THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/29/17

 

Walerian Borowczyk was a Polish avant-garde artist who chose film as one medium through which to express his wildly imaginative musings.  In 1967, he tackled the art of animation with the feature-length cartoon THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL, aka "Théâtre de Monsieur & Madame Kabal" (Olive Films).

Or perhaps "tackled" isn't the correct term as much as "drugged, wrestled into submission, and dressed up funny."

With what appears to be a mix of cel art, cutouts, and other elements (at times it looks as though Borowczyk is drawing directly onto white paper in increments), he tells the story of a day in the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Kabal--he a short, mousey husband and she a tall, grotesque wife who appears to be a soulless mechanical monster of some kind.

The first scene catches her in the midst of assembling herself out of spare parts and choosing a head (after many tries, she picks the most alarming-looking one) before going along her un-merry way into what passes for a narrative, which actually isn't one at all.

Mr. Kabal, meanwhile, whiles away his spare time gazing around at the barren scenery through his telescoping binoculars until he catches brief glimpses of live-action women lounging in bikinis who are then menaced by an old man with a beard. These clips are the only color in this stark pen-and-ink world save for a few splashes here and there, including the ever-present butterflies flying endlessly about.

One sequence features the couple lying on the ground (he reading a newspaper, she lying face down) while the butterflies flit by for several minutes.  Some flutter, some flap, and others sound like trash can lids rolling by.

 

Borowczyk has a field day with the sound design throughout the film, as Mrs. Kabal foreshadows "Star Wars" robot C3PO with her staccato speech consisting of a barrage of electronic beeping noises. 

Borowczyk himself appears early on and urges her to simply act naturally (relatively speaking) so that we can observe the Kabals going through a typical day.  She beeps furiously in response (her dialogue is subtitled in three languages) before conjuring a weight out of thin air to drop on Borowczyk's head. 

The early scenes are the best, because they're slower paced and we can better assimilate what's going on, as nonsensical as it is, such as Mrs. Kabal shedding her outer metal husk in order to bath in the ocean, or Mr. Kabal attending a cinema show entitled "The Depths of the Human Body" which features live-action closeups of pulsating organs and a quivering esophagus.

In another scene, a giant crosscut saw separates Mrs. Kabal's head from her reclining body, which then expands to such great size that Mr. Kabal immediately scampers inside to explore the depths of its Escher-like interior.

As the film progresses, so does the pace, until we're assailed by a dizzying procession of utterly bizarre and senseless images that grow more relentlessly incomprehensible by the minute.  Finally the story is nothing more than pure stream-of-consciousness incongruity, and the effort to take it all in becomes rather taxing. 

For this reason it may be advisable to watch THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL in several short bursts rather than trying to handle it all in one mind-numbing sitting.  The more adventurous cineastes among us may consider the latter something of a challenge, while others will be both unable and unwilling to endure more than a few minutes of it.

One thing's for sure--I would be very surprised if Terry Gilliam, who supplied the celebrated animations for "Monty Python" throughout his tenure with the group, weren't at some time influenced by Borowczyk's work, just as the Polish artist's later live-action film GOTO, ISLE OF LOVE seems to foreshadow the early stylings of David Lynch.   

The story of the Kabals is similar to GOTO in its arbitrary and thoroughly unapologetic strangeness for its own sake (or, rather, for art's sake).  But unlike that film with its more coherent plot and less rampant surrealism, the almost hallucinatory THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL remains in the uppermost stratosphere of strangeness from beginning to end, like the long, fervid dream of a rarebit fiend, and dares us to still be there when it's finally done.

Tech Specs
Regional Code: region 1
Languages: French
Subtitles: English (optional)
Video: 1.33:1 aspect ratio; b&w + color
Runtime: 78 minutes
Bonus features: none

THE DELINQUENTS -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 3/23/17

 

Often these teenage delinquency thrillers are pretty bad--the ones that aren't directed by Nicholas Ray, anyway--and must be perversely enjoyed for what they are.  However...

With Robert Altman's 1957 feature debut THE DELINQUENTS (Olive Films) we get a briskly executed, fast-moving tale of heated teen intrigue that can be appreciated on its own modest terms without the usual "so bad it's good" vibe needed to keep us interested.

Ed Wood-like, budding auteur Altman (MASH, NASHVILLE, THE PLAYER) enjoys his own "Written, Produced, and Directed By" credit, while the film is like a top-drawer cousin to those often dreary exploitation cheapies whose sanctimonious sermonizing was an excuse to indulge in gratuitous violence and debauchery.

Here, Altman is careful to make the characters and situations much more realistic and true-to-life than in many such films and we don't get the feeling that we're "slumming" as we watch, despite a narrator's hokey Sunday School sermonizing (which Altman himself clearly did not write) bookending the film.

The story begins with a bunch of twenty-something teens disrupting a jazz bar after being refused alcohol and then piling into their top-down jalopy and going on the prowl for more trouble to get into. 

Led by smooth but surly narcissist Cholly (Peter Miller, whose other credits include FORBIDDEN PLANET, THE ONION FIELD, BLUE THUNDER) and his hotheaded toady Eddy (familiar actor Richard Bakalyan, CHINATOWN), this group of ne'er-do-wells are on their way to evolving into the same type of ultra-violence addicts we meet in Kubrick's A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.

 

Taking in a drive-in movie, they encounter Tom Laughlin (BILLY JACK) as Scotty, sitting alone and dejected in his car after being ordered to stop seeing his girlfriend Janice (Rosemary Howard) by her overly protective parents, who consider her too young to "go steady."  After Eddy punctures someone's tire with his shiv, the gang help Scotty fight off a group of boys who mistake him for the culprit. 

Thus begins a sick "friendship" between Scotty and Cholly, whose only intention is to abuse Scotty's trust for his own amusement and even try to move in on Janice after helping her sneak out of the house to see Scotty. 

During a wild party in a vacant house, Eddy gets Scotty drunk so that Cholly can make advances on Janice, and in the ensuing police raid Scotty is once again unjustly blamed, this time for being the snitch who led the police there.

The rest of the film is a tense and often violent series of clashes between Scotty and the gang with innocent bystanders like Janice (who is ultimately kidnapped to lure Scotty into a trap) representing the adverse effects of delinquency on decent society in general. 

With most of the young cast finally ending up in the police station, the film rather abruptly ends where REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE begins, as the narrator once again exhorts us to do something about this teen delinquency scourge before it's too late.

With THE DELINQUENTS, Robert Altman proves himself a more than competent director with a lean efficiency that would serve him well in such television shows as "Combat!" and "Alfred Hitchcock Presents."  His hastily-written script displays the same qualities, as well as a knack for snappy and engaging dialogue.

Already he was directing his actors well and getting good performances out of them, including his own cute little daughter Christine as Scotty's kid sister Sissy and his wife Lotus Corelli as Janice's mother.  Peter Miller as Cholly and Richard Bakalyan as Eddy are convincingly sleazy and volatile, while the energetic, expressive Laughlin, trying his best to channel James Dean, is fascinating to watch.

It's particularly interesting to see Laughlin in his starring debut being so boyish and open (happy-go-lucky Scotty often enters the scene whistling, while he and Janice play and giggle like children when alone), in sharp contrast to the tortured and taciturn Billy Jack character who, years later, would spin-kick and method-act his way through a series of preachy action flicks with the intensity of a constipated gorilla.

Laughlin would later write and direct his own cautionary teen dramas such as LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON (1961) and THE PROPER TIME (1962) before becoming the iconic Billy Jack in 1967's THE BORN LOSERS.

As late-50s teen exploitation, this film is noteworthy for its lack of both rock-and-roll music (the gang listens only to jazz) and drugs (they only get high on alcohol).  There's also little reference to school, meaning no sympathetic or antagonistic teachers and fellow students complicating the narrative.  And aside from a few minor authority figures and some bossy parents, the conflicts are kept strictly between the younger characters.

The crisp black-and-white cinematography is gorgeous, the print used here being pretty much pristine.  I love the stark, shadowy night photography (all done on location in Altman's hometown of Kansas City, Missouri) with the somewhat lurid but exhilarating aura of the era's low-budget horror thrillers. Some of the violence, while mild today, is shockingly bloody for its time. 

The DVD from Olive Films has an aspect ratio of 1.66:1 and mono sound.  English subtitles are available.  The film's trailer is the sole extra.

"The Hoods of Tomorrow! The Gun-Molls of the Future!" extols the breathless trailer for THE DELINQUENTS, and while not quite that sensationalistic, the film itself is both exciting and genuinely absorbing. Altman and star Laughlin may skirt the edges of "so bad it's good" territory here, but for the most part, in its own modest way, it's just plain good.

THE RED SQUIRREL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/30/18

 

I'll be honest--an artsy-sounding Spanish film called THE RED SQUIRREL, aka "La ardilla roja" (Olive Films, 1993), with a creepy-looking DVD cover and a synopsis that reeked of askance-romance had me feeling 100% non-expectant. 

But then I started watching it, and that first post-titles shot of Nancho Novo as "Jota" standing at the rail of a bridge at night, debating over whether or not to jump, had me thinking "This looks like it was directed by someone who cares." 

Indeed, director Julio Medem, as it turns out, is one of those deliberate yet tasteful visual stylists who can make a movie look compelling from beginning to end. 

And then the story kicks in, when a beautiful young woman (Emma Suárez) on a motorcycle goes over the rail instead--accidentally--and Jota rushes to attend to and comfort her as she lay there in the sand before the ambulance arrives. 

We love him for doing so in such a gentle and encouraging way.  But then we feel a little creepy when, upon discovering that she now has amnesia, he claims to be her boyfriend and that they've been in love for years.

It turns out that Jota's former love Elise has left him, and now it's love-at-first-sight for her convenient new replacement, whom he also calls Elise.  She falls for the whole set-up, and together they go on a romantic vacation at a rustic campground by a lake, far from inquiring doctors and psychologists.

Here, their interactions with other campers--in particular, a family that gets a little too inquisitive and too involved in their odd business--lead to an increasingly dicey situation for the deceptive Jota and his fantasy girlfriend with the tentative memory.

Performances are fine, with Novo allowing us to empathize with Jota despite the actual creepiness of what he's up to, and Emma Suárez being just utterly captivating even when her character's seams begin to show (like him, she isn't quite what she appears to be). 

Director Medem brings his own sharply-written script to life in thoroughly engaging fashion, so that even the somewhat draggier parts have enough mystery and  visual interest to keep us involved.  This is augmented by a quirky, offbeat musical score that's darkly beautiful. 

The deliberate pace allows us to relish each twist and turn in the plot until finally the secrets all come forth like fireworks for a vividly enlightening finale. 

And when the smoke cleared, I found myself very glad indeed that I'd given an odd-looking movie called THE RED SQUIRREL a chance, because it has to be one of the most satisfying viewing experiences I've had in years.



Rated:
nr (not rated)

subtitles:
english (optional)

Video:
1.66:1 aspect ratio; color

Runtime:
114 min

Year:
1993

STREETS OF VENGEANCE -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 7/24/18

 

A deliberate throwback to the cheap straight-to-VHS sexploitation trash of the 80s and 90s, STREETS OF VENGEANCE (Olive Films, 2 discs, 2017) is so true-to-form that you almost expect to see the Vestron Video logo tacked on at the start.

(As with the previous "Mankillers", the box for this title from Olive's "Slasher Video" line looks like something you'd see decades ago on a video store shelf.)

What we do get, along with some nostalgic simulated-videotape imperfections, is a framing device recalling USA's "Up All Night" (here called "All Nite Long") with a hyper-excited bimbo hostess squealing about tonight's feature, "Streets of Vengeance." (Also included is a hilarious fake trailer for a film called "Slashlorette Party.") This time, however, the sex and violence are not only not edited out, but ramped up to eleven.

The film proper covers all the bases: porno actresses, strippers, and other "sex workers" are falling victim to horrific slasher murders that turn out to be the work of a cult of misogynistic "men's rights" fanatics who resent women exercising their sexual influence over men.

Terrorized and almost murdered herself, former porn star and current porn entreprenuer Mila Lynn (Delawna McKinney) strikes back by rounding up a gang of likeminded babes, with the help of a portly magazine writer named Brian (Anthony Iava To'omata) who's in love with her, to track down the murderous male chauvinists and go to war with them.

Much of this has the cheap look of a rock-bottom budget, which isn't surprising since the approximate cost of the film was an astounding $4,000.  This is mostly evident in the interiors, and even then the film has a glossy neon-on-black look similar to that of "Liquid Sky."

As for the exteriors, co-directors (and co-writers) Paul Ragsdale and Angelica De Alba manage some eye-pleasing photography that almost nudges this raucous revenge flick into contemplative art film territory.

Former X-rated star Ginger Lynn Allen appears in a pivotal role, as do some other current adult actresses with whom I am not familiar. (I quit watching porn when it stopped being like it was in "Boogie Nights.")

The climactic clash between bimbos and misogynists has the expected amounts of bad fight choreography (somehow all these porn actresses have suddenly acquired martial arts skills), fake-o violence and gore, splendidly excessive overacting, and some surprises as to who's actually the big cheese behind the bad guys.

It's all just as tawdry, tacky, and titillating as it sounds, but it's also a good deal of goofy and fairly funny entertainment when it isn't taking its skewed social/sexual politics too seriously.  

When it indulges in being a self-important political tract it's pretty much full of itself.  But as pure exploitative trash, STREETS OF VENGEANCE matches its 80s and 90s predecessors in bouncing boobs and hack-em-up splatter (especially during the lurid lapdance castration scene), and basic dumb fun.


Buy it at Olive Films

TECH SPECS:
Rated:nr (not rated)
subtitles:english (optional)
Video:1.78:1 aspect ratio; color
Runtime:101 mins
Year:2017
UPC:887090703901 (DVD), 887090704007 (Blu-ray)
Cat #:ME039 (DVD), ME040 (Blu-ray)

SPECIAL FEATURES:
Disc One: 
Movie
Audio commentary with writer/director Paul Ragsdale, producer Angelica De Alba and cinematographer Dan Zampa
Disc Two:
Making of “Streets of Vengeance” featurette
Cast & crew interviews
Outtakes
Bloopers
Photo galleries
Music videos
Trailers
“Slashlorette Party” trailer
“Tough Guys” trailer

SARA STEIN: FROM BERLIN TO TEL AVIV -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/25/19

 

She isn't a super-cool superwoman who's flawless, infallible, and better at everything than all the guys, and it's this real-life human quality that helps make Sara Stein such a relatable and appealing character. 

Make no mistake, though--the intelligent and highly capable homicide detective at the center of this limited TV series and now 2-disc DVD set SARA STEIN: FROM BERLIN TO TEL AVIV (Film Movement, Omnibus Entertainment) is tough, smart, and likable enough to keep us keenly engaged throughout all four of her exciting feature-length investigations.

Katharina Lorenz is ideal in the title role, a fine, expressive actress who's just fit enough (Sara runs and bikes every day for exercise) and pretty enough to look like she didn't just get sent down from central casting. As capable as anyone on the force, she has nothing to prove yet sometimes makes mistakes so that even her admirable character is believably human.

 

We join the first adventure, "Shalom Berlin, Shalom Tel Aviv", with her already an established member of the Berlin homicide squad who happens to come upon the tail end of a violent knife attack in a nightclub parking lot while out on a night jog.

The crime scene is dotted with mysterious little clues which we'll get to watch Sara and her coworkers painstakingly sort out as one revelation leads to yet another and another in what is a typically twisted and unpredictable series of events.

The case involves an Israeli victim and a Palestinian suspect, in the first of several politically-tinged cases in which Sara is forced to contemplate her own Jewish heritage to which she has never paid much attention. Just when we think politics is the all-consuming motive, however, other elements take the plot in quite different and intriguing directions.

I found her eccentric coworkers and their quirks to be quite entertaining--Max (Aljoscha Stadelmann) is a cheerful nebbish without a lot of tact but an effective street style, and mousey Anne (Katharina M. Schubert) is a highly capable presence in the office but horribly agoraphobic when forced to join Sara in the field.

We also meet David, a famous pianist who forms a mutual admiration with Sara, her caring parents, and her troubled boss, Commissioner Schubert (Kirsten Block), a recent widow whose personal life has intersected badly with her professional one.

This last element becomes a constant in later episodes after Sara marries David and makes the move to his native Tel Aviv, joining the police force there.  A clash between the personal and the professional will add much emotional drama to Sara's life, beginning with the murder of her predecessor on the force in "Jewels From the Grave."

Here, we see the difficulty Sara has fitting in with her new cohorts, mostly street-hardened men like the burly Blok (Samuel Finzi) and imposing Commissioner Weissenberg (Ami Weinberg).  Thankfully, however, it isn't for the old cliched reasons of sexual prejudice but instead a fear that the eager new detective will uncover secrets about the victim and themselves which they would rather remain hidden.

After a very shaky start, Sara and Blok begin working together amidst a grudging mutual respect in the third feature, "Masada", when a beloved archeologist is killed in an explosion at the ancient site and the usual political suspects are rounded up even as suspicion begins to include members of his own family. 

This one is a puzzle that keeps the attention engaged along with some extremely painful personal revelations for Sara which, as usual, are played to perfection.

In her final adventure of the series, "Old Friends", Sara investigates the discovery of a severed hand on the beach and is drawn into a maelstrom of crime and deceit which, again, will directly involve her in scintillating fashion. 

Her husband David comes to the fore in this regard when he reveals some stunning secrets about his previous life in the military, with none other than Blok as his commanding officer.  And as always, the callow but earnest young upstart Corporal Hanan Chalabi (Bat-Elle Mashian) comes up with surprisingly clever deductions at the most unexpected times.

Each razor-sharp screenplay is stunningly photographed (especially after the move to Israel) and filmed with great verve and energy by prolific TV director Matthias Tiefenbacher, who achieves a gritty, kinetic style without resorting to constant shaky-cam.  Music, editing, and other production elements are first rate.

The four episodes of SARA STEIN: FROM BERLIN TO TEL AVIV deftly combine riveting, realistic personal drama with the finest elements of the police procedural amidst the volatile politics and religious strife of the Middle East. Stripped of the usual bombast and empty sensation, we're left with purely intelligent, thoughtful, and consistently fascinating forays into the life of a richly interesting character.

  
Order it from Film Movement

Release date: June 4, 2019

Format: NTSC, Subtitled
Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
Number of discs: 2
Languages: German, Hebrew, Arabic
Subtitles: English
Studio: Omnibus Entertainment
DVD Release Date: June 4, 2019
Run Time: 360 minutes

I'LL TAKE SWEDEN -- DVD Review by Porfle

  

Originally posted on 6/15/16

 

In the 60s, middle-aged comics like Bob Hope made what I like to refer to as "old fogey" comedies in which they and their same-generation viewers could commiserate about the wacky state of "these kids today." 

The 1965 "so bad it's good" romp I'LL TAKE SWEDEN (Olive Films, Blu-ray and DVD) is a prime example of Bob not quite getting what was going on with the youngsters right after Beatlemania, still seeing them in a wacky 50s rock-and-roll sort of way--only more freaky and frenetic what with the twistin' and the fruggin' and whatnot. 

Nat Perrin, who wrote for guys like the Marx Brothers and Eddie Cantor back in the day (DUCK SOUP, KID MILLIONS), and Groucho's own son Arthur, who would later give us the quintessential "old fogey" comedy THE IMPOSSIBLE YEARS, pack the script with tired one-liners for Bob to throw away left and right without much enthusiasm or comic inspiration.  (Don't get me wrong, though--I still love that Bob.)

One of the funniest things about the movie, in fact, is seeing Hope and company trying to create a hybrid between the old-fashioned screwball comedy and the modern "beach party" farce without ever really understanding where to go with it or how to make it seem in any way relevant to either generation except by adding a part naughty, part quaintly-puritanical sexual element. 

Hope plays Bob Holcomb, a widowed oil company executive who comes home from a business trip to find that his daughter JoJo (Tuesday Weld in full blonde-babe mode) is on the verge of marrying a rock-and-roll-crooning party boy named Kenny Klinger (Frankie Avalon).

In order to separate them, Bob accepts an extended assignment in Sweden, but then JoJo falls for a Swedish lothario (Jeremy Slate as "Erik") who only wants to have you-know-what with her.  With Kenny suddenly looking good in comparison, Bob invites him to Sweden for a series of what we movie watchers like to call "comic complications."

When Bob and his new Swedish flame Karin (Dina Merrill) end up in the same scenic hotel where JoJo and Erik are debating the pros and cons of premarital sex (he's pro, she's con) and Frankie Avalon is running around being Frankie Avalon, we get one of those situations where everyone just misses bumping into each other and the chaste young girl comes THIS close to throwing away her virginity to a (gasp) sex maniac!

The chintzy technical aspects of I'LL TAKE SWEDEN add to its off-kilter appeal--for me, anyway--with its TV sitcom-level production values and sets, lots of cheesy rear projection, and a "Sweden" that exists only on soundstages and backlots with ample stock footage (much in the way "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." did all of his globetrotting without ever leaving the studio.) Longtime "Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" producer Fred De Cordova directs in staid fashion.

Dina Merrill joins the cast once Bob and Tuesday arrive in Sweden, with her "Karin" character going from interior decorator to Bob's love interest faster than he can toss a bad one-liner at her.  Seeing them make out is one of the freakiest things about the whole picture.

Familiar faces that pop up along the way include John Qualen, Walter Sande, Maudie Prickett, and lovely burlesque dancer Beverly Hills.  Jeremy Slate, who was perfectly fine in Westerns such as TRUE GRIT and THE SONS OF KATIE ELDER, displays little comic skill and a really bad Swedish accent in his thankless role as Erik.  Dina has little to do besides grin constantly and giggle at Bob's jokes to make up for his not having a laugh track. 

Tuesday is winsome as always, while Frankie gets to do his beach bum character without the beach (although there is a lake and some bikinis at one point) and with a kookier and somewhat more obnoxious attitude.  In fact, the film is at its most enjoyable when he's on the screen doing his own giddy brand of slapstick or belting out one of the rock-song parodies that have been written for him. 

The DVD from Olive Films is in 1.85:1 widescreen with mono sound.   Subtitles are in English.  A trailer is the sole extra.

I'LL TAKE SWEDEN is the sort of movie I used to watch on TV as a kid and think of it as a "grown-up" comedy.  Now that I've experienced what was then known as "the generation gap" from both sides, I still can't relate to this movie and wonder who the heck it was aimed at.  But that doesn't matter since it has become such a wonderfully oddball and delightfully dated artifact of its time, and half the fun of watching it is just trying to figure the damn thing out. 

CYNTHIA -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/1/18

 

A major new contender in the ever-popular "monster baby" sub-genre, CYNTHIA (Indican Pictures, 2018) follows in the slimy footsteps of such classics as "It's Alive!" while adding its own twisted twists and post-partum pandemoneum. 

This time, we follow the desperately procreative efforts of young couple Robin (Scout Taylor-Compton, 247°F)and Michael (Kyle Jones), exhausted by having to try and get "in the mood" whenever she's at her peak fertility. 

When her home pregnancy test finally shows "positive", the happy news quickly gives way to even deeper expressions of manic anxiety.

People such as myself who have no interest in propagating the species will no doubt already find the movie nightmarish as we watch the two of them slog their way through all the insecurities, frustrations, mutual recriminations, suspicions of infidelity, and other insanity of such an endeavor.

Those who are going through or have gone through similar experiences are sure to identify with one or both of these frantic characters, even though their actions are comedically exaggerated.

Indeed, CYNTHIA is both horror movie and comedy, but the comedy, while clever and often perceptive, is played way down and never descends into farce.  This allows the script to get away with the more outlandish stuff which we accept even when it goes way outside the bounds of reality.

These bounds are shattered when Robin goes into labor and has a beautiful baby girl, in addition to a large, grotesque cyst which is immediately discarded.  As we all suspect, the cyst contains baby Samantha's twin, a horrific mutant monster (whom we will call "Cynthia") that immediately goes on a blood-drenched killing rampage as all mutant babies tend to do.

The death scenes are both shocking and perversely amusing, and the cops sent to investigate include genre icon Sid Haig (HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES, DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, "Jason of Star Command") in his usual sardonic persona, adding to the film's dry humor.

But what pushes this one over the top is when the proud parents bring their precious darling home and are followed by their murderous, beastlike other precious darling who takes up residence in the ventilation system and metes out bloody mayhem to anyone who threatens Mommy or sister Samantha.

This will come to include both Daddy, who isn't getting along very well anymore with the increasingly irrational Mommy, and Mommy's annoying busybody sister Jane (Rebecca Marshall), a bitter, self-centered divorcee who gives Robin all the wrong advice and ends up on the receiving end of Cynthia's wrath.

It's all played straight and smart, with the biting (so to speak) comedy serving as a counterpoint to scenes that would've been too melodramatic or outlandish on their own.  This also gives a welcome satirical edge to some of the most horrific death scenes. 

The lead actors are all fine, while Haig and other familiar stalwarts make brief but welcome appearances.  Lynn Lowry (MODEL HUNGER) shows off her considerable acting skills as a sickly-sweet nanny who finds one baby too many in the nursery, and Robert LaSardo (HARD TO KILL, DOUBLE TAP, DEATH RACE) has some nice moments as a surly hospital janitor. 

Sid Haid cohort Bill Moseley (HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES, OLD 37) has a wild cameo as a homeless transvestite named Buttercup, and the great James Karen (BENDER, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD) appears just long enough to make his way from one end of the screen to the other.

Hardly the kind of horror film to use up all its good scenes early and then peter out, CYNTHIA just keeps building to a climax that goes from queasy horror to nailbiting suspense (always with that comedy undercurrent) before ending on an old-fashioned "gotcha!" that caps it off with a shuddery smile.


Tech Specs
Runtime: 90 mins
Format: 1:85 HD
Sound: 5.1
Country: USA
Language: English
Captions: English
Website: www.IndicanPictures.com
Genre: Horror
Extras: interviews with Rebecca Marshall and "Cynthia", trailers

Cast & Crew
Directed by: Devon Downs and Kenny Gage
Starring: Scout Taylor-Compton, Sid Haig, Rebecca Marshall, Bill Moseley, Robert LaSardo, James Karen

HARMONIUM -- DVD Review by Porfle

HARMONIUM, aka "Fuchi ni tatsu" (Film Movement, 2016), is a very neatly-rendered Japanese film by director Kôji Fukada (SAYONARA, AU REVOIR L'ETE) which should appeal to anyone who wants a little more tragedy in their lives. Or at least in their movies.

I thought at first it was going to be some kind of harrowing CAPE FEAR-type thriller.  After all, it's about a fairly normal family--a somewhat distant, disaffected husband and father Toshio (Kanji Furutachi), his dutiful, religious wife Akié (Mariko Tsutsui), and their sweet young daughter Hotaru (Momone Shinokawa)--suddenly having to deal with Toshio's ex-convict friend Yasaka (Tadanobu Asano), who comes seeking employment and a place to stay after an eleven-year stretch in prison for murder.

Gradually we learn that there's more to Yasaka's crime than anyone realizes--namely, Toshio's involvement, for which he went unpunished and free to live his life (which he takes for granted) while his friend languished behind bars.

We feel about as awkward as Akié about the whole thing and wait for the violence and terror to begin, but a funny thing happens--Yasaka turns out to be a gentle, patient, and seemingly caring man who's everything that Akié could want in a husband. 

He even takes the time to teach Hotaru how to play the harmonium for her upcoming talent concert, assuming the role of both teacher and surrogate father. In short, he's starting to make Toshio look like yesterday's chopped liver.

Already this scenario has the potential to turn out a number of bad ways, and all we can do is grit our teeth in quiet dread and wait to see what direction it takes. 

This is exacerbated by the growing closeness between Yasaka and Akié, with the ex-convict covetously regarding Toshio's life as the one he himself should have had. Eventually, we fear, he'll begin to take whatever steps are necessary to make that a reality.

And yet even at this point, HARMONIUM refuses to settle into the course we keep predicting for it.  After a single shocking moment that drastically changes everything, the rest of the tale comes to us more in a haze of resignation and regret than anything resembling your standard thriller. 

The fear and anxiety are still there, but not because we're worried about any kind of violence and retribution.  Instead, we must watch the dissolution of a family that has lost its reason to exist and descended into suicidal despair. 

Not even the promise of possible revenge, legal or otherwise, is enough to hold them together.  They're like a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces falling away one by one. 

Kôji Fukada directs it all with crisp, economical efficiency and is blessed with a cast who give their all in their roles.  While lacking the usual tension and suspense of a thriller, the story holds us firmly in a grip of morbid curiosity as to just how much worse things can get for these poor people.

HARMONIUM resembles a Park Chan-wook "vengeance trilogy" tale without the climactic visceral catharsis.  Instead, we're left only with the mundane sadness of everyday existence amplified by the crushing weight of circumstances too heavy to bear.  It's an effective slice-of-tragedy story that will leave you heartsick.

Buy it from Film Movement

DVD Extras:
Interview with star Kanji Furutachi
Bonus Kôji Fukada short film "Birds"
Film Movement trailers

5.1 Surround Sound/2.0 Stereo
Japanese with English subtitles
1.66:1 widescreen
120 minutes

EVEN LAMBS HAVE TEETH -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/7/17

 

If you're partial to rape-revenge movies but I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE is just too serious and downbeat, you'll probably love EVEN LAMBS HAVE TEETH (2015).  It's kind of like a Romy and Michele movie if Romy and Michele got abducted and forced into prostitution, and then escaped and started killing everybody.

Things start out with a definite tongue-in-cheek tone as ditzy blondes Sloan (Kirsten Prout, ELEKTRA, THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE) and Katie (Tiera Skovbye) make their way into the heart of Yokelvania to work at a "community supported agricultural farm" for a month just to earn enough money to spend a weekend shopping in New York.

But the film takes a serious turn on the way to the farm when these borderline farcical characters meet up with a couple of semi-handsome country boys who give them a ride in their pickup and take them home to meet Mother (Gwynyth Walsh, best known as Klingon sister "B'Etor Duras" in STAR TREK: GENERATIONS).

 

Two drugged cups of java later, Sloan and Katie are chained inside a couple of cargo containers in a field somewhere while a procession of horny hillbillies pay to have sex with them. None of them, needless to say, is a prize, but the worst is the grunting psycho in the pig mask. (His identity is one of the film's best surprises.)

This traumatic sequence is when the movie is at its most hopeless and grim, since a good rape-revenge flick must build up sufficient "hate points" against the bad guys for us to welcome seeing them get theirs in the most horrible ways possible. 

Which, of course, is exactly what happens when the girls manage to escape on the eve of their "retirement" and, after a fun-filled shopping spree at a hardware store, they go after their erstwhile captors and customers with a manic, bloodthirsty glee.  (And I'm not even giving anything away since all of this is right there in the trailer.)



EVEN LAMBS HAVE TEETH is directed by Terry Miles, who previously gave us such films as STAGECOACH: THE TEXAS JACK STORY and LONESOME DOVE CHURCH.  From its first moments--a pleasantly amusing main titles sequence which bodes well for the film's technical merits--it easily maintains a breezy watchability throughout its length, with good performances all around.

Michael Karl Richards ("Stargate: Universe") co-stars as Katie's uncle Jason, an FBI agent investigating the girls' disappearance, while Craig March is backwoods slime personified as the crooked Sheriff March.  The rest of the cast is filled with plenty of colorful yokel-types, some merely comical and others richly deserving the horrible deaths in store for them.

Naturally, Sloan and Katie's rip-roarin' rampage of revenge is this Twinkie's sweet cream filling and it doesn't disappoint.  It may not be quite as gory as you'd imagine, but it's still plenty splattery and the girls display both a giggly industriousness and lots of imagination as they go about their bloody business, hacking their way up the slime chain right to the top--Mother and her two rotten sons--for the film's lively, satisfying climax. 

While not exactly world-shaking or terribly original, EVEN LAMBS HAVE TEETH is a candy-coated revenge romp that's as much fun as a box of glazed donuts.  Splattered with blood, that is. 

Something Not Quite Right About "STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE" (1979) (video)

A standing joke in "Star Trek" has always been Dr. McCoy's fear...

...of getting his "molecules scrambled" in the transporter.

The gag is revisited in "The Motion Picture"...

...even though, mere hours before...

...two people got their molecules scrambled permanently.

All things considered, we're with Bones on this one.


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Something Not Quite Right About "STARMAN" (1984) (video)

Karen Allen's character in "Starman" is so sweet and caring.

She can't stand the idea of a poor animal being killed for food.
Or the people who would do such a thing!

But then she goes into the diner...
...and orders a "Super-Burger."

Later, Starman resurrects the dead deer.
It's wonderful...

...but what about that poor Super-Burger?


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

APOCALYPSIS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/4/18

 

Stunningly directed and photographed--that's the first thing I noticed about writer-director Eric Leiser's fourth feature film, the near-future dystopian thriller APOCALYPSIS (2018), so it's the first thing I wanted to mention.

This story of a woman named Evelyn Rose (Maria Bruun), a Christian whose deep pondering of the Book of Revelations fills her mind with bizarre visions of frightening portent, and a man named Michael Banderwack (Chris O'Leary), a radical "hacktivist" bent on saving the world from itself even as the NSA use all their electronic surveillance might against him, is one endlessly intriguing and often beautiful work of cinematic art.

Visually, it reminds me of an updated version of 1982's cult sci-fi classic LIQUID SKY, both starring striking-looking female protagonists having disturbingly transformative experiences amidst a production designer's most fervid bursts of imagination.  It's as though David Lynch and Ridley Scott fell asleep in a candy store and collaborated on the same psychedelic dream.

That aside, the story is instantly compelling despite being the third installment in a trilogy (the other films being IMAGINATION and GLITCH IN THE GRID). Evelyn works for a rare book seller while constantly experiencing mindblowing visions inspired by the pages of Revelations and rendered in wonderfully odd stop-motion animated vignettes by director Leiser.

Meanwhile, Michael stays one frantic step away from the NSA (tinfoil bedsheets and all) while doing his outlaw radio show and planning acts of uncivil disobedience against the increasingly oppressive Big Brother state. 

This quest draws Evelyn and Michael together since both refuse to be "chipped" with an electronic "Mark of the Beast" under their skin and, in their own different ways, are willing to sacrifice their own lives for the collective good.

The fact that Michael is an atheist only makes their relationship more interesting.  Evelyn, an albino, looks almost as translucent as her guileless soul, and the two of them compliment each other. 

Despite occasional lapses in this symbiotic pairing, as when Michael suspects Evelyn of being an NSA mole, they will ultimately be united in a final, potentially futile struggle against the coming New World Order.

O'Leary's Banderwack is funny and fun to watch, a character we can admire despite being something of a flake. As Evelyn, a woman steadfast in her faith and pure at heart, Bruun is compelling throughout. 

Angels are sent to watch over her--even disbeliever Michael gets a visit from one after he goes "off the grid" and is advised that Evelyn needs his help.  And for once, a character's religious faith is neither mocked nor treated as a freaky quirk.

Storywise, we're deposited into this already-in-progress trilogy just at the right point to be able to pick things up as though it were a stand-alone film. The intrigue between underground political dissidents and voyeuristic Big Brother agents hot to bring them in for "processing" is enough to keep things interesting, and then there's the likability of the lead characters as their experiences allow the best of themselves to come through.

My main and perhaps only disappointment is the abrupt ending, which makes this seem like the penultimate entry in a trilogy rather than a concluding one. But that aside, APOCALYPSIS is like a visually sumptuous cinematic art gallery with a plot.  Both my eyes and my mind found it dazzling. 


Tech Specs
Runtime: 90min
Format:1:78 HD
Sound: Dolby Sr.
Country: USA
Language, Captions: English
Website: www.IndicanPictures.com
Genre: Sci-Fi
Extras: Making-of featurette, Indican trailers

Watch the Trailer