CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/22/10

 

 

After spending years glued to the 24-hour TV-news networks and bending my ears with hours upon hours of talk radio--and agonizing over every sordid detail of each late-breaking political train wreck as it came screaming off the presses--I finally just turned it all off and started enjoying life again. For awhile, anyway. It's been nice.

So what do I find myself reviewing today? CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY (2009), the latest muckraking documentary by left-wing gadfly Michael Moore. Gaa!!!

Well, I'm not going to get into politics today because I used up my last good nerve on that stuff years ago. Instead, I'll try to focus on the film's entertainment value and watchability. First off, Moore starts the ball rolling with a promo clip for Hershell Gordon Lewis' BLOOD FEAST, with Bill Kerwin warning young, impressionable, and heart-attack-prone viewers to steer clear of the impending feature. That's worth some nostalgia points right there. Unfortunately, it makes me want to watch BLOOD FEAST.

Moore's film, however, is pretty scary itself. It's a scathing indictment of how capitalism and free enterprise in America have long been corrupted by the rich and powerful for their own greedy purposes while us Joe and Jane Six-Packs get the shaft. Part of Moore's method is to show us some of those awesome 50s educational films that are so delightfully square and full of crewcuts and horn-rims, and contrast their chipper naivete' with contemporary horror stories of families getting thrown out of their homes, factory workers being fired en masse, and airline pilots on food stamps.

The old "American dream vs. American nightmare" stuff works every time, especially when it's accompanied by dramatic Beethoven music. Moore's goal is to make you scared, sad, and outraged, and also to make you laugh--an emotional smorgasbord. With deft editing of stock film and music, plus his own manipulative documentary footage and slanted observations, the filmmaker creates a chunky visual goulash that would have Bela Lugosi shouting "Pool da strink!"

Naturally, Moore is able to gleefully avail himself of clips from old Ronald Reagan movies, which is convenient since most of our Republican presidents didn't start out as B-movie actors. So we get to see Ronnie whipping out his six-shooter on the unions or slapping a woman around while Moore chides "Take that, feminists!" or whatever. Not exactly a strict documentary approach, but as comedy it scores on a MST3K level. Later, a clip of George W. Bush giving a doom-and-gloom speech on the economy is made hilarious with the digital addition of screaming people fleeing in terror in the background while the White House is beseiged by earthquakes, tornadoes, and monsters. Funny stuff, in an Adult Swim sort of way.

Interview segments are interspersed throughout, some (politicians, financial experts) more relevant that others (actor Wallace Shawn). Moore also recruits a few religious figures to solemnly explain to us why capitalism itself is inherently evil--refraining, as one might guess, from consulting any who might express a differing view. Most effective are the accounts of downtrodden victims of a crumbling economy, and a few minutes spent with his own father on the site of a razed factory back in Flint, Michigan where he once worked adds to the often melancholy tone.

Moore goes for the heartstrings in these segments, plucking away with sad accounts of personal tragedy and hardship caused by corporate greed. You can't help but be moved by shots of little kids crying and people finding out the hard way that refinancing their homes probably wasn't such a good idea when the cops start breaking the door down. Some revelations are guaranteed to outrage, such as the concept of "Dead Peasants" insurance, which is the practice of taking out life-insurance policies on employees so that a company profits by their death. Recaps of high-profile scandals and evidence of deep-rooted government corruption are also sure to make you feel either angry or depressed, or both. Not to mention powerless.

But then, of course, we're back to the classic Michael Moore schtick of him trying to wedge a film crew through the front door of a gleaming corporate fortress so that some fat, overworked security shlub will have to come out and deal with them. This is what Michael Moore fans love to see--the cavorting troublemaker "sticking it to" the bad guys with nought but his disruptive and rebelliously unkempt presence. "I'm making a citizen's arrest!" he yells into a megaphone at a building. Or he backs a rented armored truck up to the door and demands that the fat cats cowering under their desks return their billions in bailout money to the taxpayers. Or simply wraps the building in yellow crime scene tape.

Moore got a taste for this kind of street theater with ROGER AND ME, and, useless as it may be, loves to perform it for us while "documenting" it. And, of course, it's fun to watch in the same way it was fun whenever David Letterman used to go down to GE headquarters to stir up a little trouble with the suits.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen and Dolby Digital 5.1 with English and Spanish subtitles. Extras include a substantial ten featurettes and two trailers.

The picture begins with a "what if"--what if we'd listened to Jimmy Carter (aka "Debbie Downer") back in 1979?--and ends with the comforting assurance that President Obama will wisely and selflessly strive to put things right again. Do I buy everything Michael Moore says? No. Does CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY accurately expose the evil machinations of a bunch of greedy, insanely wealthy bastards who play with our economy, and our lives, like it was their own private crap game? Yes. Does it make me want to abandon capitalism and embrace socialism? No. Is it entertaining? Well, to be honest, I was really bummed out after I watched it, but that was the point. And it was funny at times, and generally very well-crafted. And it made me think. I think I want to watch BLOOD FEAST.

PAPER HEART -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 11/21/09

 

There are documentaries--films which record actual events as they happen--and mockumentaries like THIS IS SPINAL TAP, which spoof them. And then there's PAPER HEART (2009), which only partially succeeds at being both.

Comedienne and musician Charlyne Yi (CLOVERFIELD, KNOCKED UP), who executive-produced and co-wrote the film, stars as herself. The idea is that Charlyne not only doesn't know what love is, but she doesn't really believe in true love at all. So she takes off on a cross-country odyssey with director Nicholas Jasenovec (portrayed in the movie by actor Jake Johnson) and a film crew to ask really-real-life couples to talk about their love experiences.

During this time, Charlyne meets Michael Cera (played by Michael Cera, Yi's actual boyfriend at the time) and they start to fall for each other. Eventually Charlyne and Michael chafe under the constant scrutiny of the film crew and want to pursue their burgeoning courtship in private, to the chagrin of director Nick. Will Charlyne find the meaning of true love with a camera crew following her every move?

PAPER HEART has little trouble convincing us it's a real documentary early on, as Charlyne and Nick hatch the idea for the film and set off on their quest. Yi merely has to be herself here, and she's cute and funny--a natural. Despite being a washout as an interviewer, her gawky charm endears her to the various couples she meets and encourages them to open up and reveal some warm, moving anecdotes about themselves. She also wins over a group of yakky kids in a playground and a raunchy gang of bikers and their chicks in a dive bar. These sequences are very appealing and the stories are sometimes augmented by funny re-enactments using crude paper dolls and crayola-scrawled scenery.


It's only when the contrived situation of her meeting and being wooed by the boring Michael sets in that the film starts to get bogged down. This is especially true when, having separated from Michael after he's unwilling to continue with the film project, a distraught Charlyne has to quit being herself and actually act. This is hard enough in a fictional setting, but it's even harder to be convincing when you're pretending that you aren't really acting. (All three leads seem artificial in these plot-moving scenes.) It's something that even much better actors are often unable to do--just think of all those fake "man-in-the-street" interviews you've seen that never quite capture the impression of real people talking. Also, the sound quality and multiple camera angles in these scenes are just too good to come off as on-the-fly documentary footage.

As the fictional story nudges its way to the forefront, we begin to look forward to the brief real-life interludes. One highlight occurs at a wedding chapel in Las Vegas that features its own Elvis impersonator. Another takes place in an empty courtroom as a male judge and a female lawyer recount their long-term love affair with a quiet, deep-seated affection. A visit with two gay guys in New York gets serious when one of them becomes emotional about the death of a former lover. These heartfelt segments, capturing genuine examples of true love that leave a lasting impression, only make the sham-doc parts of the movie seem even more shallow.


The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with 5.1 Dolby surround and English and Spanish subtitles. Extras include featurettes "Paper Heart Uncut" and "The Making of Paper Heart", deleted scenes, an interesting live musical performance by Charlyne, the music video "Heaven" by Charlyne and Michael (who also scored the movie), and brief interviews with various actors and comedians about their views on love.

PAPER HEART is fun to watch when it's dealing with real people and their compelling love stories, but loses its lighthearted charm when it goes from doc to mock. Maybe it should've just been done as a straight documentary--Charlyne Yi has the bubbly personality to carry it for real, and who knows? They might've captured a serendipitous finale that resonates much more than the cute but hollow paper-doll fantasy that ends the movie.

FOG CITY MAVERICKS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 4/1/08

 

As a history of the San Francisco movie scene, Gary Leva's 2007 documentary FOG CITY MAVERICKS offers endless unfavorable comparisons between the artistic freedom of the Bay Area community and the impersonal, factory-like atmosphere of Los Angeles, where creativity is stifled by bean counters in suits who want to control every aspect of the filmmaking process and churn out bland Hollywood "product" for mass consumption. We're given several examples of the different sensibilities and priorities of these opposing mindsets, and in hindsight are able to see how utterly wrong the studio heads were in their negative reactions to such innovative works-in-progress as AMERICAN GRAFFITI, THE GODFATHER, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, and STAR WARS.

This story of San Francisco as a hub of creative expression begins about as far back as one can go, with Eadweard Muybridge and his photographic studies of horses and people in motion. Next comes the founding of Essanay Studios by Western star "Bronco Billy" Anderson, who wisely snatched Charlie Chaplin away from Mack Sennett and gave him full control over his own movies. Chaplin later compared the different creative settings: "In San Francisco, one felt the spirit of optimism, of enterprise. Los Angeles, on the other hand, was an ugly city, hot and oppressive."

As one might expect, the two main subjects of this documentary turn out to be Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas, whose frustrating experiences within the studio system early on prompted them to seek more independent means of cinematic expression. Coppola tells of how the opportunity to direct FINIAN'S RAINBOW for Jack Warner while still in film school gave him a taste of the kind of regimented filmmaking he wanted to avoid, leading him to establish his American Zoetrope studio in San Francisco as a haven for film artists such as Carroll Ballard, John Milius, and George Lucas. When the new studio went into debt, the cash-strapped Coppola was forced to direct a quickie gangster flick for Paramount based on a sensational novel. After a long, difficult struggle to make the film his way against constant pressure from the studio, Coppola's epic THE GODFATHER went on to sweep the Oscars and become the highest-grossing film to date.

George Lucas, meanwhile, was having his own problems, with brilliant early films such as THX-1138 and AMERICAN GRAFFITI being misunderstood, mishandled, and badly edited by the studios. Despite this, the latter proved so lucrative (to the tune of over a hundred million 1973 box-office dollars) that Lucas was able to get a new sci-fi project off the ground amidst still further adversity from the suits, who grumbled that there was "no future in science fiction." The incredible success of STAR WARS revolutionized filmmaking and allowed Lucas total artistic freedom and independence from that point forward. This led to his creation of Lucasfilm, Skywalker Ranch, Industrial Light and Magic, and the development of computer graphics and digital filmmaking, motivated by his conviction that "an entirely new approach was needed to expand the boundaries of cinema."

FOG CITY MAVERICKS goes on to showcase the creative exploits of other cinematic pioneers such as Phillip Kaufman, Pixar's John Lassiter, actor-turned-director Clint Eastwood, and, representing the next generation, Coppola's own daughter Sofia. The career of legendary "maverick" producer Saul Zaentz, whose creative vision inspired such classics as ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, AMADEUS, and THE ENGLISH PATIENT, is also explored in depth. One reason for the success of Zaentz, who often gambled on his projects by financing them himself, is summed up by director Anthony Minghella: "A Saul Zaentz movie isn't going to be like any other movie because...it hasn't gone through a machine."

Rather than presenting each filmmaker's story in a series of isolated segments, writer-director Gary Leva weaves them together as integral, interlocking elements of San Francisco's collective moviemaking history in the 20th century and beyond. Stunning location footage is intercut with a wealth of interviews, film clips, photographs, and movie scenes to add to Leva's portrait of the city as a veritable utopia of creative expression.

FOG CITY MAVERICKS is a lovingly-crafted documentary that succeeds in both drawing a clear distinction between the artistic and purely commercial aspects of cinema, and celebrating the joy and wonder one can derive from it. The first aspect of the film's message is clearly stated by Zaentz: "Studios are like flies...they'll eat both honey and sh** with the same enthusiasm." The second is contained in Coppola's boyhood motivation for joining together with like-minded artists to make movies--the idea that "filmmakers could play together like children, making magic."

 

LARRY FLYNT: THE RIGHT TO BE LEFT ALONE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/11/08

 

I've never been a big Larry Flynt fan. He always struck me as an opportunistic smartass who loves to stir up trouble. After watching the 2008 documentary, LARRY FLYNT: THE RIGHT TO BE LEFT ALONE, my opinion of him has softened somewhat. He's still opportunistic, but let's face it--what smut peddler isn't? He's still a smartass, but that's his medium and he works it like a fine artist. And although he does like to stir up trouble, a lot of that trouble was laid on his own doorstep by people trying to send him to prison in 1977 for publishing a dirty magazine.

Nowadays, Larry Flynt has achieved a level of respectability that finds him giving lectures at places like Harvard. Here, we see him before a crowd composed largely of admiring liberals who might regard him with disdain if he hadn't become the poster boy for free speech over the years. His dirty magazine and its politically-incorrect contents are now reluctantly tolerated by those fascinated by his various exploits in the defense of the First Amendment and the advancement of left-wing ideology. Fortunately, you don't have to agree with his politics or be an avid reader of his colorful publication--or even particularly like the guy--to share in their fascination, which is why I found this documentary so involving.

Flynt's reminiscences during his various speaking venues are augmented by lots of old footage from his vigorous younger days, when he first gained national attention by receiving a 25-year prison sentence for obscenity. He may come off as a soft-spoken old sage now, but back then he was hell on wheels (figuratively speaking). The younger Flynt faces news cameras with fearless conviction and backs down to no one. At his sentencing, we're told, he said to the judge: "You haven't made an intelligent decision in this case, and I don't expect one now." Tales of subsequent courtroom antics over the years provide further entertainment later on, including his infamous run-ins with Reverend Jerry Falwell.

We're introduced to Flynt's young wife, Althea, who was a driving force behind "Hustler" and equally outspoken. One of the tragedies of this film is watching her swift decline after becoming addicted to heroin, leading to her death in 1987. The other is, of course, an assassination attempt on Flynt which left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Losing the ability to walk, however, did nothing to quell Flynt's fiery indignation and his ability to face down any opponent; as we see in some riveting jailhouse deposition footage, he's still the ultimate smartass.

The film documents Flynt's further exploits before the Supreme Court, as a Presidential candidate, and as an object of fear and loathing in the hallowed halls of government, where his ability to find the skeletons in certain Republican politician's closets led to the resignation of House speaker Bob Livingston. Now, seemingly a much more sedate and contemplative figure, the older Flynt is no less opinionated and passionate in his political beliefs.

I don't share many of them, and I never really bought the notion of Larry Flynt as the noble, heroic martyr for free speech, but there's no denying that he is one fascinating character with unshakable convictions. Director Joan Brooker-Marks has deftly assembled a mix of recent interview and lecture footage along with archival material to concoct a consistently interesting story which, despite the volatility of the subject, is low-key and thoughtful, and lacking the circus atmosphere of Flynt's Woody Harrelson-starring biopic.

Presented in 16x9 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 2.0 sound, the DVD contains an informative director commentary, a trailer, some additional interview footage, and over fifteen minutes of extra material from the aforementioned deposition which is just about as irreverent as anything you'll ever see.

Like him or not, agree with his politics or not, LARRY FLYNT: THE RIGHT TO BE LEFT ALONE is a richly compelling documentary about one of the most unusual maverick figures of our time. I'm still not a fan, but I can say that I understand the guy a lot better now.

 

MEMORIAL DAY (2011) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Some war flicks serve up non-stop, blazing battle action for us to pound down popcorn by, while others are dark political nightmares that have us suffering the existential horror of it all.  And then there's MEMORIAL DAY (2011), the kind of war movie that just wants to get inside some soldiers' heads for awhile.

While Staff Sergeant Kyle Vogel (Jonathan Bennett) serves in Iraq, his experiences keep drawing him back to a lazy Memorial Day in 1993 when, as a 13-year-old boy in Minnesota, he found his grandfather's WWII footlocker filled with "souvenirs."  Bud Vogel (James Cromwell) tells Kyle to put it back, but the boy insists on hearing some of the old man's war stories.  Bud makes a deal--three items, three stories, and if Kyle behaves like a man, Bud will talk to him like one.

That special afternoon between Bud and Kyle on the porch, embued with all the golden-hued notalgia of a lemonade commercial, is the heart of MEMORIAL DAY, when the mentally failing old man recalls his precious stories one last time for the boy who is now mature enough to appreciate them.  Kyle's first choice, naturally, is a pistol, but rather than yielding a tale of daring adventure it takes the old man back to one of those days that still haunts him deep in his soul. 

 

 

 
All of the action we see during these flashbacks is peripheral to such emotional trauma, with soldiers such as Bud not only losing beloved comrades but sharing moments of grief and anguish with the enemy as well.  A battle in a Belgian forest in '44 serves mainly to establish the bond between the men involved (along with how Bud happened to get shrapnel from a potato masher in his butt), while another confrontation ends with Bud losing his best friend via an almost anticlimactic final shot.

Director Samuel Fischer handles the WWII sequences in a more traditional style than the "Saving Private Ryan"/"Band of Brothers" look we expect nowadays.  The latter is used during the present-day Kyle's day-to-day experiences in Anbar Province, Iraq, which are also shown to consist of long periods of dull drudgery and mounting tension punctuated by moments of horror and chaos.  

Again, the brief battle scenes are practically beside the point, and one mission to capture a terrorist leader, which is given considerable build-up, is aborted before it begins.

 

 

When a shrapnel injury lands him in the hospital, a sympathetic nurse (Emily Fradenburgh) allows Kyle to wax reminiscent himself, his stories often containing parallels to those of his grandfather as he harkens back to that long-ago Memorial Day.  

 Thus, we learn that a soldier's life is pretty much the same no matter the time or place, with the emotional significance of an event taking precedence over anything else.

Cromwell, who by now could probably play a part like this in his sleep, gives his usual sturdy performance as old Bud, while his son John plays the younger version in flashbacks.  The fact that John looks and sounds so much like his old man, in addition to being a pretty good actor himself, gives these scenes added authenticity.  As the older Kyle, Jonathan Bennett underplays enough to come across as a regular guy. 

 

 

The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  Extras consist of a commentary from director, producer, and actor John Cromwell, and a very brief behind-the-scenes short.

If you're expecting lots of action, be prepared to spend a leisurely afternoon on the porch with Grandpa during much of MEMORIAL DAY, which lives up to its title in a wistful, contemplative, and melancholy way.  This is the story of everyday soldiers doing a job which, at times, happens to exact an overwhelming emotional toll that stays with them for the rest of their lives.  

However, chances are that this well-meaning but ultimately rather bland movie won't affect you nearly that long, because although it does what it sets out to do fairly well, it never comes close to the kind of emotional crescendo that it labors to achieve.

BAG BOY LOVER BOY -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/18/17

 

Albert (Jon Wachter) is one of those dorky, withdrawn, borderline characters who seem to need just a little push to go off the deep end into the wonderful world of coo-coo.  And, in his case,  to transform into BAG BOY LOVER BOY (Severin Films, 2014).

He's a hot dog vendor in New York who's very lackadaisical about his job and basic sanitation in general (dropped hot dogs go right back on the grill) and dreams of being an artist or, better yet, a photographer, even though he knows nothing about art or photography. 

When a portly professional photog named Ivan (Theodore Bouloukos, AFTER.LIFE) is smitten with Albert's extreme ordinariness and offers to pay him to pose, Albert dully goes along with it thinking he'll get some photography training out of the deal. 

Instead, he's the co-subject of a series of perverse sex pictorials in which he is directed to put a plastic bag over a sexy model's head and mimic strangling her to death while Ivan eggs him on with sick exhortations and snaps away.

With such dreadfully unhealthy stimuli simmering in his overheated brain, Albert, left to his own devices when Ivan is suddenly called away to a big photo shoot in Italy, takes over the studio late at night and starts luring women there in order to satisy his raging new passions for (a) really bad photography, and (b) putting plastic bags over women's heads and strangling them to death.

Looking somewhat like something Abel Ferrara might've cooked up in his spare time, BAG BOY LOVER BOY has the muted, gritty-grimy aura of an 80s slice-of-urban-decay thriller like LIQUID SKY but without the neon veneer or quirky score. 

There's a bland, matter-of-fact quality to Albert's homicidal deeds that underscores how truly sociopathic, disturbed, and almost comically self-obsessed he is.  (We get several brief glimpses into his mind which are telling.) In fact, the ease with which he slips into his horrific new lifestyle tells us that he's been on a hair-trigger all along, just waiting for the right impetus to steer him toward his true calling.

With all of that, the film is rife with understated, tongue-in-cheek (and very dark) humor that begins with Albert's ridiculously disconnected nature itself and then really kicks in when the flamboyantly vain and profane chatterbox Ivan shows up (Theodore Bouloukos is both naturalistic and over-the-top in the role and is brilliant).  

I love it when Ivan glibly defends the terminally apathetic Albert against a couple who witness him retrieving a hot dog from the floor for their consumption--the dialogue seems improvised, it's so sharp and realistic.  Another particularly humorous scene involves woefully inept photographer Albert being schooled by a camera shop clerk as to why his Polaroids are turning out so blurry.

Humor and tragedy are nicely combined later on during Albert's seriocomic encounters with various victims, including Ivan's overbearing assistant Jackie (Kathy Biehl), who stumbles onto his nocturnal activities, and his friend/secret love Lexy (Adrienne Gori), who actually agrees to pose for his increasingly sick photos in exchange for a place to stay. There's even a foray into cannibalism that yields ghoulish giggles.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is in 1080p full HD resolution with English 2.0 stereo and optional English subtitles.  Bonus features consist of a trailer, two brief, comical student films by star Jon Wachter, and a commentary featuring director Andres Torres, actor Theodore Bouloukos, and editor Charlie Williams.

After an abrupt climax, BAG BOY LOVER BOY ends unexpectedly--not with a bang (although there is one), but with some deliciously curdled character moments that send us off with a wry smile.  It's almost a feelgood flick in its own sick way, albeit one that might leave you feeling like you just got dropped on the floor and tossed back onto the grill.

Buy it at Severin Films

THE SURVIVOR -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 2/14/17

 

Talk about survivor's guilt--airline pilot Keller (Robert Powell) is the only person who walks away, totally unscathed, from a fiery crash that kills 300 passengers and crew. 

And with no memory of what happened after takeoff, THE SURVIVOR (1981, Severin Films) will find no relief from his nightmare until he uncovers the truth behind that deadly flight. 

Fortunately for us, Keller's horrible waking nightmare is made all the more entertaining by a strong supernatural element.  ("Pilot error? Or supernatural terror?" prompts the tagline.)



When a young woman named Hobbs (Jenny Agutter of AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and LOGAN'S RUN in full cuteness mode) tells him that she's been in contact with the dead passengers and they have a message for him, he's skeptical at first.  But eventually he begins to believe her and together they seek out the truth via the world beyond.

Director David Hemmings' style is a bit unpolished around the edges but he knows how to stage a scene, and the crash itself is the film's highlight.  I like the way the SPFX get the job done with a sort of rough-hewn panache as the plane is shown making an impromptu landing close to a populated area and then exploding in spectacular fashion.

The aftermath is grandly staged in a way that fully conveys the chaos and confusion that would follow such an event.  In fact, despite the somewhat iffy SPFX, this is one of the most dramatic and authentic-looking depictions of a plane crash that I've seen in a movie.  Clearly most of the film's budget went into it.

 

 Moreover, the laborious investigation which follows has an air of realism to it, as Keller's survival itself puts him under suspicion as well as making him the object of deep resentment from the victims' families.

But what makes THE SURVIVOR most watchable is the increasing ghostly activity that begins to occur to those involved. We get the eerie feeling that the people killed in the crash are definitely not at rest, especially when a creepy little blonde girl starts popping up here and there and causing frightened people to have unfortunate "accidents." 

These scenes are done in a way that slowly builds tension and suspense rather than relying on shock or jump scares to unnerve us. Hemmings also takes his sweet time letting this adaptation of James Herbert's novel unfold, allowing us settle in and enjoy each chilling nuance as the plot leisurely makes its way toward the revelatory climax.

Agutter is as winsome here as she was in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and LOGAN'S RUN, while Robert Powell (TOMMY, "Jesus of Nazareth", "Marple") is perfectly cast as a man who seems to exist just a few centimeters outside his own timeline.

The venerable Joseph Cotten (CITIZEN KANE, WHITE COMANCHE) also appears as a sympathetic priest but his character doesn't really have that much to do.  Fans of Australian cinema will recognize composer Brian May's distinctive musical stylings.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is widescreen with English 2.0 sound and English subtitles.  Once again Severin offers a packed bonus menu, this time with what seems to be hours of various interview segments with the film's cast and crew, featurettes "Robert Powell on James Herbert" and "The Legacy of James Herbert", an extended final scene, a TV spot, and a selection of trailers from producer Antony I. Ginnane's films including this one.

THE SURVIVOR isn't quite a total nailbiter and it may not give you any nightmares, but it's solid supernatural entertainment with a dazzling disaster-movie beginning and an involving mystery whose solution lies beyond the grave. 

DOOR INTO SILENCE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/16/09

 

 

Lately I seem to be going through a "70s made-for-TV scary movie" cycle. First it was BAD RONALD, then DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK, and now, the psychological thriller DOOR INTO SILENCE, aka "Le porte del silenzio." The difference this time, however, is that it isn't made-for-TV, and it was filmed in 1991. But darned if it couldn't pass for one of those mildly eerie low-budget films I saw on "ABC Movie of the Week" when I was a kid.

The credits tell us that this film was written by "Jerry Madison" and directed by "H. Simon Kittay", but the big surprise is that both of those names are pseudonyms for none other than Italian goremeister Lucio Fulci. Equally surprising is the fact that DOOR INTO SILENCE, his final film, has nary a trace of blood and gore, nor are there any zombies or other supernatural creatures.

What it does have is a "Twilight Zone"-style plot padded out to feature length. John Savage (THE DEER HUNTER) plays Melvin Devereaux, a real estate agent headed for his home in Abbeville, Louisiana after visiting his father's gravesite in New Orleans. At the cemetery he meets a beautiful, mysterious woman (Sandi Schultz, later to become Savage's real-life wife) who displays a strange interest in him and even admits that she's following him. Yet she always disappears just before he can learn anything more about her.

Melvin's journey home is an exercise in frustration. Traveling along desolate backroads (Fulci manages to make southern Louisiana look like the end of the world) he's constantly being forced to make detours onto bad roads where he gets stuck in the mud or is forced to drive over crumbling bridges. In one scene, he wanders into the woods and is almost shot by a hunter, who chides him for being scared. In another, his car breaks down and he encounters the woman again in his motel room as he waits for it to be fixed. To make matters worse, Melvin keeps getting stuck behind a ubiquitous black hearse whose driver won't let him pass.

The story unfolds slowly and gives us plenty of time to try and figure out what's going on, although the outcome is pretty obvious. The first scene in the movie shows a head-on collision between a car and a big rig, with the car's clock being stopped at 7:30. During the film, Melvin keeps checking the time and, to his puzzlement, it's always 7:30. Not only that, but no matter how long he's on the road, the sun is constantly glaring into his eyes from the same spot right above the horizon.

As if this wasn't enough to clue us in on what's really happening with Melvin, the casket in back of the hearse has a wreath that sports first his wife Sylvia's name, and later his own. He has a vision while driving in which he enters his hometown mortuary and finds the mystery woman and the hearse driver working there. In the viewing room, all the caskets bear his name and in one of them he finds his own body. Later, he visits his Aunt Martha, who's a fortune teller, and when she reads his palm she informs him he's been dead for several hours. It's as though Fulci couldn't wait for the twist ending and just twisted the whole movie.

Meanwhile we're treated to scene after scene of Melvin's endlessly frustrating trip through rural Lousiana. For the first half of the movie it's somewhat intriguing and suspenseful despite the slow pace, but the story starts to drag when the outcome becomes increasingly obvious and we realize that Fulci is stretching this simple plotline like Silly Putty.

The movie did manage to hold my interest--although the end was pretty obvious, I was still curious to actually see how it would happen. And along the way there are some pretty creepy scenes that have a bit of a CARNIVAL OF SOULS vibe to them, especially when the distraught Melvin disrupts a funeral service and later when his visit to Aunt Martha ends badly. Ultimately, however, the story's resolution is a letdown, and the final "gotcha" shot is about as cheesy as they come.

Fulci's uneven direction seems slapdash one minute, inspired the next. The very low-budget Kodacolor look of the film has a kind of rough-hewn appeal, with an effectively eerie and oppressive atmosphere. Always sort of a peculiar actor, John Savage is fun to watch as he inhabits the harried, confused, and increasingly frantic Melvin Devereaux character with all his distinctive quirks. (One distraction was the fact that every time someone said his name, I kept expecting Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis to respond, "Melvin?")

Sandi Schultz makes a lovely mystery woman, and Richard Castleman is so irritating as the blustery hearse driver that we can understand why Melvin wants to deck him. Also making the most of their small roles are Mary Coulson as Aunt Martha and Jennifer Loeb as a whiny hitchhiker-prostitute with whom Melvin has an uncomfortable sexual encounter. Prolific exploitation filmmaker Joe D'Amato (as "John Gelardi") executive-produced, and Laura "Emanuelle" Gemser is billed as "Costume Designer."

Severin Films' DVD transfer is from a nice-looking print, presented here in full-screen and Dolby Digital 2.0 English mono. It's a barebones disc with no extras.

I reckon Fulci completists will want to grab a copy of this movie sight unseen. Others might be better off renting or borrowing before "going all the way", since this is hardly what most horror fans would expect if their only knowledge of the director is from films such as ZOMBIE and GATES OF HELL. In fact, I would more strongly recommend DOOR INTO SILENCE to fans of Rod Serling's "Night Gallery."

SAINT BERNARD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/16/19

 

Okay, who else thought this was going to be about a big monster dog like "Cujo"?  Me too, but SAINT BERNARD (Severin Films, 2013) is so much more than that, thank goodness. The first thing we see, for example, is a raw chicken on the verge of a parachute jump from an airplane.  Things just get way weirder from there.

For those of you who have always wished for a sequel to ERASERHEAD, this may be as close as you'll ever get.  In that film, however, it's the rest of the world--the real world, so to speak--that's bizarre and surreal, and the hero, Henry, tries to make sense of it. 

Here, Bernard lives in what we know as the everyday world, but can only perceive it all through his own full-blown insanity. So his attempts to find a place in the real world and live a "normal" life become nothing more than a series of incredibly bizarre waking nightmares. (These are just my interpretations, mind you--yours may be completely different.)

We first meet him, in the only part of the movie where he actually looks happy, as a young boy who wants more than anything to be an orchestra conductor.  In the first surreal segment, which I can only deduce is a figment of Bernard's unbridled imagination, we see a wood carver fashioning a baton for the boy from a large chunk of wood, which he then wields as confidently as baseball ace Roy Hobbs swinging his "Wonderboy" bat in THE NATURAL.

Bernard has the gift of discerning musical patterns from things in everyday life--clocks ticking, water dripping--but has trouble making such orderly sense of life itself.  His grown-up self, played by Jason Dugre (SKINNED DEEP) will be no less confused, and we'll discover that he has become progressively removed from what we would consider "sanity."

This manifests itself in what must be some of the most bizarre, surreal imagery ever created for a motion picture.  Most of it springs from the fertile and clearly fervid mind of writer-producer-director Gabriel Bartalos, whose special effects expertise has graced many films such as DARKMAN, UNDERWORLD, and FROM BEYOND.  His production designer also deserves much credit for helping to create some of the most freakishly strange environments and props imaginable.

Bernard's descent into madder madness is also represented by the stark white tuxedo that he always wears. It starts out clean and pure, like Bernard's innocent, unsullied nature, and then gets progressively soiled and stained as he is forced to interact with reality on both an intellectual and tactile level.

The whole thing really gets underway when Bernard attempts a concert performance which is on a grand scale in his mind, but in actuality is nothing more than him making an ass of himself in front of a few family and friends in a near-empty concert hall. This is where we still see traces of the real world outside of Bernard's twisted perception, and how it is made utterly strange by the deep-seated insanity which has overtaken him.

At one point midway through I realized that I was looking for a story and not finding it. But in the middle of this jumble of grotesque, senseless imagery, there was a kind of story, which was the story of Bernard looking for a story in his life and not finding it.  As an aspiring musical conductor he looks for the tick-tock beat in everything which he can control and cajole with his "Wonderboy" baton.  But it is nowhere to be found.

Just like in most nightmares, nothing makes sense and that's how they are designed to torment us.  Bernard strives for stability and resolution, and either he is too insane to find such things or the world around him is too insane to offer them. The more he searches, the crazier the nightmare becomes.

Each person Bernard meets, or thinks he meets, is more incomprehensible than the last, as are the situations surrounding them.  Trying to seek help at a police station involves climbing through a trap door into a hallway that's ankle-deep in broken bottles and trying to communicate with a monstrous troll referred to as "Chief." 

Meeting his potential love interest, Miss Roadkill (Katy Sullivan), in an alleyway goes from an act of icky sexual aggression on the part of this whacked-out street harpy to sudden, extreme horror when a truck runs over her legs and turns them to bloody stumps.  The driver, who actually has no legs himself, then berates her for spoiling his driving record while hopping around emptying a large bag of table salt over her gaping wounds.

Oh, and I left out the part about the clumps of barbershop hair that have gathered and entwined themselves into stick figures stalking the streets, which for some reason come to Bernard's aid.  The disembodied head of a St. Bernard dog figures into all of this as well, which, in one amusing scene with Andy Kaufman's pal Bob Zmuda as a money-grabbing priest, sort of becomes a symbol of religious faith if one wishes to mentally pursue such things.

I won't even go into the finale--my mind is still trying to process it. It does involve Bernard's weird Uncle Jack, and a creature that's the pinnacle of the film's makeup and practical effects artistry.  One final mention of the story's continual references to wood and water. And look for Warwick Davis atop a huge pile of--you guessed it--wood.

I spent the entire running time either trying to make sense of it all, or trying to make sense of the fact that none of it made any sense. Sometimes I labored to find the symbolism in what I was seeing--I know it was there, some of the time anyway--and sometimes I just sat back and let the weirdness overtake me. Either way, I was totally engaged with SAINT BERNARD from start to finish, and felt a little more crazy and a little more sane for having watched it.


Buy it at Severin Films

Special Features:
    The Making of Saint Bernard
    Trailer

JOY & JOAN -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 8/13/10

 

Where 1983's softcore sex romp JOY left off, JOY & JOAN (1985) picks up and continues with the life story of a vacuous supermodel (Brigitte Lahaie) whose successful career is overshadowed by a troublesome love life.  This time, after suffering continued setbacks in her relationships with men, Joy decides to try her luck playing on the other team for change.  Will it be a whole new romantic revelation, or just the same old grind with different underwear?

As the story opens, poor Joy is finding it hard to smile during a photo shoot.  Sometimes the life of a supermodel can be so hard!  Her heartthrob and Daddy-figure, Marc (played this time by younger actor Jean-Marc Maurel), blithely refuses to commit to her and is about to flit off to Thailand on a writing assignment.  So Joy cleverly beguiles her other older-guy lover, Bruce (played this time by older actor Pierre Londiche) into taking her there, too.  But the terminally smitten Bruce has a few perverse plans for Joy up his sleeve (among other areas) and, while staying at the luxurious villa of the creepy Prince Cornelius, things begin to get so strange that Joy is forced to flee in order to preserve her...virtue?

Stranded in Thailand without any money or champagne, Joy meets a lovely and vivacious young woman named Joan (Isabelle Solar) who divides her time between being a tour guide and conning rich old men out of their money.  Joan falls head over heels for Joy and they start making out like a couple of girl rabbits.  Things go well for awhile, but after a traumatic S&M gangbang in a dank grotto in the Philippines, Joy finds her way back to France alone.  Will Joan be able to find her again and rekindle their romance?  And what about Marc?  Will Joy be okay?

JOY & JOAN has all the slick production values of the original film but is more creatively shot and edited, with a story that actually manages to be interesting from time to time.  The travelogue elements are fine as Joy finds herself amidst some beautiful locations in Thailand and the Philippines, particularly during some stunningly-photographed beach idylls and a sightseeing tour through the waterways of Singapore. 

The first half of the film is the best, as Bruce's weird side emerges when they arrive at Cornelius' palatial estate and meet the man himself, a quivering little troll who openly lusts after Joy.  Bruce goes all out to celebrate her birthday, inviting a crowd of formally-attired pervs to queue up and take a Joy-ride after the naughty voyeur has drugged her drink and laid her out on a huge chaise lounge under the stars.  This tastefully bizarre and delightfully strange sequence is like something a more restrained Ken Russell might cook up, especially when a mock orchestra and portly opera singer start mimicking a recording of "Madame Butterfly" while Cornelius giddily hops around in a bandleader outfit and baton. 

When Joy finally gets away from Bruce with the help of his exotic Malaysian slave girl Millarca (after a tender lesbian interlude, natch), her encounter with Joan leads to several steamy erotic sequences which take place in beds, beaches, trains, and just about any other location with a horizontal surface.  The story rolls lazily along at this point but never really grinds to a halt, and, after the bad business in that grotto, relocates back to Paris for a fairly interesting resolution in which Marc gets back into the act. 

While she has a lot of loyal fans, I think Brigitte Lahaie lacks charisma and due to her often sluggish performance the character of Joy seems more vapid than ever.  However, this shouldn't matter very much to those interested in seeing her naked, because she and the other female leads spend a great deal of time shucking their clothes and making out with each other in classic soft-porn style.  When she isn't going one-on-one with Joan or Millarca, Joy sometimes finds herself akin to an amusement park ride that everyone wants a turn on, and it isn't always consensual--one of the drawbacks of being dangerously irresistible. 

The rest of the cast carry their weight and a few of them stand out.  As the pathetic Prince Cornelius, Jacques Bryland ultimately manages to give an unexpected depth to his almost farcical character as he pines for Joy from afar and ends up chasing her across continents.  Maria Isabel Lopez also makes an impression as the melancholy slave girl Millarca, who helps Joy escape from her master's clutches.  Isabelle Solar makes an appealing but not all that exciting Joan, while Jean-Marc Maurel is carefree roguishness personified as the happily faithless Marc.

The DVD from Severin Films is 1.85:1 widescreen with a Dolby 2.0 French soundtrack and English subtitles.  No extras.

Definitely more substantial storywise than its predecessor, JOY & JOAN is still pretty lightweight drama.  However, it makes up for this with some nice visuals, offbeat scenes, exotic scenery, attractive stars, and lots and lots of nudity and sex.  For this kind of film, you probably can't ask for much more than that.

JOY -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/12/10

 

"Mostly harmless" is how Douglas Adams might have described Italian director Serge Bergon's softcore sex flick JOY (1983).  He may have also added "mostly not all that interesting, either", although it's a pleasant enough film that's easy on the eyes and features several yards of Claudia Udy's bare skin during its running time.

After a pretty title song, we meet Joy as a little girl who catches Mom and Dad making out on a rug in front of the fireplace.  Years later she becomes a model whose preoccupation with casual sex and a glittery lifestyle masks a deep longing for the father who abandoned her as a child.  Seeking a father figure in her older lover, Marc, Joy soon realizes that they have widely differing expectations for their relationship. 

It sounds like a rich vein of dramatic possibilities for director and co-scripter Bergon to tap, but he barely bothers to even give Joy much of a personality let alone make us care a whole lot about her.  Perky and shallow, she's like a plastic sex doll that's been imbued with about half a soul.  Nothing seems to affect her very deeply even when she's seemingly preoccupied with Marc (who regards her only as an interesting diversion when he isn't with his other mistress) and, until a couple of melodramatic sequences near the end of the film, her life is mostly champagne and satin sheets.

A photo shoot in Mexico takes her on a beach frolic with a handsome young photographer, and when a billboard of her lying naked on the sand with the caption "Orgasm: A Woman's Right" leads to a national scandal, she cheerfully cashes in on the notoriety.  This leads to her being whisked to New York to star in an action movie, where she meets another older gent named Bruce (Kenneth Legallois) who not only introduces her to Tantric sex with his New Age friends but also begins a search for her missing father. 

All in all, Joy seems to lead a fairly charmed life and even her lemons turn into pink lemonade sooner or later.  Which means that JOY is a film with very little drama or conflict, and whatever entertainment value it has depends solely on how much you enjoy watching her having fun, being cutely petulant, or trying to turn guys like Marc into Daddy surrogates.  Of course, there's also the scads of bare bodies on display, with the blissfully uninhibited Joy flitting from one softcore sex encounter to the next (the "voyeur chamber" and "Tantric sex orgy" scenes are particularly interesting) amidst scenic locations in Paris, New York, and Montreal.

Director Serge Bergon (aka Sergio Bergonzelli) takes good advantage of those locations and the film has the slick look of a superior Skinemax flick, albeit with a very subdued color palette.  Attractive old-style settings rub shoulders with 80s-style Art Drecko, with some scenes boasting the chintzy opulence of a Pat Benetar video.  I often enjoy this sort of wince-inducing yet nostalgic retro-chic stuff and thus found the movie fun to look at most of the time, even while the story is about as surprising as a video fireplace.

As Joy, Claudia Udy is cute as a button and girlishly winsome, with a terrifically fit body.  As with the rest of the cast, her acting is adequate--not great, but good enough.  Aside from Joy, Marc, and Bruce, the other characters don't figure all that much into the story and we barely get to know them. 

The DVD from Severin Films is 1.85:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound.  The soundtrack is French with English subtitles.  An 11-minute interview segment, "Reflections of Joy", features a personable Claudia Udy circa 2010 as the now 50-year-old Canadian actress looks back on the film and her career in general. 

The plot heats up somewhat near the end with a disturbing visit to an S&M club and a harsh exchange between Joy and Marc, followed by a bittersweet sequence in which Joy revisits her childhood home.  Still, it's all so low-key that even the abrupt ending doesn't seem all that jarring.  And despite all the eye-catching nudity and simulated sex, the best way to describe JOY as a film is "pleasantly bland." 

FEED THE LIGHT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/30/17

 

It's a real pleasure to see directors and cinematographers these days who not only work in black and white but seem to revel in the unique qualities and possibilities of the medium.

Swedish director Henrik Möller's nightmarishly dark FEED THE LIGHT, aka "Lokalvårdaren" (2015) has been described as "Lovecraftian", which it most definitely is, but visually it's also very "Lynchian" in its bleak and exquisitely evocative use of disturbingly surreal black and white imagery a la ERASERHEAD, with only a few splashes of color for emphasis. 

As Möller himself describes the plot, "In brief you can say that it's about a warehouse in the harbor where mysterious things happen to the cleaning personnel.  There is something wrong with the light."  (That's putting it mildly.)

 

To clarify that a bit, distraught mother Sara (Lina Sundén) has lost custody of her daughter Jenny to her abusive husband Jon (Patrik Karlson), and in order to try and steal her back, she seeks custodial employment in the same mysterious building where he works. 

Things seem "off" immediately.  The only managerial personnel consists of a stiff, cruel woman (Jenny Lampa) named Chefen but known in hushed tones as "The Boss."  The only other people roaming the dim, dreary hallways are a surly cleaning crew to which Sara is assigned, with the special instruction, "Always keep the silver dust swept up." 

It isn't long before Sara realizes that there's something strange and malevolent about the light inside the building--the silver dust, in fact, seems to fall from the light fixtures themselves.  Before the story's done, a bizarre source of light within the bowels of the lowest basement level will hold the horrible secret of the building's seemingly impenetrable mystery.

 

Until then, Sara engages in a furtive search for Jenny that keeps us in bewildered suspense from the very start, encountering both hostile coworkers and the increasingly intimidating Boss (who keeps in her office, seemingly as a pet, an unkempt naked man who seems to think he's a dog). 

Her only allies are an outwardly sympathetic crew foreman (Martin Jirhamn), who may or may not be on her side, and, surprisingly, her ex-husband Jon, whom she finds in decidedly decrepit condition after having spent some non-quality time in the lower level trying to get to the bottom of the mystery himself.

With their help and advice, and despite their warnings, Sara's quest to venture into the first basement (and eventually, of course, into the lowest, creepiest sub-basement) becomes a horrific journey into the paranormal in which nothing is as it seems.

Doors and entire hallways appear out of nowhere, while an unseen force seems to guide her along through the dark, mazelike corridors.  She encounters what appears to be Jenny, but is it?  Most disturbingly, there's a fleeting shadow creature reminiscent of those sleep-paralysis phantoms, only this one is more aggressively hostile.

It reminds me of the creature in the "Outer Limits" episode, "It Crawled Out of the Woodwork", of which I still have shuddery childhood memories.  Other chilling images bring to mind the scarier episodes of "The X-Files" (mainly the ones about the black oil).  

Moreover, the use of extremely limited resources in an imaginatively cinematic way reminds me of HARD REVENGE MILLY, a futuristic action-revenge thriller that also takes place mainly in one empty building and works wonders with very little.

Mainly, though, it's a unique film experience that will nourish the morbid-leaning genre fan's hunger for both the Lovecraftian and the Lynchian, whose subtle twists of reality suddenly give way to jarring images of horror.

The Blu-ray from Intervision is in 1080p full HD resolution with 2.0 audio (Swedish with English subtitles).  Extras include a making-of featurette, a director interview entitled "The Lovecraft Influence", and the film's trailer.

Brilliantly told, with excellent performances, the mood and atmosphere of FEED THE LIGHT surround the viewer like a dense fog, as we feel our way uncertainly toward an ending that is both disorienting and truly haunting.


Buy it at Severin Films

MASKED MUTILATOR -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/6/19

 

I didn't quite know what I was getting into at first with the no-budget wrestling/horror flick MASKED MUTILATOR (Intervision, 2019), but once this brawny little cinematic engine that could gets chugging you can really smell what the hardy filmmakers behind it are cooking.

Fact is, it's been simmering in the executive producer's basement for 25 years, until finally he decided to take the 16mm elements and make a finished movie out of them. And it's a good thing too, because not only does the result look really good, it's also a real hoot for both horror and wrestling fans.

Jeff Sibbach (WCW, NWA) plays Vic Mangino, the ex-wrestler who was known as the "Masked Mutilator" until he viciously snapped an opponent's neck in the ring and then quit the sport out of guilt.  Now the head guy at a home for troubled teens, he uses his brawn and tough attitude to help keep the often violent and combative 20-something teens in line.

Trouble comes with a new addition to his staff, the more lenient, progressive Steve Carson (played by director Jeff Beltzner, who under the name of "Brick Bronsky" is a WWE and Stampede veteran whose film credits include SGT. KABUKIMAN N.Y.P.D., CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH 2 & 3).

As Vic and Steve clash over their handling of these unruly, emotionally-volatile kids, somebody wearing Vic's old "Masked Mutilator" mask is killing them off one by one with vicious wrestling holds and disposing of them in various splattery, gore-movie ways.

Is it Vic? Or is someone else getting some kind of twisted revenge against these kids?  It's a mystery that's just easy enough to figure out in about one minute but fun enough to keep us interested until the final reveal.

Meanwhile, we get to know the "kids" just enough to be glad when some of them get theirs and scared for the ones we actually like, including a boy and his sister who are constantly bullied by the big, mean guys and the slutty girl who enjoys seducing anything wearing pants just to prove that she can.

All of this is way more entertaining than it has a right to be, because the script by Ed Polgardy and Dale Schneck is tight, well-written, and bristling with good dialogue which is delivered beautifully by a talented, appealing cast.  The film is very well-paced with nary any padding--every scene counts--and the murder scenes and other action are expertly staged and shot.

It all leads up to a main event with the brawniest characters grappling and kick-boxing to the death right there in the livingroom, and here Beltzner/Bronsky's direction is at its best along with razor-sharp camerawork, editing, and some of the best fight choreography you'll see in any movie. (There's even some folding chair action!)

A newly-filmed wraparound segment ties the story together, with actor Tom Taylor--who plays young good-guy teen Brian in the 1994 footage--returning after 25 years to follow up on his character as he tells the horrifying tale during a podcast.  A final twist ends this modern segment on a satisfying note.

It's a real pleasure to see these musclebound wrestling stars (fans of the sport will probably recognize some of the other supporting players) lending their considerable "weight" to these vivid characters and spectacular no-holds-barred fighting action, in addition to delivering one of the most entertaining no-budget horror efforts you could ask for. 


Order it from Severin Films

Street date: May 14, 2019

Special Features:
    Audio Commentary with Cast & Crew (Dale Schneck, Tom Taylor, Paul Sutt, Steve Mittman and Jim “The Tank” Dorsey)
    You See Me Sweatin’? – Interview with Actor Tom Taylor
    Slice the Pretty Boy – Interview with Actor/FX Artist Paul Sutt
    Scissors, Tape & Paste – Interview with Co-Writer/Co-Executive Producer Ed Polgardy
    Don’t Believe That, Folks – Interview with Co-Writer/Executive Producer Dale Schneck
    Audition Tapes
    Mean Gene Okerlund Interviews Tom Taylor

BEYOND THE SEVENTH DOOR -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/16/17

 

You never know how a "cult" film is going to strike you.  Will you get caught up in whatever its many devoted fans see in it?  Or will its dubious appeal pass you by completely, making it seem to you like just another cheap piece of dreck? 

The 1987 Canuxploitation thriller (well, sorta) BEYOND THE SEVENTH DOOR hits me about halfway between the two extremes.  I found it entertaining enough for a low-budget effort but I'm not quite moved to go out into the street singing its praises. 

The best thing I can say is that there's plenty of fun to be had for those who appreciate fair-to-bad movies, especially ones that fully and imaginatively utilize their severely limited resources.
 

Serbian writer-director Bozidar D. Benedikt (THE GRAVEYARD STORY) has certainly done so, piecing together various ideal found locations to concoct nothing less than a small-scale subterranean puzzle-maze adventure. 

Ex-con Boris (Serbian actor Lazar Rockwood, THE RETURN) looks up his old girlfriend and former robbery partner Wendy (Bonnie Beck, CITY IN PANIC) and presents her with a proposition: help him get into the castle of the rich old guy Wendy works for so that they can try to find the treasure he's said to be hoarding somewhere within its walls. 

She's hesitant at first, but--long story short--they end up going through with the plan after she's cased the joint, made copies of certain keys, and figured out that the most likely location for a hidden treasure is behind that big locked door in the basement. 

Once they go through it, however, they've just initiated an automated security system (actually more of a game-playing ordeal for the old man's amusement) that will have them scrambling to decipher clues to get them from one room to the next lest they perish in one of a series of diabolical death traps. 

The old man's recorded voice, heard intermittently over a speaker system, promises that if they make it to the end they can keep whatever they find, but as the night wears on and the traps become more and more deadly, this seems unlikely. 

Of course, it all plays like a poor man's version of similar quests in such films as INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE and NATIONAL TREASURE.  But since BEYOND THE SEVENTH DOOR is operating on a budget less than what those films spent on Evian water, it's interesting to watch just what kind of brain-teasing labyrinth of mystery director Benedikt and his crew have been able to come up with.

Like other such stories, it's sort of a condensed version of a cliffhanger serial with each scene building to some impending-doom situation--spikes descending from the ceiling, a sealed room slowly filling with water, walls closing in, etc.--which, while not all that terribly thrilling, manages to keep us interested.

But what really holds our attention is watching the two leads wildly emoting their way through it all, their performances none too polished but brimming with energy.  Pretty Bonnie Beck is capable enough, especially in the quieter scenes, while lanky, angular-looking Lazar Rockwood tends to go off like a bottle rocket every few moments, his performance often resembling one of those manic characters Martin Short is known for.

Both manage to shed some of their clothes along the way as Wendy rips her dress down to her stockings and garters trying to plug up some water-gushing holes in the wall and Boris, to my personal dismay, somehow loses his shirt. 

A sudden, fitful sex scene between the two comes on like a steam-valve burst of nervous energy but mercifully fades out before we go blind, and, without much further ado, the movie sweeps us along toward that 7th door and its final, life-or-death dilemma.

The DVD from Intervision is in 1.33:1 full frame with Dolby sound.  No subtitles. Extras include interviews with Benedikt and Rockwood (and Paul Corupe of Canuxploitation.com), the featurette "The King of Cayenne" about eccentric street personality Ben Kerr (who plays a corpse in the film), and an entertaining audio commentary with Benedikt, Rockwood, and Corupe.

After pleasantly stringing us along for the better part of an hour and a half, BEYOND THE SEVENTH DOOR ends with a rather nifty, and nasty, plot twist that had me feeling pretty satisfied about the whole thing.  I may not become part of the film's cult, but I can sort of understand why there is one.


Buy it at Severin Films

Release date: October 31, 2017