THE STRANGERS -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/14/08

 

Remember that famous shot from the original HALLOWEEN in which Jamie Lee Curtis is standing in a dark doorway, and Michael's masked face slowly materializes behind her?  

THE STRANGERS (2008) wants to extend that same creepy chill for its entire running time, and in large part it succeeds.

After leaving a friend's wedding reception, James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler) return to his family's secluded lakefront vacation house late at night, obviously in the midst of a wrenchingly emotional relatonship crisis.

It seems James just popped the question and Kristen responded with the old "I'm just not ready" routine, and now things between them are, to say the least, strained.

 But just as they begin to engage in what promises to be some hot, impulsive makeup sex in the livingroom...there's a knock at the door. Answering it, they find a strange young girl standing in the dark, her face obscured as she says simply: "Is Tamara home?"

This is the point where nothing in the lives of James and Kristen will ever be the same again, and THE STRANGERS begins its grueling descent into sheer terror. It's one of those horror films with a simple storyline riddled with various cliches of the genre, and the main interest comes from seeing how imaginatively the filmmakers tweak these cliches and feed them back to us.

 

A silent intruder, wearing one of those eerily bland masks, keeps entering the frame behind our main characters. Avenues of escape or contact with the outside world are cut off one by one, and cell phones suddenly become unreliable. James says "Wait here" and disappears, leaving Kristen alone. Kristen, of course, eventually falls while running and sprains her ankle.

And there's the old nailbiter that has her cowering in a closet, watching through the slats while the killer slowly searches the room and casts ominous looks in her direction. Even the old hand-grabbing-the-shoulder routine, a staple of 50s B-movies, is shamelessly revived. None of this is a problem for me, though--I like seeing new life breathed into old cliches if it's done well.

With a big-name cast and fine production values at his disposal, first-time writer-director Bryan Bertino has crafted an unusually stylish slasher flick that looks way better than most films of its kind (the cinematography is especially sumptuous during the early scenes) and he knows how to handle the scary stuff.

 Scott Speedman is a strong, sympathetic presence as James, while Liv Tyler not only handles the drama well but also proves to be an excellent screamer. The killers (there are three) are an interesting mix of the familiar and the inexplicably strange--I don't want to describe them in much detail, but the senseless, arbitrary nature of their attack is unsettling. And in addition to an ominous musical score, the sound design is highly effective from that very first hollow knock at the door.

The DVD is 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound; both are very good. In addition to two minor deleted scenes, a featurette entitled "The Elements of Terror" gives us an interesting look at the making of the film. Both the theatrical and unrated versions are included, although there's little discernible difference between the two except for an extra scene near the end which is interesting but contains no added violence. Subtitles are in English, Spanish, and French.

What THE STRANGERS does very well is to isolate its main characters in a nightmarish, hopeless situation and then make us experience every minute of fear and panic with them. There's a high level of suspense throughout, with some scenes almost unbearably tense. And it all leads to a final sequence that is both sad and depressingly inevitable. By no means the feelgood movie of the year, THE STRANGERS gleefully tapdances on whatever fears of home invasion you may have ever entertained.

BEYOND THE DARKNESS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/29/17

 

I love to watch movies while I'm eating. Some movies, however, really--and I mean really--don't lend themselves to mealtime viewing.  Joe D'Amato's BEYOND THE DARKNESS, aka "Buio Omega" (1979, Severin Films) is one of them.  Hoo boy, is it ever.

Generally speaking, it's your basic Italian 70s-era Grand Guignol potboiler dripping with that old-country Goth flavor and a sort of lurid, rough-hewn visual flair characteristic of much of Italian cinema. 

But it's the particulars in this case that really drive the film into gut-punch territory.  When D'Amato (THE ALCOVE, EMMANUELLE AND THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE) wants to shock or gross us out, he delivers with some strong, graphic gore and cringe-inducing perversion that'll most likely set your nerves on edge and your stomach on "queasy."

It all starts when otherwise handsome and normal-looking young Frank (Kieran Canter, THE LONELY LADY) loses his beloved wife Anna (Cinzia Monreale, THE STENDHAL SYNDROME, THE BEYOND).  Unable to bear the loss, he steals her body from its grave and, using his skills as a taxidermist, preserves it in his basement laboratory so that he may, err..."consort" with her as before. 

In this he's helped by faithful family servant Iris (Franca Stoppi, THE OTHER HELL), who has an unhealthy relationship with Frank that's sexual, yet weirdly maternal.  Having Anna offed by a voodoo priestess was just step one in Iris' plot to become the mistress of the manor--and now, she has a vested interest in not only helping Frank preserve his dead wife's body (for the moment, anyway) but also in covering up the murders of young women that he just can't seem to resist having sex with in the bed next to Anna's corpse.

This latter activity is where BEYOND THE DARKNESS is indeed at its darkest, as D'Amato indulges in some classic body disposal that includes meat-cleaver dismemberment and then the old acid bath.  (Cremation comes later as well.)  Entrails, eyeballs, and all matter of offal are on the menu, especially when Frank gets a bit peckish during passion.  But even he has to hurl at the sight of Iris gobbling down a post-body-disposal platter of disgusting food in a scene that's the polar opposite of the erotic meal in TOM JONES.

Making these scenes even harder to stomach are several close shots that could pass as footage from an actual autopsy.  Indeed, they're often thought by fans to be just that, although D'Amato himself reveals that animal entrails and pig skins were used.

At any rate, the film continues along its morbidly merry way until a predictable plot twist sets up the very lively, very splattery finale.  A final heart-stopping shock right at the fadeout is particularly satisfying.  

(And speaking of hearts, we just know the director is pulling our legs when Frank, having removed Anna's heart while "processing" her, lovingly kisses and then lustily bites into it, causing the severed arteries to squirt blood.  Now that's some really dark humor, folks.)

Kieran Canter is a pretty one-note actor as Frank, but it's just the right note and he plays it with conviction.  Franca Stoppi, on the other hand, gives a bravura performance as a woman who's a monster, in the words of Ed Wood, to be both pitied and despised.  Also performing at their peak are The Goblins, who contribute their usual excellent musical score.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films features both English and Italian (with English subtitles) 2.0 soundtracks.  A generous Severin bonus menu includes a documentary-length interview with D'Amato that's augmented by comments from friends and coworkers and packed with film clips.  There are also interviews with Franca Stoppi and Cinzia Monreale, as well as a live Goblin performance from 2016 of the main title track, a "Locations Revisited" short, and the film's trailer.  Best of all, the first 2500 units will contain the entire Goblins soundtrack on its own CD disc. 

"Shock is an ideal way to involve the audience in the film," Joe D'Amato declares during his interview footage. "And cannibalism is definitely pretty shocking."  As is much of what he dishes out in BEYOND THE DARKNESS, for horror fans who like to gorge themselves on the grotesque.

Buy it from Severin Films

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE -- DVD review by porfle

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE (2006) is another throwback to the teen slasher flicks of the 80s, with its cast of horny highschoolers partying it up in a secluded location while an unknown stalker lessens their number "Ten Little Indians" style.  Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it's not so good.  Here, we sorta waver between the two wondering which one will win out in the end.

Amber Heard (AND SOON THE DARKNESS, THE RIVER WHY, ExTERMINATORS,  MACHETE KILLS) fills the bill as Mandy, the quintessential gorgeous virgin whom every guy (and some girls) wants to "get with" first.  Sure enough, she's the main attraction when she accepts an invitation to spend a party weekend at the isolated ranch home of nerdy-but-horny classmate Red (Aaron Himelstein, excellent as a young Austin Powers in GOLDMEMBER). 

Also vying for Amber's attentions are macho Jake (Luke Grimes, TAKEN 2) and token black dude Bird (Edwin Hodge).  The other girls in the gang are prissy blonde Chloe (Whitney Able) and earthy brunette Marlin (Melissa Price), whose own petty jealousies and insecurities have them constantly at each other's throats.   And trying to keep these rambunctious youngsters from wrecking the place in the absence of Red's mom and dad is ranch caretaker Garth (Anson Mount, HICK), an older Marlboro Man-type who arouses the interest of the girls.

But first--nine months earlier, to be exact--there's an interesting pool-party prologue in which rich, popular Dylan (Adam Powell) is egged on by Mandy's jealous friend Emmett (Michael Welch, TWILIGHT series) to perform a drunken stunt to impress her and is horribly killed.  After such a promising start, it's a bit disconcerting when the story then settles right into the usual groove of sex-obsessed high school kids making plans for the big weekend bash where we don't have to be psychics to predict pretty much how things will go.

Sure enough, the rowdy road trip to Red's ranch (during which they steal several kegs of beer from a hapless roadside merchant) and the giddy build-up to party time upon their arrival at the scenic location lead right into the standard booze 'n' weed blowout.  Besides being one of the most boring teen parties ever filmed (making it, at times, sadly realistic) it's replete with the expected romantic and other interpersonal conflicts resulting in bruised feelings and resentment, which in turn leads to various people going off into the night alone to sulk before being stalked and killed by an unknown murderer.  Betcha didn't see any of that coming, huh?

Since this movie has no urban legend-spawn local brute with a unique killing tool, getting revenge on all teens for some unfortunate incident in his past, we're left to wonder who the hell is killing Mandy's friends and why.  Is it one of the teens themselves, carrying out some hidden agenda?  Another classmate,  perhaps?  Or is it the seemingly sane ranch hand, Garth?  Why am I asking you? 

At least we know it isn't  Mandy, since we see her elsewhere during each murder.  At any rate, the script does a bland job of building tension between kills since everyone just sits around getting bored, revealing hidden insecurities, or trying to talk Mandy into getting romantic with them until finally people start passing out.  Not exactly edge-of-your-seat stuff there. 

Anyway--not to reveal too much--the next day brings some welcome action and a few surprises which, while not earth-shakingly original, at least break up the monotony and get things percolating.  Director Jonathan Levine has a knack for moving the camera in interesting ways, using those wide-open spaces around Red's family ranch to good advantage and staging the action well. 

The emphasis is on Jacob Foreman's lean story rather than how graphic  the kills are, so, with some exceptions, there's a surprising lack of gore effects during the mainly conventional shootings and stabbings.  In fact,  while this film may fit snugly into the stalker-slasher genre,  it doesn't really qualify as a horror flick. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 5.1 sound.  Subtitles are in English and Spanish.  The sole extra is an informative and personable commentary track by director Levine.

Despite being a mostly unexceptional example of its genre,  ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE is a good-looking film which manages to avoid being terminally boring.  The somewhat rousing finale edges it into "worth seeing" territory, and I wasn't left at the fadeout feeling as though I'd wasted  my time.

DEMENTIA 13 -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 2/27/16

 

One of my most vivid childhood memories is of accompanying my older brother to a Saturday screening of a new horror movie with the puzzling title, DEMENTIA 13 (1963).

The stark black-and-white photography and dreary Irish castle setting were spooky enough, but it was this film which would introduce me, for the first time, to genuine, grueling screen terror.

The credit "Directed by Francis Coppola" meant nothing to me or anyone else at time--the future creative genius behind the GODFATHER films was merely an aspiring Roger Corman protege' helming his first "real" movie--and neither did the rather mundane plot about an eccentric Irish family, the Halorans, who were obsessed with the drowning death of the clan's youngest child Kathleen several years earlier.

I wasn't yet a fan of the wonderful Luana Anders (EASY RIDER, THE LAST DETAIL, NIGHT TIDE) who played Louise, John Halloran's scheming wife.  In the opening scenes, we see John die of a heart attack and Louise dump his body into a lake lest his death be discovered and she lose her share of the family fortune.

Nor did I know that William Campbell, playing oldest Haloran son Richard, would later guest star in two of my favorite episodes of "Star Trek: The Original Series" (he was Trelane in "The Squire of Gothos" and Koloth in "The Trouble With Tribbles"), or that Patrick Magee as family doctor Caleb would feature so prominently in Stanley Kubrick's sci-fi classic A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.

All I knew at the time was that part of Louise's inheritance scheme involved stripping down to her bra and panties and taking a creepy late-night swim in the same murky pond in which little Kathleen had drowned. 

What happens when she resurfaces--and the spoilers are right there in the poster and trailer themselves--is one of the homages to the likes of PSYCHO that Corman instructed Coppola to include in his script.  (Corman also got Jack Hill to write and direct additional scenes to pad the running time and gore content, to Coppola's dismay.) 

It's also the first-ever movie scene that really and truly scared the ever-livin' crap outta me.

But DEMENTIA 13 isn't done yet, because later there's a beheading (also a first for me) and other creepy goings-on thanks to an axe-wielding maniac who seems to be stalking the Halorans. 

Unfortunately, much of these doings have lost their edge over the years--the leisurely-paced story is dishwater dull at times and most of the scares no longer chill the blood quite like they used to. 

But the film still has a strong Monster Kid watchability factor and (thanks largely to the authentic Irish locations) eerie, Gothic atmosphere to burn.

Hearing music maestro Ronald Stein's creepy, harpsichord-based theme music kick in during those pleasantly-morbid opening titles always makes me want the soundtrack CD.  Come to think of it, I feel that way about all of his film scores. 

After seeing DEMENTIA 13 that first time back in '63, I found its double-bill companion (Ray Milland's colorful PREMATURE BURIAL) a relief for my jangled nerves much the same way DR. WHO AND THE DALEKS would help me recover from the traumatic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD some years later. 

Modern viewers may find this hard to imagine since the film now plays as a slow but satisfying murder mystery with some mildly effective scares.  But it was my PSYCHO, and lovely Luana Anders' midnight swim was my shower scene. 

Read our review of ROGER CORMAN HORROR CLASSICS VOL.1

FEAR PHARM -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/27/20

 

"We're just a fun family corn maze," Hershel (John Littlefield, SLIPSTREAM) tells the four dubious teens who have just been promised that they'll win a substantial cash prize if they make it through said corn maze in less than two hours in the horror-thriller FEAR PHARM (2019).

Of course, he leaves out the part where he's a psychotic killer and so are his hulking Leatherface-clone sons and freaky blonde psycho-bitch daughter Gemma (Aimee Stolte), who will do their best to hunt down, terrorize, and finally kill all four of them for reasons that are the stuff of creepy local urban legend.

The four teens, all aspiring actors looking for that first big role, are the usual stuff of this kind of flick, including happy horndogger Brandon (Houston Stevenson), his cute blonde girlfriend Wendy (Emily Sweet), conceited but likable jerk Rustin (Chris Leary), and Rustin's more sensible sister Melanie (Tiana Tuttle).

What's nice is that they're a pleasant enough bunch and we don't start rooting for them all to die horribly from the moment they open their mouths.  This helps give the story genuine tension rather than simply being an excuse to rack up a body count.

It's also nice that the cast is pretty excellent as is the film's sharp-looking visual sense, including an abundance of sweeping drone-camera shots which prove that somewhere there actually is an honest-to-goodness corn maze stretching as far as the eye can see which serves as a stunning found location for director Dante Yore to do his stuff.

What he in fact does after all the careful build-up in the film's first act is to put us through a consistently suspenseful ordeal along with those four hapless teens who discover that not only is the corn maze pretty darn difficult to navigate, but it's also filled with (a) costumed actors portraying scary monsters, and (b) Hershel's bloodthirsty offspring who actually are scary monsters.

The result is a film with plenty of action, scares, and eventually a good amount of gore, especially when Gemma gets herself a captive and whips out her skinning knife.

As the violence intensifies and the teens' situation becomes heartrendingly dire, you might start getting sort of a TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE vibe with a bit of a Rob Zombie-ish feel as well.  The plot takes an interesting turn when we finally discover the twisted method to all the madness.

Despite its occasional lighthearted air and flashes of satire, FEAR PHARM is a rather potent dose of predicament horror whose story and production values transcend what appears to be a relatively low budget, and it succeeds in being good entertainment for fans of the genre.

THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted on 2/7/21

 

Yes, it's true--we actually exist. Who are we? We are Seth Green fans, and if you're one of us, then you're already in for a treat when you watch THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS (Severin Films, 2001), because Seth Green (THE ITALIAN JOB, "Robot Chicken", UNHITCHED) plays a featured role as a crazy guy, and he's just as crazy as you'd want Seth Green to be.

Now that I've devoted the opening paragraph of this review to Seth Green, here's a rundown on this kooky, mind-bending, and totally absorbing little psychological horror story that's like a sumptuous combination of H.P. Lovecraft and "The Joe Schmo Show."
    
In a nutty nutshell: Trevor Blackburn (Andras Jones, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4) and his lovely lover Faith (Beth Bates) are taking part in a dark ritual that involves violent, bloody death and a strange supernatural book not unlike the one in THE EVIL DEAD. 

 

Things don't go as planned, and Trevor awakens from a four-year coma to find himself guilty of Faith's murder and confined to the "House of Love" with an assortment of other mentally warped crazies (including Seth Green as "Douglas") under the supervision of the oddly oddball Dr. Thalama (Wendy Robie, TWIN PEAKS).

Unfortunately, the whole project is operated, and electronically spied upon, by Dr. Ek, who is played by Jeffrey Combs (RE-ANIMATOR, DARK HOUSE) as only Jeffrey Combs could play him, meaning we already know from the start that Dr. Ek is either evil, insane, or (most likely) a delightfully manic combination of the two, and that he's definitely to no good.

 

Director Jeremy Kasten (THE DEAD ONES, THE THEATRE BIZARRE, THE WIZARD OF GORE remake) keeps us guessing what's real and what's in Trevor's possibly schizoid imagination (we keep seeing flashes of him having his brain operated upon in a rather medieval-looking manner).

Kasten also takes great delight in twisting reality into pretzels while leading us up one dark corridor and down the other in that creepy old house as Trevor himself wonders if his housemates are for real or just actors playing crazed characters (hence the "Joe Schmo Show" reference), with a bloody murder or two amongst the group adding to the fun.

Performances are fine--our Seth has never been better, Ted Raimi (SKINNER) gives his usual likable performance as a visiting doctor who becomes progressively aghast at Dr. Ek's methods, and Jeffrey Combs just inhabits a role like this like nobody else can. Alice Cooper pops up in an early cameo as (what else?) a crazy guy.

 

 

 

Production values are positively lush considering the meager budget, and the film always looks pleasingly atmospheric.  A good score helps as well, including a cool end credits song that takes the old standard "That Old Black Magic" and turns it into a grungey Goth dirge.

Trevor's housemates include nutty nympho Amy (Shannon Hart Cleary), who likes to seduce men and then accuse them of rape the next morning, and equally troubled Ronald (Jerry Hauck), who is in constant physical and verbal conflict with his own hand puppet.

Twists and turns abound in this fevered slog through the haunted thrill ride of Trevor's own warped imagination. Finding out whether he's really crazy or if it's all just a product of Dr. Ek's highly unethical medical "experiments" (or even something else altogether!) is just one of the pleasures I derived while taking part in THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS.




Buy it from Severin Films



All-New Special Features:

    Cast & Crew 20 Year Pandemic Reunion & Story of Making THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS, featuring Jeremy Kasten, Seth Green, Jeffrey Combs, Tim Heidecker and many more
    Alice Cooper & Jeffrey Combs Internet Reunion
    Horror Scholar Adam Rockoff Contextualizes THE ATTIC EXPEDITIONS

Disc Specs:

     Scanned in 2k from the original negative
    Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1
    Audio: English 5.1 & 2.0
    Closed Captions: English
    Region 0/Free

THE BABY -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/12/11

 

If you remember "The ABC Movie of the Week" or have seen some of the low-key but weird thrillers that showed up on it during the 70s (BAD RONALD, DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK), you should recognize the dingy, suburban gothic style of THE BABY (1973).  Right down to the bland opening titles, mawkish musical score by Gerald Fried, and television-level production values, this looks like the typical made-for-TV chiller from that era. 

Surprising, then, that not only is this a theatrical film directed by Ted Post (MAGNUM FORCE, BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES), but it contains language, sexual situations, violence, and an overall air of perversion that would've had the TV censors working overtime with their scissors.

Ruth Roman does her patented "tough gal" act as swaggering single mom Mrs. Wadsworth, who, along with her grown daughters Germaine (Marianna Hill) and Alba (Suzanne Zenor), must care for her son Baby, a twenty-one-year-old with the mind of an infant.  Their new social worker, the recently-widowed Ann (Anjanette Comer, a familiar TV face at the time), expresses great interest in Baby, which raises the jealous Mrs. Wadsworth's suspicions.  When it appears as though Ann may be scheming to take Baby away from her, she and her deranged daughters take deadly action.



The plot of this languidly-paced tale unfolds slowly but is dotted with enough bizarre incidents to keep things interesting.  The first one occurs when a babysitter (Erin O'Reilly) is caught breastfeeding Baby and is soundly thrashed by Mrs. Wadsworth and the girls.  Just hearing Ruth Roman say lines like "Nothing happened?  With your damn tit in his mouth and nothing happened?" is weird enough.  Seeing the babysitter begin to change Baby's diaper as he's stretched out in his giant crib conjures up disturbing images of diaper service men in hazmat suits.

The attitudes of Baby's sisters toward their developmentally-challenged brother are also less than wholesome.  Flaky blonde Alba, bless her, takes after him with a cattle prod when he displays too much progress (such as saying "Ma-ma") in one of my favorite scenes.  "Baby doesn't walk!  Baby doesn't talk!" she shrieks between zaps.  The horny Germaine, meanwhile, has even more perverse uses for her "baby" brother.  Nothing's explicitly shown, but it's still enough to make you go "Yuck!"

But perhaps the most off-putting thing about THE BABY is David Manzy's insipid antics in the title role.  He reminds me of a porn actor who's been asked to perform beyond his range.  Whether Baby's sucking on a bottle, frolicking around on the floor, or bawling and making pouty faces in his crib (with real baby noises dubbed in as he mugs it up), I just want to throttle the goofy bastard. 

(On the other hand, though--how, exactly, would a better actor approach such a role?  It would be interesting to see somebody like Sean Penn strap on the giant diaper and go for an Oscar.)

One of the film's key sequences is a birthday party for Baby, during which Mrs. Wadsworth and the girls make their move against Ann.  This dreary, dreadfully unhip bash, with middle-aged losers in mod attire dancing to quacky "rock" music, is somebody's idea of what a wild party looked like in the 70s, and it's cheesier than a platter of movie-theater nachos.  The great Michael Pataki appears here to wincingly comic effect as a bushy-haired horndog.  With the film's furious finale, THE BABY at last serves up a helping of Grand Guignol horror as Roman and Comer huff and puff their way through a hokey but bloody clash that leads to a nice little head-scratching surprise ending.



Ted Post's no-frills direction gets the job done and his two leading ladies deliver the goods.  Anjanette Comer was never all that forceful as an actress, so she gives her character a suitably vulnerable quality.  Hollywood veteran Ruth Roman, on the other hand, is the epitome of the brassy broad and her hot-blooded histronics are the most fun part of the whole movie.  Marianna Hill (Fredo Corleone's wife in THE GODFATHER PART II) and Suzanne Zenor, who played the "Chrissy" role in the first pilot for "Three's Company", hold up their end of the film's oddball quotient.

The DVD from Severin Films, restored from the original film negative, is in 1.66:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital sound.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of telephone interviews with director Ted Post and star David Manzy, and a trailer.

Those seeking the balls-out bizarro shock-horror flick promised by the posters will be disappointed, since it comes off more as one of those early TV-movies with forbidden exploitation elements tacked on.  But this is what makes THE BABY such a strangely interesting little curio.  If you're in the mood for something unabashedly off-the-wall, then it should be worth your while to check it out.

HOUSE BY THE LAKE -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/13/17

 

At first it sounded like yet another case of dopey teens being stalked and terrorized while partying in somebody's parents' lakehouse.  But HOUSE BY THE LAKE (2017), to my very pleasant surprise, turned out to be a serious, adult chiller that establishes a foreboding atmosphere and sustains the suspense almost all the way to the end.

Almost, that is, because this is one of those movies that's so good until the very end leaves me wondering how they could've gotten so much right and then--in football parlance--fumbled the ball on the one-yard line.

The set-up is beautifully simple--workaholic Karen (Anne Dudek, SHADOW PEOPLE, 10 ITEMS OR LESS) and failure-at-life Scott (James Callis, "Battlestar Galactica", MERLIN AND THE BOOK OF BEASTS) are a troubled couple hoping that a vacation "away from it all" in his parents' lavish lake house will not only help mend their relationship but also be good for their autistic daughter Emma (Amiah Miller), a painfully introverted girl who can barely stand to be touched.

A vivacious young nanny named Gwen (Natasha Bassett) shows up the next day and immediately hits it off with Emma, who communicates mostly through her crayon drawings.  They're so tight, in fact, that it stirs feelings of jealousy in control-freak Karen, who also fears that Scott is becoming attracted to the younger woman.

What really makes things start to get spooky, however, is the appearance of a creepy old codger (Michael Bowen, KILL BILL VOL.1, THE LOST, DEADGIRL) from out of nowhere who claims to live on the lake and shows what seems to be an unhealthy interest in Emma. 

Karen is greatly concerned, and is mortified when Scott tries to pass it off as nothing.  This, along with Karen's jealousy of Gwen, and Scott's ever-growing feelings of crippling inadequacy, only serves to drive the wedge even deeper between Karen and Scott.

The movie really hits its stride as a chiller with a series of spooky sleepwalking incidents involving Emma, who also begins to talk about her new friend "The Fish Man."  Amiah Miller is the rare scary-movie kid who can not only act but is able to affect a "scary face" without looking silly.

Emma's eventual disappearance causes her parents to take the "Fish Man" stories more seriously and will help drive HOUSE BY THE LAKE into bonafide thriller territory even as we're debating with ourselves over whether or not there's something supernatural at work. 

Director Adam Gierasch (AUTOPSY, NIGHT OF THE DEMONS), working with a clean, no-nonsense style and a fine cast, has a way of building and maintaining suspense along with a genuine sense of dread that keeps us on edge as we wait for the worst to happen.  This anticipation gives the film a compelling quality that teases and scintillates as it reaches its climax.

What actually does happen at the end is, for me, a case of being too literal and showing too much.  After such a subtle and skillful build-up, it's nothing less than jarring.  In my opinion, much more should've been left to the viewer's imagination in a closing sequence that could've been truly haunting but, instead, looks almost like something out of THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS.

I really wanted to give HOUSE BY THE LAKE a glowing review while I was watching it, and indeed had most of the darn thing typed up in my mind when those last few minutes happened.  Maybe an instant-replay would prove me wrong, but despite the rest of the game being a real nail-biter, that last play definitely looked like a fumble to me. 

INFERNUM -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 8/14/19

 

After seeing so many big-budget horror flicks that depend on gore, flashy effects, and sudden loud noises to try and get scares, it's nice to see someone who can take a low budget and some real talent and make a movie that's genuinely old-school scary.

Which is what writer-director Dutch Marich (MISERABLE SINNERS, HUNTING, BLEED OUT) does with his new film, INFERNUM (Indican Pictures, 2019). Great locations, limited interiors, and pretty much no special effects combine with a capable cast and imaginative script (and yes, one or two well-earned jump scares) to fashion a tale that chills the blood in a way you don't see very often anymore.

In the opening, a little girl's parents leave their camping tent one night to investigate a roaring noise in the woods (later described as a "paranormal rift" through which one may hear the hellish sound of "wailing and gnashing of teeth") and disappear. 

Twenty-five years later, Camille (Suziey Block, DUDE BRO PARTY MASSACRE III, MEANING OF VIOLENCE) is still dealing with her terror and loss by interviewing people with similar experiences as part of an art-school graduation project.

When she misses an anniversary dinner with her boyfriend Hunter (Michael Barbuto, HUNTING, HAPPY CAMP, BLEED OUT), he loses it and goes off on how she embarrasses him with her "a loud noise ate my parents" obsession.

Hunter also chafes at how much time she spends with young James (Clinton Roper Elledge, RUSH), a gawky film student making a movie about Camille and helping with her project's audio-visuals.

This part of INFERNUM is fairly well-done, but it only becomes apparent later how director Marich is setting us up with this borderline-tiresome "lovers' spat" routine just so he can spring the scary on us later.

This comes when Camille and James hear of a mysterious loud noise in a forest in Nevada and drive there right away to investigate, although Camille insists on not getting too close. 

When the road to their destination is closed due to an avalanche, they must instead take an antique museum train that has been pressed into service to transport people to their homes. 

Hunter, it turns out, has followed them and ends up on the train, too.  The three of them are in the middle of an awkward situation in the caboose as we wait for the train to reach its destination so things can finally pick up. (Meanwhile, the night shots of the train traveling through the darkness are beautiful.)

INFERNUM goes from "okay" to "masterful" when they wake up from a brief nap to find that the train has stopped in the middle of a dark tunnel, with no one else aboard except for a woman named Rita (Sarah Schoofs, GUT, BLACK WAKE, THEATER OF TERROR) who has lost her husband.  The engineer, the conductor, and the other passengers are all gone. 

The acting gets better and more natural as the characters go from wandering hesitantly through this unknown situation into flailing about in sheer terror when all the lights go out and that familiar roaring noise starts rushing over the exterior of the train.

One really gets the feeling of being isolated and alone in a very dark, very spooky place, thanks to skillful staging and direction, with shots that are stark clashes of darkness and light conveying eerie, oppressive gloom. 

In fact, this film has more atmosphere and suspense than ten average horror flicks smashed together.  And as is so often the case, it's what we don't see but are forced to imagine that is the scariest.

Of course, not all filmmakers can pull off such a thing, but here our imaginations are working overtime to help conjure up whatever awful force is menacing the poor souls on that train as the fear factor continues to rise.

INFERNUM manages to evoke the immediacy of the best "found footage" films, with all the breathless suspense and creeping terror but without the awkward contrivances.  It would make a hell of an extended "Twilight Zone" episode.

SCREAM 4 -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 9/25/11

 

I really don't remember all that much about the first three movies in the "SCREAM" franchise except that they were pretty fun and, at times, pretty scary.  Now that I've seen SCREAM 4 (2011), I think that it may be my favorite one in the entire series.  Of course, this may simply be due to the fact that it's the freshest in my mind at the moment, but it's still a whole lot of scary fun.

Wes Craven (LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, THE HILLS HAVE EYES) directs with his usual sure hand, and most of the surviving cast are back along with several key crewmembers, giving this new installment the feeling of a genuine homecoming.  Neve Campbell's Sidney Prescott, the series' perennial "final girl", also returns home to the town of Woodsboro to promote a book she's written about her experiences, setting off a whole new series of bloody murders by the most recent psycho (or psychos) to don the Ghostface mask.

Things start off with a bang as a pretitles scare-a-thon teases us with a string of movie-within-a-movie fakeouts (complete with the usual surprise guest stars) before ending with an actual double-murder.  This gets Sheriff Dewey Riley (David Arquette) and his wife Gale Weathers-Riley (Courtney Cox) back into their old form as bumbling cop and abrasive newshound.  Sidney, meanwhile, is staying with relatives Kate Roberts (Mary McDonnell) and teenaged cousin Jill (Emma Roberts), who becomes Ghostface's new main target.
 

SCREAM creator Kevin Williamson's script deftly balances generous amounts of humor with several well-crafted suspense sequences that create sustained tension before erupting into panic, screaming, and death.  The fact that the killer could be anyone--Jill's stalkerish ex-boyfriend Trevor (Nico Tortorella), Dewey's smitten deputy Judy (a lovable Marley Shelton), or even the school's resident Cinema Club nerds Robbie and Charlie (Eric Knudsen, Rory Culkin)--keeps us guessing as sudden attack can come anytime or anywhere.  The fact that everyone in town is aware of what's going on, and practically know that they're in a horror movie, gives the whole thing a fun, edgy Halloween feeling.

The first SCREAM established the series' self-referential attitude (an influence still being felt in slasher-flick land) and this sequel continues that coy wink-wink stuff to the point of being aware of its own self-awareness.  Robbie and Charlie reintroduce "the rules" that dictate basic slasher film behavior during a Cinema Club meeting, but it turns out that they've changed with the times and are less rigid and predictable--hinting that anything can happen here as well.  Still, when Sidney's flaky press agent finds herself alone in a dark parking garage at night, and when two cops guarding Sidney's house start talking about how cops guarding houses in movies always get killed, we know exactly what's going to happen and the movie knows we know.

The two film geeks also make some funny-but-true comments about "shriekquels" and "scream-makes" while observing that "the unexpected is the new cliche'."  Horror film fans should appreciate all this while also noting the ton of references to classic genre titles throughout the movie.  Even Hayden Panettiere's petite good-girl character Kirby (one of the few who eluded my suspicion during the movie) reels off trivia about yesterday's splatter flicks like a true-blue gorehound.

Admittedly, the first half of SCREAM 4 was breezy and enjoyable but not all that noteworthy, and I found myself thinking it would be yet another case of a sequel too far.  Things begin to pick up, however, as the mystery deepens and Ghostface's attacks get more brazen and hair-raisingly suspenseful.  The final act is riveting, containing a pretty startling reveal and lots of action that kept me on the edge of my seat during both the first climax and the surprising epilogue. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay and Dimension Films is in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish.  Extras include a ten-minute behind-the-scenes featurette, deleted and alternate scenes (including an alternate opening and extended ending), a gag reel, and a chummy commentary with Wes Craven, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Roberts, and (via telephone) Neve Campbell.

I thought the third film would be the last word in the series and was, in fact, stretching the premise a bit thin.  But SCREAM 4 is a solid, satisfying, entertaining new chapter, one of the best films of its kind I've seen in years.  Is it the saga's final capper, or will Craven and Williamson scream again?

BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS -- DVD Reviews by Porfle

Originally posted on 1/30/10

 

 

As great as Universal Studios' classic "Frankenstein" movies of the 30s and 40s are, there was always one key ingredient curiously missing from all of them--beautiful naked babes having sex. Whether this was merely an oversight or, for some inexplicable reason, directors such as James Whale and Rowland V. Lee intentionally omitted this vital element, legendary "B" moviemaker Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia Entertainment has finally corrected this problem with the release of BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN (2009).

And rest assured, there's a veritable buttload of steamy softcore, simulated sex scenes in this film, with the story serving as a sort of connective tissue between them. It's kind of a shame, in fact, that we don't get to see more of that story since it's really fun and the actors all give exceptional comic performances. Unlike some preening 70s porno stud like Randy West donning a pair of glasses and trying to be "funny", Frankie Cullen is genuinely, cartoonishly amusing as Dr. Victor Frankenstein, a nebbishy scientist who gets booted (yes, "booted") out of his university teaching job for banging a buxom cheerleader on his desk.

Tony Marino is also funny as Victor's rival, Clive, who gleefully reports the Doc's carnal activities to Professor Van Sloane (actor-filmmaker Ted Newsom in fine comic form). As it happens, both Cullen and Marino happen to be a couple of pretty buffed-out hunks, which should keep the straight chicks and gay dudes in the audience occupied while the heterosexual males get an eyefull of the gorgeous female-type characters. These include voluptuous blonde knockout Brandin Rackley as Dr. Frankenstein's ditzy lab assistant Ingrid, exotic Christine Nguyen as Clive's sexy wife Claudia, and the delightfully winsome Alexis Texas as the aforementioned cheerleader, Debbie.

Retreating to his castle in Transylvania, Victor vows to prove his theories to his skeptical colleagues by bringing life to the dead, which in this case is the tall, lissom Jayden Cole as "Eve." She doesn't actually wear a bikini--more like two strips of gauze--but that doesn't matter since she gets naked pretty quick anyway. A carnal encounter with Ingrid reveals Eve's tendency to crackle with electricity whenever they connect the minus to the minus, so to speak.

Later, Victor returns to the States along with Eve and Ingrid, where, at a cocktail party attended by Clive, Claudia, Professor Van Sloane, and Dr. Waldman (Ron Ford with an enormous fake moustache), he plans to reveal Eve as his triumphant creation after she's sufficiently impressed everyone. Eve does this by having sex with Clive and then engaging in a three-way with Ingrid and Claudia (Claudia also finds time to get it on with Victor as well) which ultimately comes to an unfortunate and, to me, rather abrupt conclusion.

Nicholas Medina's direction is quite good and Sherman Scott's screenplay is stocked with fun references to the classic Frankenstein films. Aside from all the obvious name-dropping, the opening scene has Victor illustrating a scientific procedure that seems inspired by a certain Dr. Neimann from HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (dog included) and Ingrid is obviously inspired by Teri Garr's character in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, albeit with even more impressive "knockers." One of the film's best features is its cinematography, which looks just plain great, and the musical score is also easy on the ears.

Personally, I find long, drawn-out sex scenes to be pretty boring after the first minute or so, but the ones in this film benefit from truly great-looking performers and skillful execution. Add to this a nutty cast, lighthearted script, and pleasing production values, and BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, while lacking a satisfactory ending, is a creation that's more than the sum of its parts.

TWILIGHT VAMPS (2009), on the other hand, isn't quite as enjoyable comedy-wise but maintains the same high standards in regard to the sex scenes while boasting pretty much the same cast. This time Frankie Cullen and Tony Marino play Jack and Roger, a couple of office drones who decide to unwind at a flashy new strip club called Shadows, which just happens to be a front for a bunch of beautiful vampires who drain male customers of their money, sexual energies, and blood.

Having just been dumped by his girlfriend Louise after discovering that she was a dyke interested only in banging her girlfriends and emptying his bank account, Jack falls for sexy blonde dancer Tabitha (Brandin Rackley) while Roger is smitten with Angela (Christine Nguyen). Before long, however, Jack discovers the blood-splattered truth and is forced to become an amateur vampire hunter armed only with a bottle of holy water that's gone past its expiration date.

With the same above-average production values, cinematography, and performances as BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, TWILIGHT VAMPS is breezy low-budget entertainment that's pleasing to the eye. In addition to the usual plethora of simulated sex scenes which are equally well-done, the strip club setting affords lucky viewers the opportunity to watch the leading ladies show off their considerable poledancing skills. Ultra-fabulous babe Brandin Rackley, who has instantly leapt into the top five of my favorite actresses of this week, is especially awesome in this department (although the exquisite Christine Nguyen offers her close competition in terms of hotness). The opposite of her goofy "Ingrid" character from BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN, Brandin's "Tabitha" is sublimely gorgeous and seductive. In fact, she should be receiving my marriage proposal in the mail any day now, and my fingers are crossed that she'll check the "yes" box. Wish me luck!

Ron Ford returns as Jack's unappreciative boss, Mr. Cartwright, this time sporting an outlandishly fake beard, while Ted Newsom shows up again as a terse, suspicious police detective who questions Jack in regard to one of the vampire murders. In addition to giving his usual solid performance, Ted gets to reprise one of the most celebrated quotes from Ed Wood's classic PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and delivers the line with much relish. (Or whatever the craft services people were serving that day.)

Once again, Nicholas Medina handles the directing chores while also contributing the screenplay, which, according to the opening titles, is "based on the poem by Edgar Allen Poe." What poem by Edgar Allen Poe? I don't remember him writing anything called "Twilight Vamps." Maybe it's one of his lesser-known works. The associate producer is identified as one "Thorn Sherman", although it's unclear whether or not this is the same Thorn Sherman portrayed by actor James Best in THE KILLER SHREWS. If so, my hat's off to the guy for defeating those horrible monsters and scoring Miss Universe 1957 in the bargain.

Infinity Entertainment Group's DVDs of TWILIGHT VAMPS and BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN are presented in 16 x 9 widescreen and 2.0 Dolby Stereo. Special features include original trailers.

TWILIGHT VAMPS is filled with visual delights and, while not quite as much giddy fun, makes a fitting companion piece to BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN. Both films are worth checking out for the sex scenes alone, with the added benefit of talented actors and production values that are clearly superior to the usual low-budget fare. So the next time the guys are over at your place for the usual Saturday night drunken wing-ding, leave GIRLS GONE WILD on the shelf and pop one of these babies into the DVD player, and go nuts.