders through ever-changing landscapes of her mind under the guidance of a benevolent Angel of Dreams (Caroline Williams, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2) while being plagued by an evil woman in black (Lesleh Donaldson, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, CURTAINS) who represents negativity and fear.

Even the woman's hospital room is a dark and foreboding place presided over by a scary nurse (Adrienne King of FRIDAY THE 13TH).  Other odds and ends from Poe's repertoire appear such as characters Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether.

Just as the plotless succession of images seems to be going nowhere, it's brought to a poignant conclusion thanks in part to a moving performance by Amy Steel (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2) as The Dreamer's careworn mother.

The DVD from WildEye Releasing is in widescreen with 2.0 sound. No subtitles.  Extras include a behind-the-scenes featurette, an interview with director Bart Mastronardi, some very intriguing deleted scenes, and trailers.  

The perversely delightful TALES OF POE is brilliantly rendered by all involved and serves as an excellent primer for any contemporary viewer unfamiliar with Poe who might be wondering what the big deal is.  Dark, mesmerizing, sometimes intoxicatingly nightmarish, it's absolutely top-drawer indy filmmaking which I believe many devotees of the original author will find irresistible.

JACKBOOTS ON WHITEHALL -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/22/11

 

If you ever got off to playing war with army men and action figures, JACKBOOTS ON WHITEHALL (2010) may send you right into a geeky swoon. If not, you'll either enjoy this loud, manic, corny spoof of British WWII flicks and boys' adventure stories, or wonder just what the hell you're looking at and why.

The film opens with some spectacular aerial action during the Battle of Britain.  This gives us an idea of how well co-directors Edward and Rory McHenry can stage action using puppets and some exquisitely crafted models and settings--you might swear some of it is done with stop-motion animation.  It also lets us know that the McHenrys are going to have a field day comically indulging in all the hoariest WWII cliches and caricatures they can muster.  "Rotters!  You filthy rotters!" cries one pilot as his buddy is shot down.

Things look bleak for England as the Nazis begin burrowing under the English Channel in order to strike at the heart of London.  Meanwhile, burly farm boy Chris (voiced by Ewan McGregor), who was denied admission to the military because his hands are too big, dreams of going into battle as he works the farm with his dad.
 


When the Nazis arrive in London and conquer the city, Chris musters the local townspeople to defend the homefront but is forced to flee to Scotland along with Winston Churchill (Timothy Spall repeating the role he played in THE KING'S SPEECH).  There, the ragtag group of Brits take cover behind Hadrian's Wall and prepare to fend off the advancing hordes. 

Very little of this is actually funny, but it's so raucous and audaciously executed that I found it rather fascinating to watch.  The battle sequences are particularly impressive, with tanks blowing the crap out of 10 Downing Street and other London landmarks while the Hindenberg looms menacingly overhead.  There's just as much violence as in a live-action war flick, with puppets machine-gunning each other and engaging in bloody hand-to-hand combat. 

Characters include many of the old stand-bys--the hero's beautiful heartthrob, Daisy (DIE ANOTHER DAY'S Rosamund Pike), the fiesty Vicar (Richard E. Grant), homely-but-stalwart Rutty, who leads the women's volunteer force (Pam Ferris), the rip-snortin' American flyboy Billy (Dominic West), and various other familiar character types.  Some of the voice talent perform several different roles.

The acting, as you might guess, is a little stiff.  Still, the figures are fairly well manipulated to suggest motion and their faces are articulate enough to simulate speech, eye-blinking, and the occasional change of expression (with a little help from CGI).  Chris sports the same placid, lantern-jawed look on his face throughout, while Daisy and the rest of the female characters are lovely but as blank as Barbie dolls.



The Nazis, on the other hand, are a flamboyant bunch.  Setting up residence in Churchill's former digs are a transvestite Hitler (Alan Cumming), bloated oaf Goering (Richard Griffiths), reptilian Himmler (Richard O'Brien), and a skeletal Goebbels (Tom Wilkinson) with a face right out of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" by way of the Addams Family.  Their scenes together are pure, lowbrow burlesque.

After Churchill and the gang go through the standard morale-boosting and mock-meaningful banter for awhile, the Third Reich shows up in full force and begins their attack.  Meanwhile, Chris has journeyed north to seek help from none other than Braveheart himself (who is modeled after, but isn't, Mel Gibson).  Some of their dialogue gives an indication of the film's wit:

"Braveheart!  We need your help...and your lethal weapons!"
"Would that be lethal weapon one, two, three, or four?"

Yes, I groaned, but the battle royale that follows is enough to make up for the corniest dialogue.  If anything, this carnage-packed melee is even more violent than the real BRAVEHEART, filled with enough graphic puppet gore to shock even G.I. Joe, plus a gaggle of gorgeous Nazi she-devils who unnaturally excited me in a Real Doll kind of way.  The climax of the battle is right out of INDEPENDENCE DAY, although I was absolutely aghast that the filmmakers failed to come through with the most obvious and keenly-anticipated Hindenberg gag you could imagine.

I watched a screener so I can't comment on bonus features, but the following are listed as DVD extras: behind-the-scenes footage, interviews with the creators, "Bad Day to be a Nazi", "Hitler's Rat Pack", "The Nazi Hotties", "Explosions", "Voiceovers", and a trailer. 

If you're not really buying any of this puppet stuff, then much if not all of JACKBOOTS ON WHITEHALL will likely seem draggy, pointless, even utterly ridiculous.  But I liked it.  With its fine artistic detail, creative camerawork, amusingly stupid humor, and nostalgic yet irreverent attitude, it's one puppet show that pretty much deserves to be billed above Spinal Tap.

LION OF THE DESERT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/9/13

 

For many of us, the name "Moustapha Akkad" is a long-familiar one--it's the first name you see at the beginning of the credits for HALLOWEEN. But the Syrian-born producer of John Carpenter's classic fright-fest (killed in Jordan in 2005 along with his daughter during an al-Qaeda bombing) was also an accomplished director,  and in 1981 he came up with something rather epic--a sweeping saga of Muslim desert fighters fending off Mussolini's invading military forces in 1929 Libya, and particularly their wise and brave leader Omar Mukhtar, known as LION OF THE DESERT. 

Anthony Quinn plays the grizzled old teacher-turned-warrior as you might expect, as a warm, conscientious sage of deepest humanity and highest principle whose every statement resonates like a carefully-considered quotation.

It's less a performance than it is Quinn posing for a portrait of Omar Mukhtar as reverentially painted by Akkad. 

In contrast, Oliver Reed gets to indulge his broader acting impulses as General Rodolfo Graziani, sent to Libya by Il Duce to solve the Mukhtar problem which, as the film begins, is now in its twentieth year.

Graziani is a brash, temperamental primadonna who loves being a soldier and fighting one-sided battles that allow him to demolish his opponent and be recognized as a brilliant strategist.

Reed plays the part like a passionate musician--I love to watch him act.  When he's agitated he always seems on the verge of turning into a werewolf as he did in the Hammer classic CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF.

But here, he eventually reels himself in and in doing so becomes even more fascinating to watch, whether gloating over a victory or, later, savoring each nuance in a one-on-one philosophical exchange with the captured Mukhtar.  

And he's a model of restraint compared to Rod Steiger as Mussolini, who gets to stomp around like a big baby and yell his head off to his heart's content in big, echo-y rooms (the sets in his headquarters in Rome are stunning).

However, the role of Il Duce seems to lend itself to this style of boisterous overacting--in fact, in a couple of pre-WWII comedy shorts he was portrayed by none other than superstooge Curly Howard!

The film itself qualifies as a bonafide epic thanks to some scenes of genuine visual sweep and grandeur.  This is evident mostly during the many spectacular battles but also in the sprawling concentration camp scenes as well, which feature some  emotionally-charged moments such as a young woman bravely facing the gallows as her mother (Irene Papas) hides her son's face from the sight,  or a conscience-stricken young Italian officer risking court-martial and execution himself for refusing to hang civilians.

To my delight, Gastone Moschin, the guy who played Fanucci ("The Black Hand") in THE GODFATHER PART II, gets two of the most powerful scenes--one in which he leads an invading force into an unsuspecting village with devastating results, and another in which the Bedouin defenders launch a surprise retaliation.

Raf Vallone, who was Cardinal Lamberto in THE GODFATHER PART III, is quietly effective as an Italian colonel who actually admires Omar Mukhtar and wishes to sit down and reason with him on friendly terms--as long as that reason involves his eventual concession to Italy's invasion of his country.  Also in the cast are John Gielgud and Andrew Keir.

Despite all of its good points, however, it took me a few sittings to get through LION OF THE DESERT because a lot of it isn't exactly edge-of-your-seat entertainment.  The thrilling action sequences hit fast and hard, sometimes grandly staged and with some startling stuntwork (although, unfortunately, an abundance of horse tripping).  But the story advances in fits and starts, with static dialogue scenes jumping abruptly into blazing battle sequences without warning and then back again.

Much of the first half of the film is slow and dry, at least until we become accustomed to its particular style of storytelling.  Fortunately,  I was able to gear down and begin to appreciate the subtleties of the performances and Akkad's understated but assured direction.

As for Anchor Bay's new Blu-ray release of the film, I noticed right off the bat that the opening titles were slightly compressed, which means that the 1.78:1image is, to some extant, cropped from its original aspect ratio.  This doesn't bother me all that much, but those looking for a definitive version of the film will be disappointed. 

There are also no extras and no subtitles, the latter being of special interest to me since I've become a bit hard of hearing over the years (although this is such a visual movie that the dialogue doesn't really matter all that much anyway.)  Maurice Jarre's musical score is expansive and often overpowering.

The final ten minutes or so, depicting the captured Omar Mukhtar's eventual fate at the hands of General Graziani, are most unusual for an epic movie filled with such intense battle scenes and shocking violence.  The whole thing plays out slowly, deliberately, and in almost total silence.  I was captivated and deeply moved, and I found myself mulling it over long after the closing credits began.  Whatever its faults, LION OF THE DESERT has an understated emotional power that resonates. 

Presenting -- The JOHN WAYNE/ "GREEN BERETS" Lunchbox!

Okay, this isn't a real lunchbox--we were just having a bit of fun with one of the goofier characters from John Wayne's controversial 1968 Viet Nam epic, THE GREEN BERETS. Namely, the doggedly "cute" little Vietnamese kid named "Ham Chunk" (Craig Jue) who's intended to make our heartstrings go all a-flutter.  (Click pics to enlarge.)

In the movie, Ham Chunk is an orphan who hangs around a U.S. military base deep in the combat zone and likes to play pranks on the soldiers (after which he points and utters his catchphrase, "Ha ha, you funny!")

He gets adopted by--or rather, adopts--an unconventional lieutenant named Peterson, played by Jim Hutton, who becomes his father figure.  The cuteness factor is cranked up to eleven during their scenes, especially when accompanied by film composer Miklos Rozsa's bathos-enriched "Ham Chunk" theme music.



[SPOILER] When Peterson fails to return from a dangerous mission, the kid loses it.  "Peter-san!  Peter-san!" he wails, searching desperately amongst the empty helicopters to no avail. 

It's up to the Duke to step up, take the poor kid by the hand, and lead him into the sunset (which, famously, sets in the East). [/SPOILER]

Anyway, the lunchbox may be fictitious, but we'd love to have one.  Whether in the lunchroom at school or the breakroom at work, it would make a dandy conversation piece!

[MORE SPOILERS:]

FIRE ON THE AMAZON -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/10/11

 

At first glance, FIRE ON THE AMAZON (1993) appears to be the usual Hollywood attempt to mix issues--in this case, saving the Amazon rainforest--with thriller elements.  But this Roger Corman production soon reveals itself to be nothing more than a cheesy potboiler, and not a particularly good one at that.

Craig Sheffer plays R.J. O'Brien, who's in South America covering the murder of a rainforest crusader named Santo.  R.J. is one of those renegade American photojournalists who only care about getting the story, and not about what the story means.  But we know his neutrality won't last long when he meets cutie-pie Alyssa Rothman (Sandra Bullock), a Santo supporter who looks good in tight jeans.  When an Indian is framed for the murder and later found dead in his cell, R.J. and Alyssa enlist the help of the man's brother Ataninde (Juan Fernández) in a dangerous play against the corrupt local police. 

It's hard to believe this choppy, rinky-dink action flick was directed by Luis Llosa, whose ANACONDA and THE SPECIALIST at least had a measure of competence.  Bad editing works against the film throughout, but slapdash staging and unconvincing performances are major factors as well.  Visually, it resembles something you'd see at the drive-in during the 70s.  The script, interestingly enough, is co-written by one of my favorite actresses, Corman regular Luana Anders (EASY RIDER, DEMENTIA 13).
 

The environmental angle itself is given just enough lip-service to keep the plot moving while lending the film an air of respectability.  Ultimately, however, it's no more relevant than a Western about evil cattle ranchers and corrupt sheriffs versus noble sodbusters.  It does give R.J. and Alyssa an excuse to follow Ataninde deep into the jungle, where his brother's funeral allows director Llosa to film one of those weird tribal ceremonies where the white observers are given a hallucinogenic substance and trip out.

Here, right smack-dab in the middle of this guy's funeral, Sheffer and Bullock have a wildly-inappropriate softcore sex scene that's utterly ridiculous.  I'm not just talking about bare-shouldered groping and peekaboo stuff--it's the whole everything-but-the-genitalia routine, with the two tongue-wrestling leads humping away like they're in a Penthouse video.  At this point it becomes pretty clear that we're watching a standard exploitation flick that wears its loftier aspirations like a G-string. 

As R.J., Craig Sheffer is his usual Craig Sheffer self, neither very bad nor very good--his hair actually outperforms him--while Sandra Bullock gives her standard "I can't believe she's an Oscar winner" performance.  (In one scene she expresses grave concern by holding her nose.)  Judith Chapman of "The Young and The Restless" co-stars.


There's some pretty passable shoot-em-up action here and there, and an old-fashioned cliffhanger sequence with R.J. bound to a chair next to a ticking time bomb.  Most of the castmembers are held hostage at one point or another, with a gun or knife pressed menacingly against their throats.  This happens with such regularity that in one scene it appears as though Sheffer's character is holding himself hostage.  (Okay, I'm exaggerating.) 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound and English subtitles.  The sole extra is a hilariously cheesy trailer. 

If you take FIRE ON THE AMAZON for what it is, a lively but dumb exploitation flick, you might find it somewhat entertaining.  (Especially if you just want to see Sandra Bullock naked.)  But if you're looking for a film with something genuinely important to say about the Amazon rainforest, you're barking up the wrong tree.

BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/23/09

 

 

At a stultifying 135 minutes, Keith J. Crocker's ode to grindhouse Nazi-sploitation, BLITZKRIEG: ESCAPE FROM STALAG 69 (2008), is almost twice as long as his 1997 trash classic THE BLOODY APE, but not quite as much fun to watch. Still, the more prurient among us (excluding myself, of course, heh heh) will find much to enjoy, although getting to these tidbits of titillation can be pretty slow going until the lively climax.

With the writer-director of THE BLOODY APE at the helm, BLITZKRIEG's atrocities rub shoulders with lots of goofy comedy. Charles Esser plays Helmut Schultz, the rotund commandant of the camp, like a petulant kid whose mommy didn't love him enough. Shoehorned into the same uniform that he had fifty pounds ago and sporting a German accent that would be hard for Arnold Schwarzenegger to decipher, Schultz delights in performing inhuman experiments on prisoners even as his superiors warn him of retaliation by the rapidly advancing Allied forces. His Ilsa-lite sister Frieda (Gordana Jenell) is a junior officer who also enjoys tormenting the hapless POWs.

Schultz's "pet" project is a mutant ape-man (seen only in deleted scenes) about which he boasts, "This beast will not only kill the enemy...he will rape the women, and defile the entire environment!" After a disapproving scientist nixes the project, Schultz tells his equally-corpulent toady Wolfgang (Steve Montague): "He must be blind not to realize the potential of my mighty man-ape!"

Meanwhile, burly Yank prisoner Jack Jones (Edward Yankus) is planning a daring escape with the help of his fellow inmates Lucille (Brenda Cooney), a plucky Scottish lass, and the fierce Natasha (Tatyana Kot), a Russian ball of fire whose unending torture sessions only make her more revenge-crazed and dangerous. Yankus, whose acting style consists mainly of reciting his lines without actually falling over, resembles an amusing cross between John Goodman and Al Gore. Crocker himself, as "James St. Bernard", appears as an American sad sack named "Bernard St. James."

Also joining the Allied opposition are two captured USO performers-- Marjie Kelly as 70s style jive-talkin' black mama Marjie ("Who in the hell are you two turkeys?" she asks Schultz and Wolfgang), and Tammy Dalton as a cute Southern-fried stripper named Candice, who, posing as a guard, greets an approaching Nazi with a chipper "Heil Hitler, y'all!" Kelley looks well fit in the buff, but after a brief flogging and a shower scene, she doesn't have much to do. But when sweet Candice is forced to perform her cheesy burlesque act for her jeering captors, Tammy Dalton pulls it off beautifully. It's one of the three or four really good setpieces in the film--suddenly Crocker and company are firing on all cylinders and, for a few minutes, it feels like we're watching a real movie.

For sheer, manic intensity, however, nobody in the cast can match Tatyana Kot. Her flame-haired dervish Natasha is a real treat to watch, whether she's spitting blood and screaming wild-eyed obscenities back at her torturers or running naked through the woods with a machine gun, mowing down German soldiers. In a flashback, we see her lure one of them into a bubbly bathtub for some almost-hardcore sex before gleefully castrating him, in an obvious homage to the tub scene from I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE.

Another penectomy occurs in the Nazi torture dungeon, this time in full close-up as the sadistic and sexy Dr. Zuber demonstrates to a visiting Japanese general (Wayne Chang) the best way to neutralize an unruly male prisoner. Here, the awesome Steph Van Vlack, who is the closest thing in BLITZKRIEG to a genuine "Ilsa"-type character, delivers the film's most skilled performance while once again the direction and camerawork somehow click into just the right groove. Seductive yet steely-eyed and evil, the topless Dr. Zuber playfully toys with her captive until the scene comes to a cutting end with some fake-looking but rather startling FX. After that, I'm thinking that if Crocker had made Steph Van Vlack's Dr. Zuber the main character of this movie, it would've been a lot more awesome.

Additional horrors include Natasha's incessant ordeals of bamboo shoots under the fingernails, hot branding irons, a nasty finger vise, a stretching rack, etc., plus various other male and female prisoners being violated in depraved ways. These episodes are interspersed between numerous boring dialogue sequences until finally we get to the breakout finale, where the action finally kicks into high gear. In addition to the obligatory gory revenge against the Nazis, some of the good guys also get theirs in surprising ways and there's an ironic twist or two as well. It's no spoiler to reveal that Schultz gets away, since the whole sordid tale is a flashback that he's recounting years later to a shocked priest (THE BLOODY APE's Paul Richichi), in a framing story that has its own surprise ending.

Obviously, no film made for $10,000 is going to look all that impressive, especially when it's a WWII sex-and-sadism thriller set in a Nazi prison camp. The locations are okay although some of the camp exteriors look like they were shot in somebody's backyard. Costuming and set design (by co-scripter Keith Matturro) range from semi-realistic to impressionistic, with a ragtag group of Russian POWs looking the most authentic. Crocker decided to go with the cheaper digital video instead of film this time, although his 16mm black-and-white test footage (one of the DVD's extras) looks pretty cool.

Other bonus features include an entertaining commentary track with Crocker, Matturro, Kot, and Wild Eye Releasing's Rob Hauschild, a making-of featurette called "Nazis Over Nassau", the original 16mm extended trailer "Schindler's Lust" (1995) starring THE BLOODY APE's Larry Koster, deleted scenes, a cast and crew Q & A session from the film's premiere, production stills, bloopers, trailers, and short film by Crocker entitled "Desade '88." Image and sound quality are okay, although the really bad accents rendered much of the dialogue difficult for me to make out.

Although the production values are exceedingly low, it's fun watching Keith Crocker attempt something this ambitious on such a small budget. And while it takes a bit of effort to get through this overlong and often tedious schlock epic, there are enough elements of sex, violence, and perversion--along with some pretty off-the-wall comedy--to make the trip worthwhile for fans of this bizarro brand of entertainment.

AND SOON THE DARKNESS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 12/30/10

 

One of the perennial subsets of the "thriller" genre is the story about a desperate person frantically searching for their companion who has disappeared without a trace, usually in an unfamiliar location. Whether it's a big-screen affair with major stars (THE VANISHING, BREAKDOWN) or a tense little made-for-TV nailbiter with a meager budget (DYING ROOM ONLY), such films have the potential for keeping viewers on the edge of their seats if done with a little finesse.  Once it gets cranked up, AND SOON THE DARKNESS (2010) manages to do so to a certain degree, although the experience isn't quite worth going out of your way for.

Steph (Amber Heard, ExTERMINATORS, DROP DEAD SEXY) and Ellie (Odette Yustman, OPERATION: ENDGAME, CLOVERFIELD) are two flaky American girls who have ditched their bicycle tour group and decided to see Argentina for themselves.  Wandering into the Village of Bad Vibes, they seem oblivious to the apprehensive stares of the locals who regard them as though the two cutie-pie strangers might vanish from the face of the earth at any moment.  Which, we find, isn't an uncommon occurrence in those parts.

Since their bus doesn't leave until the next morning, they decide to hit one of the local night spots.  Steph, the marginally-sensible member of the duo, is concerned when Ellie gets dopey drunk and starts prancing around in front of all the guys like she's dropping a chum line in a pool of sharks.  Acting out the song "I Touch Myself" in front of the jukebox, she then breezes into the men's room and proceeds to take a whiz in front of whoever happens to be in there.


Amazingly, this is a character we're supposed to care about.  We pretty much know what's going to happen to her, yet she's such an obnoxious, irresponsible doofus that the prospect doesn't generate much concern.  Naturally, she attracts the attention of an unsavory type who might as well wear a name tag with "Kidnapped American Girls 'R' Us" printed on it.

One thing leads to another, and before you know it Steph is searching high and low for her missing friend.  Naturally, the local constable, Calvo (César Vianco) scoffs at her concerns, forcing Steph to start scouring the countryside on her own.  Enter Michael (Karl Urban, STAR TREK), an American who seems to turn up everywhere she goes.  Michael offers to help, but we're never sure if he's on the level or if he's going to turn out to be in league with the kidnappers.  This makes his character one of the few things about the story that isn't totally predictable. 

Urban does his usual solid acting job, but the actresses portraying Steph and Ellie aren't going to be mistaken for Dame Judi Dench anytime soon.  Their wafer-thin dialogue isn't much to listen to either, especially during the silly spat which causes them to unwisely split up in the first place.  Amber Heard manages to carry the lightweight film pretty much on her own--she appears in nearly every scene--using a variety of pained expressions while frequently rubbing her hands over her head to denote concern.
 

Director Marcos Efron does a workmanlike job and wrings as much suspense out of the script as he can while capturing some nice Argentine scenery along the way.  The highlight is a sequence filmed inside an actual ghost town called Lago Epecuén, which was destroyed by a flood and consists entirely of gutted ruins.  Somewhat implausibly, it takes Steph about ten minutes to find this place and stumble onto the kidnappers' hideout.  This sets into motion a series of fights, chases, standoffs, and narrow escapes leading to a fairly exciting finish.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  Extras consist of a commentary track with the director, editor, and DOP, a making-of featurette, deleted scenes, and a trailer.

AND SOON THE DARKNESS is based on a 1970 British film written by Brian Clemens and Terry Nation and directed by Robert Fuest, which I'd be interested in seeing now that I've watched the passable but unexceptional remake.  It's the kind of time-waster that can hold your attention till the fadeout, then vanish from your memory without a trace.

ALICE UPSIDE DOWN -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/11/08

 

I've gotten quite a few DVDs to review for this site that I normally wouldn't watch in a million years, and so far I've been pretty lucky in that not only did most of them not suck, but I've actually found some to be quite enjoyable. The latest in this series is the preteen angst comedy ALICE UPSIDE DOWN (2007), whose kiddie-hip bubblegum packaging and "coming of age" synopsis had me cringing in fear. Would my lucky streak of non-totally-horrible movies continue? In a word--yes. In fact, this is one of the most entertaining family-friendly films I've seen in a long time.

Alice (Alyson Stoner, CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN) is a sixth grader moving to a new town along with her widowed father, Ben (Luke Perry) and older brother Lester (HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL's Lucas Grabeel). Fraught with insecurities while trying to fit in at her new school, she misses her mother terribly and yearns for a female role model in her life. Ben tries his best as a single dad and struggles to help Alice with her problems while tentatively re-entering the dating scene. Lester, meanwhile, is an affably laidback slob whose social life benefits from his membership in a popular local band called the Naked Nomads.

The very likable Alyson Stoner, with her non-glamorous looks and natural acting style, is terrific in her first starring role as Alice. She plays the character with a subtle realism that's lacking from many films of this type, and is helped by a screenplay refreshingly free of slapstick, forced "hip"-ness, and empty razzle-dazzle. Her attempts to make friends while suffering from one embarrassing blunder after another are just the sort of thing that both kids and adults can identify with.

The fact that Alice often has flashy wish-fulfillment fantasies in which she's beautiful, stylish, and wildly popular seems at first to be an intrusive gimmick, but this is used sparingly and is done in a way that I could relate to. Her habit of speaking directly to the camera to express her inner thoughts is also well-handled. Sometimes what she says is a little on-the-nose, but younger viewers may benefit from having things spelled out for them now and then.

The subtle humor comes from comparatively realistic situations. Alice is trying on new school clothes in a store, and when she opens a dressing room door there's a boy her age standing there in his underwear. Horribly embarrassed, she not only finds that the same boy goes to her school but that she's now known as "the Peeping Tom." Later, when she auditions for a school play, her off-key caterwauling is ridiculed by everyone and her appearance in a minor role during the play's premiere is a disaster. It's the same kind of stuff that happens to most kids, and it's believably done.

Alice sets her sights on a beautiful young teacher named Miss Cole (Ashley Drane) as her perfect female role model and potential new mom, but ends up stuck in the class of the school's most dreaded teacher, Mrs. Plotkin (Penny Marshall). Here, of course, Alice learns that first impressions aren't always correct, and that sometimes the unlikeliest people are the ones who make the biggest difference in our lives. I'm not a big Penny Marshall fan, but she's surprisingly good here, playing the part with a lot more warmth and depth than you usually get from her.

As Ben, Luke Perry proves that he's settling into older roles quite well and is convincing as the well-meaning dad. Lucas Grabeel gets to play Alice's older brother Lester as easygoing and clumsily supportive of her, which is a nice change from the usual insensitive dolt. The rest of the kids' roles are well-cast, especially Bridgit Mendler as a Little Miss Perfect type who causes Alice constant grief by effortlessly excelling at everything.

To my great relief, this film has none of the usual MTV-style camerawork and editing, over-precocious child actors spewing artificial dialogue and cracking snarky jokes, or mawkish sentimentality. Alice cries only once in the whole movie and it comes at just the right time to be effective. Based on Phyllis Reynolds Naylor's book The Agony of Alice, the screenplay strikes just the right tone throughout while the direction and photography have the polished look of one of the better Disney Channel films.

The DVD image is 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, with Dolby 5.1 and 2.0 surround sound. Extras include brief interviews with Alyson Stoner and Lucas Grabeel, both of whom seem just as likable off-camera as on, a look at the film's costuming, and trailers for this and four other Anchor Bay kid-vids. The end credits contain some bloopers.

If you're looking for a family film that will keep everyone entertained while unobtrusively teaching the kids a few valuable lessons about life, you could do a lot worse. And if you normally don't like this kind of movie but find yourself watching ALICE UPSIDE DOWN for some unlikely reason, you just may end up enjoying it as much as I did.

 

THE LOVE GOD? -- Movie Review by Porfle

(This is part four of my look at the "Don Knotts Reluctant Hero Pack", a two-sided DVD containing four of Don's best-known movies: THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, and THE LOVE GOD?)


In THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, and THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, we got to see Don Knotts' nervous-guy character face his biggest fears and triumph over them in the end. But in THE LOVE GOD? (1969), he finally faces his biggest fear of all...S-E-X.

Don's previous films all skittered around the subject of sex, but in a non-overt, family-friendly way. THE LOVE GOD?, on the other hand, is obsessed with the subject. In fact, it almost plays like a psychic prediction of Larry Flynt's famous First Amendment difficulties, as Don plays the owner of a bankrupt birdwatching magazine who is duped by unscrupulous pornographer Osborn Tremaine (the great Edmond O'Brien) into serving as the figurehead for a dirty magazine because Tremaine has just been legally stripped of mailing privileges for his own porno mag. At first horrified by what he's gotten himself into, Don's character (Abner Audubon Peacock IV, of "The Peacock" magazine) soon find himself hailed by the public as a fearless crusader for the First Amendment and the sexual revolution.


Which, of course, doesn't sit well with the folks back home, including the congregation of the church where Abner's virtuoso birdcall performance is a highlight of the annual choir recital (Don's rendition of this is absolutely priceless), and the reverend's ever-faithful daughter Rose Ellen (Maggie Peterson) patiently waits for her beloved Abner to return and pop the question. Meanwhile, Abner keeps getting in deeper and deeper, as feared mob boss J. Charles Twilight (B.S. Pully) takes an active interest in "The Peacock" magazine, and aspiring journalist Lisa LaMonica (Anne Francis, FORBIDDEN PLANET, "Honey West"), who has been chosen to run the magazine and turn Abner into an international sex symbol, takes an increasingly active interest in him.

There's a lot of funny stuff in this movie, but is it a proper Don Knotts movie? Not according to what's gone before. His other offerings were innocuous, family-friendy fare that, while flirting with the subject of sex at times in a general way, were still wholesome and innocent enough to be enjoyed by the entire family. THE LOVE GOD?, on the other hand, plays like one long, smutty, third-grade joke, and the joke's on Don. We've always been happy to laugh with his characters, but here, we're urged to laugh at him--the prim, straight-laced, trembling virgin who is afraid of women and terrified of sex. While his previous three films remain unrated (but would probably each get a G), THE LOVE GOD? is rated PG-13--not quite what most of Don's fans would be expecting from one of his movies. So who's this movie made for? Don Knotts fans who have been patiently suffering through his previous films waiting for more T & A?

On the plus side, Don is in fine form here, making the most of what the script impels him to do. His first performance of the birdcall recital is sublime, but later in the film when he fears that mobster J. Charles Twilight has come to whack him, his frantic, screwed-up rendition of the same piece is hilarious. It's also fun to see him trying to function as a Hugh Hefner/Bob Guccione type, strutting around town in horrendous mod outfits with an entourage of beautiful women, in a series of delightfully retro 60s-camp situations. But when Anne Francis' Lisa LaMonica starts taking advantage of his sexual inexperience to manipulate him, the sweetly-innocent Don Knotts character finally begins to lapse into the pathetic.


Part of the reason for this is that Jim Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum, the veteran "Andy Griffith Show" writers who handled the scripts for Don's previous three films, are missing here, and writer-director Nat Hiken just doesn't seem to fully understand what makes Knotts tick as a screen presence. Sure, he's a coward, and he sinks to the depths of despair before the film's final act (especially when Lisa LaMonica tricks him into thinking he's had sex with her, which spoils his chances to marry the pristine Rose Ellen), but there's no cathartic triumph over his fears that redeems his character in the end. What--is he supposed to triumph over his fear of sex? The only victory Abner Peacock has here is when he finally punches J. Charles Twilight in the nose. It's only through sheer happenstance that Abner ends up living happily-ever-after at the end of THE LOVE GOD?, and that's just not the way it should be.

Taken as a smutty sex comedy, though, THE LOVE GOD? does have its pleasures. As a fan of the voluptuous Maureen Arthur (HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING, HOW TO COMMIT MARRIAGE), I find it delightful that her role as Osborn Tremaine's wife and chief model for his magazine affords her the opportunity to parade around in sexy outfits and pose for wonderfully lewd photographs. Holy mackerel, she was so incredibly sexy that I just get giddy watching her--and she was funny to boot. Abner's "Pussycats" are nice to look at, too, but they don't make that much of an impression, especially next to a wildly-mugging Don Knotts. Anne Francis, of course, is a certified babe from way back, but in this movie she just tries too doggone hard to be funny and sexy, and generally just comes off looking silly.

One of the funniest things about the movie, in fact, is seeing mobster J. Charles Twilight taking instruction from retired schoolteacher Miss Love (Jesslyn Fax, THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN), whom he has hired to teach him "class." From her, he learns the error of saying "Me and Nutsy Herman got the contract to go to upstate New York to knock off Big-Nose Schlossburg...", as he writes in his assigned theme, instead of the correct "Nutsy Herman and I." She also teaches him a new word every day, such as "fastidious" and "prerogative", which he awkwardly shoehorns into his speech at every opportunity.

With the marked absence of writers Fritzell and Greenbaum, there's not much of an "Andy Griffith Show" connection here, with the exception of the church choir singing a hysterical version of "Juanita"--Barney Fife's self-written ode to his girlfriend at the Bluebird Diner--and the casting of Maggie Peterson (who played man-hungry hillbilly Charlene Darling) as Rose Ellen. As usual, there's a fine assortment of familiar faces all over the place, such as James Gregory (who seems to relish his role as Abner's defense attorney and makes the most of it), Don Knotts stock players Jim Boles and Jim Begg, James Westerfield as Rose Ellen's father Reverend Wilkerson, Herbie Faye, and Bob Hastings. And once again, Vic Mizzy supplies a suitably lighthearted musical score.

But on the whole, THE LOVE GOD? suffers in comparison to Don Knotts' earlier films, because the people who made it just didn't seem to understand his film persona--or else they thought it would be funny to pervert it and turn the character into a pitiful, emasculated butt of cheap sex jokes. So while there's much to enjoy in this movie--no Don Knotts film could possibly be entirely without its pleasures--it certainly doesn't do justice to his established screen character. Imagine Thelma Lou making fun of Barney Fife for having a tiny "you-know-what." That's THE LOVE GOD? in a nutshell.

THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST -- Movie Review by Porfle

(This is part three of my look at the "Don Knotts Reluctant Hero Pack", a two-sided DVD containing four of Don's best-known movies: THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, and THE LOVE GOD?)

The years 1966-68 saw the appearance of three Don Knotts comedies in quick succession--THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, and 1968's THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST--each of which dealt with Don's nervous-guy character by placing him in hazardous situations that forced him to somehow overcome his natural cowardice. In the latter entry, he was swept all the way back to the rip-roarin' Old West of 1870, complete with gunslingers, outlaws, and marauding Indians. Which, I would think, would be a pretty nerve-wracking place for a coward to be.

Don plays Jesse W. Haywood (a nod to Don's actual name, Jesse Donald Knotts), a dentist whose dream is to spread dental health throughout the West. After a rib-tickling main titles song by The Wilburn Brothers, the film gets off to a rousing start as we see Jesse trying to examine a fiercely-unwilling patient, Miss Stevenson, during his final "pass-or-fail" dentistry exam, which turns into a UFC-style fist-flying brawl. "How's it going, Haywood?" asks rival dental student Phelps ("Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"'s Greg Mullavey, in one of this film's few running gags), to which Jesse responds "Fine...just fine" even as his fingers are being chomped. Once he gets his diploma, he bids a tearful farewell to his mother (Ruth McDevitt), then hops a train and it's westward ho.

Meanwhile, the notorious bandit Penelope "Bad Penny" Cushings (Barbara Rhoades) has just been captured after a long career of cattle rustling, stagecoach robbing, etc. But the sheriff (Ed Peck) offers her a deal--she must go undercover and travel West on a wagon train suspected of carrying smugglers who are supplying rifles to the Indians, and if she discovers their identity and nabs them, she'll get a pardon. But there's a catch--no unaccompanied women are allowed on the wagon train, and the agent who was to pose as her husband (John Wayne stock player Ed Faulkner) just got killed. So she needs to find a husband fast. Guess who she picks? Right--the duded-up, derby-wearing "tender ninny" (as she sneeringly refers to him during their first encounter), Jesse.

Her seduction of Haywood, when she comes to him for a feigned dental complaint and lets her cleavage do the talking, is still high on my short list of things that jump-started my puberty. Whether dressed in denim and rawhide and packing six-guns, or tarted up like a dancehall girl, Barbara Rhoades made my hormones yell "Yee-haaa!" But enough of my personal problems...

On the way West, the wagon train is attacked by Indians. Penny secretly disposes of them all, but Doc Haywood mistakenly thinks he's the big Indian fighter. So as soon as they get into town, he buys the standard black gunfighter outfit and goes swaggering around, revelling in his new status as a dead-shot Indian fighter. But the rifle smugglers (Don "Red" Barry and "The Addams Family"'s Uncle Fester, Jackie Coogan) hire a feared gunfighter named Arnold the Kid to challenge Doc Haywood to a shootout. Can you guess what happens?

Finally the truth comes out and Jesse realizes he's been duped, which leads to a great "Don gets drunk" scene in the local saloon. But just as things look their worst, Penny is kidnapped by the rifle smugglers and taken to a nearby Indian camp, and Jesse realizes he's her only hope. So he sobers up, straps on his six-gun, and goes to her rescue, resolving to save her from the bad guys even if it means dressing up as an Indian maiden and getting hit on by some horny Indian dudes. And when she finds out how brave he really is, Penny at last finds herself smitten by the "tender ninny", giving hope to all of us nerds who always dreamed of having the hottest babes in school fall for us somehow.

Once again, the cast is populated with familiar faces. Jim Begg of THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN reappears as a deputy who lives for excitement ("I just love this kinda stuff!" he exclaims in another running gag). The great Carl Ballantine ("McHale's Navy") and a surprisingly-young Pat Morita play storekeepers who cheat Jesse out of his every last cent as he attempts to equip himself for the journey West. Frank McGrath of THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT reappears as one of the people on the wagon train. MASH's William Christopher shows up as a hotel clerk, Eddie Quillan (the elevator operator from THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN) is a train porter, and Burt Mustin makes his third straight appearance in a Don Knotts comedy. Legendary character actor Dub Taylor even shows up as Penny's outlaw accomplace early on, before he decides to go to Boston to open up a little dress shop.

As in Don's previous two flicks, James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum ("The Andy Griffith Show", THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT) are involved in the screenplay, along with Edmund L. Hartmann and the redoubtable Frank Tashlin, in this update of Bob Hope's classic comedy THE PALEFACE. Vic Mizzy is on hand once again to provide an appropriately lighthearted musical score. THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN'S Alan Rafkin ably directs. And aside from Fritzell and Greenbaum, the "Andy Griffith Show" connection here includes an appearance by Hope "Clara Edwards" Summers.

A worthy addition to the Don Knotts oeuvre, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST is an endlessly fun romp that should please his fans. It's Don Knotts at his best, and that's pretty much as good as it gets.

THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT -- Movie Review by Porfle

(This is part two of my look at the "Don Knotts Reluctant Hero Pack", a two-sided DVD containing four of Don's best-known movies: THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, and THE LOVE GOD?)

Following on the heels of Don Knotts' previous comedy success, 1966's THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT (1967) continues the adventures of Don's patented nervous-guy character, who always seems to find himself in situations that stretch his jangled nerves to the limit and force him to act beyond his normal capabilities in order to succeed. And what better way to do that than to strap him into a rocket and shoot him into outer space?

This time Don plays Roy Fleming, a nervous type (naturally) who is so terrified of heights that he "can't even get up on a chair to get the marmalade." He runs a modest little outer-space ride in a local amusement park, pretending to be an astronaut and taking the kids on space adventures in a mock-up rocketship. But his father, Buck (Arthur O'Connell), a WWI hero with big dreams for his son, keeps sending in his astronaut application to NASA. And one day, the Flemings receive a shocking letter--Roy's been accepted!

The prospect of being dozens of miles off his beloved terra firma terrifies Roy, but it also helps him win over the girl he's got the hots for, Ellie Jackson (Joan Freeman), who runs a concession stand in the amusement park, and raises him to the upper reaches of his father's estimation at long last. But when Roy gets to NASA, he discovers that he hasn't been accepted as a prospective astronaut after all, but as a janitor. And not even that--he's an apprentice janitor.


At this point, it's too late to tell the truth to his proud parents and all his admiring friends back home, so he keeps up the charade for as long as he can--until one day when his father and a couple of his old pals show up for an unexpected visit. Abandoning his mop, Roy hastily dons a space suit, gives the guys a highly scientifically-inaccurate tour of the space facility, destroys a rocket sled, and gets fired in front of his father. But just as it appears that Roy must slink home in disgrace, an amazing development occurs--the Russians send a dentist into outer space in order to prove the infallibility of their automated rocket ship. So NASA decides to respond by putting the most inexperienced person they can think of into orbit. Which, of course, turns out to be Roy.

THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT repeats various elements set into motion way back on "The Andy Griffith Show" and continued in THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN. Don Knotts plays a cowardly failure who gets his big chance to succeed and rises to the occasion, winning the affections of the hottest babe in town along the way, and gets plenty of chances to play his nervous-guy character to the hilt. There's a drunk scene (this didn't happen in GHOST, but Barney Fife was always accidentally getting drunk, remember?), and it's always fun to watch Don get gassed. He has a big brother-type friend who, like Sheriff Andy Taylor, looks out for him and helps bolster his ego--this time it's Major Fred Gifford, a famous astronaut who befriends Roy and suggests him as the perfect candidate for the upcoming space shot.

There are running gags--people are always posing for Rush (Paul Hartman) to take their picture but his camera never works, Roy is always being urged to "do a countdown" ("Three, two, one...puh-KEWWW!") and, whenever his loved ones see him off at the airport, the acrophobic Roy sneaks away to catch a bus instead, etc. The script is written by "Andy Griffith Show" vets James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum, who also wrote GHOST and knew how to bring out the best in Don Knotts. And Vic Mizzy contributes another of his pleasantly goofy comedy scores.

Once again, the capable supporting cast is dotted with great familiar faces. Arthur O'Connell and Jeanette Nolan play his parents, while Frank McGrath ("Wooster" the cook on TV's "Wagon Train") and Paul Hartman ("Emmitt the Fix-It Man" on the later Griffith show episodes) are funny and endearing as Buck Fleming's friends. Jesse White (the "Maytag repairman" for those old enough to remember) is Roy's unforgiving janitorial boss, and Burt Mustin, Guy Raymond, and Nydia Westman are on hand as well. Familiar child star Pamelyn Ferdin even makes a brief appearance as a little girl who has to go to the bathroom during Roy's space ride ("We have just touched down!" he abruptly announces). But the biggest surprise, for those familiar with Leslie Nielsen only as a comedian, will be seeing him playing straight man to Don's character. He's very likable here as the dashing Major Gifford, but nowadays he'd be the one getting the laughs.

THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT isn't quite the all-round success that THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN was a year earlier, but it's still very enjoyable in a low-key way, and family-friendly without being sappy or saccharine. There are even a couple of fairly emotional scenes between Don and Arthur O'Connell as father and son that are nicely handled. The best part, though, is when Roy Fleming makes it to outer space (complete with some endearingly hokey special effects) only to have everything go wrong. In a delightful turn of events, he is able to astound Major Gifford and the other guys at mission control by falling back on his old space-ride character in order to save the day--which is just the sort of thing that makes a Don Knotts movie so much fun to watch.

THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN -- Movie Review by Porfle

(This is part one of my look at the "Don Knotts Reluctant Hero Pack", a two-sided DVD containing four of Don's best-known movies: THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN, THE RELUCTANT ASTRONAUT, THE SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST, and THE LOVE GOD?)

When three-time Emmy winner Don Knotts left his role as the beloved deputy Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show" for a career in movies, THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN (1966) was his second starring role (the first was THE INCREDIBLE MR. LIMPET, a mix of animation and live-action that appeared two years earlier). And, as many of his fans will probably agree, the second was the best, as this is probably still the mostly fondly-remembered movie Don ever made--especially if you first saw it when you were a kid.

One reason for this is that his character, Luther Heggs, is the closest one to Barney Fife that Don ever played in a film. He wears the same old suit and hat, lives in a small town just like Mayberry, and has several of the same characteristics--he's a coward who manages to do brave things when the chips are down, he likes to brag and bask in the attention of others, and he claims to know karate ("My whole body's a weapon" he brags, a quote right out of "The Andy Griffith Show").

Luther is a typesetter for the local newspaper but he dreams of becoming a reporter. So when he's offered the chance to write a big story by spending a night in the old Simmons place, a spooky mansion which most of the townspeople are convinced is haunted, he jumps at the chance. (He's chosen for the job because the paper's owner, played by Dick Sargent, wants somebody with a wild imagination who's also a bit of a kook.)


So, on the anniversary of the night twenty years earlier when Old Man Simmons murdered his wife and then ran up to the organ loft to play maniacal music on a huge pipe organ before throwing himself out the window to his death, Luther enters the house with nothing but a flashlight, a sleeping bag, and a severe nervous condition. Several things happen to seriously spook him out: he jumps when he suddenly sees himself in a mirror, a dressmaker's dummy casts an eerie shadow on the wall, and an old Victrola starts playing by itself (this part is reminiscent of a similar scene in THE EVIL DEAD--maybe Sam Raimi's a Don Knotts fan).

But when Luther beds down for the night on an old couch, the real fun begins--he hears footsteps and clinking chains, followed by crazed laughter which seems to be coming from the organ loft. Creeping upstairs, he finds the cobweb-covered pipe organ, with bloodstains still on the keys. And at the stroke of midnight, the organ begins playing by itself. Practically jumping out of his skin, Luther hightails it downstairs where he finds the portrait of Mrs. Simmons with a pair of gardening shears stuck in her throat and blood gushing from the wound. That's when he passes out.

Luther's night in the Simmons place is the centerpiece of the film, although it happens fairly early on. It generates the rest of the events that take place, which include Luther's being hailed as a town hero, landing the girl of his dreams, and finally being sued for libel by the Simmons' nephew Nick, who is in town trying to have the mansion bulldozed to the ground and its memory erased. The final third of the film follows the trial, and then a return by all involved to the Simmons place to determine whether or not anything supernatural is really going on there.

The story is fun and involving all the way thanks to veteran "Andy Griffith Show" writers James Fritzell and Everett Greenbaum, who penned some of that series' best episodes. Some wonderful running gags keep popping up, such as the "Attaboy" guy who is never seen but always heard ("Attaboy, Luther!" "Attaboy, judge!") and Mrs. Cobb (Nydia Westman), the old lady from Luther's boarding house who is forever amazed by the fact that no one was ever able to wash the bloodstains off the organ keys ("And they used Bon Ami!" is her frequent catchphrase).

There's the elevator operator (Eddie Quillan) who can never stop the elevator level with any floor (which results in a hilarious sight gag), and local cop Herkie (Jim Begg), who takes his job a little too seriously. The rest of the cast is filled with an almost endless list of familiar faces, including Burt Mustin, Harry Hickox, and two unbilled "Andy Griffith Show" regulars, Hal Smith and Hope Summers.

But the main reason this movie is so much fun to watch is its star, Don Knotts. Whether he's improbably winning the affections of the most voluptuous babe in town, Alma Parker (November 1958's Playmate Of The Month, Joan Staley), or confronting his bitter rival, Alma's erstwhile boyfriend and ace reporter Ollie Weaver (the great Skip Homier), we're pulling for him all the way. I can't imagine not being a Don Knotts fan, but for those of us who are, his performance in this film is awesome. This is Don at his nervous, blustery best, and he plays the role like a virtuoso--putting his high-strung character in the middle of such blood-chilling supernatural goings-on was an ideal choice and Don makes the most of it. He's well-served by veteran comedy director Alan Rafkin, who also helmed Andy Griffith's ANGEL IN MY POCKET (1969) as well as numerous classic TV sitcom episodes, and composer Vic Mizzy, here contributing one of his most memorable comedy scores.

I first saw this movie during a Saturday afternoon matinee in a theater filled with other wildly enthusiastic kids, which is still one of my most fondly-remembered communal moviegoing experiences. It doesn't scare me anymore like it used to (although there are a few pretty good shocks), but THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN is still a joy to watch and, along with "The Andy Griffith Show", remains the perfect Don Knotts vehicle and the best way for kids and adults alike to appreciate his unique talent. Attaboy, Don!

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 9/15/10

 

As one of the shocked and terrified viewers who sat in the dark watching NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) during its first run, I found the concept of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED-- that is, the entire film reinterpreted piecemeal by a variety of graphic artists, along with the original soundtrack--to be irresistibly intriguing. My initial viewing of this disjointed and sometimes off-puttingly crude curio was, unfortunately, a disappointment.

However, once I realized that the film is intended as a sort of kinetic art gallery rather than a cohesive narrative, and that it's more of a fan-contributor project (by organizer-curator Mike Schneider) than the polished work of professional artists and animators, I was able to relax my expectations and begin to appreciate some of the various artistic renderings of all those familiar images. One thing's for sure, though--a scene-by-scene knowledge of the original film is necessary to make sense of this collaborative reimagining. Try to watch it first, and you'll probably have no idea what the hell's going on.

The term "reanimated" is a bit misleading, since much of the film consists of still images. Some resemble comic book panels, some hastily-drawn storyboards, and some merely sketches and scribbles. Occasionally you get some pretty nice work, much of which is done in the style of the old underground comics of the 60s and 70s or the earlier EC horror comics. There's a nice series of portraits of Barbra which are amateurish-looking but expressive, as she relates to Ben the story of what happened to her and Johnny in the cemetary. Her discovery of the music box brings another interesting series of images.

The segments that are actually animated are a real grab bag of wildly-uneven quality and tone. Some scenes resemble pre-"Goldeneye" videogame technology and are interesting in their own strange way. Others, such as Barbra first seeking shelter in the farmhouse and the final zombie attack, are done using claymation that is so crude it makes Art Clokey look like Ray Harryhausen. A long segment of Ben and Barbra boarding up the house looks like something out of a Bizarro "South Park" episode.

Sequences switch between digitally manipulated still drawings, animated stick figures, pictures with actual talking mouths superimposed "Clutch Cargo" style, and even abstract images consisting of moving shapes filled with writhing squiggles. (The latter segments, more than any others, necessitate a familiarity with the original film lest the viewer be totally lost.) The early scene of Barbra and Johnny's arrival in the cemetary uses actual actors who are animated a la Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer" video. My least favorite moments are the ones in which actual footage from the original film is merely altered in some way.

With its emphasis on artistic expression and variety, NOTLD: REANIMATED sacrifices not only the original's narrative flow but often its grim attempts to scare us as well. This is especially true when one familiar fright sequence is rendered, believe it or not, in a cartoon style resembling "Ren and Stimpy" and "Itchy and Scratchy", with cats as the zombies and mice as the terrified humans. Several other contributions are aimed at being more amusing than scary, with sock puppets and even Muppets taking part in the carnage.

Even Barbie dolls get in on the action at times, particularly in the cellar scene with Harry and Helen Cooper. Watching these dolls being hand-manipulated in real time isn't all that interesting, although the miniature sets are nice. There is, however, one sublime moment--the famous "jump cut", which George Romero says he simply couldn't edit his way around, is faithfully reproduced.

The DVD from Wild Eye is in 1.33:1 full screen and runs 101 minutes including the introduction by horror host Count Gore De Vol. As with other Wild Eye DVDs I've seen, there are numerous special features. These include three commentary tracks, alternate and deleted scenes, some short horror films and comics, interviews with some of the film's main contributors, NOTLD coloring book contest entries, a look at the extensive NOTLD box art collection of Wild Eye's Rob Hauschild, and "Zombie Encounter", a lengthy panel discussion on zombie films with Hauschild, authors John Joseph Adams, Jonathan Maberry, and Dr. Kim Paffenroth, and other notables. Various other interesting tidbits round out the extras menu.

"Over 100 artists--over 100 styles" claims the liner notes on the DVD box, and you won't doubt it after being assaulted by this sometimes boring, yet curiously fascinating conglomeration of disparate images. You may not like it even after giving it a thoughtful second viewing as I did, but if you're a fan of George Romero's original classic, you owe it to yourself to take a stroll through the oddball cinematic art museum that is NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: REANIMATED. It's definitely a unique experience.