"Surveillance" and "Julia"...arriving August 18 from Magnolia Home Entertainment

Julia Ormond And Bill Pullman Uncover A Vicious Tale Of Roadside Rampage In SURVEILLANCE, Arriving On DVD And Blu-ray Disc August 18 From The Magnet Label Of Magnolia Home Entertainment

“A Sinister thriller with a real twist.” – Daily Star
“Heart-stopping horror all the way.” – The Sun
Winner Of The NYC Horror Film Festival For Best Actress And Best Director

When FBI agents Elizabeth Anderson (Julia Ormond) and Sam Hallaway (Bill Pullman) arrive at a local police station to investigate a series of gruesome murders, they have three different stories of the roadside massacre. However as the Feds begin to expose the fragile little details each witness conceals, they discover that uncovering ‘the truth’ comes at a very big cost. Written and directed by Jennifer Lynch (Boxing Helena) and produced by Oscar®-nominee David Lynch, SURVEILLANCE, stars Julia Ormond, Bill Pullman and Pell James. “An enjoyably dark thriller with weird characters and an intriguing central mystery,” (ViewLondon) the film won the top award at the Sitges International Film Festival.

Buy it at Amazon.com



Academy Award®-Winner Tilda Swinton Stars In The Extortion Thriller JULIA, Arriving On DVD August 18 From Magnolia Home Entertainment

“‘Julia’ takes you on a wild ride you won’t soon forget.”- ReelzChannel
“…the actress is disturbingly dead-on and the place she takes us is very ugly indeed.”- Los Angeles Times
“Swinton is astounding…”- The Times, UK

Winner of the Evening Standard British Film Awards for Best Actress – Tilda Swinton

Tilda Swinton stars as Julia, an alcoholic, who between shots of vodka and one-night-stands, gets by on nickel-and-dime jobs. Increasingly lonely, her alcohol-induced daily confusion reinforces her sense that life has dealt her a losing hand. Seeing a financial opportunity after encountering a woman estranged from her son, Julia throws herself into a criminal plot that escalates beyond anything she ever imagined.

Buy it at Amazon.com

GHOST CAT -- DVD review by porfle

This 2003 Canadian made-for-TV film was originally known as "Mrs. Ashboro's Cat" and has appeared as an Animal Planet original movie. Now, North American Motion Pictures is giving it a Sept. 22 DVD release as the somewhat more intriguingly-titled GHOST CAT, with special emphasis in the ads on Oscar-nominated Ellen Page (HARD CANDY, JUNO, X3) in an early starring role.

At first I thought this was going to be a zany combination of THAT DARN CAT and CASPER, but it's actually a pretty serious movie. Michael Ontkean ("Twin Peaks", "The Rookies") plays Wes Merritt, a recently-widowed writer moving to his deceased wife's New England hometown with his young daughter Natalie (Page). While house-hunting they meet a nice elderly woman named Mrs. Ashboro (Shirley Knight) whose weaselly banker nephew Boyd (Tom Barnett) is trying to get her to sell her house so he can replace the money he's been embezzeling before the bank examiners find out.

Mrs. Ashboro withdraws her savings from the bank with the intention of helping her friend Brenda (Lori Hallier, MY BLOODY VALENTINE, MONTE WALSH) who's being pressured to sell her animal shelter to a crooked land developer named Riker (Nigel Bennett). But soon after stashing the money in her house, Mrs. Ashboro dies suddenly and her loyal cat Margaret expires soon after out of grief. Wes and Natalie move into Mrs. Ashboro's now-vacated house and soon become involved in Brenda's struggle to keep her animal shelter as the increasingly ruthless Boyd and Riker join forces against her. Meanwhile, the good guys discover they have an unexpected ally--the ghost of Mrs. Ashboro's cat, Margaret.

Low-key and thoughtful, GHOST CAT has a subtle charm and warmth that sets it apart from the Disney Channel-type film you might expect. The characters, for the most part, behave in a realistic manner. This is especially true of Wes and Natalie, who still display a wistful melancholy after having lost wife and mother respectively, and Brenda, whose lifelong dream of operating her animal shelter is being wrested away from her. Tom Barnett's "Boyd" comes closest to stepping over the line as the stereotypical villain, but even he has an air of clumsy desperation not unlike that of William H. Macy's "Jerry Lundergaard" in FARGO, which keeps him believable.

I liked Lori Hallier as the "hardware widow" in 2003's MONTE WALSH and her down-to-earth performance here is very good. Ontkean does a nice job as the understanding single dad (who you just know is going to get romantic with Brenda sooner or later), and Ellen Page manages to portray a teenage girl without being flighty or precious or insufferable, which is no small feat. Of course, Shirley Knight is wonderful as Mrs. Ashboro and it's a shame her character disappears so soon. The rest of the cast is up to par, particularly Shawn Roberts as Natalie's budding love interest Kurt, whose troubled past makes him a suspect in some of the vandalism that takes place at the animal shelter.

I can't recall any scenes that are supposed to be out and out funny--in fact, the funniest thing about GHOST CAT is that it could've gotten along as a fairly serious drama without having a ghost cat in it at all. Not that I'd want that, since I'm a cat lover and Margaret is a very sweet and likable character. But she isn't really necessary to the plot at all and exists mainly to either lighten things up or to give the filmmakers an excuse to include some mildly spooky stuff like a seance, or a scene where Natalie is awakened in the middle of the night to find the piano playing itself.

In addition to that, Margaret's other functions are to wake people up when the barn's on fire or to lead them to the hidden stash of money, or to attack the bad guys when they're escaping in their car. And with all of that stuff going on, the last third of the movie manages to build a fair amount of suspense.

Direction by "Road to Avonlea" vet Don McBrearty is good; cinematography has that "Canadian made-for-TV" look. The DVD is 16 x 9 widescreen with 2.0 stereo audio. I watched a screener with no bonus features, but the official disc should include a stills gallery and closed captioning.

GHOST CAT is a fine choice for family viewing since the story is interesting, suspenseful, and heartfelt enough for adults, and since it has a ghost cat in it for the kids. Although they're liable to be disappointed that the movie isn't as kooky or as spooky as they might expect a movie called GHOST CAT to be.

Buy it at Amazon.com

UPDATE!!! New Cover Art for "THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO"

Below is the new cover art for Rob Zombie Presents THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO, coming to DVD and Blu-ray September 22nd from Anchor Bay Entertainment.

For our coverage of this super cool-looking flick (and a look at the old box art), click HERE!

"SERIOUS MOONLIGHT" -- Magnolia Takes North American Rights to Cheryl Hines' Directorial Debut

New York – July 28, 2009 – The Wagner/Cuban Companies' Magnolia Pictures announced today that it has acquired North American rights to Cheryl Hines’ directorial debut, SERIOUS MOONLIGHT. Warmly received at Tribeca this year, SERIOUS MOONLIGHT stars Meg Ryan, Timothy Hutton, Kristen Bell and Justin Long, and is especially notable for being written by sadly missed writer/director Adrienne Shelly (Waitress).

SERIOUS MOONLIGHT is about a troubled marriage on the precipice, centering on a high-powered female attorney who learns that her husband is about to leave her for a much younger woman, and holds him captive until he promises to stay with her and love her forever. The film is a labor of love for Hines, one of the stars of Shelly’s Waitress. SERIOUS MOONLIGHT will be released through Magnolia’s Ultra VOD program, launching the film this November on VOD platforms in 50-million households one month prior to its theatrical release in early December. The film is produced by Andy Ostroy, Ms. Shelly’s husband, and Michael Roiff, who produced Waitress, through their respective companies: all for A films and Night & Day Pictures.

“Cheryl Hines has done a fine job bringing Adrienne Shelly’s final script to life,” said Magnolia President Eamonn Bowles. “SERIOUS MOONLIGHT is a fitting tribute to a sorely missed talent and we’re happy to be bringing it to North American audiences.”"We're very impressed with Magnolia's distribution model, their savvy team, and their overall vision for SERIOUS MOONLIGHT," said Ostroy. "I know Adrienne would be proud of this film and thrilled to have another movie of hers in theatres for audiences to see."

"I'm excited about where Magnolia's going to take us," said Hines. "SERIOUS MOONLIGHT is a dark, funny film, which I think audiences are going to really enjoy, especially Meg and Tim's incredible performances."The deal was negotiated by Magnolia’s Senior Vice President Tom Quinn and Head of Business Affairs Chris Matson, with Andrew Herwitz of the Film Sales Company and attorney John Logigian.

About Magnolia Pictures

Magnolia Pictures (http://www.magpictures.com/) is the theatrical and home entertainment distribution arm of the Wagner/Cuban Companies, a vertically integrated group of media properties co-owned by Todd Wagner and Mark Cuban that also include the Landmark Theatres chain, the production company 2929 Productions, and high definition cable networks HDNet and HDNet Movies. Magnolia's 2008 slate included such critically acclaimed films as James Marsh's Man On Wireand Tomas Alfredson's Let The Right One In. Magnolia's 2009 slate includes James Gray's Two Lovers, The Great Buck Howard starring John Malkovich, Guillermo Arriaga's The Burning Plain, documentary and festival favorite Food, Inc with Michael Pollen and Eric Schlosser, Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience, Kirby Dick's Outrage, Anne Fontaine's The Girl From Monaco, Erick Zonca's Julia, Lynn Shelton's Humpday, Bobcat Goldthwait’s World’s Greatest Dad, The Answer Man starring Jeff Daniels and Lauren Graham, Conor McPherson’s The Eclipse and much more.

NIGHT STALKER -- DVD review by porfle

A specialist in serial killer films as of late, prolific director Ulli Lommel adds to his screen bios of Son of Sam, the D.C. Sniper, the B.T.K. Killer, the Zodiac Killer, and others with 2007's NIGHTSTALKER, which is being given a new DVD release on Sept. 8 by North American Motion Pictures (under the slightly different title NIGHT STALKER). This weak and ponderous effort makes the recent serial killer films of director Michael Feifer look like "Masterpiece Theater" by comparison.

After a brief flashback of Richard Ramirez as a child witnessing his crazy war-veteran uncle shooting his crabby aunt in the head, the film is virtually plotless. Just about the only other thing that doesn't involve Ramirez skulking around the streets of Los Angeles looking for his next victim is the part where he follows an attractive young woman to a party and is introduced to drugs and Satan worshipping. Her supposed influence on him is manifested by several flashbacks during the murder scenes, consisting of quick closeups of her eyes as she chants "Hail Satan!"

Ramirez hates women, we're told early on, and is intent on putting them in their place. Thus, several of his victims in the movie are bitchy women in the process of bawling out some mousey guy, which seems to set off his "stalker sense" and lead him straight to the scene where he starts blasting away. This is repeated several times ad nauseum during the movie--scenes of couples arguing intercut with shots of Ramirez shuffling down the sidewalk sucking on his ever-present Charms Blow Pop until he arrives on the scene. Bad acting ensues, squibs go off, and star Adolph Cortez is directed to play around with the fake blood that's all over the place while director Lommel fiddles with artsy camera angles and editing.

I've always considered Richard Ramirez to be one of the scariest and most menacing of the famous serial killers, but Cortez plays him like a weaselly high-school dropout looking to score some weed for the big Phish concert. He does a voiceover with a lot of talk about evil and "darkness" and all that stuff, and keeps telling us "God is dead", etc., but there's no real connection between these ominous words and the smirking Richard Grieco wannabe who skulks around endlessly sucking on Blow Pops. Cortez goes through so many bags of Blow Pops during the course of this movie that his stomach lining must have developed an impenetrable candy shell.

Unfortunately, this is just about the only unique trait the character has, so Cortez works those damn things like he was doing a softcore porn tease. Besides that, all the script gives him to do is one walking-around sequence after another topped by yet another splattery bang-bang. After awhile the film becomes mainly a showcase for some decent head-shot squib effects.

NIGHT STALKER has that shot-on-video look and a wildly-inappropriate synth score that often works against the desired effect. The DVD image is 16 x 9 anamorphic widescreen with 2.0 stereo sound. I watched a screener with no extras, but the DVD release is supposed to include a stills gallery and closed captioning.

The film rambles along until the boredom finally ends with Ramirez' capture, which is depicted in a cursory but somewhat accurate manner. Then we're shown the following actual quote: "You don't understand me. You are not expected to. You are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience. I am beyond good and evil." These words are more chilling than anything depicted in NIGHT STALKER. Painting a convincing portrait of Richard Ramirez and giving us an inkling of what it must have been like to live in Los Angeles during his reign of terror or to experience one of his attacks are beyond this film.

Buy it at Amazon.com

"METEOR" Crashes Onto DVD Sept. 1

The Fight To Save The Human Race From Annihilation Begins On DVD September 1st From Genius Products And RHI Entertainment

Featuring Earth Shattering Performances By Christopher Lloyd, Jason Alexander, Billy Campbell, Stacy Keach And Marla Sokoloff

SANTA MONICA, CA – Life, as it has existed for over 200,000 years, hangs in the balance as two massive rocks collide in space and head for Earth in METEOR, landing on DVD September 1st from Genius Products and RHI Entertainment.

In a remote observatory, a scientist discovers a meteor approximately three times the size of Mount Everest barreling its way towards the Earth, and alerts the military to avert the impending disaster. As showers of smaller meteorites begin to destroy major cities around the globe, local authorities try to calm the growing panic and herd the masses into safety shelters. The fate of millions rests in the hands of a few as the race against time to save the Planet from ultimate destruction begins.

Starring Emmy® winner Christopher Lloyd (“Taxi,” Back to the Future), Golden Globe® nominees Jason Alexander (“Seinfeld”), Stacy Keach (“Prison Break”) and Billy Campbell (“Once and Again”), as well as Marla Sokoloff (“The Practice”), Ernie Hudson (Dragonball Evolution) and Michael Rooker (“Criminal Minds”), the two-part NBC mini-series, METEOR, features eye-popping special effects, explosive human drama, and hair-raising action and will be available on DVD for the suggested retail price of $19.95.

SYNOPSIS:

Following an unparalleled series of meteor fireballs plummeting toward Earth, a renowned scientist, his assistant, and an on-target conspiracy theorist race against time to expose a government cover-up, reveal the truth, and prevent a massive meteor from destroying the planet.

BASICS

Price: $19.95

Street Date: September 1, 2009

Pre-book Date: July 21, 2009

Catalog Number: 1000839

Language: English 5.1

Running time:188 minutes

Rating: NR

Buy it at Amazon.com

DRIFTER: HENRY LEE LUCAS -- DVD review by porfle

Director Michael Feifer seems intent on chronicling the lives of every vile, lowlife bastard who comes to mind when you think of the term "serial killer." Now, in addition to "B.T.K.", "Boston Strangler: The Untold Story", "Bundy: A Legacy of Evil", "Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck", and "Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield", comes DRIFTER: HENRY LEE LUCAS (2009), a well-made and fairly engaging account of one of the most notorious killers who ever stalked the countryside.

Most of us know at least the basics of Lucas' story--abused physically and mentally by a sadistic mother, he grew up to be a prolific serial killer who traveled with his equally-demented buddy Ottis Toole and Toole's 12-year-old niece Becky, with whom Henry had a romantic affair. After his capture, he confessed to hundreds of murders but later recanted, making it unclear just how many he was actually guilty of.

The screenplay by Feifer and Wood Dickinson generally sticks pretty closely to the facts. The story of Henry's nightmarish childhood proves most affecting, with Ezra Averill as an 8-year-old Henry and Caia Coley giving a frightening performance as his prostitute mother Viola. In addition to making him watch as she has sex with strange men, the monstrous Viola beats Henry brutally, once putting him into a coma with a wooden board, and also abuses her legless husband. When a teenaged Henry (Nicolas Canel) finally kills Viola in what he claims was self-defense, it's pretty much a fist-in-the-air moment.

We see the adult Henry (Antonio Sabato Jr., "The Bold & The Beautiful") commit the first of his serial murders and his fateful meeting with fellow drifter Ottis Toole, played artlessly but with a lot of energy by "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo"'s Kostas Sommer. (The fact that grungy, homely Lucas and Toole are portrayed by a couple of relatively hunky actors is a little disconcerting.) Kelly Curran is good in her debut role as Becky, whose eventual murder by Henry is shown near the beginning of the film and revisited later.

The very familiar John Diehl of such films as "Jurassic Park III" and "Pearl Harbor" plays Sheriff Larabie, a fictionalized version of the actual sheriff who was accused of using Lucas as a "confession machine" in order to clear up hundreds of unsolved murders. Farino, the skeptical D.A. is portrayed by John Burke, whom I know mainly as the co-host of "Personal FX: The Collectibles Show." While there really isn't much of an ending to Lucas' story, the final scenes with him being interviewed by Farino do tie things up rather well and bring the film to a satisfactory conclusion.

Despite several opportunites to do so, director Feifer refrains from filling the screen with excessive blood and gore. One of the more lurid death scenes has Henry forcing his way into a woman's kitchen, knifing her in the back, and then strangling her from behind as she crawls away. Another sequence features the strangulation of a hitchhiker and Henry's subsequent necrophilic violation of her body. A movie theater patron gets his throat cut for daring to "shush" Henry and Ottis, and there are several knifings.

For the most part, however, the violence is quick and Feifer doesn't linger over it, preferring to concentrate on the story. The only drawback to this is that the sheer horror of Lucas' crimes is rarely adequately conveyed by this matter-of-fact approach. Direction and photography are consistently good, displaying a fair amount of style and imagination that helps keep things interesting even though there's not really that much of a plot.

The film is presented in 16 x 9 anamorphic widescreen with 5.1 surround and 2.0 stereo audio. My screener contained no bonus features, but the DVD should include a commentary with Feifer and Sabato, stills gallery, and Spanish subtitles.

DRIFTER: HENRY LEE LUCAS does a pretty good job of showing us, in effect, "How to Make a Monster." The scenes of Lucas' childhood are harrowing and sad, yet Antonio Sabato Jr. manages to convey the idea that there's just something inherently evil about Henry (albeit an infinitely banal evil) regardless of his upbringing. While "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer" and the lesser-known gem "Confessions of a Serial Killer" remain the last word on the subject as far as I'm concerned, Michael Feifer's version of the story is both visually interesting and perhaps somewhat closer to the real facts than its predecessors.

Buy it at Amazon.com

"THIRST" From Director Park Chan-wook -- Check Out This New Clip!

Winner, Jury Prize, 2009 Cannes International Film Festival
Park Chan-wook is recognized the world over as one of the most creative storytellers in cinema. With his startlingly distinctive plots, violent subject matter, and sensual mise-en-scène, the writer/director has earned accolades from critics and audiences across the globe, presenting his films at the most vital and influential international film festivals.

Among his films are Joint Security Area, the boxoffice smash that marked his first teaming with Thirst star Song Kang-ho; Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, which won the jury prize for Best Picture at the Philadelphia Film Festival; Old Boy, which won the Grand Prix at the 2004 Cannes International Film Festival; the "Never Ending Peace and Love" segment of the omnibus feature If You Were Me and the "Cut" segment of the omnibus feature Three…Extremes; Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, which won two awards at the 2005 Venice International Film Festival; and I’m a Cyborg, But That’s OK, which earned him the Alfred Bauer Award at the 2007 Berlin International Film Festival.

Synopsis
A priest becomes a vampire…another man’s wife is coveted…a deadly seduction triggers murder. Thirst is the new film from director Park Chan-wook (Old Boy, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance). Already a boxoffice smash in Korea, Thirst was honored with the Prix du Jury [Jury Prize] at the 2009 Cannes International Film Festival.
Continuing his explorations of human existence in extreme circumstances, the director spins a tale that he conceived and then developed over several years with co-screenwriter Chung Seo-kyung.

Sang-hyun (played by top Korean star Song Kang-ho, of The Host) is a priest who cherishes life; so much so, that he selflessly volunteers for a secret vaccine development project meant to eradicate a deadly virus. But the virus takes the priest, and a blood transfusion is urgently ordered up for him. The blood he receives is infected, so Sang-hyun lives – but now exists as a vampire. Struggling with his newfound carnal desire for blood, Sang-hyun’s faith is further strained when a childhood friend’s wife, Tae-ju (Kim Ok-vin), comes to him asking for his help in escaping her life. Sang-hyun soon plunges into a world of sensual pleasures, finding himself on intimate terms with the Seven Deadly Sins.
MPAA Rating: R (for graphic bloody violence, disturbing images, strong sexual content, nudity, and language)
Running Time: 133 minutes

Aspect Ratio: 2:35/1 [Scope]

VIEW VIDEO CLIP ("I'M NOT CATHOLIC")

OPENING DAY SCHEDULE: Friday, July 31st, 2009:

New York -- Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema ( 143 East Houston Street , near 2nd Avenue )

Los Angeles -- Laemmle’s Sunset 5 (8000 Sunset Boulevard, at Crescent Heights )

San Francisco -- Landmark’s Bridge Theatre ( 3010 Geary Boulevard , near Blake Street )

THE BUTCHER / THE TERROR PACK -- Palisades Tartan's October Releases

BLAIR WITCH Meets SAW -- Palisades Tartan Asia Extreme’s THE BUTCHER in Stores October 27th

"One of the best - and one of the rawest - films of the year to come out of Korea, or anywhere else." – New York Asian Film Festival (2008)

"Will offend many people but those who embrace the experience will get a serious shock that will linger long after the film is over." –Twitchfilm.net

"..one of the most disturbing pieces of unrelieved horror I’ve had the pleasure of enduring." - Firefox News

LOS ANGELES — July,16 2009 —Just in time for Halloween, Palisades Tartan is pleased to present THE BUTCHER, our own distinctive and bloody treat. Told entirely from POV camera shots, this film is set to shock and scare audiences October 27th in video stores across the country.

A small group of people lie battered and bound on the floor of a dirty slaughterhouse covered in blood. Scared and confused, they soon learn their captors are snuff film producers and plan to torture them as creatively and heinously as possible before brutally killing them off one–by-one. Each scene is shot from either the killer or victim’s point of view in order to fully capture the emotional torment of the prey and the unspeakable acts that will be perpetrated on their captive bodies.

An Official Selection of The New York Asian Film Festival, THE BUTCHER highlights the creative talents of Lee Chang Man one of the best special make-up artists in Korea. Lee and his team have worked on over 20 features, including Palisades Tartan’s BLOODY REUNION, R-POINT and WHISPERING CORRIDORS.

Korean, with English subtitles, THE BUTCHER is presented in Anamorphic Widescreen, with Stereo Sound. Special DVD features include an Alternative Ending, Behind the Scenes Photos and Storyboard Sketches


THE BUTCHER
Palisades Tartan Asia Extreme
Genre: Horror/Foreign
Rating: Not Rated (Special Features Not Rated/Subject to Change)
Language: Korean (English Subtitles)
Format: DVD Only
Running Time: Approx 75 Minutes (Plus Special Features)
Suggested Retail Price: $19.99
Pre-Order Date: September 29, 2009
Street Date: October 27, 2009
Catalog #: TVD 3062
UPC Code: # 842498000052
Official Website: http://thebutcherfilm.com/

Chills and Kills from Around the World -- Palisades Tartan’s TERROR PACK in Stores October 13th

LOS ANGELES — July,16, 2009 — For Immediate Release —Featuring some of the most twisted and perverse horror films from France, Denmark and Japan, Palisades Tartan’s TERROR PACK contains a brutal collection of spine-chilling thrillers from around the world. This 3-disc box set will be haunting DVD shelf space October 13th just in time for Halloween.

From France we have SHEITAN, starring Vincent Cassel (OCEAN’S TWELVE, IRREVERSIBLE) as Joseph, a creepy and mysterious man whose pregnant wife remains hidden in a large frightening house. When a group of teenagers visit the house, sex, satanic possession, and incest become the dinner topics and what follows is not for the faint of heart…

From Denmark comes the aptly named SLAUGHTER NIGHT. When a teenage girl loses her father in a brutal car accident she brings some friends to an abandoned mine in hopes of retrieving the last manuscript her father ever penned about nineteenth century serial killers. It’s rumored one spirit with a taste for young, pretty flesh and decapitations still hunts the old mine hungering for another Slaughter Night…

Finally from Japan, we have CARVED: THE SLIT-MOUTHED WOMAN, a story about a beautiful bride who was grotesquely disfigured by a jealous husband. Pissed off and roaming the streets in a trench coat and surgical mask, her spirit is fond of children and punishing any who fail to find her pretty with fists, knives and one incredibly wicked pair of scissors…

SHEITAN played the Midnight Madness selection at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival and screened at the 2006 Tribeca, Edinburgh and Melbourne Film Festivals. SLAUGHTER NIGHT made its North American premiere at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival and CARVED was dubbed "An instant horror classic" from Screem Magazine. This boxset marks the first in what will a series of Terror Packs from Palisades Tartan, so be sure to look out for our next great mix of horror titles from around the world.

All three films are recorded in their countries original language (French, Danish and Japanese) and have English and Spanish subtitles. Each title is presented in anamorphic widescreen, Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound and DTS Surround Sound 5.1.

SHEITAN / SLAUGHTER NIGHT / CARVED: THE SLIT MOUTHED WOMAN
Palisades Tartan Video
Genre: Horror/Foreign
Rating: Not Rated (Special Features Not Rated/Subject to Change)
Language: French, Danish, Japanese (English Subtitles)
Format: DVD Only (Boxset)
Running Time: Approximately 274 minutes (Not Including Special Features)
SHEITAN – 94 min (Not Including Special Features)
SLAUGHTER NIGHT– 90 min (Not Including Special Features)
CARVED – 90 min (Not Including Special Features)
Suggested Retail Price: $39.99
Pre-Order Date: September 15, 2009
Street Date: October 13, 2009
Catalog #: TVD
UPC Code: # 842498000069

Tartan Films was originally founded in 1984 in the UK and is credited with bringing Asian Extreme film to the West as well as some of the most compelling art house films of the last quarter century. In May 2008, Palisades Pictures acquired Tartan Films US library assets and two months later, acquired a majority of Tartan Films UK’s 400+ film library assets. The new company Palisades Tartan has operations both nationally and internationally. Palisades Tartan will continue to expand an already distinctive and provocative slate of films by focusing on quality film acquisitions, thus significantly increasing the size of their overall library in both territories. Palisades Pictures and its parent company Palisades Media Corp is a prestigious financier of print & advertising for the independent film market. Together with its affiliate, Palisades Media Asset Fund, Palisades has securitized and financed more than 550 films.
www.PalisadesTartan.com

Connect Like Never Before to the World's Greatest Collection of Martial Arts & Asian Action Movies

Fans Get Non-Stop Access, Exclusive Content, and Latest News Via Facebook, MySpace and YouTube

Genius Products and The Weinstein Company enable martial arts fans and film buffs to interact with the lauded Dragon Dynasty label in a whole new way, with the premiere of their branded Facebook, MySpace, and YouTube pages. The three new pages provide a gathering space for the fan community and an inside look at exclusive content, including interactive photo galleries and dozens of videos of the most brilliantly choreographed fight scenes of all-time, all completely free of charge.

Dragon Dynasty brings home the world's greatest martial arts and Asian action films, featuring the groundbreaking work of international superstars and legendary filmmakers, including Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, John Woo, Yuen Woo-ping, and many more. Fans experience the best of classic and contemporary smash hits from the world's most exciting genre, with cutting-edge digital video and audio remastering and exclusive, never-before-seen bonus features.

Current titles featured include THE ENFORCER, THE LEGEND OF FONG SAI-YUK, SUPERCOP, AN EMPRESS AND THE WARRIORS, as well as the upcoming DVD release THE 5 DEADLY VENOMS, arriving August 18.

About Genius Products

"Genius Products, Inc. is the owner of Genius Products, LLC, a leading independent home-entertainment distribution company that produces, licenses and distributes a valuable library of motion pictures, television programming, family, lifestyle and trend entertainment on DVD and other emerging platforms through its expansive network of retailers throughout the United States."

About The Weinstein Company

The Weinstein Company was created by Bob and Harvey Weinstein, the brothers who founded Miramax Films Corp. in 1979. TWC is a multi-media company that officially launched on October 1, 2005. Dimension Films, the genre label that was founded in 1993 by Bob Weinstein, is also included under TWC banner. The Weinsteins are actively working on the production, development and acquisition of projects for TWC.

"Elvis Presley: The Ed Sullivan Shows: The Performances" available on DVD August 4th

Share the excitement of Elvis Presley's earth-shattering introduction to the nation in this collection of iconic performances from "The Ed Sullivan Show," and experience for yourself why Elvis became the legendary King of Rock and Roll!

Appearing on the show Sept. 9, 1956, Elvis sent shock waves through a repressed nation with his soulful singing, wild hip gyrations and raw energy, attracting a record-breaking TV audience of more than 60 million people. Presley returned on Oct. 28, 1956, continuing to provoke ecstatic screams with hits such as "Don't Be Cruel," "Love Me Tender" and "Hound Dog." In fact, these exhilarating performances were so explosive that Elvis was filmed above the waist during his final Sullivan show appearance on January 6, 1957!

SPECIAL FEATURES: Remembering Ed and Elvis; Why Ed Didn't Host Elvis' First Appearance; Elvis and Ed: Intros and Promos; Caught on Celluloid: The First Moving Pictures of Elvis Presley; Special Elvis Moments; Jerry Shillings Home Movies; Documents from the Graceland Archives; Documents from the Sullivan Archives

Catalog: ID4175XSDVD
UPC: 014381417524
SRP: $14.98
Release Date: 8/4/09
Buy it at Amazon.com

"The Chaos Experiment" On DVD August 4

A madman bargains the lives of six hostages for press coverage of his threatening environmental theory when the Hitchockian thriller The Chaos Experiment debuts on DVD August 4 from Genius Products. Starring Val Kilmer (The Doors, Batman Forever), Emmy® nominee Armand Assante (“Gotti,” ”Jack the Ripper”), Oscar® nominee Eric Roberts (Runaway Train) and Patrick Muldoon (“Melrose Place,” “Days of our Lives”), the film is from director Philippe Martinez (Citizen Verdict, Wake of Death).

Spiraling into a world of delusion and madness after professional disgrace over his outlandish hypotheses, a professor (Kilmer) lures six unwitting participants into an experiment to prove his theory of how global warming will drastically effect civilization, causing aggression, madness and chaos. While his subjects remain locked in a stream room with its temperature rapidly increasing to 130 degrees, he walks into the offices of a local newspaper demanding that his ideas be printed on the front page of the paper or the six victims would die within hours.

Racing against the clock to get to the truth, a detective (Assante) must determine whether or not the experiment is the delusional musings of a disturbed man or the maniacal work of a deadly psychopath. The Chaos Experiment DVD will be available for the suggested retail price of $19.95.

BASICS

Price: $19.95

Languages: English

Running time: 96 minutes

Rating: R

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THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO -- DVD review by porfle

Recently I've begun to develop a perverse enjoyment of extremely cheesy 70s and 80s television shows that I wouldn't have been caught dead watching during their first run. Curious to test my newfound ability to withstand anything the likes of Aaron Spelling could launch at me, I was eager to take on one of the all-time undisputed champeens of cheese, "The Love Boat." So as soon as I got my mitts on the new four-disc, 12-episode DVD collection THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, it was on, baby! DING!

Actually, once you resign yourself to how silly and totally corny it all is, the show isn't that hard to like at all. If you're looking for "Playhouse 90", you're on the wrong boat. And who doesn't want to spend a little time on a cruise ship with a fun-loving crew and dozens of pop culture icons gettin' it on with each other? As one of the first and best of these "Grand Hotel"-style multi-plot, multi-guest star shows, "The Love Boat" is simply a boatload of dumb fun.

The first episode alone features none other than Abe Vigoda and Nancy Walker sharing romantic dialogue on deck with a scenic sunset in the background. Also representing the older set in later episodes are: Ray "Scarecrow" Bolger and Martha "Poli-Grip" Raye as high-school sweethearts who haven't seen each other in forty years; Arthur Godfrey and Minnie Pearl as eloping lovebirds on the run from their overprotective offspring (Elinor Donahue and Warren Berlinger); and Barry Nelson and Nanette Fabray as an empty-nest couple whose plans for a round-the-world vacation are deep-sixed by news of a surprise package.

One of the best of the show's December-December flings takes place when rich widow Celeste Holm winds up on the same cruise with her vacationing chauffeur, John Mills, and they discover that they're in love with each other. The awkward situation builds to a romantic crescendo (with that same sunset in the background) which actually has some pretty decent writing for a change, and a couple of seasoned actors with the talent to turn it into something substantial. The director goes in for some tight closeups in this scene because he knows that old pros Holm and Mills are working this material for all it's worth.

On the flip-side, where things are just plain goofy, we get Ron "Horshack" Palillo as a magician filling in for his brother in the ship's lounge and falling for his pretty assistant (Melinda Naud), who, incredibly, returns his affections. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara play harried parents who can't get any private time away from their gaggle of brats, including a fledgling Corey Feldman. Roddy McDowell, surely one of the most ubiquitous actors of all time, plays a constantly sneezing dweeb who discovers he's allergic to his demanding bride-to-be Tammy Grimes. We also get to witness the startling sight of "Match Game" stars Gene Rayburn and Fannie Flagg sucking face like there's no tomorrow while her yappy little dog (the specially-billed "Cricket") tries to come between them. And...omigod...Charo. 'Nuff said.

The biggest surprise is that I didn't remember how serious some of these stories could get. We're talking actual soap-opera-level melodrama here. A man (Randy Mantooth) introduces his girlfriend (Cathy Lee Crosby) to his dad (Robert Mandan)...the girlfriend and the dad fall in love...the son blows his top and dad slaps him! Elsewhere, Craig Stevens is a WWII vet wounded on Omaha Beach, suddenly reunited after all these years with the only woman he ever loved (Cyd Charisse), only to find her attached to some young French stud named Francoise. This is classic "women's picture" stuff just like all the studios were churning out back in the 40s and 50s.

Even when Sonny Bono guests as Deacon Dark, a ludicrous cross between Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons, it's played mainly for bathos because Sonny really wants to be a lounge singer (despite resistance from his materialistic manager, Arte Johnson). This is compounded when he meets a cute deaf girl who falls for the real Sonny and "listens" to his sensitive ivory-tinking by feeling the vibrations in his piano. Talk about laying it on with a trowel--you gotta love it!

Gavin McLeod plays Captain Stubing, the distinguished and very proper main man of the Love Boat, and it's nice to see McLeod in a successful starring role after all those years as a second banana on shows like "McHale's Navy" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Too bad he's usually the straight man for his wacky underlings here, since he was always pretty adept at comedy himself. He does get his share of dramatic subplots and sappy love affairs, as evidenced by this hair-curling exchange:

"Hey, hey...eyes as lovely as yours shouldn't be clouded with tears."
"You say the nicest things."
"Only to the nicest people."

Future four-term Iowa congressman Fred Grandy is Yeoman-Purser "Gopher" Smith, easily the biggest idiot on the ship. Gopher takes center stage in some of the silliest stories, as when his supermodel dreamgirl (the always delightful Hayley Mills) comes aboard and he retreats into a Walter Mitty-style fantasy world, or the one in which he overhears a couple of murder-mystery writers (Peter Lawford, Dana Wynter) discussing their next book and thinks they're planning to kill the Captain. Surprisingly, the season finale features Gopher in one of the most dramatic scenes of the whole set when he has an extremely emotional reconciliation with his estranged father (Bob Cummings).

The concept of Bob Cummings and a Godzilla-like Ethel Merman playing Gopher's parents is almost too much to bear, as is the big finale with father and son crooning a comedy version of "Sonny Boy" to each other during the crew's "Talent Night" show. And yet, like everything else that happens on this series, I feel compelled to watch. I guess it's just one of the mysteries of life.

As Isaac, the ship's bartender with the chipper attitude and big kid smile, Ted Lange is one of the brightest performers on the show. Isaac is always there to help the passengers get sloppy drunk and to dole out helpful advice when they unload their sob stories on him. I like the episode where Isaac's old friend Reggie Jackson books passage to get away from all the constant fan adoration, only to have his ego crushed when nobody on board recognizes him. But even Isaac has his serious side, which we see when he tries to help a troubled young girl who's a convicted shoplifter by getting her a job in the gift shop. Sure enough, a pair of expensive pearl earrings turn up missing.

Bernie Kopell as ship's medic "Doc" Bricker is another TV veteran who excels at light comedy while also handling some pretty bleak material, such as the episode in which his old surgeon friend (Richard Anderson) is dealing with the loss of an arm in a car crash while his wife (Diana Muldaur), stricken with guilt for having caused the accident, suffers an addiction to prescription drugs. Less turgid and a lot more fun is the time one of Doc's several ex-wives (Tina Louise) hires narcissistic pretty-boy Lyle Waggoner to pose as her new fiance to make Doc jealous.

Lauren Tewes, who, sadly, would later have to leave the show due to her own real-life drug problems, is all winsome and chipper as cruise director Julie McCoy. Her character comes to the fore in one of the set's two feature-length episodes, in which Julie's high-school graduating class has its ten-year reunion on board the ship. This episode is loaded with guest stars and subplots, including a self-destructing alcoholic teacher (Raymond Burr), a wheelchair-bound Viet Nam vet (Michael Cole), his best friend who is wracked with guilt for evading the draft (John Rubinstein), and a heavy-set gal (Conchata Ferrell) who has a fling with Doc until she suspects him of ridiculing her behind her back. Also appearing in this one are Christopher George as a famous TV star and Bob "Gilligan" Denver as the class dork.

Looking cuter than I've ever seen her in anything else, Kim Darby (TRUE GRIT) plays a classmate trying to uncover the identity of a secret admirer within the group's ranks, which gives her an excuse to get romantic with just about all the male guest stars. Julie, meanwhile, shows her ruthless side as she tries to steal handsome disco instructor Michael Lembeck away from a pre-nosejob Lisa Hartman. Much of the episode's later scenes take place during a big disco party, which is typical of the show's obsession with this much-reviled dance craze. There's nothing like seeing a ballroom full of people with absolutely no sense of rhythm boogeying down like a bunch of brain-damaged storks.

In addition to those already mentioned, this collection's incredible roster of guest stars includes Phyllis Davis, "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, Barbara Rush, Elaine Joyce, Bobby Van, Carol Lynley, Hans Conried, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Ben Murphy, Donna Pescow, David Hedison, Juliet Mills, Telma Hopkins, Debbie Allen, Maren Jensen, Dennis Cole, Samantha Eggar, Paul Burke, Arlene Dahl, James Dobson, Leslie Nielsen, Jill St. John, and Charlie Callas. Ken Berry and Beth Howland star in one of the show's most moving segments about a woman who is trying in vain to be accepted by the daughters of the widower she's just married. Howland, of TV's "Alice", is particularly good here.

Aside from the opening titles and some of the stock footage used on the show, the picture quality here is pretty good. The DVD image is 4.3 full-screen with Dolby Digital sound. English and Spanish subtitles and closed-captioning are available. Each episode comes with its original promo, which is the set's sole bonus feature.

By the time I got to the final episodes of THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, I was actually looking forward to the next sappy romantic adventures aboard the Pacific Princess. Not only that, but I caught myself singing along with the theme song! Aaron Spelling strikes again, and another hapless TV junkie winds up with a Gopher on his back.

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Parker Lewis Can't Lose DVD Review by Jessica Friedman

Parker Lewis Can’t Lose The Complete First Season DVD Review

By Jessica Friedman

Ah, the 1990s. It was the decade during which Ian and I began to gain a knowledge for and appreciation of pop culture and, as such, we are ‘90s nostalgia freaks. Forget the ‘80s—for us, grunge music and plaid shirts were much more influential than hair bands and spandex.

As children of the ‘90s, Ian and I are always on the lookout for dvd releases for some of our favorite shows of that era. For me, Parker Lewis Can’t Lose was one of those shows. I remember being a young kid who was enthralled by the logistics of the “synchronized Swatches” and was fascinated by Kubiac (the big lug played by E.R.’s Abraham Benrubi) and Miss Musso (played by Melanie Chartoff). As a late twentysomething some years later (wow…that makes me feel old), I wondered if I would still enjoy this show to the extent that I did when I was nine.

Surprisingly, the episodes really do hold up. I still enjoy the camaraderie between the eponymous Parker Lewis (played by Corin Nemec) and his best friend, Mikey (played by Billy Jayne). The hilariously nebbish Jerry (played by Troy W. Slaten) reminds me now of Paul on The Wonder Years and Marcy from Peanuts (since he calls everyone “Sir” all of the time). Even though Parker Lewis is the ridiculously good-looking and popular cool guy in school (think Zach Morris mixed with Ferris Bueller), my favorite character will always be Larry Kubiac. When he told people he was hungry, they would feed him fish into his mouth! That’s just one of the many surreal elements to this show. A predecessor to later programs such as Scrubs and Andy Richter Controls the Universe, PLCL was full of crazy, off-the-wall , and completely cartoonish moments that make viewing the show that much more enjoyable. The DVD set also comes with some fantastic extras, such as audio commentaries on six episodes and a bonus documentary called “The History of Coolness.”

Another feature of the show that I have come to admire while watching the dvds is the artistic quality of the matching opening and closing segments. I do not believe I have ever seen another show that was so inventive in the way it used common everyday objects (inside of the refrigerator, inside of an attic, etc.) to give a different point of view to the events occurring. One example that I thought was very clever was the opening of the third episode, “Power Play,” during which Parker is yelling at his sister, Shelly (played by Maia Brewton), if she knows where his new jeans are while Shelly is throwing said jeans into the washer with bleach. After a final round of questioning (with the lid of the washer opening up to reveal Shelly’s maniacal face), Parker yells, “Are you sure you haven’t seen my jeans, Shelly? Your Depeche Mode tickets were in the pocket.” Upon hearing this, Shelly obviously freaks out and yells while her brother must be smirking somewhere off-camera, having “won” the game of life once again.

Although PLCL can be corny and dated at times (his dad works at a store that carries electronic items that are essentially obsolete now), a lot of the humor still seems fresh. I highly recommend this dvd set for ‘90s nostalgia freaks or people who just like humorous teen comedy shows.

If that doesn’t entice you, this bit of trivia might—the pilot episode features a young Milla Jovovich as the love interest shared by Parker and Mikey. So, if you ever wanted to see the Resident Evil star wearing crazy outfits from the ‘90s, this DVD set is for you!

MERLIN AND THE BOOK OF BEASTS -- DVD review by porfle

One of the most enjoyable of the Sci-Fi (I refuse to say "SyFy") Channel movies that I've seen, MERLIN AND THE BOOK OF BEASTS (2009) is a modest but well-crafted continuation of the Arthurian legend that knows its limitations and uses a modest budget to its fullest potential.

After the deaths of King Arthur and his knights, and the rise to power of an evil sorcerer named The Arkadian (Jim Thorburn), darkness has once again descended upon Camelot and the rest of England. All that's left to fight the good fight are an aging Sir Galahad (Donald Adams), his young apprentice Lysanor (Jesse Moss), and the brawny Tristan (Patrick Sabongui), son of Tristan and Isolde. Most importantly, there's the beautiful blonde warrior princess Avlynn Pendragon (Laura Harris), who just happens to be the daughter of Arthur and Guineviere.

After securing the help of an initially reluctant Merlin (James Callis), the brave band makes its way into a ruined Camelot to confront The Arkadian. But he has a terrible weapon at his disposal--a magic book which contains the captured spirits of evil creatures whom he can release from its pages at will to do his bidding. He also has a terrible secret, which King Arthur fans will probably guess pretty darn quick.

The script is fairly good for this type of film. Scriptwriter Brook Durham keeps a pretty even tone most of the time and goes easy on the lowbrow humor. With some awesome Canadian locations to work with, director Warren P. Sonoda is able to manage a hint of big-budget gravitas in some of the sweeping outdoor shots, especially during the pivotal scene in which Avlynn wades into a lake to retrieve Excalibur from a protruding rock and hoist it aloft.

Production values remain modest but decent enough otherwise, although the most the filmmakers manage in the way of interiors are a few rooms in the Arkadian's palace and some tunnels. A small courtyard set with a couple dozen extras is all we see of Camelot's inhabitants. Overall, the production design and cinematography are good and the film, while sparsely populated, has an attractive look.

Callis, better known as Baltar in "Battlestar Galactica", does an okay job as a gruff, growly-voiced, and supremely world-weary Merlin, although his strangely Jamaican-tinged accent had me wondering at times. His quirky interpretation of the character has its ups and downs, one advantage being a very dry sense of humor. Here's an exchange that takes place between a captive Merlin and The Arkadian:

"Where is the sword--the sword in the lake?"
"You'll never find it. I hid it, see?"
"You hid the sword?"
"No, I hid the lake."

The rest of the cast is capable if not quite outstanding. I liked the Avlynn character most of all--it's intriguing to see a female Pendragon fighting to regain her father's throne. Thankfully, Harris doesn't play her as an unrealistic superwoman, but simply as someone who finds herself in a desperate situation in which she must act heroically.

The "beasts" of the title include, strangely enough, a CGI-generated flock of deadly butterflies (well, it's original, anyway), some "Dragon Soldiers" with really ugly makeup jobs, giant "Death Hawks" that capture the good guys and whisk them away to the bad guy's lair (which reminded me of a similar scene with the flying monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz"), and, best of all, the ever-popular Gorgon sisters. Some of the liveliest moments involve these snake-haired beauties, led by the malevolent Medusa (Maja Stace-Smith), against whom our steadfast heroes must do battle with their eyes closed lest they be turned to stone. The fist and sword fights with more human foes are serviceable although the choreography is a bit on the flabby side.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is anamorphic widescreen with 5.1 Dolby Surround sound. There's an eleven-minute behind-the-scenes featurette, and English subtitles for the deaf and hearing impaired.

MERLIN AND THE BOOK OF BEASTS is no epic, to be sure, but simply an entertaining B-movie that manages to rise a bit above the mediocrity of the usual Sci-Fi Channel fare. As a big fan of John Boorman's classic "Excalibur" I found it interesting to watch this fun and fairly involving small-scale continuation of the story, and consider it a worthy effort of its kind.

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NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN PHOTOS OF BELA LUGOSI AS "YGOR"! (OR ARE THEY?)

Nope, it's Oscar-winning makeup maestro RICK BAKER in a stunning recreation of Bela's famous broken-necked graverobber ("err...they said") from SON OF FRANKENSTEIN!
Not only is this a tribute to the great Lugosi, but also to master monster-makeup pioneer Jack Pierce, one of Rick's main inspirations in the business. Pierce's legendary creations for Universal Pictures in the 30s and 40s also include the Frankenstein Monster, Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, and the Werewolf of London. His "Ygor" makeup contributed to what is considered to be one of Bela's finest performances.

Rick's work, of course, can be seen in such films as AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, MEN IN BLACK, THE NUTTY PROFESSOR (1996), VIDEODROME, and Michael Jackson's THRILLER, among countless others. He also helped transform Martin Landau into Bela Lugosi for Tim Burton's ED WOOD.

Now, seventy years after SON OF FRANKENSTEIN, Rick Baker uses his skills to bring Ygor back to life to terrorize the countryside again. Or, perhaps--to audition as the new frontman for Jethro Tull!

Videos:

ygor's mistake (makeup test)

ygor sings (work in progress)

(Thanks to Rick Baker for the use of the photos and kudos to Ted Newsom for the cool photoshopped background in the second one.)

SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA -- DVD review by porfle

If you're trying to think of a grandiose name for two dullards trudging around in the wilderness for a couple of hours, then I guess SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA (2007) is about as good as any.

Orn (Tony Stone) is the lead singer for a hair-metal band, and Volnard (Fiore Tedesco) is the bass player. Okay, they aren't, but they certainly resemble that more than the badass Vikings from the year 1007 that they're supposed to be. After the rest of their party either get wiped out by the Skraelings (Native Americans) or hightail it back to Norse-ylvania, the two stranded scouts ask "Dude, where's my ship?" and decide to try and walk cross-continent until they run into either another expedition or a bunch of polar bears, whichever comes first. After observing these guys in action for awhile, you may start to suspect that it wasn't any accident they were left behind.

Anachronism is sometimes used in an attempt to give the characters a more contemporary appeal. One scene begins with the generously-maned Orn greeting the morning by actually headbanging to Judas Priest outside their makeshift enclosure. Elsewhere, a dialogue exchange around the campfire might've been scripted by the guys from MST3K:

"I caught this f**king fish so don't be trying to hog it all."
"Ah, shut the hell up."
"This fish is really killer."

Lots of wood-chopping and even more trudging are interrupted here and there by a few meager plot points, heralded by chapter titles such as "Stranded", "Camp", "Conquest", "Encounters", "Separation", "Reunion", etc. After stumbling across a couple of Christian monks who have escaped Norse captivity and constructed a humble log chapel in the forest, Orn and Volnard slay the two and burn down their chapel. Actually, Volnard secretly releases his monk back into the wild, still feeling guilty after once killing a Christian who converted his sister only to witness her suicide leap from a cliff in response. Volnard decides to abandon Orn and travel with the monk (David Perry) instead, intrigued by his new religion.

Devout Odin-worshipper Orn, meanwhile, is followed by one of those unbelievably hot Native American babes that exist only in the movies (Noelle Bailey)--she gazes at him from afar in standard serial-killer POV--until she finally decides to lay him out with some knockout berries, transport him to her dwelling, stake him out, and rape him. Well, you know those hair-metal groupies. In an interesting dream sequence, Gaby Hoffman of "Uncle Buck" fame appears as Orn's wife and tells him what a total failure he is, with which most viewers by this time will heartily concur. After a few more random occurrences, including an eventual reunion with Volnar, the rambling storyline finally drops dead of exhaustion.

In tone, SEVERED WAYS seems to be going for a cross between James Fenimore Cooper, "Jeremiah Johnson", and "Quest for Fire." Although at times, it also looks like the result of a collaboration between The Discovery Channel and shock filmmaker John Waters, as demonstrated by a couple of scenes that shoot right to the top of my list of "Things I Really Didn't Need or Want to See." The runner-up is the sequence in which Orn catches a chicken and then proceeds to behead, pluck, and gut it. I know this happens to chickens all the time, but for some hapless fowl to sacrifice its life in the making of this movie seems above and beyond the call of duty.

But that's nothing compared to what is without a doubt the most memorable scene in the film, in which we get to watch Tony Stone take a dump. Yes, movie fans, you heard right. He takes down his pants, allows his bare butt to precipitously hover just long enough to make us think "Oh, no you're not", and then, sure enough, he does--copiously, in fact--and we're treated to a graphic image that will linger in our minds for the rest of the film, if not our lives. This isn't acting, it's just some doofus heaving a Havana.

Even without such dubious cinematic milestones, Stone's hyperactive directing style is all over the place, and too much of it consists of getting a really tight shot of someone or something and then shaking the hell out of the camera (the film often resembles "The Blair Viking Project"). Stone also has an affinity for lens flares that might have you grabbing for your shades.

Admittedly, there's an awful lot of visual beauty in this film, but considering the consistently gorgeous wilderness locations (in Vermont and Newfoundland) this would seem unavoidable. At times, the camera lingers on certain images for so long that they're obviously meant to have a hypnotic effect on the viewer. Unfortunately, it's the kind in which you hear a guy's voice saying, "You are getting sleepy..." That's where the soundtrack comes in handy, because we never know when the next blast of heavy metal or strident prog-synth is going to jar us out of our stupors.

The DVD's 2.35:1 widescreen image is good, although the film sometimes has that noticeable digital video look. Sound is Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0, with the occasional dubbed Old Norse dialogue subtitled in English and Spanish. Bonus features include a couple of deleted snippets, some nice footage shot at an actual Viking settlement in Newfoundland, four brief "video fireplace"-type ambient scenes representing the four elements, and, for some reason, an extended slow-motion look at the burning of that log chapel.

Rounding out the bonus features are two of the film's trailers, which are very well-done and promise an epic entertainment which SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA is unable to deliver. It's an intriguing premise which might have made for an interesting film if actor-writer-producer-director Tony Stone hadn't allowed it to become such a self-indulgent ego trip. Not only that, but he deserves a swift kick for tricking us into watching him pitch a loaf on camera. (Gee, how come Hitchcock or Kubrick never thought of that?) This is the kind of film that's often lauded as an alternative to the usual Hollywood "cookie-cutter" fare, but in this case, I'll have a cookie, thanks.

Buy it at Amazon.com

BIG MAN JAPAN -- DVD review by porfle

Well, here's something for those with a really big taste for the unusual. Part mockumentary, part giant-Japanese-monsters spoof, BIG MAN JAPAN (2007) is one seriously weird movie. And watching it is like discovering a chest full of really cool toys that were designed by crazy elves on acid.

The mockumentary part follows a reserved, unassuming man named Daisato (director and co-writer Hitoshi Matsumoto) around as he makes his way through a seemingly ordinary life. He lives in a dumpy home with a stray cat and makes pointless conversation about how he likes things (folding umbrellas, dehydrated seaweed) that are small until you need for them to get big. Sometimes he wistfully talks about his 8-year-old daughter, whom his ex-wife will only let him visit twice a year because that's as often as she can stand to be around him.

Rocks crash through the windows as he speaks. His house is adorned with strewn garbage and graffiti such as "Die!" and "We don't need you!" Why? Because Daisato is Big-Sato, or "Big Man Japan", a widely-reviled superhero who is also small until the government needs for him to get big and fight the giant monsters that constantly invade Japan, and it's no longer the glamour job that it was for his predecessors. In fact, his reality TV show is currently getting lower ratings than the weather channel.

The interview segments, while very funny, are also dry and sometimes seemingly interminable. I couldn't wait for Daisato to get the next call to action from the government, because then, things really get fun. He travels by moped (passing more graffiti such as "You're annoying" and "Fall off a cliff!") to the nearest electrical station to "power up", standing inside his gigantic purple shorts and getting zapped with millions of volts until he grows to colossal proportions. With his long hair standing straight up and his pudgy body adorned with tattoos and advertising (his avaricious agent sells ad space to various sponsors and pockets most of the profits herself), Big Man Japan is ready to stomp into action again.

Each monster that he encounters is a wonderful and fascinating creation. The first one we see is The Strangling Monster, whose arms form a loop of elastic steel cables that he wraps around skyscrapers before hoisting them up and gleefully piledriving them into the ground. The Leaping Monster is another extremely happy creature with very expressive features--the facial CGI motion-capture on these things is really good. This is especially true for The Stink Monster, a female monstrosity who engages our hero in a heated verbal exchange filled with withering putdowns while leaning against a building and petulantly nudging automobiles with her foot.

Most of the monsters have some kind of disturbing sexual component that adds an extra layer of strangeness to their activities. Strangling Monster extrudes a pointed metallic shaft from his posterior that deposits slimy eggs into the gaping holes left from uprooted buildings. Evil Stare Monster's telescoping eye-stalk, which he uses as a swinging mace-like weapon, originates from his groin. Not to be outdone, Stink Monster is actually in heat, which attracts the frantic attentions of yet another grotesque monster who's beside himself with hilariously hyperkinetic lust. "What the hell!?" Daisato cries in horror as she turns around and "presents." What happens next results in tabloid press headlines decrying Big Man Japan as a "Monster Pimp."

Each of these segments is a feast of weirdness for us to gorge ourselves on--irresistible confections of stylized photo-realistic CGI, mind-bending monsters, and cartoonishly surreal situations. When Daisato's senile old grandfather, once the highly-popular Big Man Japan the Fourth, zaps himself with electricity and gets back into the act, he goes on a wonderfully irrational rampage in which he takes on Tokyo Tower and shuts down the local airport by playing with the planes, while headlines scream "Big Man Japan Destroys Japan!!" and "Big Man Japan Salutes the Sun?!" Even the somewhat melancholy mockumentary sequences start to get more outrageous as Daisato deals with all the various controversies and public outcries while trying to keep his personal life together.

Hitoshi Matsumoto does a good job directing the film while giving a nicely subdued performance as the put-upon Daisato. His supporting players, including several non-professionals, are natural and funny. The more mundane segments look as though they might have been shot for some PBS series, while the monster scenes are so lush and colorful that they're quite visually sumptuous. Adding to the film's appeal is a score by Towa Tei that is often beautiful.

A 68-minute bonus featurette (with commentary), "Making of Big Man Japan", shows the years-long collaborative process in which the story and its characters were developed, and follows the cast and crew to Cannes for the film's successful premiere. Also included on the DVD are several deleted scenes plus trailers for this and the other films in Magnolia/Magnet's "6-Shooter Film Series" (five of which we've reviewed right here at HKCFN, counting this one). The 1.85:1 widescreen image and Dolby Digital sound are good. Soundtrack is in Japanese with English and Spanish subtitles.

With the appearance of a redskinned, seemingly invincible demon-monster that may mean the end of our hero, BIG MAN JAPAN has a final surprise in store for viewers which will either delight or confuse, or both. (At any rate, it should get you to thinking about what the heck it all means, including possible political implications, blah, blah, etc.) Like the rest of the film, it's unexpected and totally off-the-wall. And if you're like me, you may find it hard to believe that somebody actually made a movie that's this much pure, silly, unadulterated fun.

Buy it at Amazon.com

"MUTANT CHRONICLES" and "DEMON WARRIORS" -- Coming Aug. 4 From Magnolia Home Entertainment

Dystopian, Steampunk Sci-Fi/Horror Epic, MUTANT CHRONICLES Arrives As A Two-Disc Collector’s Edition On DVD And A Blu-ray Disc August 4 From The Magnet Label of Magnolia Home Entertainment

Also Available As A Single-Disc Collector’s Edition

“Brilliantly Ballistic Blood-spattered action...Incredibly violent. Wall-to-wall splatter. Visually striking sci-fi/horror epic.”- Fangoria

In the year 2707, war rages between Earth’s four giant corporations as they battle over the planet’s dwindling resources. Amid heavy combat, an errant shell shatters an ancient buried seal, releasing a horrific necromutant army from its eternal prison deep within the Earth. As the mutant plague threatens human extinction, a single squad of soldiers descends into the very heart of the darkness in an attempt to save the planet from marauding hordes of mutants.

Based on the classic role-playing game that has already inspired card games, video games, novels, comic books and collectible miniatures, MUTANT CHRONICLES stars Thomas Jane (The Mist, The Punisher, The Sweetest Thing), Golden Globe®-winner Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, “Beauty and the Beast”) and Oscar®-nominee John Malkovich (The Great Buck Howard, Burn After Reading, Changeling).

Buy it at Amazon.com:

DVD/2-disc/Blu-Ray

DEMON WARRIORS, An Action-Packed Supernatural Adventure From the Creators of Ong-Bak, Dynamite Warriors and The Protector, lands on DVD August 4 from Magnolia Home Entertainment Under the Magnet Label.

“Ingredients for a nasty version of X-Men…”Variety

Detective Techit’s biggest case calls for the ultimate sacrifice – his life. In order to investigate the existence of mysterious spirits called Opapatikas, he must follow them into the eternal limbo existence in which they dwell. When an otherworldly warrior promises Techit incredible powers of intuition upon entering the Opapatika world, Techit leaps at the chance to be a better detective, committing suicide and using death as a doorway into a supernatural world populated by ghouls, warriors, and eternal raging battles. Once there Techit is caught in the fray and quickly discovers that each time he fights an Opapatika, he loses one of his five senses. Surrounded by enemies and running out of power, Techit must conquer the afterlife or face an eternity of misery.

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DEADGIRL -- movie review by porfle

Recently I watched another coming-of-age film called "Bart Got a Room", which might be thought of as the happy flipside to today's very different coming-of-age story, DEADGIRL (2008). In this one, two high school misfits named Rickie and J.T. get a room too, only instead of being in a posh hotel it's in the dark basement of an abandoned mental institution, and instead of finding prom dates, they find a naked living-dead girl wrapped in plastic and strapped to a lab table.

Needless to say, this isn't your father's Archie and Jughead. While Rickie (the soulful Shiloh Fernandez, who reminds me of a pre-nutso Joaquin Phoenix) is disturbed by their discovery and wants to report it to somebody, the considerably flakier J.T. (Noah Segan) quickly sees Deadgirl as their own animated RealDoll. Before long he's as paranoid and possessive as Fred C. Dobbs and acting out his twisted adolescent urges with the undying corpse. In one startling scene, he proves to Rickie that she can't die by firing several bullets into her torso with no effect. Rickie is repulsed but intimidated into silence by the increasingly unbalanced J.T. Eventually others are brought in on the sick setup, with varying horrific consequences.

In a way, DEADGIRL reminded me of "The River's Edge", a fact-based story of some disaffected high school kids who find a murdered girl's body in the weeds and bring their friends out to gawk at her instead of doing anything about it. Here, however, we go way beyond merely "disaffected" and into full-blown "deranged." Many viewers will no doubt find it difficult to endure scenes of J.T. and his pathetic toady Wheeler (Eric Podnar) taking turns with the increasingly worse-for-wear Deadgirl as her chilling visage contorts, her eyes rolling and leering in their sockets. Equally repellent is the sight of J.T. poking at her pus-oozing bulletholes as he giddily marvels at her inability to die.

While J.T. has found the ghoul of his nightmares, Rickie still pines for the beautiful and unattainable popular girl Joann (Candice Accola), who, as J.T. points out with brutal frankness, would rather die than be with him. She'll eventually have to make that choice. Her bullying jock boyfriend Johnny (Andrew DiPalma) and his equally sadistic sidekick Dwyer (Nolan Gerard Funk) also get drawn into the situation, culminating in some of the film's most ghastly and nerve-wracking images. Even tied up, Deadgirl is dangerous, because when you least expect it, she bites. And the bites get...infected. What happens to Johnny in particular is, for me anyway, quite a jaw-dropper.

I wasn't altogether satisfied by the ending, although I suppose there was a kind of resigned inevitability to it. The leads play their parts convincingly--Segan is especially effective as the downwardly spiralling J.T., and Michael Bowen, who was "Buck" in KILL BILL VOL. 1, is one of the best character actors working today. Best of all, Jenny Spain's Deadgirl is a truly strange and frightening creation. The combination of the right makeup and her cunningly controlled performance, along with the imaginative direction of Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel, makes Deadgirl a memorable movie "monster." You're never quite sure what's going through her fevered mind and can't wait to find out what will happen when she gets loose from her bonds. Which she eventually does, of course.

DEADGIRL is not to be confused with the similarly-titled 2006 film "The Dead Girl." That was a thoughtful, bittersweet account of the affect that one girl's murder has on the lives of several people who are connected with her in one way or another. This, on the other hand, is a pitch dark, full-blown horror flick that sets out to disgust and disturb and succeeds by being one of the most deviously over-the-top cinematic fever dreams of recent years. As for Deadgirl herself, she is both loathesome and sympathetic, repellant yet compelling, horrific yet oddly heroic--and altogether fascinating.

Official site
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FEED YOUR FEAR! at Comic-Con

From Fox/MGM Home Entertainment:

Fans dare to test their strength in a truly terrifying virtual experience

Get An Electrifying First Look At 20th Century Fox and MGM Home Entertainment’s Halloween ’09 Blu-ray Disc Lineup

Plus, Join Us For An Exclusive Meet And Greet With Janet Montgomery, Star Of The Highly Anticipated Sequel Wrong Turn 3: Left For Dead

WHAT: Fearless fans strap themselves into an electric chair, don a set of virtual reality goggles and prepare for a frenzied montage of terrifying, delusional and iconic scenes from some of Fox and MGM Home Entertainment’s most frightening horror films. At the Feed Your Fear-themed booth, Comic-Con attendees can also check out an assortment of film props, and watch tamer footage of titles debuting on Blu-ray Disc this Halloween.

WHO: In a horror-filled first, Fox and MGM Home Entertainment unearth nerve-racking fright and bring chills to San Diego Comic-Con International as they showcase an assortment of some of the most highly anticipated Blu-ray horror titles of 2009. The line-up includes:

• The cannibalistic carnage continues with the graphic debut of the Wrong Turn Trilogy on Blu-ray Disc. Fans can stop by the booth Friday, July 24 for an exclusive photo opp with Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead star Janet Montgomery.

• Witness the birth of evil in spine tingling Blu-ray Disc clarity with the eerie and intense Hannibal Lecter Anthology.

• Voodoo and terror meet within an innocent-looking doll inhabited by the soul of a serial killer who isn’t ready to die, as the chilling Child’s Play is unleashed in full high definition gore.

• Adapted from a Stephen King story, experience the Misery of this heart-stopping Academy Award®-winning film available on Blu-ray Disc for the first time.

WHERE: Booth #3528 – Fox/MGM Home Entertainment
Comic-Con International
San Diego Convention Center
111 W. Harbor Drive
San Diego, CA 92101

WHEN: Thursday, July 23rd – Sunday, July 26th

BART GOT A ROOM -- DVD review by porfle

Remember your senior prom? Not me--I didn't go to mine. Which makes me even more of a loser than Danny Stein, the main character of BART GOT A ROOM (2008). Worse than that, it makes me even more of a loser than Bart, the biggest loser in all of Hollywood Hills High and the guy against whom everyone else measures their own levels of loserdom. The fact that Bart has secured both a prom date and a hotel room and Danny hasn't provides the story's driving force and most of its exquisitely dry humor.

The setting is Hollywood, Florida, which means that this movie is filled with old people. They're all over the place--Danny seems surrounded by old geezers, forever subjected to their bemused reactions to his youthful social melodramas and constant meddling in same. His usual reaction to all this is a deadpan resignation which actor Steven Kaplan pulls off beautifully. Kaplan doesn't mug for laughs or spaz out like Jerry Lewis, or even whine neurotically like Woody Allen. He's funny because extreme adversity seems to overwhelm him with a sense of paralyzed mortification even though we can sense the frantic turmoil raging behind that stoic demeanor.

Danny's attempts to secure a date are marvelously doomed. In one of the best scenes, he's sitting in an ice cream shop with the sexy sophomore cheerleader whom he drives to and from school every day. In his mind, her slow, deliberate licking of her cone is a come-on, but when he mentions this, she's stricken with a quiet, incredulous disgust. "How do you eat your ice cream?" she asks before storming out of his life. Another scene in which he misses out on a blind date with the absolute hottest babe in town because his platonic childhood friend Camille (Alia Shawkat) shows up at just the wrong time is a grueling exercise in frustration that had me trembling in sympathetic agony.

Brandon Hardesty plays Danny's disaffected rich friend Craig, who dispenses worldly-sounding romantic advice while floating like a bloated corpse around his swimming pool. It's all worthless, but Danny doesn't find this out until it's too late, and even his standby last-resort date, Camille, has given up on him and accepted an invitation from someone else. We know, of course, that sweet, long-suffering Camille, who has always loved him, is the perfect choice but we also know, of course, that Danny will remain absolutely unaware of this until...well, you know. It's the inevitable way that this story is going to end, and knowing this doesn't take anything away from it. Heck, we're supposed to know it. Till then, though, Danny's impending prom nightmare keeps getting ever closer as his desperation mounts and everything starts going wrong.

His divorced parents, Beth (Cheryl Hines) and Ernie (William H. Macy), try to help but they have problems of their own. Beth fears for her future financial security and has just about settled on a new beau, Bob, played by the great Jon Polito with all the rumpled, hangdog smarm he can muster. The wonderfully talented Cheryl Hines is just too hot to be playing somebody's mom, which I find distracting. Whenever she and Kaplan are together I keep having student-teacher fantasies or casting them as Mrs. Robinson and Ben in a mental remake of THE GRADUATE. Still, she's pitch-perfect in this role.

As Danny's down-on-his-luck dad Ernie, afro-bewigged William H. Macy is a delight. Reluctant new-bachelor Ernie takes an active interest in helping Danny through his romantic troubles while barely able to keep his own dates from excusing themselves during dinner and then fleeing in horror. His singleminded efforts to secure Danny a last-second prom date are hilarious, although the scene with him and Jennifer Tilly may give you a huge case of that sympathetic agony I was talking about.

The DVD is 1.85:1/16 x 9 with Dolby Surround 5.1 and English and Spanish subtitles. Included are trailers for this and other Anchor Bay releases, and a pop-up text commentary track that's so much fun it's worth rewatching the movie immediately. Another reason for doing so is to fully appreciate the diverse soundtrack which is a pleasingly eclectic mix of modern music, big band, jazz, and other styles.

A South Florida native himself, director Brian Hecker based most of this stuff on his own experiences and it shows in his witty, perceptive script and breezily inventive direction. This isn't your usual screwball, gross-out, PORKY'S-style teen T & A farce in any way, shape, or form. It's smart without really trying to be, heartfelt and moving in ways that aren't always obvious, and ultimately quite joyous. I don't think I actually laughed out loud a single time during BART GOT A ROOM, yet I found it to be one of the funniest and most enjoyable laugh-on-the-inside comedies I've seen in years. It almost makes me wish I'd had similar prom disaster experiences to look back on with retrospective amusement. Almost.

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"BIG MAN JAPAN" and "SEVERED WAYS" - on DVD July 28th from Magnolia Home Entertainment

A Japanese Monster Movie For The Modern Generation, BIG MAN JAPAN Staring Pop Icon Hitoshi Matusmoto, Arrives On DVD July 28 from Magnolia Home Entertainment As Part Of The Magnet Six Shooter Film Series

“From deadpan to Ultraman”(UGO)

“Surpasses any mockumentary you've ever seen.”(Boxoffice Magazine)

Part live-action, part CGI, BIG MAN JAPAN follows the mundane, yet outlandish life of Daisato (Masumoto), a middle-aged man living in a rundown, graffiti-ridden slum.

Entrusted with defending Japan from its various villains and monsters, his bizarre job involves being shocked by bolts of electricity that transform him into a several-stories-high giant. Instead of rising up as a hero, he is an outcast among the citizens he protects, who bitterly complain about the noise and destruction of property he causes.

Putting a dark, comedic spin on the giant Japanese superhero, BIG MAN JAPAN is an outrageous portrait of a pathetic but truly unique hero.

Actors: Riki Takeuchi
Directors: Hitoshi Matsumoto
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Language: Japanese
Subtitles: English, Spanish
Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)
Number of discs: 1
Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Studio: Magnolia Home Entertainment
DVD Release Date: July 28, 2009
Run Time: 108 minutes

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An Epic Adventure Of Exploration, SEVERED WAYS Arrives On DVD July 28 From Magnolia Home Entertainment

“Beautifully shot.”New York Magazine

“A must see.”LA Weekly

“A visionary work from one of the promising new American narrative filmmakers in recent years.”Indiewire

In the 11th century, Vikings, Native Americans, and Irish monks collide on the shores of North America in a historical epic adventure of exploration, personal glory, and religious dominance. Abandoned by a Western exploration party and stranded in the New World, two lone Vikings wade through a grand primeval landscape, searching against all odds to find their way home. As they struggle to survive in the surrounding vast forests, their paths diverge as one pursues a spiritual quest and the other reverts to his primal instincts.

Written, directed by and starring Tony Stone in his feature length debut, SEVERED WAYS features a frosty black metal soundtrack, including Burzum, Morbid Angel, Judas Priest and Dimmu Borgir.

Actors: Gaby Hoffman
Directors: Tony Stone
Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, DVD, NTSC, Subtitled, Widescreen
Language: English
Subtitles: English, Spanish
Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)
Number of discs: 1
Rating: Unrated
Studio: Magnolia Home Entertainment
DVD Release Date: July 28, 2009
Run Time: 109 minutes
Buy it at Amazon.com

"THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD SHOW" -- DVD review by porfle

DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD SIGHTING!!!

That's right--I received a copy of "THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD SHOW" in the mail, popped it into my DVD player, and sure enough, I sighted him right off. Or perhaps it would be more grammatically correct to say that I "sought" him. Or maybe even "sawed" him. One thing's for sure, somebody definitely sawed him--his head off, that is!

Seriously, though, getting this DVD was a big surprise. Sure, I requested a copy, but getting it was a big surprise. That feeling continued throughout my entire viewing, as I kept asking myself, "How do they get stuff like this to stick to one of those discs?" And when it was over, I knew that I would never, ever, ever, never, ever forget this memorable occasion of me watching this thing where some people did stuff.

Yes, "The Drunken Severed Head Show" has actual people in it, just like a Steven Spielberg movie! Blogosphere superstar Max Cheney is the perpetually-soused title character in one of the finest neck-up performances since Jack Webb in DRAGNET. When he gets together with Chuck Alexander as the mad Dr. Emil Demahn, you'll think you've been transported back to the glory days of the old vaudeville teams like Schmeckel and Mountbatten, or those two guys who tried to escape from Alcatraz disguised as giant tubes of Preparation H.

"Last week, you may remember," the Drunken Severed Head addresses us, "we made a cocktail known as the Jack-o-Lantern. One gulp, and you're lit up and lying in the driveway. This week, we're gonna make a drink called the Gay Vision. One gulp, and you can't see straight."


My favorite part of the show, however, is the beautiful and sexy and beautiful Bella Morta, who is played by the--ehhh--Amberleigh Miller, who is played by herself. She has big boobies!!! And is a great actress. Ehhh. And last but certainly least is Lance Jerlsberg as Flotsam the Hunchback, who is played out.

DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD: "That poor man. How did he get that hump?"

DR. DEMAHN: "From smoking too many Camels."


The thrill-packed story comes to its shattering conclusion when Dr. Demahn gives the head a mechanical body and it goes on a frenzied rampage of destruction the likes of which the world hasn't seen since Elizabeth Taylor's last bon-bon rolled under the couch back in 1987. And the very last shot was, like, totally copied by Stanley Kubrick in DR. STRANGELOVE! I smell a lawsuit! Anyway, I smell something.

Bonus features, we got. In fact, three whole commentary tracks we got. "But even CITIZEN KANE didn't get three commentary tracks!" you're thinking. FEH! CITIZEN KANE had a giant head, not a drunken severed head. Oxydation of the nitrate, it should get! So anyway, in the first commentary you get the Head, beloved film auteur Ted Newsom, and the venerable Jon Carradyne, as channeled by Ted Newsom. In the second, you the Head and the venerable Jon Carradyne, this time channeled, spanked, bikini-waxed, and hung up to dry by Ted Newsom. And in the third you just get the Head and Ted Newsom, channeled by Ted Newsom. Then there's a selection of deleted scenes and bloopers. Bloopers? Are those the scenes where they didn't screw up? Lastly, there's a photo gallery, which, to my surprise, contains actual photos.


According to the Hollywood rumor mill, this film went so far over budget that it singlehandedly drove Severed Head Productions, along with Someone Somewhere and Zeno Films, into total bankruptcy. Estimated final cost of the production is believed to have been well into the teens.

Co-director and star Cheney himself fills us in on the film's premiere "at a private gathering held at the recent Monster Bash convention. Actors Janet Ann Gallow, Jonathon Haze, Mark Redfield, and Jennifer Rouse were among those in attendance. And the amazing David Colton, too! The poor saps.

"Reviews were mixed.

"Ms. Gallow said it was cute and funny, and reminded her of a recent comic indie film she had a part in.

"My friend Rob Tullo said, 'Four copies would make a nice set of coasters.'

"My friend Robert Taylor said it was 'A horror pun-fest that only Max could have created. My prediction is that he will be up for an Academy nomination OR an atomic wedgie!'"

"Where in the world can I get my own copy of this masterpiece?" you may ask. Who are you talking to? I can't hear you. But to answer your question, you can get a copy of THE DRUNKEN SEVERED HEAD SHOW in either of the following two ways (three, if you have Max Cheney's home address and a box of Ding-Dongs):

1. Contact The Drunken Severed Head at his own incredible BLOG!
2. See it right now on YouTube!

After watching "The Drunken Severed Head Show", you won't believe it's only ten minutes long. Why, it seemed like it lasted forever! And even after repeated viewings, I seem to notice something completely different every time. Last time I watched it, I noticed that my toenails needed trimming and that there was a dark splotch on the wall behind the TV that looked just like Elvis--with big boobies!!!

THIS AMERICAN LIFE: SEASON TWO -- DVD review by porfle

Beginning as a "journalistic non-fiction" series on Chicago Public Radio, Showtime's "This American Life" takes host Ira Glass all over the USA looking for unique people with interesting stories. THIS AMERICAN LIFE: SEASON TWO, containing all six episodes on one disc, is a collection of these true-life tales which range from mildly interesting to downright fascinating.

Most episodes present two-to-four slice-of-life vignettes loosely based on a single theme. "Escape" begins with the incongruous sight of a group of inner-city kids ambling down the grimy streets of North Philadelphia on horseback. Thanks to the man who runs the stable (which has since closed, according to the commentary), these kids get to escape their dreary lives for a few hours a day and gain some self-respect by riding and caring for the horses.

Next is the amazing story of a guy named Mike who has spinal muscular atrophy. With a tiny body that resembles a deflated balloon, Mike is totally helpless and dependent on his mother. At 27, however, he wants to escape from her and live his own life, which presents a number of problems. Unable to speak--his finger moves just enough to operate a device that types his words on a monitor--Mike chooses either Johnny Depp or Edward Norton as the person with whose voice he'd most prefer replacing his robotlike computer one. Depp accepts the assignment and reads Mike's written thoughts and feelings for us during the segment. Mike is remarkably resilient, upbeat, and optimistic despite his often tenuous hold on life, and his story is hardly the maudlin "inspirational" blather it might have been.

"Two Wars" is about an Iraqi student living in the US after fleeing his war-ravaged home country. As a summer vacation social experiment, he travels from place to place, setting up a stand with a sign reading "Talk To An Iraqi" (an idea he admits to have copped from Charles Schultz). This results in a predictably wide range of views and opinions exchanged by him and the various Americans who take him up on the offer. Then we encounter a Bulgarian man living in Rhode Island who refuses to mow his lawn, to the constant chagrin of his American wife. He manages to come up with a political justification for this, which I don't buy for a second. I'm lazy too, see--enough to recognize it in someone else even when he calls it a "laidback approach to life" coupled with an Eastern European "irony and cynicism." His wife asks, "So, you think it's ironic not to mow the lawn?" to which he rather lamely responds, "No, it's ironic...to want to mow the lawn." Uh-huh. Admit it, dude, you're just plain lazy. Next.

"Going Down In History" starts with a hilarious account of two convicts who make a daring and rather ingenious escape attempt using dental floss. An amusing look at the impermanence of our youthful memories centers around "Picture Day" at a high school. Lastly, a birdwatcher scouring the swamps for the elusive ivory-billed woodpecker, rumored to have been extinct for the last fifty years, insists that he captured a fleeting glimpse of one on a grainy videotape in 2005. He admits that his evidence is about as convincing as the average Bigfoot film, yet convinced he is, and in the swamp he remains.

The final act of this episode, however, is the most startling. A man who was beaten almost to death by a group of guys in a parking lot several years ago now gets revenge by casting his attackers as SS officers in a one-sixth scale recreation of a Belgian village that he's built in his backyard. Painstakingly modified action figures stand in for the Nazis, the villagers, and the heroic freedom fighters of which he is one, along with a green-haired femme fatale from the future who serves as his faithful protector. Obsessed with his self-created fantasy world, he has devoted his life to depicting the bloody demise of these SS officers, over and over again, and the romantic exploits of his one-sixth-scale surrogate self, diligently photographing the results (which would make a bitchin' fumetti). Needless to say, the guy doesn't get out much.

"Underdogs" reveals a side of boxing of which I was unaware--fighters referred to as "opponents" who, although they do their best, are expected to lose in order to chalk up victories on an up-and-coming boxer's record. Even so, they must win occasionally in order to qualify as worthy fighters. Here, we see two such opponents pitted together in a fight each must win to stay in the game. It's an emotional segment in which I found it hard to decide who to root for, since they're both decent guys who really need the money and the respect. Act two explores the unusual world of adolescent stand-up comics who use humor to transcend their status as picked-on social outcasts. I'd like to have heard more of these kids' comedy acts, but unfortunately some droll, droning adult "spoken word" performer dominates the segment with his dull commentary.

"Scenes From a Marriage" is the most riveting episode in the collection. After an amusing cartoon intro that explores how different a husband and wife's perceptions of the same event can be, we're introduced to a 54-year-old man named George and his 18-year-old Korean mail-order-bride. Theirs is an idyllic life on their rolling acres of beautiful secluded land as they frolic with their dogs and make like a rustic Adam and Eve. Which is what this documentary was intended to be about--until something happens that unexpectedly flips the whole thing upside-down and turns it into a waking nightmare. And all because George, who is so nice and normal and level-headed most of the time, seems to have this one little itty-bitty teeny-tiny screw loose in his head.

Finally, there's the extended episode "John Smith", a composite story of a life told through several different John Smiths, each at a different stage from infancy to one foot in the grave. It's a cute idea that doesn't really come together as intended but has a lot of heartfelt moments.

The DVD is widescreen with Dolby Digital sound. I found the music quite irritating throughout, but maybe that's just me. The main bonus feature is the almost 90-minute presentation "This American Life LIVE!", a multi-media show performed by Glass in front of a theater audience. He presents scenes from the series on the big screen while sitting at a mock-up of his radio DJ console, occasionally inviting director Christopher Wilcha out for a chat as well. Glass and Wilcha also do a commentary track for the first episode ("Escape"), and there's a small photo gallery.

"Scenes From a Marriage" probably comes closest to what I consider a real documentary, meaning that the filmmakers simply point their cameras at real life and shoot. It's harder to do, it takes more time and patience, and there's a lot more footage to sort through looking for the good stuff to edit together. But it really pays off by convincing us that what we're seeing is real and is happening before our eyes. Other segments such as "Picture Day" consist mainly of interviews, which is fine.

A lot of what we see on "This American Life" is what I think of as "designer" documentaries, so carefully directed and cinematic that they're more staged than real. The story of Mike, the young man suffering from spinal muscular atrophy, is a good example. The subjects are portraying themselves in re-enactments that are so preplanned as to seem storyboarded. Not much spontaneity, except when the camera inadvertently captures some genuine unexpected moment of real life, usually during the interview shots when people are candidly revealing their thoughts.

As director Christopher Wilcha puts it:

"...the radio show is sort of cinematic, these vivid characters and these vivid scenes and stories, and so we wanted to do something sort of cinematic. The radio show isn't straight news, and it's not straight documentary. And we wanted to try and translate that, so I think our reference points were often fiction films, and trying to just be a little more ambitious with the image-making."

I usually find this kind of made-to-order documentary technique bothersome, but "This American Life" does it very well. With their choice of subject matter and keen manipulation of same in order to present it in the most dramatic way possible, Glass and Wilcha have managed to create some wonderfully compelling television.

Buy it at Amazon.com

September Releases From CBS Home Entertainment and Paramount Home Entertainment

STAR TREK THE ORIGINAL SERIES--SEASON TWO BLU-RAY
Space. The Final Frontier. The U.S.S. Enterprise embarks on a five year mission to explore the galaxy. The Enterprise is under the command of Captain James T. Kirk. The First Officer is Mr. Spock, from the planet Vulcan. The Chief Medical Officer is Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy. With a determined crew, the Enterprise encounters Klingons, Romulans, time paradoxes, tribbles, and genetic supermen led by Khan Noonian Singh. Their mission is to explore strange new worlds, to seek new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Actors: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, Eddie Paskey, Bill Blackburn, Walter Koenig, George Takei, Majel Barrett

ONE STEP BEYOND: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON
"One Step Beyond" was mainly filmed at MGM Studios, and partly at MGM British Studios, Borehamwood, Herts. It premiered nine months before "The Twilight Zone", and was also known as "Alcoa Presents: One Step Beyond." All episodes are directed by host John Newland himself, a dab hand whose trademark is subtle, balletic camera work. This series fed the nation's growing interest in paranormal suspense in a different way. Rather than creating fictional stories with supernatural twists and turns, this program sought out "real" stories of the supernatural, including ghosts, disappearances, monsters, etc., and re-creating them for each episode. No solutions to these mysteries were ever found, and viewers could only scratch their heads and wonder, "what if it's real?"

Host: John Newland

Format: Box set, Black & White, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC

Language: English

Number of discs: 3

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 15, 2009

Run Time: 561 minutes

Buy it at Amazon.com

FRIDAY THE 13TH-THE SERIES: THE FINAL SEASON (US ONLY)
The suspense-drama series that brought back the serial horror genre to television features intense psychological terror and chilling suspense. Each eerie episode centers on an unlikely trio who run a shop full of rare and mysterious antiques whose previous owner was killed after making a sinister pact with the Devil. The team must race against time and fate to retrieve each diabolically cursed item sold from the hexed store before it unleashes its deadly force.

Actors: Louise Robey, John D. LeMay, Steve Monarque, Chris Wiggins

Format: Box set, Color, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC

Language: English

Number of discs: 5

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 22, 2009

Run Time: 914 minutes

Buy it at Amazon.com

GHOST WHISPERER: THE FOURTH SEASON
Melinda Gordon communicates with earthbound spirits, ghosts who cling to the living because they have unfinished business that prevents them from moving beyond the familiar plane of existence that we call life. Inspired in part by the work of famed medium James Van Praagh and of Mary Ann Winkowski, a real-life communicator with spirits, "Ghost Whisperer" explores the spiritual side of life and death as Melinda navigates among the dead and the living in her sometimes chilling, sometimes heart-rending and sometimes amusing attempts to act as an intermediary between the ghosts and those they haunt.

Jim, her husband, worries about the emotional toll this work is taking on his wife as they embark on a new life together. Melinda recently has revealed her gift to her new friend, Delia Banks, a single mom who works in Melinda's antique shop. For her part, Melinda accepts her unique abilities as a blessing and sometimes curse, but always helps her clients, alive or dead, find emotional closure.

Actors: Jennifer Love Hewitt, David Conrad, Jamie Kennedy, Camryn Manheim

Format: Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)

Number of discs: 1

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 22, 2009

Run Time: 1015 minutes

Buy it at Amazon.com

BONANZA: SEASON ONE, VOLUME ONE/VOLUME TWO
One of the longest running and most popular of ll television westerns, "Bonanza" was both an action/adventure classic and family drama. For fourteen seasons, audiences enthusiastically tuned in to see the High Sierra adventures of the Cartwright clan. Nestled amongst the pines above the shores of Lake Tahoe is the Ponderosa ranch, the thousand-acre home of Ben Cartwright and his sons, Adam, Hoss, and Joe (aka "Little Joe"). Plots featuring revolving cast of interesting guest players helped to set Bonanza apart from the usual gun-slinging formula Westerns of the day.

Actors: Lorne Greene, Pernell Roberts, Dan Blocker, Michael Landon, Victor Yung

Format: Box set, Color, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. )

Number of discs: 8

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount Home Entertainment

DVD Release Date: September 15, 2009

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CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION: THE NINTH SEASON DVD AND BLU-RAY (US ONLY)
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" is a fast-paced drama about a passionate team of forensic investigators trained to solve crimes the old-fashioned way--by examining the evidence. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation is on the case 24-7, scouring the scene, collecting irrefutable evidence and finding the missing pieces that will solve the mystery.

Actors: William L. Peterson, Marg Helgenberger, Gary Dourdan, Eric Szmanda, Laurence Fishburne, George Eads, Wallace Langham, Lauren Lee Smith, Paul Guilfoyle

Format: AC-3, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, Subtitled, Widescreen

Language: English

Subtitles: English, Spanish

Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Number of discs: 6

Rating: Unrated

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 1, 2009

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CSI MIAMI: THE COMPLETE SEVENTH SEASON (US ONLY)
Join lead criminalist Horatio Caine (David Caruso) and his state-of-the-art forensics team as they investigate hot and steamy Miami crimes using cold hard facts. The evidence leads into seedy nightclubs, privileged suburbs, and explosive family secrets. The stakes are higher than ever before, because this time it's personal.

Actors: David Caruso, Emily Procter, Adam Rodriguez, Jonathan Togo, Megalyn Echikunwoke, Eve LaRue

Format: AC-3, Box set, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD, Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)

Number of discs: 1

Rating: Unrated

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 15, 2009

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CRIMINAL MINDS: THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON
"Criminal Minds" revolves around an elite team of FBI profilers who analyze the country's most twisted criminal minds, anticipating their next moves before they strike again. The Behavorial Analysis Unit's most prominent agent is David Rossi (Joe Mantegna), a founding member of the BAU, who returns to help the team solve new cases, while pursuing some unfinished business of his own. Each member brings his or her own area of expertise to the table as they pinpoint predators' motivations and identify their emotional triggers in the attempt to stop them.

Actors: Joe Mantegna, Paget Brewster, A.J. Cook, Thomas Gibson, Matthew Gubler, Shemar Moore, Kirsten Vangsness

Format: AC-3, Box set, Color, Dolby, DVD, Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)
Number of discs: 7

Rating: Unrated

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 8, 2009

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THE GAME: THE FIRST SEASON
Being the wife or girlfriend of a pro-football player might sound like glamorous and stress-free existence, but Melanie Barnett (Tia Mowry) is about to discover the truth. Melanie's boyfriend, Derwin, is the new third-string wide receiver for the San Diego Sabers. While Derwin worries about the plays on the field, Melanie learns about the power plays that NFL wives use to get their men the best agents, managers, endorsements, merchandising deals and even the "in" charity. As she deals with egos, groupies, and image consultants, Melanie is finding out how "the game" is played among the women behind the athletes.

Actors: Tia Mowry, Coby Bell, Hosea Chanchez, Brittany Daniel, Pooch Hall, Wendy Robinson

Format: AC-3, Box set, Color, Dolby, DVD, Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Number of discs: 3

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 1, 2009

Run Time: 458 minutes

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CSI: NY: THE FIFTH SEASON (US ONLY)
"CSI: NY", the third incarnation of the "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" franchise and the spin-off of CSI: Miami, is a crime drama about forensic investigators who use high-tech science to follow the evidence and solve crimes in The Big Apple.

Actors: Gary Sinise, Melina Kanakaredes, Carmine Glovinazzo, Eddie Cahill, Anna Belknap, A.J. Buckley

Format: AC-3, Box set, Color, Dolby, Dubbed, DVD, Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)

Number of discs: 1

Rating: Unrated

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 29, 2009

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TAXI: THE FOURTH SEASON
"Taxi" followed the life of a group of cabbies in New York. The group, employees of the Sunshine Cab Company, was made up of a motley crew including Bobby (Jeff Conaway), a frustrated actor, Tony (Tony Danza), a struggling boxer, Louie (Danny DeVito), the tyrannical dispatcher, and Reverend Jim (Christopher Lloyd), a spacey ex-hippie. The classic ensemble sitcom was hailed by critics and audiences alike after premiering on ABC Sept. 12, 1978. It's a vehicle with heart, as well as humor, and won three straight Emmys as Outstanding Comedy Series.

Actors: Judd Hirsch, Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman, Tony Danza, Christopher Lloyd

Format: Box set, Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, Full Screen, NTSC

Language: English

Number of discs: 3

Rating: Unrated

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 22, 2009

Run Time: 581 minutes

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HARPER'S ISLAND: THE DVD EDITION
"Harper's Island" is about a group of family and friends who travel to a secluded island off the coast of Seattle for a destination wedding. This island is famous for a streak of unsolved murders from seven years ago. In every episode, someone is killed and every person is a suspect, from the wedding party to the island locals. By the end of the 13 episodes, all questions will be answered, the killer will be revealed, and only a few will survive.

Actors: Jim Beaver, Adam Campbell, Christopher Gorham

Format: AC-3, Box set, Color, Dolby, DVD, Widescreen, NTSC

Language: English

Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only.)
Number of discs: 1

Rating: NR (Not Rated)

Studio: Paramount

DVD Release Date: September 8, 2009

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HOTEL: THE FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

If you watched TV during the 80s, you pretty much knew what to expect when you saw Aaron Spelling's name in the credits. And with shows like "The Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island" having paid off so handsomely for the superstar producer, it's not surprising that he would take the same multi-guest star, multi-subplot formula and shove it into the setting of a bustling five-star hotel. As the taxicabs full of guests start pulling up out front, you almost expect Tattoo to ask, "Who's going to be staying with us next, Boss?"

Loosely based on Arthur Hailey's 1965 novel, "Hotel" premiered in 1983 and ran for 115 episodes. CBS/Paramount's new 6-disc set HOTEL: THE FIRST SEASON gives us the initial 22 episodes including the feature-length pilot, which sets the old formula in motion with all the usual elements: an ostentatious setting, in this case San Francisco's luxurious Saint Gregory Hotel; a regular cast of employees to interact with the guests; and a revolving-door parade of familiar up-and-comers, has-beens, character actors, and TV show drones to populate the various subplots which play themselves out with varying levels of interest. Through it all, the composers hired to slather music over all this schmaltz work the hell out of Henry Mancini's unctuous theme.

Much of the action occurs within the spacious lobby set, which is as delightfully gaudy and tacky as the show itself. James Brolin, as handsome hotel manager Peter McDermott, is the focal point for most of the dramatic events and is responsible for maintaining order and keeping everybody happy. Much better later in life as an older character actor, the young Brolin is rather unremarkable yet capable, and is a likable and comforting presence.

The same can be said of Connie Sellecca as his go-getter assistant Christine Francis. Nathan Cook is Billy Griffin, the hotel's security man who has a special understanding of the criminal mind since he's an ex-con himself. The beautiful Shari Belafonte is receptionist Julie Gillette, and the pleasantly bland Shea Farrell is Mark Danning, the hotel's guest relations director or something. Michael Spound and Heidi Bohay play Dave and Megan Kendall, a bellhop and desk clerk who are married but can never seem to find time in their busy day to spend together. This boring and mostly useless couple supplies the show with some of its more lame attempts at intentional humor, although the dramatic scenes are where the real laughs come from.

One of the highlights of the pilot episode is the casting of Hollywood legend Bette Davis as Mrs. Trent, the widow of the novel's hotel owner Warren Trent. Looking quite frail by this time, Bette still manages to give a strong, skilled performance. Sudden illness, however, would lead to her being replaced by another seasoned actress, Anne Baxter, as Mrs. Trent's half-sister Victoria Cabot. In Davis' absence, Baxter does her best to supply the Old Hollywood gloss that Spelling is aiming for with this series.

Indeed, much of what goes on in the St. Gregory would make fine fodder for the standard "women's pictures" that Hollywood used to churn out back in the 50s and 60s. Standing in for Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman in the premiere episode are Pernell Roberts and Shirley Jones as a recently divorced man and a woman toying with the notion of leaving her unfaithful husband. They meet-cute in the hotel bar and have one of those tender, tentative, and seemingly doomed September romances replete with hokey dialogue, tender gazes, walks in the park, and waves of maudlin music. Ross Hunter would be proud.

As you might guess, plenty of choice dialogue goes on elsewhere in the hotel. After Christine complains of a guest making amorous suggestions, Peter assures her: "Listen, I've had my share of female guests hitting on me...along with the males. Goes with the territory." In another scene, Anne Baxter shares champagne with old flame Stewart Granger along with the following exchange:

"I'd say our memories held up...rather well."
"If not our hearts."
"To recollections?"
"To expectations."

If it sounds as though I didn't enjoy watching "Hotel" very much, let me stress that I find Aaron Spelling's attempts to transfer the splendor of Old Hollywood into the super-cheesy world of 70s and 80s television to be perversely entertaining. And speaking of cheese, you haven't lived until you've seen the episode with Heather Locklear as a career beauty pageant contestant constantly being prodded by her mother, Connie Stevens, who feeds vicariously off her success. During a rehearsal session, we find that Heather's "talent" is--get this--a jolly fitness dance, complete with leg warmers.

But that's not all, because during her dance, we notice that she begins to change into a different person in the wide shots. That's right, in classic FLASHDANCE style, a stand-in does the actual dancing, boogeying her steel buns off while Heather shimmies her shoulders slightly or waves her arms to and fro in the closeups. They don't even try to hide the fact that there's a different person with totally different hair (not to mention totally different face!) in the wide shots. And to top it off, "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall plays a lecherous contest judge with whom Heather must have sex in order to assure his vote. X gets the square! It's just too good to be true.

The lengthy guest roster for the first episode alone is enough to take a pop culture fan's breath away. Check it out: Morgan Fairchild, Lloyd Bochner, Jack Gilford, Shirley Jones, Pernell Roberts, Stephanie Faracy, Lainie Kazan, Bill Macy, Erin Moran, Alejandro Rey, notoriously awful former child star Lee Montgomery, and, last but not least, Mel Tormé. That's just one episode! Morgan Fairchild plays a hooker hired to devirginize a young high school boy and is then gang-raped by some of his classmates, giving her a chance to emote her head off while Brolin tries to persuade her to press charges. During a scene in which they're walking around discussing the matter, it suddenly occurred to me: "Oh my god...it's a montage!" Sure enough, the two are strolling on the beach, taking in Fisherman's Wharf, doing fun stuff, having a gay laugh or two...I almost expected them to start squirting hot dog mustard at each other.

A little "Love Boat"-style comedy relief comes in the form of Lainie Kazan as a wife who so horribly henpecks husband Bill Macy that he runs away and becomes a banjo player in a ragtime band. But as far as laughs are concerned, this can't come close to Erin Moran as an aspiring singer who gets her big break performing in the lounge with Mel Torme'. When he makes the momentous introduction and invites her to join him onstage after his awesome set, with the audience primed with anticipation, what timeless lyrical standard does she launch into? "Delta Dawn." I am not making that up.

The wide-open format even takes us into thriller territory as Connie Sellecca's Christine finds herself being terrorized by Richard Hatch as a crazed stalker with access to her suite. Robert "Mike Brady" Reed pops up as an enraged father whose daughter claims that a hotel-provided babysitter (Leigh McCloskey) has molested her. In the same episode, Dack Rambo and Michelle Phillips fulfill the show's daily minimum romance requirement as strangers who hit it off and have sex--after which she discovers that he's a priest. Oops! A comedy segment that's actually kind of funny has Dick Van Patten as a mild-mannered guest whom bellhop Dave mistakes for a famous hotel critic, thus ensuring that the delighted dweeb receives the royal treatment during every minute of his stay.

The guest line-ups for the rest of the episodes are smaller than in the premiere movie, but seeing who's going show up next is still one of the most fun things about "Hotel." Some of the likely and unlikely faces appearing in this set include Robert Vaughn (in drag, no less!), Shelley Winters, Lew Ayres, Sally Kellerman, Robert Stack, José Ferrer, Howard Duff, Jean Simmons, Elinor Donahue, Carol Lynley, Robert Hooks, Leigh Taylor-Young, Peggy Cass, Craig Stevens, Donald O'Connor, Eleanor Parker, Ron Ely, Hermione Gingold, Tom Smothers, Nanette Fabray, Vera Miles, Arte Johnson, George Lazenby, McLean Stevenson, Kay Lenz, Danielle Brisebois, Christoper Norris, Markie Post, Bradford Dillman, and Melissa Sue Anderson.

The list continues with Army Archerd (playing himself, as usual), Liberace (also as himself, God help us), Jane Wyatt, Lynn Redgrave, Patty McCormack, Paul Burke, Roy Thinnes, Steve Forrest, Hope Lange, Adrienne Barbeau, Margaret O'Brien, Donna Pescow, Vic Tayback, pint-sized femme fatale Charlene Tilton, John McIntyre, Jeanette Nolan, Tori Spelling (big surprise), Scott Baio, Diane Canova, Dina Merrill, Rebecca Balding, Cathy Lee Crosby, Bo Hopkins, WKRP's Jan Smithers, Eva Gabor, Louis Jourdan, and Englebert Humperdinck as singing sensation "Danny Maxwell." As you can see, this set is jam-packed with familiar faces for those of us interested in such things.

The set has no bonus features. Picture quality is generally good although the openings are a bit speckly as are a few other occasional spots. Not enough to bother me any, but nitpickier viewers may be annoyed.

While there are some storylines here and there that manage to generate actual dramatic interest (the one in which Jan Smithers shows up with a little boy and tells Peter that he's the father is an attention-getter), much of the melodrama on this show can't be taken seriously--it's such old-fashioned, over-the-top soap opera, played in such a deadly earnest manner, that it seems to dare you not to either laugh yourself silly or keel over in a stupor. Yet HOTEL: THE FIRST SEASON, with all its chintzy opulence, is so bald-faced straightforward in its intentions that it rates a luxury suite in the "So Bad It's Good" wing of the TV Land Hotel.

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Rob Zombie Presents "THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO" on DVD and Blu-ray September 22nd from Anchor Bay Entertainment

UNDEAD NAZIS, HORNY ROBOTS AND STRIPPERS GET ANIMATED ON DVD!


Beverly Hills, CA –Anchor Bay Entertainment will release The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, the first full-length animated feature from Director/Writer Rob Zombie (The Devil’s Rejects and 2009’s Halloween), on DVD and Blu-ray™ on September 22, 2009.

A longtime pet project of Zombie (he based it on his comic book), The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, is an ultra-hip, wickedly funny fantasy that’s a colorful blend of Fritz the Cat, “Scooby-Doo,” “Ren and Stimpy,” and Santo wrestling flicks. El Superbeasto is “Adults Only” animation available on DVD for an SRP of $19.97 and Blu-ray™ for $34.98.

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto is the twisted tale of El Superbeasto (voiced by Tom Papa), a former world class masked wrestler with super human strength, who now finds himself in the very ordinary capacity as producer/director/star of BeastoWorld Enterprises. But when he can, Beasto spends time fighting evil along with his with his super-sexy sister, Suzi X (Sheri Moon Zombie), in the spooky Monsterland. Our hefty hero faces his biggest battle when he struggles to stop the unholy marriage of foul-mouthed stripper Velvet Von Black (Rosario Dawson) and the diabolical Dr. Satan (Paul Giamatti). Will all hell break loose or will our man save the day? The answer can only be found in The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, a depraved adventure with filthy comedy, ultra-violence, and some bad-ass theme songs!

Along with the distinct voice work of Dawson, Giamatti, Moon Zombie, and Papa, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto also features many other instantly recognizable performers including Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, Daniel Roebuck, Harland Williams, Cassandra Peterson, Clint Howard, Dee Wallace, Rob Paulsen, Tura Satana, and Danny Trejo.

With Rob Zombie, a cast of fan favorites, and original songs by Hard ‘n Phirm; The Haunted World of El Superbeasto is a trash culture wild ride that’s a soon-to-be cult classic.

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (DVD)

Street Date: September 22, 2009
Prebook Date: August 20, 2009
Catalog #: P2097
UPC #: 0 1313 82097-8 8
Format: 1.78:1 / 16x9
Audio: Dolby Surround 5.1
Retail Price: $19.97
Genre: Horror/Comedy/Animation
Rating: R
Run Time: 77 minutes
Bonus Features: Animatics, deleted scenes and shots, alternate scenes

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (Blu-ray™)

Street Date: September 22, 2009
Prebook Date: August 20, 2009
Catalog #: N3118
UPC #: 0 1313 83118-8 7
Format: 1.78:1 / 16x9
Audio: Dolby TrueHD 5.1
Retail Price: $34.98
Genre: Horror/Comedy/Animation
Rating: R
Run Time: 77 minutes
Bonus Features: Animatics, deleted scenes and shots, alternate scenes

Buy it at Amazon.com-- DVD / Blu-Ray

THE LUCY SHOW: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON -- DVD review by porfle

Seeing Lucy and Viv climbing up onto the roof of their two-storey house to put up a TV antenna just seems to activate some primal response of giddy nostalgia in me. Sure, I love shows like "The Simpsons" and "Married with Children", but after years of seeing the traditional sitcom being deconstructed all to hell, it's nice to go back to basics and watch the real thing every once in a while. "The Lucy Show", needless to say, is definitely the real thing, a prime example of pure, cornball situation comedy with only one goal--to make us laugh--and every episode pays off like a slot machine.

THE LUCY SHOW: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON gives us the first thirty of those episodes on four discs, looking just about as good as they did when the show hit the airwaves back in 1962. Shot in beautiful black-and-white, it was the second TV collaboration between (now former) husband-and-wife team Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball after their long-running classic "I Love Lucy." Desi executive-produced the first fifteen episodes, making sure the show got off to a well-nurtured start before bowing out and leaving Lucy in charge of Desilu Studios, making her the first woman since Mary Pickford to fulfill such a position.

The show was filmed like a stage play before a live audience, using the same three-camera method pioneered by Desi and giving it a fast-paced, immediate quality. (Other series such as "The Dick Van Dyke Show" would use the three-camera method as well, which became especially prevalent in the 70s thanks to Norman Lear.) Of course, after the principal live photography was done, the director would shoot a number of obvious close-ups that are easy to spot and sometimes result in interesting continuity errors, some of which are featured in the "Flubs" section of each disc.

I don't remember the adventures of widowed single parent Lucy Carmichael being this funny when I used to watch the weekday morning reruns as a kid, but this is top-notch comedy writing performed by some of the most talented comics in showbiz history, and it's "wacky" in a way that you just don't see much anymore. Lucy herself was a marvel, plain and simple, able to deliver funny dialogue with perfect timing one minute and execute the most complex, physically demanding slapstick the next. She's so good here, sometimes it's downright awe-inspiring.

Put her in front of that live audience with a pair of stilts, a kangaroo costume, or a trampoline, and she keeps them in stitches with barely enough time to catch their breath. Not only that, but she also gets laughs just by sitting in a chair, trying not to nod off during a boring date at the symphony. I can't think of a single woman who comes close--she's very likely the funniest comedienne of all time.

On top of that, Lucy and Vivian Vance are a wonderful comedy team whose work together often rivals the likes of Laurel and Hardy and other well-known comic duos. Viv, here playing Lucy's divorced best friend and tenant, Vivian Bagley, is the perfect straight woman for Lucy--her reactions are priceless and the acting skills she brings with her from the theater compliment every gag without her ever having to resort to overstatement or mugging. Many episodes consist of a first half that sets up the premise, and then a second half which is an extended setpiece of compounding hilarity much like the sort of stuff Stan and Ollie used to perform in shorts like "Helpmates" or "Berth Marks." In the aforementioned "Lucy Puts Up a TV Antenna", we see definite echoes of the time "the boys" tried to install a radio antenna on Ollie's roof, with similar results.

It's amazing what they can accomplish with only a set of bunk beds in the episode "Lucy and her Electric Mattress"--one poor guy out in the audience sounds like he's laughing so hard they had to carry him out on a stretcher. "Lucy Buys a Sheep" and "Lucy Digs Up a Date" are more howlers that just keep paying off, especially in the latter when Lucy is forced to fence her way out of a YMCA in drag, using Viv as a human shield. Clearly, the writers (who also worked on "I Love Lucy") walk a tightrope between keeping the show somewhat rooted in reality while serving up slapstick that borders on farce.

"Lucy Builds a Rumpus Room" ends with our heroines literally glued to the wall and buried in coal. You'll just have to watch to see how they managed that feat. In "Together for Christmas", the constantly-squabbling friends go tit-for-tat Laurel-and-Hardy style as they destroy each other's Christmas trees in a frenzy of hacked-off branches and smashed ornaments. Echoes of Stan and Ollie's "Saps at Sea" can be found in "Lucy Buys a Boat", while titles like "Lucy Drives a Dump Truck" and "Lucy Takes Up Chemistry" are enough to make the viewer cringe with apprehension. And for sustained bellylaughs, you can't get much better than "Lucy is a Kangaroo for a Day."

One of the most astounding sequences occurs during the episode "Lucy and Viv Put In A Shower", in which the gals make a disastrous attempt at some do-it-yourself plumbing. A series of steadily mounting foulups results in them being trapped behind the shower door as the stall quickly fills up with water, until finally they have to dog-paddle to keep from going under. Not only do Lucy and Viv perform this difficult setpiece brilliantly, but (according to Wikipedia) Lucy almost drowns at one point and has to recover her breath and her wits while Vivian adlibs. "Where's Lloyd Bridges when you need him?" Lucy finally manages to sputter.

Supporting characters include Lucy's son Jerry and older daughter Chris, and Viv's son Sherman. Jerry (Jimmy Garrett) is the typical wisecracking little kid who manages to be funny without being too obnoxious, while Sherman (Ralph Hart) acts as a big-brother type. Perky blonde Chris (Candy Moore) is the standard early-60s teen who "digs" Bobby Darin and dates dweebs, and is cute enough to make us worry that Humbert Humbert may show up any minute looking for a room to rent. (Although, strangely enough, she's also a dead ringer for "Beaver" Cleaver's friend Gilbert!)

Dick Martin is his usual likable self as Lucy's neighbor and frequent last-resort date, Harry, and brawny Don Briggs plays Viv's jovial, big-lug boyfriend, Ed. Veteran character actor Charles Lane is superb, as always, in the role of Lucy's penny-pinching banker Mr. Barnsdahl (in the second season he'd be replaced by Gale Gordon as the immortal Mr. Mooney). In "Lucy the Soda Jerk", Lucy's real-life daughter Lucie Arnaz, who would later co-star with mom and brother Desi, Jr. on "Here's Lucy", makes her first major guest appearance on the show. Desi, Jr. also pops up as a cub scout in Lucy and Viv's troup in "Lucy Visits the White House."
The DVD collection's colorful packaging and animated menus are fun, and so are the scads of bonus features. Each of the four discs contains a selection of extras including:

"Flubs" --mostly continuity errors and such. In one episode, for example, a chair with Lucy's name printed on the back is visible in the background, and in another, Lucy calls a character by his real name.

"Special Footage" --A half-hour interview with Lucie Arnaz on disc one is filled with great insights about Lucy and the show, as is a 15-minute talk with Jimmy Garrett on disc four, in which he gives his former-child-star perspective and also takes a look at various "Lucy Show" comic books, games, and toys. There are also several 1962 promos for the show including scenes from "Opening Night" with Andy Griffith, Danny Thomas, Garry Moore, and Jack Benny.

"Original Elements" --These are the sponsor-related spots that are attached to the show's opening and closing, plus cast commercials for the various products, all of which can be viewed either seperately or included with each episode. Watch Vivian Vance read the cue cards! These elements were recently rediscovered and are a fun addition to the show.

"Meet Special People" --Profiles of the cast and crew.

"Production Notes" --miscellaneous behind-the-scenes tidbits of trivia.

"Guest Cast" --Profiles of all the main guests in each episode. Some of the many notable people appearing in this set are Hans Conried, William Windom, Majel Barrett, John McGiver, Del Moore, Vito Scotti, Don Grady, William Schallert, Mary Jane Croft, Mary Wickes, Ellen Corby, Philip Carey, Parley Baer, Paul Hartman, Nancy Kulp, Frank Aletter, Reta Shaw, Alan "Fred Flintstone" Reed, Janet "Judy Jetson" Waldo, Leon Belasco, Bobs Watson, "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, Frank Nelson (the "Yessss?" guy), Carole Cook, Jim Boles, Benny Rubin, and Stafford Repp.

Richly entertaining and brimming with comic surprises at every turn, THE LUCY SHOW: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON is a delightfully joyous wallow in just plain, good-old-fashioned sitcom fun. Not to mention a great reminder of just why Lucille Ball will always be considered TV's First Lady of Comedy.

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"An Empress And The Warriors" Special Collectors' Edition Comes to DVD 7/21/09

A threatened kingdom locked in an epic battle for survival searches for a hero in AN EMPRESS & THE WARRIORS, debuting July 21st as a Special Collector’s Edition DVD from Genius Products and The Weinstein Company, under their heralded Dragon Dynasty label. AN EMPRESS & THE WARRIORS is a “fast-moving crowdpleaser” (Variety) that features stunning epic battle sequences, brilliantly designed costumes, weapons, and armor, and slick camerawork certain to keep fans riveted to their seats.

Synopsis:

When the Kingdom of Yan’s longtime leader is murdered by his own nephew, the monarch’s only daughter (Chen) ascends to the throne. As the kingdom is threatened by an invading army, she must join forces with a local general (Yen) and go to battle to avenge her father’s death and bring safety to her people.

Special Features:
Feature Commentary by Hong Kong Cinema Expert Bey Logan

Basics:

Price: $19.97

Street Date: July 21, 2009

Order Due Date: June 9, 2009

Catalog Number: 1000276

Rating: R

Run time: 95 minutes

Language: English and Cantonese

Subtitles: English and Spanish

Closed Captioned

Buy it at Amazon.com

One Night Only: Lincoln's Last Day, Presented by the Quicksilver Radio Theater Live in NYC July 9th!

This is one show I wont be missing and I would suggest you don't either!

Buy Tickets and Get Information at:
http://www.galapagosartspace.com/events.html#070909

"AUDITION" and "THE STEPFATHER" Coming to DVD in October from Shout! Factory

Here's the latest word on these two popular titles from our friends at Shout! Factory...

Coming October 6th: We are releasing AUDITION in a Two-Disc DVD and Two Disc Blu-Ray Collector's Edition. On both editions the second disc is all-new bonus content shot last month. 75 minutes of interviews.

We just complete a new High Definition transfer from the inter-negative and we have a new digital stereo mix. So, it should look and sound better than ever before!Here is the rundown:

*New video introduction with director Takashi Miike
*New audio commentary with director Takashi Miike and screenwriter Daisuke Tengan
*New interviews with the cast including Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina, Renji Ishibashi and Ren Osugi
*Trailers
*Liner notes by Tom Mes, author of Agitator: The Cinema of Takashi Miike


Coming October 13th: The original .. THE STEPFATHER

$19.99...New High Definition transfer! Bonus content including an audio commentary and interviews with Producer Jay Benson, Actress Jill Schoelen. And more to be announced.

Nightmare Castle DVD Review: A Risk Worth Taking!

Severin films once again brings us more Italian classics with the Gothic horror film Nightmare Castle. It stars horror scream queen Barbara Steele, but perhaps even more interesting than the film itself, is the history behind the release of this movie and why it is important you support this Severin release.

Nightmare Castle is actually a well known horror film because it often played on American Television. The downside to this is that at some point it fell into the public domain (it no longer is). The problem with this is that censored and cropped TV prints have circulated on VHS and DVD for years. The risk of taking a title such as this that has been so heavily bootlegged is one few companies are willing to do these days. It's a big risk and one that I have to say was worth taking for Severin and for consumers wanting to seek out an enjoyable Italian Gothic horror film.

The film deals with the greed of a man and the steps he will take to take what is not rightfully his, even if it involves murder and driving his new wife insane. Barbara Steel actually play's the dual role of twin sisters. One the deceased spouse of Stephen Arrowsmith, and the other who is the now current spouse of the Evil Doctor. It's a movie that borrows a lot from other sources (and which the director freely admits too), but for fans of Italian Gothic horror you don't need to reinvent the wheel make a good movie.

The video is anamorphiclly enhanced for for widescreen at it's original aspect ratio of 1:66:1. There is some print damage and splices, but they are more the exception than the rule. Otherwise the crisp black and white picture blows all the public domain copies out of the water like a nuclear torpedo! The audio is standard English Mono and is clear and easy to understand.

In terms of extras Severin has really gone all out. Director Mario Caiano and his adorable pets give us a great 15 minute interview that talks about the making of the movie and is very informative, giving discussions of the lighting used to give the film it's creepy aura. Even more there is a 30 minute interview with actress Barbara Steele in which she discusses her early career, her deserting Elvis and how she got into Italian films.

In short Severin has rescued for the abyss of the "Public Domain" a Italian Gothic horror that fans will enjoy and extras that will make even casual fans of the movie want to pick this disc up. I can't wait to start see what Severin will be doing with Blu-ray.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED